When Your Plan Fails, Change This Immediately...

When Plan A fails, do you fold or do you pivot? 

In this heavy-hitting Sunday release of All in One, we strip away the noise and get real about hitting rock bottom, navigating unexpected redirection, and executing cold-blooded contingency planning. Whether your career, your finances, or your personal circle just took a hit, failure isn't the end of your story—it is a mandatory "tower moment" designed to shake up your foundation and force you into your next evolution. 

We break down the absolute reality of the 5 P’s: Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. We look at how to auditing your inner circle to distinguish who is genuinely clutch from the people throwing you leaky lifeboats when you’re vulnerable. Plus, a raw look at overcoming the people-pleasing trap, setting non-negotiable boundaries, and establishing simple, realistic goals to turn your biggest setback into your ultimate setup. 

Stop waiting for smooth sailing. Stop offering excuses. Real talk, no fluff. Your next level is waiting on the other side of a plan reset. 

🎧 Subscribe & Listen on Your Favorite App via Our Hub: https://linktr.ee/REALANDAUTHENTIC

Transcript

The Reality of Broken Plans

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Welcome back to All in One, ladies and gentlemen. This is the podcast where we keep it real. We keep it authentic. Today, we're just gonna jump straight into the topic. We're talking about what do you do when your plan fails? When plan A fails, do you have a plan B? What about a plan C? Did you get the D or D? I don't know. What we gonna do? What we gonna do? Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's get to it. I cannot be mature. And that's why I love it. You know what I'm talking about? So shit. What do you do when you're playing fail though? For real.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Yeah. Um that's what I'm trying to think. Like, it's like, you know, I made a plan and then my plan got terminated early. So yeah, I have to do like my plan. I have I should have had a plan B. But I actually did not make a plan B. Um my plan or no, let me take that back. I had a plan B. However, my plan B was not supposed to start. Was I not supposed to start immediately. Um it unfortunately it has to start immediately. So I have to like really um work hard on that plan B. Or that's what I feel like I have to work hard on that plan B. I don't know. I probably don't. Um, but my head and my heart goes into two different directions because of the type of person that I am. I say, I want to do this. This is what I want to do, and this is how I want to get to this point. However, there's another part of me that says, Well, you have to do this, which is like you have to make money, you have to pay your bills right now. So you have to make changes. Um, you know, because of those things. And I don't know, it's probably just that mindset of how we all grew up for the most part, and what we're taught, you know, the way we're taught to make things happen, you know. And I think that's also a good point, thinking about like when people don't follow their dreams, you know. People have these goals or dreams that they aspire in their lives and they don't take the chance on it because we're taught early on, you gotta pay your bills, you gotta make money to do that, and you know, sometimes you have to like do things you don't wanna do to get to the thing that you wanna do. It's like that don't make sense. It's called sacrifices, but it's but yeah, basically, yeah, that um so it's uh it's a for me, I would say it's it's definitely harder um when you feel like you have to make some sacrifices um that you didn't want to make that's not on your timeline. So I'm trying to navigate through that. I think that's hard to navigate through sometimes. You gotta think about your circle, your supporters, not supporters, coming up with different scenarios of how to even get through those things. I don't know.

The 5 P's of Strategic Recovery

SPEAKER_03 3:48

I see where you're going. Uh well for me, what is what to do when the plan fails. I mean, it all starts with the you know saying the five P's, right? What do you call it? The the proper prevent um what is it? Uh how did it go? Damn, I'm I'm drawing a blank.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

The five P P.

SPEAKER_03 4:14

Proper preparation prevents P poor performance. Let me say that again. Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance, is what we used to say, right? So if you prepare for the worst, you hope for the all right, you plan, you hope for the best, but you plan for the worst.

SPEAKER_04 4:36

Right?

SPEAKER_03 4:37

All right, so what is the worst that can happen in any scenario? Um, and this is just me bringing in both military strategic planning as well as MBA and other certifications where d disaster recovery was always a thing for us. So you always think farther out what is the what's the worst that can happen. And if this worst case scenario happens, am I prepared? How will I survive through this time period? Things of that nature. So you're always looking farther out past five years if you can. Um I and I get it. Most times you don't you put in a situation where it's right here, right now. You know, you know what I'm saying? It's like it happened in a flash, it it was an accident, something happened, you know what I'm saying? Whatever it might have been, it came unexpectedly.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

So if you didn't plan or you didn't have that continuency plan in place, what do you do? So then we become reactive. Right? So if you don't have a plan, then you react. It's just natural order of things. So again, what I would say is to think about whatever situation you're in and try to look at least five years down the road. Where do I see myself five years from now? Um do I want to be doing this what I'm currently doing, or do I want to progress and do something differently? I mean, there's also an option to regress, but you know, that's for a different podcast. So if you have a plan, then obviously you can go to plan B. All right, we should be able to execute this if this happens. You know, that's why they say that those rainy day funds, they talk about it today. It's hard as hell to try to keep a rainy day fund if you can. If not, you gotta find a hustle that's gonna be able to offset, you know, what it is that you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

So I literally just saw a post this morning that said it said, What am I supposed to do with my rainy day fun when it's always raining?

