How to Communicate Well—Personally, at Work, and as a Leader

How to Communicate Well—Personally, at Work, and as a Leader

Download your free How to Communicate Well in all areas of life Toolkit: https://jonathanhankin.com/?msopen=/content-library/node/how-to-communicate-well

In this episode, I dive into the critical role of effective communication in leadership. Highlighting how superior communication skills can help navigate tough conversations, build relationships, and lead teams through change. We then break down essential considerations for improving communication, such as understanding your audience, listening to understand rather than respond, and avoiding common communication pitfalls.

I then conclude with actionable strategies specifically tailored for workplace and leadership contexts, emphasizing clarity, correct use of media, and reflective listening. I also offer you a free toolkit to help you implement these communication strategies effectively.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why communication is about what they hear, not just what you say

• How to listen to understand, not just respond

• Simple frameworks for giving feedback and improving team communication

• Tips to communicate with more clarity and confidence at work and at home

If you’re ready to strengthen your influence, build deeper trust, and communicate like a leader—this episode is for you.

▶️    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/3P44K0mvKWk

▶️ Work with me 1-on1: https://jonathanhankin.com/contact 

▶️ Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Effective Communication

00:59 Understanding Communication: It's Not Just What You Say

04:08 Listening to Understand: The Key to Effective Communication

07:31 Common Communication Pitfalls to Avoid

11:35 Practical Tips for Workplace Communication

13:20 Leadership Communication: Casting Vision and Giving Feedback

14:39 Action Steps to Improve Your Communication

15:03 Conclusion and Free Toolkit Offer

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Transcript

 Hey everyone, and welcome back to another leadership episode. Today we're talking about one of the   most important. Leadership and I think life skills that we can all build, which is better communication, whether you're navigating a tough conversation at work, building better relationships at home, or trying to lead a team through a tough change.

 How you communicate can make or break your influence. So in this episode, I'm gonna break down how to have a better mindset, how to implement these skills that you need, and how to communicate with clarity, empathy, and with leadership personally and professionally.  Just as reminder as we jump in, I do post daily leadership tips, quotes, book Recommendations.

On my YouTube post tab.  So check that out. So as we jump in, we're gonna cover three considerations that you should maybe consider as you want to grow and develop your communication better. And then two specific ways to implement that as a leader. And with your team.   So consideration one is communication is not just what you say.

It's also what people hear and believe what you said.  So let's start with this. Communication is not just about getting your point across. It's also about connection. If you've ever explained something clearly, but the other person doesn't understand, it's not necessarily because you weren't smart or articulate, or you fill in the blank.

Many times it's because communication happens at the listeners, in the listener's mind, not just the speaker's mouth. Just because we're communicating well doesn't equal, they understand well, this means effective communication starts with awareness.   So three things to be aware of. One. Who am I speaking to?

Are they up to speed on what I know? Are we at the same level? Is this the first time that they're hearing about this? That means it's gonna take a lot more time to fill them in. If this is several conversations in, are we still on the same page, or is there additional information that they might have or.

Or that I have, we just want to clarify that. Clarify that information.   Second, what are they feeling and thinking? Now, we can't read their minds as much as that might be nice or bad, but we can remember history. So in other words, was this a hot topic the last time? That we talked or did it, was it a trigger point for them?

Has something recently happened that will affect their perspective? And I don't mean necessarily deep things, but you know, do they actually have 10 other deadlines that are happening? Is this just another one that's being added to them? Are they gonna have mental capacity to process? Did they just get out of out of a meeting?

In other words, this is the timing, right? We want to consider the timing. Is it the end of the day and they have three minutes left, they're trying to leave or they just walk in and drop off their keys and they're trying to get settled in. In other words, is it, is it really the right time? This is all tied to being aware of them, not just your need to have information.

  And the third one, what do they actually need from me right now? I think that's key. We wanna tee is this, in other words, are we team this up for a future conversation or do we have to have it now? So. Do we actually realize this isn't the right time? So I want to tee it up and say, Hey, I want to cover a topic with you, whatever topic that is.

If now's not the right time, can we schedule a meeting, say by Friday at three o'clock to discuss this a heads up? Um, that's something that needs to be, they're meeting attention. So maybe just giving them a heads up like, Hey, I want you to be aware of this. Are you up to speed on X point in the process?

Great. I have some new additional information. Or let's take a few steps back because I think you're missing some information.  Again, just that clarity on aware awareness with them. Whether you're a parent, a partner, a team leader, your words have to meet people where they are, not just where you are. It's easy.

