Managers React, Leaders Respond—Here's the Difference

Are you leading… or just managing?

A lot of managers today are functioning as followers — following the system, the checklist, the policies — and never stepping into the leadership their people actually need.

In this episode, we break down the eight essential insights that separate leaders from followers and give you five practical shifts to help your team thrive.

If you want your team to feel supported, aligned, developed, and empowered — this episode is for you.

▶️Watch the video: https://youtu.be/7M9RiSDHXRw

▶️ Chapters:

00:00 Introduction: Manager vs. Leader

01:59 Insight 1: Managers Follow, Leaders Lead

04:27 Insight 2: Leading People, Not Just Tasks

06:41 Insight 3: Continuous Improvement

08:29 Insight 4: Leadership as a Creative Act

10:07 Insight 5: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

15:05 Insight 6: Moving People Forward

16:13 Insight 7: Taking Responsibility

17:00 Insight 8: Leadership is a Choice

18:06 Practical Shifts from Follower to Leader

23:29 Conclusion and Call to Action 

Catch full episodes of video versions and other leadership videos on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Jonathan-Hankin

Download Free Leadership Toolkits → https://www.jonathanhankin.com/leadership-toolkit-library

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Transcript

  Hey everyone. Welcome back to another Change Agent Leadership. Today we're talking about something every one of us has experience, and that's working for a manager, not a leader,  someone who followed the handbook and the processes, but they actually didn't lead you. They just kind of followed what they were told to do.

If you've ever felt unseen or unsupported or stuck under a manager who just forwarded emails. Down the chain. You already know the difference that I'm talking about. Well, here's the truth.   A lot of managers today are actually functioning as followers following the system, following the checklist, following what the organization has always done.

 The danger with this is when a manager acts like a follower or a leader, even acts like a follower, the people under them become unled and feel unappreciated. Your title might say, manager, I understand that, but.   Your team sees you as a leader, someone who sees them, guides them, uh, develops them hopefully, and also takes responsibility for creating the future instead of just preserving the past.

 So, one quick clarification before we jump in. If your company uses titles like manager, senior manager, director, et cetera, that's fine. This isn't about your title.   This is about how you show up as a leader no matter what your title is.  And so. Just keep that in mind as we jump in and yes, leaders still have management responsibilities.

We don't want to reinvent the wheel every day, but it is easy to slide into a manager as follower mindset and forget to actually lead. Your team doesn't need more administrators. There are plenty of those out there. They need you to lead. They need me to lead. And so let's dive into eight insights that I hope will help you and me step into leadership at every level.

 So insight one. I'm gonna call 'em different insights. Insight one. Most managers are trained to follow, not lead.  When you become a manager, what do you actually get? You actually usually get policies, procedures, sop, standard operating procedures, KPIs to measure checklists, compliance training, a handbook, or maybe you got none of that.

I mean, that actually happened. You just like, Hey. Good luck, uh, do it. But the truth is, none of that teaches leadership. It teaches, um, execution of what already exists. And so sometimes people are hired just to do that, but structure does matter. Processes matter.   But if you only function inside. System you inherited, you're not leading your following.

  A follower manager, so to speak, asks, did I do what the system told me to do, or did I do what I was told to do to get the task done?   A leader instead asks, what does my team need? What actually is happening here? And what needs to change to make it better.  This is not about change to change. There's the theme here through several things I'm going to say.

We're not talking about change to change. We're talking about what do you need to do as a leader to make it take it to the next LE level. Um, leadership requires. Interpretation, adaptation, emotional intelligence and continuous improvement at all times, none of which are in that list I gave as a manager.

That list is really just about maintaining. One of my core beliefs, uh, in this is that.   Every leader, regardless of title, must be committed to continuous improvement.  It's part of our DNA as leaders if we really want to thrive and we want those around us to thrive. Not reckless change for the sake of change, as I just mentioned, but a steady, thoughtful cadence of evaluating.

 What's working, what's not working, what needs to be improved, and how do we bring the team along with us?  That's a big disconnect a lot of leaders have is they evaluate that in a vacuum and then they implement change. That's not what this is about. Leaders step into the situation with input and then talk about how do we bring the team along with us followers, maintain leaders, reimagine  insight two.

If you're only managing task, your people are unled.  When a manager behaves like a follower, in other words, here's what the employee's going to experience if they do that. I don't know what direction we're going is a common phrase that employees use if they have a manager. That is not leading them. I don't know how I'm doing.

I hear that a lot. I don't feel supported. My manager just forwards instructions from above. Have you ever experienced that where it's like you get an email and you ask about it, like I'm just doing what I'm told. Um, that's not ownership. I'm, or the last one, I'm figuring everything out alone. That's what employees feel if they're being unled by their managers.

