S1E3 Yinz on Autopilot? The Quiet Cost of Going Through the Motions

We explore the concept of autopilot—that feeling of going through the motions without being present and how to break free from this cycle before it leads to burnout.

• Autopilot sneaks up in small ways like driving somewhere with no memory of the journey
• Our brains default to habits and routines to conserve energy, especially during stress
• Warning signs include feeling constantly busy but making no meaningful progress
• Small, intentional disruptions can break the cycle—meditation, planning, or pausing before reacting
• Being present in little moments makes your whole life feel more alive
• The body keeps score. Ignoring signals to slow down often leads to physical manifestations
• Autopilot and burnout are closely linked in a self-perpetuating cycle
• Breaking free involves awareness, creating space for rest, and reconnecting with values

Email us at typghpod@gmail.com or fill out the contact form at thrivingyensers.com to share your story about getting through tough times. Join us for our next bonus episode featuring certified life coach Valerie Pedigo discussing burnout awareness and recovery strategies.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing This Is It Podcast
• 1:03 Understanding Autopilot Mode
• 2:11 Why We Slip Into Autopilot
• 7:23 Recognizing You're on Autopilot
• 13:15 Breaking the Cycle
• 16:33 The Autopilot-Burnout Connection
• 19:24 Episode Wrap-up and Resources

Transcript

Sherry: 0:00

All right. This is it the podcast by Thriving Yenzers where we talk about tools for building resilience, conquering overwhelm and creating a life that feels good. I'm Sherry.

Sherry: 0:17

and before we get started today, we want to hear your story. Have you pushed through something hard loss, ahead. illness, a major curveball and made it to the other side? Or even if you're still figuring it out? Your experience matters and someone out there could be helped by hearing it. We're inviting real stories from real yinzers and beyond about getting through the tough stuff. You can come on the show and share it in your own words or, if you'd rather stay behind the scenes, we'll tell your story anonymously, with care and heart. Email us at typghpod at gmailcom or fill out the contact form at thrivingyenserscom, because this podcast is about all of us and the strength it takes to keep going.

Sherry: 1:02

Today we're talking about something that a lot of people don't even realize they're dealing with running on autopilot, that feeling of just going through the motions and getting through the day without really being present.

Jodi: 1:14

Yeah, it's place where you're constantly busy but you don't really feel like you're doing anything. We're going to dive into why that happens, how to recognize if you're stuck there and, most importantly, how to break free and really wake up. So

Jodi: 1:29

It can sneak up on you. For me, it shows up in small ways, like when I pull into the parking lot and I don't have any memory of the drive or even how I got there, or when I'm really busy all day long and I can't recall by the end of the day what I did long and I can't recall by the end of the day what I did. Sometimes I can't even decide what I want for dinner because I'm so drained I can't even think about what I want and I don't even remember what things I like. It's like going through the motions but you're not really present in any of it. Oh yeah, I think we all know that feeling on some level. It's just hard to realize it when you are in it.

Sherry: 2:03

For me, it wasn't until I experienced it in different contexts that helped me to see that I needed to do better for myself and for the people around me. I was a pedal to the metal on autopilot, you know, just going through the motions of daily life and not really thinking about much else other than making it through the day and back to bed just to wake up and do it all again the next day. Like so many of us, I was momming so hard and sistering so hard and daughtering so hard and wifing and teaching so hard and being a fixer. I was saying yes to everything and just thinking I could plow ahead and take on more and more, and I took on some really really hard things that I'm not ready to talk about here yet. But when I look back on it, I realize so much about how autopilot carried me through and about how, when you're in go mode, all the time adding more layers, pushing through, barely catching your breath life starts sending you quiet signals to slow down. But when you're on autopilot, you don't pay attention to that. We just ignore those whispers. But the problem is, if you don't listen when life is whispering to you to slow down, it will eventually scream, and for a lot of us, that scream shows up in our health, which is what happened with me in the form of a medical event that forced me to not just slow down but stop and then slowly get back into it. And then autopilot became just getting through the basics. But even after I got stronger, I realized that I was still stuck in that same routine Wake up, go through the motions, rest, repeat, without ever really checking in with what would make the day count, not just go by. I think there's a big difference between hustling through a to-do list and actually showing up for what matters. One keeps you busy and the other keeps you present and moves you forward, and I think that's the tricky part.

Jodi: 3:58

Autopilot isn't always bad. As psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains, our brains are wired to be efficient. We're built to default to habits and routines because it saves energy. That's why autopilot kicks in so easily. It helps us function when life is overwhelming. But if we stay there too long we miss out on actually living. When that happens is when I find myself wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life.

