Ep 012 | It’s Up to You: The Smart Dad’s Guide to Future

In this episode of the Smart Dad Podcast, Derek Moore discusses the importance of shaping your future through intentional actions and mindset. He shares personal stories and insights on how to build a future that aligns with your values and goals. The episode features the journey of a dad named Aaron, who transitioned from a corporate job to entrepreneurship, emphasizing the significance of preparation and focus. Derek encourages listeners to write a letter to their future selves as a way to reflect on their goals and the habits they want to cultivate.

Chapters

00:00 Shaping Your Future: The Smart Dad Mindset

16:01 The Journey of Aaron: From Corporate to Entrepreneur

22:50 Writing to Your Future Self: A Call to Action

Takeaways

• The future is shaped by our actions today.
• Mindset is crucial for personal growth and success.
• Discipline and systems are key to achieving goals.
• Writing to your future self can provide clarity and motivation.
• It's important to be intentional about the life you want to build.
• Success is a series of small wins accumulated over time.
• You can always pivot and change your path if needed.
• Surround yourself with supportive people who challenge you.
• Focus on building habits that align with your vision.
• Every decision you make impacts your future self.

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Transcript

Welcome back to the Smart Dad podcast. Today we're diving in to the eighth and final dimension of eight dimensional living the future. Now I don't mean flying cars, AI clones of ourselves and robots that make us fat and lazy. Although we may get there pretty soon. I'm talking about your future.

the one that you wake up into every morning. I'm talking about the future you'll hand off to your children when you're gone, the future you'll stand accountable for when you're gone and really the future that's already forming right now based on what you do today. So I want to speak to you, not as a guy who's already got it figured out,

the Smart Dad podcast is not that I'm smart because I have it figured out the Smart Dad podcast is because you'll be a smart dad. If you can learn from some of the mistakes and experiences I've already had. Remember, remember that experience, right? That you pay for is expensive, but wisdom is experience at a discount. I've already walked this for decades. I hope to help you out a little bit today.

If I can give you one phrase that I think I'd hang the entire episode on, it's this one, one mindset, one mantra. It goes like this. If it is to be, it's up to me. You may have heard that before. You may like it. You may not like it. I'm not arguing predestination and free will. All I'm saying is I've got a lot of stories and they're not formulas.

but I want you to listen to those glean what you can and then build something more into your life. There might be a principle you take away. It might be one word. It might be an idea that's generated, but I really want you to think about what we're talking about. So here we go. Buckle up. And I've told parts of this first story before, but this is where the thread really begins for me today. I was about 12 years old.

I had just begun my faith walk and I had in my mind a very clear vision of my future.

I believed I was supposed to be a doctor.

I believed that I wanted, I wanted to be, and I would be a doctor for children. I believed that I was going to be serving children as a missionary specifically in what I called Mexico, which those of you from Texas and the South, you realize that to us folks who are little kids, Mexico just means everything South of the Rio Grande. So

That was my vision. I thought that a doctor who helped kids was always called a pediatrician. I didn't know about all the different aspects of being a doctor, but I knew in my bones, I wanted to be a doctor who helped kids. I wanted to be a missionary. I wanted to be in Mexico as I called it. And I wanted to be a dad. I knew as I got older, this vision would come true and it didn't come from

anything external. It was in there. It was deep within me. It was strong and it really formed me for years and decades to come. So fast forward almost 40 years later, I didn't go to medical school like I thought I was. Instead, I chose to build a family. I was married at 20 years old. I chose to earn an income.

because I had my first kid at 21 years old and I wanted to be intentional and have more kids. the missionary work. I, I did that. I've been on four or five continents. That box is checked. Having kids. I've got 15 of those. I've told you that before. 10 girls, five boys. But interestingly, I started my PhD in education at 50 years old.

So here I am four decades later about to become a doctor, a PhD doctor, not a medical school doctor. And I'm ready to use my life's work to help kids where I am locally in our state, in our country, and even around the world. It's weird. The calling I had when I was 12, it wasn't wrong. It was limited by my 12 year old vocabulary, right?