I know for me to just want to share information and assumed they're up to speed. Let's go. Uh, that many times is just not true. Once you've tuned into the other person's world, the next step can be even harder though, but more powerful. And that is listening to understand. So let's go to that consideration.

Number two is, listen first, speak second. We've all heard this, but what does that actually mean? Well, here's the number one mistake I see, even with high level leaders. We listen to respond not to understand.  I see this and I've done this myself, um, when someone else is talking, so I've been guilty. My mouth is actually open, ready to respond, or it's partially open.

If you watch some of my interviews, I've actually caught myself doing this on interviews. People are talking and I want to respond, and it's like, actually, I just need to listen and engage with them. Fortunately, I now catch myself doing this more. And I pause at that. Now, this doesn't mean that you need to stand there for 20 minutes or sit there for 20 minutes, um, listening to information you already know.

That's, that's not practical. What it does mean is if you listen to understand, you can quickly understand that I'm already up to speed on this, and then you can stop and clarify. Again, true communication starts with listening. So here's how, here's some ideas. To do it. Well, I'm gonna give you a couple of them.



 Um, three, I believe three ways. Yeah. To do it well. One is reflective listening. So in other words, you hearing, you're hearing what they're saying and you wanna do reflective listening, you can respond in a couple ways. One way I do it is what I hear you saying is. And then let them confirm it. In other words, if you just say, what I hear you saying is, and you keep on going, that that's not reflective listening, but in the situation, um, I said like, for standing there for 20 minutes, you don't wanna do that.

This is an example where you could use reflective listening and save time. What I hear you saying is, and if they say yes, then you can simply come back with, well, you may not be aware, but I'm up to speed on that. So is there anything new past. X point.

  Another option is stay curious. Another. You can do that by asking, can you tell me more about that?

Instead of jumping in with a fix, like they give you a problem or they give you an idea and you give your thoughts or your solutions, dive deeper. Be curious. Can you tell me more about that? The key here is dialogue, not just to keep the conversation going. We don't want that. If you're not truly interested, then don't fake it.

However, if you are engaged and there's a very high chance that you will connect and learn, this is paid off dividends for me. People have talked to me about a topic. I assume that I know what they're talking about, and when I push back a little bit nicely and say, you know, hey. Tell me more about that.

And they do. It really highlights. I'm not on the same page. So take the time. Listen, let them do, this will save you a lot of time. It's cost me, so I'm trying to help you out here.

 Number three, pause before speaking. I've gone over this a lot in different episodes. Um, that two to three second pause helps you avoid reacting out of emotion.

I think this is hard for everyone, but it really does help even a simple nod. Is enough of reaction can give you time to think. Also, don't fall into the trap that you must have an answer for everything. I know newer leaders fall into that trap and then also ex experienced leaders fall into that. The new leaders fall into it because like, oh, they're gonna think I don't know how to lead, but I don't have an answer.

Wrong. Experienced leaders think, oh, I am at the top. I know everything. Wrong. So have a, have a check there with where you are.



 Consideration three, four communication pitfalls to avoid, let's hit some of the most common traps that derail good communication.   One. Assumptions. We can't assume someone's tone, intent, or meaning, especially over text or email, I mean.

You just can't clarify. Instead, can I check with what you meant by that? It, it's a simple question, but what did you actually mean? I mean, what, what do you mean by that? I did a video on the assumption ladder. You can watch that. It's helped me so much. It's a quick episode, but the point of that is are you basing what you're assuming on facts?

Or on observations.  Now, your observations may be facts. They're facts that you saw it, but you're, they're based through a filter of assumptions and you want to base your assumptions on facts, not just what you've seen.   The next one is vagueness. Avoid timelines like soon or later. Or can you get that to me sometime in the near future?

Uh, that just doesn't work. Be specific.  Can you have that to me by Friday at noon? This one has tripped me up for so many years in business and personally, actually, I would say not being vague to help me stop micromanaging in business and helped me communicate better with my wife. Because I don't have to nag.

People have already agreed when things are going to be due, when they're going to report in. I know when people are gonna check in. I know when I can check in. If I don't hear anything back by Friday at noon, for example, Friday at three o'clock, I can say, Hey. We agreed at noon what's going on? Could you gimme an update on that?

It's natural versus I wanna check in, but I don't wanna make them feel like I'm micromanaging. This has can really save you some time, stress, and build trust.   The next one is emotional leading. Emotional leading in the message. What I mean by that, if you're frustrated, your tone can sabotage your words.

Emotional regulation in communication mastery is so important.  Be self-aware enough to know if this is not the right time to have the conversation because your head is not in the right place. How? Well some questions to ask. Just self-assessment. Are you frustrated? Do you believe the other person is ignoring you or is in the wrong?

