OPP : Other People's P....

The Support Paradox: Why They’re Not Clapping & How to Own Your Journey

If you’re still scrolling through life waiting for validation, you’re already playing yourself. Real Ones know support is earned, not given.

This episode of AIO cuts through the noise with unapologetic honesty about the jealousy, insecurities, and gatekeeping that sabotage growth. From real talk on supporting your own dreams to exposing the illusions of success painted by social media — this is your wake-up call.

Arya and the crew unpack the savage truth: support isn’t a handout; it’s a reflection of your boundaries, self-worth, and main character energy.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• [00:00] The Validation Trap: Why waiting for a "congratulations" from people secretly competing with you is a losing game.
• [12:15] Exposing Gatekeepers: How to spot the people guarding "secrets" and why you don't need their permission to win.
• [25:40] The Social Media Mirror: Ditching the envy caused by curated masks and reclaiming your authentic energy.
• [38:20] Rising Together: How to protect your peace and lift others without losing yourself in the process.

Key Takeaways for Your Journey:

1. Ownership: Your journey is yours alone. If you value authenticity over validation, you’ve already won.
2. Boundaries: Support is a mirror of how you treat yourself. Set the standard high.
3. Action: The plays for your personal growth are loud and clear—it’s time to start making them.

Join the Conversation:

Question of the Day: What’s one lie you've believed about support or success that you’re ready to leave behind? Drop your truth in the comments on our social channels or email us directly!

Connect with the Crew:

• Podcast: AIO (Real & Authentic)
• Instagram: @aiorealauthentic
• YouTube: @aiorealandauthentic

Tags: #selfhelp #community #growth #mindset #motivation #success #AIOPodcast #RealAndAuthentic #MainCharacterEnergy #boundaries #innerwork #podcast #mentalhealth #authenticity

Transcript

– The Validation Trap Why waiting for "congratulations" from the wrong people is a slow death for your progress.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Right. Welcome to All in One, ladies and gentlemen. This is the podcast where we keep it real, we keep it authentic. Tonight we're gonna jump into the topic. We're talking about other people's property, but not in the sense in what you think it is. What are we talking about? Just gonna have to come in and find out. So let's get to it. Arya. Talk to me, talk to me. You down with old people?

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Yeah, you know me. So, you know, looking at others' lives and their, you know, their situations, their relationships, their opportunities that they might have, you know, and you look at it and you're like, I don't know how this happened, but like, is someone not seeing me right now? Is someone not seeing me? It's funny because what really got me um thinking about this is just some personal things that's been going on in my life. I've just had um a very long, strenuous year. This year I have been making some hardcore changes and moves when it comes to like relationships, who I'm keeping in my life, who I'm not keeping in my life, when it comes to like my home, my car, my, you know, the personal items that I have, my animals, career choices, just so many things. And I've just come to realize that like I'm almost 40, and yet the opportunities that I have worked so hard to have, you know, same to hard to get, like hard to actually grasp and keep on, uh keep hold on to. Um, I do sometimes wonder how others get to where they are. Now, I'm the type of person who, if you ask me how I've gotten something, how I learned something, if you see something that I have and you're like, oh, how'd you get that? I'm gonna just let you know what I did or how I did. It's no secret to me. But for some reason, it feels like sometimes it's a secret to others. You know, it's like I'm going to hold on to all this information. It's like, why are you holding on to all this information? How does it benefit you to hold on to information that you can use to help someone else? Like, what do you what do you gain from this? Like, what is your uh view in that? And to me, it's almost it makes me almost feel like in a sense that maybe they are envious or jealous or maybe even insecure to where they want, they want to hold all of this to themselves and feel like, man, if I give this information to you, you're probably gonna excel way higher than me or faster than me or gain more than me that I than I have, you know. Like I was asking someone about how they got into this job of like seeming to find all these new, what do you call them? Like starter companies or whatever. And and like a lot of starter companies, they initially have a lot of money, you know, and so they pay fairly well. You do have to deal with a lot of BS, you know, obviously, but they pay very well. And like you may end up with something that you actually like, or maybe you can help that company build, and you know, you just never know um when it comes to startup companies, but like for some reason, like they didn't want to like divulge that information. And I was just like, Oh, what are you well I check um I checked, you know, um online.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Well, the as generic as generic can get.

– Support is Earned, Not Given The savage truth about why your circle doesn't owe you a "like" and how to build real authority.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

