Breaking Free: My Social Media Disillusionment

The seductive promise of social media—build your brand, expand your reach, connect with an international audience—often masks a more complicated reality. After years of dedicated platform engagement, I've come to understand the profound disconnect between social media's marketed potential and its actual impact on genuine business growth.

When I first joined TikTok, I envisioned it as a gateway to new audiences for my coaching practice and product offerings. Instead, I discovered my content consistently funneled to viewers in countries where my UK-specific services weren't relevant. Despite investing countless hours in livestreams, content creation, and community engagement, the algorithmic segregation of users into demographic "hubs" prevented the very connections I sought to establish.

Most striking was my realization upon leaving the platform: of the thousand followers I'd accumulated, there wasn't a single one I genuinely missed. Those who became true friends had already exchanged contact details outside the app, highlighting the profound difference between platform metrics and authentic relationships. This explains why micro-influencers often generate more meaningful

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Social Media Journey
• 9:05 Challenges with Platform Algorithms
• 17:49 Reality vs Expectations
• 18:03 False Promises of Monetization
• 21:51 Moving Forward Beyond Social Media
• 24:34 Future Plans and Community Building

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So I've just learnt I can't pause on Riverside, which is such a shame. I am here. This is Lita Goddess of Growth, and I was talking about the set-up and experience that I've had over social media over the years, and there is a point to the conversation that I'm having with myself here on this podcast. Welcome, this is Lita Goddess of Growth. I hope you have joined me and you're in good health. I wonder if you have also been on social media and spent time trying to negate how to build connections, how to monetise, how to grow your own brand, your service, your product. Maybe you've been able to join social media and create a whole new persona for yourself. How is that all working for you?

Speaker 1: 0:56

I'm talking about my own experience joining social media and the excitement of the journey I had with TikTok, which I left a couple of months ago now. I managed to get a role as creator network manager, and I think that was the final point where I was feeling totally disillusioned with the whole process and I needed just to take time out and move forward. What happened was I became more resolved that full-time self-employment is the key. I took what I learned from the platform away from me. I understand the real need to have genuine connection and community. It's interesting since leaving the platform, I can honestly say that I haven't missed anyone that I met on the platform. There are some people I would love to send gifts because they really supported me each and every time that I was posting on the platform. They did their best to try and push me out. I did remember emailing one of them. I've not heard from them as yet. There were a few people on my account family members, and so that I asked to leave the account ages ago because I realised I was going to the live stream and I could see that the platform was pushing out the live stream to them.

Speaker 1: 2:22

Because the whole idea really isn't it that we are encouraged to have hubs, hubs of people together that share the same interests, likes and so forth? The problem with that, I would say, is that I join social media to extend my reach, get those international connections. So if I'm joining the platform and each time I join it's only sending my details out to the people I know, then I'm really not extending my reach. Mind you, often when I was going on a live stream probably because of the way I look a lot of the live streams were sent out to Nigeria, to Ghana, canada, india I could only sell UK items to those that lived in the UK. I thought, in taking up the opportunity to do affiliate marketing via the shop, I thought, when I heard that it was a great opportunity to build a community, extend my connections, that in doing so I would open up my reach. But it never happened.

Speaker 1: 3:38

Many a time going to a live stream, I would find that the people attending the live stream attempting to talk to me would have conversations and they were not in a position to see the products I was promoting because they were not in the UK. When I queried it, I'd be told that I should pay for advertising, and when I first joined the platform I did put a little bit of money behind advertising, only to find that there still wasn't people coming to my account from the UK. The most opportunities I had to meet people in the UK was when I decided to join Grow Rooms, and then the difficulty with that is that you then attract more people that want to do what you want to do, which is sell on to others, and, yeah, the cycle continues. I learned quite early on that grow rooms was hurting my account. You'll hear this from many people because you're literally attracting people that want to do what you want to do, and there will be some that have the team spirit. They will try and help push your posts and so forth, spread the word. But many a time it would seem as if I had engagement and then I would go to a live stream and find I'd be sitting there on my own an hour, two hours, and so, in fact, in the early days I was being encouraged by others who thought they had the formula to success, and a lot of it was be there regularly. I started going there daily, sometimes at five, six days a week, two to four hours at a time. These were in the early days when I could do so. Life had changed. I had more opportunities and time to be online, and then, as the years sped on, I could go on less and less. I had to be a bit more careful with my time Plus. There was an acknowledgement that I wasn't making any money with my time. Today, what's brought me to this topic? I saw an article about a woman who had monetised by showcasing a gadget that puts a phone up in a car window. Apparently, she'd made 60,000 in three months just from this one video. And these kinds of stories are the kind of stories that encourage us to keep showing up, keep being present.

Speaker 1: 6:23

When I first took the opportunity of doing the shop as an affiliate, I could not get goods to showcase. I think the idea is that sellers give you samples or goods. You will then trial them and share them with your own community that you're building, but I couldn't get them for myself, so I ended up putting a bit of money aside and purchasing items Turned out. A lot of them was not so great, but it got me started and eventually sellers let's not exaggerate, a couple of them sent me items that I was able to promote. I think they test you to see if you're able to make a sell, if you've got the community to back you up when you're doing your posts.

