Passion Pays Later | Jethro Sulayao | Sean’s Learning Adventure

In this episode of Sean’s Learning Adventure, I sit down with international pageant coach Jethro Sulayao for a powerful conversation about confidence, communication, mindset, personal growth, and what it really takes to reinvent yourself. 

We talk about his journey from teaching English in Vietnam to coaching beauty queens for the international stage, and how he balanced stability with passion instead of making reckless moves. What really stood out to me was his belief that mindset comes before performance, that before someone can own the stage, answer under pressure, or carry real presence, they have to believe in who they are first. We also get into executive presence, authenticity, stage confidence, handling pressure, finding your voice, and why real success comes from showing up consistently, trusting your value, and choosing growth every single day. This is a conversation about communication skills, self-belief, resilience, personal branding, and becoming the kind of person who does not copy the standard, but sets it.

What is one area of your life where you know it is time to stop playing safe and start becoming more fully yourself?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You cannot say like you're good enough. You know what you you know you know for a fact that you're good. It's just that people are striving also to be better. People are striving also to be good, to be great on what their crafts are or what they do. And so you cannot be, you know, like idle, even just for a moment, or like, you know, um just do nothing. It's always a decision, and it's always you have to choose to do it every single day, even if it's hard, even if you felt like some things are not working on my favor. You just have to do it. You just have to keep on reminding yourself, I need to and I must, and you have to choose it every day.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Welcome everybody back to Sean's Learning Adventure. This is a podcast uh that talks all about communication and learning to present yourself in a fun way. No better guest to have than the one sitting right in front of me. Now, would you like to tell people who you are and what you do?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Okay, hello everyone. I am Jethro Ishisulayo, your international pageant coach and catwalk, or should I say passerella trainer? Yeah, um, and I'm based in Vietnam.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Yeah. Now, how how did you get into becoming an international pageant coach? I mean, I know that you came to Vietnam, but where did from coming to Vietnam to becoming this international passion coach at a pageant coach? Where did that begin? How did that start?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Okay, so um prior to big question, right? Yeah. Um, prior to coming to Vietnam, uh, I was actually a model before. And I used to um go to because I have a manager before who trains um catwalk for for beauty queens. And I keep on observing and stuff like that. But I don't have the, you know, the because in the Philippines, like put it in a context, like um a Christian country where not all types or forms of jobs are really accepted. And so, like me wearing stilettos or or like you know, um doing the catwalk with hips side to side and being uh soft is not really a thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Especially when you know my dad is uh you know um a pastor, and so it's it's kind of hard to really get out of the shell, even if it's just being creative. Because there are a lot of um some guys who do catwalk and teach catwalk, but they're straight. The thing is that with me, it makes it double harder because um my dad is a pastor and I'm a big guy, I'm a tough guy. So it's like uh I don't see myself doing it, and I don't give myself the chance to do it because of what other people might say. So, you know, that kind of thing. And so when I got into the yeah, um, so I've been teaching. Uh when I came to Vietnam, uh at first I was teaching, right? Then we managed this uh Miss Supernational 2013. So basically, she did like some training as well with us, and uh one time she just said, why don't you try it? Because um she has a flight to Poland. Um, like uh she arranged uh like a like prior, like um an appointment with someone, and so she said, I'm gonna take the job. So what I did was like, okay, let's try. And it just took it. It's basically she's supposed to train Mysteen International, um Vietnam, who will represent Vietnam to the competition, to the pageant. And so it's basically um an experiment of like me doing it, and also my partner was like putting insights and stuff. But then I'm half-hearted because uh I'm teaching, like my full-time job is a teacher. Then suddenly I'm jumping into another job, which is representing like training someone that will represent Vietnam in an international stage. And imagine it's like 29 years they've been sending candidates to that pageant, but never really made it to the to the cut, like uh even top 10, no. Until when we train her, and uh yeah, then suddenly, boom, crown for Vietnam. And it really like at 360 degrees that you know. I to be honest, I mean, to be fair, like uh I still love teaching English, yeah, but after that, I lost the interest in going to the to this to the school to teach English. I just want to focus on this, and yeah, that's what happened.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

You know, and so you you go started going down this path, and you know, it that definitely was a following your passion versus playing it safe type of vibe, because you know, a lot of us will have these dreams where, well, you know, I want to do this, but this is safe. And this is safe and it's easy. But was there a moment where you had to choose between stability and passion? And what mindset helped you make that decision, oh God?