Are you getting tunnel vision? These are just some simple things.  The list goes on. Again, you may still need the information or feel you need the information now, but do you, do you really need it right now? And if you do, then make sure you're in the right place with your mindset. Take a few minutes to process why you're feeling this way.

It's likely that is actually the real conversation, not what you actually want to talk about. Many times when I've coached people and work with people, they're frustrated because people aren't reporting in, actually, that's not what they're frustrated about. They're frustrated about something else, whether it's their performance as a manager or as a leader.

They performance in communication. They're performance and you fill in the blank, but they're using that current experience. That's happening right now as a springboard to react. You don't wanna do that. You want to back off. Don't burn a bridge just because you're impatient.    And the last one is talking too much.

Especially as a leader. Talking more doesn't mean leading. Better say less, ask more. I think this happens out of, um, innocence. Many times it's not intentional.  Um, and it's just part of lack of self-awareness. Um, this is an area that I'm currently growing in. I am constantly asking, seriously, I did it this week, are, do they really need to know that this story or history or fact or you fill in the blank?

Or is it just me wanting to talk? In other words, is it relevant? Is it even make sense? So use the acronym, wait, I use that. WAIT. Why am I talking s. Think about that when you're talking. Why am I talking right now?



So, how do we apply all this at work and at home?   Well, let's shift gears and get tactical.

First one is how to communicate well at work. You know, at work communication is your leadership currency. I really do believe that.   So there's three ways to level up. One a line before you assign, before giving directions, ask, are we all on the same page? How will we measure success? What's the desired outcome?

When will we check in? You fill in the blank. I'm just giving you some ideas here, but whatever you need to do to. Assign and then leave it alone. So you have to align first, then you can assign, and then you can leave it alone. Number two, remember to use the right medium. Medium. What I mean by that is, is in writing, tone is so easy to misread, so do you need to use a voice memo or quick video message?

If the topic is emotionally charged, better yet, walk to their office and clarify in person. I did that this week. There was an email going back and forth. It wasn't heated, but it was kind of like it wasn't great, it wasn't bad. I sent my final response and then I walked over and said, Hey, can we debrief where we are with this meeting?

Save time, reduce stress by ensuring you use the right medium. To communicate. And number three, model clarity. Clarity is kindness. Um, I, I, Kim Scott uses that a lot in her book. And, um, I just think it's so important. Don't assume people know what you expect. Be direct and supportive. In other words, what is due by when and by whom?

Who is responsible for what I expect to report on this date, or I'll be, I'll be forced to put more hands on. Just clearly saying that upfront is very important. Again, Kim Scott talks about that in her book, radical Candor.

 And then the next one is leadership application. As far as communicating as a leader.

When you step into leadership, every word you say carries weight. It really does in public anyway.   Here's how great leaders communicate. Leaders cast vision. People need to hear the why behind the work. Not every single detail, but if you're just telling them to do things and there's no why, you're not leading leaders, give feedback.

Well, and how do you wanna do that? I use the SBI model situation, behavior impact. So in other words. Situation yesterday, yesterday's client's call behavior. You cut the client off mid-sentence. Impact, they shut down for the rest of the meeting. So you're very specific. What was the situation? What was the behavior and what was the impact?

You can't argue with the fact, well, people can argue with the facts, but it gives you a place to have the dialogue and then also leaders invite honesty. If no one pushes back on any of your ideas, they just sit there and they're quiet. You may not be leading, you might just be intimidating.  So. Is there someone safe you can talk to and ask, how am I coming across?

How can I communicate better? And remember, how you communicate becomes your team's culture. Speak with clarity, lead with humility, and, and then also by example.



  Let's get practical with three simple action steps this week. Number one, practice reflective listening. Use the phrase or a phrase like this. What I hear you saying is. In a real conversation.

Number two, clarify instead of us, instead of assuming if someone feels off, ask about it, don't guess. And number three, be specific in your ass. In other words, swap soon or later with exact times and expectations.

 Do you want help living this out? We'll download my free seven page toolkit, which includes a self-assessment checklist, conversation planner, sample scripts.

And more. Get it now. The link is in the show notes. Just a reminder, every episode I have, at least, almost every single one has a free toolkit with it. There's free, there's no strings attached. You just gotta give your name and email.   You can download those. If this video added value to your day, please hit like and subscribe.

 Leave a comment. How are you communicating Better at work or at home? With this, what are ways that you've shifted your communication to be a better leader? Until next time, I'm Jonathan Hankin, your leadership coach. Keep questioning, keep growing, and keep leading change.