Livin' N Love
Join Rondo and Kimi as they share heartfelt conversations about marriage, love, and real-life obstacles. From navigating challenges to celebrating wins, we're here to make you laugh and keep it real.
Livin' N Love
When Faith Meets Grief: Our Journey Through Pregnancy Loss
This episode Kimi and Rondo share their deeply personal story of pregnancy loss, discussing how they've navigated grief together while finding strength in faith and family during the darkest moments of their marriage.
Whether you've experienced pregnancy loss or simply need encouragement through difficult times, this episode reminds us that even in our darkest moments, we can still find ways of living in love. Follow us @LivinLovepod on Instagram to connect with us.
Got a question or topic you want us to cover? Email us at: livinlovepodcast@gmail.com
Hi, I'm Kimmy and I'm Rondo and we are living in love. Welcome back y'all. It is another week of living in love with Kimmy and Rondo. Hey, what's? Going on, hi babe, I don't need you. Hey, what's going on. Hello, hello, hi babe.
Speaker 2:Hey, I don't reach you. I'm not the sexiest.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's been two. No, I don't know how long it's been since we recorded last, but it feels like it's been a minute. By the time you all hear this, you will have heard our last episode, which was our first one, and I think it's a hit. I don't know, I'm just predicting the future. What do you think?
Speaker 2:I think it was a good conversation. Yeah, I felt good about it.
Speaker 1:So yeah, definitely yeah, y'all, let us know, y'all, let us know what you think um how are you I? I'm wonderful yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1:We are blessed and highly favored.
Speaker 2:I feel phenomenal. Me too, I feel great today.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And how are you? I'm doing good. It's been a great day. Today was 73 degrees, and it was Was it? It was 73 degrees today.
Speaker 2:I didn't notice that.
Speaker 1:I had on fleece, you did, you had on a whole and they talked about me at work. You didn't tell me that no they did.
Speaker 2:They said you hot, they was like this guy, he making me hot. I'm like what y'all what's going on, because it was a breeze, I was fine, I didn't realize it was 73.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was 73 degrees. And you had on a long sleeve shirt yes, I did and a fleece and your work vest to go on top of that.
Speaker 2:And a hat they made fun of me, but I stood. I stood my ground, as you should, to keep the faith in such hard times.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:You got to stick to it I agree, yeah, yeah to it. I agree, yeah, yeah. Forget that I was rebuking now in jesus name you got your shoes.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. I'm trying to think like what's a, what's like a highlight of today that you had? Well, we, we both had a highlight together, but we don't keep that one to ourselves. But what's the highlight that you had of the day?
Speaker 2:The highlight today that I had, I think, just confirmation, Confirmation from the Lord in everything that I prayed for, things that I was praying for, and just receiving that confirmation and seeing you know when you pray to God, you just wait. You know everybody, I think anybody that prays, and that is a prayer, a prayer warrior. You tend to wait and that waiting period is very tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you wait, and then you feel like you don't hear from God.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that makes you like oh God, are you listening?
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And you wait and wait, and sometimes that waiting can be like right away, and sometimes it can go, you know, a long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I felt like this time my prayers was I was waiting for a long period of time, and then today there was that confirmation.
Speaker 1:And then when?
Speaker 2:I received that confirmation, I was able to rejoice and feel that overwhelming joy and happiness. Yeah, so that was what it was for me.
Speaker 1:I love that and feel that overwhelming joy and happiness.
Speaker 2:So that was what it was for me.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that for real. I'm trying to think what a highlight of my day was. I feel like we had the same highlight, but I will say like you be making fun of me because you be like babe, I told you, I told you you know, and I tend to.
Speaker 1:I worry a lot, y'all. I am, let me not claim that, but worrying follows me. It no longer does, because I'm going to speak that into existence. But, yeah, like Rondo said, it has been. These times have been trying and we have been tested on so many levels and being able to see a light, no matter how bright it is or no matter how dull it is, it's just refreshing to be able to, kind of like, see the fruits of the Lord. So, yeah, highlight, I don't know, it's just been a good day all around. Started off amazing, yeah, and it just continued to increase from there.