SPEAKER_03 6:53

Right. That boy.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

I'm like, bro, facts. It's always raining.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

My rainy day fun is like the boondocks. I bet you wish we had a raincoat right now.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Oh, for real.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

This nigga went to get a motherfucking raincoat.

Auditing the Leaky Lifeboats

SPEAKER_03 7:15

So, yeah, that rainy day fun can be it's tough.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:20

So, especially today when everything is expensive, hell. Gas is just as much as taking going out on a date nowadays, you know what I'm saying? So shit. What do you do? How do you recover? How do you how do you move about? You know, because what do you fall back on?

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

Who can you lean on? So now it's time to see the ones who really support you, right? Versus the ones who say they support you. They'll show up and they'll be there for you.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

You know, and you know, you have to look at from me. This is something that I had to do when I was going through a similar uh situation where my plan A, B, and C fell through. And it's like, how the fuck did this happen? You know, like I got continuancy plans, but nothing's nothing's going in the order in which I thought they were gonna go in. So then it comes time to it's like, okay, you gotta lean on certain people or people that you've been showing up for A1 since day one, and then you want to see how they show up for you as well, and then you realize that they throw you a lifeboat. But then when you get out in the water and you get away from them, you realize that damn boat got holes in it. It looks great from the outside. Right. But from the inside, I'm fucking sinking. You've taken away from me just as much as I'm giving you know what I'm saying, as I've been giving to you when you're supposed to be helping me. It makes it look like you're helping me, but you're not.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

But you're not, right.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

So how do you distinguish yourself? Cut yourself off from those people, you know what I'm saying? Like you'll see these people now, more than ever. Um, now that you're, you know what I'm saying, that you may be in a in that vulnerable state where you need them. And it's it's go time. Who's clutch? Who's gonna show up? And who just talks a good game?

SPEAKER_04 9:23

Right.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Now now it's time to find out. So I'll kick it back over to you. What's your thought process on that?

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Yeah,

Categorizing Your Inner Circle

SPEAKER_01 9:30

no, that's a big um big deal to think about the people that may or may not be in your corner, you know. Um, because I've been actually the past like two months, I would say, I've literally been thinking about that, like who's in my corner? Um, because I've been feeling like kind of outcast in a in a way. Like I feel like the only way I can like get a few people is like if I reach out to a few people, like not the other way around, you know, kind of thing. And so I've been like literally listing everybody that like I feel like I have a connection to, and then I'm kind of like um putting them on a scale, really. And I spoke to one person about it, and they were saying they don't think that that's right when you feel like you can't do everything with one person that doesn't make them a friend, and another person was like, No, they I don't talk to all my friends the same, or I don't treat all my friends the same, and you know, and I'm like, to me, I feel like you have your friends that are categorized. Like, I don't feel like everybody should be put in the same category. Like, and so I don't think that doesn't make them a friend. It's just like these friends aren't gonna be valuable in this area, or they they may not be able to help in this area, or they may not uh believe the same thing that you do. You know, like I'm not gonna go to a friend of mine who's not a Christian and be like, I need I need somebody to pray for me. You know, that doesn't mean that they're not my friend. They don't I just won't go to them for that because they don't have the same belief that I have, you know. They don't think in the same way that I think, you know, in those certain cases. So I I have been like categorizing my friends. I wasn't doing it before, um, but or at least I wasn't doing that out loud, you know. It was kind of like one of those like natural things. It's like you've grown to know people on certain levels, so this is where they are, um, you know, in that level or whatever. And um, so I've just been like kind of thinking about that lately, and I've had a very stressful um couple of months trying to navigate through all of these different relationships, and I'm trying to do it one at a time. Um, I mean, my circle is like dot. It's like a little eyeball, you know. But um, the people that do have in my circle, I'm I'm trying to do it like one at a time, like reaching out and trying to like talk to them about certain things, mend things if need to be mend, or you know, letting them know like what's going on with me, trying to figure out what's going on with them and like kind of seeing like where we are or whatever. And um I've only gotten to talk to three people so far, but um one person that I spoke to that did not go well at all. Like that conversation didn't go well. Um they were not they wanted empathy and they wanted um they wanted basically me to like do all of the work, but there was no um reciproc uh um reciprocity like at all. Um I was like I'm wrong. This is why I'm wrong. I apologize for being wrong, and I have to figure out I don't have an answer immediately how to do it how to make it right, but I will work on making it right. Like that's where my head was at. Um and I didn't get that in return. It was not as a matter of fact, they actually told me they didn't care. And uh that was a big deal for me. It's a really big deal. Um I like kind of let it go to like marinade on it or whatever. But then when I went back to try to like figure out what was what, it was kinda like it was ignored. Like there was no nothing and talk about it. And so that added on to the other feelings that I was feeling before. It was like you can't pretend like this conversation didn't happen, you know. Um, so it's definitely making me think some things um that I didn't want to think before, but I mean, so it's just keeping my eye open. Honestly, it was good because it kept my eye open on like basically everybody else. To be like, these are things you need to be looking out for, you need to be thinking about, you know, not everything's gonna be all peaches and cream, but everybody, you have to like really, really focus on who's in your corner and really ask the tough questions, you know. Um, it's like I know for a fact right now, like if I had a friend struggling financially, like I would not be able to help them, you know. Um, so I wouldn't be that friend to be able to do that. But like, you want me to give you a hug and talk to you all day? You want to scream, yell, and cry? I can be that friend for you, you know. Um, but can you like what are you for me? Like, am I just gonna be the person that's always just pouring in? Like, is that what it's gonna be? Or, you know, um because I've done that before and this is why I'm where I am right now, about like who's in my circle, because I know that that is something that I do. And it's also a part of the fact that I'm like a huge people pleaser and I know that about myself, and I've been trying to stop do that. Uh stop doing that because I know I don't like think about myself in a lot of circumstances. I don't I overthink about everybody else and forget myself in the process. So thinking about who's in your circle and really paying attention to that is important, and that's what I'm doing

