The Bolton Inc Effect
Join Louis and Bridgette Bolton as they pull back the curtain on what happens when two people dare to build something remarkable - a business, a life, a legacy. Through candid conversations about, relationships, entrepreneurship, video production, and the art of building together, they're redefining what's possible when you combine creativity, strategy, and partnership in a new land.
The Bolton Inc Effect
Eps 10 Mind Your Language: How "Unemployed" Becomes "Self-Employed"
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Louis and Bridgette explore what it truly means to work for yourself as entrepreneurs, challenging the misconceptions and sharing their honest experiences about building a business together.
• The difference between being "unemployed" versus "self-employed" and how language shapes our reality
• Why building a business takes at least 18 months, not the weeks or months many expect
• The importance of having a financial runway before diving into entrepreneurship
• How entrepreneurship requires significant unlearning of corporate conditioning and structure
• The challenge of maintaining motivation and discipline when working for yourself
• Finding balance between ambition and spirituality as you grow older
• Working with your life partner - the unique challenges and unexpected rewards
• Recalibrating creativity and finding your spark again in midlife
Thank you for listening to our podcast. Please share it with someone who might benefit, leave a comment, and get in touch with us. Social media platforms are meant to be social—we want to hear from you!
www.boltoninc.co.nz
The Bolton Inc Effect. Hey there, I'm Louis and I'm Bridget. Welcome to the Bolton Inc Effect podcast, where we are navigating new horizons.
Speaker 2:Each week, we're pulling back the curtain on what it really takes to build something remarkable a business, a life and a legacy.
Speaker 1:So join us as we share honest conversations about relationship, entrepreneurship, video production and the art of building a life together in a new land.
Speaker 2:Because sometimes the biggest risks lead to the greatest rewards. How can we help? Can I ask you a question? The Bolton Inc Effect. So today, louis and I are just going to riff, we're just going to talk about some of the things that we've been thinking about over the last little while. Once again, it's about being entrepreneurs, it's about our beliefs around that. It's about our beliefs around that. It's about our beliefs around success. It's about, uh, how it is between the two of us working together, um, and it's just, I guess, a general conversation. We just shake the snow globe and see and see where it lands. Some of it may resonate, but at least you and I will get some clarity on stuff at least you know I'll get.
Speaker 1:I also just want to say thank you very much to our limited small audience and followers out there for all the love and support and the sharing that they've done on this podcast. This will be our 10th podcast. Can you believe it? Yes, and I know we haven't been as consistent as we've wanted to be. What do?
Speaker 2:you mean, we missed one we missed one, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, but I still want to say thank you very much to everyone out there that who has supported us, taken the time to actually just listen to us talk about life, love and everything else on the bolton inc effect podcast, and please share it with someone who you think might just benefit from this, and please leave a comment, get in touch with us and let us know what your thoughts are. You know we keep saying that social media platforms are supposed to be social. Exactly that, and it's great, you know, to get a like and to get an affirmation. But comment, make a comment. Let's just see if we can build some interaction in a community around here from a slightly older generation X generation about you know, as I said before, life, love and everything else. Hi Bridge, hi Louis, how are you?
Speaker 2:doing Okay how are you? Doing. I'm doing good. Thank you Without further ado, let's kick this off, because there's some stuff that I'm curious about in two places. Number one is your thoughts on what they don't tell you about working for yourself, and the other thing, which we'll get to in a little while, is working with your business partner, so I want to just deep dive into those. What did you think working for yourself would be like, and is it like that?
Speaker 1:so I think, to start off that answer, I think we have to have a few definitions here, because working for yourself what does that actually mean? Versus obviously working for someone as an employee? I think we're always working for ourselves in terms of one me particularly is is I've adopted an approach of lifelong learning. So whether I'm working for someone or for myself, I'm always constantly looking to enrich myself with information and learn a new skill or grow as a human being and I know that sounds very cliche and namby.
Speaker 2:It is one thing and I commented on this about you the other day is sometimes you're quite haphazard in terms of your creativity and in terms of your process, and I know it makes sense in your head. And where you are particularly focused is when you teach yourself a new skill and you learn something new, and I've noticed that from way back. Whatever it is, you find something, you recognize that you're interested, you deep dive, you accelerate it, you perfect it until you get to the point where there actually isn't anything more to learn, and then you get bored and then you walk away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's an interesting point you make there about that last little piece about getting bored, because I find that is something that I need to work on in terms of what we're doing with our business, and we'll get back to that because it relates to working with a partner, which we'll get back to.
