About When God Says Pick Up The Paintbrush with Donna Lent Russell

A headstone in an old San Antonio cemetery stopped Donna Lint-Russell in her tracks, and it never really let her go. Years later, that single epitaph collides with a 3 am wake-up, a Max Lucado book, and a painting she could not finish because the woman had no face. We talk with Donna about what it means to hear God’s voice, how grief can silence creativity, and why obedience sometimes looks like picking up a paintbrush when you feel least able to try.

Our conversation also moves into Uvalde, Texas, and the unbearable question so many people ask after tragedy: where is God? Donna shares how she prayed for a way to help, then received a clear image that became a memorial painting layered with meaning, from the Tree of Life to 21 doves and carefully researched details meant to honor each child and teacher. We explore the comfort and mystery of faith, the idea of a thin veil between earth and heaven, and the hope that light still shines in darkness.

Then Donna tells the story that could save a life: her Thanksgiving heart attack that initially looked “normal” on an EKG because it was on the back of her heart. We unpack women’s heart attack symptoms, troponin blood testing, and the need to advocate for yourself even when you worry about disrupting everyone else. If you care about Christian encouragement, spiritual healing, grief, purpose, and practical women’s health wisdom, this one stays with you. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review with the moment that hit you hardest.

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Donna

SPEAKER_00 0:30

And my guest today is Donna Lint Russell, a very wonderful artist. I got to know her just recently. And we have had so much to talk about, me as a beginning artist and trying to learn this craft. And she, who has been doing it for at least 20 years, that this girl has practiced and honed that gift, that talent that he's given her. And I'm so happy to have you, Donna. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you. Um now Donna's gonna share with us a little bit about herself.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

In some form or fashion, um, always drew or colored or painted. I didn't officially start painting until my oldest son was in sixth grade, going into sixth grade. Some of the items on his school list were art supplies. Oh wow. So while I was at the store buying his art supplies, I thought, you know what, I'm gonna buy some for myself and see what I can do. And I went home and sketched out the family dog, and I thought, that's not terrible. So started painting, you know, from there that Christmas, everybody got paintings of crosses because that was my go-to piece. I I always saw crosses in in my thoughts and visions and always see lines. Yeah. Oh, you have the most amazing lions. A pretty incredible line, yes. But that's you know, something that God gave me. So uh, but yeah, started out with crosses, and it's funny, my sister has some of those, and to see some of those from so long ago, uh, I always laugh at them because I'm like, wow, that was so uh elementary to me. Yes, from where I started and where I am now and how God has allowed me to grow in this craft and shine through my art. Yes. Because it's it's I I when I finish a piece um that he has given me to paint, when I'm done, I literally break down because I'm I'm like I I did that. It's like no, God did that. I just he just used me. Yes. The paintbrushes were his tools, and I love that he allowed me to create this piece.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

That's the truth. It's like nothing's in us that can do anything without him. That's right. Um, even if you haven't been recognizing his power in you, he gives us the power to make wealth, he gives us the power to walk every day, to breathe every day, to give him praise, and he desires that we praise him. And you know, one of the best ways we can praise him is by using the gifts and talents that he's threw into us. And I just love that story of how you have taken that and really uh recognized that that this was a gift of God in place.

Grief That Shuts Creativity Down

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Had I not said yes all those years ago, I wouldn't be where I am now. Yeah, and and it was it was a really tough road because at the time, um, when I was 40, um, which was 20 years ago, yes, my grandmother had died, and I had just started paying. Yes. When she died, we were like two peas in a pod. And it was the first person to die in my family since I was 10. Oh wow. So I didn't know death until then. And when I got home from her funeral, I boxed up all of my art supplies. Um, there was a piece that I had started on, and it's in my book uh that I talk about. Um that I just walked over to it and I gessoed the entire thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Oh, yeah, I remember you telling me that.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Yes.