SPEAKER_01 5:47

That is actually a tough question, you know. I keep on contemplating like, how would I answer this question in a way? Because um, of course, got bills to pay, uh visas, and I'm not living like in the Philippines. If I'm living in the Philippines, I would just like, okay, all out passion, you know? But I'm in another country where, you know, um it's different. I need to do stuff my own. And like I cannot rely on on family, on, you know, on my dad, or on my mom. And so I was like, okay, if I'm going to, will I abandon stability? Or, you know, um, I just go for for the passion. But then, you know, what I've had in my mind when I was like thinking, I think what really makes it difficult is you know, the the blind curve of being reckless. It's like, yeah, um, when you're reckless with your decision, it's like, okay, I'll do passion. But what will happen to you know, the bills that I need to pay, to things that I need to cater to? And so, you know, I'll so basically that's what I did, you know, is like uh what I did was like, okay, I still keep on teaching, but it's like, you know, um, okay, let's put it this way. You know, um, don't quit your job just because you're passionate about something. That's what I have in mind. It's like I didn't quit my job because I want my job to fuel the passion that I have. What if it's all like passion, passion, passion, then suddenly you know, you'll run out of resources? Because let's let's let's be honest, pageant is not like every day. Pageants are seasonal. So there's a season like June to December. That's pageant. But from January onwards until June or July, there's no there are no pageants. So what I'm gonna do with that? Yeah, and so what I did was okay, wow, um I'll work full time in the morning, but I tell the girls that if you really want me to handle you as a trainer, or if you want us, like RNJ as a trainer, then we have to wait. And so I think compartmentalizing your feelings also need to be there. It's like it's not just okay, like a spur of the moment, like, oh, I wanted to do this, then I'll quit my job. No, I think you have to be logical, you have to, you know, um have that sense of thinking that okay, um, what are the consequences of these actions? So I need to put it that way. But you know, while pursuing my passion until such time where I know that I can, or like uh I can do it already with my partner, is like, okay, I'll stop working and yeah, we'll do it like full time. So you have to wait, you have to have the right time. There will always be that instance that you say, like, okay, um I think I can do it already. And when my partner says, like, I think we can do it already without your daytime job, and this time I was like, okay, that's a ghost signal to quit. And then we focus on this to make it bigger. And my partner also quit quitted this job. And so at first it was like little by little, little step, little step, little step, because we need to consider our daytime job. But then once we said, like, okay, we can already do this without our daytime daytime job, and it suddenly is like boom. And it was like uh name, our names are like out there, our our failures are on the billboards. And I think you just have to have the right moment. And you will have that gut feeling, like, okay, now I can, I can, I can stop doing the daytime job. But yeah, um, as what you say, like jump into passion is not really like okay, especially when you're not stable, financially stable. But then, yeah, when you're financially stable, then basically it's easier to do your passion.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

100%. And I think that that's the thing. Like, you hear about different ways that people do it, you know. And I I I've heard people that burn the burn the boats, you know, you go forward no matter what. But at the same time, burning the boats is not always a good decision. You burn the boats, and you know, suddenly you have some problems, you know. But instead, um I think one of the things that always stuck with me is um I try to remember that there's room for all of it. There's room for your creativity, there's room for stability, there's room for this, and like, and there's no right way. Like, if I I know one friend that was building their side hustle while they had a main job. I have another friend who just quit everything and went the other way. And I think that like life is about having a goal that you're looking towards and then figuring it out around along the way. You know, maybe you do this and maybe you have to go do this, you know? And I think that being forgiving of yourself as you figure it out, but keeping your eyes toward your your North Star, keeping your vision toward what's really important to you.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yeah, um, basically it's like what is the priority? Like you can do things all at the same time, but will these things contribute for you to elevate and uh you know to get what you want? You know, um yeah, that's why I agree with what you said a while ago. There's no specific formula because um I think that we have our own ways or um ways on how we can reach our dreams. Some some things will work for us, but then some things won't, I mean, will work and some things won't work. And I think um the thing is that you know uh you just keep on pushing forward. Because um whenever you feel like when you think like, oh, maybe um another pit stop, and maybe this is not for me. What if tomorrow it's it's it's is your bet your big thing, you know? It's like uh what if tomorrow is your break and you just stop right there just because you felt like oh, this is not for me. There's a lot of of problems like coming. You know, you just go forward. I think that that is uh the best way because life doesn't, I mean, life didn't come with with with a manual on how to run it, you know? It's all trial and error.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