Sherry: 4:23

That's when I know that it's time to slow down and move through the day like it actually matters, because it does. Every choice, every moment, it all adds up to a life that I'm actually living and feeling, not just surviving through. I'm really not much of a journaling person and I know that's really highly recommended and I did find benefit to it during my recovery. I'd like to get back to it, but it was part of my process to track my memories by journaling, because I couldn't remember what I did an hour ago, so I had to keep track of those things. But what I learned through that experience came to me on the day that I was, I guess, particularly frustrated, and I remember the day that I wrote that I didn't survive this to just exist, which is what I felt like at the time because, truthfully, I was feeling really stuck. I wasn't sure where I fit back into life. I was lonely, I was clearly starting to fall into a pattern of self-pity, frustration and anger, and I had a moment where it made me realize that no one was going to come put my life back together for me, and that was when I got clear about changing the path I was on, disrupting autopilot and really getting my shit together, and that was when I made the decision to choose better over bitter and be deliberate about finding joy in big and small ways every day. I understood that it was a time to stop trying to get back to the old life that was really no longer meant for me and taking steps towards one that was. It didn't matter that I had zero clue what that would be. What was important was that I recognized that being stuck in the cycle of autopilot was a big part of what sidelined me in the first place, and so I was determined to get to a life that felt good, even while going through a tough time. I knew that this is it and I was merely existing, and once I realized that, I was determined to get out of that cycle, keep getting better and do something more, and I guess that's kind of how Thriving Answers eventually came to be, though I didn't know it yet at that time.

Jodi: 6:29

So why did we slip into autopilot at that time? So why do we slip into autopilot?

Sherry: 6:35

Our brains are built for efficiency, and that's part of why we fall into autopilot without realizing it. I think you mentioned that earlier. The routines and habits that we create are how our brains conserve energy, and when life gets hard whether it's the really hard stuff like loss or trauma, or even parenting, or just the constant overwhelm of everyday life the brain will default to whatever is easiest.

Jodi: 6:56

Yeah, especially when you're already stretched thin, because staying safe feels easier than facing what might hurt or stretch us too much. But what starts as a coping mechanism can turn into a way of life if you're not careful.

Sherry: 7:08

You can't pour from an empty cup. It's said over and over, but it's true. And if you don't start listening when your body's trying to tell you, it will just show up and shut everything down. Anyway, you have to take care of yourself. So how do we recognize this? Yeah, how do you even recognize you're on autopilot, because sometimes that's not easy to do.

Sherry: 7:29

It sneaks in, like driving somewhere and don't remember the ride, reaching for your phone the second that there's silence, saying I'm fine when you're anything but. And it happens when bigger things are wearing on you too, like ignoring the thing that's been on your heart. Or maybe it's saying yes to things that you don't have the capacity for anymore, just because you always have, and before you know it, weeks or months have gone by and you're wondering why you feel so disconnected. For me, the biggest sign is when I can't remember what I did all week, like the days just blur together and I'm constantly busy. I feel like I'm constantly busy but I'm not really making progress on anything that matters to me, and by the end of the week I just I feel like I have. I don't know what I've done. I feel empty and kind of just there. Just there, yep, I think you're talking about that like numbness, yeah, yeah, yep, it's. It's like a numb feeling where you're not really sad, you're not really anxious, but it's just kind of flat, like watching my own life happen instead of actually participating in it.

Jodi: 8:34

Yeah, and I think a lot of people feel that way and don't even realize that there's anything they can actually do.

Jodi: 8:39

So how do we wake up to life and really flip that switch?

Sherry: 8:44

It's not as easy as flipping the switch, but there is something you can do about it and you don't have to overhaul your whole life. One of the first things that helped me was starting to ask myself what can I do today to grow? The tagline of Thriving Insers is go and grow with us, and that came from these moments in my life where I realized that it was, yes, it was about resilience and getting back up again, but what it really was about on a deeper level is that need to grow and make a difference. Right, so it wasn't just the mundane stuff that's always waiting to get done. It was what will move me forward and help me show up with more purpose.

Jodi: 9:26

,

Sherry: 9:28

yeah, and later that developed into living with intention and realizing all the little things that we do day in and day out matter.

Jodi: 9:38

Absolutely. For me. My small intentional habit the thing that I realized is so simple that has made the biggest difference was taking those five minutes in the morning and just doing a really quick meditation. It's a way to settle myself and kind of think about my tone for the day. And also, you know, journaling is great. I want to do it more myself and I try to do it. But even beyond journaling like when I get to work in the morning sitting down with a calendar in front of me and kind of going over my to-do list for the entire day and thinking about what I need to get done and if maybe I try to squeeze something in, figure out the things that are the most important that kind of shifts me into making sure that I'm thinking about what I'm doing instead of just coasting and shifting into autopilot and reacting to everything as it comes up.