Speaker 1:And now I get to sit here with you and record this podcast, absolutely, which is another fruit of the lord. Because, yeah, it's like, if you really like, dissect our story, we told y'all our story last week. It's like I'm sitting here with a stranger recording a podcast, but he's not much, he's not a stranger anymore. I'm just saying it's crazy, like we met online and we were strangers and now we're sitting here recording a whole podcast married. That's just wild to me. But that's neither here nor there y'all. I do want to tell a little funny story, because this episode is a little heavy but funny story y'all my husband saved my life yesterday. I feel like the lord always directs him to save my life, but let me story y'all my husband saved my life yesterday. I feel like the lord always directs him to save my life, but let me tell y'all how he saved my life yesterday. So, and he don't even know I was about to tell this story, so I did, did you? Do you know what I'm about to say? I don't, I'm clueless.
Speaker 2:He saved my life. I'm blindsided.
Speaker 1:We're gonna talk about this so I am a shower queen. I take showers twice a day. In the summer sometimes three times a day. Oh, I take a lot of showers. So yesterday I came home, I was ready to take a shower, y'all. I get in the shower and there's a spider on the shower wall. So naturally I screamed for my husband and he saved my life and he, he, he came and got the spider. He tried to keep the spider alive because if y'all know my husband, he loves animals, arachnoids, insects, arachnids not arachnoids spiders, the spiders like he.
Speaker 2:Literally I would say he would not kill a fly.
Speaker 1:Like he, literally I would say he would not kill a fly.
Speaker 2:No, I don't kill a fly. I like my spiders. I want my spiders to take care of the flies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the thing. So he creates a home for the spiders and leopards I mean lizards. You got leprosy.
Speaker 2:Excuse me, I'm sorry you went to, she went right to the bull, john Leprosy. Leprosy, no, no, the spiders, I mean the flies got to go.
Speaker 1:I don't like flies, I can't stand flies.
Speaker 2:Lizards eat flies.
Speaker 1:Spiders eat flies.
Speaker 2:I love spiders, I love lizards and stuff like that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, either way, though, he took care of the spider, but y'all I get into the shower and another bug pops up, and so naturally, again I scream, and naturally my husband came and saved my life. So Thank you Jesus for my husband. He saved my life Two times. I just thought that was funny. This is hilarious. The Lord knew what he was doing any kind of book I don't want to do it. Yeah, I don't want to do it but welcome to this week's episode.
Speaker 1:Y'all, um, I will say today's episode is a little, but we're sharing it because we understand life is not perfect and it's not always about sunshine and butterflies. Sometimes life will really pull you down to a dark spot, and we're going to be discussing something that pulled us both down into a really, really dark spot. But we're also going to talk about how we got through it, how we're getting through it and what it's like to be on the other side. And I just want to say, before we jump into it, we are not professional counselors, so please don't you know every situation is different for everybody. We're just sharing our story.
Speaker 2:Yeah Along with what you were going to say. Um, I just wanted to um take make note, and I wanted to put that out there, that it's literally been two months I just yeah. I just looked at the date it's been two months, yeah, so I mean we're gonna get into that, obviously, but I just wanted to tell you that it's been two months yeah, yeah, I reflected on that yesterday.
Speaker 1:It's been two months, so I think a lot of people know, because I announced it. But late last year, um, shortly after, actually, the day we got married, we got pregnant and we found out. I just wasn't, I wasn't feeling well and I just was like, let me just take a test, like I just felt an inkling to take a test. Now I took the test and did not tell rondo that I was gonna take the test. He was upset, rightfully so you know.
Speaker 2:No, no, I wasn't really upset, I was disappointed I wasn't upset. I just was eager to know the results you know what I? Mean so? No, you're fine, that's what you, that's what you're here for, yeah but I just I didn't want to take over your story because you was telling me so go ahead yeah, so we found out we were pregnant um and this is our second time finding out that we were pregnant.
Speaker 1:Last year we also were pregnant in was that march of last year? Yeah, somewhat yeah, and I ended up having a miscarriage seven weeks later. Then we got pregnant again in october.
Speaker 2:No, no wait, I'm sorry that was may.
Speaker 1:That was in may may is when um I had the miscarriage. Yeah, yeah, but we found out that we were pregnant in March. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my bad Okay.