Speaker 1:But to your question about you know what's working for myself like versus not this day and age where I'm at now, I find it extremely liberating and free. There's been a mind shift change or reaffirmation about the fact that it's up to me and that I need to. I don't play well with others in a corporate environment and I don't mean that in a negative sense, but I'm aware of it now, at this age, knowing that I'm much better working with you and for myself, whatever that looks like, and I've got a lot of work to do because I can procrastinate and I can be lazy and I can be bored, just like any one of us can be. So there has to be some sort of structure or some sort of strategy. For lack of a better word, I hate that word.
Speaker 2:No, I don't hate the word. But, I guess that's…. I do hate that word, because for me it sets you up for failure, but I know that it's a necessary part of working for myself, because all of us have strategy. We just don't know that. Fair enough. We have a strategy for how we get into a relationship.
Speaker 1:We have a strategy for how we get into a relationship. We have a strategy for how we enter social environments. We we have a strategy for how we work. We just don't know business context.
Speaker 2:I'd hate that word, but I understand that it's a necessary part of an evolution, because a business is like an entity, it's a personality, and so it has to have a strategy for how it appears in the world. Where you go, yeah, where where are you going? You know that, where is your compass set and that's, and and I'm not saying that that's and I think that that's sometimes where an a prehistoric view of strategy is. It's set in stone, you don't?
Speaker 1:you know diverse, because that is the path that you follow and I think that's the kind of thing that's been ingrained with me with having worked as an employee and it's, that is the strategy, and you follow that come hell or high water.
Speaker 2:So there's no flexibility flexibility.
Speaker 1:I am very much an off-the-cuff, flexible kind of personality. It doesn't mean I do haphazard work, but I will move and change as needed.
Speaker 2:I just want to pick up on two things. So, number one I hear what you say about strategy. I personally think that it's necessary. And the other thing that that you were saying is in terms of us working together and the fact that you are a little haphazard, um, and and it's not undisciplined, it's just you have your own beat that you work to. I thought it would be easier to influence you into being more of a fitting into you, into being more of a fitting into not fitting into you. Can't mold me, bridge, no, no, I cannot. But I thought that I would have more of an impact on you in terms of the structure. You have. Had an impact? No, I don't think so. Okay, so I keep putting in orders for stuff and I'm still waiting, and we're months down the line and and when I ask you, you get a bit upset and you get a bit irritated, and I don't want to ask you again Exactly so you should feel guilty.
Speaker 1:And it's those structures. I don't feel guilty. I think what I do is I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it perfect and it's still something that, to this day and age, I'm comparing myself to something.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I really wish that you wouldn't. I sometimes just want you to get on with shit. It doesn't have to be perfect. Fair enough, I hear you, thank you. I'm on the podcast in front of an audience. You've completely embraced, for example, pickleball, and you've kind of gone up in the ranks and it's been pickleball and nothing else really, and for both of us it's that, so else really, and so, and, and. For both of us it's, it's that it's. A reason that I brought that up is because we're kind of wallowing in this wonderful self freedom, sure, sure, and so we're exercising this muscle and testing that thing, and and and that's, and that's really wonderful because we've got the freedom to do it okay, so do you think we're being a little bit?
Speaker 2:do you think we're disillusioned? No, not at all. No, I know I'm not disillusioned. Sometimes I sense that you are, because I know that you're a little bit bored with your craft.
Speaker 1:Okay, we can dive into that, but I know that we're on the right path.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, we're definitely on the right path. But the only reason I know that you're bored a little bit with your craft is because I know some of the things that you've done. Sure, you know, living in the Tangkwa Desert for all of those months, working with all of the artists at Africa Burn, I mean, I know that that is the sort of being involved in those art projects, the land projects.
Speaker 1:And even the documentary that I film for Crop Bikes, the cycling documentary. Exactly, it lit up my soul.
Speaker 2:And that's where you're kind of at your best. You've got your camera on your back. You're very clear about what it is that needs to be done. There is definitely a structure in your head, and you're really good with directing people around that, which makes you incredibly good at what you do, and you're really good with directing people around that which makes you, you know, incredibly good at what you do.
Speaker 1:And you're an extremely good producer.
Speaker 2:I didn't say that because I wanted a compliment back.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, but I mean just, you know you bring it back to working together or working for ourself. I mean I could do it by myself, but I choose not to, because we're on this path together and it's much better to be in a partnership, because you take care of stuff that others don't really give a shit about and I take care of stuff that you don't really particularly know or give a shit about either.