Boundaries, Growth & Cutting Clean

SPEAKER_01 16:22

right now.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. Um I like the fact that you're actually sitting here and you're trying to make amends with people, especially if you value the the relationship. I can I commend you on that. Me, I was the opposite. When I was going through mine, um, I'm chopping legs, heads. I hear them in it. Um, leg, leg, um, head. Hey, I'm talking, I'm chopping it all off, right? I was cutting folks off left and right. They didn't hear from me. Hey, what's going on? If I ain't fuck with you, I ain't fucked with you. I don't respond to your calls, I don't respond to your text message. If I responded to you, then you know I'm still good. You can let these other folk know if you want to. Hey, that's up to you. But I I don't owe nobody an explanation for how I move. You know what I'm saying? That's just me standing in my true authenticity. I give that fuck less about what anybody thinks.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

My sister said the same thing. She was like, I got friends. I don't talk, I haven't talked to them in years. But bitches, I pick up the phone right now and I say, hey girl, what's up? They gonna be like nothing happened. She was like, if you got friends who care, they care. Regardless.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

Your real friends will respect your boundaries and they would accept your growth. The ones who don't, they try to shame you for something that you're actually doing or make you feel bad about the fact that you cut them off. And it's only because they are not receiving that energy that they once had. I've had a couple people pop up on me. Like, how to first of all, how the fuck you know where I'm at? Second of all, the fuck is you doing here? Like, I ain't been answering your c you ain't been answering my phone calls.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

Wonder why again, what the fuck are you doing here? Like, hey, I'm not if I'm not answering your phone calls, motherfucker, I don't want to talk to you. I've said it before in the previous podcast, I say it again. Just because you want to talk to me, does not mean that I want to talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

And it's just, you have to respect that boundary. So if people do not respect your boundaries, that's the main person you need to cut off. I'm just saying, um, you know what I'm saying? Going back to what you're saying about having your friends and putting them in categories, I respect that as well because, and you even elaborated on it, stating that, you know what I'm saying, uh, certain friends have certain strengths. Let's just do it that way. You know what I'm saying? So I know who to turn to for certain things, and I know who I cannot turn to for certain things. And if I come to you knowing that you're in that same situation or worse, then that makes me a fucked up friend.

unknown 19:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, how can I you just sit up here and told me how you were struggling. It's like, man, fuck your shit. What you can do for me. What you gonna do for me?

SPEAKER_04 19:31

Fuck out.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Yeah. Excuse my language, man. I know I'm throwing S-bombs and stuff all around today, but it's like getting back to the original subject, like, you know what I'm saying? So, because this is your friends. So you have to learn to adapt. As we were saying, like, when the plans fall apart, you know what I'm saying, like, where do you go from here? So the first step is to try to lean on the people that's close to you. You know what I'm saying? And if those people find themselves to not be the squares in your circle. And I actually had a bar on ass. Like, I got a couple squ I got, man, I got squares in my circle. That's a couple solid corners I can lean on. You know what I'm saying? And then I go from there. But it's like if you don't have squares inside your circle, that you don't have people that you can lean on. Who really in your circle? Are they really solid? You know what I'm saying? So it's like we said before, iron sharpen iron sharpens iron. So you keep the right people around you and eventually you'll will start to move in that same, you know, saying the right direction, you'll figure out what it is that you need to do, or at least the path forward. So even if you can't do something monetarily for me, there are other things that can be done. You know what I'm saying? Especially if I'm in a in a stage where you know I need help. Well you know there's other things, like I said, there's other things that can that can be done. We got friends that get stamps and they won't even try and feed nobody. I know people like that.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

You know what I'm saying? And it's like it's it ain't costing you, really. You know what I'm saying? Technically, it's coming out your pot, but you weren't gonna use the shit in no way. Help somebody else out. You know, but a lot of people don't don't feel that way. You have to look out for your circle to see who feels like they're putting themselves on a pedestal by helping you. AKA placing attachments on anything that they do for you. Um, and this is going back, I think we said this once before about somebody giving out a birthday gift, and they were talking about all the stuff that they had to do to give you to get that gift. So if you're in a time of need and somebody's talking to you and making them pumping themselves up to make you look at what it is that they're doing, they just always Wanted that position. They always wanted that spotlight and they're taking the opportunity. Because if there was a real friend, they would have never brought the shit up.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