Mexico was everything south of Texas. A pediatrician was a kid doctor. A missionary was someone who was a full-time paid missionary in some country. Well, that's not how it unfolded, but it's still unfolding and I'm still becoming more and more of that person every day. It's just with a more complex, nuanced vocabulary.

The future isn't something you just enter. It's something that you shape. And you shape that future moment by moment, thought by thought, and action by action. So let me fast forward to my last year as a teenager. I was 19 years old. I just finished my freshman year of college. And I worked a summer job that most people

wouldn't wish on their worst enemy. I sold educational books door to door, 80 hours a week, straight commission, a thousand miles from home in the 100 degree heat of Southern Indiana. I was by myself back then folks, no cell phones, long distance was too expensive and we worked our tails off. I worked six 13 and half hour days every week Other students might be lifeguarding Taking a blow-off summer school class so they could have more free time to party in the school year. I was grinding not because that was better than anybody else It was because I had a plan. I had already proposed to my girlfriend April of my freshman year of college We were getting married

12 months later at the end of the summer, I had already earned over 90 hours of college credit and I was literally living my school year life and summer life down to five minutes scheduled intervals. I wasn't stressed out. I wasn't showing off. I wasn't trying to get by though. I was trying to build a future. That first summer I made 10

thousand dollars in net profit in about ten and a half weeks. Now that was 1993. In 1993 the average household income was thirty one thousand dollars and I made a thousand dollars a week essentially of net profit for ten weeks. Adjusted for today

That's like a hundred thousand dollars. It's crazy. But as I was told by my mentors and by my leaders, my coaches, my managers, the real win here is not going to be the money, Derek. It's the momentum you build for life. That job taught me how to lead myself when no one was watching football taught me when you get knocked down, you get back up.

Selling books door-to-door taught me when you feel like quitting Go to the next door. I Don't know if you know what salespeople do but they pick the phone up and they make that next call That's what I did. I just went from door to door to door and that habit That I began way back then I forged it and I still use it today So that was after my freshman year

The next two years didn't slow down. I never took summer school and college because I was working. I also didn't have any debt because I earned a scholarship and I worked my tail off. In fact, I received about a five or $600 check back every semester from my scholarship after room, board, books, tuition. It was a greatest deal ever. I finished my bachelor's in biomedical science in three years again.

I wasn't showing off. I was ready to go. My last semester of college, I think I took 18 hours, 19, 17, something like that. But I took six senior level science courses all at once. Anatomy, microbiology, pharmacology, pathology, cellular biology, and biochemistry too. I didn't even walk at my own graduation because I was so busy.

I was already married, we were eight months pregnant. After I finished my college, I had a baby a month later, 21 years old. Now most people graduate and start to figure their life out. I had started mine with my new wife and my new daughter before my degree was even printed. It was crazy, I was sprinting and I was loving it.

Interestingly, I was a little lost for direction, but I was going in a hurry. So I grabbed a job, because I finished college in May, and I grabbed a job selling shoes at a local mall department store. And like my mom taught me and my dad and mom both modeled for me, do it the best you can. If you're a garbage man,

teacher, a doctor, we don't care, you give it your best. That's how I was raised and that's what I believed in, that's what I saw. So one day I sold a lady who was driving through town three pairs of shoes. She only wanted one pair of shoes but she picked up an extra one in taupe and I think an extra one in black and she liked how I treated her, she liked how we connected.

And she said, if you will drive to the city I'm going to, I will give you a job interview and I can almost guarantee you, you'll get this job. What is it? I asked, she said, you'll be selling cell phones in a newly deregulated industry. So bill Clinton had signed the telecommunications deregulation act in January of 1995 on Valentine's day of 1996.