Speaker 2:We have our strengths. But I guess that brings us back to the question is this what working for yourself? Is this what you thought it would look like? And I want to ask you something here Are you still, in your head, a freelancer or are you building a business?
Speaker 1:I think I'm still in that mindset of a freelancer. Okay, I think I understand the concept of a business, of building a business, but I'm more aware of what I don't want versus what I do want. So I've gone down the road of freelancing because that's my Easy. That groove has been greased so many times, for lack of a better saying. But I understand the concepts of building a business, but I don't want to build this into some big agency. I don't want to scale up. I don't want millions of editors and directors. I'm quite happy to work to a capacity where you and I feel comfortable, the money is coming in, the bills of the bills are being paid and the freedom is there for us to say hey, should we go to croatia later on this year, or there's a documentary that needs to be filmed in tasmania, or whatever the case is, so that freedom of choice opens up rather than being restricted into an employee role.
Speaker 2:For for me, so so, so are we building a business and a legacy, or are we just building something that we want to use to pay the bills for the next five years?
Speaker 1:No, I think we do need to. You and I work on different timelines. You get to things much quicker than I do. You always have. It takes me a lot longer to get on board, not to say that I'm bad at it. You know what I'm. Oh, I know what you mean. You know what I mean. Oh, yes, I mean, you're there and I'm, like you know, I'm still faffing. Not, it's not faffing, it's just a different time. Yeah, yeah, sure, it's just a different timeline. So can we put a pin in it and come back to this? Um, upstairs at our desk, upstairs at our desk. Okay, we do need to build a business. Yes, yeah, yes, yes, how, let me quickly. I mean, we've got a lot to get through, but how has it panned out for you in terms of what it looks like working for yourself? I?
Speaker 2:I had a really interesting experience this morning when I went to see um our chiropractor, ali mcmaster, who is a tiny little stick of dynamite that blows up at moments where you just don't necessarily perhaps unprepared.
Speaker 2:But she really lay a bit of a truth on me this morning Because I'm feeling physically really in a lot of pain at the moment.
Speaker 2:My back is really sore, my neck is really sore and it's starting to impact everything, and I know that there's a reason for it, because you don't just sprout pain for no reason. And so I was having this conversation with her and I was just saying I wonder if it's because I'm feeling a little bit, maybe, unsupported in the world, or because I'm unemployed, or because I'm starting the business and we have to move, and so the ground is really shifting underneath my feet. And she made me aware that every time I speak to her, I refer to myself as being unemployed, and she's like you're not, you're self-employed, you are running a business. What makes you think that it's okay to use that term? And she's absolutely right, it's not, we are self-employed. And when I say that it's a much more empowering thing than being unemployed, which feels like you're letting the air out of the tires it's something that we have become very conscious of in our daily life is the words that we use 100 language.
Speaker 2:Language matters so much that you use in your head and with each other.
Speaker 1:So you have this lovely, this lovely saying that you say often that I've heard you talk to other people about that. If the voice in your head was a real life person next to you, you put them in a sanitarium no, they need to be committed.
Speaker 1:They would be committed because yeah, because one, one minute they're on your side, and the next minute they're your worst enemy yeah, crazy, so yes, language does matter, and it's something that we have worked really hard on and we need to recommit to about the language you use, because they it holds energy and it holds power, yeah, so thank you for that reframe, ali, and for yourself have you had a bit of a what the fuck moment in a good or a bad way in the last?
Speaker 2:we've been doing this for 4-5 months now. Have you had a big moment?
Speaker 1:and one of them has been just the reality that, and one of them has been just the reality that it's about a value thing, it's about how to show up in the world but, more importantly, how to follow through. Something that I read earlier during the week was about you know, when you're an employee, the work is there and you have to get it done.
Speaker 2:Because you've got KPRs and you've got targets that need to. I'm sorry. You've got things that you need to achieve.
Speaker 1:You've got stuff that needs to be done and your time, if I'm being honest, is not your own.
Speaker 2:No, of course it's not.