A Headstone That Would Not Let Go

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Um, if you want me to talk about that, yeah, like you can. Yeah, I'd like you to I uh we're gonna just visit about like some of the processes and some of the things that God's done with you. So just yeah, let's let it go where Okay. Uh God leads it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

So um when I was much younger in my 20s, um, I started out uh or didn't know what commission only was at the time. And but I needed a job. I was in between jobs, and this one landed in my lap, and it was selling funeral plots for mission funeral homes. Oh wow. Yeah, totally outside of the realm of my personality. Yeah. Um and who I am, but you know, I was I was young. Um I was only there two weeks, but in that two week in that two-week period of time, we went to uh this very old cemetery, one of the oldest ones in San Antonio, um, Lock Hill Cemetery on the corner of uh Fredericksburg and Hebrew. That's where my mom's buried. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Wow. Wow, just last coincidence. Wow. Okay, that's that's the only cemetery I'll probably know in San Antonio, just because of last year. That's incredible. Her mom is buried though, but she is not there. She is running through heaven.

The Unfinished Painting Without A Face

SPEAKER_01 5:36

She's not well when I was there, and and it was this this little field trip to get us accustomed to you know going to cemeteries. Uh so I'm walking around the cemetery and I come across this headstone. And it was Grace Llewellyn Smith. At this young age, I hadn't experienced life really yet. I mean, basically, I lived under a rock and you know, didn't pay attention to anything but you know, what was there in front of me at the given moment. And I I read this epitaph and it says her name. It has the name of her two husbands. Um, no birth here, no death here. And it says, Love but was love not, try to please, but pleased not, died as she lived alone. I was like, who are you? You know what happened? How do you have the names of both your husbands, but yet your name doesn't match either of their last names? Yeah. And it and it really hit me hard. Yeah. And um I would go back like every year and see her and visit with her and and just kind of pray over her. And I was young. Um, but I didn't start going back until eight or nine years later, when I was much older. I when I after I got married, after I had children, it stuck with me. And I and I've always always thought about her. Um, when I was pregnant with my second child, I went back and and talked with her and you know, prayed for her, and and then when I started painting, um, I would think about her, but I would continually go back and I would tell people this story. It's like, you know, I don't know her. This is before the internet, this is before, you know, being able to find anybody that you could find online. Yes, yes. So I didn't know. And then I the painting that I gessoed was probably the best painting I had done at the time. Uh-huh. And it was the woman at the well, the Samaritan woman. And I just had this vision. I woke up one day and I was like, this is what I need to paint. And it wasn't that I was reading the Bible because I wasn't at that age. And and I and it wasn't because I was going to church, because I wasn't at that age. I was a young mother. I uh was busy with PTA, school, you know, I was a stay-at-home mom for a while. Did I have faith? Yes, I did. And and I I grew up, I was Craigle Catholic, so you know, we didn't study the Bible.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

It's along the street. So long from yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Okay, so going back to the the painting, the woman at the well. Yes. I painted the this vision that I had. I I painted the mountains in the background, uh, a path coming from from there where the town was all the way as it widened to the well. And I mean, I painted mountain laurels and beautiful trees and shrubs, and everything had a flower or fruit on it. And and I painted everything in detail, which I'd never done before. Yes, including her, her clothing, the the water jug she was carrying. You were or something like that. Yeah, and and her her the the the clothing around her head and her hair, and Jesus was sitting on the ground with his knee up, one arm like this, and his left leg stretched out, and his head was down, right? Like this. Oh wow. And so his hair kind of covered his face. I could not paint her face. So it saddled the easel in my living room for months. And every day I'd walk by and I'd I kept saying, God, give me, give me something. Give me her face. I need to finish this, and I can't do her face. It's just this blank face. Then my grandmother died. I came home, all these thoughts in my head, why are you doing this? Why are you painting? You're not that good anyway. You might as well just box all that up and and be done with it, because that's you're never gonna make make anything. You're not gonna be anything worthwhile. It's not gonna, it's you're just wasting your time. Those are all things going to be. Loud and clear. Grabbed a box, threw everything in there, grabbed the white gesso, just painted with aggression. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