You know what I'm saying? Like what you tell me as a real friend stays between me and you. Even amongst our friend groups. If they heard about it, they didn't hear about it from me. You know what I'm saying? They heard about it from, you know what I'm saying? Whoever else you might have told, and they dumb folks talking. But it's like that's one of the main things. It's like friends gotta keep friends secrets. And by that I mean not shit that's illegal type stuff, and that's gonna get somebody else, you know what I'm saying? I mean like if you're vulnerable, you're in the states, and you just needed somebody to talk to, you needed somebody to vent to. I took that. That stays between us. That doesn't get disseminated between everyone else within the group. And if it does, you're not my friend. Cause now I can't trust you with nothing. You know, so after the friend groups, what's the next step? You know, where do you go from there? You know, so if you didn't have a plan, and I hate to say it this way, because I don't wanna I don't mean for it to sound harsh, but these these are things that we used to say um in the military primarily, and it hardened the fuck out of me. I'm just gonna be honest about it, right? Is that if you plan, if you you know, you know how it goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Then plan to fail. So what was your steps? What what's next? You have so much that you can do. It's just that a lot of times what we end up doing is putting on these blinders based upon what we've been taught. Gotta get like you said before, gotta get that job, gotta do this, got bills to pay.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

So we're in this confinement already. But in reality, follow your dreams.

Escaping the Confinement Loop

SPEAKER_03 24:09

Do what you love. Because doing what you love and you can find a way to monetize it, well, you're not working. You're just doing what you love and getting paid for it. Make it make sense, man. Why sh why struggle? Why put yourself back in the rat in that rat race?

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

When right now you have the freedom of social media. You know, you have the freedom of online stores, digital products. If you make something one time, right, and it's a popular product, it's gonna continue to sell. So ask yourself, what is that one thing that people need, they won't, that I can produce? What is it? And I mean that goes that's not just a one-on-one, that goes across the board to anyone who's listening. You have something within you. And I know earlier we were talking, and I don't know if you believe in in a lot of things, I believe in these things called angel messages.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Right, and it's like I've been thinking this thing all week, all month, half of the year, and all of a sudden, some stranger out of nowhere, whether it's on YouTube, whether it's in a song, whether it's somebody in public that we just happen to come across, they say the exact same thing that you were thinking. They're doing exactly what it is that you wanna be doing. They're saying the things that you thought is right there in your face. That's confirmation to you that you are supported in doing whatever it is that you want to do. You just gotta get off your ass and do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Right. Yeah, that makes me think about um, I think I told you before, um, my sister was telling me she had found out that I was writing these books, and she was like, wait, this like sounds kind of similar, not exactly the same, but it sounds, you know, in the in the vicinity of like my thinking. And she was like, it makes sense because we're siblings, you know, we grew up the same, and you know, so she was like, um, but she was like, but I really want that for you. So she was like, I'm gonna step back and let you do that. She was like, I'm not even gonna produce anything, you know, until after you do that. And so um, I thought that was pretty dope of her because you know, most people won't do that.

SPEAKER_04 27:06

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Most people be like, oh, I got the same idea. Good luck, girl.

SPEAKER_03 27:13

Right, right. Game on competition. First to the finish line.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

No, seriously, and it's like it's so crazy because now you saying that is kind of making me think like I was literally just told this last month. And um, I still haven't done anything. And it's like, what is it gonna take for you to sit your bond down at the computer and finish these dang books that you've been working on for years and you are almost done? Like, what is it gonna take? You know?

Embracing the Tower Moment

SPEAKER_01 27:52

You finish school, you have the education, you know the information, and you still won't put it down on paper.

unknown 27:59

All right.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

In spirituality, they call that a tower moment. Something, something has to happen in order for to shake up things in order for you to make the decision that you need to make.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

You know, um, it happens all the time. We we look at it like it's a bad thing. So sometimes it's protection. Sometimes it's hey, I'm doing this for you. It's God talking to you. I put this roadblock in front of you because I know that you are not gonna do it on your own. So take the message, take some time to relax, gather your thoughts, you know, sit in it, but do not allow it to consume you.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

Process it. You know, because this is where the journey really begins. Because it's like, look, all right, all this bad stuff don't happen. I'm at rock bottom. Shit, ain't nowhere to go but up from here. Keep the positive mentality. We're moving up. This is for my better. It's for my betterment. You know what I'm saying? Better good. Onward and forward, whatever, you know what I'm saying? Upward. Right. Keep it moving. Because now I get to focus on what I want to focus on.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 29:32

Whatever that might be. Start the y start that YouTube channel. Focus on creative, you know what I'm saying, whatever your content. Whatever it might be. To whomever's listening. If you're going through that moment, it happens to all of us. Believe it or not, hell. I've been in a situation where I owned two houses and get you some of this shit. Rented a storage unit and slept in my fucking car. Owned two properties. Sleeping like I'm fucking homeless. It happened. It damn so happened. But I accept that. Because that moment for me propelled me forward. It let me know exactly that hey, you used to have a plan. You stopped following that plan. You stopped making continuancy plans. And that's why you're here right now. So you gotta have that moment of self-reflection. Why am I here? What did I do to deserve this? And a lot of times we answer what's and not whys. I've talked about this before on previous podcasts. If you're answering, if your why did I get here points to anyone other than yourself, that was a what. It was not a why. The whys are with internal, they are within. Why am I so mad? Why did I get myself into this situation? How did I allow this to happen? I allowed this to happen because I allowed other people to come into my life like a damn Trojan horse, install fucking programs that I didn't give them authority to install, and start calling their own fucking plays. That's why I got here. But again, that's where the healing starts. You're at the bottom. You hit rock bottom. Nowhere to go, but up.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

You are on a solid foundation that you can build on. And now you saw, going back to what we just talked about, who we can cut out of our circle because they don't belong to be here because everybody can't go on a journey.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Right.

