Eps 09 Motherhood, Migration, and Making a Business: Bridgette's Journey

Bridgette Bolton shares her journey from South Africa to New Zealand and reflects on the challenges and rewards of building a new life abroad. She offers wisdom about motherhood at 40, business transitions, and the practice of mindfulness in daily life.

• Moving permanently from South Africa to New Zealand created both freedom and loneliness
• Embracing motherhood at 40 after initially not wanting children transformed her identity completely
• Working as field guides in Botswana's Okavango Delta taught intense presence amid wild animals
• The shift from fast-paced Johannesburg agency life to relaxed New Zealand required significant adjustment
• Starting Bolton Inc brought challenges of patience when "the vision in my head has not materialized yet"
• "Future pacing" decisions by considering their long-term implications provides valuable guidance
• Daily meditation and journaling practices help maintain perspective and tap into deeper awareness
• Critical thinking and questioning in teenagers suggests "the world is in very safe hands"
• Creative projects including writing a book on purpose and a children's book provide fulfillment
• Interviewing people and eliciting their stories remains a core passion in business ventures

Be kind to those around you and be kinder to yourself every day.

Transcript

Welcome to The Bolton Inc Effect

Speaker 1 0:00

The Bolton Inc Effect. Hey there, I'm Louis and I'm Bridget. Welcome to the Bolton Inc Effect podcast, where we are navigating new horizons.

Speaker 2 0:10

Each week, we're pulling back the curtain on what it really takes to build something remarkable a business, a life and a legacy.

Speaker 1 0:16

So join us as we share honest conversations about relationship, entrepreneurship, video production and the art of building a life together in a new land.

Speaker 2 0:25

Because sometimes the biggest risks lead to the greatest rewards. How can we help?

Speaker 1 0:31

Can I ask you a question? The Bolton Inc.

Speaker 2 0:33

Effect Morning Bridge, Morning Louis. How are you? I'm good, thank you, how are you? It's been?

Speaker 1 0:39

a while, hasn't it it sure?

Speaker 2 0:41

has.

Speaker 1 0:42

yeah, we had a few reasons why we didn't do it, but I'm glad that we're back on the horse. It's good. Let's get into it. Today we're going to talk about you. We've spoken about me and now let's talk about you.

Bridget's Journey from South Africa

Speaker 1 0:54

Um, I know we have taken a bit of a break and there's been a few things that have happened and etc. Etc. But I thought it would be wonderful to actually just have a chat to you and to see what, um, what we can learn about you and your journey from since we've been together and moving into business and motherhood, et cetera. And so I'll just get straight into it. Can you just share a little bit about your journey with the audience and me, obviously like an audience of one? Can you just share a bit about your journey? You're my favorite audience, just by the way. She says um, what's your journey been like from South Africa to New Zealand? And and what do you reckon the the move, how's it changed or influenced your perspective on life and business? Let's start with life and then go into the business side of things.

Speaker 2 1:40

So, life first um, yeah, I mean so making a move from south africa, uh, I just sort of I closed the door and I knew I was never going to go back, but I don't have any family there, I think that's that's where my journey is slightly different to yours. So there's no calling for me to go back when I flew out. That was it, um, but. But coming here I realized that it's actually quite lonely. You know, I really miss my circle of friends, the people who just get me, because we speak the same language, we have the same reference, we have the same points. Um, for our sense of humor, we um. So, so that's so. That's definitely been.

Speaker 2 2:19

From from a life perspective, that is, um, potentially something that I'm a potential downside, but it's made up for in so many other ways. Um, new zealand is safe. I know when you go out, you're safe. When kenzie goes out, she's safe, and that plays a very big role in my sense of safety and happiness you mentioned like there's so much to unpack there, though, because, um, you moved when you were slightly older.

Speaker 1 2:48

We moved when we were slightly older. Yeah, and you have traveled and I think we have mentioned this in the podcast previously in terms of moving to another country and setting up life but this immigration process from south africa to new zealand was a permanent one. It was a, like we said, a plan a. There wasn't plan b or c, but for you, I mean, looking back now, it's been nearly six years oh, it's been more than six years.

Speaker 1 3:09

Actually in september I think it'll be seven it'll be seven years in september so for you, what do you reckon the biggest change that you've noticed within yourself over that seven years? And I mean there's many, I know, but if you could maybe just pick three um, I don't really think I know how to answer that.

Speaker 2 3:33

I I think that as we grow older, we evolve and we change anyway. Um, and those changes in my personality or my body or my physicality would probably happen wherever I was.

Speaker 1 3:50

Let me rephrase the question how has it been without having that circle of friends in real life around you? In other words, you've only just had me and Kenzie. Sorry, Miss 14.

Speaker 2 4:01

I think that two things come into play there. Number one we had COVID, which meant that the whole world was locked down for a long time.