And it was done. Well, and and you know, grief is such a real emotion that is going to bring out that anger and frustration and not understanding as much as we have faith in the Lord, losing somebody that we love is just a very hard thing that we have to go through. And, you know, I don't really understand it, but I know that God loves us. Yes, He loves us so much. And He is the defense of our life. And three months later, yeah, it was Easter.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And my husband and I had taken our sons to Barnes Noble, go to Barnes Noble, and I said, I'm gonna look around, see what I can find. And they had a big table in the middle of the aisle, and it was Easter. So um, there were tons of books. And I picked up this book called Six Hours One Friday by Max Locato. Oh gosh. And I didn't know who Max Locato was. Oh wow. And I was like, okay, kind of thumb through it, and I was like, I I'm one of those people that gets buyer's remorse before you actually buy something. And so I set it down and picked up a few more books, set those down. I was like, I'm gonna go see what they're doing, see what they found. So I walked over, they're still looking. He goes, We're almost done. I said, Okay, come get me. I said, I'm still looking. He goes, You haven't found anything? I said, No, I said I looked at a few things, but so I go back to that same table and walk around, still don't find anything, and then I hear my husband, okay, we're going, meet us at the front. So I go over and I grab a book. Matt's blue canoe. I was like, I'll just go with this one. We go and we took out and we get home and 3 15 a.m. I sat straight up in bed, read the book. Really?

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Okay, so let's step back. We learned to hear his voice. Yes. And sometimes it's a we can't that you can't get our attention until 3 a.m. 3 a.m. We talk a lot, but in the day, that's the true statement. That's a true statement. Yeah, we're quiet and at three at that holy hour. Yeah. Um, but I just want to tell you guys, you girls out there, that he speaks. He wants you to hear his voice, and it doesn't sound like your voice, and so I want you to listen. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

And even though when you think you've given up, yes, he has to believe you, yeah. And and there was between January when my grandmother passed and April, that period of time without the art, without you know, having this outlet, um, I was lost. And then this happened. And so he said, read the book. Okay. So I grabbed my pillow and my blanket, went into the living room, turned the lamp on, and I started reading the book. And I got through the first couple of chapters pretty quickly, and I was looking at the time, and I was like, okay, I'm wide awake. You know, what do you want? What do you want? The next chapter was the two headstones. And I started reading it. Well, Max talks about on his drive to work every day to Oak Hill's Church of Christ, I think is what it was at the time. Um, he always passed by this old cemetery. I know where you're at, but I started thinking. Yeah. And then he says, So I so on this day with the sky threatening of rain, I pull under the the arch of Lock Hill Cemetery. And he goes, So I found myself walking around, and he's talking about other headstones. He goes, and then I saw it. And I go, No, no way. And he said, There in front of me was this headstone. And then he read her epitaph. Grace Will and Smith. And at this point, I'm crying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

So I'm looking at this little book that um Donna has, and she has her story in here, and right there is that little cemetery. I know y'all can't see that there. We'll take a picture and add it to the end. But that's just amazing. It was amazing. How God works. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

And this is 20 years after I first seen her.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

So he's talking about it. I'm crying, and it's not cry, it's not, it was it was tears of joy. Yes. Because the whole time I'm sitting there thinking, Grace, you're being recognized. Yes. You're being noticed.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

You weren't noticed before. You're being noticed. Yeah. And and and then I'm like, God, you thank you for giving me this.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

And that yes, that's it. He gave it to you at that moment. It wasn't when Max Lakato published that book. It was like in the moment. Yes. Yes. And he continued.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

That was the first headstone. Now he continues. And he goes, She is very similar to another woman. And I'm going, I'm I'm like speed reading now, trying to get through and get the message. And and it was at this moment that Jesus was standing in my living room. And he said, There was another woman who was married five times. And she didn't even take the name of her last husband. She walked through the streets but was not noticed. She was loved to loved, but not loved.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

She tried to please tried to please, but please not. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

And it was if she didn't have a face. My pain.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

She didn't have a face. My pain. So he was already putting it in there. Yes, and then the whole story is. That's okay. Yes. He started, he carried him just our arms for anything else, but just to teach us, right? And he went to clean. Yes. Um so I can start over. That's so good.