SPEAKER_03 32:29

Talk to him.

Managing the Transition

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

I mean, um, I think the main thing that I I know what I I I have to focus on too is like the things that I can control. Um, because I look at the things that have happened and I'm like, you know, there's nothing I can really do about those things, you know. And dwelling on it is like, okay, how is that gonna benefit you? You know, it's like you know where the mistake was made, you know what you did wrong, and now you have to like move forward. And I like how you say, you know, yeah, you can dwell on it, you can think about it or process it or whatever, um, not dwell on it, but think about it and meditate on it or whatever like that, but don't stay there, you know. You kind of have to like pick yourself up and to move forward. I think it's important though, for people to realize that you probably do want to at least uh meditate about it and think about it or whatever. You know, don't just like be like, oh, okay, it never happened and then move on, because then it's like, okay, wake up if this happens again, or if you if something, you know, whatever puts you into this position, but it doesn't even have to be the exact same thing. It just be something that takes you off course, then what do you do? You know, you can't just keep pretending that things don't happen, you know. That's why it's um it's interesting when people say like they um they'll get a divorce or you know, leave their spouse or whatever the case, and they're like, oh, I'm just okay or whatever. I'm like, but did you get a chance to grieve that situation? Did you like really clear that situation out first, you know, because that is a real thing. You can't just be like, oh no, I'm just gonna jump from this relationship. I'm good, I'm okay, and then jump into another one. Like, no, you need to like think about it. What went right, what went wrong? What are you gonna do differently? What do you think you need? What did you get from it? What did you learn from it? You know, process, like, yeah, it's technically a loss. You are grieving the death of this thing, even if this person is still alive. Because at the end of the day, that was still a part of your life, you know. Some things in there you did learn from, whether or not it was something like you learned positive. You probably learned, I'm never gonna do this again. I'm never gonna move in this way again, I'm never gonna live this way again. That's still learning, you know. Um, but then again, not just soaking in it and sitting in it and woe is me forever, because that help that doesn't help either, you know. Um, picking yourself up and knowing how to do it. And if you do have that support system, that actually does make the make that easier. Obviously, if you don't have support, then you know, it does kind of make that thing a little bit harder. So if you can find support, get support, um, get help, you know. And um, oh my goodness, it just made me think of something else. Um just recently, on Monday actually, um I had um met up with uh I had an appointment with one of my uh girls, and um she I mean her face was so beautiful, like beautifully done with makeup. Now she's just she's a person that you go to for like printing your body. And um I'm like nobody goes to work like this. Like, I'm sorry. Wearing makeup is one thing, you know, doing your having your face look pretty, you know,

Stepping Through Opened Doors

SPEAKER_01 36:35

there's levels to this. This girl looked like she was going to somebody's ball, like this extravagant wedding or something. I don't even know, but she definitely didn't look like she needed to be with me, like at all. And I'm looking at her and I can't even stop looking at her. I'm just like, yo, your face. I'm like, did you do that? Like, I you must have done that. There's no way I would pay, I would pay hundreds of dollars to get my face to look like that if I wanted to wear makeup. Um, like it's worth it, like what she did to herself. And um, she was like, no, I did it myself. And I was like, I figure because I know you ain't pay no money to get your face done like that. To come here and work on women, you know. Um, she was like, Yeah, no, that's like my other business. I say, your other business. So what are you doing here? And she was like, Well, I mean, this is like my job. And then I was like, again, what are you doing here? You know, I'm like, I I'm looking at you and like you should be like doing makeup for like movies and screens and all that. Like you are, I mean, like this is like top notch. Like, and she's like, she's like, oh, thank you. And I'm like, no, no, seriously. Like I'm not even a makeup fan like that. Like, I think people should just wear regular, regular schmegular, you know, if they're gonna do anything and do something light, you know. That's just me personally. I, you know, and so um I was like, but with your face, whether it looks. I'm like, you need to be somewhere else. I don't know. And she was like just telling me like how she's like been trying to get this business going, and she has all these things, and she wants to teach um how to do makeup like that for people to become those type of artists, where they like are personal artists for like movie stars and all the other stuff like that. And and I'm like, girl. And she was like, she met some lady who owns this huge multimillion dollar like beauty company that's in California, and she had found her or something and took her out somewhere in a mansion party last weekend. And I'm like, okay, again, why are you here? All this stuff you're telling me is not adding up, it's not adding up. And so she's like telling me all these woe is me situations that she's going through. And I'm like, you need to just stop all of that. You know, like it's so crazy. I say, you know, I'm preaching to you, but I'm preaching to myself. I say, when you have gifts and you know that you have these gifts, that's what you're supposed to be doing. God doesn't bless you with gifts so you can be doing somebody else's work. Like, that's not how that works. You're blessed with your gifts for a reason. You're supposed to actually be using those things. And I was like, I'm guilty of it myself. I was like, I can't even tell you the last time I picked up my paintbrush. And um, I was like, I'm not typing and you know, I'm not writing. Like I love to write. I love to write, and I'm not writing, and you know, and um I'm like, heck, I I can't even tell you the last time I've really been at the gym. I've been doing these hocus pocus like workouts. That's not even what I do. Like, I don't even do these type of things. Like, you know, I'm not even moving the way that I'm moving. And I told her, I say, you know, what that does is that just pulls you back. I say, you're being you're being held back. You got this woman out here looking for you, and she a multimillionaire, and she sh she can help you. Like, what are you doing? When that door opens, you don't not take advantage of it and say, Oh, okay, maybe another opportunity. No, you go through that door. Like the door is there for you for a reason. So you go through it, and you you just you just have to make it happen. And I was like, Do you have a circle? And she's like, No, I don't have a circle. All my people are in Atlanta and Georgia and whatever. I said, Oh, why are you here? And she was like, Oh, because you know, Orlando's big for uh like makeup industry and all that stuff, which is true. And uh I was like, Oh, well, yeah, that's true. You can you can do a lot there, you do a lot in in New York and in California. But if you're looking for probably the cheapest place, I would say Orlando.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