Speaker 1:So yeah, we found out we were pregnant. We got pregnant on our wedding night, the second time around. Yeah, second time around. But we found out in November that we were officially pregnant and like we were overjoyed. Of course, you know there were reservations because of the previous loss, but we were overjoyed. Of course you know there were reservations because of the previous loss, but we were so excited. Yeah, how did you feel when we found out we were pregnant the second time around?
Speaker 2:the second time around, when I found out we were pregnant because I was in the kitchen. I think I was cooking, wasn't? I wasn't I cooking, that was the first time you find out.
Speaker 1:The second time, you were actually getting ready to take um the girls back to where they live. You know, I'm I'm sure I remember what I was wearing.
Speaker 2:Oh wait because I know you text me, you text me and I went in a room, I went in the bedroom, yeah, and I saw the uh test and I had no idea but I was, I mean, I was happy like I was, I was very excited, you know that's all I could think about I. That's all I could think about. I remember that's all I could think about that day.
Speaker 1:That's all I could think about.
Speaker 2:Even the drive taking the girls back you know what I'm saying and dropping them off. You know, I was just very, very excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, me too I was not feeling well, but I remember like just being excited, those were kind of our initial reactions and it was just exciting to know that we were. You know, we had another chance. And I will say too, just to be transparent in a way it felt like God was really blessing our marriage, because the previous time we had gotten pregnant we weren't married, and so it felt like a real blessing, Like God is blessing us, and I don't know if that's wrong to say. Is that wrong to say that it felt like a reward for being married and like under God's provision when we got pregnant the second time.
Speaker 2:I mean I wouldn't say it's wrong to say, because I mean God honors marriage you know what I mean. So I won't ever say that that's wrong to say what you just said, because God, his expectation for you is to be married.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And to have children. You know, in that marriage Right. So you know, when you come together and you make the covenant with God, that's the expectation. Hey, you know, then you are able to have children instead of you know, just picking somebody and they're saying shot at nobody or shade to nobody, but it's just, that's what god's order is yeah, yeah, that's what we all done been there, but yeah.
Speaker 1:So it just felt like a real blessing and it was for sure. And we had been attending our ultrasound appointments. Everything was fine. Doctor said everything was fine and it was just like a really exciting time. We I think we waited to tell family. I told my mom and sister right away I did yeah, because I was actually. I told my mom right away, my sister, I waited a little bit but I told my mom out of fear and my sister kind of just found out because she could tell that I wasn't feeling well.
Speaker 1:Shout out to you, liz. Shout out to my mama too. But like I didn't tell, when did we tell the world? I think it was January. When did you tell the world? I was so eager to tell everybody y'all? Yeah, that's because it's exciting it's like oh, I want to tell, I want to tell. So yeah, I told the world in january, so I think we were three months pregnant at that point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you didn't hold it, I was, you know, actually proud of you for, you know, because you stuck to what you said, that you wanted to do, like I mean this time around, and you did hold out for a while, but you mentioned it a million times and I was like, okay, whatever you want to do, Like I was just trying to be supportive of what you wanted to do and how you felt, like that was. My main concern was okay, are you comfortable with that?
Speaker 2:You know, what I mean. Like, if you're going to do, do that, are you comfortable with that? You know? Yeah, um so, yeah, but you did. You did hold out for a while before you said anything. You know, and that's what you, that's what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I think I did hold out for a long time because if it was up to me, I probably would have told, like the day I found out, like y'all, I'm pregnant yeah, so we went to an appointment.
Speaker 2:It was basically like a simple, um you know doctor's appointment which just kind of like turned into a whole different kind of thing.
Speaker 1:You know and yeah, so yeah, it shifted everything and from that point on I'm not gonna lie like it was extremely scary. The worries increased and it was just a really, really difficult time.
