S1E1: From Bitter to Better: Choosing Your Path When Life is a Jagoff

We explore the transformative power of choosing betterment over bitterness when life doesn't go as planned, featuring part of Sherry's personal journey of recovery from medical and other life events.

• Sherry shares how a series of small strokes affected her family life
• Learning to accept a new reality and choosing better over bitter
• How small daily actions compound into significant progress
• Practical strategies to combat bitterness including gratitude practices  
• Understanding neuroplasticity and how we can rewire our thoughts 
• The value of support systems and openly communicating

Choose better, not bitter. Keep going and growing. 

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to This Is It! The Podcast by Thriving Yinzers
• 1:00 One Part of Sherry's Story
• 3:16 Choosing Better Over Bitter
• 5:43 Small Steps Toward Recovery
• 7:52 Practical Ways to Stop Bitterness
• 10:05 Key Takeaways and Final Thoughts
• 11:05 About Thriving Yinzers Services

Transcript

Sherry: 0:00

Welcome to. This. Is it podcast by Thriving Yinzers. I'm Sherry

Jodi: 0:04

and I'm Jodi.

Jodi: 0:05

We're so glad you're here.

Sherry: 0:07

Life doesn't always go as planned, but we can choose how we respond and keep moving forward. Life can be really shitty at times, but the thing to remember is that when the hard times hit, we always have a choice Do we let the hard times make us bitter or do we find a way to get better? Today we're talking about that choice and how it plays out in everyday moments.

Jodi: 0:28

Yeah, it's helpful to remember. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can control what happens next. And, Sherry, you've been through some life-changing moments. Is this sentiment part of your story?

Sherry: 0:40

Honestly, yes, it was exactly the perspective that got me started healing after one of those crossroads.

Sherry: 0:46

I'm open to sharing some of my experiences in case someone is listening who can relate or can find something useful to take away from this episode.

Sherry: 0:55

Today, we're talking about turning bitterness into betterment, and this is part of my story. Like so many of us, I was going through life on autopilot, doing all the things, going through the motions and never really thinking about where I was heading. There had been a lot of personal, family and medical challenges that had been piling on, and I was just trying to get through the day-to-day raising four children in a non-traditional family situation, moving through grief and working full-time through a serious facial pain problem. But I thought, with all the things considered, that I was doing all right, and then everything came to a stop when I had a series of small strokes that affected my balance, slowed my cognitive processes, messed with my emotions and my memory, and, even though they were small, there were many and, due to the location and type, they really derailed life as I knew it at the time. Don't get me wrong. I definitely recognize that it could have been so much worse and I counted my blessings, but I still struggled with acceptance. I couldn't understand why, and I wanted someone to blame.

Jodi: 1:59

And this was right when your kids were at huge transitions.

Jodi: 2:03

You have one starting high school, one starting middle school and one starting elementary school, and your youngest starting kindergarten right?

Jodi: 2:10

Yes, it all started the weeks just before school was starting, and we all know how the start of the school year is already a hectic time of transition... Lots of moving parts and getting used to new schedules and routines. And this time I wasn't even home. When they started school that year I was still in the hospital. That was hard. When I did come home, I was just kind of there like a shell of myself. I really still don't have the right words to explain it. I was working through some home-based OT, pt and speech and later outpatient therapies, but I wasn't engaged the way I had always been, the way my family was used to. I definitely wasn't even close to functioning at the same capacity and, though I was grateful, that was still devastating to us as a family.

Jodi: 3:01

At the time, I felt scared and confused. My husband and kids were rattled, and so was I. I really began to realize what my life had become leading up to this incident and I was so angry and I really wanted to be bitter. I wanted to throw in the towel, I wanted to tell people off, but instead I had chosen better over bitter and I remembered my dad's words this is it, and I realized that the sooner I accepted reality and remembered how grateful I was that I was okay. I had a lot of work ahead of me, but I was okay. I was okay. It could have been so much worse and I chose to build on that perspective. I realized that getting angry was pointless and finding ways forward was my only choice.

Jodi: 3:52

Let's talk about that choice, because it wasn't an easy one. What did it actually look like to choose better?

Sherry: 3:59

In my case, it started with patience Patience with myself and teaching my family to be patient with me. Patience with myself and teaching my family to be patient with me, because my processes were slowed. The strokes caused enormous mood swings and an extremely short fuse that grew out of those frustrations, and that wasn't just hard on me, it was hard on everyone around me, but I had to recognize it, accept it and work on it.

Jodi: 4:24

And that's huge, because a lot of people get stuck in the frustration of how things used to be instead of working on where they are now.

Sherry: 4:32

Yeah, I was definitely there. But once I accepted the reality of it all, I also had to accept help. I had to wear a life alert for a short time because I was a fall risk. I wasn't allowed to be left alone. I couldn't drive, and for someone who had always been independent and capable, that was hard.

Sherry: 4:51

But instead of staying bitter about what I couldn't do, I eventually focused on what I could do to get better, and for the first time in a long time, I put my health first. I had no other choice but to take care of myself before anyone else, and I wasn't used to that. I wasn't used to depending on different people either, but I was grateful how each person showed up in my life to support me in ways that I didn't know how to ask for, but I definitely needed. And this gave me a deeper perspective of gratitude, which helped me to replace the bitterness I felt for all of the things that had been put on my plate before the strokes to my motivation to do everything in my control to get better. My family had already been through enough, and finger pointing and blaming wasn't going to do any good for any of us, so I chose to go in the direction of getting better instead.

Jodi: 5:43

And this is where the compounding effect of choices come in. We are going to be talking about that a lot on this podcast, because understanding that is a real game changer the little things you did every day added up right?