 So this is where emotional intelligence stops becoming optional. A follower manager sees tasks a leader's. These people, when people are unseen, they disengage. I mean, I disengage if I'm unseen. If I'm just part of a cog, cog in a bigger machine, I disengage. I withhold ideas. So talk about me. If this happens to me, I'm gonna just withhold ideas.

I'm gonna stop growing. I'm gonna stop caring as much, and eventually people leave. I mean, that's true. So think of your people if you withhold ideas from them or you don't treat them with good emotional intelligence and treat them as people. Are they going to withhold ideas? Are they currently withholding ideas?

Did they stop growing? Are you asking them on a regular basis?  One of my questions is, how are you, what are you doing to develop yourself? I do that with all my directors.  Um, they stop caring. Now granted, I still care if this happens to me 'cause it's just my personality, but I'm gonna start caring more about other things.

So it might be other departments or how I engage in other ways and I can't, it's necessarily a bad thing, but it can hurt your goals for your department and eventually they will leave. Good employees lead As leaders,  our job is to connect tasks to purpose. This requires listening, empathy, curiosity, and the ability to ask, how does this feel for the people doing the work?

 Just asking that question, how does this feel? How do they feel? Well, how are you gonna know? Ask them. And then addressing, adjusting accordingly.

 So Insight three managers, preserve leaders, reimagine management asks, how do we keep this running? Well, that's their job. I mean, it's not a bad question. But leaders ask, not only how do we keep this running, but how do we make it better?  As I've mentioned before, this is a key theme about continuous improvement.

Followers, preserve the past, leaders create the future. This is more about more important now than. Ever with AI advancing at lightning speed, ai, artificial intelligence, or whatever you wanna call it, quantum computing can manage almost anything. It creates many tasks. It's gonna eliminate many jobs. It already is.

However, remember,  AI can optimize, calculate assigned tasks and run systems, which works really well in many situations. I use it for different tasks. It helps,  but AI can't build trust, inspire. Coach, develop people. Navigate conflict, create culture or cast vision, and the list goes on.  Why? Because that's your lane.

That's my lane. As leaders, that's what we do. So it's about understanding what is the role of ai. I did a video on that and how to lead in the age of ai, and that's some of the things I talked about is we have a part. Artificial intelligence has a part. It's just the natural evolution of where we are in society and there's gonna be things in the future, um, that are gonna happen as well.

But right now, this is the big one. So how do we use it, but also use our skills as leaders, which is your lane leaders, reimagine what's possible. Followers hold onto what's comfortable.  Organizations decline. Not because systems fail, but because managers cling to them instead of challenging them.

 Insight four, leadership is a creative act. Remember that leadership is a, what does that mean to you? Leadership is a creative act.  Well, leadership's not scripted. It's not like you walk in each day and let me turn, let me open to the script for the date today and go through that with my team. No, it's very flu.

It's fluid. If you've been anything, I mean, that was one of my, when I was at FedEx and in a station as well as managing an airport, I mean. It changed not just every day, but every hour. It seemed every minute. You can't find the standard operating, operating procedures in a binder many time. Why? Well, leaders need to be creative.

They need to create clarity, direction, alignment, momentum, um, energy safety. I think that's really important and managers need to create that. Leaders do as well. Also, accountability and culture. These are jobs that managers, technically, if they're just followers, are not going to do, but leaders are gonna step, actually, step into this, embrace it, and lead.

 You need to decide what kind of experience your team is going to have you decide. How people feel when they walk into work. You also decide what standards are tolerated and what behaviors are reinforced.  Followers wait for instructions. Leaders create what's missing, or they even do better than create what's missing.

They bring people in and they evaluate what needs to change, to have engagement, to have involvement, to have a creative. Active part in what's going to happen.  Five followers rely on process or processes. Leaders rely on emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is not. Just a soft skill.  Many people say it's a soft skill, you can learn. It's true, but it's also the foundation of leadership, at least I believe it is. Here's a simple comparison. So when you think emotional intelligence, I talk to lots of people and they're like, well, you know, that's, that's understanding your feelings and when, how people relate and how to relate to them.

Well, that is a aspect of it. Well, what's more important is in a situation when things happen, it's not just how you feel, it's how your emotions cause you to react or not react in a way that will lead to a positive outcome.  but think about how you.

View emotional intelligence from a manager leader, a follower manager perspective, and a leader perspective.  So a manager or a follower communicates information, which leaders do too, but leaders take it to the next level. They communicate, meaning what's behind it, what's happening, what's going on?

Managers, many time react leaders anticipate that's part of that emotional awareness. They react to, oh, that caught me off guard. It's happened 30 times and it's still catching you off guard. No, leaders recognize, oh, this is a trend. This is what's happening. Followers just really rely on control systems and processes, so they then control the situation.