Speaker 1 4:09

But that was five years ago already?

Speaker 2 4:11

Yep, it certainly was. But what I can still see is that we've become quite insular. A lot of people and we do talk back to the time when COVID put us in our homes and kept us there, and that, for me, wasn't an issue, because I'm a home bug, I love being at home and I'm okay with your company and I'm okay with my own company and the three of us get on so well. That doesn't mean that Kenzie's this little person who stays at home and does nothing with herself. She's very gregarious, she's very social, she's very out there. Yeah, I guess it just. This is life. I do miss my friends, but I don't think I focus on that because there's so much upside All right then.

Speaker 1 5:02

moving on a little bit then, what was it like becoming a mom at 40, and how do you reckon motherhood has shaped your approach to business and creativity?

Motherhood at 40: A New Identity

Speaker 2 5:14

um, so I never wanted kids, as as you know. And when and when I I was asked a question by a doctor who thought I was a mother, and he kind of helped me future pace that decision, which is how old were you when you were born? 39. Okay, yeah, 39. Because Kenzie was literally born when I was 40, which is born a few days after my 40th birthday.

Speaker 2 5:40

But what that did teach me was a very valuable life's lesson that I go back to again and again.

Speaker 2 5:45

We make decisions, but we don't really future pace those decisions, and I hadn't future paced the decision of not having a child.

Speaker 2 5:52

And so when he put that to me in such a different way, I thought to myself well, it's OK to and we hadn't planned to leave the country, then it's OK to live on a farm and to have lots of animals and to be in nature.

Speaker 2 6:03

Hadn't planned to leave the country, then it's okay to live on a farm and to have lots of animals and to be in nature. But what about on a birthday and a Christmas, when everybody else sits with their family and you're, you have me and I just have you? And I also thought to myself we have so much love to share between the two of us. It just felt like such a wonderful nurturing ground to bring another soul onto the journey with us, and I know that sounds very high-level thinking, but that was what was going through my mind at the moment. I was very, very adamant that the world was on its path to an ecological disaster and we shouldn't be putting more humans on the planet and all that sort of thing and really ignoring, I guess, this thing inside me that probably did want to A get married, even though I always thought I didn't, and then to have a child.

Speaker 1 6:49

What does motherhood mean to you?

Speaker 2 6:52

It's meant many different things the evolution. It's meant giving up entirely who I was when Kenzie was a baby and her being the focus of everything, Me being her life force, her life source, everything.

Speaker 1 7:08

So someone listening to this who doesn't have kids, a young girl, a female who doesn't have kids, married or not, do you think you were very selfish before kids? And the only reason I ask that question is because you can only make that distinction because now you have a child. I think selfish is potentially a negative connotation and I don't think that I was selfish.

Speaker 2 7:25

The only reason I ask that question is because you can only make that distinction, because now you have a child. I think selfish is potentially a negative connotation and I don't think that I was selfish. I mean, I lived for you and I lived for me. And our group of friends didn't have kids young, none of us really did. You know, we spent years in London or years traveling and we had our careers and that was okay and that was enough.

Speaker 1 7:43

I've seen you blossom as a mother. Motherhood did you wonders?

Speaker 2 7:51

oh, I love being a mom I really do, almost finding your place finding another place for myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, very much so, finding finding my identity as a parent. But that journey in itself needs to unravel, and then you know she doesn't need my child, doesn't need somebody hovering anymore, she needs freedom and she needs to go out and find that freedom and feel it and then come back when it doesn't feel safe. And so my role is very different.

Speaker 1 8:20

I don't want to sound like a psychologist or psychoanalyst, but how does that make you feel?

Speaker 2 8:25

Yeah, it's very empowering. I think it's great because I know she always does come back. That's a change of.

Speaker 1 8:33

That's a change for you, because you I mean you love Miss 14. And I know that you will rue the day when she does leave.

Speaker 2 8:43

Well, she's not allowed to leave. Remember we said that she's not allowed to have a boyfriend until she's 45 and she's going to live in the basement. Sorry, that's the budget that I know. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 8:54

How does it make you feel to pour so much energy into her, knowing that she is going to leave, because that's what we are parenting her for? I don't know.

Speaker 2 9:04

I don't know how to answer that. I can't live now thinking about that. Yes, of course it's going to be terrible. It's going to be terrible. I don't want her to go overseas, but if she must, then she must. Sure, you know, I know what I did when I was overseas. I don't know that I phone my mom every day. I bet there were weeks where my mom hadn't heard from me and she potentially was worrying, and I'll probably be in that position.

Speaker 1 9:26

The journey will be one to discover as we move. Yeah, exactly, in terms of motherhood and your creativity, bearing in mind. There's a caveat to that thing that I believe that we're all created beings, and there's a caveat to that thing that I believe that we're all created beings, but how have you?