Speaker 2:I ended up we just we had no idea what was about to take place, yeah, we had no idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I honestly thought everything was fine, okay, everything it seemed okay, everything was just going well. We were just having a good time that day. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it's a lot that we really don't want to. We really are not going to go into detail about. But yeah, it was a lot of things. Once we look back on it now it's like wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I wish I'd have known.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I feel like there was a lot of information, education that was left out and it really changed my perspective on healthcare. It changed my perspective on how important it is to that we talk about this a lot, but how important it is to be your own doctor. Like I want to be smarter than the doctors when I walk into the room from you know, here on out. But yeah, so that appointment changed the trajectory of everything. We ended up, you know, being in the hospital for an extended period of time and during that time, we ended up losing the baby, which was something that we had no idea. We didn't see it coming and, like Rondo said, we're not going to go into a lot of details, but we just, yeah, we ended up losing her, it just didn't make sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, none of it made sense to me. I suspected that there was some. You know, I don't know if I want to say foul play, I don't know if that's necessary to say. I just feel like we were misinformed. And I feel like that, there wasn't a necessary precautions to be taken. It should have been. You know what I mean. To ensure that we were having a successful pregnancy. I think you know the information that was given to us should have been given to us way sooner than it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah information that was given to us should have been given to us way sooner than it was. Yeah, and it resulted in, you know, the loss of our child, which you know resulted also in heartbreak yeah for us and you know, like, like you said earlier, like you know, we getting through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, we were just going, you know, we were still. I feel like even now it was two months ago and we still dealing with that. You know, I don't know. It's tough to talk about for me.
Speaker 2:And I know for you too, but I really don't know what really to say about anything Because, like I said, I can't really make sense of what happened. My first time experiencing something like this because, again, I have kids, right, and I've never experienced that, like with times when I, when you know, my kids were, uh, in the womb and everything like that I never experienced these kind of issues. Yeah, I experienced some issues, though, but not to this magnitude right and so it just caught me by surprise.
Speaker 2:It was just like a, really like you know, catching me off guard.
Speaker 1:Like just side swipe, Like wow.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, yeah, and it's like we experienced all of the emotions Anger, frustration, sadness, confusion All of those things are happening in one moment. I'm getting emotional, yeah. So it was just a really, really hard time and I think that the only way that we got through it is leaning on each other, but also leaning on God ultimately and I'm not going to lie Like when this first happened, like I questioned my faith because I just didn't understand, like I just don't understand. I still partially, I'm not gonna say I'm struggling with my faith, but I still I don't understand the situation. I don't understand why it had to happen the way it did, but I do know that I was not trusting in God fully, um, during the time, and you know what?
Speaker 2:you told me that and that was my you know um that was. That was the only way I could make sense of whatever happened, yeah, you know, you told me. You said you know what we should have stood out, stood on faith, yeah, stood on faith with God.
Speaker 1:We should have stood on faith.
Speaker 2:We should have stood on faith with God. We should have been more in tune with him.
Speaker 1:We should have been praying more.
Speaker 2:We should have been fasting and really you know what I'm saying like seeking him.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Guiding us and that just we learn that now, and you know, I'm telling you, it is so important to have God as your foundation.
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean Because I'm telling you he so important to have god as your foundation. You know what I mean? Because I'm telling you he is a miracle worker and even today, like he worked, like I was, we was just talking about this, yeah, before, before we started recording like man, he, he can't do for us today, yes, and you know, like we didn't even expect it at all just get us off guard blindsided in the best way the testament to this is how great god is like you know, he's, he's so magnificent, he's a miracle worker, he can, he can do anything, you know, yeah, so yeah just like rondo was saying, like he is really a miracle worker, and I like that.
Speaker 1:This experience has exposed to me how important it is to not put trust in man like it don't matter how much a doctor thinks they know it, don't matter how much people think they know it it does not matter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was the ultimate test and I hate to say that I failed but it it's like yeah you know you failed on this one, so it was just an extremely hard time and I truly could not have gotten through this time without you. I don't get to say that to you enough, but y'all he held it down Like I can't even put into words how much he held it down, but it's like this. This was the ultimate heartbreak. Like I would not wish this heartbreak on anybody and it's not talked about as much as it should be like and it sucks because it's like you know, going through this and then hearing how many women have experienced these same things, it's just like dang. I wish I would have known this sooner.
