Naming Clarksville's Roundabouts After Famous Movie Villains

In this episode of Clarksville Insider, host Josh Atkins dives into the chaotic charm of Clarksville’s growing collection of roundabouts—those circular puzzles that promise smoother traffic but often deliver confusion, panic, and endless loops. Drawing clever parallels to iconic movie villains, Josh explores how these traffic circles mirror characters known for madness, manipulation, chaos, and a twisted sense of balance. With humor and insight, he makes the case for giving each roundabout a fittingly dramatic name—and maybe a little cinematic flair. Buckle up as we navigate traffic nightmares, movie metaphors, and the local roads that have drivers questioning their life choices.

Transcript

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Welcome back to another episode of Clarksville Insider podcast that dives into everything Clarksville from local events, hidden gems to navigating city changes that have everyone talking. I'm your host, Josh Atkins, like the diet. And today we're talking about chaos, confusion, traffic jams, maybe a little madness, just a little bit. And Yes, we're talking about the newest and dare I say most controversial additions to Clarksville infrastructure roundabouts. Now, quick side note, I mentioned roundabouts in my previous beginner's guide to driving in Clarksville. Just something to think about, something to avoid, just a little segment. Well today, we're getting into it. We are all the way in and... Got some ideas that I think you'll like, but if you've been anywhere near Warfield, or you've slid over to Ted Crozier for a peek, you likely had the pleasure or misfortune of meeting Rhonda the roundabout. Remember I mentioned that for anybody outside of town, we had a roundabout added to our town a little bit ago, and it was such a disaster when it first opened that we renamed it. It was a big thing. so we are actually... dealing with and working through and hopefully learning from together. And what she does, she, Rhonda, that's the name that we gave her, is lures you in with a promise of improved traffic flow and fewer accidents. But you take one wrong exit or worse, miss your turn entirely. And just think of Chevy Chase and European Vacation going around and around. Hey, there's Big Ben going around again. When you missed your turn, suddenly you're like Frodo lost in Mordor or Jack Nicholson wandering through the hedge maze in The Shining. And that right there is what we're talking about today. What inspired today's episode because as Clarksville adds another roundabout on Dunlop and Rollo, our lovely city's version of traffic-themed cinematic universe, I propose rather than just using ours because they sound fine. Rhonda, Raymond, who knows? Here's another thing. I propose we name our Rhonda Bouts after famous movie villains. Famous movie villains. So I came up with four, and these are not chat GPT. These are not me just typing in. I've got the handwritten notes to prove it. These are off of the top of my head, my four movie villains to name the next four roundabouts after or the next one and we just flip a coin and do a little whatever. Here we go. Number one, Jack Torrance from The Shining. Now our first candidate for roundabout villainy, Jack Torrance from The Shining. Now hear me out. Jack starts his journey with the best intentions, brings his family to the Overlook Hotel with the promise of a quiet new start, some writing. Kinda like how city planners pitch roundabouts. Less conjection. Conjection. Less congestion. Fewer red lights. A serene drive. But as Jack spends more time at the hotel, isolated, confused, lost, he unravels. Just like the first time we're entering a roundabout thinking, I've got this. Gliding in confidently. Maybe they even wave in a pedestrian. Hey, look at me. I'm doing it. After the first missed exit, hope disappears, panic sets in, cars are flying past them on the inside, no one's letting them out, they're circling like Jack with the axe, here's Johnny trying to find a way to escape. Clarksville's roundabouts, where every hopeful entry risks a psychological breakdown. Number two, the second movie villain. Bill Lumberg from Office Space, villain number two. You know him. You've heard him, the soul-crushing TPS report demanding boss who oozes mediocrity, slowing, slowly killing your spirit with every nasal coffee cup. Yeah. He's not dangerous in a traditional sense. He's dangerous because of what he represents. frustration, repetition, helplessness. That's what a roundabout becomes to those who choose avoidance. People in Clarksville are rerouting their lives to dodge these things. They're waking up earlier, taking detours, even selling their homes. Maybe just to move out of Rhonda's gravitational pull and we're going to put another one right on the other part of town. Remember Peter? Remember when he's in the movies? Losing he's losing his time because he's trying to get things done. He's shutting his computer down Milton's over there talking and he's almost out of there and Right in front of him. Hey Peter Man sucked into Saturday work Roundabout doesn't chase you with an axe. Just sits there like Lumberg slowly making his way waiting for you to mess up on your merge and yeah I'm gonna need you to go ahead and circle back around Yeah Peter what's happening? It's just like that villain all-time villain number two Bill Lumberg number three This is kind of an easy one. This was the first one I thought of. Joker. The Dark Knight. Okay, the