As generic can get, like, you know, and then it's like, okay, but where specific? It took them a um, I'm when I say it took them a while to actually really say, Oh, I looked here and here, it took a long while. That time it was like, okay, information is no longer valid to me. Like, I don't need it anymore. Like, it's just like when I was needing it, it wasn't there. And um, I don't know, I just find myself like seeing that the same respect or like things that I give, everybody else doesn't give. And I I keep telling myself, and I say this, I've said this on many podcasts too. I don't know how long I'm gonna get it like really stuck in my head. It's gonna take me a while. I'm still working on it, but I know that everybody is not gonna think like me. And I know that everybody's not gonna be kind like me, and I know be helpful like me. And so I have to stop trying to like put myself out there or have these unrealistic expectations of people, you know. Um, it's it's it's funny because I have my kids watching these documentaries right now. They're watching two different ones. One is about uh reefs, and then the other one um is a documentary about plastics in the ocean. And I'm literally watching these documentaries with them. I've seen the documentaries already, but for you know, every year I want them to watch it because they're not very uh their parents aren't really like getting them um involved in understanding how our world works and what's actually happening, you know. And I'm watching it and I'm just like, oh, I'm walling. And they're like, Miss R, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? And I'm like, this is so sad. Like there was a scene where um they were talking about um shark um shark fins, and they were they had like the you know, recorders or whatever on these people and they're uh harvesting fins. And literally, and I'm just like I couldn't help myself. Like it was just so sad. I just like couldn't believe like how fast it was. Like it was like, here's a shark, pull it on the boat, cut the fin off real quick, and then toss it back in the ocean. Like, like it was nothing. Like they they obviously have been doing it so long, and here now the shark is suffering in the ocean because its fin just got cut off. And it you know, it's just like if somebody grabbed you off the street real quick and just like cut off your arm, you'd be like, you'd be outside of yourself, you know. It's it's so sad. And I was just like, I told I was trying to explain to them, I was like, you know, I was like, I'm a very sensitive individual. I'm especially sensitive to things when it comes to like others and like animals and our planet, you know, and things of that nature. I'm super sensitive when it comes to stuff like that. And it just was another reminder, like everyone is not gonna think or feel the way that I do. Because they were just like, okay. I'm like, that doesn't bother you that like, you know, corals, we literally have lost all the corals in the world almost. And like I was just like, okay, you guys are kids, you guys don't know any better. But there are so many adults out there that don't. So I'm just saying, this those kind of things make me feel like, okay, well, you're not gonna be, you're not gonna be empathetic, you're not gonna be understanding. So then if that's not it, then what's the other thing that's causing you to not want to do better or help, quote unquote, or support or whatever. And the only other thing I can think of is like jealousy, envy, insecurities. Like I can't think of what?

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Greed. Greed would be all of the seven deadly sins, you know. Glut gluttony, all of that.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

So I'm sorry, go ahead. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

No, yeah. I was just I was just trying to think of all of the all the different things. Either way it goes, you know, it it's not for you. Like, I don't know what how do you wrap all of that into one? I guess you could just say seven daily sins. Could just do it that way to wrap it all up into one. It just makes me feel like um not valid, which I guess is another reason why I tend to, for the most part, now I didn't use it before, but now I start doing things under the radar. And it's funny because like three years ago, I think it was probably like three years ago, um girlfriend of mine was like, people won't support you when they know it's you. And when she said that, I thought it was kind of crazy, you know, outlandish or whatever. But like now I'm thinking, like, wow, she was right. She was so right. Because I don't know how many times I've spoken to different people, you know, about even just my website. I was like, oh, you know, I have this, I started this website, I started doing these designs, I have my art, I have X, Y, and Z. And like, I haven't had even my closest friends ask me to commission a painting for them. But yet they will go to I don't know, Target, Walmart, Ross, whatever, uh, and just buy buy art. And it's like, you know, that same thing you have on a wall. No, I can do that, right? Like you you know I can paint that, right? They'll have someone come in their house and do a mural, you know, something simple. I of course I can't do a whole lot. I mean I could, but I'm gonna say I don't want to do a whole lot. Um, but still, it's like, you know, certain things is like you know I can do that, but you would rather call someone else up to do that and pay them than to pay me.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

For what reason? Like why you do black art? Can you do black art? I have to look that one up.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Yeah. If you can do black art, let's talk. Real talk. And then you should look at the prices of them as well. They sell pretty good. So black art or it's like, you know, it's like the black l black love stuff, the black family stuff, the whole some of this, yes, some of it.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

Um, like, let me see.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Like, like the couple that's kissing the Bible. They got the Bible in between them and they get faces on each side, and each one of them are kissing towards the Bible type stuff. You know, that whole I got you on my back, I'm climbing this mountain, we all going up this mountain together. Yep. Those type photos, that type of work, artwork. That's a niche that's gonna get you exactly where you wanna be.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

I don't even know if you can see it clear.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Yeah, with the blue, yeah, I see ya. Not if you drop the phone.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

I know.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

You gonna eat your cone bread. Yeah, I see. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

But yeah, that's one of never my girls that I drew. I was glad I at least took a picture of it. I lost her, but you know, it was just cool to have a pic image of it. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

OP.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah, nobody, none of my friends have asked me for anything or supported me. And I I was just like, I don't know, I was just like thinking about it and like feeling some type of way about it. Kind of what made me think of that.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

I mean, it kind of ties all into what we're talking about here when we're talking about OPP, we're talking about other people's properties, other people's possessions. Sometimes you have something that's in you that people want. You know, it's not necessarily something that you have or something that you possess. Well, I guess it is a possession, it's in you. You know, like I wish I could do this like you, or I wish I can do that like you, or I wish I was as smart as you. It could be so many different things, you know. Yeah, people tend to always look around and compare themselves. Why do we compare ourselves? Where did that all start from? You know, and it's always almost like it's like you want attention. It's almost like it goes all the way back to childhood to or to a point where you are always competing for something. You're always competing for attention, you're always competing for the last, whatever it might be, especially if you had a big family, whatever it might have been at the table, you know what I'm saying? Whoever gets it first is the person that gets it, right? But then at the same time, it's like, why do we compete? Why do we compare to ourselves? Because this leads to us wanting other people's possessions. And it's like do we compare? Does everyone compare? Yeah, one day I'm gonna get me one of those. One day I'm gonna do that. You know what I'm saying? It's like if it's a goal that you really intend on doing, and I can understand it if you're setting it as a goal for yourself, right? But don't let it be the driving factor so that you can do something before someone else or have more than this person because you've made it a competition. You in competition with somebody that they may not even know yet you were in competition with them.