Sherry: 10:28

I actually I want to talk about that a lot more on the podcast, maybe in a future episode about how being intentional helps you to kind of train yourself in a mindset that you set yourself up to be able to respond to the events that pop up throughout your life rather than reacting. That itself is a big time way to show up to your day with intention. A big time way to show up to your day with intention. Yes, it's like building awareness, and the more you do it, the easier it gets to choose how you move through your day instead of constantly reacting. Yeah, like see how many times your instinct is to impulsively react to events that occur, react to people that you encounter. Oh, 100 percent, when you put it in your mind that you want to focus on that for a day and just to see how many times that pops up, like we're just reactive, sure. And to give yourself that space to, like you said, set yourself up to be able to think about, let something sit and give yourself time to process. Yeah, give yourself time to process things before we're reacting, sure, especially now where the headlines change every 30 seconds, you're ready to.

Jodi: 11:34

I can honestly say I used to be very reactionary earlier in my life and it's something that I have worked on and something I'm actually proud of, because I'm much, much less likely to instantly react and sometimes I know I frustrate people and I know that there's times when things come up I take a step back, I'm not going to answer, I need to go shut the door, I'm going to back off, and I know it's frustrating, but it's for me. Personally, it has saved me a lot of me losing my shit, and so now I really try to refuse to react. Even if somebody is trying real hard to promote me, nine times out of ten you're just not going to get a response. I can't do it.

Sherry: 12:18

Yeah, and I mean they will get a response, but you'll get a more thoughtful,

Jodi: 12:22

exactly

Sherry: 12:23

Meaningful response. I don't feel like a better me, you know like I feel like a better person if I just don't react and then I come back and say I've had some time to think yeah, right, it makes for better communication, which is, you know, in relationships. If there's not good communication, there's a yeah, then there's a problem. I mean the communication is key, right, it just is. We have to learn to communicate with each other. But reacting without thinking isn't really communicating well, and taking a pause actually protects relationships by making sure that you're responding from a calm and grounded place, not because you're triggered, which could be a whole other episode. Yeah right, I think we're off on a tangent here and I think it's important to talk about it. So what's the difference, right?

Jodi: 13:13

So I think, like now, it's probably a good time to talk about building that life that you're awake for, so that we can get better about listening to understand and respond versus react and attack.

Jodi: 13:17

So back to autopilot. It's not always a bad thing. We just can't stay there. It's how habits work. But there's a difference between intentional routines that support your life and the mindless routines that just kind of carry us through the day. It feels like you can't stop, even though stopping is exactly what you need. And it's true what they say the body keeps the score. You can only keep it up for so long before it shows up in physical presentations that literally will force you to break that cycle, because the only way to really break the cycle is interrupting autopilot, and that often comes from some big life event forcing you to break that cycle. But it can happen by teaching yourself to become aware of when you're running on autopilot and creating that space for rest to reflect, to be more intentional about the decisions that we make day to day, and that creates the space for you to reconnect with your values and your purpose.

Jodi: 14:18

So Autopilot is really survival mode, and burnout is what happens when you stay there too long. And the best way to tell the difference is to check in with yourself right here, ask yourself is it working? Is this working? Is this what I want? If not, what's one small shift that I can make right now? And I know we're saying this all the time, but it really is the small choices that wake you back up. The more present you are in the little moments of the day, the more alive your whole life starts to feel, and I feel like I should say that again because it's such an important takeaway the more present you are in the little moments, the more alive your whole life starts to feel and to be fully present. We're going to have to be intentional about putting our phones down and really being present with our kids or whoever's important in your life who is right in front of you.

Jodi: 15:07

It's so easy to get distracted, but those moments are too important to miss. Last week, just at the bus stop, my daughter was out of the car. I was watching a reel on my phone just waiting for the bus, and it was one of those about how fast childhood goes by. You know, the days are long but the years are short, kind of thing, and it hit hard, especially with my son graduating this year. But I was so pulled into it that I didn't even notice my fifth grader standing at the car window being goofy, trying to get my attention. I was literally missing the moment while watching a video about missing the moment, while watching a video about missing the moment. So thankfully, though, because I built that awareness of myself, it helped me catch myself, and in that moment, what mattered most was that she didn't have to see me choose a screen over her, and I'm just glad that I caught myself. So, again, she didn't have to wonder if I'd rather be looking at my phone than sharing that silly moment with her. And it's good that you caught it. And we're human, that's going to happen. We're all going to have those moments, but I think that the more you catch yourself, the more you catch yourself. Yep. And the thing is, the little moments like that. They're there every day, but we have to slow down enough to notice them, we have to give ourselves permission to be in them, and that means disrupting our patterns of being on autopilot all the time.

