Ep. 7 The Stern Truth: Business Therapy Thursday with Pauly Barker

In this special bonus episode, I sit down with Pauly Barker. Pauly is a talented marketing strategist who's struggled with the all-too-common entrepreneurial challenge – doing everything herself. Through our candid conversation, I helped her reconnect with her "why".  We uncover the blind spots preventing her from building a business that truly serves her life. 

I walk Pauly through exercises to identify energy-draining activities, create an outsourcing plan, and prepare her to transition from solopreneur to mature business owner. We tackle the common fear holding many entrepreneurs back: "I'll outsource when I have more revenue". This is a circular trap that keeps business founders working 10-hour days and missing valuable family time. 

If you’re a small business owner ready to stop being the player and start being the coach of your company, you will want to tune in to this episode.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Marshall Stern: Well, today's session is actually an extra session. It's a bonus session. It's what we're calling business therapy a sit down with Pauly, who's an amazing marketing strategist. But what we do in this session is we help her reconnect to her why and help her uncover some of the blind spots that's been holding her back from building the business that serves her life and serves her.

[00:00:24] I think you'll really enjoy this and get some really big insight moments for you and takeaways. Enjoy.

[00:00:35] Hi, I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years in leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows.

[00:00:54] I've been there, and I get it. This podcast is here to change that. Every week I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugarcoated. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place. This is the Stern Truth.

[00:01:17] Hi Pauly. How are you? 

[00:01:24] Pauly Barker: I'm doing good. How are you, Marshall? 

[00:01:26] Marshall Stern: I'm doing well. I believe it's going to be sunny today, which being here on the West Coast, whenever it's sunny, it's a good day. 

[00:01:35] Marshall Stern: But you're not, where am I finding you from? 

[00:01:39] Pauly Barker: I'm in North Carolina, so we have a lot of sun.

[00:01:42] Marshall Stern: Oh, nice. Hashtag jealous. We have a lot of rain, but we don't get the snow like the rest of - Vancouver, West Coast. 

[00:01:51] Pauly Barker: Okay, okay. Yeah. 

[00:01:53] Marshall Stern: So, first of all, thank you for meeting with me today. What I'm curious, I mean, I want to learn all about you and your business and everything, but what would make today's conversation really, really helpful for you?

[00:02:11] Pauly Barker: I think it would be really helpful to get really good clarity on when is a good time to transition from doing everything in your business really stepping up and being that business owner and kind of leading a team and hiring on a team. 

[00:02:31] Marshall Stern: Okay. Okay. I like that. Maybe, just for context, maybe can you tell me a little bit about your business?

[00:02:38] How long have you been in business, what you do? 

[00:02:41] Pauly Barker: Yeah, so I've been in business since 20. It was end of 2020. And I started as an ads agency. So I was running ads for businesses doing copywriting and funnel work. Then I realized that first I was burning out because I, I have done everything myself in my business the whole entire time.

[00:03:02] I've never outsourced anything, and I was starting to burn out of running multiple accounts, doing all of the copywriting, doing a lot of funnel work. And I decided the number one piece in what I do is messaging. If your messaging is not correct, it doesn't matter. You could run all the ads in the world and they're not going to hit properly.

[00:03:22] So I decided that I would coach on messaging, transition to coaching, and then, basically teach a man to fish. I wanted them to know how to do their own messaging so when they were ready to scale with ads, we wouldn't have to backtrack and fix the messaging. But then coaching goes along with a lot more other things, like a lot of content.

[00:03:44] So I was hitting burnout again. I had just had a baby. And basically, I hit a wall where I realized I've just created another job for myself. I just have a full-time job. And now it's an even harder one because I'm sales. I am, finance, I'm like all of the departments. And that's not what I wanted.

[00:04:06] I started this so I would have more time, especially being a mom now, more time with my family. And I work on average, I would say about 10 hours a day. And I want to transition out of. Being the operator of every piece of my business to really learning how do I become a mature business owner and start learning how to lead a team, start learning how to outsource things, and trusting right, that the revenue that goes down a little bit without outsourcing is going to be made back in time and insanity.

[00:04:41] And then all the other things. 

[00:04:44] Marshall Stern: Wow. Okay. So much to talk about here. First of all, you're definitely not alone, whether helps or not, it's, it's something I see way, way too often too frequently with people who transition from, let's say, a career into their own business. They take a skillset and then they're going to open up their own shop.

[00:05:10] It's like the E-Myth. I don't know if, did you ever read the E-Myth? 

[00:05:13] Pauly Barker: Uh-uh. 

[00:05:14] Marshall Stern: Highly recommend that. So it is all about, like, it's the baker opens up her own – the pie baker opens up her own pie shop and now she basically is working for the psycho boss who doesn't, who has her working 10, 12, 14 hours a day, no vacation, making less money.

[00:05:33] You know, you go into business for freedom. Freedom of time, freedom of finances, and yet there a lot of people that get stuck in what we call being the player, not the coach. Where have you heard that before? So, but the one thing is, you know, you have the awareness, which is, I guess you would say the first step.

[00:05:59] If there was a step, you do have that awareness that you want to be the coach. You want to be the leader, or what'd you say you want to be mature? How'd you put it? Mature. Be business owner, mature business owner. What's that look like? What does that look like for you? 

[00:06:18] Pauly Barker: So, for me, that would be letting go of the reins a little bit.

[00:06:23] In my twenties, I was a completely different mindset. I didn't have kids. I was like, no, I want to do it all myself. I can do it the best. I want to learn how to do everything. So eventually I could teach people, but I had a lot of, like, I thought it was all really fun, which it is. I didn't want someone else to do it.

[00:06:43] Now that has shifted, like I really rather be eating out with my family or making dinner with them or going on a walk with my daughter or going to the gym and exercising. Like, I really value my time way more than I did when I was 20 something. I have learned that it is the only resource that isn't renewable at all.

[00:07:06] So I guess just that shift in different values. Learning that time is really like the number one thing that I want to safeguard, not my SOPs and my processes. And like even the fun designing stuff, I'm okay with outsourcing. I want to lead a team. And I think that in itself is a step in maturity and that I just need to go the rest of the way where I actually do it.

