Unbearable Weight of Massive Sharam

WOW.

What a breakthrough.

I am feeling like I am just holding on for dear life as my subconscious mind unravels.

I'm also testing the Zoom h6 audio recorder.

What do you think of the audio?

Chapters:

00:00 - Introducing Sharam's Nameless Podcast
01:47 - Testing the Zoom H6 Setup
03:04 - Depression and the Life Coach Journey
06:36 - The Core Breakthrough About Love
09:22 - Unraveling My Mind's Failure Loop
12:35 - Future Direction and Closing Thoughts

Here is some SEO text:

• Journey through depression and life coaching led to major self-discovery
• Working at Melbourne wholesale market moving carrot boxes provided thinking time
• Core realization: struggling to feel love doesn't mean failing at love
• Every positive feeling came bundled with an unconscious sense of failure
• Breaking this pattern is allowing creativity and networking to flow naturally
• Testing new podcast formats and equipment (Zoom H6) for future content
• Planning wider content beyond just podcasts - high-production YouTube videos
• The podcast name remains undecided but that's okay, not a failure

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME A FAN MAIL

Transcript

Introducing Sharam's Nameless Podcast

Speaker 1 0:00

Hi , welcome to whatever podcast name we've decided this week . Currently it is Sharam's Insane Podcast , although it might change in the future . It has been a hard time naming this podcast and I honestly don't know what to call it . You know , if you've been on this journey , I think it's currently called Sharam's Insane Podcast the unbearable weight of massive Sharam . Welcome to Sharam's Insane Podcast or , if you are listening in the future , whatever this podcast is called . At the time , I have not figured out the name yet , nor properly the premise . Is it a diary ? Is it a journey ? Is it interviews ? The answer is yes , it is all of the above .

Speaker 1 0:38

I think we are on the cusp of something really fantastic here and I just wanted to sort of do two things with this podcast . First of all , I'm testing out the zoom h6 . This was lovingly uh borrowed from a local comedian , james g warren . Uh , shout out to james where , uh , and I'm just trying out this sort of run and gun style podcast . So if you're wondering , if you're watching the video version of this , like , where am I ? I found a chair . I found a wall . I have a new tripod that can go super tall . We're trying out this microphone . So what do you think ? Do you think it's good ? Do you think it's sexy ? Because , realistically , when I blow up baby , it's going to be . I'm going to need this , I'm going to need this setup so I can literally run and gun podcasts . So this episode is about a massive breakthrough I've had in my own life and I do want to talk about this because I do feel like I'm holding on . That's why this episode is called the Unbearable Weight of Massive Sharam , and it's also a test of the microphone to see how well it works outside things like that .

Testing the Zoom H6 Setup

Speaker 1 1:47

So to begin this story , to begin , let's go back into the past , where I first started comedy . Picture this the scene . It was the Melbourne wholesale market . I had just answered the question I just cured my depression . That's actually a step . Before that , I had just cured my depression , I'd run out of money , I was living with my family and I spent almost the entire year meditating . I'd been a life and relationship coach and discovered that the way I was helping other people was by digesting their emotions , by helping them process with certain meditation practices . So I had gotten to the point where I realized I have to be my primary client . I need to be the person which is what every life coach does when they can't find enough clients . They're like it's me , I'm the client , hopefully . Look , which is what every life coach does when they can't find enough clients . They're like it's me , I'm the client , hopefully . Look , this is a test for this microphone . So there's currently a train that's going by . I don't know if it's good or bad or whatever . We'll listen to it later . Hopefully it isn't too disturbing for you .

Speaker 1 2:50

But , flashback , I think it was pre-COVID and I'd been with my family and I just realized the core wounds that had been creating , two core wounds the one , the thing that had been creating this depressive

Depression and the Life Coach Journey

Speaker 1 3:04

episode that has been , dare I say , my life up until that point , and the second thing , which had been a little riddle . So and it's a riddle that all of us know , you know , let me ask you this riddle what do you want to be when you grow up ? Oh , fucking , such a hard question , such a hard question to answer . Can you answer it ? People who can answer it , I would say , are lying to themselves . But the problem with that riddle is up until , dare I say , what was it ?