– Exposing the Gatekeepers How to spot the people guarding "secrets" and the play to bypass them entirely.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

Right. Yeah, my sister just did uh just um recently, not long ago. Um recently not long ago. She um she told me that she started writing this book and she was explaining the book to my mom. Because remember, I said a lot of things I'm starting to do under the radar or whatever. Told my mom this whole thing that I'm doing, this whole concept and everything like that that I've been working on for years, actually. It's more than just a regular children's book. It's like literally doing research to make the books that I'm doing. And um, my sister just so happened to have a concept of a synopsis of my book in a sense. Not exactly the same, kind of in the ballpark, but not not at all similar, really. It's just like I'm trying to say without saying, but um, anyway, it's it was so it was close. It was just close. It was close, and so she was like, Oh, that sounds similar to my book. And she was asking me, like, you know, she was like, I want to double check with you. Like, let me know like exactly what your book is at. It's just like what are the ideas that you have? What are you working on and things that nature and I told her and what I was working on? I actually have to do some traveling and things like that to complete to to complete my book. That's another reason why it's taken me so long, is because I do need to travel um in order to like get some of the information that I would want to get for my book. And so, or books rather. And so she was like, Wow, that's really cool. She was like, my concept is similar, this is what I'm doing, and some of the things that she like was telling me, even like just given the stories like that she had come up with, I was like, Oh, it's kind of something that I'm doing to my book in a sense. I was telling her, I was like, we can really just like piggyback off of each other, but um, she was saying um she didn't want to do it at all. Um she was like, I don't want to be anywhere near in comp in competition with you. She was like, I will I want you to push yours out. She was like, you know, maybe we can like merge on something else or do a different concept or whatever, because I still want to write. And I was like, that sounds good. She was like, I just don't, I just want you to be able to have your thing like by yourself and actually make that happen. So I thought that was like huge, you know, because she decided to like mix nay on her something that she was working on just because it was even if even though it wasn't um completely the same, just because it was even similar in any sense to her, it was like, no, I want you to have that because that's your thing. You've been working on it for years, you know. So I love that, you know, thought process because I was just saying most people would never, would never at all.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

At all, you know, it's like people be in competition with you, like I was saying, you know, without you even knowing that you're in competition. It's like I'm just sitting over here minding my business. I'm not bothering anybody, I'm not competing at all. And it's like no matter what you do, how you present yourself sometimes can be a problem. But it's not your problem. It's a them problem. It doesn't mean that you need to change for, you know what I'm saying, to appease how they think or what they feel. No. Let them they're entitled to their opinion. Ducks, you know what I'm saying, water off a duck's ass, let it keep rolling. You know, it doesn't matter. It is not gonna stop you from getting to where you need to be. You know, um and that was another thing that you like, it's like people like to gatekeep um withhold information from me, as you were stating when you were trying to find out about that website. And it's like why? There's enough there's enough room out here for everybody to eat. But you know, it's like everybody wants that 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

To be honest with you, they just want the 15 minutes where they stand out and you know, it's not a bad thing. Again, everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame, or 15 seconds, or however they how many seconds they get or whatever. As long as you're not caught on a camera somewhere, on a kid's cam, I guess it's cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Yeah, no, um, that's exactly like what one of the concepts that they teach in um marketing class, uh, one of my marketing classes was using that exact analogy. It's like because if you think about one of the one of the things that um he pointed out, my professor pointed out was if you go to the grocery store and you go to the bread aisle and you see one brand, where did all these other brands come from? Like how did all these other thoughts come about and why are they all sharing in the same area? It's because one idea for one person can be similar, but it's a shared idea. It literally is a shared idea. We all freaking like bread. Who doesn't like bread? Okay, but you have your favorites, some like your, you know, your Cyrilese and all that, Wanders and all that, stuff like that. And there you go.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

One thing I do know about the bread out it will go from like the cheaper brands to the higher end, the name brand, the more qual, the quote unquote, yo. So I was in Wally's world, right? And I'm sitting here, I'm looking for tuna fish. I see the name brand, you know, with the Sammy.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Okay, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:14

And then I see the Great Value brand.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

They're the same price. So now I'm starting to look at it like, wait a minute, that don't make sense. So I'm starting to look at the ingredients and fact checking, like, why why pay one for the other? Why would this brand, which is supposed to be cheaper than this name brand, why is it the exact same price? You know, and you know, went down the list, needless to say, I went with the name brand, but right it's the same, it's the same price. Why? Anyway, I digress. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

That's that's actually interesting. I've I'm I I've never seen that actually. Yeah, that's actually weird. The same price. Uh logic behind that doesn't even make sense because you are a sortborn. The whole point is so people can want to buy you because you're cheaper.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Right. It was the exact same price. And I was like, Sometimes you just get caught in name recognition and you just pick up what you pick up and keep it moving.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

That's true too. And you know, it's um that's another thing that people have to be aware of too, is like you nine times out of ten are purchasing a name, you know, more so than an item. So who matters to you? What company matters to you again is why the why you would choose Wonder over Sarah Lee or Sarah Lee over Wonder. I don't eat any of them, just an FYI for people who think that I'm advocating for them. I don't eat either one.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

I'm looking And they're not sponsored.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

First of all, so I'm eating the expensive bread, unfortunately. For me, it actually does taste better.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Certain things I can agree with you with, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Certain things actually do taste better. Well, at least when it comes to bread. I'm picky with bread. So I like bread, but I can't do cheap I can't do cheap bread. Can I just cheap cheap?