[00:07:31] Right. I actually hire the team and learn how to lead them in the best way that I can. 

[00:07:37] Marshall Stern: Okay. I like that. I love that actually. Okay, so if you could, let's play a game. Are you, do you like to play games? 

[00:07:44] Pauly Barker: I love to play games. 

[00:07:45] Marshall Stern: Okay. Okay. Let's play a game. Now you said you're in North Carolina? 

[00:07:50] Pauly Barker: Yep. 

[00:07:51] Marshall Stern: So are you like near Charlotte?

[00:07:53] That's like, that's the only city area. 

[00:07:56] Pauly Barker: Yeah, that's the one most people know. I'm about an hour away from there. 

[00:08:00] Marshall Stern: Okay. I was in Charlotte once before. Beautiful city, beautiful area. So let's just say I'm, I'm there. We bump into each other on the street. In front of Starbucks and it's three years from now.

[00:08:16] Three years in the future. It's three years since we've spoken since this session. So how would you, how many kids do you have right now? 

[00:08:26] Pauly Barker: One. 

[00:08:27] Marshall Stern: You have one? How old is she? Your daughter? How old is she? 

[00:08:29] Pauly Barker: She's two years old. 

[00:08:31] Marshall Stern: Okay, so she's now five. Can you believe it? I know. 

[00:08:37] Pauly Barker: It goes by so fast by so fast. 

[00:08:39] Marshall Stern: Do you know what? It does.

[00:08:40] I know it, it does. Trust me, I have a 22-year-old and 20-year-old. I remember when they were like little and it's, yeah, it goes fast. It's slow for a while, then all of a sudden it's fast. You blink in, it's done. Okay, so she's five bump into each other in three years, and I say, hey, Pauly. Hey, long time, it's been a few years.

[00:09:03] How are you doing? And you're like, you always have tears in your eyes, because you're so happy and fulfilled and you say, hey Marshall, it's been, it's great seeing you. Yeah. It's been like three years since we last chatted. Hey, there's a Starbucks, let's grab a coffee. because I want to talk to you and I want to tell you how amazing everything is.

[00:09:24] Your daughter's five. What's going on in your business? What are you telling me? 

[00:09:29] Pauly Barker: So the first part is if she's five, my head instantly goes to, I have more time because now she's in school. I would say that I have a team, I have a right hand that really is a hundred percent bought into the vision. She sees the same vision I do.

[00:09:50] She's helping do the pieces that are essential to the vision. I'm super creative but I'm not that great at like, okay, but we actually have to do the boring parts to get to the vision. So she's that side where she's like, okay, yes, I love the idea. Let's chunk it down. She helps me really stay on track.

[00:10:10] And then we have a team of really dedicated people. They love the vision of the company, they love their role, they love working for us because we're all like a really close family unit. Customer care is amazing. We have recurring revenue. Everything's like systematic to how we get more clients, how we get them the best success, how they feel the most supported.

[00:10:36] We're able to go on vacations. My business can run without me, and that is what I would say. 

[00:10:43] Marshall Stern: So what do you do during, what do you do? Remember, we're in present day, or sorry, future day. So what are you doing with your time, like during the day, average day? What are you doing? 

[00:10:53] Pauly Barker: We have a team meeting where we kind of figure out what is the direction for the week, what is the goal and what are we doing to get there.

[00:11:01] Everyone brings any challenges or any accounts that they're kind of stuck in or, or that could use some extra help. And yeah, I help kind of guide and move things along. If anything needs extra attention, I'll take a look at it and sit with account manager. And then from there, I am kind of leading the future of the company.

[00:11:22] So we have a calendar that's booked out a year in advance, so we know what marketing events we're going to do, what in-person events we're going to do for clients. I've started the coaching backup, so figuring out, that side of the content as well. So basically just managing the higher level vision and not like I was three years ago doing all of the pieces of making everything right.

[00:11:48] Marshall Stern: you're not, you're, you're, you are the coach. In, in more ways than you are the coach. You're not the player. Your coach is not the player. So back to present day. because the next step is to figuring out, obviously we're not going to do it all today in this session, but figuring out how to get from being the player, wearing all the hats to that coach, that leader, because that's what the coach is.

[00:12:16] The coach is the leader, right? They're the leader. They're the mature, as you call it, mature business owner but you used another word talking about your future business and you used the word company. we have this company, and I think it's a really important word for a lot of people to hear because we talk about owning a business.

[00:12:42] There are, I don't even know what the numbers are in the U.S., how many people own businesses if I, and, and there's nothing wrong with it. But if I Make candles as a hobby and sell them to craft shows, you know? And I'm working like six hours a week, I have a business. But is that a company? So when you talk about company, what landed for me, it's a company.

[00:13:07] An organization is something bigger. 

[00:13:10] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[00:13:11] Marshall Stern: A company means you have people, whether you, now it doesn't have to be necessarily employees, it could be all subs that you work with, people on your team. That's a company that's probably more the mature business owner or as a company and not just a business.

[00:13:29] Right? 

[00:13:31] Pauly Barker: Yes. And it's funny, it actually, like when we were talking in the future, I felt my shoulders go back and I'm like talking as that person. And then you're like, we're going back to the present. Okay. Or back being the glad. So it definitely feels very different. 

[00:13:45] Marshall Stern: Yeah. So I want you to keep that feeling and I'm glad you caught.

[00:13:50] Because I want to talk about the present. I want to talk about the now. Okay. The shoulders forward slumped down a bit. You what, what's the feeling you have? 

[00:14:03] Pauly Barker: I think it's heaviness. It's heavy, shouldering everything. And then I, like, I stopped working yesterday around 8:00 PM and I walk back to my house and the baby's crying.

[00:14:15] My husband's making dinner. He's frustrated. The dogs are barking. Like, it all just feels so heavy. And I know it's the season. But I think that's the shoulder slumped, is that I don't really want to do it anymore. I want to transition out of it. And it's just a heavy feeling. 

[00:14:31] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Like, here's a question for you.