Speaker 1:But also, like we realize in this walk, how much of a lack there is, of a I don't think I said that right how much support is lacking even for fathers in this situation, like my husband just you know I don't want to expose your emotions too much, but it's just like you know he was going through it as well and I feel like a lot of the resources are just focused on the mother, which I understand. But also like fathers experience the hurt too. They experience the pain too, and that was revealed to me throughout this whole experience as well. Like it's important, like they experienced the loss too, and even like going through the arrangements for our daughter. You know a lot of the support was directed towards me, like mom, how are you doing? Oh well, at least you have your husband to lean on, but it's like he needs somebody to lean on as well, and I try my best to do that, but recognizing that you know I'm experiencing the grief too, so I think my family also helped in getting us both through too.
Speaker 2:And I don't know, like her family man, I'm telling y'all, like I've never been, I've never been with somebody that their family is the way her family is like. She's so family oriented, they are so family oriented. That's just how they get down. She comes from a very good family. You know what I'm saying. They're very supportive.
Speaker 1:When you win, you win, and I ain't trying to be out Because you have a choice, but you chose. That's what my mom would say all the time Shout out to my mom, shout out to my.
Speaker 2:She said that all the time she say you know, you got a choice now. Yes, ma'am, I made my choice yeah, choice so yeah, I love them so much, man, like for real, I'm just I'm just so you know overwhelmed with that kind of love because you know I've been through a lot in my life y'all like, and if I had to tell y'all my story, we're gonna get there yeah yeah, many more to talk about, but if I'll tell y'all I guess it'll be, it'll be a book.
Speaker 2:I could write a book. I'm not even gonna lie to you. I might write a book. But I've been through a lot in my life and to meet, you know, the woman that God made for me and you know, to have this love that I have with her and to be accepted by her family and everything like that was just a wonderful thing. So you know, I don't want to get too off topic because you know, I know we're talking about the baby.
Speaker 1:You're fine babe.
Speaker 2:But yeah, this was just a very tough one it's just a very tough one and I'm a strong person with everything that I've been through. But this one right here, like it really broke me down and I'm not even gonna lie to y'all like I'm still recovering from it, even last night. I even told Kimmy last night like I had a hard time. I hope I didn't get too ahead of her.
Speaker 1:No, you're fine.
Speaker 2:I told her last night I was like I like to sleep on the couch.
Speaker 1:It irritates the mess out of your heart. She don't like it.
Speaker 2:I like to sleep on the couch, but I'm just so used to it. That's my domain, that's where I'm comfortable. It's not that I don't want to sleep by her Like if she know I'll be like, hey, go sleep on the couch with me, come on.
Speaker 1:She's like no, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2:And I'll be like you know, that's just where I like to be, you know, and there's guys out there.
Speaker 1:They might understand, they might, you know. Guys, you know, be careful with me, have my back. Put a clear word for me, cause he's failing In my book, sleeping on the couch.
Speaker 2:You know we like to watch our sports, play our video games and, you know, just hang out.
Speaker 1:I ain't never met somebody who liked being in the dog house. What'd you say? I said I ain't never met somebody who liked being in the doghouse.
Speaker 2:Well, I ain't no dog.
Speaker 1:You are not a dog.
Speaker 2:But you know, I like being on my couch.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And last night she got up and she was like okay, I'm going in her room, I'm going to bed. And I was like, okay, I was like okay and I know maybe some men can, you know, kind of understand where I'm coming from when I say this when she walked away, you know, I was kind of relieved because I just needed a moment to deal with my emotions. And y'all, I'm telling y'all I broke down. I'm telling y'all I broke down. I broke down to the point where I cried myself to sleep because I was just so overwhelmed with so much pain, so much disappointment Doing this when you're grieving like this and you?
Speaker 2:take this kind of loss, sometimes you blame yourself. Sometimes you blame yourself, you try to find answers and then there's no answer for it. You know. There's no, you know, explanation. There's nothing that you can do or say to explain what happened. And you know, I just had I just got really, really low and very, very emotional to the point where I just I literally just cried myself to sleep and I needed that moment, you know.