Orlando's probably the cheapest because New York is, we all know what New York is.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

I I got a job opportunity in New York, and I was like, absolutely not, because they were gonna be basically putting me in the same position that I am in Orlando, um paying me, I think they was like starting off at um at the at the Bronx Zoo or Brooklyn Zoo, Bronx Zoo, I think it was. And it was talking about starting me off at like 65. And I was like, okay, but your freaking apartment complex is $3,000 a month.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

For one bedroom shoot.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

For one bedroom. I'm not even joking. I was looking at one bedroom apartment. I know. I know. I was like, absolutely not. And I emailed them. I was like, this, I was like, are you gonna compensate me for you know traveling and moving? And they were like, oh, that's not something that we're offering. And I'm like, no. Decline. But yeah, and it's gonna be the same thing in California. I mean, I've been seeing people talk about gas prices at $8 now in California. So, so I know it's not obviously uh if you had to choose between New York, California, and Orlando, I would definitely choose Orlando. Um, but yeah, I told her she needs to be working on that. And I'm it's so funny. I'm thinking about it again, and I'm like, I said, and I told her, I said, you know, I'm talking to you, but I'm preaching to me too. And then I have my situation of like, you you're supposed to be doing the exact same thing.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

You're supposed to be doing the exact same thing. And it's funny how like I feel like, you know, God kind of like tells you, like, hello. I've been telling you, what do I have to do? I'm about to kick you with the butt. What's happening? Because you're not moving.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

That's why they call them tower moments.

SPEAKER_02 43:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:36

You know what I'm saying? That that moment of clarity for you when something just happens out of the blue. Oh, what am I finna do now? Lightning just struck.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Yeah, you know. And um I think too, even looking at that, it's like, yeah, I had a plan, but it's like, okay, you have to start your plan. A little bit earlier than you anticipated. However, it's like you don't have to like really revert, like create a new plan, you know? Um, and and go with that. You know, it's better to like have more plans than to just be like, oh, I'm just gonna just wait until the timeline comes that I was supposed to do on this, because that never happens. I mean, I can't tell you how many timelines I've created for my books. Like, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have it finished by this day. Oh, I'm gonna have it finished by this day. I'm gonna have it finished by this day and the day comes. And it's like, yo, what's happening? Like, I still haven't even finished. I told myself I was gonna have my painting finished before the holidays. Did not happen. And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna have my painting finished before school is out.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

That didn't happen.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

And then I was like, okay, realistically, I will do it. I'll have it finished by the end of the summer. And so I'm like, I'm pushing it back, and it's like, why? Just freaking pick up the paintbrush and finish the painting for goodness sake, you know?

SPEAKER_03 45:16

It's a thought process. It's like the chase with relationship. It's like the thought process of doing it makes me all excited. But actually getting up and doing it. Right. Not not so much. I get that.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

But it's like, um, I know I I think you it's it's actually doing something and knowing that you need to do something, I think it's really important that you if you feel strongly about it at least, that you should be doing that thing. Because something your intuition is, I I believe is 1,000% like of the spirit, and um it knows more than what you in the flesh know, you know?

SPEAKER_04 46:08

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 46:09

You have to listen to it. I can't tell you how many times I've been like, I feel like this is gonna happen, or I feel like I'm supposed to do this, or um, I feel like I have this feeling or whatever, and then I don't go with it, I ignore it, and then next thing you know, it happens like too many times, too many times, and I'm always like, I need to listen to myself. I mean, how many times have we taken a test and we're like, oh, this is a oh no, that's not the right answer. I think it's this answer. I'm gonna erase that answer. And then the first time it was right, it's like, Yep, that was the right way, and I knew it was the right one, but something was like that flesh in me was like, nope. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 46:57

Always go with your first thought, your first mind as we say down south. Go with your first mind. Whatever you were thinking first, go with it.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Go with it, right?

