The Empowerment Diaries with Carleta 'Lita': Goddess of Growth & Life Coach

Your Story Doesn't Define You, But It Can Free You

• Carleta aka Lita

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Speaker 1:

Hello, this is Lita here, goddess of Growth here to do another episode of Empowerment Diaries. Today we're looking at the power of rewriting our story, revisiting the past so that we can have a freer, freer future. Being in the present and being free is very much a great victory also, and ultimately, as we age, present is all we have throughout all of our lives. But as we age we become more aware of time and space. Having the courage to revisit our story without allowing it to bring us down is really key to freeing our minds and freeing our soul really key to freeing our minds and freeing our soul. And maybe, if you have the opportunity to speak to the characters that were involved in your story, taking that opportunity now might be the key to freeing not just your mind but your path.

Speaker 1:

In the UK we do have the thoughts of having what they call a stiff upper lip or the phrase keep calm and carry on. I am of British born Jamaican heritage and it is the case that we are often encouraged to be like comedians in the workspace. One would speak the best English possible when, when we're in our community, tapping into Patois, we adapt ourselves. We're like the natural multilingual or bilingual people in the society that we are in the UK. But either way, whichever culture you are from, there's often this hidden instruction that whatever you're going through needs to be kept quiet and people generally shouldn't know about it. Maybe because there's issues connected to shame, maybe because the issues are directly linked to your immediate family and, of course, from young age to old age we have things like social media now that could have a huge effect on our life chances, especially when we're thinking about work, growth, career and so forth. But truly the stiff upper lip, in my opinion, can lead to a lot of ailments, not just mentally, physically too. There's something about just holding on to something that feels uncomfortable, no matter what is going on. That really doesn't fully resonate and our bodies start to rebel.

Speaker 1:

Previously, I've gone through my modality of choice for therapy, emotional freedom techniques, which is a really great tool to continually help tapping into how we're feeling right now. It doesn't dismiss how we feel, it connects with it and just asks us to just check in as to if what we're feeling is rooted into the truth or not. And even if it is rooted in the truth, the question still is the case. We remain remains to be asked. Even if it's true, is there anything that you can do about it right now? And often, when you ask anyone how they are, they spend a bit of time thinking about what just happened, or moments before or weeks before or years before, or maybe how they'd like to feel in the future. Very few tap into this moment and, in this very moment, this might be the very moment that we actually feel okay, we're comfortable, we can breathe, nothing is in mind, we can relax. In this moment, we are often okay. There is a difference between accepting the past and being stuck in it, and I do know, through my own journey of life, of being in that repetition, repetition, repetition and freeing myself from it to the point where it's quite a lot of energy for me now to talk about the past childhood and so, however, the universe has a way of bringing our past to us in increments for us to deal with it, and it does happen in the strangest ways.

Speaker 1:

So, personally, I have been transitioning my career. I recently took on a post as a creator network manager through a social media platform, tiktok, and my task is to talent, manage and grow a productive and successful live agency, basically working with creators to encourage them to host successful live streams on TikTok. Now, for those that know me, I have actually been transitioning my career for the last two, almost two and a half years now. Finances disappeared. The old way was no longer working, so I had to find ways to promote my consultancy, my hypnotherapy, my coaching. I decided, and was encouraged, to join TikTok as the up and coming, growing modality to grow in social media, on social media, and somehow I ended up going to live stream with a view of promoting my business. Well, life doesn't often go in a straight line, does it? Instead of just doing my business, I did get involved in other things shoppable, contentpable content, networking. I managed to host just a couple subscriptions where I was able to provide coaching nothing significant. So roll forward to 2025.

Speaker 1:

Being given this opportunity, for this opportunity to run my very own creator network, I do believe it is the greatest opportunity to share all the experiences that I have accumulated on the platform and off the platform for growth. It's given me an opportunity to do what I enjoy, which is coaching, and those that I coach will not need to pay me a thing because the platform will be able to pay me according to what is earned going live stream. It does not come out of the creator's income. It is something that is paid directly from the platform to the creator network Stories. The interesting thing is for a while I felt as if the platform had actually stopped my work from going out, from being seen. But evidently something was being seen and I find myself in this space now, changing careers of sorts and having to believe in my ability not just to coach but to also succeed at yet another new business Stories.

Speaker 1:

I've recently, this year around April, received a plot on an allotment to look after all on my own. In fact, when I registered my details in 2020, I was told it would be likely that I wouldn't get it because there was a 10 year waiting list. Lo and behold, five years later, almost the plot was offered to me. Most the plot was offered to me and I'm telling you it has been work and I woke up one morning quite frustrated and I was saying to the universe why have you given this plot to me? And I do not have the resources, the finances, the whatever it takes to get the plot how I would like it to be, to make it viable. It really doesn't make sense by day end.

