S1E7: Let's Pray!: How to Pray and Why

Prayer transforms our spiritual journey from transactional requests to authentic divine communion. Whether you've prayed your entire life or struggle to understand what prayer means, this episode offers fresh perspectives on connecting with the God through prayer.

The foundation of meaningful prayer isn't found in perfect words or formulas but in genuine intention. We explore various approaches—from traditional petitionary prayer to contemplative sitting with God—and examine what makes each practice powerful. Many of us unconsciously default to treating prayer as a spiritual to-do list or desperate bargaining tool when life gets difficult. But what happens when we shift our perspective?

The concept of "the perfect prayer" offers a revolutionary approach: "God, may your perfect will be done for the greater good of all." This simple phrase releases us from the burden of knowing what's best and opens us to divine wisdom beyond our limited understanding. It requires courage to surrender our agenda and trust in something greater, but through this surrender we can experience profound freedom and peace.

Christian contemplative traditions offer another pathway through practices like centering prayer, where we simply sit in God's presence without agenda, consenting to God's divine presence within us. This form of prayer creates space for transformation that goes beyond words and concepts. Even brief moments of intentional connection can profoundly impact our spiritual journey.

This week, consider your true intention when you pray. Is it to get what you want, or to align with divine will? Choose one prayer practice that resonates with you and commit to it daily. Your spiritual journey deepens not through perfection but through consistent, authentic connection with the divine presence that holds us all.

Music by Song Channel Music.  Listen at SongChannelMusic.com

Go to WelcomingGod.com to subscribe to our email newsletter and receive updates about all things Welcoming God.  

Listen to MC Hammer's song, Pray, here.

Keith Kristich at Closer Than Breath, a "contemplative community for the spiritual seeker."

Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation. 

Living the Sacred Yes, Affirmations for Action by Rev. Deborah L. Johnson, pg. 100-101.

Love poems from God by Daniel Ladinsky, pg. 287-288.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Prayer
• 5:20 Different Ways of Prayer
• 9:05 The Perfect Prayer
• 14:20 Surrendering to God's Will
• 19:33 Christian Contemplative Prayer
• 26:16 Weekly Practice and Prayer Poems

Transcript

Introduction to Prayer

Sarah Haykel 0:05

Hi and thanks for joining me on Welcoming God. I say we pray, pray, pray. We got to pray just to make it. Today I say we pray, pray, pray. I say we pray just to make it. Today, I say we pray. I don't even know if those are the real words to that song, but those are the words that are in my mind when I think of that song, and this episode today is all about prayer. So thank you for joining me, Sarah Haykel, here, your host of Welcoming God.

Sarah Haykel 0:59

I am super excited and enthused to talk today about prayer, because on the last episode we talked all about creating a conscious daily practice that supports you to connect more intentionally and consciously with yourself and God on a daily basis, and how this really is the start of creating a more spiritual lifestyle and living a more spiritual life where God is in your life all the time, not just in moments of desperation or on Sunday morning, when you might go to church, or during the holidays to church or, you know, during the holidays. So today we're going to talk about different ways of praying and communing with God, being with God, and this is something that you can do in your daily practice. It's something you can do throughout the day, and this is just a simple tool and there are so many ways to pray. I mean, I'm just going to offer a handful of ideas, but I am sure in traditions around the world there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of different ways of prayer. I'm always learning from different people in my life how to pray. I absolutely love learning different ways of praying, different ways of phrasing things to God, to God. It is so powerful and when it is that authenticity of I am communing with God right now, there is something magical about it for me and I just it's like I gravitate towards it. I just it's like almost awestruck, like yes, I feel it.

Sarah Haykel 3:12

And I think of 2014, when I was asked to paint at that Easter Sunday service I spoke about, maybe in the first episode of Welcoming God, first or second episode. I think about, you know, when I was standing there the day before that Easter Sunday service and they were singing the songs they were going to sing while I was on stage painting live for the Easter Sunday service, and I mean this big auditorium it wasn't even a church, it was filled with the Spirit. I mean I could feel it in my heart space, in my chest. I could just feel the spirit in that space and when they started praying God, we know you love us, we know we're loved. I mean, that shit hit me in the center of my heart space and changed my life. It erupted into a series of events and explorations that would deepen my exploration into God and spirituality and, ultimately, the truth of who I am and who we are, and what this all is, which I'm still learning. Today. I feel like I have no answers, but I have some ideas and some experience and some insights and knowledge to share, inspired through God, from God through me, and I'm so grateful to be here to share this with all of you. So we're on the exploration, we're on the journey together, and today is about prayer.