100% like you know, I wish that there was a book that said this is how you do it. But there's not. And I mean, and you figure it out along the way. But I mean, part of it is, and like I've been doing this as well. I've been reinventing myself through my podcasts and through the content that I create. But, you know, I hear people that are talking about reinventing themselves, and a lot of times people feel stuck in the identity they started with, you know, whether that be the teacher, the father, the the winner, the loser, you know, whatever that person is that they're like, this is who I was. How do you mentally give yourself permission to evolve from from one place to another, especially to becoming this international coach? Like, how did you do that? What was the permission like, is it like today we need to do this? Or was it, did it take time to like give yourself that permission?

SPEAKER_01 13:54

Actually, when it comes to like um permission and to like evolving into something, um I did some range check, you know, because sometimes um you know, I don't know if we have this feeling that oh, I'm okay with where I am right now and I just stay here. You know, because I think sometimes like what you said, like, you know, um being on the on the safe side sometimes is a good thing also. But gambling also is like, you know, at least you don't have the what ifs. What if I did this? What if I do this, you know? But it's actually more on when people started saying that we need you. This time uh and uh we we uh I I kind of like said, I need to evolve every now and then. Um like I'll put it in the context of like the pageantry. Pageantry is evolving every single season or every single day, to be honest. Before your walk could be like really tame and stuff. But suddenly, after you sleep, and suddenly like there's a new catholic version, there's a new way of answering a question, there's new way every single day. And I think um getting yourself or letting yourself be stuck in that kind of moment, people will go way past you, and the decks that you know you're you're irrelevant already. That is the context where I'm at right now. It's like, how did I allow myself to like reinvent myself to go to the fullest potential? It's like, you know, um I checked, like we've trained girls, like a lot of girls, and I really checked like uh we've checked, like, are we doing well? Maybe, you know, sometimes you have this question of like, maybe this isn't is this isn't really for us, you know. Maybe that season is just for us, but then the next season was like, oh, maybe not anymore. So, you know, we had a range check of like, if we do good on this pageant and replace this girl, then we'll stack it up a little higher, or like one step, you know, higher. And those are the things that that really we kept in mind. And so it's not really a question of like, do you have like a when do you when did you like decide it? No, it's like a decision of I must, you know, every single day I must. I must um elevate myself every single day. Everything every single day. Because um I think everything and everyone is replaceable. You cannot say like you're good enough. You know what you you know you know for a fact that you're good. It's just that people are striving also to be better. People are striving also to be good, to be great on what their crafts are or what they do. And so you cannot be, you know, like idle, even just for a moment, or like, you know, um just do nothing. It's always a decision, and it's always you have to choose to do it every single day, even if it's hard, even if you felt like some things are not working on my favor, you just have to do it. You just have to keep on reminding yourself, I need to, and I must.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

And you have to choose it every day. I love Jocko Willink, he's this former Navy SEAL, and he says, when bad things happen, good. When something comes along that forces you to have a challenge, good. I had a horrible day yesterday. Um, it was next to awful. I've been building my company and I got some news that a client of mine is pulling back some of their work and it's gonna be not fun. And it showed me, and I was sitting there and I was like, you know what? Bad thing happens, good. I need to diversify, I need to get more clients in more different sectors, you know. I was sitting there thinking about that, and you know, it's really easy to sit there, but why? But but that's it, that that's the fastest way to get yourself into trouble. True. I think instead we should change it to yes and okay, yes and something bad happened, yes, and what something was challenging, yes, and what are you gonna do about it? Something made you upset, yes, and what will you do now? You know, it's like I I had this one situation where I had um a client who was really, you know, challenging. So, you know, let's look up all their competitors, reach out to them, you know? Yes, and you know, yes, and and so my point being it's all about what you are willing to do with you, sure, and and and what you can do, you know, because again, you you can't wait for the world, you can't wait for everyone around you to fix it for you, you have to do it yourself. And I wanted to ask you this because a lot of that takes a mindset thing, and you know, and I see these amazing, powerful women come to you for coaching. And coaching confidence is not always easy. You know, when you work with a Miss Universe or international passive passion contestants, what is the first thing you fix? Is it posture, is it mindset, is it voice, is something else? What are you working with them on?

