40. Who Are You When Life Doesn’t Look The Way You Planned?

Nothing is falling apart, but you still feel off. That quiet, constant “something’s not right” can be harder to carry than a clear problem, especially when you’re injured and the routines that normally keep you steady get taken away. I open up about navigating a broken finger, a bruised rib, and a long stretch of uncertainty and why that combo can leave you feeling unsettled in your own life.

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I am happy we can share this journey of leveling up, together. Send me a text by clicking the link at the top of the description. I would love to hear from you :) See you next week! 

- Alita <3 

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This podcast is intended for general educational purposes only. The content discussed does not replace professional medical, nutritional, or fitness advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Individual needs and responses vary, especially with exercise and nutrition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making significant lifestyle changes.

Transcript

Welcome And Podcast Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's up? Welcome back to Vito with Alita. This is a podcast about evidence-based wellness for real life. I'm Alita and I'm here to talk about fitness, health, mindset, and building a strong and sustainable life. But doing so without extremes, guilt, or perfectionism. If you care about your health, but you also want a life that you can actually live, you're definitely in the right place. Now before we jump in, I just want to say thank you for being here. It genuinely means a lot that you choose to spend your time listening. And I don't take that lightly. If you've been enjoying the show, following the podcast really helps it grow and lets me know that you're enjoying what you're listening to. And it will actually help more people find these conversations, which means I can keep bringing you new episodes every single week. Alright, let's get into today's episode. Today's

Injuries And A Strange In Between

SPEAKER_00 1:30

episode is going to be a little more personal and reflective, but it's a great conversation that I would like to have. And that's because lately I have just been dealing with some things. Nothing major, nothing crazy, but just one of those things where the best way I can describe it is nothing is majorly wrong, but nothing is like right either. So I've been dealing with a few injuries. I've mentioned before that I have my broken finger, which is fine. I have been coping and dealing, and I've still been able to do my thing with it. But then of course, for some reason, I the other day fell and hit my rib. I have some nice intercostal bruising. It hurts sometimes to just like breathe or sit for long periods of time. And of course, I've been told to just lay it low for the next minimum week or two. Meaning no physical activity, nothing to kind of exert the pain or exert myself, I should say. Especially if I start heavy breathing, it can be painful. So yeah. And I've also just, especially recently, I've been navigating kind of a long period of uncertainty in my life, and something that I've talked about before. And this is the kind of uncertainty where like you're waiting for answers, waiting for clarity, you know, I'm waiting to know what direction things are gonna go in. And I think when uncertainty lasts for a long time, at least for me, it really starts to weigh on you in ways that are come like difficult to explain. Like nothing is wrong, as I said, but it's just nothing is right. And there's always this thing in the back of my mind. So it's not dramatic, it's just like this constant mental background noise. And like this feeling of just being slightly unsettled all the time. So that sort of background feeling combined with just being injured, needing to take a step back, especially from the routines that normally make me feel very grounded. I think this has forced me into a season that feels very unfamiliar. It's a season that I've