[00:14:37] So how do you get through the days? Because I know it, it's like I said, you know, in episode one of our podcast of the Stern Truth, I talk about how it's hard, right? Being a business owner is hard, like it is. That can also be really rewarding. How do you, I mean, 10 hour days and you have a little girl and you have your husband and did you say you have a dog?

[00:15:09] So you have a lot going on, and then there's you, which we always, you know, a little bit of backseat. I know you did mention, but going to the gym or whatever. So hopefully you do take time. I don't know when, I don't know. How do you take time for yourself somehow? Somewhere? 

[00:15:27] Pauly Barker: I try to. 

[00:15:28] Marshall Stern: Okay. That’s good. But how do you, so how do you get through the days? 

[00:15:34] Pauly Barker: I lately have been doing this a lot. I try to find things that I am excited about, and I'll tell myself, okay, if you do this, boring, QuickBooks, getting everything sorted, or check all the ad accounts and put everything into the documents.

[00:15:52] Then you get to work on your website for an hour or two. because that's the fun part. So I try to give myself little rewards throughout the day. 

[00:16:00] Marshall Stern: Okay. Okay. That's good. Okay. Why did you start your business? 

[00:16:07] Pauly Barker: Why? 

[00:16:08] Marshall Stern: Why? Yeah. 

[00:16:10] Pauly Barker: I was working for a really big manufacturing company and I was in charge of a software in all of the America's plants for six plants.

[00:16:20] And I was traveling all the time and I was really good at what I did, but it was very behind the scenes like software, and programming and use cases. And I really missed my creativity since I was in business school. I remember I went to a writing class and I was so excited because writing is my thing.

[00:16:43] They said, okay, now take what you wrote. They had us write a paragraph and take out all of the adjectives and all of the description. I wanted to cry. And they were like, this is how you have to write from now on. So from the age of like, I think I was 17 and a half when I started college, uh, they taught us that all creativity was out the window from here on out and super creative.

[00:17:08] So that's why I wanted to be creative. I wanted to help like a mom and dad make money and change their lives instead of helping a gigantic corporation make more billions. 

[00:17:23] Marshall Stern: I felt, you know, I felt that, you know, one, one of the things with my clients, I really helped them, if they don't have it already, is really get clear on their why.

[00:17:35] And, and you know, a mentor said to me years ago, your why needs to make you cry. And, you know, maybe not physically cry, but it's the motions. And in business I think too much. We're just, we're just thinking too logically and not enough with emotion. I felt that when you said that about the mom and dad business, the small business, helping them make money.

[00:18:03] And that's powerful. That's powerful. because it really, when you are clear, when you get really clear on your why and, and, and even having a why statement, and just it's not the why statement or your why is not posted on your website and it's not on the wall and big vinyl lettering, you know, big mantra or whatever for everyone to see.

[00:18:23] It's for you, it's your home base. Going back to the baseball analogy, it's the home base. It's where you end up. It's where you always come back to. It's the why, because there's going to be those days. Your daughter's crying. Your daughter's, you know, as she gets older and you think things are great, she's at school, but now she's got, she's sick, so she's got to stay home for a few days and now you're back and she's not feeling well.

[00:18:51] You got to take care of her. And you got the dogs and you got this and your husband and your life. And it just, it can be a lot. Right? And then you have customers, like clients, you have to Oh yeah. Forget about the clients. You got the clients you got to take care of, right? Like what? 

[00:19:08] Pauly Barker: Yeah 

[00:19:09] Marshall Stern: What a concept. Clients. You got to do the client work. And then you have clients who are ghosting you or prospects ghosting you or clients who are like leaving because they're not seeing, you know, in, in, in your industry. Like people want results and they're not seeing results. So I'm leaving and then you have a client leave and then all this stuff.

[00:19:28] But when you get really, it's hard. So I'm not trying to scare you or anyone away, but it's the realization. And I know I can't scare you away. It's just getting clear on the why, because that's – I believe that's what helps you get, will help you get through the days. Because you know there's a purpose to what you're doing.

[00:19:52] Pauly Barker: Yeah. And I feel like that's one of the most honest whys. I've been in a lot of different coaching masterminds and all the things, and we always do like, what's your why statement? And I honestly, I feel a little guilty because I feel like it should have something to do with my daughter. And it does, you know, of course it's to get my family, have more time with them and have opportunities for her and all those things.

[00:20:18] But you ask me why did I start my business? I didn't have kids. So that is like the bare bones, honest why, that I haven't touched in a really long time. I always just say like, oh well my daughter at my business and what it really was to help. Little businesses like transform their lives. There isn't anything bigger than that.

[00:20:41] Marshall Stern: I love that. And, Pauly, you know, the thing about family, okay, so quick story. I mean, I searched before I started my coaching business. So I had my signed company, I had it at that point for like, I have to do the math. 20 years, no, 17 years or something at the time before I started coaching.

[00:21:04] But I was, I'd built a good company, but something was missing. And that's when, like, back in like 2010, 2011, find your passion. That was the big thing. And there was actually a book called the Passion Test. And there was everyone's – what's your passion? You gotta live your passion, you gotta do your passion, whatever.

[00:21:25] So I searched for it a few years. I read the book, I did the program, tried to find my passion. And at end of the day, my passion is my family, right. So that was really hard for me because I'm not going to monetize my family. I got to make, you know, I mean there's this business, but it's my passion in my family.

[00:21:47] The whole point was to find your passion and, and that should be your business. That should be your career. And then it dawned on me that your business doesn't have to be your passion. Your why needs to be tied to yes, the family. But the problem with that, if it's just strictly about the family, like, oh, I want to build a business that can support my family and, and my daughter can have everything that I didn't have growing up or whatever it is, right?

[00:22:20] All the things, it's hard. It's hard to maintain that motivation and that momentum when that's the why. Because there's disconnect. There's the clients and you can only do, and everyone's motivated by different things. It's hard because that's the end of the light at the end of the tunnel. That's the outcome you want.

[00:22:41] You want to have this, this, these results for your family. But it's the process that the why is really important because that's getting up every single day and knowing that you're serving your clients, you're making a difference with your clients. You have a why as a mom as well, and probably as a wife.