Jodi: 16:33

Autopilot and burnout are closely linked. When autopilot becomes chronic, it leads to burnout. If you stay there too long, you're ignoring the signals that your body and your mind are trying to send you and you end up exhausted, irritable, detached. Autopilot is a coping mechanism for overwhelm. When you're overwhelmed mentally, emotionally, physically you might switch to autopilot just to get through the day, which means that you're going through the motions without intention or presence. You're reacting, you're checking boxes, you're not checking in with yourself, and that can help in the short term during times of crisis, but over time it disconnects you. You lose touch with the things that energize or fulfill you. You push yourself past your limits without realizing it and then eventually you crash and burn and once you've achieved burnout, you are stuck on autopilot. You don't have any energy to be intentional or reflective about how your life is going. You rely even more heavily on autopilot to function because you're just trying to get through the freaking day and doing all the things.

Jodi: 17:36

So my hope is that we can get better at listening when life sends you those quiet signals to slow the F down. Start practicing giving ourselves pause and remembering that you don quiet signals to slow the F down, start practicing, giving ourselves pause and remembering that you don't have to prove your worth through exhaustion. You have to take care of yourself. So breaking the cycle means interrupting autopilot and recovering from burnout, or preventing it, really involves becoming aware of when you're there, creating space for rest, reflection, becoming aware of when you're there, creating space for rest, reflection and intentional decisions, and reconnecting with your values. Do you want help identifying signs of autopilot in your own life or creating a strategy to interrupt it? We are happy to have Valerie Pettigo coming on, who is a certified life coach, human design reader and co-founder of Renewed Spirit Adventures. She helps women conquer burnout, reconnect with their purpose and find healing through an intentional community, so we're excited to have her on in our next bonus episode to talk to us about burnout. Absolutely so.

Jodi: 18:38

If you're listening and realizing you've been coasting on autopilot, first of all, it happens. It happens to everyone. The trick is to notice it, and then one small choice at a time. That's how we start to wake up and reconnect and make the choice to put your phone down some and be present with the people that you love. This is it, so squeeze out all those moments of connection with the ones that you love while you still can, and we'd love for you to tell us about your experience. What's your reset? How do you get out of autopilot and be present in your life? What's one small choice you can make today to break the routine? Share it with us on socials or in a review, because those little choices add up and we genuinely care to hear your stories. We'll see you next time You've got this. That's it for today. If something here spoke to you, please take a second to make sure you are following the show in your favorite podcast platform. Leave us a rating or a quick review and share it with some friends and family. Every follow and review helps us reach more people. This is it Make it happen.

Jodi: 19:39

This podcast is a product of Thriving Yinsers LLC. A home services business that helps you reclaim your time and space. We conquer overwhelm by tackling your to-do list with services like organizational coaching, home decluttering, in-home laundry service and personalized lifestyle assistance. To learn more, visit us at thrivingyenzerscom. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to a trusted professional or crisis hotline in your area. Help is available 24-7, nationwide at the 988-SUICIDE-IN-CRISIS lifeline Dial 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor for free and confidential support. If you are local to the Pittsburgh area, resolve Crisis Services offer 24-7 crisis intervention and stabilization services to all Allegheny County residents. You can reach them by calling 1-888-796-8226. If you are struggling with mental health, addiction, grief or any other serious personal challenges, we encourage you to seek support from a qualified professional.

Jodi: 20:34

Okay, here comes the legalese, the oopsies and the yinzerese. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content shared is based on personal experiences and perspectives. Nothing shared on this podcast should be considered professional advice. Thriving Yenzer's LLC, its hosts or any associated parties are not liable for any actions taken or consequences arising from the information provided. The views expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of any organizations or affiliations.

Jodi: 21:01

Today's lesson in Yenzeriz. Today's lesson in Yenziriz is one that really shows your Pittsburgh roots Downtown. It's how we say downtown around here. Quick, familiar and straight from the heart. It's part of everyday life. The word might sound funny to outsiders, but to us it feels like home. Got a favorite downtown memory or spot? We'd love to hear it. Share your story by emailing typghpod at gmailcom or fill out the contact form at thrivinginserscom. We might feature it on the show, because your voice is part of what makes this city shine, because life isn't perfect, and neither are we.

Jodi: 21:54

Here's the shit that didn't make the cut. Hey, jody, I don't think that was bad because I'm working. Yeah, although this is weird, this is weird. This is not the. Oh, we're not recording. I just gotta remember to push that thing. I think, right, that thing. What's that doing? I don't know what that is. I can't figure it out either. I gotta find the instructions thing. What's this blinking? It won't stop blinking. Okay, that's the one thing that we accomplished today was to figure out the red button. Okay, I feel like just completely idiot. All right, how are we here again? I guess we're ready. I'm not ready. I feel weird. Are you? You good? I'm good. Okay, let's get started. Welcome to the. This Is it. I'm so tired Downtown. It's a Pittsburgh thing.