Speaker 1:Where I think now the what the fuck moment has been like. The time is my own, but it's up to me to actually put a firecracker up my ass and get shit done. So that takes discipline and it's recalibrating how and what that looks like. Um, and I sometimes do it with long teeth and you, you know we have short little catch-up sessions beginning end of the week, but I know how important they are from from your side, saying what have you done, what are the wins, what are we going to do? Um, and I really appreciate that oh, good my face and my body might say
Speaker 1:very different, but I really appreciate it because it does allow me to go right. You value me and you value me my time in this business as as I use. So that's let's move forward. The other, what the moment has been the reality of just how long things take to happen. Um, I think both, and I don't know if you've experienced this. What we've experienced it together is like and it might be a little bit of like bright out and bushy naivety that we thought we'd get a lot more work a lot quicker, but in the situation or the location that we're in, we've realized that it's more about the relationships that we are building versus just the constant, the amount of emails or the amount of outreach that you do, versus that coming back at you. So those relationships and the networking and the build and the finding out who we need to talk to and where we can add value is probably one of the biggest WTF moments. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I had a lovely turning point on Friday when I met with a business mentor who I have an enormous amount of respect for, and he just said to me Girl Like yo, what are you thinking Like after you've been in the business for five months business mentor, who I have an enormous amount of respect for. And he just said to me, girl like yeah, what are you thinking like after, after you've been in the business for for five months? Um, and a month of that really was taken out because Ken's had, um, uh, medical issue. Yeah, exactly, um, and and so the amount of focus time that we've had on the business. In my mind it feels like it's been so much that we should be reaping all of these massive rewards and benefits and clients. But it takes 18 months at the very least to grow a business. And you know why? For me, it's because I've got to unlearn years and years of being in a structured environment. Yeah, I get that, and you're still unlearning?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get that. And you're still unlearning. Yes, very much so. So it's the unlearning and it's the relearning, and it's the what pattern do I follow? Where does my energy sit? So it's gauging all of that.
Speaker 1:That's an interesting point you make in terms of because I've freelanced a lot longer than you have yeah, just the nature of the beast for the line of work that I mean, where you have been in that sort of corporate world, corporate structure. Yes, very much so. So then, that leads me to ask you a few questions about the what the fuck moments, in terms of what about the isolation, or the money, or the motivation or recalibrating of who you, how do you feel about those?
Speaker 2:I don't feel. I don't feel isolated. Um, however, I do realize that, uh, you and I do need to be with people more, because we're our own little echo chamber, and I don't think that that's healthy, and so that is something that I definitely have to make more of an effort in be out with people, fair enough, um, just shooting the breeze, talking about business, figuring out strategies, listening to what people say, being curious about them. The financial thing I've realized that, as the bank account, as the dollars, have diminished, the fear has increased, and so that's something that I have to work very diligently on. What advice would you give someone starting out and obviously not the polished version, but if, I mean if, if you're speaking to somebody I would say do it.
Speaker 1:If you've got something that you're passionate in and it fills your soul with joy and it ignites you, then do it realistically. That's not always possible, possible In the economic climate that we're in and it's very specific to your situation. I'm not the greatest expert to say to go for it or not, but I think you need to really understand where your strengths are and what you want to do.
Speaker 2:And be realistic about timelines.
Speaker 1:That's probably been the biggest thing. It's like it's going to take longer than you anticipate Exactly, and any startup founder, anybody that we have spoken to, said it takes a lot longer than you think so why did we think it would happen so quickly?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I think because I'm just eternally optimistic?
Speaker 1:Yeah, both of us are. We are big optimists. Yeah, we want to see the best and the good and anything. We can just do this, and I think when, when that doesn't happen as quickly it can, it can sucker, punch you and put you down in a bit of a downward spiral but how do you know it's not happening?
Speaker 2:what has told us that this business is not happening? We all the signs are completely to the opposite, but I'll rephrase that question.
Speaker 1:It's like when do we know when to stop? When do we know when to stop what business?
Speaker 2:so what would that look like? Yeah, I don't have an answer. I think we both talk about it intellectually, because AI will take both our jobs, part of our jobs. Yeah, other than long form documentary content is much easier to be done, but they can't replicate you, bridget, and they can't replicate me. Well apparently they can. I agree with you. I agree with you. And marketing processes can be automated. You don't?
Speaker 1:know what it's going to look like? No, exactly, you're not aware of it.
Speaker 2:So that's a really good question. So what happens next? So, once agentic AI comes in and it starts to anticipate, and it starts to execute, what then, what then?
Speaker 1:Do you become a plumber? Yeah, then do you become a plumber? Yeah, I don't fancy it. Hey, well, you're not with your sense of smell exactly, but yeah, I mean, these questions suddenly have to get asked in terms of what is it? What does it look like? You know, five, ten years down the line, I don't even think it's ten years in terms of where we're at age-wise. Yeah, and in our career, this is all I know how to do. Yeah is film this is all I know it's, it's.
Speaker 1:I have never learned another skill, that's on me obviously.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, I think you're wrong. I think you've learned multiple skills. I think that if you had to jot your skills down, I think you'd be very surprised. You can edit on multiple platforms. You can use multiple cameras.