Speaker 1 3:34

When I was 20-something , I had thought that that meant one thing . So my life coaching business had shattered . I still had clients or whatever , and I would still wait and look after them and stuff like that . I would just wait for the train to go by , because I don't know if he can hear it or if he can't . Ooh , interim music Boop , boop-doop-boop , boop-boop , boop-doop-boop in interim music . Yeah , so , okay . So when people ask you the question , what do you want to be when you grow up , I actually thought that just meant one thing . So I had . So when I realized that my coaching career basically shattered into all of the composite parts , like the marketing , got a job in social media marketing , as well as clients and stuff like that , opening up into comedy , I'd realized . So I got a job at the Melbourne wholesale market moving boxes of carrots with my dad for eight to 10 hours a night , several nights a week , and it was during that time where I had a lot of time to think and digest and process , especially as COVID hit hit , I realized I need to start stand up . Now .

Speaker 1 4:40

What happened when I made that choice was a fucking core wound started to rear its ugly head , a new one , and one that I hadn't resolved yet , one that through all my history as a comedian , as someone who'd been working , just even even the pre-thought . The pre-thought brought this fear up and it has been , dare I say , a rock in my shoe of the runner , of the splinter , of a runner , for my entire life , this entire time , and it's been crazy . And so maybe I had the breakthrough , maybe two weeks ago , and it was something very simple that I didn't realize had been permeating through my whole life , which is why I'm like it's the unbearable weight of Masasharam . I feel like , having this breakthrough , I am catching up to where I should have been , dare I say , the entire time . But also , having this breakthrough , I realize that the road ahead of me , like I'm just trying to hold on to whatever I'm about to create , that's what it feels like . It feels like the future is incredibly bright and I'm just trying to hold on to what it is or what it could be . So let me ask you this , gangster , let me ask you this what do you think the breakthrough is All right ? Lock it in in the comments . And also , while you're at it , if you're listening to the Spotify version or the me , ask you this what do you think the breakthrough is all right ? Lock it in in the comments , uh , and also , while you're at it , um , if you're on , if you're listening to the spotify version or the instant , whatever , the , the audio only version , that's on all the other platforms um , uh , there is a fan mail button somewhere in the description so you can press that and it'll . You'll be able to send me a message and I'll be able to read it and reply through the podcast . Hello , so he'd come to .

Speaker 1 6:28

The breakthrough was was that , before every gig , I was struggling .

The Core Breakthrough About Love

Speaker 1 6:36

After every gig , I was struggling With human connection , I was struggling With networking . I was struggling . After every gig , I was struggling With human connection , I was struggling With networking . I was struggling With all the things , the whole experience . I was struggling , and I realized the entire time that the thing I was struggling with Well , I'm going to wait for the train to pass by , because I don't know if you can hear the train or not . I don't know , I don't think you can the thing I was struggling with the entire time was love .

Speaker 1 7:17

I found love hard to feel and , weirdly enough , that is the breakthrough that I struggle with feeling love and therefore , as a result , I think I'm failing . Now , what does this mean ? This means that any love that I felt , whether it was performative , whether it was a view on Instagram or a post , or even people who follow this podcast , hey , I would struggle to feel , and therefore my default nervous system response was when I felt it , I was , I was a failure . I was oh , because I struggled to feel it , that everyone else can feel it easier than me , which was my projection .

Speaker 1 8:02

I was a failure , and so this was something that , like , it's an interesting breakthrough , because it's one of those ones where I realized , oh , I just find it hard to feel love , that's it . I just find it hard to feel . Now , what does that mean ? Does that mean that I'm not feeling it ? No , I just find it hard to feel , and maybe it's a human thing , maybe that's just how it goes . You know what I mean . Like , maybe that's just the experience of human condition , maybe that's just me specifically , but whatever it was , I've recognized that there are some things I just struggle to feel , and if I struggle to feel it , that doesn't mean I'm failing . Now , what happens after ? That is a beautiful part of the psychological process that I love . That is when you learn something . Does it cross-permeate into other areas ? Well , yes , it does ? It's a rhetorical question . Does it cross-permeate into other parts of your life ? Hell , yeah .