Different Ways of Prayer

Sarah Haykel 4:47

How do we pray? And I think about the old ways of praying that I still do sometimes like, oh, my God, god, please forgive me for thinking that, please forgive me for saying that, please forgive me for doing that, because I'm so afraid that I've done something wrong and then something bad's going to happen to me because I did something wrong. Like so afraid that I've done something wrong and then something bad is going to happen to me because I did something wrong, and so that's certainly one way of praying that you might be familiar with. There's also praising praising as prayer, thank you, thank you God, thank you life, thank you source, thank you creator, giving thanks for what is in the present moment or for what we have. And I know I've heard people say you know, treat all of your praise equally, whether it's something that you want or something that you don't want. How can you treat your praise, treat everything equally and praise it and give thanks for it? That can be challenging. I'm going to let that land Take a breath. Yeah, how can we be grateful for everything and just say thank you, thank you God, even if it's something we don't like?

Sarah Haykel 6:28

I've heard that about money. Like, can you just be with money in the same way every time, whether it's that you're receiving a lot of money or you lost money or you're getting a little bit of money? Just have the same attitude towards it every time? And I think that's something interesting to consider. As far as giving thanks, giving thanks and praising God for what we have and what is happening in the moment, there's also like groveling Is that the right word? Groveling with God, like, oh please, you know I'm sorry I did this, please do this for me. And begging you know, I know that I definitely can get into that mode of prayer as well Like, please, god, please heal this, please do something, and just praying for the healing.

Sarah Haykel 7:18

And then I think of my spiritual coach who said to me once, my spiritual coach who said to me once there is a perfect prayer and that perfect prayer is God, may your perfect will be done. And my spiritual coach has taught me some sayings to go along with that God, may your perfect will be done for the greater good of all. And that's a concept I learned as well through the Feminine Power course many years ago, but my spiritual coach brought that back into the limelight for me. May your perfect will be done, god, for the greater good of all, for your glory, which to me means the glory of all. When I'm glorifying God, I am truly glorifying the whole of life, with the least amount of suffering and the most amount of joy, in all spaces, places, times, dimensions and realities. So praying for God's perfect will everywhere, all together, for the greater good, with the least amount of suffering and the most amount of joy.

The Perfect Prayer

Sarah Haykel 8:26

And I love that prayer, I use it all the time. It gets me out of my own way because I can go into prayer mode and like pray for everyone and put all these nuanced things and then I'm like this just doesn't, I don't know. Does this feel right? Like, and I love praying for people, I love praying for specific things and lifting that up to God or inviting God into it. So those are two other aspects of prayer. We'll talk about those in a minute. But you know, sometimes I feel like, am I just is this a to-do list? Is my praying like a to-do list? And I'm just getting through it Like, okay, if I don't pray for these people, I'll feel guilty or bad and wrong and that I should pray for them. So that's where authentic prayer really captivates me, because it feels different. It feels like it is from the Holy Spirit, from God, from source, from creator, whatever you believe in as the one true source. It is from this one true source and it's coming through us to offer to life Some other options of prayer, like I just mentioned, inviting God into it, saying God, I invite you into this.

Sarah Haykel 9:51

Emotion, thought, experience, situation, concern, worry, fear, joy, whatever. God, I invite you into this, please come into this, please fill me with you, fill the situation with your spirit, with your grace, your love, whateverering it to God. My cousin encouraged me to do a surrender prayer this past fall, I believe it was, and she said just lay it at the feet of Jesus, lay all your concerns, your worries at the feet of Jesus and just give it up to God. And that was really helpful to remember that. Oh yes, I can give it up to God, I can lift it up to God. I can lift this situation, these thoughts, these experiences, these ideas, these words, these, whatever it is health concerns, worries, whatever it is, health concerns, worries, fears, safety I can lift this up to God and surrender it to the source greater than myself.

Sarah Haykel 11:15

So we've got some different ideas as far as verbal prayers here and intentions, because prayer can also be an intention an intention for what we would love to happen, or our intention for what we truly want, want God to do, which is something that is important to get clear on. You know what is my intention. Do I want my way or do I want God's way, and we've talked about this concept already in those terms. Do I want things my way, and I'm going to do it my way on my own, or am I willing to surrender to God, to the bigger plan, to the higher plan that I can't see? Because I'm not God. I don't understand why everything's happening the way it is, why everything's happening the way it is. But I'm willing to go with God. Even if I don't know, I don't see it all, I don't understand it all, I am willing to trust and listen and respond and do what God is willing through me and ask God to do what is God's perfect will as opposed to my will, like what I think is the right thing.

Sarah Haykel 12:49

So this is tricky. This is tricky territory because it's hard. It's hard for me. I think it's hard for us humans to surrender enough at times to really go with God and to do something that we can't see. We can't see the whole plan, we don't understand it. So it takes courage, it takes faith and trust. Faith and trust, a knowingness that I'm okay, I'm held by God, I know God loves me.