Speaker 1:Yes, but I can't be a gardener, I can't go and be a plumber, I can't go and be a mechanic, I can't be yeah, but that's because you're not interested.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but what you are interested in is what else you can do with a camera yeah, it's an interesting question to ask both ourselves of.
Speaker 1:What would the end point be of going, okay, cool, we're going to need to, you know, move on I don't think it's going to come at an end point.
Speaker 2:I think progressively we're working towards that. We're both looking at alternative side hustles and looking what sort of a, a digital trade we can learn. Yeah, and that's kind of where potentially the biggest growth will are, because, yeah, I'm, I'm not going to learn to do something like plumbing or or whatever I I don't have a passion for baking absolutely, or sewing or anything like that. But you have so many skills.
Speaker 1:It's unbelievable. I know I'm so skilled, I know you're so skilled, so what advice would you give someone starting out?
Speaker 2:then, bridget, and it's quite a big question, that it's a very big question. Number one you know I don't like to give advice, so the only thing I would say is that have a look at what your finances are like, because that can make or break your own um sense of confidence. And so you're saying have a runway, have a runway, but also be, be, be. Yes, have a runway. And how long would that runway? Well, that really depends. Do you live at home with your parents? Are you 55 and is your? Is your mortgage paid off? Do you dependents? Are you still putting?
Speaker 1:kids through it's very individualized.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I always come back to what Tony Robbins says Don't look at a situation and just hope that it's going to be great. So be realistic. These are the things that have to be covered, these are the non-negotiables. And that gives me this much time, because I've got this much in my purse, my bank, whatever, okay, um, the other thing is, do some research like what are people asking for? Just because you love it doesn't mean everybody else loves it, and maybe start it up as a side hustle and you can test it out. Maybe what I want to ask you is how do ambition and spiritual presence coexist in in in your mind?
Speaker 1:that's a fascinating question, because that ambition part I find my ambition lacking at the moment. Like I'm still ambitious to live life and learn, you know, but that's very generic, so your ambition is lacking. Like when I think the word ambition, I'm like it feels like a dirty word to you, and is that a generational thing?
Speaker 1:I don't it's. It's a great question. I'm just letting the librarian, you know, in my mind go. You know, what am I ambitious about? I mean like I'm more focused towards if I'm honest with with you and the audience and myself. It's like I just want to be healthy. I really want to look after myself because there's still a lot that I want to achieve. I can't articulate necessarily what there is, but I've got documentaries in me that need to be made. I want to be a financial success for myself and for my family. I know I want to get to a point where I'm no longer worried about finances at all, so that, alongside what you questioned about, you said Ambition and success, and success, not spirituality, sorry, I think I.
Speaker 2:Sorry, you know, does ambition mean you can't be spiritual? Absolutely not. Can they coexist?
Speaker 1:Absolutely coexist. Absolutely coexist because I think I reflect a lot more these days the older I get. Yeah, I'm still young. Yeah, I reflect a lot more these days the older I get. I'm still young, but that spirituality part is definitely something that I am leaning into because I know that I have to make every moment count and be here now.
Speaker 2:So that maybe also speaks to a space that we're in in our lives.
Speaker 1:Very much so. I mean, I'm not a 20-year-old, I've never been.
Speaker 2:I've never been more acutely aware of that than I have, as I'm now starting to, to get into a different stretch of my life.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're definitely on the same page about that, like 20s were where you really put yourself on the line.
Speaker 2:20s and 30s, absolutely really put yourself on the line, the 20s and 30s, absolutely, and in the 30s, yeah, you were gaining as much experience. You were hustling, you were climbing that corporate ladder, you were.
Speaker 1:You were in the agency, exactly, you were doing it. You were out every day. You were client-based, 100%.
Speaker 2:You were working.
Speaker 1:You gave everything. I was hustling, I was traveling Africa. I didn't have time for spirituality, but it didn't come into my reality, no.
Speaker 2:so as the wheel turns for us, it definitely feels like it has more of a space and place in my life. I yearn to meditate now. I really look for those moments where I can lie quietly and just focus on my breath.
Speaker 1:But what about that yearning for?
Speaker 2:What does it give you? So my intention whenever I meditate is that I just want to be present. I just want to feel a presence, I want to feel what that connection is, and I still don't think I have that. Why didn't you do that in your?
Speaker 1:20s and 30s. It wasn't what drove me, okay, yeah, so it's a very fascinating thing.
Speaker 2:It's definitely an age thing.