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Ketchup and cheese. You can't bring me off-brand ketchup or cheese. We're gonna fight.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Oh, yeah. I can't do off-brand ketchup. Oh my god, I tried, oh man, I'll try some off-brand ketchup for the first time. I think like probably last year. Oh, it might have been last year. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try to like save a little money. I've never tried it before. So I don't do the off-brand.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Never, never.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

Never again. So I got one for you though, because this might make you change your mind. You ready for it?

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Would you buy frozen? I mean, if you're gonna buy frozen. Frozen vegetables.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Are you buying name brand or are you buying off brand?

– Curated Masks & Social Illusions Unpacking the psychology of social media envy and how to reclaim your focus.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Oh see, that's a good one. So I will buy an off brand, but it has to be organic. But yeah, I will buy an off brand. I mean, I there's only a couple of stores that I shop at anyways. I only shop at Whole Foods, Publix, Fresh Market, places like that. And that's just a preference for me. Just because of my stomach issues, I try to eat as clean as possible when I can't. But but yeah, when it comes to frozen, as long as it's organic, I'll eat the store brand. I eat I have literally so many three six spots.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Right, right, right. I got a bunch of three six pies in there. You know, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

Right, that part. But I mean, I'm I'm sure that the brands will tell us that there's a difference in between the vegetables and things of that nature. Well, when I sit down, I look at, I don't care if it's a can, unless you're seasoning these canned vegetables, they're vegetables. They came out of the ground. What different what did you do different about them? To be charging me this.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

The only thing that you can say you did different is if you use some pesticides. You use pesticides, that's what you did.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

And you're gonna charge me for that?

SPEAKER_01 23:30

And you gonna charge me for that? Because now I'm really getting ready to go. God. But yeah, it's just, you know, I don't want to feel um, even with companies, I'm sure they don't want to feel, you know, undervalued or they don't want to be overlooked. So they have to come up with something that's going to want you to purchase them. So it's just like with us, it's like you have to have something that a person wants to purchase from you. But again, it goes back to what my friend was saying. It doesn't have to come from you if they know that it's you. So if they don't know that it's you, there's a likelihood that they might actually get it. They might actually purchase, they might actually be, you know, because they don't know. And that's and that and that is what blows my mind. That's the simple fact that they don't know it came from you. And you know, pseudo names are out there. People use it all the time. They come they have their they have all kinds of pseudo names. And you know, I mean, almost every artist, you know, has has one, you know. So I mean, Tupac, that ain't his name. He was not born Tupac. Okay. So his birth certificate, does it say Tupac?

SPEAKER_02 24:47

It does. It actually is. It's T U though. It's T U P A C.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Right. Tupac Tupac. It's not a two. Right. But it's the T U.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

I mean, how many names have Pete Diddy can't have? I don't know how many names that dude have. Six, seven, six, seven.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

My God, I know you did.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

Kids would be so proud of me.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

I'm sure. I'm sure. But I'm glad you brought that back up, though, because it reminded me, like, you know, like the whole Lotto situation right now, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

And her sister. Because the the way that you stated it, if people know that it's you, they won't support you, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

How many times would you say, you know what I'm saying, like your family members or whomever, friends or whoever, they claim that, oh yeah, I got you, I got you, but then you never see that support, right? But mess around and make it. And then everybody talks about how you don't look out for anybody, but where was where were you when I was out here grinded? I didn't see you sharing, I didn't see you liking, I didn't see you doing none of that.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

You didn't support me, and that was free. And now of a sudden you want something.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

That was great.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

And now you want something? Man, stop, bro.

– Main Character Energy The shift from "fitting in" to "owning the room"—how to protect your peace while you rise.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

