Sharam Namdarian Makes a Podcast

Unbearable Weight of Massive Sharam

• Sharam Namdarian

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WOW.

What a breakthrough.

I am feeling like I am just holding on for dear life as my subconscious mind unravels.

I'm also testing the Zoom h6 audio recorder.

What do you think of the audio?


Chapters:

00:00 - Introducing Sharam's Nameless Podcast
01:47 - Testing the Zoom H6 Setup
03:04 - Depression and the Life Coach Journey
06:36 - The Core Breakthrough About Love
09:22 - Unraveling My Mind's Failure Loop
12:35 - Future Direction and Closing Thoughts

Here is some SEO text:

• Journey through depression and life coaching led to major self-discovery
• Working at Melbourne wholesale market moving carrot boxes provided thinking time
• Core realization: struggling to feel love doesn't mean failing at love
• Every positive feeling came bundled with an unconscious sense of failure
• Breaking this pattern is allowing creativity and networking to flow naturally
• Testing new podcast formats and equipment (Zoom H6) for future content
• Planning wider content beyond just podcasts - high-production YouTube videos
• The podcast name remains undecided but that's okay, not a failure


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Send me Fan Mail! It could be anything, we are desperate at this point.

Speaker 1:

Hi, welcome to whatever podcast name we've decided this week. Currently it is Sharam's Insane Podcast, although it might change in the future. It has been a hard time naming this podcast and I honestly don't know what to call it. You know, if you've been on this journey, I think it's currently called Sharam's Insane Podcast the unbearable weight of massive Sharam. Welcome to Sharam's Insane Podcast or, if you are listening in the future, whatever this podcast is called. At the time, I have not figured out the name yet, nor properly the premise. Is it a diary? Is it a journey? Is it interviews? The answer is yes, it is all of the above.

Speaker 1:

I think we are on the cusp of something really fantastic here and I just wanted to sort of do two things with this podcast. First of all, I'm testing out the zoom h6. This was lovingly uh borrowed from a local comedian, james g warren. Uh, shout out to james where, uh, and I'm just trying out this sort of run and gun style podcast. So if you're wondering, if you're watching the video version of this, like, where am I? I found a chair. I found a wall. I have a new tripod that can go super tall. We're trying out this microphone. So what do you think? Do you think it's good? Do you think it's sexy? Because, realistically, when I blow up baby, it's going to be. I'm going to need this, I'm going to need this setup so I can literally run and gun podcasts. So this episode is about a massive breakthrough I've had in my own life and I do want to talk about this because I do feel like I'm holding on. That's why this episode is called the Unbearable Weight of Massive Sharam, and it's also a test of the microphone to see how well it works outside things like that.

Speaker 1:

So to begin this story, to begin, let's go back into the past, where I first started comedy. Picture this the scene. It was the Melbourne wholesale market. I had just answered the question I just cured my depression. That's actually a step. Before that, I had just cured my depression, I'd run out of money, I was living with my family and I spent almost the entire year meditating. I'd been a life and relationship coach and discovered that the way I was helping other people was by digesting their emotions, by helping them process with certain meditation practices. So I had gotten to the point where I realized I have to be my primary client. I need to be the person which is what every life coach does when they can't find enough clients. They're like it's me, I'm the client, hopefully. Look, which is what every life coach does when they can't find enough clients. They're like it's me, I'm the client, hopefully. Look, this is a test for this microphone. So there's currently a train that's going by. I don't know if it's good or bad or whatever. We'll listen to it later. Hopefully it isn't too disturbing for you.

Speaker 1:

But, flashback, I think it was pre-COVID and I'd been with my family and I just realized the core wounds that had been creating, two core wounds the one, the thing that had been creating this depressive episode that has been, dare I say, my life up until that point, and the second thing, which had been a little riddle. So and it's a riddle that all of us know, you know, let me ask you this riddle what do you want to be when you grow up? Oh, fucking, such a hard question, such a hard question to answer. Can you answer it? People who can answer it, I would say, are lying to themselves. But the problem with that riddle is up until, dare I say, what was it?