I started my new life. I packed up my wife, my newborn daughter. In fact, we were pregnant already with my second kid and we moved. And within a year, actually within a quarter, I was the top producer. I was the top salesman. And then not long after that, maybe a year and a half later, I bought a franchise from the phone company. Built that up, age 23 or 24. I was making six figures.

and running my own business. Not because I got lucky, but because I had been building toward it since I was 12 years old. Ironically, I remember taking a personality assessment, I don't know, around 22 years old, 21 years old, I finished college, and it said that I had the traits of a CEO of a mid-sized to large non-engineering firm. Now that was very specific. So I said to my mom,

Mom, look at this. It says I'm supposed to be a CEO. I had a biomedical science degree and I was selling lady shoes, but she laughed at my naivete, my optimism. And she said in a very matter of fact, down to earth, but not condescending way, Derek, they don't just give those jobs away. I heard what she said. I said, yeah, I guess you're right. So I built one

That's what I built, the cell phone company. Now, if you've heard about that business, I mentioned it earlier, it was also the business I lost more than a quarter million dollars of what I was worth. But this lesson is about what I built. Today we're talking about what we built into our future. It doesn't mean it turns out perfectly. I lost everything I had plus a quarter million dollars by 25, before 25. Three kids broke.


Here's the takeaway. I had a vision as a boy. I developed that into focus as a student. had a 100 average in Spanish for four years. I had A pluses in math and science. I studied what I needed to become a missionary pediatrician to Mexico. I disciplined myself. Nobody could make me work hard and nobody could stop me. I nearly graduated valedictorian.

captain of the football team. I was going to Mexico mission trips in high school and I again quote unquote knew I was going to be this when I grew up. It didn't pan out that way exactly, but it points back to the truth. I want you to remember if it is to be, it's up to me and I don't think anyone is actually self-made. I'm not talking about, Hey, I was self-made.

but you can be self-led. Jim Rohn says, discipline weighs ounces. Regret weighs tons.

James Clear, I think he wrote Atomic Habits. He said a great, great line. You don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. And remember, I told you the word system I use as an acronym, S-Y-S-T-E-M. That stands for save your self, time, energy, money. To me, systems.

build what you do. And finally, James Clear says, every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. So I'm setting the stage here not to talk about myself, but to talk about what you can see in other dads and who you can become. This is not just about me. There are dads all over the world who are stepping into their futures with clarity.

conviction and courage. So stick around for a minute. I'm going to introduce you to Aaron. I think you'll be glad you met him.

Aaron is a dad I've coached. We're friends now. We've spent a lot of years, a lot of hours together. He's a man I've walked alongside for years. He's walked alongside me. We've had cigars together. Our kids have crawled on the floor together. Our families have even cruised together. Though Aaron missed the cruise for his corporate job.

He was working this steady but soul draining corporate job. paid very well, especially for a man in his 30s, but it didn't spark a single ounce of vision. Aaron is someone who just doesn't want to accept what's handed to him. So he spent some time, he spent some energy and some money learning how to invest wisely into single family rentals.

In fact, he spent time methodically researching, following a really great system and ended up with 10 rental homes. Check that box. He had done a great job of stretching himself and learning and adding to his portfolio. They helped his balance sheet. They helped his cash flows, but Aaron had that itch. don't know you've ever had that itch. It's the fire in your belly. It's when you know you were meant to do something more.

So about that time he'd been looking hard into a franchise and buying into it. think it was, it's floor polyaspartic flooring coatings. It'd be a territory based deal right here where we lived. And you know, he said, I think I'm ready to walk away from this boring job that pays me great. But to his credit, he did not just leap. He asked for some counsel.