That's wild. Yeah, that's actually a huge point because it just shows how how envy works, you know. You're like really showing like toxic nature. Like it's it's so mind-blowing, honestly, because you want to feel like someone's supporting you out of just like legitimately supporting you, they care about you, they you know, and things like that. Now I get it. If it's something obviously that you are against, like, yeah, that's you know, that's different, you know. Um I wouldn't go as far as saying is if you have you have a bread company and you don't make gluten-free, and I'm telling you to promote my stuff and you don't you don't eat it. Or if you're, you know, a Christian and then you don't believe in like atheism, or you're you're atheists, and one person atheist, one person's Christian, and you're saying, Oh, I want you to share this information even though it goes against your belief. That's not the kind of support I'm talking about. I'm talking about things that like are not harmful but yet beneficial to one-hearted, you know, and it doesn't go against someone's nature. You never want to obviously, you know, go against your own nature. That that I don't support. I don't support that at all. But I do think that if it it does not hurt you, like if your friend has a book and the book is like, I don't know, about the sky being blue, it's not gonna hurt you to share because the sky is blue. It's not gonna not gonna hurt you in any way. But it's free, even if you don't have the money to purchase it, you know? And a lot of times that in itself, just sharing the information is so helpful to your to your friend, to your, I don't know, your sis sibling, your mother, you know, your parent, whomever it is that you have a relationship with. I mean, even when I I remember when I um first when you first told me about, you know, the store, how to do the store and uh a website and all that stuff like that, and I did it. I was like, went in and did it and got it all set up and uploaded it, and then I let you know that I did it, and then you immediately supported me. You know, it was I literally had I posted I don't even know how many times I posted and shared and was even on live and I spoke to people about it, and I made business cards and everything, and I gave them all out, but yet I get two people that purchased from my website. I'm like, I literally had stuff on there that was like seven dollars. I have things on there that won't break the bank. You can skip a McDonald's meal and support me. You know, you can not buy anything and you can share it on your platform when you know you have a hundred thousand followers. It's just small things that show, like, oh, you know what? That's cool that you have that, that's cool that you're doing that, and I'm gonna support you in this way. You know, I can't tell you how many times I've shared things from other people just sharing it, and I'll literally I'll I'll go through a whole slither of all the social medias and different stories just to share somebody's, you know, website or whatever it is that they're trying to like promote, you know? And I don't get the same. So it's like I don't have that like jealousy feeling. It's more of a like, I feel like it's more for me like disappointment, maybe? Maybe disappointment, I think, because I do feel overlooked, you know? I feel like it doesn't matter what I do or the things that I'm going through. And it's like I don't know, it really pushes the idea that I just should keep under the radar like I've been doing for the past few months or even the year, like even the year I've been really solely focused on like things I want to do in in my life and working on my own things quietly. Like I have I have pushed out, you know, the podcast, but like to the people closest to me, I don't say I'm a part of the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

I just say, Oh, there's a really cool podcast.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

And then your face is plastered all over it.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Which is so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Because it's like, you know, and I actually did have a few people who actually text me and was like, Oh, you in the podcast, you did the podcast, and I was like, Yeah, how'd you like it? And they were like, Oh, it was really good. I'm like, hmm, I wonder.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Did you really listen? How long did you listen? About 30 seconds, 45 seconds?

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Right. There are questions I have, but I don't obviously divulge in that.

SPEAKER_02 31:53

You know. The thing about the podcast is it will find its tribe, you know. Yeah, for sure. It's not it's not meant for everyone. And we understand that. Um the thing about it is if you if you know, you know. And if you travel in that road, I actually just did the same thing the other day, actually, is um I haven't been on the socials for a while. So I get on threads, and there was a young lady just saying basically she needed someone to talk to. You know what I'm saying? Just somebody who can just listen to her, you know what I'm saying, that can that can teach her about life. So, me being who I am, I suggested the podcast. And you know, you get a couple likes or whatever case off of it, but it at the same time, but we know that the podcast is geared directly towards people who are having these journeys. It's it's that what can you tell me that I need to know right now? What would you tell me at this age that you would have done differently? You know what I'm saying? And it's like, don't let me make them same mistakes that you made or prevent me from going down a direction. That's what this podcast is all about.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

You know, so it's the tribe will find us. We just gotta keep putting it out there. And I understand that, you know, again, I tell people the same thing every time they ask me, what's going on with the podcast, man? It's me. I hate being in front of this camera. And I I really need a team, is what what it boils down to because I need somebody who can actually come in and edit and do all the things that, you know what I'm saying, the behind-the-scenes stuff and get it out here. Let us do what we need to do on the um content side. We create, let creators create and editors edit, you know. Um producers produce, you know, until we get it right. But it's going to grow eventually, you know. And it it's consistency is key, you know what I'm saying? Never mind. Consistency is key.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