Thriving Under Chaotic Pressure

SPEAKER_03 47:07

It's funny that you say that because I found myself in very similar situations. And what I learned is for whatever strange, odd, peculiar reason, I seem to work better under pressure.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

Oh my god. Yes, amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 47:28

And I got just sitting down and thinking about this shit, right? It's like, why is that? It's because I'm so used to the chaos. I can take it all the way back to childhood. It's been chaotic around me ever since. It's like where sitting still just don't feel natural.

unknown 47:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

That's where sometimes I'd be like, twin, where have you been? I swear. It's so true. It's like you think about every single situation you've literally had to like fight through. You're like, oh, I had a whole bunch of stuff going on during that time. That's why. Like fight and flight. Like, this is what I have to do, and this is when I get stuff done. It's it's so chaotic. It shouldn't even be that way. It should just be like smooth selling. Like, this is what I know I need to do. I'm gonna do it. You know? It's like, why does it have to be so chaotic in order for you to be like, oh, I gotta, I gotta get up and go. I I gotta get moving. Time for me to go.

SPEAKER_03 48:40

Go time. Right. It's like it's an adrenaline rush, you know?

SPEAKER_04 48:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

And it's like the endorphins kick in, and it's like, I gotta have it right now. Let's go get it. You know, so I get that way. So someday, some shit, call it what it is, some moon cycles. Right. I'm energetic as hell. I'm on go. I'm talking, I'm barely sleeping. I might get three, four hours of sleep, and I'm right back up and I'm doing whatever it is I want, I'm getting stuff accomplished. And then there are other times, yeah, I'll get to it when I get to it. I'll start something with the intentions of finishing it, and I'll get to about that 80, 85, 90% solution, and stop. It's unfinished. I can't tell you how many verses that I've written, songs, music, that I've actually beats I produced. Some I've gone all the way through, some I got like a four-bar loop, and I quit. And they fire. Lyric from the lyrics to the beats, they all fire. And I got all the equipment sitting right here. I got the skill sets to make to actually mix and my own stuff. But what's stopping me? Instead, I'll I'll write something, I'll do a half-ass recording, and I'll send it to somebody who's actually professional. Hey, bro, do something with this. And I gave you half-ass work. And I expect you to do something professional with it. I mean, I'm just pointing this back at me, you know what I'm saying? So it's like I know what I do. I know where I could be. Because of because because of the doors and the opportunities that have been placed right in front of me, just like you were talking about.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

But for whatever reasons, I see the opportunity, but won't take it. Wide open, won't take the shot. And as they say, you will miss 100% of every shot that you do not take. You're gonna miss it every time. So going back to what you said, when you are blessed with talent and you're not using it, it's a disservice to yourself, but it's also like slapping God in the face.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

Thank you for giving me this, but I don't want it. No. Right. No. Like so it reminds me, I just got a lot of stuff in the queue. I haven't I haven't released anything, I haven't I've written a few things, but I haven't given them the time, energy, and space that they need to mature. So I too can take that accountability and say, hey, look, collie with you. I'm not gonna blame it on my zodiac sign or Pisces, but you know, I've been known to procrastinate. I'm a big dreamer. But I've also been known to accomplish some big dreams as well.

SPEAKER_00 52:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

You know, so it's just that it's like when you get focused, when you lock in, and then you start to get that tribe around you that supports you to let you know that, hey, I see. I see you. You're not by yourself. We support each other. Got your back. You know, if you ever need me, I'm here for you. You know what I'm saying? And it goes for a lot of people that's in my inner circle. You know what I'm saying? Which is not very big, because I know earlier you were talking about your circle. My shit is a dot, boy. You can take the pencil and drop it. That's my circle. I'm talking like I don't mess with too many people.

SPEAKER_00 52:53

Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_03 52:55

So let them try.

The 1,000-Mile Step Strategy

SPEAKER_01 53:01

I think I um definitely have to like um I think this goes for anybody. It's like when you do uh feel like your plans are failing, it's probably just your time to reset. Um really think about the things that you're actually supposed to be doing. Um and making sure that they are actually aligned. Um not spiraling, grounding yourself, you know. Feel it. Go through it. You need to write it down. I'm a writer. So obviously I write stuff down. I'm not gonna write down everything. But you know, write down um just write down some things that you you feel like you're going through or pray through some things that you feel like you're going through. Come up with how you're gonna move through from point A to point B. Again, reach out to somebody if you feel like you really need to talk to someone. Um and try not to soak into it alone. You know, like I mean, man's not here meant to be here alone anyway. So, like, even if you're even if your, you know, your circle is like mine, I said an eyeball, Unc said a pencil. You know, reach out to your little small circle. Um, and start with realistic plans, not give yourself a whole bunch of things because I am guilty, guilty, guilty of doing that. I always feel like, you know, have very I know that I'm creative and I know there's a lot of things I want to do, and I know there's a lot of things that I can do. It's like, girl, okay, but you don't have to do all that at once. Let's just let's start here, you know, and move from this place to this place. Let's give things dates. Let's give realistic dates, you know. Like, for example, I was thinking I was looking at my um painting. It's literally sitting in the living room. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna realistically give myself not a goal to finish it, but a goal to work on it. And I think that's where I have to start. And so I said I was gonna give myself an hour or two. I got the time. I guess I'm gonna give myself an hour or two. I'm gonna work on it today. I'm gonna actually work on it. Um, um I got my uh paint already ready. I just gotta put it on the um, I use, I I recycle, reuse. So like I just cut up boxes that I have when I get deliveries and stuff, and I'll be using that to put my paint on. Don't judge me. Right.