Speaker 2 9:53

seen motherhood affect your journey with your creativity. I want to explore more, I want to write more, I want to nurture more creativity, but I don't necessarily think that I've seen those two linked together. I think that's more just an evolution of me fulfilling something that feels more purposeful to me. I don't know that parenting and creativity I'm not sure what the correlation is. I don't see that parenting and creativity I'm not sure what the correlation is.

Speaker 1 10:24

I don't see it for me.

Speaker 2 10:25

Well, I think it's a sense of play, because you play with your child as she grows up and you have to find that childlike quality in yourself in order to facilitate the fun times, which I think spills over into your adult life, into your writing, into the way you see the world, into how you look at things, Definitely into your writing into the way you see the world, into how you look at things, definitely, and I guess, being able to go to that level of childlikeness where you're exploring the world and I was just thinking, you know, all the leaves are changing colour and it's so beautiful, you've got all the autumn leaves.

Speaker 2 11:01

And they're actually all over the house because of all the wind, and how fascinated Kenzie always was with those leaves, and I think to myself has she lost something by not noticing that anymore? But she hasn't, because there was a time in her own evolution where that was fascinating the shape of a leaf and we got books together and we pressed them and you know we would go on our walks and then we came back and did research on what tree that was, and you know. And then we came back and did research and what tree that was. So I guess those journeys unfold as they do, and now the next bit of creativity, I guess, is incorporating AI into how we do things. So Kenzie's starting to use that, talking to it and creating and seeing what she can come up with. That's a whole new journey. And that's a whole new journey and it's a separate podcast, Correct?

Speaker 1 11:43

Cool, Appreciate those insights. I've learned a few things about just listening to you talk back about that journey. I just want to go back to before we met, or just after we met. We landed up going to Botswana and we were field guides and lodge managers in Botswana and the Okavango Delta. We were very blessed and we worked hard to get there and we got there and Okavango Delta was a time of our lives. We worked flipping hard in the hospitality industry but we were in, dare I say it, the Garden of Eden, you know, with wild animals and just everything you wanted and I wanted. How did your experience working at Botswana and being close to nature influence your outlook, I want to say, of sustainability and marketing, but that's almost too separate.

Speaker 2 12:45

Well, I guess the one does influence the other, because I am a marketer at heart and sustainability is always at the very bottom of everything I think and consider.

Botswana Wildlife: Living in Nature

Speaker 1 12:54

So how did that influence the way you think about it now? The way you feel about it now? I mean, we were there for just under two years and it was a very different life compared to what we're now now. The way you feel about it now, I mean, we were there for just just under two years, um, and and it was a very different life compared to what we're now in in new zealand.

Speaker 2 13:10

Well, I mean we lived in a, in a little reed and thatch hut, um, and, and sometimes a tent, depending on which lodge we were looking after, um, the boardwalk was elevated so that you were Because we were on a floodplain, yes safe from the water. When the water came in from Angola, the changes that you see there from month to month were incredible. You know, they were like 10x, based on what you see in the city, because it would be really dry, tennixed, based on what you see in the city because it would be really dry. And then you would hear via the, the grapevine, that that, that the the water in Angola had started, and then it would come down and slowly seep down and you see, the trickle, and the trickle would get thicker and thicker and the water would come faster until eventually you needed those little mocorros to get off the island, you needed to get in a vessel, a boat vessel.

Speaker 1 14:05

You might have to explain to the audience what a mokoro is.

Speaker 2 14:08

Like a carved out wooden boat made from a tree trunk with a long pole that you could cruise down like a gondola.

Speaker 1 14:16

But the sustainability part about that is they're no longer carved out of Correct, correct, big pieces of wood Of tree. They're now more sustainable.

Speaker 2 14:23

The trees are so sacred, correct big pieces of wood of tree the trees are so sacred and you would cruise down and you would have to. When you were going through the reeds, you had to be very particular in the distance about what was the shadow of a hippo which would upend you and eat you, or just a reed bed and walking. There were fun times Walking to our lodge at night. We have to. You know, you would be the eyes and I would be the ears and I could hear the slightest little rustle.

Speaker 1 14:52

The only reason she's saying that I was the eyes and she was the ears is because I'm as deaf as a doornail, so I can't hear a thing, and Bridget's eyesight is questionable at best. I don't know why she loves me, but anyway. But that's why I've got glasses, bro. Okay, so it just makes me think about like we were in nature and we were with wild animals elephants, leopard, lion, baboon hyenas, giraffes, zebras everything yes.