Speaker 1: 7:17

Over the years it was actually I'd like to say it was this year, could have been last year I met someone in the UK I'd actually gone, I think, to a grow room, so it must have been last year and English woman. She was doing quite well with the shop and she let me know that actually she had never once purchased an item. She was getting all the branded items to promote on her page. I'm not going to mention the brands and she explained that initially it was quite slow. I really cannot remember if she paid for advertising, but what I do remember is her saying that actually after some time she started to make around 400 pounds a month. It was like the universe was talking to me because up until that point it was only my American friend who had told me whenever she does a video that it was the seller that would pay her to do a video.

Speaker 1: 8:19

We didn't have such opportunities here that I was aware of. But, mind you, I wasn't really meeting anyone doing the shop in the UK. Much later down, which was this year, I joined a couple of groups I was invited to on the platform. The idea, I suppose, was for us to learn best practice from each other, best practice from each other. And there I was amazed to find there were people getting thousands of views and not making any sales. And here I was complaining that I was getting very few views. I was in the 200 gel, as we would like to call it, but making minimal sales £2 here. So nothing great, nothing to pay bills, but a sign that there was some kind of movement. So we came full circle and I left the platform and I'm here often just double checking. Did I make the right decision?

Speaker 1: 9:20

As I said, I joined because it presented the opportunity to extend my reach, open up doorways so that with my business I could tap into an international marketplace. But when I attended, it seemed as if I was placed in some kind of hub whereby the algorithm platform, whatever it was, would only push me out to be seen in Nigeria, ghana I have had Canada, india, given that I was only able to sell to the UK and that's with whether I did the affiliate marketing under the shop or whether I did the creator network management opportunity. It was most strange to me to find that I was going into these spaces giving my time free of charge and the right people were not present for me to engage with. So we join to extend our connection, but we find that we're in segregated spaces. We're in hubs, and I get it. The hubs are there so that we can be around people that encourage us to be on the platform longer, to communicate with, to have fun with, and the idea is, if we share ideas as to what we like together, we probably will purchase something. So if you have a lot of Jamaicans together, why not have them on each other's feed talking about subjects they'll understand and connect with and why not, whilst they're looking for the shop, present some food items that they will purchase here products, whatever it is? So it's all system focused on how monetization will happen.

Speaker 1: 11:18

But for those of us that went on to extend our personal reach to have our own businesses, I am not so sure and I'm not so clear that that was the best place to be. I was there for the experience. I didn't get to monetize. I did do a couple of subscriptions for my coaching practice when I was managing my business account, but I found it really wasn't the right platform to do that on a long-going basis. People wanted a lot more for the subscription and that they were paying. That I wasn't able to provide in that kind of a setting.

Speaker 1: 12:00

When I moved to the creator account to have some fun, monetise, doing the affiliate work and attempt to connect with brands, the energy changed somewhat. It was a lot more fun, but the growth just wasn't there as I was expecting, and I do like to take responsibility. I spent quite a lot of time working on appearance. I was quite annoyed when wigs started coming through my For you page giving me guidance to get wigs and so which I finally did actually acquiesce to, because I've had some thinning here at the front of my head. I got backgrounds to manage, the backdrops on the live stream, lighting followed, lots of hints and tips really, on how to be professional online to be a great anchor and attract my community. Did it work? No, were the opportunities there So-so? So not everyone's making the 60,000 in three months, but people are making money.

Speaker 1: 13:12

Strategies are needed because, ultimately, in the time that I've left the platform, I can honestly say the thousand requirement of for people to follow your account to show that you have engagement, I think personally, is nonsense. There's no one that I've missed. I appreciate the help and the support for those that was always committed to helping and support me and, for sure, if I was to ever go and see them on any platform or so, I'd love to be able to be in a position to support them. As I said, I emailed one person. I have not heard a thing back. I wanted to send him a little bit of a gift to say thank you for all the support, and I do also acknowledge that those that became friends. We actually exchanged contact details way before we disconnected online. So the friends are those that we continue to keep in touch with each other, whether or not we're on social media.

Speaker 1: 14:19

There is a definite two-tiered system. If you have the funds, great, but funds alone will not make you succeed on the platform. You need to have the network, the very network that you've joined. To extend your network, the platform you've joined, to extend your network, you need to have a network that you can have with you. And when I talk about support, I'm not just talking about posts. We're talking about real engagement being present at live streams, communicating, communicating, sharing knowledge.