Speaker 1:

I had a few resolutions about the plot. I was able to go and pick some fruit. Fruit has actually ripened much earlier than expected this year. They're very much in season. I was expecting the currants and so raspberries to be ready by end of June July, but they're ready Anyhow. In going to the plot I met a couple that have a space there and apparently the team of them had spoken and they were thinking of offering their time to assist me in clearing the plot. Apparently, the plot had become overrun over two years and they felt it was a bit unfair to give me the plot to take on with so much work needing to be done. So there we have, the universe, even before I started complaining to the universe, working out a solution for me so that I will be able to move forward and create a space on the land, on the plot, where it will be something that I'll be able to use it gracefully, usefully, productively.

Speaker 1:

That has been the theme of my life really over the last two and a half years. Help and support has come from unexpected places and part of me and this is the story I tell myself has been a bit annoyed that all the work that I've been doing I have not been able to cover myself on my own given all the hours and time spent. So there is a bit of annoyance about that, for sure. But looking at all the angels and the support that I've received over the last two and a half years, I do believe life is really truly amazing. It's as if I am being reminded that actually, when support is needed and I'm on the right path, support will be provided.

Speaker 1:

But without opening my mind and challenging my ideas on help and support, it can often seem quite difficult even to ask for help or receive help. A lot of our ideas about receiving assistance whether it be loans, whether it be assistance putting up a frame in the house, help with a garden, help cooking a meal a lot of those ideas we take on from our parents and our ancestors, our environment and sometimes spirit, does remind us that actually, this life that we're living, it isn't a solitary affair. It is one that is very much reliant on connections and collaboration. Even those that choose to live off-grid, they rely on others collecting, presenting spaces that they themselves can use, whether or not they pay for it. One of our challenges is to tap into our sense of guilt, our sense of shame for asking for assistance or needing assistance. The fact of the matter is the majority of the population and if this is a fact, they would not survive if they did not have support. I would say all and everyone that we meet needed some level of support and still need support to be able to live the life that we're living, whether we admit it or not, and today, 2025, more people have become aware of their need for support. The cost of living crisis there's definitely anxiety. All I keep hearing from others as I speak to clients is so dear. The costs just keep going up and up and up and sometimes we can look at the cost without looking at the rest of the picture.

Speaker 1:

We are being tasked, we are being asked to connect, to partner, to collaborate. This is the trajectory. This is what we are being tasked by Spirit to do to come together, to identify our strengths and connect it, balance out our weaknesses by coming together with others that will balance out our weaknesses, complement our strengths. We're now looking at our personal identity in a whole new way and we're thinking about our personal identity. We understand resources in our hands aren't the only influence, the best currency at this time especially when you're thinking about social media, even stocks and shares. The best currency at this time is really your connection, the people that you know. So, when you're assessing your story, maybe now is the time to start looking at how much time you're taking and putting aside to nurture relationships and I'm not talking about the relationships you've had since childhood that never change. We are growing and as we are growing, we are evolving, and we all need to have relationships that reflect our growth, whether they be challenging or otherwise. As we grow, the majority of the people around us will change. Are you open to that change? If not, why not Now? I know there's a number of people that like to consider the English language and there's this idea if you change the meaning of certain words to positive, then life will be positive, and so I challenge you to question that part of the story.

Speaker 1:

Ultimately, it's not so much what we think, but what we feel about our story. We can change all the words. We can change the identities. It doesn't take away the nuance. It doesn't take away the feeling, or does it? We are taught often to be polite and I suspect this idea of changing words makes us feel as if we've got more control over circumstances, but when we are challenged, that emotion, that feeling that prevents us from looking at the bigger picture, is what comes forward. We are challenged to look at our story on a micro level, through family and friend lens. But let's not forget what we are seeing in our immediate circle is often replicated in the world at large.

Speaker 1:

It is so easy, when we hear something on the news, to say them they. When we hear something on the news, to say them they. And often we do not acknowledge that the same behavior we are seeing on the news is the same behavior that's happening in our household, our family unit, our friend connection. And this is often the case until we start identifying and tapping into our story, to really zone in to what is true. As we confront our story, the characters change, the life experience change. We no longer need those mirrors to come back to us, to show us places in our life that needs healing, because that's all it is really A lifetime of being challenged with different scenarios, different stories, to check into our values and return us back to love and connection with ourselves first and each other. Can we truly free ourselves without understanding our story and what it is that we have tapped into and used to encourage levels of oppression. Even this word, trauma, gets bounded around quite frequently these days and, yes, there's loads of traumatic events. The fact of the matter is it affects us all differently. It's all about what story we are running.

Speaker 1:

At the time when the so-called traumatic event happens, 9-11, I was in Barbados. At the time, I'd gone to a beach and in fact, I had observed the planes going into the buildings. I thought I was watching a movie. Even I remember the flight home to the UK. It being so surreal, flight home to the UK it being so surreal that I remember them being worried about giving us water, you know, liquids and so forth. That was my story. It wasn't traumatic at all. I was on the beach and I found out, and I remember going home to my sisters and questioning if they'd heard about it. We don't generally watch the news when we're abroad. We turned on the television. It was like oh, wow.