Speaker 1 15:18

African wildlife. Why do you think I mean, we faced some pretty interesting real challenges then, and it just makes me think about our time now, having started this business and I've got some questions about Bolton Inc, which I'll get to why do you think we, after having faced some of those challenges, do you think we have had that ingrained in our bodies or our behaviours? Or do you think we've forgotten and we just have what ingrained in our bodies or our behaviors? Or do you think we've forgotten and we just have?

Speaker 1 15:45

what ingrained in our behaviors. Facing down a lion, a lion chasing you, protecting you with cubs, or being charged by an elephant I mean, that's quite a thing. Yeah, that was frightening, and no one out there who's never experienced that will ever understand what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 15:57

No, no, that was frightening, that was pretty scary.

Speaker 1 15:59

You know scary, but you feel alive. When a lion looks into your eyes, you know that you're alive. All your senses are on high alert and you're alive and it sees you and once you are seen, you feel part of something much bigger than what you are.

Speaker 2 16:16

It's something that it's very hard to explain. It's very hard to explain Because you are out of your body somehow and experiencing it.

Speaker 1 16:30

I think you are in your body so much more. I think you are so present.

Speaker 2 16:33

Yeah, maybe maybe that's a better way that nothing else actually meant present.

Speaker 1 16:37

Maybe present is the better way and I think now, this day and age, where we are now we are, so not present but that's why we meditate, because we are so worried about the future that's why we meditate.

Speaker 2 16:45

Yeah, you meditate to come back to the present, because this present moment is all that we have. Otherwise, you live in a time machine. You're going backwards and forwards all the time. A decision I made, a decision I'm going to make, and I'm by no means a Deepak Chopra, but I'm always. You are unique, I'm always reminded by you to just remember to live in the present.

Speaker 1 17:08

Yeah, it's a tough one, that it's work.

Speaker 2 17:13

Of course it's work, but what else are you going to do? Are you going to constantly worry about an event that may or may not happen, an outcome that may or may not happen?

Speaker 1 17:21

Yeah, we're going slightly off track here, because I think the monkey mind is something very difficult to control if you're not in the environment that you want to be in.

Speaker 2 17:26

That's why you observe it and you notice what it's doing all the time. And I've said this to you before If your brain, if your mind was another person and they were your flatmate, you would have got rid of them long ago. Head From one minute to the next, you're the hero and then you're the worst person on earth. You're lazy or you're guilty or you've done such a great job. The person upstairs, if you listen to everything it says, is completely and utterly unstable. It's just so much easier to observe it. How do you observe it? How do you observe it when the thought comes in, when a thought comes in and you think, okay, well, what is that grounded in?

Speaker 2 18:10

Like the last couple of weeks not having been well and having had this horrible flu virus or whatever it is that's going down and coming out of that there's definitely a sense of sadness and like I felt a bit depressed actually after two weeks of being in bed and so I could have followed that path, and that really made me feel horrid. I mean, I was lazy, I'm never going to achieve anything. I never wanted to get out of bed again. I didn't want to ever go and chase a lead down or make contact with people. I didn didn't want to go out the house, okay, so if I follow all of those paths, like what's left of my life, I'm just sitting, you know, on the couch.

Speaker 2 18:51

So what got you on it? Because I observed it and I said to myself okay, this is obviously the result of not feeling well, just go with it. And you're very good with that. And it was your kindness, too, that kept saying this is not how you normally are, so just go with it. And then suddenly you notice that you're feeling a bit better, that you feel a bit more inspired, that a thought triggers another thought, and then you remember about gratitude, and you remember to be in the moment and you remember to be appreciative of everything, and being grateful is an enormously powerful tool.

Speaker 1 19:24

I think it's very difficult to no. Let me rephrase that I think there's moments of clarity where you can be just present. I mean talking to you now, for example, on the podcast um puts me in quite a present state of mind.

Agency Life vs. Running Bolton Inc

Speaker 1 19:37

I don't know how it feels for you yeah sure, because there's nothing else, it's just you and me and I think sometimes and it can be a danger starting starting a business like we have, um, where you sit in an office and you're like, okay, shit, what am I going to do today? What am I going to do today? So you start, you start thinking about the future but, like, as you said, the monkey mind goes mental, yeah, and you've just got to like case that monkey mind by doing something else, or um, or, observing it, and just just this is where I'm right now yeah, yeah, faith plays a big part of it, but we'll get to that, yeah, um, can you talk about the differences you've noticed between working in a city agency environment versus running your own business in a more relaxed setting?