They try to stifle. Creative, inventive people and they try to just say, well no, we're gonna do it this way 'cause this is how we've always done it. Leaders don't they embrace and they empower people instead of controlling. They empower people. And it's not about total do what you want, but it is. How does this lead to the next thing?

Follower managers avoid discomfort because they just don't have time and they can't creatively think. No. Leaders use emotional intelligence and lean into it. They navigate hard conversation. With care, with emotional intelligence, understanding what is my role in this situation? What is not my role in this situation?

Followers, managers measure emotions. In other words, hmm, that person's upset. I have to make them happy or I have to avoid them. It's always a mindset of passivity almost. Uh, you've worked with people like that where they see somebody that's upset and it's almost like, how do I make them happy? Well wait, if you, there's 30 people over here that you need to deal with because that that person's actually the problem.

But what is it? What is an emotionally aware leader? They manage emotions and they step into the situation. And last followers, managers use authority, kind of like a stick. Like, Hey, I'm the manager. Do what I'm, do what you're told leaders. They can use that, but that's not the go-to. What is the go-to building trust by leaning into the situation.

Everything I just listed, they lean into what's happening.  So think about that. Where are you if. In your role as a leader, are you leaning in different directions and none of us have arrived? So all of us tend to lean in situations when it's happened, when there's high stress, high pressure, you know, it's a crucial conversation.

Um, we always don't act the best, but what is our general way that we're leaning and we're thinking in most of those situations.  Emotional intelligence is what allows a leader to say, I see you, I hear you, and I actually understand what you need. I really believe it. Let's confirm what I'm hearing and move forward together.

 It's not just a taking data in, data out. A follower manager manages the moment. A leader manages the relationship, which is key. And just to pause for a moment, if you want to grow in your emotional intelligence. You're not gonna happen on its own. It, it's not like I'm just going to arrive one day. You have to have a tangible way to measure it.

 I offer the EQI 2.0 assessment, which is the only scientifically validated emotional intelligence assessment available, and it includes a one hour debrief session with me. So you get a full, I think it's 20 page report. Um, all 15 areas are broken down. You get a 1 8, 1 hour one-on-one debrief. With me, it's $375.

All in, that's the full package. There's no pressure to do any more coaching after that. You can, but that is a standalone.  And then in February, I just wanna announce, I'm gonna be launching a brand new emotional intelligence cohort that I'm very excited about.

It's a small group experience with. It includes this assessment, a two day workshop, so two half day workshops that I'm going to do. And after the workshops, there'll be monthly coaching for three or four months in that group, um, to ensure that we, how do we live this out and how do we do it? It's a $2,000 value package with all of the time involved.

It's 9 95. , if you sign up. So I'll put that link in the show notes.

 Let's move on to insight number six. Leaders don't just move work forward, they move people forward,  followers move tasks. It's just about what is the next task leaders move. People. Leadership requires a mindset of curiosity, coaching, empathy, clarity, expectations, and accountability. All those things are crucial and that's part of emotional intelligence that is having that.  

Is people will outgrow their jobs or walk away from them depending on how they're led.  So if you are not leaning into being curious, being a coach, being empathetic, being clear, clear with expectations, clear with, um, communication and accountability. There's a high chance that your good people are going to leave and you're becoming more of a leader follower than a true leader.

Your job is to not push work forward. Yes, tests have to be got done. Yes, KPIs are important. All that's true, but don't use that as an excuse. Your job is to elevate the people doing the job as well.  Inside seven followers wait for permission. Leaders take responsibility.  A follower says someone should fix this.

A leader says, I'm responsible for fixing this. This is where the book, extreme ownership is absolutely right. Without ownership, nothing changes. As leaders, we have to take responsibility. Granted, other people are screwing things up. I get that. But it's still our responsibility as a leader to say, well, why are they screwing it up?

Have I clearly communicated? Do they know what they're doing? Do they know how? Know what's happening? And that is where sometimes we just move too fast as leaders and we need to slow down a little bit and understand where our team is. Great leaders don't bully or push compliance. They build commitment.

 Insight number eight. Leadership isn't a promotion, it's a choice.  Leadership doesn't start with a title. It actually starts with a decision. A decision that says,  I will not follow dysfunction. I will not hide behind processes, and I won't wait for clarity. Instead, a lead,  every great leader, the ones you admire, think of them started before they felt ready.

I started before I felt ready. Someone came to me, his name was Dan Moyles at FedEx and said, I'm, I believe you're ready for leadership at FedEx, and I'm gonna want you to join our leadership training program. I'll be honest, I was taken a little bit off guard. I had done leadership before, but never really in an intense program.