No, you're for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

And you know, when when it comes to certain things and um gosh, what did it call what did it call it? It's like the it's a crime scene principle. I can't think of the name of the guy's name to save money for right now. But basically the principal states Yeah, it's basically saying for every crime scene, for everything that's anything that's taken away, something is always left behind. Like, you know, and I forget the name of the principal. It there it's literally a principle for for crimes. Right? So it's basically saying if you show up to a crime scene, if you was there, you took something away, you left something behind. You left behind a fingerprint, you left behind a footprint, you left behind something. You know what I'm saying? Some form of DNA, if you sweated, if you threw out a cigarette, you left something behind. If you were there. Right? Same thing goes for our lives as well. We imprint on each other's whether we realize that or not. You know, and sometimes those imprints can be good, they can be bad. It depends on what you're taking away from it. Like, I love the fact that you and your sister have this bond where there's no competition, where you're not trying to keep create that competition. Hey, look, I understand this is something that you really want to do, even though I started doing it too. I mean, we grew up in the same household. Chances are we're gonna have some similar thought processes, right? But she fell back. There's no competition. No, you stole my idea, no, I think your idea is better, or you got more things that go on than I had. Or that since you know what I'm saying, or she's not trying to steal the ideas that you gave her. You know, in instead you're working in units. Um, beautiful thing. Not everybody does that. You know, there are times where we can try to let people know how we move or what we think and how you know saying whatever our thought process is. And they may see it and they understand that what you're saying is right, but they know they physically, mentally, whatever, they just don't have the capacity. I don't really even want to say that, because it's not true. They just don't have the drive. That's all it is. They don't have the drive to make whatever it is that you're looking to do go through. It's real and authentic. Let's just keep it real.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah. And people don't even see what's going on, people don't even see like the the background of of those things anyways. You know, like you don't see what people are going through on the other side. Like, for example, I have uh two friends. They're married, they've been together, they've only been together, literally. I think since like I want to say not middle school, like ninth grade or something like that. But they've been together all these years. They call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, which I think is really cute. They've been married for like 30 years or something like that, but they've been together for like like 35, 40 years they've been together. It's really crazy. But um, they have this very on the outside, they have this very beautiful relationship. And like you see from the outside this whole family dynamic that they have, and now all three of their children are married, and you know, you just think, oh wow, this family has flourished. This family is all that. This family has this, they're good. And but you don't know like what their struggles are, you don't know what their sacrifices are, you don't know, like, you don't know what they have to go through to even get to where they are now. You don't know what they're going through now. They could be having struggles, but they're just trying to like make it work and they're like, you know what, we're gonna go out today because we've had a crappy week and you know, things been off track, and you know, and it's like for someone to be in their feelings about their thinking that another person is doing like all these things or whatever, you know, because I even had someone say to me once um about the whole like so every December I have like this, I don't know, it it's this it's this gray cloud that comes over me. And like I try to like get myself out of the funk, you know, and it just never really truly seems to like get me out. It's the holidays, it's my dad's birthday, my dad's no longer here. He did everything when it came to Christmas and New Year's, like everything, all the decorations, all the yes, all the he went out every year. And again, it's his birthday. So, like that cloud for some reason, just I don't know how to shake it. And I try to, I've been doing it for years trying to shake it, but uh it's so hard for me during that time. And I was in Seattle, and even in Seattle on vacation, or so have you, I'm literally just like distraught. I'm broken. So it didn't matter that I was somewhere else, like it doesn't matter where I'm at, or whatever. So I had a conversation with some of my compadres or whatever, and one of them had the nerve to be like, you aren't even here. And I'm just like, so because I'm not here, that means that I have to be like, I don't know, the happiest person in the world.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

But it's like empathy, sympathy, apathy.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

No, no, seriously, for real, for real. You can't assume that people have everything going for them because you see the few things that I I invite you to see. You're like, well, you are out of town, so that means you're happy and everything's, you know. I mean, I it it's not for anything. When I did my European trip, solo European trip, I'm not gonna lie, I was very happy. I was probably the happiest I've been in a very long time. However, I'm not gonna say I didn't have moments because I would be walking down the alleys or whatever, and um I'm just like looking around and I'm like, there were times where because I'm an early bird too, so I'll like wake up early and I would just go for a walk and there's like really nobody outside, and I'm just like by myself, and I'm thinking like not only am I actually by myself, I'm legitimately by myself. And it's just kind of it makes me feel like, or it made me feel like this kind of like overwhelming sadness, you know, and not feeling like I had support or or anything like that, just giving me these feeders and reminders of being alone. And um, did I tell anyone about that? Actually, this is the very first time I even speaking about this, but um, I didn't tell anybody about it. I never uh when you asked me, oh, you did that solo trip in Europe, how did it go?

SPEAKER_00 41:18

God bless.

SPEAKER_01 41:21

Because I did. It's not a lie, you know. I did have fun. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I did so much, you know, and I would love to go back sooner than later. But like, yeah, I have some down moments that you are not invited to know about, you know, because of this exact thing. You're gonna be like, oh, well, you went out, you went out of the country. You had to be like 1,000% on cloud nine. It's like, nah, that's not how life works all the time. You don't know what's happening in the background, especially when you're not asking, especially when you're not, you know, diving in to figure out what's going on and say you're in your head with this illusion that you have created for my life.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

And that's the thing, is because a lot of times, especially when you go within and you don't talk to anyone, you go in that hermit mode, as they say, you know, it's like people don't know what you're doing. So they assume. And then they start asking questions, and they nobody knows anything, and then everything you know, they're making up stuff, you know. And it's like, you know, when it comes down to it, it's all about protecting your inner peace, protecting your peace. And it doesn't matter what anybody thinks.

SPEAKER_00 42:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

We don't really need the validation, although we look for it. Although we look for it. We don't really need it.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

That's true.

– The Support Paradox Why lifting others is the fastest way to rise, provided you don't lose yourself in the process.

SPEAKER_02 42:44

But I really, you know what I'm saying? I I want to hear somebody say we did a good job. Oh, that was fire. Or whatever it, you know what I'm saying? Whatever it is. You know, you you don't need it. You know it is uh you know whatever it is that you have done, is that it? You know what I'm saying? It's like I don't don't need it, but it does feel good. And that's ego. It does boil down to ego.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

And a healthy amount of ego, you know, saying a small amount.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Right.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

It's still healthy, but not too much.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

No, that's facts. I think another thing is I feel like some people may want to like, you know, have your experiences too, you know, and they think that your experiences line up to like what's supposed to be what, you know. And again, you still it's still an illusion because you don't know again what's happening in the background. But you're like, dang, they're successful, they have this, you know, you have validation, they work in at these big companies or they own these big companies, you know, and things of that nature. And it's like you still don't know like what's happening, you know, around. You I saw this. How can I say this in a clean way? I saw this on keep it real.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Keep it authentic.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

It goes into something that I probably don't want to dive into. But uh yeah. So we're gonna keep it real, but we're gonna we're gonna keep it, you know. So no, it's it's just so we have this thing going on in our world right now, you know.