Sarah Haykel 13:30

We talked about that in a recent episode. It gives me some courage to step forward into the unknown, because I know I'm held by the source greater than myself. I've experienced it already. I know I'm held by the source greater than myself. I've experienced it already. I have some real experience with this. I see God showing up in my life. I know it's happening.

Surrendering to God's Will

Sarah Haykel 13:50

God is asking me to step forward into something else. I am going to ask for God's perfect will to be done. For God's perfect will to be done, not my own. I'm going to give it up to God, lift it up to God and allow God to work this through me and through life itself, through others, through creation, in all spaces, places, times, dimensions and realities, for the greater good of all, with the least amount of suffering and the most amount of joy. For your glory God. Amen. How does that land with you? And I know when I say for your glory God, I still have some resistance to that. Like, oh, what does that even mean? Oh, just for God's glory. Like, not my own, not. And I'm starting to get it that for your glory God means, like I said a little while ago, for the glory of the whole. The glory of the one true source is for the betterment of all, everywhere, in all spaces, places, times, dimensions and realities.

Sarah Haykel 15:19

And this might not seem clear, especially when there's a lot of horrific things going on in the world and people can say well, how does this work and why are these people suffering so much and I'm not? Or why is you know? And look, I don't have all the answers you know it's. This is just what I am learning and experiencing in my own seeking God and learning to live in harmony with this one true source. So those are valid questions and I think it's okay to be in the question. And I think it's okay to be in the question and, as my spiritual coach and Darius Pridgen from True Breath of the Baptist, when I went there, when I started opening up to God, they were the ones I painted for at Easter Sunday service in 2014.

Sarah Haykel 16:14

And other teachers say talk to God about it, god about it. You know, if you have a sincere question, talk to God about it and say God, I want to know about this. Do you want me, or what do you want me to understand about this? I need help. I feel mad, I feel confused and ask God directly. God, I'm talking to you. I want to know from you, god, the one true God, that's who I'm talking to right now. Please guide me. What do you want me to understand about this? And then, what's it like to just be open. You can even journal right then and there, or you can let it go and allow God to speak to you through you in your life.

Sarah Haykel 17:06

Sometimes I do that I will ask God to give me clarity about something and then I just let it go. I watch TV or I move on with my day and all of a sudden, at some point in the day, I will just get this revelation, oh my God. And I keep track of those. I have a Google Drive doc. I keep track of my insights, I date them and write them down and it just helps me with my growth journey. And it also helps to look back on those like oh right, remember this, remember this. I like to do a monthly check-in. I started doing that this year, a monthly check-in to see what I've learned every month, where I've been, and it just helps refresh my memory and then I can move forward into the next month with more purpose, clarity and intention.

Christian Contemplative Prayer

Sarah Haykel 18:02

So, coming back to this idea of different ways of praying, asking for God's support, there are other ways of praying too. There's a whole tradition of Christian contemplative prayer which is more about being with God than asking God for anything. So like centering prayer, which Thomas Keating made very popular in our modern Christian culture, meditation could be a form of prayer sitting with God without any agenda. That's what contemplative Christian centering prayer is all about is sitting with God, doing our best to not get caught up in the thoughts and the needs of our parts and all of that, but just noticing them, letting them move away and coming back to our prayer word, which is that anchor to reminding ourselves of our intention of the Centering prayer practice to sit in the space, the presence, the stillness of God consciously and to do that practice with intention and then see what happens from there. I'm not asking God for anything, I'm just sitting with God in the presence of God, they say consenting to God, and it is a beautiful practice.

Sarah Haykel 19:48

I remember when I was introduced to contemplative Christian tradition through my cousin, during COVID actually, she sent me Richard Rohr's email, one of his emails and introduced me to the Center for Action and Contemplation which Richard Rohr started and he's a Franciscan priest and that was my introduction into this world of Christian contemplative tradition. And it's a beautiful tradition and I love it. But back then it was really hard for me. It was like, oh my God, my mind was going and after a few more years of therapy and parts work and I felt like I was able to clear out enough stuff that I could start to actually engage in sitting with God and it became a real joy for me to just set a reminder on my phone. Every day at around this time of the day I would give myself the grace of sitting with God and I would literally just sit on my couch or lay down. I would even allow myself to doze off if I did. It wasn't a big deal, it was more about just saying, right now I'm going to be with God. And then I kind of let go of that practice for a while. And then last year I came back to it. I was having an existential crisis and reached out to my friend Keith Christich at Closer Than Breath and he said you know, check out our group and they do Centering Prayer Monday through Friday together, and that's when I started in earnest with this practice again and it is beautiful.