Speaker 2 20:18

so oh, there's, there's, there's, there's. There's a lot to unpack with that. So a a city. We're talking about Jobu, because that's the last time I really worked in an agency a thriving, crazy, manic agency like you see in the movies and there's no time to pause. Going to the toilet is a waste of time. You eat at your desk, you're on the phone in the car all the time. I mean I remember my clients phoning me at 7 o'clock in the morning, even earlier, and that was life. So you'd finish a meeting and by the time you got back to your office and you'd been stuck in the traffic for an hour. By the time you got back to the office, the things that you were supposed to action in the meeting had to have happened already. So there was an enormous amount of pressure, a huge amount of pressure. But we were young and it was a different dynamic that drove us. And that's what happens when you're in your 30s. You're on that real journey to express yourself, to feel a sense of accomplishment, to thrive and strive for what it is that you want, to get, to Climb the corporate ladder, yeah, and so that drives a lot of the decisions you make and a lot of the stress that one is willing to tolerate.

Speaker 2 21:35

Coming to New Zealand is a very, very different kind of energy level, especially Tauranga, and so this is an island and people are a lot more laid back. So I mean I've spoken to people in meetings here in Tauranga and they've said to me oh, I can hear you, south African, like other than my accent. No, no, no, it's, it's the pace at which you speak. I'm like, okay, okay, I hear you. So I still think that's a secret weapon. We're still very well.

Speaker 2 21:59

It depends because we've both been called up on it. We've both been told that we're a little bit overexcited. We've both been told to tone down. We've both been told that we're a little bit overexcited. We've both been told to tone down our behavior. We've both been told to put a little bit of a lid on it, or you know, we've both heard that. So you develop this way of being. You develop this sort of little ecosystem in your brain that just constantly fires up, and then you change and the environment around you is a lot more chilled. And then you change and the environment around you is a lot more chilled, and then you've got to kind of settle into that environment and things take a lot slower and somebody may not call you back for three weeks, four weeks, and it's not even unusual. But when you're so used to making things happen so quickly, that can be quite a culture shock.

Speaker 1 22:37

And a challenge.

Speaker 2 22:38

So there's a culture shock and there's the challenge of that going from agency going to our own business, going from a very hard-driven Johannesburg to a much slower pace here.

Speaker 1 22:50

Do you think the worldview that you have is beneficial or a hindrance?

Speaker 2 22:56

The worldview that I have changes every day. The worldview changes every single day. So one day I'm ecstatic about what, for example, AI is going to do to the future for all of us. And then I watch a podcast with Stephen Bartlett and I think, oh shit, there's a whole lot of things there that I haven't been thinking about. And then, you know, somebody will mention that there's this war blowing up, and I think, oh well, how will that impact things? And then I've got to keep coming back and going. Okay, but I'm here, Okay, All right.

Speaker 1 23:32

Okay, so moving on from agency to starting our own business, what were some of the biggest challenges you faced when starting Bolton Inc. And how have you overcome them? I mean, I can answer that for myself.

Speaker 2 23:50

Well, I don't think I've overcome anything just yet. I think that we are both. It's still in its infancy, very much so I think that we are overcoming things.

Speaker 1 23:57

Let me ask you this what's the most frustrating part for you at the moment, having started Bolton Inc?

Speaker 2 24:03

That the vision in my head has not materialized just yet. What was that vision? That everything that I thought that we would be doing hasn't happened as quickly as I imagined it to be doing. And so that is, every now and then, what gives me pause and makes me think is this the right thing? Are we doing the right thing? And then I have to keep coming back to holding that vision, and I know that the energy that I project out is the energy that I receive back.

Speaker 2 24:28

So if I'm desperate and if I'm frustrated, that's what's going to be echoed back to me, because the world is exclusively energy, isn't it and so rather channel and rather focus positivity and have a and have a future-paced plan and believe in that plan and see yourself and see who you will be then.

Speaker 1 24:50

Who you want to become.

Speaker 2 24:51

Who you want to become. What's the biggest?

Speaker 1 24:53

challenge at the moment Rich.

Speaker 2 24:57

Being in an echo chamber with you. Not that you're the challenge, but being in the echo chamber, no, no, I mean that. Thanks for the clarification. I mean, you know, if we shake the snow globe, it's still only our thoughts. That's, that's get that gets shoved and pummeled around, and so I think that, um, we both need to be out there with more people more of the time, um, and we need to make more of an effort to be doing that, and I have to say, the last three weeks have definitely taken a toll on me, just not being well and the mindset and all of that, and that's been interesting to observe.

Speaker 1 25:35

So the second part of that question I mean you've mentioned some of the challenges is how have you overcome them or how do you want to overcome them? How can I help? How have you overcome them or how do you want to overcome them?

Speaker 2 25:47

How can I help? Right now I don't think that I'm feeling resourceful enough to understand how to overcome those challenges. So the small things that I'm doing. I'm really excited and I'm almost nervous to say it because I don't want to fail, but I've wanted to write a book for so long. I've got two books that I have in my mind. There's this one that is about purpose and and yeah, I can feel that I'm nervous to talk about it and there's this other book that is a children's book that I've been, that I've been working on ever since kens was about two and she would always say to us at night that she wanted to hear a story out my mouth yeah, instead of reading a story out your mouth and I would tell her about timothy mouse.