Speaker 1:an age thing, yeah okay, um, the the fact that that we have the space and the opportunity to do that, I think, and it's perfectly natural to be able to be in that space and right now to yearn for that because right now, where we're filming this, it's winter in new zealand and I know that it is a time, if you look at the laws of nature. It's a time to hibernate, it's a time for introspection, for really quietening down. Um, you know, nothing is growing. No, exactly.
Speaker 1:So that space opens up for you to be here now and have that spiritual practice yeah, and observe yourself and observe, and learn and and create, yeah, just a little bit of space for you to be able to breathe, for other stuff to come in, exactly, yeah, okay. So when do you? When do you feel most present in your work, I mean, which is the opposite to when you feel most?
Speaker 2:frantic. So when I feel most present and when I absolutely love it is when I'm sitting at my computer and I'm just like creating shit. I'm playing with Canva, which is a new tool for me, and I'm finding what Canva can and can't do, and I'm refining prompts to get perfect imagery and I'm writing. And that's when I really feel like I'm in the flow. I just love sitting there doing that, doing a bit of research, and coming back and putting stuff together. I love that.
Speaker 1:So when does that topple over, or does it topple over into being frantic?
Speaker 2:I feel a bit frantic when I am with people too much. Okay, yeah, that leaves me I don't know if frantic is the word. It leaves me feeling a bit fractured. Fractured, yeah, a bit splintered, like I feel sometimes, like I leave a little part of me wherever I go, and that's you know You're talking about.
Speaker 2:Like in a situation where you go to a networking situation, like go to networking, and then from there then I've got this, and then from there then I've got that, and then the next thing, you know, I come home and it's, you know, after four and I haven't done any of my follow-up stuff and, and that late leaves me feeling a bit like oh flip, but that's because I'm in my mind, I still have an old program running about you must get as much done from eight to five as you can, because you must rest hard, because tomorrow is going to be another full day, okay, you know. So try not to let work spill over into the night time.
Speaker 1:Can I give you some feedback now? You have done a lot of work to unlearn some deep seated patterns, yes, and I think you're doing a bloody marvellous job in managing that and giving yourself the time and the respect that you need to go. It doesn't have to happen now. It can carry over.
Speaker 2:I'm learning that um, I don't like it, but I don't like that just as an aside.
Speaker 1:You know you were, um, you were ill a couple of weeks ago and you're hardly ever ill, but I noticed how hard you were on yourself and I had to mention to you hey, rest now, which is not something that you take on easily because of what you've just mentioned. Now that you have that ingrained structure of you know eight to five work and we're like, let's just call it, call it that. So that comes back to that working for yourself, where the freedom of going work with the energy that you've got, it's vital, because it's pointless doing work when you're not feeling well or you just don't have, you know, the time to do it. And Jocko Willink will disagree with me here because he'll say you don't feel like doing it, do it anyway.
Speaker 2:I think there's a difference between not feeling like doing it and not being well enough to do it, and that has come up for me now, which comes back to discipline. So I mentioned I met with a business mentor on Friday and he's very clear about it have clear goals. So call three people. It was a great reminder, wasn't it? Come hell or high water and that goes back to Jocko Willink Do what you say you're going to do. It's different. If you're sick, yeah, but don't bullshit yourself and go. I don't know if I'm feeling the right energy today. Yeah, that's crap, that's actual rubbish. Just get on with it. And that's where I get frustrated.
Speaker 1:I really enjoy this journey with you because we've learned so much. If you think about where we've come from in January and we're in July already you know and we've got a lot to do. We're only in July actually.
Speaker 2:Only in July. Okay, nice reframe yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, so let's move on then. How do we check in with with each other? Like to slow down or when things feel rushed?
Speaker 2:I think when we take Bugs for a walk, that's our time.
Speaker 1:To our audience out there. You can't see her. Bugs is our golden achiever.
Speaker 2:Who's in the studio, lying on the floor, passed out, sleeping. But as long as she's with us, walking with Juno gives us both space to either talk or not talk, or get excited or just stare at the water coming in and going out to the estuary. Look at the mountains.
Speaker 1:I really appreciate those walks, purely because I've stopped listening to podcasts and putting stuff in my ear as a literal break, yeah, and just being trying to be more present. Present, yeah, okay. Have you found a way to balance the drive with stillness, or is it always kind of a dance with you?
Speaker 2:Have I found a way to balance the drive with stillness, or is it always kind of a dance with you? Have I found a way to balance the drive for?