SPEAKER_03 56:05

It's free.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

Look. Let me tell you. Okay. Um, but yeah, I got that already. I just gotta get me a cup of water because I use acrylic. And I'm just gonna I'm gonna paint. I'm gonna make me something to eat. I'm gonna kind of like relax for a second. And that's the goal. The goal is not something that I feel like it's gonna be hard to do, which is like me saying, Oh, okay, well, you need to finish it by the weekend. That might be hard for me to do, you know. I don't know what tomorrow's gonna feel like for me, you know, or look like for me, you know. So that's what I mean by making your plan simple, not perfect, you know. Just be clear about what the goal actually is, you know. For me, the goal is actually just to work on it. That's it. That's the only, that's the only goal. And I feel like, you know, once you actually get into something too, it's just like going once you start working out, you know, it's like the goal is to go this day, go this day, go this day. But like you don't really start off hardcore, not unless you're a beast like me sometimes when I when I'm in a gym, I just be like, I don't know what happens to me, but I'm that type of person though. So that's probably why. But it probably won't be the same for you or anybody else, whoever's listening. When you go to the gym, it might be hard. And you might be like, oh, I can't do this. Do as much as you can. If you can only do five push-ups, the goal is to do five push-ups. If you can't, if you feel like you can end up doing more, I always tell people don't be too hard and trying to do more. Like, if you feel like you can do seven, do seven. I hate doing plain numbers, but for me, that that's that's a pusher for me to do more. I'd be like, I could if I say I can do five and I end up doing seven, I'm gonna push myself hard to do ten. That's just me. So like, but that's still a goal, you know? And uh it's an achievable goal. So make achievable goals, and I think that you'll you'll you'll pick yourself back up and get back on on track.

SPEAKER_03 58:20

Couldn't agree more. Could not agree more. I think to recap, you know, when things do go awry, plans change suddenly, and you don't understand why, or you just find yourself in that situation where you just have to adapt. You know, uh one of the things that we said is always to adapt and overcome. You know, um, but when it really comes down to it, is it's this right here. Uh just staying on what you're talking about here. Um what I wrote down was the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So, as you were stating, set the goal. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it may be a thousand mile journey, but you gotta take that first step to get to that 1K, right?

SPEAKER_04 59:11

Right.

SPEAKER_03 59:12

So, and then things are you're gonna have obstacles, you're gonna have roadblocks, you're gonna have moments where things just come out of left field. It's gonna happen. It's life. That's what we s that's why we say life be life, right? When those moments happen, don't change the goal, change the plan. It's the small steps to that 1000 that's going to sometimes you can go straight, sometimes you gotta go around things. The thing about it is just do not change the goal. Just continue to move forward, to reach those milestones, those small achievements to get to that final destination, you know? And you can actually make it as long as you believe you can do it, you can achieve it. The only person that can stop you is you.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:01

Right. For sure, for sure. And I would say, um, in closing, on my end, um I think that sometimes we have to also look at the things that we're going through as like like a transition. There's always a transitional point in our lives. You know, we move from child, you know, from an infant to a child, from a child or taller, from taller to a child, from child to a teenager, teenager to young adult, and so on and so forth. So it's like we're transitioning all the time. So if something does not go right with your plan, maybe that plan wasn't what it was meant to be in the first place, you know? That's probably not where you were supposed to be in the first place. Um and yeah, life be lifing. So let's um let's recognize that and and move forward, you know, in your transition.

unknown 1:01:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:08

Move forward in your transition.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:09

Absolutely. Right, all right. That was good. That was good. That was good.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:19

That was cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:20

Message. We'll have to do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:23

Message! Message.

Building the Small Business Tribe

SPEAKER_03 1:01:28

Oh man. All right. Well, that's been another episode of All In One. Thank you for uh stopping by. Hope you guys got something for it from this particular episode. Uh as always, remember to support each other as we support you guys as well. That was the uh, what was that website again for the art?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

The Aria Artistry. The Aurea Artistry.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:04

Put it out there for the people. Put it out there for the people. You know what I'm saying? So, hey, if you guys need art, you really should check out some of her work. She's she's gonna put it on display. On the end of this particular episode, we're actually gonna go ahead and do some thumbnails for her to display some of the art that she's actually has out here. So, you know what I'm saying? We support black businesses and small businesses of all kinds, right? So it's just make sure that we drop this like, you know what I'm saying? Drop a heart, drop a comment for us, just let us know. You know what I'm saying? If anything in the in this podcast today or in this episode stood out to you, drop a link, drop something down in the comments, just let us know that we touched you in some way, shape, form, or fashion. Pause, no homo, no diddy. Stop it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

Oh my god, I cannot. Oh my god. Oh hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:05

Oh my. Until next time. How we do it?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:11

We all in.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:12

We all in one