always kind of known would happen one day. And what I mean by that is I know that as I get older, as I navigate life, life will present challenges. I know it's not always sunshine and rainbows. And a lot of what I talk about is being able to sustain your healthy habits despite these seasons, being able to get through them. But to be honest, this is one of those seasons I have not experienced before. I've always I've had to slow down and take a step back, and things have happened before, but I don't I think not to this extent. I'm still a very young woman. I know there are still many things that are going to come, whether that's family challenges, children, health challenges, I'm aware. But I think I'm getting a little glimpse of what that's that can potentially look like. And yes, I'm currently in this season where I am kind of slightly settled, all the unsettled all the time, slightly injured, not being able to really ground myself in what I in my routines, things that I normally can control. And I am not really able to rely on structure, habits, or plans that usually make me feel like myself. And I think it's safe to say this is one of those times where I don't feel like myself, really. Myself being I identify somebody who is active, somebody who is structured, somebody who, you know, who is able to build systems in my life that work for me and that allow me to stay consistent and allow me to kind of release that mental stress. And I have a feeling a lot of, or I'm hoping that if you are going through a similar season, or if you have gone through a similar season, or even if you haven't, this is something I would like to share because you know, life is inevitable, it's going to happen. And there's always this pressure that, like, constantly, no matter what, you gotta show up, perform, be the best. And that's not always the case. Now, personally, I think a lot of us build identities around our productivity, our routines, our progress, our achievement. And in general, these are great, especially if you are able to sustain them and you are in a place where you can actually build around these identities. And we don't really notice how attached we are to those things until they're completely disrupted. For me, movement and structure have always been a huge part of how I take care of myself, and they are literally part of my self-identity. Ask anyone who knows me, I am somebody who is routine and structure and systems and movement. That's literally the definition of Alita. And so being injured, needing to slow down, it has been a little bit mentally harder than I expected, and not just physically frustrating, but even emotionally disorienting too, because when the habits and routines that usually ground you suddenly change, you're just forced to sit with yourself in a different way. And I think that it can bring up a lot, especially I have just been in my house for long periods of time with my thoughts. Sometimes those are great, and you should have those moments of self-reflection, but there are points where you kind of need to put the brakes on it. And this is where I share, of course, our word of the week. Dysphoria. D-Y-S-P-H-O-R-I-A. And dysphoria refers to a state of unease or dissatisfaction or emotional discomfort. And this is one of the best words I can use to describe this period I'm in, this long period of uncertainty and this period of just not feeling like myself. And it's not necessarily extreme sadness. Nothing, again, is wrong. Just like this lingering discomfort. Something feels slightly off. Like I am, like I'm disconnected from the version of myself that I'm so used to being, that I've built, that I am very proud of being. And I think we can experience dysphoria in multiple situations. For example, if your routines change, or if your body changes, you know, even let's say you're on a certain type of medication or something and it causes a change in your body. If your plans change, you were planning or working towards something and it's not going as planned, or if life stops kind of looking the way that you may have expected.