Speaker 1 9:05

So my mind has started to unravel , to unravel , unravel massively , because what are all the other things that I struggle to feel and that I find hard to feel when I feel like I'm struggling ? There

Unraveling My Mind's Failure Loop

Speaker 1 9:22

is a lot . First of all , this the podcast . What is the name of the podcast ? Oh , I'm struggling with that , but am I failing ? No , so I'm watching my nervous system re-knit . I'm watching it re-knit as it's coming together , as it's like , dude , you just have .

Speaker 1 9:40

So basically , what I've done is I've realized that every time I feel something positive that could be leaning me , that could help me feel love or feel more love , I've also lumped onto that a sensation of I've failed . So now my nervous system is getting rid of the I've failed and just collecting the success , no matter how small , no matter how much I've struggled with it . So coming up with the name of the podcast is a good example of that . I haven't fully unraveled it yet , but I'm starting to see my mind unravel it with jokes . It's like , yeah , coming up with jokes is fucking hard . That's just the flavor of it . But I didn't realize . The entire time I've been telling myself I failed . Every time I found it hard at the same time as just finding it hard . Connecting with people , networking all of this stuff . I am watching . I'm in a beautiful state right now . I am watching my mind unravel real time massive amounts of , I would say , projected failure , and just to see what is going to happen next , I think is going to be real exciting . So , first of all , one of the breakthroughs I realized was , for example , with YouTube Like what am I doing ? With my channel ? I was always like am I doing podcasts , am I doing sketches ? Am I doing this or that ? What am I doing ? The answer is fucking everything .

Speaker 1 11:02

I want the podcast to be a third or a quarter or a fifth of what is the actual stuff that I'm doing . I want high-budget production stuff , stuff that I'm doing . I want high budget production stuff . I want pieces of content that connect with people , that are deeper . Like , when I'm talking content , I'm talking wides , right , wide content , not shorts or reels or TikToks . That stuff is like willy-nilly . I don't come from that era . I'm not going to be like oh man , I really want to make a thousand TikToks . You know , I'm going to come from the era of the people that grew up with YouTube , which are the wide stuff which is movie style stuff .

Speaker 1 11:37

I want dumb ass high production stuff on dumb jokes , as well as these podcasts , as well as standup clips as specials online , all that kind of stuff . Uh , cause , here's a fun fact these podcasts , even with like fucking 20 views , make me 13 cents . Now , imagine if that was 21 views , imagine if that was 2,000 views . That shit is crazy . Now there's a beep going off in the distance . I hope that you can't hear it , and if you can hear it , I hope I can cut it out , because that's really annoying and it really like fucks with my mind .

Speaker 1 12:11

So I've started to see all of this stuff , and this podcast episode was called the unbearable weight of massive sharam , mostly because I am in an interesting phase where I'm just trying to hold on . There has been a psychological damn wall that I have put , I have put behind my mind that has stopped me from actually fully seeing who and what I am , and I am

Future Direction and Closing Thoughts

Speaker 1 12:35

starting to open up , even networking , connecting with other comedians . I find it hard because I've been telling myself if I find it hard , I fail , and now I'm watching myself as a child . Just stand there , like , just stand there , connect with people that I already was good with connecting and just struggle . But here's the thing like let myself exist in the space without the struggle , without the constant telling myself I'm failing , as I'm there just standing there connecting with people . So if you're here at this stage in the journey , you are coming in at the Sharm Namdarian podcast journey , whatever we're calling it .

Speaker 1 13:11

I was thinking just Sharm Namdarian's podcast , because wouldn't that be funny if it was just like hey , man , I can't believe you're on Sharm Namdarian's podcast and like what's it called ? It's just called Sharm Namdarian's podcast , like that's the name of the podcast . But you are coming in at the ground level and this podcast is going to be the grassroots sort of interpretation of the entire journey . Like I'm excited for the future as my subconscious has unraveled , like I'm trying new jokes , I'm remembering them better . I'm like just because you struggle at something doesn't mean you've failed , and it's interesting because of the psychological response that has . Like it's there's a threshold .

Speaker 1 13:54

And I've talked to other people about this breakthrough and they're like , yes , I feel the same thing . Sometimes love or success is just hard to feel and there's nothing more to it , and it's mostly because it's happening to us and we're just not climatized to it . So I don't know if there's any really funny point behind this podcast episode or any amazing point or anything , but I think that's it and mostly it was a test of this audio system . So what do you think ? Let me know .