SPEAKER_01 19:31

You know what's what's funny is that um, because I'm a I'm a graduate of A B mass communication. So it's like, but then it's like the communication per se, you know. We do directing, we do um a lot of stuff about media, but it didn't really like came to my mind that we'll be catering to what contestants that are what top notcher in like law examinations, like those type of people who's like in the court and battling, you know, uh divorce or like you know, getting you know this type of things. Um, some are doctors, some are, you know, um from NASA, you know, and it's like it's an honor for us, like at RNJ, to be like, you know, coaching them. But what we always tell them first is like we always have this question of, are you willing to submit? Remove whatever you've learned and relearn. So that's what's our first question is. Because if not, we cannot, you know, pour water into a full cup, you know, you have to be empty. And we always ask them first that type of question is like, are you willing to submit? Because if not, then you don't need us. But the first thing that after they say, like, yes, okay, uh, we like uh I want to be trained by you guys. And so the first thing that we do is like the mindset because whatever we see in you that is really great, whatever we see in you that is really, you know, um, we know that you can make it, but if you second guess yourself or doubt yourself, then basically we cannot do anything about that. And so we build first their mindset on who are you? You know, um it's basically having them believe that they are the winner already. You're just joining the that the the the competition just to take the crown, so it's just a formality, you know. That's what we keep on telling them. During the training, we always tell them, who are you? And they will be always saying, Da da da da da da, my name is No, I'm asking who are you? Oh, I'm this. I was like, again, I'm not gonna, you know, say this again. Who are you? And we say, like, oh, I am Miss Universe or I'm Miss International. I don't hear the conviction. We don't hear the spirit, we don't hear the energy. Shout. Who are you? Then the same thing is like, okay, again and again. And keep on repeating and repeating and repeating until you know it becomes how they think. And so we go first with a mindset before we do the physical training. Because we think that when your mind is conditioned to do greater things, your body just follows. When your mind is conditioned to creating difference, to living who the past you are and taking up on that power, then your body performs as well. Whatever happens, when your mind is, you know, on when your mind is working greatly, everything just flows smoothly. So we we thought like and we believe that it's always the mind um conditioning first before you do the training. It's always like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

I love it because it's like so often, you know, I played sports when I was younger. Um and I played volleyball. And it was interesting because there was a time period where uh when I was playing volleyball, the California school systems were cutting a lot of budgets. So they cut the budget for a lot of different teams. And so my school, which was a very small school, ended up being able to play in this club pool with all of these other teams. But the thing was is that our team was very small, uh, but we were playing against some club teams that were very, very, very big, like top schools that had also had budget cuts to their sports program and were like they were in the club pool as well. And so we went up against this school that was an absolute top-notch school. It was not a low-level school. And um, we were getting ready for the game. Uh, and what happened was that my coach pulled us aside and he said he looked at us and he says, All right, guys, you got one of the biggest games that you're all gonna have of your of your time. Um, I want to ask you a question. Yes, do you believe that you can win? And as like, oh, he's like, before you even step on that court, and like we were like, Well, you know what? These guys are so good. He's like, That's a no. That's a no. If you cannot answer to me, um, yes, we believe we can win. If you cannot say that immediately to me, don't go on the court. And you know, and he said, at any point in time, anyone can win. And you, but it comes down to mindset, and you have to be willing to step up and and see what you can accomplish. True. I want to ask you this like in pageants, it's really challenging. Like, I had I had someone come on the podcast yesterday, and she said that she'd been preparing for the podcast for two weeks. And I was like, why? And she's like, I'm a non-native English speaker. This is literally the most terrifying thing I have ever done. Uh actually, one hour conversation. Yeah, one hour conversation in like English, she's like, Oh my God. And I wanted to ask you this because, like, in pageants, contestants have to answer, they have seconds to deliver powerful answers. You know, how do you train someone to think clearly and speak confidently under that type of pressure? You know, it's really hard.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