Speaker 1: 15:09

It goes beyond actually the platform metrics. The platform has its algorithm and its metrics Instagram, facebook, all of them. They all have their measures of how you are connecting with other accounts, but the real relationship is what happens beyond social media. This is what we're looking for to determine our long-term business success, and this is what we're looking for when we're deciding the difference between whether we're enjoying being on social media and using it as a tool, versus social media using us as their tool to grow their corporate entity. It's a difference between enjoying the process and burnout, because we all know, regardless of how many followers one has, if we are continually connecting with others just for that number engaging only to show the platform that you're engaging the disconnect is quite huge and it might explain why companies have acknowledged that micro influencers so they say so they're called people with very few people on the account, maybe up to a thousand. They often tend to have more engagement than those that have thousands and hundreds of thousands on their account. I did see a post up. There was a bit of a change on the platform and there was a scenario where one creator had very few followers but they were still able to go and live stream and connect and get gifts, and so another creator had thousands of followers and barely anyone showed up.

Speaker 1: 17:00

There is something about being on accounts in these environments for the opportunity to spectate on. I don't know what's unique, what's's unusual or even what one can laugh at. Entertainment value is key, so maybe when we're looking at promoting ourselves and our business, it's a case of going backwards to look at our original value and just double checking if what the audience wants is really what we're looking to showcase whilst we're present in these environments. Couple of times I'd gone to the support team to query like why are views so low? Why is this happening? And so a couple of times over the couple of years, I did have messages. One delete your account or you can delete your account. There is a disconnect. I don't know what these platforms do with their staff members. I really don't know how representative of the platforms a lot of the departments are. There are times when they respond. You question is this part of the system or is this an individual confident that they're able to respond in any way that they want?

Speaker 1: 18:57

And I suppose when you're in an environment attempting to make an income, it can make you acquiesce. You might feel as if you're in a quite vulnerable position. Right, because there's this idea if someone is able to stop you from progressing, you're now not going to be able to monetize, and that is it because you've gone there to progress. So instead of your self-employed ideas, all of a sudden you've become some form of unpaid employee attempting to navigate the system. That's suppressing your thought process. What you say, how you are, you do, and there may be some genuine reasons why some of the things that you want to do won't be accepted. But once you're aware of the rules and you are following the rules. If, then, there are still things that are preventing you from progressing, then there comes a time to sit back and just reflect right.

Speaker 1: 20:11

I personally went through quite a lot of moments blaming myself, checking in on myself, questioning was I doing enough, what was going on, questioning, was I doing enough, what was going on? But there was a lot that happened this year, a real lot that happened this year, I think. Uh, some someone actually came to all of my live streams and he was from Nigeria and he messaged me to apologize that he couldn't understand to himself why so many people from Nigeria were being sent to my live stream. I thought it was just me, but it is what it is. People are being funneled and the idea is to get as much money from them the growth that they've gone on to. Maybe they've gone on to promote their designs. I've seen a lot of people who are like dress makers and so. So yeah, there's. They're quite keen to connect so that they can sell their services on.

Speaker 1: 21:20

There's a lot of things that we do on these platforms. We don't understand why we do them. We don't research what it is that we're doing and why it's not until later that we start questioning is it something that's going to help us progress and grow? And in the beginning it is really exciting. It's so fast. You feel as if you're progressing and much later, months later, years later, maybe you might question how much progress you've made.

Speaker 1: 21:52

The Creator Network opportunity I felt was a great opportunity to give me access to behind the scenes to see exactly how things worked, and it was the opportunity I needed to really make a decision as to my next steps to move forward. Now I question how my business will grow. How will I do it without social media? How will I make the connection? I'm doing podcasting. The podcast goes through to different countries and different spaces. I am also still working on a website whereby I will be presenting an opportunity to have a membership where people can actually meet and share skills, peer-to-peer coaching, come up with strategies so that we can extend the very networks that we went on to social media to tap into, to create real people coming together, sharing knowledge and helping each other to grow. That will be a space via my website. I'm working on it and I'm hoping to have the discord opportunity or space open so that community can join. I've given myself six months. We're in september, so next year I am hoping to be a whole new woman with my business up and running and connected, and I will have this space on the podcast, sovereign Spotlight, where I will be in a position to spotlight others.

Speaker 1: 23:40

That's one thing that if you're limited in connecting with others on social media, you don't often get an opportunity to do showcase what it is you do in a supportive community, and I'd love to have that space where people can come on and they will be able to work their way up to build their connection and spotlight exactly what it is they do. Empowerment Diaries is also here. I'd like to connect with more people and do my first interview that would be lovely, whereby I can speak to someone about their story and how they've used their own story to transform their personal life, their business life. However it is that their life has been transformed by their story. It would be great to tap into some of those experiences. Thank you for being here. I would love you to tap in and if you see this podcast, please do comment below if there's anything that resonates with you in this podcast.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Tell me if there's an experience that you've had joining social media and what your expectations were versus what you actually experience. Did you get the growth that you wanted? Are you engaged with your community if you are on social media, or is it just a number? Is the platform that you're on doing what it can to encourage international connection, or are you finding that you're in hubs where you're getting more and more of the same because the platform presumes if it puts you in a segregated part of the platform, you'll all get on with it and monetize in your own way? Let me know. Thank you for being here and do connect to the affiliate links below. That will help me greatly in keeping this podcast up and running. Thank you.