Uvalde Tragedy And A Painting Of Hope

SPEAKER_01 16:03

And that's the message that I and I'm standing there, and he goes. And what he said to me in that moment was, you need to pick up your paintbrush. Okay. You need to get back to this. Yes. Because it is important. So going on from there. Yes. So you you grew up in Evaldi? No, I well, uh, I moved to Evaldi when I was 14. Okay. So my mom and stepdad married and um and then he became my dad, which was wonderful. He's an amazing, incredible human being. And um, and so I spent my 10th grade through my senior year in high school in Evaldi. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

And so then uh not very many years ago, there was a terrible May 2019. May 24th, 2022. May 24th, 2022. All these little children died um at the hand of a gunman, and it was devastating, and it makes you think, where is God? I every time this happens, we think, where is God? And yes, he was there. And um he put on your heart to paint.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

The day that I heard about it, I was actually at a seminar, and so my phone was on silent. As soon as I got out, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all these messages. And and I'm scrambling, I'm like, what's happening, what's happening? And and then I found out, and I was just I was shattered. Yes and I didn't, I couldn't cry. I could not cry. And and I can't, all I could do was pray. I I prayed every day, all day, all night, whenever I woke up in the middle of the night, because I couldn't sleep. And God, please help me help them. That was my prayer. What can we do? What can I do? What can I do? Show me what I can do. On the fourth day, 3 15 in the morning, sat up and he gave me this image.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

And so um, you were telling me about this image before I saw the painting. Um, you told me about the tree.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

So talk to me about the tree.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

So he told me the tree of life needed to be there to represent heaven. And it also represents Uvaldi, because Uvaldi is known as Tree City USA. Oh, yeah. Because they have beautiful oak trees, beautiful oak trees. Um, many in the middle of the street. That had to be the center focus was the tree, because people needed to know where these children are going.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Are are going and that that's where they are, and that's where they are. Yeah, and that's where they're with the Lord. They're with they're in that tree of life that is continual. Absolutely, but it still was just so devastating. But okay, so you paint you wanted the tree of life in there, and then the birds.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

So uh the day after, this was uh the the day that Joe died, uh, the husband of Irma, somebody took a picture of the water tower. In that photo, there were exactly 21 doves flying across when I counted each one. And so I knew the water tower was significant and yeah, it had to be in there. Not only that, in the photo, their two birds' wings were touching.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Oh my gosh, which you can see in here. Oh, I love that, I love that so much. And then in the painting, too, every one of the children in the Michelle and you and the teachers are dressed where they were dressed that day.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Yes, because they know they had an honors uh ceremony. I studied each one of them and learned you know what I could on that fourth day about each one of them. And I had I printed out their pictures, I had them all up in front of me, and I had to paint them as though they were walking away from the viewer. Uh so I had to to make sure what they were wearing, that their families and friends would know who each person was in the painting. Because it's it's important. Yeah, it is important. And including Joe in the painting was crucial because he was a direct his his death was a direct result of what happened because he died of a broken heart. And which which just to me is what a true testimony of deep, deep love.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

You know, to you just I love that you had them holding each other in the picture and they're back together again. Yeah. For eternity, you know, yeah, for eternity. And we, you know, when we get married, he says the two shall become one. They really are they really are, and they are it's an amazing painting, and then what God did with it after that is amazing too, because your your desire was how do I help? Yeah, and so there's something, a couple of things have happened since.