We put together a mastermind group I had assembled. I had successful entrepreneurs whom I trusted. Aaron had gotten to know and Aaron trusted and we got to work. We met week after week. We broke it down. We sliced it. We diced it. We ran the numbers and we told him not what he wanted to hear, but what he needed to hear. You know, we saw

This deal was not great. It was okay, but it wasn't set up for him to win. It was too expensive. It was too narrow in its focus and had too much risk for too little upside. So Aaron thought, Aaron prayed, Aaron reviewed everything we said and he walked away from that opportunity. He stayed in the corporate job that he could barely tolerate. And since he had a new kid,

He focused on being a great dad. Focus on being a husband. His wife gave birth to their daughter. He took every minute of paternity leave. He could. I love that about him. He said, I want more babies. I don't want to miss one. He worked hard. He played hard. He loved his wife and kids at that moment, but he was waiting and kept his eyes open. And then something happened. And guys, I think we missed

take we we underestimate or as W said maybe we miss underestimate the power of focus the power of a vision and he was sharp and ready to respond and guess what he got a call one day same company same industry but this time a totally different city a totally different state a different deal

And really quite a different opportunity. He was offered the chance to become a 75 % owner in a new location in a partnership with two seasoned experts who had proven the model at high levels. And they wanted to help him build their refined model. What's the catch? It was in his state he'd never even visited.

He didn't know the streets. He didn't know the people. He didn't know the weather, the populations, anything. But he knew two things. He trusted the people inviting him in and he trusted the man he was becoming. So what did he do? Dropped off his baby, his baby at his grandparents house, grabbed his wife and took an exploratory trip. And these are pretty steady people. They made a decision within weeks. They packed their bags, found a house,

and moved what became his pregnant wife. Yeah, so his wife was now pregnant with his second kid moving to another state. Now they were close to her family, five, six, seven, eight hours away, far from his family, but he was stepping into the unknown and betting on a future self. I got to tell you, Aaron and I talk regularly. He is thriving. He's delivering excellence.

in a community that didn't even know his name a few years ago. He's not just building a service business or a product business. He's building margin into his bottom line, margin into his family, margin for any growth opportunities, margin for more babies, margin for more opportunities. He's scaling. He's being smart. He's investing wisely. He's buying equipment. He's adding crews.

And all the while he's staying grounded in his faith, connected to his family, keeping himself physically healthy and being true to his mission. So this is what it looks like to say no to the wrong thing and yes to the right thing and to build your future on purpose. So Aaron didn't dream. He didn't go for it and risk everything. He went in eyes wide open.

his head up and that's exactly what I want every dad to do. Don't just drop everything and run. You might be a quick thinker. You might be able to weigh the costs quickly, but you need to weigh the costs. You need to make sure that you're ready for what's coming. The future will favor the dads who prepare for it. And then those dads can walk with conviction into the future.

So before we close today, I want to take you back to, gosh, that summer, that first summer that I was 19. 80 hours a week, straight commission, a book bag, a thousand miles from home, straight commission. But we went to Nashville, Tennessee for training for a week. And the last day of training, they handed us an envelope and said, write a letter. Don't write a letter to us. Don't write a letter to your girlfriend or your

your mom or dad, write a letter to your future self. The man who you're going to be when you drive home from Nashville the last day of the summer. What do you want to say to him? So we would start in Nashville for training. We would go to our location, close it out in Nashville, then drive home. What would I say to Derek?

end of summer, Derek, Derek, who had finished working 80 hours a week for 10 plus weeks. So I wrote, I wrote about the numbers I wanted to hit. I wrote about the growth I wanted to personally have. I wrote about the guys I wanted to bond with. I wrote about who I wanted to be.

As a result of the summer what what habits I wanted to create or begin And then I wrote a prayer That there would be enough change in me to make that happen I sealed it And didn't see it gave it to the company months later we get back We open it up. man, I'll never forget all the sweat all the exhaustion. I had earned the double gold seal the

Yeah, the double I want to win award because I had my best week of the summer one of my last two weeks Which was my second to last week and then I beat that week during the last week So I had my best two weeks of the summer my last two weeks of the summer and then I earned the gold seal gold award which was Guaranteed to anyone who wanted to know that I worked 80 plus hours a week every week. I Had sweat I had exhaustion I had knocked on thousands of doors literally hundreds every day heat rejection gun being pulled dogs being crazy sunrise sunset And then I saw that letter I opened it up and it's crazy how much you can grow in 10 12 weeks It was written by a younger Idealistic naive version of myself and it and it was a gut punch and it was a gift all at once I thought it was gonna be such a great summer

I didn't count on packing up once and trying to go home and talking myself into it and out of it and then staying. I didn't expect to get a Dear John letter, which is when your girlfriend, in my case, fiance, breaks up with you. I did not expect to have had so much pain and yet so much success. somewhere along the way, I had learned how to win 13 and a half hour days.