agent of chaos himself. even says it in the movie. Some men just want to watch the world burn. This is how they describe him. This is how Alfred tells the story of the forest in the jungle and ends it by saying, some men just want to watch the world burn. Others want to install roundabouts in mid-sized southern towns where the only circle people understand is the one at Sonic. It's more of an oval as you're going through the drive-through and popping out the other side. You can paint arrows. You can post signs. But once that traffic starts flowing, all bets are off. It's Gotham out there. Even from the first one, from Batman Begins, it is wild. Horns are honking. Minivan in the motorcycle lane, if we even have a motorcycle lane. Someone's reversing because they missed the Kroger exit. They're trying to get to the hospital. They're trying to get to who knows where, and they don't know which way is up. It's not about rules anymore. And this is why it's... Joker thing. It's about survival chaos reigns. It's the two boats sitting there at a standoff Because like the Joker, chaos reigns. These roundabouts don't want order. They feed on confusion. They invite anarchy. I'm not sure if they really do, but it feels like it, doesn't it? It feels like it. And you think you know the system, but the moment you enter it all unravels. Your GPS reroutes six times because it's giving you all four options as you go around. Someone's cutting you off. Your kids in the back seat yelling, we passed Chick-fil-A again. I thought we were going to church. It's right there. You can see it. Here we go again. agent of chaos. Number three, the Joker for the roundabout. And number four, I only have four here. We are ripping through these. Number four, our final villain, Thanos. Thanos from the Avengers movies, the mad titan himself, the philosopher warlord, the guy who said, you know what would really fix things? If y'all Half of y'all, you guys are good. You have, you're fine. You have, you disappeared. You know what would be great if half of everything that was existing disappeared, ceased to exist. And like Thanos, okay, follow me on this. Like Thanos, roundabouts are born of intention. They come out of the best intentions. Balance, efficiency, sustainability. Movement of traffic it all sounds great on paper. It looks great in little animations showing the arrows that go around and Even in other cities other countries where it works say look at this It can work over here. It can work here. Look at how it works over there the execution, how it actually comes into play, that balance, that seemingly well-intentioned plan turns into disaster, turns brutal with one snap of the finger. And one snap of the traffic engineers fingers, whoever's in charge against city plan, whoever, and suddenly half the cars on Walmart, Rudolph are trapped in an infinite loop, an infinity loop, if you will, an infinity gauntlet. See what I'm doing here. Some are stuck yielding forever looking over their shoulder. Is this the, Oh, no. What about, no, no. You got others whipping around like Daytona 500 somewhere a civic is on fire. and no one knows how it got there. Roundabouts are the infinity gauntlet of traffic design. Full of promise. But at what cost? But at what cost? So what do we name the next roundabout? What do we name the next roundabout? Rhonda got us started, but I think now we've got some options. Now we can really make a difference with our choices. And my first four options, again, aren't R words. I got jacked around about. the Lumberg Loop and This is because I love alliteration. I love when the words The first letter of each word starts the same. So of course you can guess that's what we're doing Jack Around about the Lumberg Loop. That's probably my favorite Joker Junction or the Thanos turnabout. So those are my four Jack Torrance from the Shining Bill Lumberg from office space the Joker or Thanos Maybe we can have a vote. Maybe we could make it official. Because if Clarksville is going to be keeping these roundabouts, keep building more, we're going to have to name more. So we might as well start and give them the names that they've earned and that they will earn in the future. because they are villains in our town. and must be dealt with accordingly. Now, thanks. Thanks for joining me. Thanks for coming along on that mental exercise, mental gymnastics, if you will. I imagine it came off a little unhinged, and if you're not a movie person, you're like, okay, Bill, who? Why was he talking like that? so forgive me. Give me some grace. Allow me to live within this universe and expand on my half-brained ideas. And so if you have a villain, how about this? If you have a villain that you think we should name the roundabout after, you're like, okay, it's gotta be this because this. Feel free to share it, send it via DM on the Instagram that we've got, Clarksville Insider. Drop a message, comment. You can find me if you're friends with me on Facebook or any of kind of stuff. And remember, whether you're facing Thanos level traffic or just trying to escape Joker Junction with your sanity or half your face intact, you know, we're all in this together. And I know personally, and I mentioned this on my other one, I know that roundabouts are good. I don't mind them. I like them for what they promise and what they can be. But what they actually bring in those first 12 months, six to 12 months, is what inspired this. And so until next time, stay safe Clarksville and maybe, maybe just take the long way around.