Sherry: 6:00

At first it was walking across the living room, then up and down the hall, then around my house and eventually walking longer distances without getting lightheaded or off balance. Later it was showing up to therapies, practicing patience, letting people help me, not giving up. Those little choices built momentum and over time, they created a path that led me to starting this podcast. I'm still working around some medical issues, but letting go of the bitterness was what gave me the space to begin to grow and find a new way forward, even if it was different from my old life.

Jodi: 6:33

And on the flip side, we know that bitterness compounds too. If you had let yourself stay in that frustration, it would have kept growing.

Sherry: 6:42

That's why mindset is everything. Bitterness keeps you stuck in the past, but choosing to get better, even in the smallest ways, opens up possibilities you can't even see yet. And that's why I'm sharing this part of my story now, even though it has been almost six years ago. It gave me such a changed perspective that I can potentially help someone, and if that is true, then it's worth sharing. But looking back on it now, I'm not stuck there anymore because I turned my bitterness into betterment, and you can too.

Sherry: 7:11

That being said, I don't mean to allude that there's any sort of easy button. It's not like you can just flick a switch, and each of our journeys are our own. But I do think that, no matter the struggle, it happens on your own timeline. But I don't know how possible it is to move forward through bitterness. I think that bitterness might be part of the process, but if you truly want to heal, it can't be the place where you stay. I think it sometimes feels like strength holding onto that anger, but over time it drains you and keeps you stuck. I think real healing can finally begin when we stop feeding that bitterness.

Jodi: 7:59

Let's talk about some practical ways people can stop bitterness before it takes root. What helped you?

Sherry: 8:04

One big thing was recognizing the signs... Resentment, playing the same negative thoughts, comparing my situation to others. And at some point, anytime I caught myself doing that, I started asking is this thought really making me better or is it keeping me bitter.

Jodi: 8:19

I love that. That's such a good filter. When I start to really feel bitter or resentful, I try to take a step back and ask myself where it's truly coming from. For me, switching the narrative to something to think about and ponder and question. Usually it takes my anger down a notch.

Jodi: 8:39

I also started and ended each day with gratitude, even when it felt silly. I remember the first days waking up in my own bed after spending eight days in and out of the hospital over a 12-day time span and I was literally so happy I just woke up. Bonus points for being in my own bed. I started saying, as a reminder, to capture that feeling "Every day you wake up is a good day. There's always going to be struggle and there will always be hard times to face, no matter what, but just finding one or two good things each day helped shift my perspective. And leaning on my support system talking things out instead of bottling them up made a huge difference.

Jodi: 9:19

Getting better isn't a one-time decision. It's a daily practice.

Sherry: 9:23

Yes, it's ongoing. As a former teacher, I knew about Carol Dweck's research on neuroplasticity, which shows that our brains are always adapting. We can literally rewire our thoughts over time. I used that research in the classroom to help my students trust themselves to learn math when it felt uncomfortable, and I applied it to my recovery process. Each small choice to move forward, every time we refuse to stay stuck or shaping the life we'll live five years from now.

Jodi: 9:56

So some final takeaways. If someone listening right now feels stuck in bitterness, there are things you can do to start shifting yourself from bitter to better. First asking yourself how do I get out of this? Not why did this happen to me, but how do I move forward? That question changes everything. Then asking yourself what is this trying to teach me? I find posing this question really helps take my anger and frustration down a notch.

Sherry: 10:24

Right and then, once you've reframed your thoughts, you can then channel it into your own self improvement and growth, using your bitterness as fuel to improve yourself, instead of staying stuck in negativity and then engaging in activities that build your skills, your health, your mindset, like exercise, journaling or learning something new. That's it.

Jodi: 10:45

You can't always choose what happens, but you can choose how you respond.

Sherry: 10:49

This is it. Choose better, not bitter, keep going and growing.

Jodi: 10:54

Thank you for joining us today. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone and remember every choice counts, so make the ones that move you forward.

Sherry: 11:05

We'll see you next time on the this Is it podcast with Thriving Yinzers. This is it. Yinz got this.

Sherry: 11:11

This podcast is a product of Thriving Yinzers LLC, a home services business that helps you reclaim your time and space. We conquer overwhelm by tackling your to-do list with services like organizational coaching, home decluttering, in-home laundry service and personalized lifestyle assistance. To learn more, visit us at thrivingyinzers. com. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to a trusted professional or crisis hotline in your area. Help is available 24-7 nationwide at the 988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS lifeline Dial 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor for free and confidential support. If you are local to the Pittsburgh area, Resolve Crisis Services offer 24-7 crisis intervention and stabilization services to all Allegheny County residents. Crisis intervention and stabilization services to all Allegheny County residents. You can reach them by calling 1-888-796-8226. If you are struggling with mental health, addiction, grief or any other serious personal challenges, we encourage you to seek support from a qualified professional. Okay, here comes the legalese, the oopsies and the yinzerese. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content shared is based on personal experiences and perspectives. Nothing shared on this podcast should be considered professional advice. Thriving Yinzers LLC, its hosts or any associated parties are not liable for any actions taken or consequences arising from the information provided... the views expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of any organizations or affiliations.

Sherry: 12:37

Today's lesson in yinzerese Jag off, J-A-G-O-F-F. Definition. A jerk Example- that guy who cut you off on the parkway. Total jag off off!!

Jodi: 12:58

I hope that calculus yeah, what's that?

Sherry: 13:07

well, it didn't record. Let me send okay and try again. Let Moose in Okay and try again. Hello, just kidding, you screwed it up. Just survive with RIZZ.