[00:23:02] Like there's something deeper in there for you. So you know what I mean by that? Like it's, we never lose sight of her family and in the end, all of this, the business to everything, the family will benefit. But I believe it needs to be really, really personal for you. So going back to what, why you started the business.

[00:23:28] Because a lot of us forget and really getting clear on that and having that written down just for yourself. Just knowing it or just having it in, in your heart and in your head, that will help you get you through certain days that are really, really hard. 

[00:23:44] Pauly Barker: Yeah, and I think that makes a lot of sense. When I did try to have a why that I should have, it's like, it's for my family, for my daughter.

[00:23:56] It is true, but it was disconnected because day to day, you know, like you said, it's about the journey. If I focus more on my personal why before I had kids or husband, it was to help people. And that why I can reach every day. How am I helping this client have a better business every single day, like a daily why?

[00:24:20] And then of course there's different whys. So I like that to break down the whys into different pieces. 

[00:24:25] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Okay. So you have a little more clarity on the why. We talked a little bit about the what, so I, I'm all about the why and the what. So we talked a little bit about the what, that's the three years.

[00:24:38] So the why really is your kind of your mission and then the, what is the vision, the what's you want to build, three years, four years, five years. I like a two-to-three-year window. I work in chunks that way. I mean, you can have a bigger what, like a five, a 10 year or 20 year, which I think is actually crazy, but if you want to have that go for it.

[00:24:59] Right. You just, again, we talked about like disconnect. I think there's too much disconnect. Like we just, so much can change personally and economically. Professionally, the world. Everything changes like in, in the marketing space. So much changes, technology changes. Okay. So going back to what you mentioned at the beginning about when to outsource, about working 10 hours a day, what can we do today?

[00:25:32] So, you know, you talked about those that are not watching, those are listening. They can see the shoulders back in three years and then now hunched over and, exhausted. What can we do today? If you look at everything that's on your plate today, what can we take off your plate today that maybe the shoulders are okay.

[00:26:01] A little bit more, a little bit more stray, A little bit more? Okay. Here, let's go.

[00:26:08] Pauly Barker: Yeah. When he said that instead he took a deep breath and got like, nervous, like sweaty palms and everything, instantly nervous. What could we do today? I really do not know. I maybe I. Automation. I can automate more of it, but that would be me making the automations. 

[00:26:37] Marshall Stern: Right. So automation would give you back a little bit more time?

[00:26:43] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[00:26:45] Marshall Stern: Okay. Do you, I'm, I'm curious, I didn't ask you to do this. Do you have a pad of paper there by any chance? Yeah.

[00:26:52] Okay. We're going to do a real live exercise here. Okay. So on the, on the pad of paper, I want you to draw a vertical line down the center of the paper. So divide it into half. On the left side, I want you to right energizes and the right side drains.

[00:27:22] Now you can do this, you know, for the sake of time you can finish this afterwards and work on it because it's ongoing. But this is called the Energy Audit the Business Energy Reset. Okay? We're going to get you back some more time and some more energy and more getting back into that passion for the business so you're not drained all the time.

[00:27:44] And now I want you to know this. So this is really, really important. This is a process. This is something we're going to work on and it's going to take time, but there's going to be some things you can do starting today that's like, oh my God, I could do that. Okay? But again, it's the process. This is how you build.

[00:28:11] Marshall Stern: This is how you build a company. This is how you become, as you call it, the mature business owner. And the coach, not the player. Okay? So everything you do a daily basis, Pauly, everything. You work from home, right? Your office is at home. 

[00:28:35] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[00:28:37] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Everything you do on a daily basis, home business, doesn't matter.

[00:28:42] All of it. I want you to put it on one side or the other. This could get uncomfortable so you don't have to read it out, all of it or whatever, but, and you can work on this and we can work on it in the future, but does it energize you or drain you? So all the activities for the sake of time will run through it and, you could start to put some, I want you to put some down because I want you to get some of them off your plate now.

[00:29:07] Everything. What are the activities you do during the day? And if they don't drain you put it on the energizer side for now. It might not be, oh my God, I love doing this, but if it doesn't drain you, it's like, yeah, that's fine. Just put it on the energized side. But it's the ones that drains you. Put it on that drain side first.

[00:29:26] We're going to do activities. So it could be anything business related, scrolling show, social media, like personally, scrolling social media might drain people, right? Because they, they just, it drains them because they see all this, whatever it is, watching the news, doing laundry. Just be real. This is just you and me, just everything that drains you.

[00:29:52] Activities, doing your own books, like the financial side of it, I don’t know.

[00:30:03] And if things pop up, same thing on, we're going to go on the energized side. And this is an exercise I want you to work on after our session as well. Continue to work on it. But just maybe right now the, the drains as much as you can come up with them and especially the business-related ones. 

[00:30:22] Pauly Barker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:30:24] Marshall Stern: Are there some that are coming up for you right now that the drains?

[00:30:27] Pauly Barker: Yeah, I have. 

[00:30:30] Marshall Stern: Okay. Right. Okay. Okay. Do you want to mention some of them? 

[00:30:34] Pauly Barker: Yeah. So the draining is breakfast with the TV on, scrolling social media, which for me is networking, just like going through and connecting with people. 

[00:30:45] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. These are, this is what drains you. 

[00:30:48] Pauly Barker: These are drain. 

[00:30:49] Marshall Stern: Good. Good.

[00:30:50] Okay. Continue. 

[00:30:52] Pauly Barker: QuickBooks, funnel work, automations. Email marketing is a big one. I avoid it. A lot of these I avoid even though they don't take that long because they're so draining. And then energizing is playing with Georgia, being outside, doing laundry. You actually love doing laundry. Yeah.

[00:31:13] And anything like design, like designing my own website is fun. 

[00:31:21] Marshall Stern: Okay. So the funnels, the email marking you're talking about, like for clients is like you, you free to do it for yourself and for clients. Drains you. Yeah. That's drains you. Okay. Alright, so the next step in this exercise, okay, and we're going to focus on the first one now, but I want you can do this afterwards.