Speaker 2:And like I said, I know me, I love being around my wife, I love her being right there, but I just didn't want her to see me in that moment to hurt, because I always as a husband, as a man, I'm always trying to be strong for her, even though she's like, oh, baby, you don't have to. I understand I'm fortunate to have a wife that's like, hey, babe, you okay, you don't need to be. She cares about my emotions and my feelings and stuff. But I just needed that moment. You know what I'm saying. I just needed to just deal with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:By myself, and I didn't want to bring her down either, because you know, it's easy, like with us grieving and what we're going through. It's easy Like we start thinking about it, she start, or one of us, whoever, and then it's like yeah, and we just gone yeah, it's over with. And it's like yeah, and we just go yeah, it's over with, and it's just because it's just so painful. But you know, I'm going to take that.
Speaker 1:No, you're good. Yeah, it's hard, but I think having someone to go through it with makes the weight a little less heavy and we will never forget our baby girl and I think we will continue to carry her with us and honor her. As we, you know, move forward, not move on. My therapist told me that those are two different things moving forward and moving on completely different. There's a difference between moving on and forgetting. But moving forward means that you're, you know you're carrying what was with you forward with you. I don't know if that makes sense. I hope it does, but I hope that helps somebody. So that's, that was our experience. It's still fresh. I mean, it's only been eight weeks, which is crazy because for some reason it feels like it's been longer, but it does yeah, because it's only been two.
Speaker 2:It's only been two months eight weeks, yeah and it feels. It feels like a long time ago it feels like I don't know. It kind of feels like a year you know well yeah well, maybe not a year, maybe a half year, I don't know, but it don't feel like it was two months ago, it just kind of feels a little longer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think grief does that to you. It distorts time.
Speaker 2:And I don't you know what. Honestly, I'll say this though, babe that scares me too, Because our motto since then has been we'll never forget you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and every time.
Speaker 2:I think about that y'all. I'm getting a little emotional. It just that gets to me, because it's like I don't want to forget her.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because we still going through this and we still, like the goal is to recover from this and also moving forward. We want to be successful in having a child. So, yeah, it's like I don't want to forget her. So every time I hear those words it kind of, you know, hurts my heart and, by the way, we get her cremated.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We did get her cremated and everything.
Speaker 1:She sits right next to us. Yes.
Speaker 2:So we wanted to do something where we didn't. We wanted to do something where we knew for sure we wouldn't forget her. So we wanted to have a remembrance of her, and we did that to take her birthday each year, take that day off to be together and reflect.
Speaker 1:So this is a warning, this is a notification to our employers that every year we will be taking her birthday off. But we just want to make sure she is our child and we will continue to treat anything dealing with her as such, and also I want to say I think I'm a little bit off topic it's okay, even with what we're going through.
Speaker 2:I forgot to mention the girls' reaction to it and they were very, you know, being honest, they was kind of, because they I don't think they understand a lot you know at the age that they are but they were. They were very supportive. Yeah, like the old, my oldest, she was very, you know, emotional and very supportive and, you know, understanding and just trying to be there in everything, even though she didn't really know how to feel. They were honest with us, but then it was also very supportive. Think I had a moment with my baby girl and uh, and I know what that was, because she, she, we, I had the moment that we had. Was she like? We had a little moment where she broke down, I broke down and she really wanted a sibling, she wanted somebody younger than her. You know her being the baby, she's just like, oh yeah, you know, I was looking forward to being a big sister you know.
Speaker 2:So we had a little moment and I had a private conversation with her. She broke down and that man that tore me up I'm not going to lie that tore me up, and when Kimmy heard it it kind of tore her up a little bit too. So, yeah, girls, you know they you know. I just wanted to express, like you know, how they took everything.
Speaker 1:And that's another thing too, like I just want to speak to like how God will restore you in other areas, but it will still speak back to the very thing that you're going through, the fact that I married a man with three daughters. Like a lot of people would be like, oh, you got kids. Uh-uh, you know that type of thing Y'all these girls have literally like restored. I can't explain it, but it's just like I've always wanted to be a mother and I know I'm not their biological mother.
Speaker 2:But but you do a great job. Thanks, babe you do a great job she does. Y'all should see her y'all, she do it. I'm sorry not to cut you.
Speaker 1:No, it's okay, I just had to throw you in there exactly I gave you your flowers.