So, you know, um, what's funny is like, you know, even we're training them to speak their minds. Sometimes, you know, um, we ourselves have like that, you know, brain fart. Sometimes it's like, oh God, what is a good answer for that? But we don't really like teach them how to, you know, um answer like a verbatim or like, okay, you have to have a specific line that you have to to say in the in the beginning, or you have to have a specific line that you have to do towards the end. But we always tell them that, you know, be updated with with what's happening, maybe um political issues, but avoid political issues that I'm sorry, okay. Um uh social issues, um, women empowerment issues, everything that has something to do with the world that we're you know living in. And so, but we created some structures, you know, that we we we trained them. Okay, so for example, um like a structure of acknowledge the question, answer. After that, supporting point. So why do you why did you answer that? Then after that, go for the ending or closing note. But we only tell them to like you know, see the structure, remember the structure like the back of your hand, but don't create something like a memorized one. Because people know when you memorize things, you know, it's like oh, like Oprah said, or oh, um, like this famous person said that the children's are future, and da da da we got. I know already that you memorize that line, you know? And judges are not stupid not to know that. They've been listening to a lot of questions every single year, and they know when you memorize that line or you can have that line. So, what I always what we always say, like, especially my partner is the one training for that. We always say, like, okay, when you're about to do the question and answer, forget everything. Even the things that we studied, forget it. Because once you started thinking, oh, this is the structure, this is the da da da da da, then that's the time that it clouds your mind. Listen to the question, look for the keywords. What are the keywords? For example, a woman in the workforce prove women empowerment. Talk about that because once you start to like, you know, sometimes there uh there are questions that are women in the workforce are given little um acknowledgement, da-da-da-da-da, and they focus on the first line, then they forget that the question is really like under. Like, what do you think or how can you prove that women's empowerment exists in the workforce in the or in the in the office area, you know? So they focus on the first one instead of like focusing on the keywords of the question. And so we always tell them focus on the question, uh, the for the keywords of the question. Don't take the question as a whole, what are the keywords? And that's sometimes, you know, um, you may not answer the question, but when you sound right, you know, when you started strong, you sound right, people sometimes don't don't really like look at it as like, oh, she didn't answer the question. But the thing is that how did you answer the question? Because most of the time, yeah, um there's just there's actually there's no right or wrong in a question and answer because they're navigating and they're trying to like gauge your how you handle the moment, how you you know, like say your answer. Is it trembling? Is it in a way that not powerful, or are you like glancing on side to side and picking up for the answer? You know, it's on the composure, it's on basically how you sound. And so we always say, like, you know, remove whatever we've learned, but if you can think of the structure, it's better, but answer it by the keywords. So yeah, it's not really easy.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

One of the things that I was thinking of that there was this like when you start approaching something, if I tell someone, I want you to climb this mountain, that's hard. Climbing a mountain is not easy, you know? It is not an easy thing to do. You sit there and you're like, oh my goodness, how can I go about climbing this mountain? It's like something that um, you know, you might not know how to do. And so you sit there and you think about it and you overthink, and then suddenly you just give up and you don't climb anything because you thought so hard about the process, and you got so in your head that you didn't try it. Instead, maybe you can sit there and go, I need to, for my business, I need to add, I want six new clients in the next four months. Okay. If I sit there and go, oh my god, what can I do? How do I do that? I need a new website. That's that's the place to start. I need a new website. Um, I've got a trip back to Napa where I'm I've been building my podcast and I've been doing a wine podcast. I have 12 invitations to different wineries to come film for them. 12 invitations to come there, do wine tasting and film my experience wine tasting. So I'm like 12 open invites. Like I I need I need four clients, but I got 12 people coming and asking me to come film. You know, obviously not all of them gonna turn into stuff, but my my point being, if you try to think about something that's super far out, it's it's you're gonna go crazy. If you try to think about the whole answer, like let's break break it into pieces, you know?

SPEAKER_01 32:00

Sure. Yeah, um, it's it's one of like in the course that you know um R NJ Pageant Camp is doing. We always say, like, don't find the answer too far from you. Start from you, yourself. For example, your family. Simple situations that you can, you know, remember you you're doing um inside of family, then you find your way out. You know, don't don't don't don't go on like, oh, um, like for example, just just a little, I know just a little bit, okay. But um, like for example, um some girls are being asked, like, for example, in Miss World, uh how can you, you know, um using your platform, how can you change the world? And it's like, I'm not even a queen myself yet. I'm in the pageant and answering questions and answering. I don't have the crown yet. Second, is that I'm not like a president who can talk to the national or the United Nations and stuff like that, you know? And so what can I do to my platform? And it's like, you know, they always always tell, like, okay, what can you do? You're an influencer, use your influence. What? In the medium of what? Yeah, IG, FB. Start with that. Don't go on board like uh, I will talk to the president, I will talk to the leaders of the world. No, don't go there. Start here.