Speaker 1:

When I was 20-something, I had thought that that meant one thing. So my life coaching business had shattered. I still had clients or whatever, and I would still wait and look after them and stuff like that. I would just wait for the train to go by, because I don't know if he can hear it or if he can't. Ooh, interim music Boop, boop-doop-boop, boop-boop, boop-doop-boop in interim music. Yeah, so, okay. So when people ask you the question, what do you want to be when you grow up, I actually thought that just meant one thing. So I had. So when I realized that my coaching career basically shattered into all of the composite parts, like the marketing, got a job in social media marketing, as well as clients and stuff like that, opening up into comedy, I'd realized. So I got a job at the Melbourne wholesale market moving boxes of carrots with my dad for eight to 10 hours a night, several nights a week, and it was during that time where I had a lot of time to think and digest and process, especially as COVID hit hit, I realized I need to start stand up. Now.

Speaker 1:

What happened when I made that choice was a fucking core wound started to rear its ugly head, a new one, and one that I hadn't resolved yet, one that through all my history as a comedian, as someone who'd been working, just even even the pre-thought. The pre-thought brought this fear up and it has been, dare I say, a rock in my shoe of the runner, of the splinter, of a runner, for my entire life, this entire time, and it's been crazy. And so maybe I had the breakthrough, maybe two weeks ago, and it was something very simple that I didn't realize had been permeating through my whole life, which is why I'm like it's the unbearable weight of Masasharam. I feel like, having this breakthrough, I am catching up to where I should have been, dare I say, the entire time. But also, having this breakthrough, I realize that the road ahead of me, like I'm just trying to hold on to whatever I'm about to create, that's what it feels like. It feels like the future is incredibly bright and I'm just trying to hold on to what it is or what it could be. So let me ask you this, gangster, let me ask you this what do you think the breakthrough is All right? Lock it in in the comments. And also, while you're at it, if you're listening to the Spotify version or the me, ask you this what do you think the breakthrough is all right? Lock it in in the comments, uh, and also, while you're at it, um, if you're on, if you're listening to the spotify version or the instant, whatever, the, the audio only version, that's on all the other platforms um, uh, there is a fan mail button somewhere in the description so you can press that and it'll. You'll be able to send me a message and I'll be able to read it and reply through the podcast. Hello, so he'd come to.

Speaker 1:

The breakthrough was was that, before every gig, I was struggling. After every gig, I was struggling With human connection, I was struggling With networking. I was struggling. After every gig, I was struggling With human connection, I was struggling With networking. I was struggling With all the things, the whole experience. I was struggling, and I realized the entire time that the thing I was struggling with Well, I'm going to wait for the train to pass by, because I don't know if you can hear the train or not. I don't know, I don't think you can the thing I was struggling with the entire time was love.

Speaker 1:

I found love hard to feel and, weirdly enough, that is the breakthrough that I struggle with feeling love and therefore, as a result, I think I'm failing. Now, what does this mean? This means that any love that I felt, whether it was performative, whether it was a view on Instagram or a post, or even people who follow this podcast, hey, I would struggle to feel, and therefore my default nervous system response was when I felt it, I was, I was a failure. I was oh, because I struggled to feel it, that everyone else can feel it easier than me, which was my projection.

Speaker 1:

I was a failure, and so this was something that, like, it's an interesting breakthrough, because it's one of those ones where I realized, oh, I just find it hard to feel love, that's it. I just find it hard to feel. Now, what does that mean? Does that mean that I'm not feeling it? No, I just find it hard to feel, and maybe it's a human thing, maybe that's just how it goes. You know what I mean. Like, maybe that's just the experience of human condition, maybe that's just me specifically, but whatever it was, I've recognized that there are some things I just struggle to feel, and if I struggle to feel it, that doesn't mean I'm failing. Now, what happens after? That is a beautiful part of the psychological process that I love. That is when you learn something. Does it cross-permeate into other areas? Well, yes, it does? It's a rhetorical question. Does it cross-permeate into other parts of your life? Hell, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So my mind has started to unravel, to unravel, unravel massively, because what are all the other things that I struggle to feel and that I find hard to feel when I feel like I'm struggling? There is a lot. First of all, this the podcast. What is the name of the podcast? Oh, I'm struggling with that, but am I failing? No, so I'm watching my nervous system re-knit. I'm watching it re-knit as it's coming together, as it's like, dude, you just have.