Speaker 2:You get that no she does an outstanding job, like y'all, just like man, I wish I wish I had a camera set up somewhere like a reality show kind of situation, big brother she does a great job with them, like man. They respect her, they I, I know they like I know my kid. They admire her, they respect her. You know me is different, you know I'm not gonna lie, I'm a sucker. I'm a sucker.
Speaker 1:They can get anything out of me can you crack a whip.
Speaker 2:She said oh, we ain't gonna have it. Yeah, structure woman of the house. She said she shut it all down, me and that girl. So you know, y'all dads out there, y'all know what I'm talking about you spoil your girls. My mama come around, it's a wrap, it's a wrap. Nope, we ain't having it, no you're good.
Speaker 1:But yeah, like I just thank God because he really like he knows the desires of our hearts. And even before I met Rondo, like I knew I wanted family, I wanted to be a mom, and it like happened in the most unconventional way, but it's just like I thank God for all three of them, like they really it's like the best case scenario. I can't even explain it. Like we have fun, we joke around, you know, of course, like you said, when it's time to crack with a whip and no, I ain't beating no kids.
Speaker 1:Not like that. But I'm just saying, like they, they, they respect me and that's like, that's unheard of, like, just think about that, like, like, coming into a situation where you know you are a stepmother or you know that can be really really hard and daunting, but they make it so easy and you thought they weren't going to like you.
Speaker 2:I thought they weren't going to like me. You thought they weren't going to like you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love those girls down, so shout out to them. They love you, they love you yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, that is amazing, yeah, yeah, I'm like where do we go from here, babe? Do you have like, okay, because, like I said, this is a really, really common situation. What advice would you give to other fathers? Or like, what advice would you give to fathers? Because I feel like I this is my opinion, but we've already expressed this I feel like men don't get to really feel in situations like these, which isn't fair, and so, when it comes to pregnancy loss or even, you know, pregnancy struggles, what advice would you give to fathers and even mothers who are experiencing the things that we've experienced?
Speaker 2:you. You know what I would say stay the course, stay the course, continue trusting God. If you're a believer I hope you're a believer. If you're a believer, listen, stay the course, have faith, continue on. If you are trust in God, everything's going to be fine. That's my biggest thing. Like we said earlier, I feel like we should have trusted God a little more. We should have allowed him to guide us through what we're going through, when times get hard that is what he is there for to guide you through what you're going through.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. He always said he would never leave you nor forsake you. So that means anything that you're dealing with it don't matter what it is, how hard it is, how bad it is. He's going to be right there with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:We just thought we gave you another scenario, an example of earlier, when I said I was praying and you know I was waiting for God's answer and he answered me and that is such an incredible feeling. I'm telling you, if you have little faith or whatever, I'm telling you, just stay the course. God is going to show up in your life. Y'all they, they love that old saying he may not come when you want him, but he's gonna be there right on time. That's what they say. They wear that out out.
Speaker 1:Who is they? We don't know.
Speaker 2:Old church folks say that it's real though.
Speaker 1:That's not a lie.
Speaker 2:God is going to show up, like the scriptures say. You find the light in the Lord. He'll give you the desires of your heart. You better preach. Just stay the course. That's what I would say. I can't make it no plainer than that. Stay the course.
Speaker 1:Trust in god, everything's gonna be fine I love that yeah, and I mean to piggyback on what you're saying. Like piggyback is such a corporate phrase. To piggyback on what you're uh, what you're stating, no, but like, honestly, it is so important to know like, just because someone says something does not make that the end all be all. They are not god, it don't matter how much they know like god can intervene, intercede, intervene and change the whole trajectory. So, like he said, like stay the course and trust. Like I feel like that's such a word that's thrown around, but really trust in god, like it is so, so, so important remind me of that old song back in the day how we go sing georgia, mass Georgia, mass Choir.
Speaker 2:She said Jesus is my doctor and he writes out All my scriptures. She said scriptures.
Speaker 1:That's how you know it's real.
Speaker 2:She ain't said she trusted God. So much.
Speaker 1:She ain't need the first few.
Speaker 2:She said scriptures.
Speaker 1:My man can sing y'all.
Speaker 2:That song deep though we playing them. Old hymns, them old songs like that. That was real, that was ministering to us that song right there. That was a song For such a time as this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. And I would say too, for moms or women who are know, who are dealing with pregnancy loss, just know, like I want to first say it is not your fault. I also want to say, like, love your body, understand that your body is a temple.