SPEAKER_00 33:17

Starting simple things that you can do. I was talking to you would have loved this conversation. I had a conversation with a news reporter that did sports news. So she was the sideline reporter for a big sports team, right? And I just, I just absolutely destroyed the IELTS in that conversation. And I said, Stop trying to sound smart, stop trying to sound like you know what you're talking about, keep it simple, keep it direct, and keep it authentic, you know, because like everyone I I know when someone's been trained to sound smart, to sound smart, because they talk in circles. I think that the most important thing that we can do for the diversification of the bifurfication, and you're like, what do you even know what those words mean? Like, I mean, do you like you know, you're just you you're throwing words out there, and like instead, like I love the authenticity of you know, someone asks, how would you change the world? Well, I'm doing it right now. I'm making this video. This video is starting a conversation, and then after this video is done, I'm gonna get my team to edit it and we're gonna post it and we're gonna cut it into reels and we're gonna show it and we're gonna share it, we're gonna tag people, and hopefully, one person watching this will go, Man, what's the one thing I can do today? What's the one thing I can do to become more successful today? And if you can figure out the one thing, not the five things, not the ten things, the one thing that you can do next, you can get there. You can get there. So start, you know, the things right, you gotta line them up. Voice and presence, though. You coach, um, voice and walk, which are both about presence. What do most people misunderstand about like presence, executive presence, and stage presence and all types of presence? Because talk to me about that. I'd love to know more.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

I think this is on um on our perspective that the most um no, actually, uh there's a specific thing that I want to really like um say. Uh executive presence or like the presence as like as a whole, it becomes difficult. It becomes difficult when people try to overdo it. Oh, I need to be like pre-med proper, I need to like you know, um have this specific demeanor and stuff like that. No, that is that is that presence. That is presence, but people can see you're fake, you know. But the thing is that you know, with the presence, it is it's supposed to be shouting from inside out. It's not what you actually do, but it's what it lets go back here on your mindset. You know, um, when you train to to have that the type of mindset, so I'm I'll be a queen, I'll be a queen, I'll be a queen, or like I'll be the winner. How would you behave? That's the first question. See? And now when you know that you're a queen, then that's a time that okay, so these are queen should behave. But we always say don't overdo it, like, oh, I need to be extra soft, and oh no, that's not how we do it. You know, it's it's about being real, but in a controlled manner, in a decent manner. You know, you don't have to have the the, you know, like, I don't know, but um, I don't know, I don't hate these people who's like acting in front of like a like a fine di and he was like, oh, he knows she knows everything, like the fork that will be used for the for the for the cake, the the knife, the fork. And I was like, those things, you can learn that. But the attitude behind that will speak more. Even if like I don't know the fork, but I act classy, I I I do it like in a nice way, in a decent, in a more respective way, then I might look better than those people who are 100% know what these colories are for, you know. So it's basically more on being real, being authentic, but at the same time decent enough to be, you know, um that can that the people can can admire you through through your the way actually the way you talk, the way you treat people, I think that's much more if if it does make sense, okay? Because a lot of people know this etiquette, this executive presence thing, but the way they they treat people, the way they talk to people is like, oh, you're you're a person like high ear, so I compartmentalize, okay, you're the boss, so I'll treat you this way, and you're here, so I'll treat you that way. You know, I think it's not like like that. It's more on the attitude towards other people and the attitude that originates from within. Because everyone can can learn how to do those type of things, but the attitude behind that, the positive um vibes that's coming out, that's the real one, not the fake one.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