Why Uncertainty Feels So Stressful

SPEAKER_00 8:46

So now I'd kind of like to touch upon the science of uncertainty. What's interesting is that uncertainty itself is actually psychologically stressful. Research on something called intolerance of uncertainty shows that humans naturally struggle when outcomes feel unclear or unresolved. Our brains want certainty. We want timelines. We want guarantees. We want to know things are working out and think about it. This is why you overthink things. This is why you think of every possible scenario. This is because you just kind of want to be sure or prepared that no matter what, like you're certain of the outcome. And when we don't have those answers, it can create this constant low-level stress response. And I think that's something people maybe we don't realize. Sometimes the hardest part isn't even the outcome itself. It's just like the waiting, the not knowing, the feeling that your life is in this temporary in-between state for longer than you expected. And ironically, the thing is, time is passing anyway. And in the grand scheme of things, this period of uncertainty probably is not going to mean much. But in the moment, and I'm feeling this right now, it can feel like a lot. It's just like, okay, like what am I supposed to be doing right now? And I'm talking as somebody who is waiting for answers, for clarity on next steps. For somebody who likes to plan, this is just not the ideal situation to be in right now.

Comparison Spirals And Social Media

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Now, being in my house, sitting with my thoughts, one thing I've also noticed is that the comparison becomes so much louder during these uncertain periods. And I mean comparison with the people around you, with things you're seeing on social media. And when your own life feels uncertain, it becomes really easy to believe that everybody else is moving forward way more confidently than you are, and you're just stuck here. I'm seeing people around me going, like, you know, accelerating their careers, reaching their goals, improving, doing this, that, and the other. And it feels like I'm just sitting here stuck, I can't even move, I can't do this, I can't do that. Comparison is just becoming so much louder because you're not busying your mind, you know, being working on yourself for towards your goals and stuff. And I'm not even gonna lie, I did get Instagram for the podcast to kind of help perpetuate the message that I want to send to reach more people, but it has taken a toll on me in the sense that now I have this tool on my phone that has just taken over my life sometimes. And what I mean by that is like the constant doom scrolling, like, and I know I don't want to, but it's addictive and it's there, and it's reminding me of why I deleted social media in the first place, to a point where I have to really reconsider how I'm going to navigate it and if it's something I truly want to keep. And I bring this up because it's been it's been emphasizing this comparison that I'm discussing right now. Whether if it's not the people directly in your vicinity, you have access to people who are progressing, people achieving things, entering new chapters, or people who are looking certain of themselves, who are achieving all of their dreams. And you hear, or I'm here, feeling paused or feeling behind, feeling unsure, and it's just not helping. And social media definitely intensifies this feeling because most people are not posting their uncertainty, and we are having this exposure to so many people all in one place, you know, and we're seeing the outcome, the achievement, the polished version, and not the waiting season behind it, not how long it took. Some people do share that, yes, but it's hard to kind of filter out the noise sometimes, especially when you're not in the best state of mind.

When Routines Become Self Worth

SPEAKER_00 13:00

I've also realized how easy it is to attach your worth to your routines. For example, when somebody, like, for example, asks you what's the perfect day in your life look like, sometimes when I ask myself this question, sometimes the answer is is very boring in the sense that I did everything on my to-do list, I perfectly followed my routine. To have a good day means that everything went according to plan, and I did everything I told myself I was gonna do, and it's very tied to the routine that I kind of set for myself in my head. So confusing our routines with self-worth means we're feeling good when we're productive, when we eat well, when we're training consistently. We had a really good training session, we checked things off, and when those things disappear, you suddenly feel disconnected from yourself. But I think there's an important distinction here. Something I am still learning to grasp, and something I have been telling myself over these past few weeks is that your routines are meant to support you. Yes, and there's systems that are meant to support you and support the goals that you have for yourself, but they are not you. So your worth is not dependent on how productive you were that day, whether you got your workout in, or whether life is currently going according to plan. And honestly, I think a lot of high-achieving people struggle with this quietly. High achievers do like your identity is literally, yes, I'm able to get things done. And separating that identity or like that ability with your self-worth is very important for sustainability. It's important for navigating these periods, these times in our life when you are maybe not able to get things done, when things are just not going according to your plan. And this is why routines and systems should be flexible, because it just depends on where you're at in your life in that moment. It can be confusing, it sometimes confuses me. You know, build systems so that you can stick to your goals no matter what happens. I agree. But also, these systems cannot be concrete and these routines cannot be like do or die. If you don't do them, then the world ends. They have to be flexible in the sense that they are accounting for changed circumstances, they are accounting for things not going as planned, and that's something I think that I have to maybe navigate a little bit more, come up with some sort of way to practically do this, because in theory it sounds good, but it's very hard to apply. It's hard to apply in my own life, it's something that I am struggling currently with. And this is where I talk a lot about mindset shift.

Health Does Not Always Look Healthy

SPEAKER_00 16:11

The mindset shift here that I think we need to encourage is that health doesn't always have to look healthy. So one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is sometimes how narrow our image of health can become. Health is associated with discipline, consistency, routines, optimization. Yes, in a certain time or season of your life, but sometimes health looks very different. Right now, for me, currently, health looks like resting. It looks like slowing down. It looks like adapting to what I am able to, listening to my body. Like, am I able to even take a deep breath at the moment because my rib hurts? Grieving change. It looks like asking for help when needed, or just simply trying your best during a difficult season. And I think those versions of health deserve just as much respect. And I'm not saying now, oh, ditch, all the discipline, consistency, routines, all those things, and just slow down and take it easy, and that's health. But it is about being aware of the situation that you're in, not lying to yourself, and not just pushing through just because now you don't think you are being healthy or disciplined or whatever you've told yourself being healthy is. Both of these can be true at the same time. And I think true health and true sustainable healthy living comes from embracing the both of these, all of these, everything any season, anything that comes your way. So