Speaker 1:stillness. So what's working? What still challenges you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm definitely on a bit of a journey that I don't quite know how to quantify or qualify, but what works for me is the quiet moments and just constantly searching for that presence and feeling into some of the theoretical stuff about this quantum space that we operate in. I try to I think mistakenly, but I still try to find myself trying to do it is to get a visual of what that looks like. You know, like Joe Dispenza often says in his meditations, imagine the space like between your ears, imagine the space outside of your ears, imagine further, further and further, all the way up. So I imagine like the stars up there. So it's dark, so it's like the quantum realm, this, you know, this big dark space, these questions Exactly. Or is it this golden vibrating sea of, like this creamy vibrating sea with threads of gold in it? I know that sounds very silly and that's out there, but that's where I'm at at the moment. I'm trying to quantify that for myself. I'm so clear about energy and that's.
Speaker 1:Does it need to be quantified?
Speaker 2:No, it probably doesn't.
Speaker 1:Is it your way of trying to make sense of the world?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's just one of those things in my character. If I can see it and understand it, then I can either dismiss it or go with it.
Speaker 1:So here's a test for you or here's an ask. Don't try it, just let it be so. Don't quantify it, don't let it have to be fit into a certain note in your box and just see what happens For both of us.
Speaker 2:I love that. Yeah, it goes against my instinct.
Speaker 1:It does. I know that because I can see how you're moving.
Speaker 2:I just want to understand, because I always say to you if I can understand it, then I can make sense of it. Sure, but maybe you don't have to make sense. No, and you can't make sense of God, if that is the energy or whatever it is, you can't make sense of that, it's just there.
Speaker 1:That's an interesting rabbit hole. We went down.
Speaker 2:Well, you did ask me what I was struggling with, didn't you?
Speaker 1:I did, and I appreciate that answer Take care when you ask that, that's got me thinking, okay, so things that you've unlearned, I'm still unlearning.
Speaker 2:So what's one belief about success?
Speaker 1:that you've had to unlearn. What is one belief about success and you mentioned it earlier, earlier maybe it's busy means important, yeah busy means important.
Speaker 2:No, busy comes from a job. Or busy means achieving.
Speaker 1:Yeah, busy equals success, success right yeah, which is not the case anymore. No, yeah, I love that. Okay. So what's something about money that you've completely rethought?
Speaker 2:I think that not. I think I know that there is a lot of it around, I know that it doesn't have to play, so so. So here's what I've started to do, and and somebody mentioned it the other day and said am I having a seek week? And she said anybody who starts a business does that. So seek is the job, the, the, the job board, um, for australia, new zealand, and a seek week is when you're having such a shit week you've had no response from anybody, and SEEK is the job board for Australia and New Zealand, and a SEEK week is when you're having such a shit week you've had no response from anybody. And suddenly you think this is it I'm going to have to go and find a job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a nice week for you. Yeah, exactly. So I applied for like three jobs, but like why? I've said to you so many times I don't want to do that? Last five, six months have been the best here. They've just been amazing. I've loved being my own rhythm in my own flow you're just stepping into your stride exactly.
Speaker 1:I can see it. Why would I want?
Speaker 1:to yeah, absolutely. I do feel that that is a separate podcast by itself in terms of the whole money aspect, because the system that we're in says that you have to work in order to earn money. You've got to pay for your rent, you've got to pay for the petrol in your car, so let's not get too bogged down in that. A couple of more what have you learned or what have you unlearned about age or midlife? So I know that in your 50s you feel more powerful and you want more contemplative time. Anything else that you've unlearned about your age or your midlife.
Speaker 2:no, I'm learning constantly. I'm learning about um midlife because midlife means I'm learning constantly. I'm learning about midlife because midlife means menopause, and I'm constantly learning about that, which has been interesting, but you?
Speaker 1:still have a very serious mind. Oh, a hundred percent. I've said this before to you and to Miss 14. Is that you know?
Speaker 2:I look at myself in the mirror and, yes, I see a middle-aged man, but if you saw through my eyes, I'm still that 28 year old, that 30 year old with dreams aspirations, goals, drive to do stuff, and I know you feel the same 100% it happens when I get out of the shower and I see my face in the mirror like if I've had like a nice face scrub and a hair, and I get out and I'm like shit, I look exactly the same as I did when I walked into the shower. I'm like what did I think was going to happen? It's not the fountain of youth in there.
Speaker 1:But you still feel like that 30-year-old, that young, vibrant self that you want to do something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, keep that.
Speaker 1:Okay, your question.
Speaker 2:And this is around creativity. Your question, and this is around creativity how do you feel you've settled into your creative?