Symbols In The Memorial Artwork

SPEAKER_01 21:20

And that's that's yes, definitely. So another aspect that a lot of people don't see that's in there are three angels.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

I don't there. Oh, oh, oh my gosh. Okay, so I decided to tell you, Betty, I already told you, that um a young friend who was a flyer um died. Her plane went into the a big lake at um a um plane show, a flying show. And um none of us could believe it because she is just so she had already published books. She was young, she was married, she's just amazing. And um I went to her funeral or her memorial service, and the people were sitting, the uh people, the family was sitting right here, but the the uh person who was doing the service was up kind of on this raised area. And the first thing I noticed was that behind that person there were uh like it's like three shapes with and you could just see somebody, it was red. It was kind of a red haze, and I kept thinking, it's the gas from the plane, you know. Like, and I said, Lee, can you see that? And it was like three people up there. That's what I thought behind him. And then he said, What are you talking about? I said, Well, it must be just a gas, but I see it looks like there's people right there. And then I turned and looked across, and there were all of these bodies out there with this red haze kind of making, it was just like shadowy, you know, kind of like that. And um it was a multitude of witnesses just came into my heart and in my mind. And that's kind of I've looked at you! Oh my gosh! So I that's the other thing we don't understand it. There's a veil between us and heaven, but it is so thin, sometimes especially, and I believe when these amazing warriors in the earth, and Devin was such a, you know, really lived to glorify God. And I believe these children lived to glorify God, and Irma and Joe and the other teacher, Eva, the other teacher, and they were glorifying God, and there was a great company of witnesses, angels. There were there are a lot, all those that have gone before.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

They are not our understanding. They are not of our understanding.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Yeah, we only get pieces. Waking up at 3:15 in the morning, 14. 315, yeah, 15 a.m. 3:15 a.m. and um seeing these things uh as they're happening and hearing them, hearing God's voice, though those are just our little nuggets to keep us going. We need to make the choice to follow him, to trust him, yeah, to believe what he says, and live this life out fully as he's called us to do, because it's just short. It is.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

For all of us, it's just short. I look at it, and I know it's been said before, but I look at it as a candle. You you start off here and just as that burn in the buttons.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Like, so like if you don't burn, maybe your wick stays up there, but what good is it? Yeah, you know, we're supposed to bring a light. That's it. We are supposed to bring light into the darkness. We're supposed to like be shh light out there, and who he created you to be is how you burn your flame according to his word, right? That's right, because the darkness is afraid of the light. Yeah, the darkness flees. Yes. So that is just like a reaffirmation of that to me, is just like these little touches that he gives us. And he does give them to everybody. You might say, Well, I haven't heard God, but I believe you have. And if you just would get quiet and listen, you'll hear it. And ask him to hear him. You know, sometimes it just takes us being willing to listen, and then you'll know it's his voice because you wouldn't even say that.