SPEAKER_00 44:26

I'm gonna say that. And uh there was a leader, I'm gonna say a leader, and they worked for the top leader.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

So the top leader obviously has some problems and did some things that has caused a bigger issue, you know.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Did he grab some? He might have, he might have, you know, um, he might have um grabbed a body.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Okay, so anyways, um so yeah. And so he wrote a letter literally resigning his top position that he had because of the thing that the top man did. And then just like wow, and people would probably be like, Oh my god, you would let such a job go. You're making all this money, and you have all this stuff going on, and uh you don't know what this man done seen, heard, lived in, and all these other things, and all these factors going on. The man quit, resigned a good job for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

Because you'll find another, he had another one lined up before he resigned, trust me.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, for sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

But all money ain't good money.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Exactly. Exactly. Oh. I pray for his safety, though, because you know people be disappearing. But, anyways, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

They go on vacation and never come back.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

A long one.

SPEAKER_02 46:04

And never come back. When I win the lottery, I'm going on vacation and I'm never coming back. I'm changing every time.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Like they say, like they say, uh, you won't, I'm never tell anybody that I won the lottery. But there will be.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

There will be signs. That mother got up and got the hell up out of here.

SPEAKER_00 46:24

Hey, y'all seen her. Where'd she go?

SPEAKER_02 46:28

Bruh. I would keep the old house, though. I really would. I would keep the first house. I would keep the first house because it reminds me of where I came from.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Dead ass. It'd be an Airbnb, but I keep it. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

Glass house personas, illusions. You never know what somebody's going through. You might think somebody has it all together. Just because they look good on paper don't mean that everything is good. There's so many different competitions. There's so many things that, especially internally, that goes on within the home that you would never know.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

Never know.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

A person could be having one of the biggest house driving in debt. It could be, or they got a nice job where all their money go to child support. It could be, you know what I'm saying? It's like, you never know. You win a Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai. You never know.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

I mean, somebody, I I look at it like this. Somebody has to be the one to push the button. Somebody has to be the one to pull the trigger. You know, it's not like sometimes people aren't doing things that they really want to be doing. You know, they do it out of like a necessity, you know. I gotta pay my bills. I have to pay for my house. I pay for my car. I have children to feed, you know, and things of that nature. You don't know what they're doing, you know, if they're if they don't want, especially if they're not obviously telling you those things, you know. So you can't, I I feel like that shift of jealousy really needs to be evaluated because it's like you have to stop looking at people, people with this like mirror mentality. Like you're looking at them like, these are the things that I want, but you're looking at it from a mirror, just the plain surface. Do you also want to deal with the struggles that come with that? Do you want that? Do you want the depression that comes with that? You want that too, huh? You know?

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Do you know what you really want? That's a real question. Because a lot of a lot of people say, I want money. But if money is the thing that you really, really want, then when you get money, would you spend it?

SPEAKER_00 48:56

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

Because you wanted money. And if it's something that you really wanted, you wouldn't be so quick to give it away. So is it something that you really, really want? I I get it. I need money because I got bills to pay. Okay, you want your bills paid. But money is not the thing that you really want because as soon as you get the money, you hand it to somebody else. So as you were saying, people, most people, we do not live in our true authentic nature. We don't. You know, we we do things that have been programmed or pre-programmed into us. And it's been going on shit since birth. You know, um it's call and response is really what it is. It's that Marco, and people already know what to say. It's the replies polo, right? Stop drop and roll if you catch on fire. You know what I'm saying? We're programmed to think, behave, and do things in a certain manner. So we're programmed for at least 12 years, right?

SPEAKER_00 50:01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 50:02

That you're going to go to school once you finish high school, you're going to go out and get a job or go to college and then get a job.

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Military. There's always those three.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

But ultimately, you're gonna end up working.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:18

Or working for someone else.

SPEAKER_00 50:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

How many courses are teaching you how to actually be an entrepreneur? How to go out there and get it for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 50:28

Right.

SPEAKER_02 50:29

You know, we don't have to be. We're pre-programmed, and because of that, we think in a certain dynamic. So we see and we start to compare ourselves to others. What did you get on that? What'd you get on that test? Oh, I got this. What'd you get? You know what I'm saying? And we're comparing. And all through our life, we carry that out with us. So now all of a sudden we we're comparing ourselves to everything. Well, this person, I went to school with them and we graduated at the same time, and they got this, and I don't have that. So we start the comparison, you know what I'm saying? Their journey is not your journey, your journey is not their journey.