They're terrible, but they're manageable because we broke them into thirds. That's three, four and a half hour chunks. I would eat between the three chunks. That was kind of like a lunch break and a dinner break. Scarf it down and keep going. I broke those four and a half hour chunks into one and a half hour chunks. And then we would zone that out. And then I broke those one and a half hour chunks into half hour chunks. And then I got my sweet spot.

those half hour, 30 minute sessions and focuses, I broke down into three 10 minute wins. I realized I could do anything for 10 minutes. I could do one 10 minute block in the neighborhood. It was five houses, 10 houses, whatever. If I could do that, that's a win. Then I could do another block. My day essentially became...

stringing together 81 consecutive 10 minute sprints and I was chasing the numbers not the results. I was chasing the discipline the habits because I knew if I did this hour by hour day by day week by week I would win. Sure enough I didn't just build stamina I had stamina I built structure. I didn't just build some money it did make me some money but I built identity. I didn't just become a bookseller. I became a man who served people. Even now I can say the man I am today has a lot of gratitude for the man I was over 30 years ago. Not because that young guy was perfect but because he didn't quit. You can't quit men. You can't. So here's what I want you to do.

if you have the gumption, if you have the strength. I don't want you to wait till tomorrow or next week, today, tonight, before the noise of your life comes back in, pull over to the side of the road, whatever you need to do. Write yourself a future letter. Write, excuse me, write a letter to your future self. Write it today. Get a real pen or a real pencil. Use mascara, use lipstick.

Use, I don't care what you got. Get paper, give yourself 15 minutes. Make it, make it sacred, make it focused and focus on something. So here's some questions to prompt you. What do I want to thank my future self for today? And what do I want my future self to thank me for today? Is it for the habits you started today?

Is it for the decisions you made today? Is it for the leadership you showed in a tough spot today?

Maybe, maybe this is going to be a good prompt for you. What would your future self warn you about? Are there shortcuts that you're taking today or you're tempted to take? And your future self is going to tell you, Hey, those shortcuts are not going to pay off. Are there conversations you keep avoiding? Remember that conflict delayed is conflict multiplied.

Is your future self warning you that you're kind of drifting from success mode into survival mode?

Maybe you can be motivated by this. What kind of man are you becoming? Ask yourself that. And are you doing it on purpose or are you just defaulting to it?

And then finally, what is one habit, just a 10 minute habit that you can start right now and you can win at? You can, you can do it for 10 minutes. it drinking a bottle of water? Is it doing pushups, jumping jacks? Is it reading a newspaper or a book? Is it making a phone call to a friend or family member? I don't know. Is it a sales call? What one 10 minute habit can you win at right now? So write that letter, seal it, put a date on it, and think, are you gonna write to your future self six days from now, six months from now, six years from now? You decide that, and then put it somewhere you'll remember. Maybe you need to tell somebody, your wife or somebody who'll help you find it. And then,

Start building the life that that man Will be proud of when he opens it because listen you're negotiating today on behalf of your future self and that guy is real he's watching You're not behind you're not stuck. You're literally simply One ten minute win away from a different future and then you rinse and repeat and you rinse and repeat I did it 81 times a day For an entire summer

So men, this is what smart dads do. We don't just go along to get along. We design our lives. We reflect on that and we recalibrate, realign it so that you can lead your future with clarity and conviction. Remember, if it is to be, it's up to me. So.

If it is to be, it's up to you. Thanks so much for joining me on the Smart Dad podcast. I think that your future is within your hands and you need to start today. Have a great day.