Angels And The Thin Veil

The Thanksgiving Heart Attack Story

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Yes, with everything, uh the book that I wrote, uh, I wrote last year because I I was telling my sister, uh, I guess it was it's been two years now, I was telling my sister and everybody that I that I could that I met this story of of how this piece came to be. And um my sister said, You need to, you need to write, do you have this written down? I said, No, it's all in my head. She said, You need to write it down, you need to write a book and write about it. And I thought that writing the book was was, you know, getting all of my thoughts onto the book was the end of it, but then the story continued. And so I I I delayed my book a little bit further because uh some other things occurred um that you can read about in the book, and which were very exciting that God says, yeah. When in fact, one of the chapters is called Um When God Says He's Not Done Yet, or something similar to that. And and so uh Oh wow, that's okay. He's he's not done. And there's another chapter called uh When God is Writing Your Story But You Keep Stealing the Pin. Okay, now I just laugh like that because I'm the one stealing the pen that all the time. That's like no, I'm gonna do it my way. I'm gonna do it my way. That's the thing. It is, and and it's not, but you really have to to listen. Because when you get out of your own way, yes, when you get out of your own way, he's gonna show you what it is he really wants you to do. And then you better be ready. And and that was my message last year. It was like, you and I would hear it from different people. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for what's next? And and I'll be like, Well, yeah, of course I'm ready. I and I thought I was. So I was taking on all of these different things, and and it was hard for me to say no, especially when I saw people in need of help, or you know, especially my church community and my church. So yeah, literally, I was burning the candle at both ends and not realizing um that I that I was. Um, I still thought I was taking care of myself, taking care of my family. Never, I was just going. And then on Thanksgiving day, um, my husband and I put the turkey in the oven. We always have Thanksgiving dinner, and we were expecting our family for dinner that evening around six. Put it in 11 o'clock in the morning. We went and laid down. Um, my mom had texted that she was coming over to bring some things, and I said, we're gonna take a nap. So she said, okay, I won't bother you. So she came over about 15, 20 minutes after we had gone to sleep. Well, when I laid down, I fell into a hard sleep and like immediately because I didn't even realize how tired I was. Well, when my mom came over, my dog was asleep on my bed. And when she left and shut the door, Bella heard the door and jumped off the bed, which is what woke me up. And I laid there for a second. I was like, oh, I feel like I'm getting heartburned. And so I sat up and I was like, I better go take some heartburn medication before this gets worse. So I got up and I went into the kitchen. The first thought in my head was take a baiar aspirin. And I never take bayer aspirin. In fact, I was like, What am I gonna get bear aspirin? And I turn and I've got these three shelves in my kitchen. There's a bottle of bay or aspirin sitting right there on the shelf. Wow. Okay, so when I ran and grabbed the bottle, I opened it and I I couldn't, my hands weren't working. Oh wow, I couldn't get a pill, so I just dumped the bottle out and I took one. And I'm standing in the kitchen, I'm like, okay, I need to move these chairs into the living room, dining room, because we're gonna have a lot of people, and and then the next thought, you know, God talking, you're not moving anything. Go and sit down. And so I went and I sat down on the couch, and as soon as I leaned back, I felt the sharp pain in my left shoulder blade. Oh wow, like a knife going into my shoulder blade. And I sat up and I'm like, what is that? And I still had this right here, like hard, hard pain, like just to touch it, yeah, it hurt. And now this in my back. And then when I sat up, I felt the pain coming up, and then I felt pain under here all the way to my elbow, and I went, and then my body started sweating profusely. Oh wow. And I was wearing a long, in fact, I was wearing this shirt. Oh, okay. Long sweet shirt. And I'm just pouring sweat and I don't sweat. Yeah. Even when I work out or walk or whatever, I don't sweat. And walked back into the dining room, and I'm standing there, I'm like, okay, this is this is something's wrong. Something's way wrong. I'm gonna have to wake up for it. So I went over and I grabbed his foot and kind of wiggled his foot, and he didn't wake up. So I went over to my side of the bed and I touched his hand. And even at this point, I was like, I I'm ruining Thanksgiving. That's how we have an or two. I'm just taking this. Yeah, I'm ruining Thanksgiving. And I touched his hand and he and he his he lifted his head up and he looked at me and I go, I'm so sorry, but I think I'm having a heart attack. And he sat up and he goes, Let's go. And I mean, and and he, even he, is not one. He didn't usually but he could see something. He saw something. Yeah. Yeah. So I got to the car, collapsed in the passenger seat. When I got there, they hooked me up to an EKG. The EKG came back. Well, she's not having a heart attack. It reads normal. And at this point, I couldn't even really talk because I had my arms were just like this. I couldn't, I had no uh, my body was still sweating. I started getting nauseated. And the next thing out of my mouth was have them check further. And then they came over and they drew blood. And then they said, We're sending her to CT scan to see what we can see. So they drew blood, they sent me off to CT scan. That was traumatic because I'm still in pain. I had already been sick, they had given me the little bad thing.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

And you're inside the tube.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Yes, and they're telling me to not breathe, not move, not move, and I'm in pain. And I I laid there on the table, and literally that that was the moment that I asked God, I said, This is it, right? And I said, and I and I audibly said, I'm dying right now. I'm about to die. In this tube, in this tube, because of the pain. I can't even describe it. No, it's like horrible.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

It would feel helpless, yeah, complete nothing.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

And they're yeah, because they're in another room. Tell me, just calm down, Miss Russell. I'm like, you don't understand. Yeah, I'm dying.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

I'm dying.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Yeah. And and uh, and then all of a sudden it was over. They took me back into the ER room, and the doctor came in, and they had done two EKGs and both came back normal. That is scary.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

Yes, right there, yes, because that's what they always tell them. And then they sent you, you know, you need your EKG. Your EKG's fine, you don't have anything going on.