Speaker 1:Understand that your body is a temple, and I believe that in situations of pregnancy, loss is because the womb is so powerful, like what you are producing can have the potential to change a life, and I feel like the enemy really tries to come after that, and I just think like that's why it's so important to cling fast to God, hold on to him. I can't even fully explain what it is that I want to say, but just like, understand that your body is a temple, treat it as such, pray over your womb, make sure that you are really creating a relationship with God that allows you to feel comfortable in trusting in God but also fearless in stepping into the calling that he has for you, and I believe that if motherhood is a desire of your heart, then he will not fall short on that promise. So there's that, and also there's, like, so much I want to say, but I don't know how to say it.
Speaker 2:Well, let me add to what you said. I'm going to go to the scripture for a second, and I'm going to talk about a story of Abraham and the Bible and his wife with Sarah. And Sarah couldn't have a baby and, if I'm not mistaken, abraham slept with another woman. What was her?
Speaker 1:name Habakkuk. What's that her name? I feel like it was Hagar Hagar.
Speaker 2:You see I'm lying. We need to get it out of the back of the word Wrong person. We need a bible on sex. I was close, anyway, and he got her pregnant. She had a baby, and Sarah didn't have a baby Until later on in her Older life. She was old and she just so happened to get pregnant and they had a baby. And the reason why I'm bringing that story up Is because she was old.
Speaker 2:She was old and she just so happened to get pregnant and they had a baby, and the reason why I'm bringing that story up is because you know, I know there's women out there that think they can't have a baby because of what the doctors say, like you just said, and because of, oh, you got this kind of complication in this thing. Remember, god is still the same God yesterday, today and forevermore. He will still do the same works he did before. You understand, thousands of years ago he did those works. He can still do those same works today. His power ain't ran out.
Speaker 1:It's everlasting.
Speaker 2:So for anybody out there that's dealing with like, oh, I'm trying to have a baby, I want to have a baby, and you feel like you can't. I got a sister. You know my sister. She feels that way. She feels like, oh, maybe I can't, maybe I can't.
Speaker 1:No, that's a lie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't you know? That's part of your purpose. That's part of your purpose right here, to be here and to reproduce, yeah, but, like I said, you got got to develop a relationship with God too. You know what I'm saying. God is going to bless you, he's going to bless you, but you just got to know what your purpose is. And you got to know, you got to have a relationship with him and you got to ask him, like I said, find the light in the Lord.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But you definitely can receive that blessing and you know what I'm saying from the Lord, just as long as you serve him. That's all he's asking of you is to serve him.
Speaker 1:My husband is a preacher. I don't know if y'all can hear it, but he was meant to lead, so we would love to hear from you all Any comments, you know, advice that you may have for other parents, you know, fathers, mothers, women, men, whatever, like. We would just love to hear what you have. This episode was very heavy so and yeah, I think it's so it's good to sit in there.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we did I'm proud of us, yeah I thought it'd be a lot worse.
Speaker 1:Me too, me too.
Speaker 2:We'll get through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but yeah, so let us know what you think, let us know what you want to hear from us. If you want to talk about pregnancy loss or anything, message us, message me, I don't know. Message somebody and I would love to talk about those things and, yeah, kind of create community and also like bring awareness to these situations, because you're not talked about enough. I keep saying that, but it's so, so true. I mean, we just encourage anybody who feels like you know it's not happening for them, like it will happen, so be patient, it's coming. Yeah, I'm such an awkward episode, ender.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll say listen, you know what Our podcast is called Living in Love.
Speaker 1:And you know what.
Speaker 2:That's what I want to continue to enforce and be to you all. Hey, our Living in Love is we're living in love with each other, we're living in love with the Lord. We're living in love with the Lord. We're living in love with our children, family life, whatever that means to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Always Living in love. Thanks so much for listening to Living in Love this week. If you're looking for more of us, you can follow us on Instagram at L-I-V-I-N-L-O-V-E-P-O-D. That's Live in Love, pod. Otherwise, we'll see you next week. Keep living in love, y'all.