Why he saw some of this stuff. I was willing to step up. I was willing to take ownership. I was willing to lead. I just didn't have the tools to do it. So think of that. Where are you? Do you agree with that, that you're not following dysfunction? You're not hiding behind a process. You're not just waiting for clarity before you move forward.

You're going to create clarity and you're going to lead. So with that in mind, let's go over five practical shifts for you this week. How can you live this out? We talked about the eight insights, which I hope were helpful as you think through. Maintaining you and I being a good leader and not just a follower of instructions.

So let's think about five shifts you can make right now to move from follower to leader. Um, whether you're a leader but you're still drifting maybe a little bit, or you're maybe you identify, Hey, I am mainly being a follower and a manager. I want to step up.  So shift one is move from communication to connection.

Don't just update people, understand them.  Ask some questions. What's on your plate right now? Where are you stuck? What does support look like? Today Or what support do you need to move forward? Whatever the question is, you need to come up with a question who you are, um, whether it's those or what obstacle needs to be removed to help you succeed.

You decide that, but connection builds trust and then trust builds performance.  Shift number two is move from expectations to environments.  Followers say, here's the task. And get it done. Leaders ask, have I created the environment where you can succeed? It's that evaluation. What does that look like? Well, that includes information that's part of the environment.

Information clarity tools, psychological safety, feedback. Trust. What are the things you can think of? All those things create an environment that drives and delivers results.  Shift three, move from problem solving to bridging communication gaps.  Managers solve tasks, leaders solve understanding. People don't need more direction necessarily.

They need. More dreaming, more meaning in what they're doing, meaning fuels ownership. They need to understand what this they're connected to, why it makes sense to move in this direction. The why is so important.  Shift four, move from avoidance to courage. You know, followers avoid the hard stuff.  Um, it's just true.

Leaders step into it, not because we want to. It's not like, oh, let me find something hard to step into it. No, because, but we know that that is what our calling is as leaders. That includes stepping into hard situations, like under performance conversations. Those aren't fun, but they have to happen. If you don't have those.

Your high performers are going to leave misalignment conversations. Is somebody in the wrong role? Well, understanding why. What does that look like? Possibly taking the working genius and understanding where people fit, conflict conversations. Not avoiding the conflict, but not actually going after the conflict.

What is that middle ground? Understanding what is the conflict? Having the conversation with the person to understand where are you, what is causing this conflict? And then also the something feels off conversations. That's a lot that I have with, I have this a lot of times with people is. It can be to any of those under underperformance conversation, misalignment or the conflict, which is, Hey, something feels off here.

Like we're not connecting, or You're not connecting to the role, or you're disengaged what's going on? Again, that can be a process. 'cause sometimes people be like, Hey, I'm fine. But again, if you push into it as a leader, a manager's gonna say, okay, sounds good. Thanks. And they're gonna say to their boss, I've had the conversation, they're fine.

That's not what this is about. Leadership is about, well, I understand that, but your actions are saying something is not fine. Let's lean into that. If you need tools to help with this. Sign up for my leadership toolkits. They're free. Link is in the show notes. I have many different toolkits in there. Um, they're not perfect, but they give you a guide as to how to have many of these conversations and move forward.

 And then the last one, shift five, move from guarding systems to improving them.  You know, followers protect what exists almost at all costs. Because they don't want to change leaders build what's next. If something is unclear, slow or ineffective, or inf ineffective to people, improve it. Look at it, address it, and see what's happening.

That's leadership.  So try this challenge this week. Identify one area where you've been operating like a follower. It's not that you're necessarily a follower, but how have you been working, operating like a follower. Maybe it's a conversation. You've avoided a decision. You've, you're delaying, uh, an ineffective process that you just tolerate because you don't wanna deal with it.

Uh, a team member you haven't developed. And you know you should develop 'em, but you're not. Or a change you've been afraid to initiate. Then ask, what would a leader do here? Write down what you'll do when you'll do it, and how you'll do it. And then do it even if it feels uncomfortable, you won't get it perfect.

That's not the point. Leadership grows through action, not perfection.  Remember, leadership isn't about controlling the work. It's about empowering the people doing the work. Your team doesn't need another follower. They need a leader who sees them, supports them, develops them, and brings out their best.  If this video added value, hit like and subscribe.

Drop a comment. I'd love to hear from you. How are you?  Leading well during change. How are you adjusting maybe from being a manager follower to a leader? Is there anything I can do to help leave a comment? I will definitely respond. I respond to every comment, all of that. All of this helps me grow this channel for you.

Until next time, I'm Jonathan Hankin, your leadership coach. Keep questioning, keep growing, and keep leading change.