Overcoming Business Challenges

Speaker 2 26:34

And so timothy mouse lives in my head. I see him and I can smell this little mouse and I know him and and he's got all these adventures that he goes on, but I've always been hamstrung because I don't know how to make the illustrations. But now that we've got AI bang Timothy Mouse, I can actually see him come to come to life.

Speaker 1 26:50

So we can, we expect the book yeah, no pressure, but I hear it, you. When something is so close to your heart and has been part of your makeup and part of what you've wanted to do for so long, it can be very fearful to voice it and actually put it out there because of the fear of failure. But then again you go into the present state and the future state, which you are worried about, an outcome that hasn't happened.

Speaker 2 27:14

Well, exactly, and your question was how do I overcome the challenges? So, when you go back to that question, overcoming the challenges is doing something that you love to do, and the last couple of days because, as I've said, I was sick for a couple of weeks I've been doing things that I felt I had to do and I really didn't want them. I don't want to go on LinkedIn and try to hustle for leads. Really, it just makes my stomach drop when I think about it. It puts out a weird energy, exactly because I'm just not feeling that. How do you overcome that? Well, so, once again, the right thing happens at the right time.

Speaker 2 27:50

So, watching one of the Stephen Bartlett DOAC podcasts, he mentioned the Stand Challenge and I went and I did some research, I figured it out and it's actually given me the opening to do something. So it's selling a digital product online and that made me actually sit down. And I've got all of these chapters of this book and I've put them in and I'm fleshing them out and I'm adding bits that I've learned from Deepak Chopra and things that I remember from Tony Robbins and little bits of journal entries and I'm putting all of this together in a way that feels really alive and feels really right and feels really uplifting for me.

Speaker 1 28:25

And I look forward. I look so forward to sharing that actually, you've got to put it out into the world. The audience there will give you the feedback that you need when you move forward. You know and you're in a supportive environment here. Yeah, exactly, there's a great great, great bonus at the end of it, which I know you put in, which was meditation, which I think is, and I created that Incredible.

Speaker 2 28:46

I found this voice that I love. I found that med doing stuff that I really wanted to do and so that I have to remind myself every day do what fills you with passion. Where do you feel it in your body when, like, my whole body lights up? Like I can feel it in my chest, I can feel in my tummy, my eyes want to smile, my mouth smiles, I can feel the.

Speaker 1 29:09

I can feel it kind of like you felt when you first met me oh yes, some something like that bridge. How do you balance your roles as a business owner, a mom, a I nearly said a husband, a wife, and everything else that you do in your life? How do you balance all of that?

Speaker 2 29:30

um well, I'm just so incredibly skilled, louis. Fortunately at this time or unfortunately we're not that busy. Business is not that busy.

Speaker 1 29:42

Business is not that busy.

Speaker 2 29:44

Yeah, so there's a lot of time to evolve spiritually and emotionally, which means that when things do get busy, I imagine that I'll be ready. And our daughter's pretty self-sufficient, you know, she comes home, she makes us laugh.

Speaker 1 30:03

She has a bed.

Speaker 2 30:06

Yeah, she makes us laugh for a bit, shares some of her day, has a nibble, and then inevitably the three of us or the two of us will make dinner together. She'll go and shower. So life is just unfolding and it's quite magical, yeah.

Speaker 1 30:22

Also, this whole work-life balance thing is a very interesting topic and it may require another podcast on this, because I don't necessarily believe that this whole work-life balance thing, or balance is a, is a is a real concept.

Speaker 2 30:37

It's a myth? Yeah, there is no there's no balance. You've got to do what you do when the energy is right, whatever that is the body wants to remain in a constant state of homeostasis, so it's always looking for a balance.

Speaker 1 30:49

Nature is always looking for a balance, you know, and there's all those cliche sayings and it's how I start this podcast is know that self you know, um, as as within, so without you know, up down in out, light, dark, all those kind of concepts which speak to a balance in life. But life it can get messy, life can get complicated and messy and and unexpected things happen you know and I know I've listened to thousands of podcasts as well and the people that are at the top of their game.

Speaker 1 31:21

I can tell you right now they've sacrificed a lot in terms of it's not balanced no because if you want to be an entrepreneur and be the top of your game, you have to sacrifice something family going out, you know all those kind of things to be a success. And it's what you do in the, in the, in the sort of downtime, in the shadows that nobody kind of sees. And they see the top one percent or the top ten percent of what you do and then you think to yourself like I'm a failure because I haven't done the work. But you've actually done the work. So your balance is because you're such a brilliant mom and you're a brilliant businesswoman and you're a fantastic wife. You know, I kind of think that I dare I say, but the average joe, the average person on the street, is doing all right, yeah we're doing all right.