Speaker 1:

Years later I heard how my sister, who was in the UK, had experienced the whole scenario and for the first time, I was challenged to empathise with those that were in the UK hearing about what had happened. Offices had closed down in London. The whole of London was under in a panic. Businesses, government offices were closed, people had to walk rather than take the bus home. Lots of security measures were put in place almost, I suppose, the measures that they would put in place at wartime. It's not a memory I have because I did not go through it, but there's so many more that would have gone through at that time.

Speaker 1:

And isn't it interesting? A lot of us in the UK will talk about 9-11. We often do not remember the big event that happened in the UK, where we had bombings here as well, even though I know older colleagues were personally affected. So stories are there to challenge us, to wake us up and to connect in, check in to how we are connected to any given scenario and each other. And until we take that time to question the story, think about the global environment at the time, think about the emotion, who was around, what actually happened and if you can go back to ask questions. Until we do that, it's hard to be free.

Speaker 1:

And when I talk about addressing the story, I don't mean that traumatic repetition of things that happened years ago, because I know we've all done that, or the majority of us have, and made little progress. So this is about rewriting the narrative, addressing the narrative and being in a position to rewrite it. So I've mentioned before journaling, writing the story, being prepared to spend some time, get a book, get a pen and write and when you're ready you could reread it. You can keep it for a while and then tear the pages and burn it, not before, of course, you check in. Was it true? And if it's true, what does it mean for you? Therapy is also an option, whether it be hypnotherapy or if you want to go for counselling. We are our story.

Speaker 1:

What we think about ourselves resonates out into the world and, from personal experience, sitting and talking to friends and family may not always be healing. There are friends and families that will often appease or try to soothe. As you age, you come to realise there'll be many people that sit and talk with us, with you, and you will think that they fully understand you and they're on the same page. They get it and actually, when you readdress the situation years later, you will find nothing could be further from the truth. Actually, there was no agreement. We learned that actually someone's silence whilst they listen is not a sign they agree with you at all. They're just giving you that space to communicate, you might feel really connected. Finally, someone listens and someone understands. But truly, according to my own personal experience, it's the case that very few people fully resonate with the experience that you're going through. Very few. Some of us are blessed I been very blessed, aunts and so that have been able to not just witness my story but also reaffirm my story. Unfortunately, not many people have that.

Speaker 1:

So taking time out to go and see a therapist, a counsellor, someone outside of your network, so that you can just speak and get it off your out of your system, is helpful too. But don't stay long in that space. Honesty is important too. You need to be prepared to ask questions. Coaching is the tool that can start asking you questions. So that happened and that happened and that happened. It's 10 years now. How is it affecting you today? Is that by choice? What's the benefit of you holding on to that opinion, that story, today? What are you getting out of it? Is this the time now to let go of your own story? At what point would be the right time? What do you lose by letting your story go? What do you gain by letting your story go?

Speaker 1:

Culture can play a significant factor as into how we hold on to our story. There's some kind of honour and medal, one would say, especially if you're coming from Caribbean roots, roots to have been raised in a family where corporal punishment was used and you were able to survive it somehow. It's almost seen as you're a weaker minded individual, if you were even to dare to think, to talk about it, being something that affected you mentally, emotionally, emotionally or otherwise. Taking that decision and step to review your story and heal your story, distance yourself from your story and maybe do something different with the next generation, your children, your nieces, your nephews, your connections that decision could actually distance you from your culture, because here you are, taking your story and healing it, affecting your ancestors, your previous generations and generations to come. Not everybody has the energy or the mindset to do that work, but that is work that a select few will do. It's about acknowledging that our identities can be very present, regardless of what we've been through, in spite of what we've been through. So today I am reflecting on our story and what is it that we need to do to really just check into our narrative, the small steps that we're able to take and focus on so that we can now take our power back, empower ourselves, even if it means rewriting our story.

Speaker 1:

Question, as we come to a close what's the one story you've told yourself that no longer serves you?

Speaker 1:

What is the one story you've told yourself that no longer serves you? When you get familiar with your story, when others attempt to tell you your story or use your story against you, it will not bother you because you'll understand that there's a real power in your journey, in your story and the lens that you've been looking at yourself. It just widens. Opportunities come. You're able to connect more easily with others, even without asking. It's like the universe starts putting new experiences, newer connections in your life. There's less fear-based focus, there's more love, there's more connection. It doesn't happen overnight. It does take an effort, it takes an intention. Start with the journaling, look at your story and be focused on your story. If you're now ready to empower your life, free your future, free your mind. Empowerment Diaries is what you've been listening to. This is Lita, goddess of Growth. Please do remember to connect, do comment below, and together we are going to use our stories to heal ourselves and to free our minds, free our lives. Thank you.