Speaker 1:

So basically, what I've done is I've realized that every time I feel something positive that could be leaning me, that could help me feel love or feel more love, I've also lumped onto that a sensation of I've failed. So now my nervous system is getting rid of the I've failed and just collecting the success, no matter how small, no matter how much I've struggled with it. So coming up with the name of the podcast is a good example of that. I haven't fully unraveled it yet, but I'm starting to see my mind unravel it with jokes. It's like, yeah, coming up with jokes is fucking hard. That's just the flavor of it. But I didn't realize. The entire time I've been telling myself I failed. Every time I found it hard at the same time as just finding it hard. Connecting with people, networking all of this stuff. I am watching. I'm in a beautiful state right now. I am watching my mind unravel real time massive amounts of, I would say, projected failure, and just to see what is going to happen next, I think is going to be real exciting. So, first of all, one of the breakthroughs I realized was, for example, with YouTube Like what am I doing? With my channel? I was always like am I doing podcasts, am I doing sketches? Am I doing this or that? What am I doing? The answer is fucking everything.

Speaker 1:

I want the podcast to be a third or a quarter or a fifth of what is the actual stuff that I'm doing. I want high-budget production stuff, stuff that I'm doing. I want high budget production stuff. I want pieces of content that connect with people, that are deeper. Like, when I'm talking content, I'm talking wides, right, wide content, not shorts or reels or TikToks. That stuff is like willy-nilly. I don't come from that era. I'm not going to be like oh man, I really want to make a thousand TikToks. You know, I'm going to come from the era of the people that grew up with YouTube, which are the wide stuff which is movie style stuff.

Speaker 1:

I want dumb ass high production stuff on dumb jokes, as well as these podcasts, as well as standup clips as specials online, all that kind of stuff. Uh, cause, here's a fun fact these podcasts, even with like fucking 20 views, make me 13 cents. Now, imagine if that was 21 views, imagine if that was 2,000 views. That shit is crazy. Now there's a beep going off in the distance. I hope that you can't hear it, and if you can hear it, I hope I can cut it out, because that's really annoying and it really like fucks with my mind.

Speaker 1:

So I've started to see all of this stuff, and this podcast episode was called the unbearable weight of massive sharam, mostly because I am in an interesting phase where I'm just trying to hold on. There has been a psychological damn wall that I have put, I have put behind my mind that has stopped me from actually fully seeing who and what I am, and I am starting to open up, even networking, connecting with other comedians. I find it hard because I've been telling myself if I find it hard, I fail, and now I'm watching myself as a child. Just stand there, like, just stand there, connect with people that I already was good with connecting and just struggle. But here's the thing like let myself exist in the space without the struggle, without the constant telling myself I'm failing, as I'm there just standing there connecting with people. So if you're here at this stage in the journey, you are coming in at the Sharm Namdarian podcast journey, whatever we're calling it.

Speaker 1:

I was thinking just Sharm Namdarian's podcast, because wouldn't that be funny if it was just like hey, man, I can't believe you're on Sharm Namdarian's podcast and like what's it called? It's just called Sharm Namdarian's podcast, like that's the name of the podcast. But you are coming in at the ground level and this podcast is going to be the grassroots sort of interpretation of the entire journey. Like I'm excited for the future as my subconscious has unraveled, like I'm trying new jokes, I'm remembering them better. I'm like just because you struggle at something doesn't mean you've failed, and it's interesting because of the psychological response that has. Like it's there's a threshold.

Speaker 1:

And I've talked to other people about this breakthrough and they're like, yes, I feel the same thing. Sometimes love or success is just hard to feel and there's nothing more to it, and it's mostly because it's happening to us and we're just not climatized to it. So I don't know if there's any really funny point behind this podcast episode or any amazing point or anything, but I think that's it and mostly it was a test of this audio system. So what do you think? Let me know.