Sarah Haykel 21:33

So there are many different ways of praying, even meditating, if you do mantra type meditation, where you're repeating a sacred mantra or some kind of inspiring or empowering mantra, or you are even just connecting in with yourself, like doing a body scan or connecting in with your body sensations, to just check in to the moment with yourself, as a way to cultivate that noticing and that awareness and allowing, like clearing out more, a little more space by noticing what's there, letting it be, allowing it to evolve, giving it space, and sometimes that stuff can just clear the emotions, the sensations and all of a sudden you're in a much more open space to connect with the divine. So there are so many different ways of praying and what I'd like to do actually in the next episode is to practice a little centering prayer meditation with you and actually we usually don't put those two things together centering prayer meditation but I'd like to do a little practice with you on the next episode. So what I'd like to ask for you today is to consider your intention for prayer.

Sarah Haykel 23:03

What is your intention for praying and how can you just give yourself a few minutes today to contemplate that? You can journal about it, you can just think about it, you can go for a walk and think about it, be out in nature, whatever works for you, but what is your real intention for prayer? And look, be honest with yourself. I'm even getting inside myself like, oh yeah, I know, sometimes when I pray, it's because I want to get what I want. Yeah, okay, that's definitely there.

Sarah Haykel 23:36

Just this is a loving, compassionate exploration. That's definitely there. Just this is a loving, compassionate exploration. You know, even if some shame comes up or embarrassment, or guilt, it's all good. We can deal with hard emotions, difficult emotions. You just give yourself that grace to recognize that you can call God into it. God, I need help with these emotions. Right now I'm feeling bad about this or I'm feeling bad about myself. God, please come into this, help me process through this, help me understand this, help me to have the grace and compassion towards myself that you have always towards me. We can lift it up to God. Okay, so just exploring what is my intention for prayer. I'm going to do that too.

Sarah Haykel 24:21

And then this next week, what type of prayer would you like to experiment with? Is there one that I mentioned that really resonates, or another one that you know of? So think, what one way of praying am I going to try every day this next week until the next episode, and I'm going to do it at this time of the day. I'm going to set a reminder on my phone or an alarm on my phone to go off at this time every day. That's my reminder to pray, whether it's for 10 seconds or a minute, or five minutes or 20, whatever works for you, just get in touch with what type of prayer would you like to practice and experiment with this next week? So I'd like to leave you with a prayer, and I might do a couple of prayers here.

Weekly Practice and Prayer Poems

Sarah Haykel 25:17

I've got this wonderful book from Reverend Deborah L Johnson, living the Sacred yes, affirmations for Action, and I've just opened up to a page here, page 100 to 101, our Indwelling Christ. There is a Christ consciousness that dwells in each and every one of us. It is our awareness of ourselves as spiritual beings, perfect, whole and complete. It can be neither created nor destroyed, only revealed. Our indwelling Christ is pure and intrinsic. The heart is its womb and incubator, never stagnant or stale, it is always fresh and genuine. Genuine, our indwelling Christ is fully present, redeeming each moment in oneness and love. The Christ in me affirms and supports the Christ in you. Together, we are a mirror unto the world that says look at how beautiful life in truth can be. That's so beautiful so you could even pause the podcast right now and just contemplate this prayer for a few moments, contemplate this prayer for a few moments, and that could be a form of prayer, like Lectio Divina, which I'm learning about myself. And let's read one more. This is from St Teresa of Avila From 1515 to 1582, from the book Love.

Sarah Haykel 27:33

Poems from God 12 Sacred Voices from the East and West, daniel Ladinsky. This poem is called the Grail. They are like shy young school kids, time and space before the woman and the man who are intimate with God. The realized soul can play with this universe the way a child can. A ball, a chalice. The grail my body became, for it held the Christ and he drank from me. The Grail is each creature and beauty may worry about its comeliness waning. We fear dying till we know the truth of ourselves.

Sarah Haykel 28:28

I got to read that line again. We fear dying till we know the truth about ourselves. The seams on my body are torn. I have stepped from that region of me that did not love all the time. There is a divine world of light with many suns in the sky. I slept with my Lord one night. Now all that is luminous. I know we conceived Beautiful. So I'm going to leave you with those prayers, poems today. Have a wonderful day, enjoy your journey through prayer this week and I will see you on the next episode for some practices. Thanks for joining me on another episode of Welcoming God. Please subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen and consider leaving us a review, as it helps more people find and benefit from this show. Music by Song Channel Music. You can listen and hear more at songchannelmusiccom. Until we meet again, aloha nui loa, take care, and God bless, thank you.