I was um I got to work in Hollywood and I got to work with this really famous people. But what was interesting to me was that I got to work in a hair salon in Hollywood. And it was really funny because I know nothing about hair. I know nothing about fashion. I am not your your your fashionista. My wife dresses me nicely, thank God. Um, but you know, it yeah, it's thank God that she helps me, and I'm just wearing a black t-shirt today. She'd kill me. Uh, but the the fun thing was is I got to work at this hair salon that was below this one bar that in Hollywood. Now, this bar in this hotel was the Sunset Tower Hotel, uh, which used to be the Argyle Hotel. Now, the Sunset Tower Hotel is famous because it hosts one of the biggest parties of the year after the Oscars. It hosts the Vanity Fair Party every year. Now, what's interesting about that is for the week leading up to that party, that bar every single night is a who's who of Hollywood. Like, everyone that's anyone's there. And I remember going up to that party, and my friends were like, Hey, come on up for a drink. And I'm like, No, man, it's not my vibe. I I don't, I'm dressed like a bum. I just finished work, and they're like, You're an actor, you've studied acting, come upstairs for this party. And I was just like, It's not a party, like just people having drinks. Come on up, and I was like, Okay. So I go upstairs and I go in the room, and it's really dark in there, and it's super crowded. I mean, it is standing room only, there are no seats, so we kind of push our way in at the bar because everyone was pushing in their way into the bar. And the the place was packed. And like as my eyes started adjusting and wiping them, you know, and I it's like the dark room is getting brighter. I start looking around the room, and it was like a dream to me because I was like, all these people seem really recognizable, but like I don't know. All of a sudden I realized it was everyone. It was everyone from Hollywood. I look over. There was Brad Pitt there, George Clooney there, Matt Damon there, Anthony Mackey there, like um what was it, her name? Um it was everyone. It was everyone. Stanley Tucci was there, uh Sophia Loren was there, and like I'm not exactly, these are all people that were Sophia Lorenz was in the room, and I was just like, oh my god, Sophia Loren. And it was amazing. And everyone that was coming in the room was just, you know, like just starstruck, but they were all the stars, but yet it was it was amazing. Now, suddenly the room went quiet, like super quiet. And I just was like, what is happening? And I turn and Meryl Streep walks in the room. Devil wears Prada, Meryl Streep walks in the room in a white dress that was like angelic gown, and she walked in the room. She did not look side to side, she did not see who was looking to her at her. She walked in and was just there. She was Meryl Streep, and she didn't need validation, she was validation in that moment. She was all the validation that she needed in that moment, and she just and if I ever want to think about how to enter a freaking room, that's how you do it. She owned the room. She this is she walked in and she's like, This is my room now, and it was her room now, and like everyone turned and looked at her, and like Stanley Tucci jumps up because this was just after Devil Wears Prada, runs up and gives her a kiss. And like, oh my goodness, that presence. And it's like the level of confidence, the level of self-understanding that is required to get there. It wasn't arrogance, it was not, there was zero arrogance. It wasn't like she she greeted everyone graciously that was around her, but the presence was something that I have never before and never after seen.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

True. Yeah, that's actually, you know, um, so what I what I'm saying is like, you know, you just be yourself, but be respectful in a way that people don't get offended. Because if you have that kind of aura, it will reject just from inside with, I mean, inside to outside. You know, like same in a business, like when someone asks you, like, what about the market? Like, um what if this is seasonal and you're out of the market? It's like, babe, don't tell me about the market, because I am the market. Always, you know, like keep in mind, you know. I don't really care about the market now because I'm the market. You know, all you have to do is just to be you. You know your value, use that.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

Yeah, you know, yes, you know your value, use it. And I again I think that's one of the things that people mess up on is that they try. To they try to match, you know, instead of saying, This is what I bring, and this is what I know my value is. And you see that on the stage with these women that are on that stage and they just shine. They shine and they shine and they shine. And it's nothing, and people go, What is that thing? And you have a hard time putting your finger on it. But the reality is that thing is this deep level of self-knowledge and confidence that comes with it.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

Because they're sure of themselves. You know, that's one of the things that we teach is like, you know, don't aspire to be this that the queen. Because that queen is there because she aspired to be herself. And that's why now everyone looks at her like, oh, I want to be her. But the thing is that if you're going to the competition and you'll be like saying, Oh, I want to be like her, I'll be embodying this type of aura from this type of person, people will see that, oh, another, another Katriona Grey or another, you know, another Pia Wertz back. So no, you have to be you. You have to set the new um, how'd you call this? You have to set the new um standard. Because if you keep on looking for like other queens and like getting something from them, you will not be your own self. You will not set a standard. This is the new season. You have to be the trend. So you set it out there. And people will admire you when you put yourself out there by being unapologetically you.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

I love that. Unapologetically you, whatever you can be, be you. Umindset versus opportunity. You often say that when your mindset shifts, doors open. Can you share a real story where your mindset created an opportunity that didn't exist before?