[00:31:42] The next step in the exercise is people that energizes you or drains you. Okay. So you can make a note, you can work on that one after.

[00:31:57] Okay. And it might not necessarily be just like people by names, but it could be like characteristics of people. And this is really important for future clients and also building your company. So things like, arrogant people drain me, negative people drain me. That kind of stuff, right? 

[00:32:22] Pauly Barker: Yeah. Okay. 

[00:32:25] Marshall Stern: And your environment, parts of your environment, does that energize you or drain you?

[00:32:33] Okay. The next step in all of this for another time is to really focus, look at what is revenue generating of all the energizes and the drains. What are the revenue generating activities and what are the more administrative? And just put R beside the revenue on both sides and the A beside the administrative

[00:33:01] And the final step in all of this, what's at the final step? But the final step in setting it up is what's your strength? What's your weakness? So you're basically going to have. All the stuff on the energizing side, all the stuff on the drain side. And then beside each one there's going to be a R for revenue generating or administrative A, and then W for weakness or S for strength.

[00:33:27] Now, in a perfect world, you get nothing on the drains, that's all gone. And that everything on your energizer side is revenue generating. And in your strength zone, that's, that's utopia. 

[00:33:43] Pauly Barker: Yeah. That’s the dream world. 

[00:33:45] Marshall Stern: The dream world. That's not going to happen. Okay. Let's be, let's be honest, this is the Stern Truth.

[00:33:52] That's not going to happen. What is going to happen is you can, it's a process of working towards that. But like that's perfection. That's the ultimate goal is to get as close to that as you can. And we want to re remove because we have to be realistic. There's things in our business that we do. Some might be more administrative, but we want to stay.

[00:34:13] Here's the whole point of it all. You want to limit activities that drain you. So if they drain you, these are the ones we have to get off your list right away or figure out a plan to get them off your list. Like if it's help bring someone else on, the ones that drain you that are, you are not, not even in your strength zone and that are what? Administrative 

[00:34:42] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[00:34:42] Marshall Stern: You want to be focusing on revenue generating that you are good at, that energizes you. Okay. That's where our focus really, as much as we can needs to be, and there's other things we can do as well. But that's that is where we don't – I forgot to mention one thing about the drains, about the people.

[00:35:07] This includes, and a big time includes, clients. Okay? So if you have clients that drain you, we need to look at that. And is there a way to work with them so they don't drain you as much? Or are there some clients that we need to cut ties with because they just constantly drain you of your life. And some people have that.

[00:35:44] And as you build your team, your company, it might be the same thing with, with employees or subcontractors. You do not want dreams. 

[00:35:56] Pauly Barker: Can I ask a question? 

[00:35:58] Marshall Stern: Yes, please. No, no. You go ask. 

[00:36:02] Pauly Barker: So part of, I think my issue with, deciding if I should outsource is a lot of my drains. I am good at them. I just don't like, but I, that could also be, because there's, so everything's on my to-do list.

[00:36:19] So maybe if we get rid of some of the things I'll like doing the things that I used to like doing. 

[00:36:26] Marshall Stern: Okay. Well that's the first. Okay, so you just said something really, really important. You used to like doing them. Here's the thing. When we're overwhelmed, when we have so much on our plate, almost everything becomes a drain.

[00:36:41] Pauly Barker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:36:43] Marshall Stern: Because it's like just another to-do. So we want to stop living in the land of, to-dos and start living in the land of to-bes. So who do we need to be in order to achieve this? Who do we need to be to build this company? So rather than thinking about all the to-dos, well, we have to think about the to-dos because we have to clean up that to-dos.

[00:37:08] So if you are so, but who do we need to be? Well, okay, we're being the mature coach, mature business owner, the mature leader. What do they do and what do they not do? 

[00:37:22] Pauly Barker: They rely on other people's strengths and they motivate their, team and they get people really excited about their vision. They don't just try to do everything themselves and spend a bunch of time and money trying to learn every single piece because that's not really revenue generating.

[00:37:47] It's really draining on your energy and it's going to take you forever to learn all of the things. It doesn't make sense.

[00:37:59] Marshall Stern: Okay. So looking at your list, and I know you're going to add to the list, if you're talking about getting things that drains off your list, whether it's outsourcing or excuse me, outsourcing or not, some of them maybe just you need to shift the way you think about them. Maybe some of them you don't need to do at all, or you can change.

[00:38:22] What do you, what can you control right now? What could you do differently to forget the outsourcing per se, just some of these things in your drains. What can you do to change to get them off your list or to have them not drain you so much? 

[00:38:44] Pauly Barker: Breakfast with TV on, I cannot have the TV on, which might mean my daughter throws a tantrum, which is also a little bit draining.

[00:38:59] I did go outside one day to eat on our porch and she came with me and just played. That was really nice. So maybe doing that instead of doing, since it's warmer scrolling on social media and networking. 

[00:39:17] Marshall Stern: Ooh, what's, what's draining about that for you?

[00:39:25] Pauly Barker: It's drain because I've been in the coaching space for like, really since I started my business because I started helping coaches, but really in it for about two years. It's, it's actually like a really small space. Everyone kind of knows everyone and it's a lot of the same language and someone's launching and someone's doing this, and it's just like, we just get inundated with coaching lingo and coaching things and lead magnets and I kind of just want to not be inundated with it all the time. 

[00:40:00] Marshall Stern: I hear you, sister. I know, it's there. Oh, trust me. Like ever since I launched this podcast, I've had so many people reach out to me, spam me. 

[00:40:15] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[00:40:16] Marshall Stern: Right. Oh, I can help you, I can help you get on other podcast shows. I can help you do this, I can help you, whatever.

[00:40:22] It's constant. Yes. But what's draining about it? How, how does it affect you? 

[00:40:29] Pauly Barker: I guess I just, I'm craving more genuine connection. A lot of it's very like, have my big hat on and my photo shoot and all my things and yeah, that's part of it. But being a coach is hard. It's not always great. You get pissed off, like it just seems ingenuine and ingenuine energy for me is very draining.