Speaker 1:seat? And where are you with being a creative? Look, first of all, this word about creative or creativity is a little bit of a misnomer. Everybody is creative. Everybody is born with creativity, everyone. I don't care if you're an actuary or a DOP or an artist. Well, I've never considered myself creative, but you were born into this universe, into this earth school, as someone that can create. You create constantly with your thoughts. Your thoughts are creative. Your child is creative. The stuff that you're learning on Canva is creative.
Speaker 1:I don't think it's a separate. I don't think we can separate ourselves as being creative or non-creative. You are creative. The vocation you choose lends itself to those different outputs. So I do see myself as someone who's settled into a role that I no longer feel like I fulfill in terms of doing corporate work. I'm very good at it and it becomes quite easy for me to be able to tell a story and to find the visuals to put together for a client. That's not diminishing the work, but there are. It's a recalibration. It's a recalibration of where I'm at and where I want to go and what I still want to do, and that's where I think I've lost a little bit of my mojo. I haven't quite had this spark or something that ignites me to the extent of like I really have to do this. I really want to do this, I can think about it intellectually, but I haven't necessarily followed through. And so why haven't you followed through? Because the opportunities.
Speaker 2:I haven't made the opportunities arise. Why haven't?
Speaker 1:necessarily followed through, um, and so why haven't you followed through? Because the opportunities, I haven't made the opportunities arise. Why haven't you? I don't know, it was too hard, is it okay?
Speaker 2:maybe I don't, because you, you know you've talked about having a creative project for so many years and when you talk about it I'm always really excited because I think maybe this time yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, I I want it to happen, you know, and it's up to me. I know that.
Speaker 2:But I think it's also potentially doing it constantly on your own, Because when you've got a team of people that you're working with like I think about the team that you worked with on the documentary for Africa Burn- yeah, different, yeah, and it's every day, and it's collaboration, and it's chatting and ideas Exactly Everything.
Speaker 2:But also at the beginning you were pulled in and there was access to the funding and you know, there was that whole journey that you went on, and so I suppose that speaks to having a network there and needing to build a network here, which I know you do. I know that you try to do.
Speaker 1:Work in progress yeah, work in progress, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Louis, one last thing about working with your life partner. Yes, what's the best thing about building something together? I get to spend more time with you.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's interesting that's the first thing that came, you know, from me. I mean I love working with you. I mean I remember when you were working in corporates and you know I was in between jobs and I did have work and I was freelancing, but I missed you, you know, and I and I know you missed, missed us as well, and I think that's the biggest thing is the look. I'm not saying it's always hunky-dory, let's not beat around the bush. I mean there's some, you know, there's some interesting times between you and me. Interesting is the wrong word. There's some volatile times, but I think the length of time that we've known each other for the last 26, 25, 26 years, you, we, we, we forgive very quickly. We dance together. Yeah, yeah, okay, and when you're up I'm down, you bring me up, when I'm up you're down, yeah, exactly we bring each other.
Speaker 2:That's the power of partnership I do irritate you.
Speaker 1:You do irritate, do I? You do love me and I love. What do I do that irritates you. Well, let me list the ways. Oh, my god.
Speaker 1:So I think I think I'm very fortunate to have found someone in you that I can work with. Yeah, that I trust, that I appreciate. That motivates me, that's confident. And I'm clever, and you're clever, you're very, very, very clever. But, to be fair, the partnership partnership has. We work very hard on it, and that hard work makes me want to work more towards us being a stronger unit, because you make me want to be a better person. Oh, that's good. And, and I know the same as, yeah, it's reciprocated. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So thanks for those questions. It's it's made me realize a lot more about our working relationships and our and our business, and that's what I value about these podcasts is sometimes, when we're working together up in the office and we're doing stuff, we forget to actually have a moment to actually just talk to each other and find out what's working, what's not working. And these conversations often one deep in the relationship, deep in the friendship, but that was to crystallize, um, where we are and where we go. I hope it's the same for you 100. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Well, thank you for your time thank you for your time.
Speaker 2:That's it. Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 1:the Bolton Inc Effect. That's a wrap for today on the Bolton Inc Effect podcast. The world doesn't need more noise. It needs bold voices, real stories and people willing to show up. So if something here sparked an idea, made you rethink the rules or reminded you that you're not alone on this journey, don't keep it to yourself. Share it, talk about it. Better yet, take action, because, at the end of the day, it's not about waiting for permission. It's about showing up, doing the work and making something that matters. Thanks for being here. Now go build, create and keep pushing forward. We.
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