Stress And Injury Recovery Connection

SPEAKER_00 17:55

now looking, going back to this conversation about stress and the impact it has on the body. Something that's really interesting and that is not new, I think we all know this subconsciously, is that stress and injury are actually deeply connected. So research has shown that higher stress levels are actually associated with greater injury vulnerability and more difficulty during recovery. And that highlights something very important. Our mental and physical health are never completely separate. The pressure we carry emotionally will eventually it affect us physically too. So this is just a reminder to take the time to rest when needed. This is a reminder to understand that adding unnecessary background stress to yourself because you're not following a perfect plan, perfect routine, is sometimes doing more harm than good. And I this is ironic because I think about this and I'm like, oh my god, I need to rest, or else I'm not gonna heal. And it's like this cycle of where you're stressing yourself out. So I get it, I do. I'm not here to say that you're doing something wrong. I'm literally sitting here going through that cycle at the moment.

Small Anchors For Hard Seasons

SPEAKER_00 19:22

So I have a few things that are helping me right now. Obviously, I don't have it all figured out, but there are a few things that I have been doing that have been helping me navigate the season a little bit better. So, one, that's keeping small anchors in my day. Even if my normal routines have changed, I am still trying to do things. So looking at what I can't control. So this looks like regular meals as much as possible. Sleep. Sleep has been hard sometimes because sometimes pain is a factor, and I am not able to get a good night's rest. Even lately, my heart rate has been elevated more than usual because I am, you know, my body is under stress and is trying to heal, but doing what I can to kind of help my sleep. I am as much as I can going on walks, and this is not a brisk walk trying to burn calorie walk. This is literally, I'm just getting fresh air and stretching my legs and helping my blood sort of circulate in my body. And even small moments of structure. So I still write in my agenda what I want to do that day. I am still checking things off my to-do list, even if the to-do list is shower, that's being checked off just because it's giving me that structure. So nothing perfect, just some sort of stability. The second thing I'm doing is trying to reduce comparison. I've had to become much more aware of how certain content makes me feel. Not even certain content, just the entire Instagram app has been deleted off my phone. Because when you already feel uncertain, constant comparison makes everything just feel heavier. And I know it's ironic. I say follow me on Instagram, then I'm telling you I deleted my Instagram app. I think all of these things are tools, right? And tools could be used to our advantage, tools can be used to gather information for pleasure, for connecting, whatever you want the tool to be used for. As long as you have control over the tool and it does not have control over you. I have just found myself in this period having found like I just find that Instagram is having control over me. And I've made the executive decision that that's not good. So currently, Instagram has been deleted from my phone until further notice, and I have only been accessing it if I need to via my desktop. And for me, that's like work where I'm setting a timer and I'm working. So kind of is what it is. Until then. Until maybe I get back into my routine, we'll see how it goes. But for now, that's what I need to do for my mental health. Now, three, letting my identity expand. And this is probably the hardest one. But this includes learning that I am still myself, even if I'm not operating at full capacity. So even when I'm resting or waiting, even when things are unclear and I don't have a perfect plan, I am still Alita, I am still myself, and it doesn't change who I am. All of these things encompass who Alita is and actually just will make me greater on the other side when I am able to operate at full capacity. So what do I want us to take away from this?

Moving Through Seasons Without Abandoning Yourself

SPEAKER_00 22:49

I think one of the hardest parts of adulthood is realizing that life will always have seasons where things feel uncertain. Where you're waiting, you're healing, you're transitioning into a new chapter, you've decided to completely rebuild your life. And the goal is not to avoid those seasons. I actually think they are very necessary. And the building and the improving comes from those seasons. The goal is to actually learn how to move through them without abandoning yourself in the process. If this episode resonated with you, I'd really appreciate it if you'd follow the show. And we'll see you on the next one. Bye-bye. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I really appreciate you being here. If something in the episode clicked for you, send it to a friend. Or you can reach out to me directly using the link in the description. I genuinely love hearing from you. And if you want more evidence-based wellness, you can connect with me via my Instagram. Again, that link will be in the description below. Take care of yourself this week, and I'll talk to you soon. See you on the next one. Bye bye.