[00:40:53] Marshall Stern: So are you going onto socials to connect with people, like other coaches? Is that and that's why you're seeing all this stuff? 

[00:41:02] Pauly Barker: Yeah, so my entire Facebook is primarily coaches, a teeny bit of family. I try to spend at least 10 minutes engaging with other people's things and being reciprocal because people do engage with my kids.

[00:41:15] But that is a little bit drain. 

[00:41:21] Marshall Stern: Okay, so we have the breakfast, we have the scrolling. So can you, do you scroll like throughout the day at any time? Like how do you have a specific time you do this? Breakfast obviously is breakfast, but then what about the scrolling? 

[00:41:43] Pauly Barker: I try, it's supposed to be in my head a 10 minute block.

[00:41:50] I can handle it for 10 minutes. I think I can do it for 10 minutes. Sometimes if I'm avoiding an activity that I don't want to do, I'll pick up my phone and I've been more aware of it and I'm like, okay, Pauly, why is your phone in your hand right now? It's not the 10 minutes. But yeah, maybe that's part of it.

[00:42:07] And then sometimes when I'm like relaxing at home, I pick up my phone, but all of my social media is all coaches, so it's, it's just like always in my face. There's, the only way I guess to get away from it would be to just not be on social media at all unless I'm working. I've had social media since I was 11, that's when it started.

[00:42:30] So like, it's a little bit difficult for me to be like, disconnecting that from relaxing. 

[00:42:37] Marshall Stern: Okay. What's draining about all the, the coaching lingo and all that kind of stuff? What drains you about it? 

[00:42:49] Pauly Barker: I guess just the fact that it doesn't feel very genuine and it's the same thing over and over.

[00:42:53] It's like if you have that friend and she just tells the same story like every single time she does, like eventually you've heard the story, we don't need to hear it again. It, it's draining. It's just too much of the same thing. 

[00:43:05] Marshall Stern: What if – I like that you used the word time blocking, which is really, really good.

[00:43:09] So if you block, let's say the 10 minutes, but maybe at a certain time of day that, like I guess. the important part is after you've scrolled for 10 minutes or 15 minutes or 20 minutes, you say you are feeling drained from it? Like it affects you, right? Does it affect your mindset a little bit?

[00:43:30] Pauly Barker: Uh, after 20 minutes, probably 10 is okay. 

[00:43:35] Marshall Stern: Okay. Because the whole point of all of the activities we do, we want to be intentional and we want to keep the energy throughout the day as long as we can. So maybe picking the time, a different time of day to do it. Right? I mean, it's all about getting definitely the most important activities, projects done in the morning right before, before you get drained.

[00:44:00] Like you want to do the energizing stuff first. 

[00:44:03] Pauly Barker: Yeah.

[00:44:09] Marshall Stern: Because if you starve the day doing drains, let's say like breakfast with the TV on, if you start being drained early on in the day, that's not setting your, setting yourself up for success. And now you have a 10 hour workday ahead of you, and it's going to be hard. You just plugging through that. Right?

[00:44:27] So if there are drains that you have that you still currently have to do, we need to work on a plan, see if we can find someone else to do it. Let someone else be drained by it. Who might, that might be in their wheelhouse, that might be in their strength zone, but maybe do that. When you're already getting drained later in the day because you're drained already.

[00:44:47] If that makes sense. If you really have to, you do it. 

[00:44:53] Pauly Barker: I think I can see the problem immediately is most of my drains are in the morning. I try to get that scrolling out of the way in the morning. Anything I like, have to do and I don't want to do. I try to do it first. Do all this nonsense I hate first.

[00:45:08] Yeah. But maybe that's not right. 

[00:45:10] Marshall Stern: That's the big change. I really want you to try for the next week and do all this nonsense stuff. Pick a time a day that might work best for you and block it for nonsense stuff. 

[00:45:28] Pauly Barker: Okay. Yeah. 

[00:45:29] Marshall Stern: And the stuff that really excites you. The creative stuff that should be in the morning, whether it's client work Yeah.

[00:45:38] Client work, your own work creating. Yeah. Just rock and roll in the morning. 

[00:45:43] Pauly Barker: Okay.

[00:45:47] Marshall Stern: First off next, when still haven't answered your, I still haven't helped you on the outsourcing part yet. We haven't talked about the out what you're going to outsource.

[00:46:00] Pauly Barker: Yeah, so that makes me nervous.

[00:46:06] Marshall Stern: What activities that are draining you? Can you actually outsource? 

[00:46:15] Pauly Barker: I thought I can outsource almost all of them because they're like funnels, automation, email marketing. But, I, we talked a little bit about this before this podcast that financially right now safety blanket has been pulled, right?

[00:46:35] My husband is full-time in the business now too. How do I juggle? Like, okay, I can just suck it up and do it myself, which doesn't work that well. because I just don't do it. I just avoid it as long as I possibly can. I've been avoiding these emails for like months, maybe a year. 

[00:46:52] Marshall Stern: What emails? 

[00:46:57] Just emails. Like when people come into the Facebook group, the nurture sequence, and then everything I post in socials, turning that to email. So they're just staying warmed up instead of hearing from me once and just disappearing. Okay. But email marketing good email marketing is expensive. So it would cut into – I guess that's the trust, right?

[00:47:17] Like if I have clients, I tend to hoard that revenue. I'm like, no, no, no. I need it. I want to know where the next client is coming from. I can't outsource this. If I can do it and I know how to do it, which I know how to do most of the things, I'm going to do it myself versus release that. Don't act like you're hoarding it all in a tower and outsource it.

[00:47:38] But how do I balance, like I do need some of the revenue. It's just like a big jumbled mess in my head. 

[00:47:44] Marshall Stern: Okay, perfect. Okay, so out of all these activities you're referring to email marketing, whatever the, all the activities you might do for clients that, that really you procrastinate on and that drain you that you that could, if you – okay, let's, let's start with this money wasn't an issue.

[00:48:11] Just list, list off the ones you would outsource or whether it's on your team, employee subs, whatever. What would you outsource? 