Tests Miss Women’s Symptoms

SPEAKER_01 32:37

No, test further, always. The reason the EKG didn't register a heart attack was because it was on the back of my heart. Oh my gosh. EKG is designed to read the front of your heart. Okay. So that piece of knowledge, in and of itself, is crucial for women because our symptoms are so different from men. And not only that, our mentality is so different from men because we're we're the givers. We're we're the ones that that want to handle everything. We don't want to upset the holiday.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Yes. You know, oh I know. I would be the second, I feel like I've been the same way. Yeah, like I can just get through this, and then it would have been too late. Well, if I hadn't woken up, if she hadn't come back, that that you know, it it's America. And then they found they fixed one.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

They they found that my uh circumflex artery was 100% blocked.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

And they said, the ER doctor came in and he goes, You are having a heart attack, you're gonna be in surgery within the hour. Okay. And and I sat there and my husband's sitting there, and we're like, Okay, this is this is happening. And so I'm trying to wrap my head around I'm I'm having a heart attack. And so they took me in, and I'm awake through the whole thing. So they give you like a twilight drug. So I'm still talking, and I knew I was talking because apparently I was telling them jokes because they were laughing. Even in the even in here, but laughter's the best of. So I'm laying on the table and I'm telling them, I do remember this. What part of the turkey has the most feathers? Because it's Thanksgiving, right? And they're all like, oh, what? I don't know. I go I go to the outside. Um, and then I hear him talking and you know, in all these technical terms and everything. And the next thing I know it, I wake up in the ICU. And that day I continued, um, so there's there's an enzyme that your heart puts out when you're having a heart attack. Um, it's called troponin. Normal troponin levels are zero to zero point zero four. When they drew my blood in the ER while I was in the CT scan when I came back, my blood level showed uh the enzymes showed that my troponin levels were at 50.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

So my gosh, they're deciding it's not a heart attack now. You've got your blood joined. Right. Holy moly. So we have to ask for these. We have to advocate for ourselves. And we have to train our husbands. So they know what to look for to do. It's troponin.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Oh wow. Yes. Then um, after surgery, while I was in ICU, my I continued to have the chest pain, continued to have the pain here, continued to have through the night, and they're drawing my blood like every hour, every 30 minutes. It seemed like constant, they're constantly drawing blood. By the next morning, 10 a.m., uh the cardiac surgeon came in, incredible surgeon, and he's looking at my tarps, and and the nurse came in and goes, This is what it's been at. Her blood pressure is stayed at 81 over 55. We can't seem to get that up. And then he looked at the last, he goes, When did you draw her blood? Well, here's this was just taken. My troponin level was at 22,000. Oh my gosh. And he goes, I'm bumping my surgery. I want her in the OR right now. So you went you went to one surgery and then another surgery. The second time they went in through my wrist. So when he went in that time, and again, I was awake through this, and he was telling me, talking to me, and he's like, Okay, the stint that I put in yesterday looks good. Um, everything looks good because I can't do the LAD. LAD is the other artery, the uh left anterior descending artery was the other one that had 80% blockage, and then there was a little branch off of that one's 80% blocked. Because I can't do that one because if I put anything else in you, your kidneys will fail, your liver will fail, and you won't make it. Oh my gosh. Yes, so we're gonna monitor you, but we need to get that fixed as soon as possible. But I want you to heal from this one. My heart was just it'd been through a lot because I had the heart attack, I had the surgery. I then had the thing here on my arm, it's like a clear band, a clear band, and then my hand was strapped to a device to keep my hands straight so I wouldn't bend my wrist. Um later that afternoon, this is just the next day, I uh suddenly developed two hematomas. So I had a grapefruit size one on my growing, and my arm doubled in size. Uh as soon as the nurse saw this, it's because she made me sit up in a chair and I should have been laying flat. Um soon as she saw this, she called the calf lab. About six or seven calf lab, the ladies that were there in surgery with me that morning came running up. One grabbed my arm, took the strap off, the plastic thing was still here, and she's massaging my arm. The other five or six were on my leg.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