Speaker 2 32:05

You know, we're just getting average person on the street. We're doing all right.

Mindfulness and Future Pacing

Speaker 1 32:08

We're doing all right okay, so what advice would you give to other women who are looking to reinvent themselves later in life? I mean whether that's starting a new career or launching a business.

Speaker 2 32:24

I sometimes wonder whether advice is a dangerous thing, because I can only live according to my….

Speaker 2 32:32

You can share your experience yeah, your lived experience, my lived experience and that's a little bit of experience in my lived experience and that's a little bit about what this book is about. So if you want to start your own business and you are a little bit older in life, things do feel different. I feel very different now at 50 plus than I did at 40 or 30 or 20, obviously, and that's and that's just the human evolution. I've learned wonderful life lessons. So you take evolution, you take life lessons, you take energy levels. You can take all those things into account and the fact that, as we get older, another thing I guess that we take into account is menopause. So, on that evolutionary scale, we are now no longer making babies for the tribe, we are now looking after the babies for the tribe. You're the elder Totally, and just because I'm not a crone with gray hair and a humpback, it doesn't mean that I don't have those things that I want to share.

Speaker 1 33:40

I understand what you're saying. I would go so far as to say you have so much to share that you actually don't know where to start.

Speaker 2 33:47

And that's why this book is sorry I keep getting back to it, but that's why it's been such a clarifying moment for me, because there are so many steps to to feeling fulfilled, to being able to start a business, to being an older mom. There is such a lovely, brooding, energetic mix of passion and purpose and um and and energy in that, you know, and dabbling around a little bit in the matrix as to what's possible and to um, what we can manifest, um and and whether that's. Yeah, there's there's lots to write the book, bridge. I know I'm I'm busy, so there's a whole All right.

Speaker 1 34:35

so then, give me three pieces of advice or pearls of wisdom, which you always have, if you spoke to your 40-year-old self now, about starting, about looking, reinventing yourself or something? Just three pearls of wisdom.

Speaker 2 34:51

So the first thing is future pace every decision. Okay, consider what it is that you're deciding and put yourself years ahead and see what the impact of that decision is. It's one of the things that we are never, ever taught. But every decision you make today will have an impact further down the line and if you don't think about it, life will sway you in a certain decision, because life is energy and energy must move. So future pace every decision. And energy must move. So future pace, every decision.

Speaker 2 35:15

Make sure that you know, or have an idea of what that outcome of that decision could be, whether it's not to have children, whether it's to have children, whether it's to start a business, whether it's to end or start a relationship, whether it's to change countries. So that's the first thing. Look into the future and consider the implications of your decision. The second thing is that and this is a Tony Robbins reframe hope is not a strategy. Don't do something and hope that it's going to work, because there's a reality, whether that reality is your situation, the actual, fundamental, concrete structure of the universe around you. There's a reality, so don't just hope that things are going to work.

Speaker 2 36:05

And the third bit of advice would be to remember that you can guide your life. You're definitely not alone, and I don't know what that means for every individual, but I'm slowly coming back to the fact that I'm not alone in in this, and I don't mean with you as my partner. I mean, there is an energetic resource, there's an energetic um force that, if we know how to harness it and work with it, we can use it, and that's not witchcraftry or you know anything like that. It's. It's about having intention and it's about um, guiding your mind, um, and having and having a visual, and having a mantra or a statement of of who it is that you want to become.

Speaker 1 36:57

It's a beautiful segue into the next question, which is how do you incorporate mindfulness and your belief in manifestation into your daily business practices?

Speaker 2 37:11

So I keep my journal and some days I don't do it, but that is definitely a touch point for me is to keep that journal, because sometimes things come out of my hand that I didn't really realize were in my brain. I try to meditate every morning and I've just found a new one, a lovely one. Start your Day by Joe Dispenza. What does your meditation practice look like? Oh, I'll find anything.

Speaker 1 37:36

So you listen to it your day by joe dispenser. What does your meditation?

Speaker 2 37:37

practice look like, oh, I'll find anything, I just yeah, I'll go on to spotify, and whether it's a tara brock or joe dispenser or deepak chopra or anything, there's a hundred million different choices on meditation. And so I think, starting my and because I get up early with kens, I'll come back to, I'll wake up, come back to bed and then I've got, you know, 20 or 30 minutes to meditate and I've done it every day now, and we in fact started this practice at the beginning of last year.

Speaker 1 38:01

We did. Well, there you go. I mean, there's some valuable tips here, so I'll definitely clip those pieces and get them out because they're a valuable piece of information from your lived experience. I appreciate that, so thank you for the sharing there. So what are some of the most rewarding moments you've experienced since starting Bolton Inc and the podcast?