[00:48:20] Pauly Barker: Emails. The bulk of my social media, 

[00:48:29] Marshall Stern: Social media management? The content? Or you or like, or for your, for your own company? 

[00:48:36] Pauly Barker: It's really for myself, I don't mind doing it that much for other clients, for myself, I like, I can't even breathe.

[00:48:43] I dislike it so much. For my clients though. Also, it would be nice to have someone do the emails, do the design. The design is fun for me, but it takes me hours. So have a funnel designer, website designer more, because funnels can be ugly, but websites should not be ugly. 

[00:49:02] Marshall Stern: So websites, okay. 

[00:49:06] Pauly Barker: And the, the management of like actually looking at all of the metrics and reporting them, I don't mind optimizing them.

[00:49:16] I don't like having to put all the numbers in a spreadsheet and do the Loom video and all. Like, it takes a lot of time and it's repetitive. Anything repetitive? No. 

[00:49:27] Marshall Stern: Okay. Out of all of these and whatever other ones that come up, what would give you back the most amount of time and energy in a given day?

[00:49:40] Pauly Barker: The most amount of time right now. So right now I think I have two clients. Three. Okay. The energy and most of their things are done, so now it's just managing. So I think more of the focus is how do I get more clients and get my business better optimized more than the client work. So what would bring me the most time is doing my own emails, finishing, I have this new offer that I was going to launch that I haven't finished the funnel for, and that there's no emails for.

[00:50:21] So I guess completing that so I can actually sell it.

[00:50:32] Marshall Stern: So who could you bring? What type of person can you bring on your team or outsource to for that?

[00:50:46] Pauly Barker: Probably an email marketer. Someone that's good at automations and high level. Yeah, someone that's really good at automations and high level because it's software. It's like SaaS for small businesses. So we also have to build out the SaaS, which I hadn't even started. And just the thought of that.

[00:51:04] I'm like, it's such a good offer. I'm so excited. I know it would sell itself. That build out sounds daunting. So someone like that would be really, really helpful. 

[00:51:17] Marshall Stern: Do you have anyone in your network who could do that? 

[00:51:19] Pauly Barker: I have a lot of people in my network that could do it. I'm just scared to hold a plug on it because I don't have that much financial wiggle room to pay them.

[00:51:27] Marshall Stern: Okay. Here's the thing, and I understand what you're saying, it's common. I'll hire you when. I'm sure you hear from clients too. 

[00:51:39] Pauly Barker: Yeah. And I hate it. And I'm like, it doesn't make sense. What do you mean when you don't know how to do it? 

[00:51:44] Marshall Stern: Yeah. And you, I'll hire you When? Well, when, when.

[00:51:48] Pauly Barker: When I get five more clients. 

[00:51:49] Marshall Stern: Well how will you get five more clients if you don't hire me?

[00:51:52] That's the whole thing. Right. Imagine you weren't doing this, the email marketing. Imagine you weren't, you were outsourcing the email aspect. Imagine you were outsourcing all the stuff that drained you. Okay? How much more time during the day do you think you would have 

[00:52:17] Pauly Barker: Almost all day.

[00:52:19] Marshall Stern: What could you do at that time? 

[00:52:23] Pauly Barker: I don't know. I'd have to figure out what to do. I wouldn't feel crazy. I wouldn't even know what to do with that much free time. I mean, I'm sure I could figure it out, but I would have to have a plan to, like, how do we utilize these new hours? 

[00:52:35] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:52:36] Pauly Barker: But that’s never happened.

[00:52:37] Marshall Stern: You are now the coach. You're the, uh, mature business owner, right? You're the company leader. Where are the revenue generating activities you can do 

[00:52:50] Pauly Barker: As a coach? 

[00:52:51] Marshall Stern: Well, as the leader of your business, like as the leader of your business. 

[00:52:54] Pauly Barker: my business, as leader by business, I can't really set up a plan to sell this SaaS.

[00:53:06] I can go to some in-person events talking about it, telling business owners how is this going to benefit your business? And then getting some calls from there. I can do this really cool ad testing method. I just learned, Chanel actually to test ads and, and do it quickly and get the very best, all of the pieces for the messaging, for the SaaS software.

[00:53:35] So a lot of things, actually, a lot of things that I don't even have the bandwidth to think about thinking about right now. 

[00:53:44] Marshall Stern: So I want you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine you're not doing the social media for yourself or the email, you're not doing the stuff, okay? And with this stuff are something for you to figure out.

[00:53:58] Like I want you to take one of them off your plate. I want you to commit to one today, which might be scary, but imagine you're not doing that one. The one that's going to give you back the most amount of time. Imagine you have that time. You can now utilize that time to grow your business, to get more clients.

[00:54:16] So that you could pay this person for the email or for whatever they're doing, and it's like to part of your team, it's a no brainer. Because now you have more clients coming in because you have the bandwidth and you have the energy. Just imagine what that's like now. You're build, you're not waiting, you're actually now building your company.

[00:54:36] Imagine how that feels. Yeah, you can open your eyes anytime.

[00:54:45] Pauly Barker: Yeah, that feels a lot better. 

[00:54:50] Marshall Stern: Well, it's, it's a leap of faith. 

[00:54:54] Pauly Barker: It's a leap. Yeah. 

[00:54:57] Marshall Stern: It really is. You have options. If you really, truly want to build a company, why not?  

[00:55:10] Pauly Barker: We have one small problem, so. I've invested tons in mastery. So I wanted to do all of the things by myself. I was going to be a one hit wonder millionaire that had no time ever in my life.

[00:55:26] So right now there's a lot of business debt. There is almost like – I am all about investing and trusting and, but there's literally no money for that. So what do I do in that position? 

[00:55:45] Marshall Stern: Okay, so let's, one thing I'm totally aware of, okay, is this is where all the coaches, a lot of coaches don't do this, right?

[00:55:58] The coach is like, this is my once my four steps process my system to do this, right? You do this because I did it to build. I realize everyone's at different places in their business, and I acknowledge that, and that's totally fine. So you're at a certain place right now. Okay, so if you don't have the financial ability to outsource any of what we're talking about right now, okay, what can we do to free up some time?