Just pushing, pushing. The pain, I would have gladly had triplets without an epidural. Let's go through that again. Yeah. It was sorry. Traumatic screaming. My husband is staying there going, Can't you give her something? Yeah. They go, It's it's coming, we but we can't stop. We got to get this done now. They go, We're sorry, Miss Russell, we have to do this, or you'll lose your leg. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I go, yeah, keep doing that. Yes, yes. No, that's let me tell you. Oh my gosh. The the day that morning when I went in, including the first day of surgery, even though I had that twilight and I'm talking, I'm having intimate conversations with God. I I knew that he was there. Like I could feel him there. And the next day when I went in, and knowing that I was in so much pain and knowing that that I'd already had a heart attack, not knowing what else is going on, I laid there and I said, So this is the one, right? I said, This is the one where I get to go home.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Yeah.

Faith That Holds Through Trauma

SPEAKER_01 38:51

And so clearly, like you and I are talking right now. He said, It is not yet your time. Like your chapter in your book.

unknown 39:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

It is not yet your time. Oh, praise God. And I go, are you sure? And then you are talking.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

I know we are talking about this and letting you know things to watch for with a heart attack. But more than that, like you had him with you. Yeah. And we need our father. We need Jesus. We need the Holy Spirit, all one living in us to make it through. And there are gonna be times, gonna be, I hate to say that to you all, but there this is a hard world to walk through. And it is without our father holding us. I couldn't even imagine. Oh my god, my channel. So that's why we talk to you all. Because, like you need to know, he is our ever-present help, our ever-present help. He was right there with you, walking through that with you. He didn't leave you, he didn't forsake you. He was with those children. Yes, he was with the children in Kerville. He is with us through the grief. He is with us when we can't pay our pills or we don't have a job. Oh, yes. I mean, we have so many stories, right? Yes. We could just talk to you all day, but but I want you to know that our God loves us with this everlasting love that will never change. He will never not be by our side. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

To love God and to accept God is the freest, the easiest thing that you can do in your life. If you haven't done it yet, it is it is it is so freeing, and it is, and once he's uh in you, living in you, and people uh can see him through you, it is life-changing and it is it's so overwhelming at times, but uh but I'm I'm telling you, it is it's the easiest thing you can do. Is the easiest.

Invitation To Trust God

Closing Prayer For Listeners

SPEAKER_00 41:04

It feels like the hardest, and then when we just let go and ask him, it just changes everything. And so if you haven't trusted him to be your Lord and Savior, we just pray for you today that you would just turn to him because you need him. He created you, he's your creator. That's right. And when you're not choosing him, you're choosing the world who wants to kill still and destroy you. But he will never leave you or for say he will never, even when you haven't chosen him, he's like right there beside you, waiting on you to turn, waiting on you to turn. So, yeah. So I guess that's our advice, right? For uh these women that are out there is turn to him now. And if you have been following him, but you haven't just released yourself to love him with all your heart, to follow him and be who he created you to be holy. Um, I just encourage you today to do that. Just let go to trust him, let go, and God will take you through a lot of things. And one of these days, I'll be gone and Donna will be gone because we know where our home is. This is not our home. But right now, she has lots left to do. And you have to do that. And I'm thankful that one of the things she had left to do was speak out to you guys. So grateful to be here. Yeah, I'm grateful that you came. Father, I just pray that you would um see, let them see that you see each one of these women today. Let them feel you, let them hear your voice, open their ears to hear. Father, I thank you that uh we know you're our ever-present help in every moment, not just our times of need, but every moment. You're there in the rejoicing and you're there in the weeping. Uh, Father, for each one that listens today, I just ask that you would just overshadow them so completely with your presence that they would not doubt who you are and what you've done for them. Father, I just thank you that there are good reports coming for healings and deliverance uh in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.