Rewarding Moments and Future Plans

Speaker 2 38:26

So we did a lovely interview with some entrepreneurs a couple of weeks ago and I really loved that. I loved seeing those young people with those amazing young brains being able to interview people twice their age who'd been there and who'd done it, and just seeing the confidence that these young kids have. I really loved that and, of course, every time, we get positive feedback from this podcast.

Speaker 1 38:52

You know, one of the other ones was the AI Summit that we did as well.

Speaker 2 38:56

Yeah, that was interesting and, and the thing that will stay with me forever is what the principal of of the college said that kids are given a bad rep in the newspaper. Teenagers, yeah, yeah, teenagers. And actually if you spend time with teenagers, you realize that the world is in very safe hands. And I look at my child and I look at her friends and what potentially your parent or my mom would consider to be cheeky is actually them fundamentally breaking down every concept. Well, you've said that, but why? What makes that right? And isn't that what we want? We want critical thinkers because there are no entry-level jobs left when they come through, we don't even know what jobs they're going to be doing. The landscape changes completely. So what do I want for my child? I want her North Star to be so clear, I want her moral compass to be A-OK and just to be this critical thinker, you know, to be able to harness the networks that she's going to grow, the friendships that she's going to grow, the friendships that she's going to have.

Speaker 1 39:57

Yeah, I think what you say about the rewarding part, about some of the projects that we've done, is that we work very well together when we're in a documentary situation and we elicit information or storytelling through a subject matter that we are interested in or not interested in, but we can learn something about it.

Speaker 2 40:13

But you know, what Louis is fundamentally. I'm always interested in people. It doesn't matter who they are. I'm always interested in their story, always, anybody. I always want to know people's story and sometimes I find myself in a situation where I'm asking questions because I'm so curious, because I just love that connection with humanity.

Speaker 1 40:33

I want more of that as well, because I enjoy filming that and crafting that story and putting on the timeline and editing it and then coming out with something that you go. I never thought about it like that.

Speaker 2 40:42

Or if you hadn't asked that question because you weren't listening properly. You know. So if you're just asking the questions that you've got on your list of paper but you miss the little hints that there's another story there. It's the art of interviewing.

Speaker 1 40:53

It's the art of interviewing. It's the art of interviewing which, dare I say it, our lived experience has made us pretty acute in terms of asking questions and being able to listen for those subtle cues of going. Tell me more about that. That's fascinating. Where does that come from? Where, a lot of the times and this is not a complaint or a judgment, but a lot of the times when I watch people interview or I listen to interviews, I can hear where they've missed the cue.

Speaker 2 41:18

They haven't listened, and it's something that I really appreciate doing. You know, that interview that we did with the gentleman at the retirement village comes to mind. We did not know that there was that story, that we really were just asking about his experience of moving to a retirement village, but just there were little hints along the way. We created the space, though, and then so suddenly, out comes this heartbreaking story about this man who lost his partner, yep.

Speaker 2 41:47

And he was alone on the street and, yes, when everybody else had gone to work, correct, and you know, if you want to see that, it and you know.

Speaker 1 41:52

If you want to see that, it's on our website. You can have a look at it. You'll find it. It's all there. Yeah, yeah, onwards and upwards, eh, indeed.

Speaker 2 41:58

Onwards and upwards.

Speaker 1 41:59

And finally and finally, bridget what's next on your exciting journey.

Speaker 2 42:07

Finishing this book and getting the children's book yeah, those are two things that I really, really want to engage in.

Speaker 1 42:18

Yeah, those are two things that I really, really want to engage in. Have you got a date for that? Do you want to put something out there, or is it still inside and that's ok?

Speaker 2 42:26

no, I don't think it needs a date, I think it will flow. I'm not talking next year, I'm talking the next couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 42:33

I love that. Well, listen, I've known you for a lot longer year. I'm talking the next couple of weeks. I love that, well, listen, um, that's kind of like I mean, I've known you for a lot longer than you know the 10 questions I've asked you here but I appreciate you sharing and there's pearls of wisdom in there which I, as always, learn from you all the time, and I just want to thank you for your love and your, your patience with me and, uh, thank you for this love and your patience with me and thank you for this yet again and just remember to be kind to those around you and be kinder to yourself every day.

Speaker 2 43:02

And you. Thank you, lily.

Speaker 1 43:05

That's a wrap for today on the Bolton Inc Effect Podcast. The world doesn't need more noise. It needs bold voices, real stories and people willing to show up. So if something here sparked an idea, made you rethink the rules or reminded you that you're not alone on this journey, don't keep it to yourself. Share it, talk about it. Better yet, take action, because, at the end of the day, it's not about waiting for permission. It's about showing up. Up, doing the work and making something that matters. Thanks for being here now. Go build, create and keep pushing forward. We'll see you next time. Can I ask you?