SPEAKER_01 51:09

I love that word journey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:11

Because that's what it is. You know what I'm saying? It's like we're going to go on our different paths, and what you want out of life may not be the same thing that I may want out of life.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

Right.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

So our paths are going to go in our separate ways. And we can't compare what this person has to what that person has, or what I have to what this person had, because it may not have been in the cards for me. I may have wanted something completely different than what you wanted, and you went and pursued what it was that you wanted. You know, I was talking to one of my closest friends, and we were talking about the kids and how we're pushing them to be at that next level with sports and things of that nature. Education first, and then sports. And then it's like the question came up how good this person was and that person was and why they didn't ever make it. And the answer is simply because they didn't pursue it. No matter how you want to look at it, you had the talent, you had the knowledge, you had the skill. You quit, you stopped. You didn't pursue it, you didn't go grind for it. You know what I'm saying? So it was like, you can't say what I could have been or what I could achieve if you don't put your best foot forward to go out of there and actually try to achieve it. So you are comparing yourself to an idea of something that you felt like you could have done, and yet you didn't try to do it. Not saying us personally, I'm just putting that out there in general, because don't what is it? Comparison is like the thief of joy or something, or uh the joy, whatever it is. I can't remember the saying right now. You know what I'm saying? Comparison is like the thief of joy. It is. Because you would never enjoy your life if you're always comparing yourself to someone or something else. I'm gonna land my plane there.

– The Final Play & Call to Action A summary of today's lessons and the "Real & Authentic" challenge for the AIO Family.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

No, I agree. Um, you know, you can't, and you can't really compare your life anyways, because there are certain things that you are going to be able to do different from the person that you're even trying to do something with. Like, for example, I have to be like, oh man, if I could be a pitcher like that, like I really want to be a pitcher like that. And then you go out there and you work hard and you put in the effort and you practice and all these different things, you might end up being way better than that picture. But you can also be worse than that picture, you know? It might not even be your lane. That might not even be your journey, you know? And you don't know how they even got there. You know what I'm saying? So, like, um, I feel like people, again, with that journey, I love that that word because it really is like finding your own path, you know, finding your own way when it comes to anything that you do. I feel like another thing that you have pointed out was what do you actually want? Like, literally, what do you want? Not saying, oh, I want to do this because I saw somebody else do it and it looks cool. You know, no, what is your passion? What are your desires? Like, if you could do anything that you wanted in this world, you know, like what would it be? Like researching the steps that you think that you need to take for that. Like research, ask questions. I mean, we're in a time now where AI can pretty much answer almost any questions that you have. Yeah, you gotta double check it, whatever, but it's still there. Like it's way better than what we had before. And it's constantly growing, you know. So there's really like no excuses for anyone to want to be jealous. It's really about just like putting yourself out there. And it's also about others really like truly rooting for you or just like staying away from you. You know, it's like don't pretend to be something that you're not. Like if you're not a supporter, you don't want me to win, you really don't care about anything that I'm doing, then how about you just stay away? Like, just stay away.

SPEAKER_02 55:23

Please and thank you.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Okay, have a nice day. So, yeah, uh, it's you know, it's just those things that um I kind of think about when it comes to, you know, what is it that we are all supposed to like, even be valuable. These are the type of things that I would like to do or I would like to get involved in. You know, like me personally, I'm all into, you know, conservation. You know, not everybody's gonna be into that, and that's okay. Everybody doesn't have to be into that. I don't need everybody following me, you know, down this path that I'm going if it's not their journey. You know, it's mine and it's mine to live. And that kind of makes me think of another point um when it comes to quote unquote jealousy, envy, you know, the seven deadly sins is that like sometimes people will instead of like supporting you, they support you out of. Because they're like, oh, well, you shouldn't do this because of X, Y, and Z. I don't think you should do this, you know, it doesn't work for you. Or I've tried this and it didn't work for me. And so this is why I think you shouldn't do it, you know. And um, you know, it is there's just, I guess there's really a lot of ways that people cannot support. They're supporting by not supporting.

SPEAKER_02 56:48

I saw that quote where it says that if you really pay attention, you will notice that your haters are really your biggest fans.

SPEAKER_00 56:58

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 56:59

Because they they see it in you and they know you can do it.

SPEAKER_00 57:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 57:04

They see it in you. But they try to discourage you from doing whatever it is, whatever your skill set, whatever your passion, whatever your journey is. They'll try to shame you in any way, shape, form, or fashion. And anytime, I mean, if they're shaming you, it's mainly because one, they know that you can do it, and they know that they do not possess that skill set. They don't have that in them. They're not as smart as you are. They're not as fast as you are, they're not, you know what I'm saying, at the athletic as you are, whatever it might be. And because of that, they most often will try to make you feel bad about whatever it is so that you don't even even get started. And if you are have started, then again, like you said, they want to pick out the little small things to try to make you quit. But you can't.

SPEAKER_00 57:57

Right.

SPEAKER_02 57:57

If it's in you, you're gonna keep going anyway, because it's something that it's a passion. When you are passionate about something, it's gonna it's gonna find its way to the surface.

SPEAKER_01 58:10

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 58:11

You know, it just will, you know. You got anything else you wanna add to this particular?

SPEAKER_00 58:16

That was really good.

SPEAKER_02 58:19

Read. It's been a long time.

SPEAKER_01 58:23

I don't need step to step to step to step two.

SPEAKER_02 58:28

Well, here you go. So let's close it out. It's been another episode of All in One. Appreciate you all for uh coming out. You know, as always, we're gonna keep it real. We keep it authentic. We're all in.

SPEAKER_00 58:44

All in one. I'ma start the recording.