[00:56:29] Okay? Because it's really, in the end, it's all about building your business, getting more revenue in the business, right? Getting small clients and some more revenue. But you also do a lot more clients where you're the, it's kind of, it's tricky because you got more clients and you got more work that you have to do, and then you have less time.

[00:56:49] So I really want you to look at everything on the Energized Drain Audit, and what you can cut right now. Or you can move to a drain block. Have a drain block pick. Pick an hour of the day, half hour of the day. And throw all the drain crap into a drain block. Just know, maybe go to the gym if you, if you're, or go for a run and be all, you know, energized.

[00:57:22] And then have a drain block or vice versa, have whatever works for you. Because everyone's different. Have a drain block and then do some sort of exercise so you don't stay in that dream. But the point is, we can still, even with you doing everything right now, it's about having a plan. So maybe the email is the number one thing, and maybe even start the process of find out how much it would cost, what the investment would be if you were to bring someone on your team or outsource that aspect.

[00:57:51] Okay. So you, just so you know the numbers, because we need to know the numbers. 

[00:57:55] Pauly Barker: Okay. 

[00:57:56] Marshall Stern: Okay. So if it's going to cost you, let's say I'm just throwing out numbers, a thousand dollars a month to outsource all these clients, the email from all these clients or whatever it is now, I need to be able to bring in.

[00:58:10] Clients to be able to cover that and then sell. Okay, but I need to have the time. I need to have the bandwidth. I need to have the energy to be able to do that. So let's bring in some more clients. Let's figure out what we can take off our plate, reduce our drains right now so that we can get up and go and have more energy to be able and have that sort of goal.

[00:58:32] It's like, okay, I need this. I need one new client. I need two new clients at this price point or total revenue. I need $4,000 a month or $2,000 a month, or $5,000 a month, or 10,000, whatever it is. And then I can confidently, comfortably, maybe not fully comfortably, but I'll step into the, you know, I'll be comfortable being uncomfortable and I'll break someone on my team and that'll be the first step.

[00:59:03] Pauly Barker: Yeah, I like that. I haven't had a plan in place in a while. I feel like I'll beat myself up if I fall short of the plan. Like I used to set goals and, and if I fall short, I was like, an emotional disaster. But I think we're past that, so I'm going to have. 

[00:59:23] Marshall Stern: So I've talked quite a bit.

[00:59:29] Any of, how are you feeling about all of this? 

[00:59:33] Pauly Barker: A lot more clear. I was in this loop in my head of like, well, I know I need to outsource, but I can't outsource because I don't have money and then I need clients. But that's more time and like it was all looping. Now I feel like there's a path that makes sense to have a plan.

[00:59:51] You literally, I say this to clients all the time. You don't know what you're shooting for if you don't have a target. So it doesn't make any sense. You're just doing things and going nowhere. And that's what I feel like I've been doing. I'm just doing all the things and I'm not going anywhere. And month after month, it's kind of like the same thing.

[01:00:08] So. I like the plan moving forward and executing the plan. 

[01:00:15] Marshall Stern: Okay. So I wouldn't be doing my job as a coach if I didn't, if I didn't bring this on to end the conversation holding you accountable. So what's your next step? What can I hold you accountable for? 

[01:00:27] Pauly Barker:, To have all the numbers and the plan of what exact revenue do I need, where I can come from?

[01:00:36] Yeah, just the plan, a plan to get to the outsourcing. 

[01:00:42] Marshall Stern: So when it comes to the outsourcing, maybe make a more detailed plan for okay the first – because some of these rules might be the same company that you outsource to, right? So just make a plan and maybe speak to some people. Get the, find out how much it's going to cost.

[01:00:59] But if they take on the email management take on social media. Like the report analysis might be someone else, I don't know, maybe it's the same company, but just find out it's the plan. How much would this cost? How much would this cost? How much would this cost? Talk to a few different people on in your network.

[01:01:18] And, I mean I dare I say, and marketers are going to hit me for this, there are over people overseas as well who do it for a fraction of the price. 

[01:01:28] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[01:01:29] Marshall Stern: Right. I don't know how good they are, but if you have people in your network here. Yeah. Because it's all about you building the company. 

[01:01:39] Pauly Barker: Right. The company. That sounds so nice. 

[01:01:43] Marshall Stern: Okay. And, and that's starting today because that's what this is all about. I mean, you've already been doing it, but it's been a business and it's been you and you've been a player. And that's what we all start somewhat like that being the player. But you want to step into that coach's role, the leader's role.

[01:02:00] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[01:02:01] Marshall Stern: Right. Having that plan and then at least you know what you need to do. 

[01:02:07] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[01:02:09] Marshall Stern: Okay. Well, I look forward to hearing, don't go anywhere, I look forward to hearing all about this and, yeah, so please check in, check in with us and just let us know how things are going. But, but I heard this a while back and it was, and I always screw up quotes if I'm trying to come do it by memory, but it's something to the effect of, it's not about the we, we need to fall in love with the process, not the destination.

[01:02:40] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[01:02:41] Marshall Stern: And so it's about falling in love with the process. The destination is this company, which is awesome, but you're going to start building it now, and it's a process towards building the ultimate, whatever that ultimate is for you, that three-year, five-year vision. 

[01:03:00] Pauly Barker: Yeah. 

[01:03:01] Marshall Stern: Okay. Start doing it now. 

[01:03:05] Pauly Barker: Yeah, it's exciting.

[01:03:07] Marshall Stern: Awesome. Okay. It's been a pleasure having you on the Stern Truth. And, yeah, we'll maybe we'll have you back in a little while and check in, see how you're doing. And we wish you all the best. 

[01:03:21] Pauly Barker: Thank you so much for having me. This was really, really helpful.  

[01:03:25] Marshall Stern: I appreciate it, appreciate you and have a great week.

[01:03:28] Don't go, don't go anywhere. I will see all of you again next week.

[01:03:35] Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in the upcoming episode or join us in one of our Momentum Accountability group sessions, simply email me to Marshall@marshallstern.net.

[01:03:55] That's Marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and leading with confidence.