SPEAKER_01 46:01

I think the mindset of being persistent, you know, um before uh I you know coming to Vietnam is like a I don't speak the language, as I told you, I think last time. Um I would always not belittle myself, but I I believe or we believe like I believe in myself less before until I shift of mindset of no one knows me here. I can create my own persona. And so when the time came that I just like, okay, I'll be sending invitations. I'm I'll know not invitations, but I'll be sending emails or messages that oh, can I go to your, you know, because no one knows me, so nothing to lose. So I'll be like sending like messages to designers to red carpets, like, can I come? Da-da-da-da. Most of them are left unseen, unseen, and some and most of them don't really actually repl respond, you know. So, okay, so if I cannot make you want me, I'll come to you. And so I have a kind of mindset of just like, okay, if I'll just put myself out there and just show up, being persistent and being relentless on what I want, on what we want as a whole, like with our um with our uh pageant camp. Yeah, suddenly people started to notice, even if we're not invited, like I'll be going there, I'll crush the not crush like in a way, but I'll let them go inside first the event, then I was like, okay, post the red carpet and post it there until you know the the engagement started to go. It's like um it's basically not faking it till you make it, but it's more on like being persistent on what you want to achieve. Being persistent when even when others say no, being able to show up. I think there's no such thing as that there's no like specific word for like the specific mindset of like how it shifted, but I think just being able to show up, you just show up even if no one wants you. You have to tell yourself that people like you. You have to like yourself. That the least thing that you wanted to do is to hate yourself. The least thing that you wanted to do is to be fake with yourself. The least thing that you wanted to do is to hide yourself from people. Because once you put yourself out there, right clients come. Even if you're not invited, yes, even if people don't like you, just go and show. And right clients come. And little thing that you know, these people who declined us are the ones asking, do you have like, um, can you vacant your why would I vacant my schedule for you? You didn't even like you know, no, I'm being crazy because it going back to it, it gives as like in me like a sense of pride to myself. That was like, okay, no one's inviting you, no one wants you, no one knows you, no one knows your name. And now they're like sending invitations, they're like, I want you to be the judge, I want you to walk to my fashion show, and I was like, let me check my schedule and I'll get back to you. You know, I didn't put it like out there that I'm hating on people, but sometimes they said like the greatest revenge is just being silent. Don't do revenge because God will not do the revenge for you. And when you're lucky enough, God will let you watch the karma unfold.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I want to ask you a question. If you could give advice to a 16-year-old watching this, someone who's watching this, anyone, actually any age, and they feel torn between a safe path and something of passion, what practical advice would you give them on that?

SPEAKER_01 50:12

Um, I think uh listen to your gut because I think that the those those ages are like it's meant for you to make mistakes, but always listen to your mom and dad too. You know, because um, of course, uh sometimes we really wanted something, but they've been through the path and they just don't want you to commit the same mistake. But sometimes you have your own journey, you know? Kids have their own journey. So for the parents, like let them make their own mistakes, and from there they'll learn. But then if you're gonna ask me, like safe path or you know, the the path of like the passion, it goes both hand in hand. But be ready to you know to to accept the the consequences of the actions, but just go for it, you know, because you learn in the process, you know. Um, yeah, uh, it's it's always like to the parents uh that I will say, like, guide your your children. Um because their children wouldn't be stray, uh wouldn't go stray if there's a support coming from the parents. But for the 16-year-old kid, try to commit as as many mistakes as possible so that you don't do it when you're adult. You know, yeah. Um just do it with intention. Do it with intention, um, but of course listen to your parents because they don't want any bad things for you. You just do it but with intention and that if your heart is on the right track, if your heart has good intention on why you wanted to achieve something, you'll get it. And it's good when you know when you get it with people who will celebrate you, which is your family.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Where can people go to find out more about you and what you do?

SPEAKER_01 52:10

Actually, yeah, um we're now here in uh in in Vietnam. So we're based in Vietnam and uh we have this RNG Pageant Camp. It's a small pageant camp, but um, but because uh we cater more to to you know um to everything, like from pageant coaching to cardwalk training to QA to interviews, and so they just lag on to you know, Instagram, where's Zethrow, or director red, and also yeah, RNJ Pageant Camp. So they'll be able to see everything there: our work, our girls, um, the trainings that we do. Then the things that we customize uh trainings based on the person, based on the client. We don't just like, okay, you copy me. Oh, this is what you want. You want to be this beauty queen? Let's do it. No, we want you to be the best version of yourself that when you go out there, people will look at it as like, oh, it's a new or messback. You know, it's like a something that eye catching that is you, uniquely you, and it's the first time that they see that, you know. So it's all customized. We do it for the clients.