Ep. 32 The Stern Truth: Business Therapy Thursday with Bonnie Fitz

I sit down with Bonnie Fitz, founder of Differentiate Marketing, in this Business Therapy Thursday session.

We define what would move the needle most for Bonnie and her business. She's unsure of where to take her marketing agency and turned to me for help to find the best place to start.

She’s been in business since 2022 because she wanted to make an impact while feeling free as an entrepreneur. Bonnie knows she wants to adjust her pricing to create more of that freedom. It’s the fear of rejection that really gets to her.

As entrepreneurs, we crave the support of other people. At the same time, we need to shape ourselves and our futures. And Bonnie certainly knows how—she took an unfortunate incident and turned it into a love of jiu-jitsu.

We get into the concept of self-acceptance and the value of valuing yourself. Once you have that belief in yourself, that confidence to take those strides, it becomes easier to grow your business and your life how you want.

Learn those hard but important lessons from the past. Step forward into the life you want to make for yourself.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Marshall Stern: All right, we're back today with another special Business Therapy Thursday session, which we do once a month. If you want to be either featured here in a Business Therapy Thursday session with our audience, or you just want to have a private one to one Business Therapy session, reach out to marshall@marshallstern.net. 

[00:00:22] Doesn't have to be recorded and published to everyone unless you want it to be. It could just be you and me in a deep dive coaching session, helping you break through some of the blocks that might be holding you back in your business and in your life. Have a listen and enjoy.

[00:00:41] I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do it all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows.

[00:01:00] I've been there, and I get it. This podcast is here to change that every week. I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugar-coated. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place. 

[00:01:23] This is the Stern Truth. 

[00:01:28] Hey Bonnie, how are you doing today? 

[00:01:30] Bonnie Fitz: I'm good, Marshall. How are you? 

[00:01:32] Marshall Stern: I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Thank you. First of all, thank you for stepping up and being willing to be coached today. First of all, I guess I should ask the question, do I have your permission to coach you today?

[00:01:45] Bonnie Fitz: Yes, please. Thank you for having me. 

[00:01:47] Marshall Stern: Okay, excellent. I'm curious why you actually raised your hand to participate in this Business Therapy coaching session. 

[00:01:57] Bonnie Fitz: For one thing because I'm afraid to be on video, so I guess maybe it would be good for me. Secondly, I need to – I think my biggest issue is under charging or not charging what I'm worth.

[00:02:11] I was hoping to get your insight on that. I guess that would be the biggest thing for me. 

[00:02:19] Marshall Stern: Okay. So by the end of our conversation today, what would really be helpful? Like what would move the needle for you? 

[00:02:26] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I guess it's mostly the, well next steps, like what would be, which direction to go in.

[00:02:31] Because I have a few things that are in my head and I'm kind of having trouble, like getting clear on what's the best thing to start with. But I think after we talked before, I'm thinking that the pricing thing is the biggest issue that I have or the thing that would move the needle the most, if I could fix that.

[00:02:50] Marshall Stern: Okay. Maybe can you tell me a little bit, just remind me a little bit about your business, what you do, how long have you been in business? 

[00:02:57] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. I've been in business since 2022. I own a marketing agency, but right now very small. I primarily focus on Facebook and Instagram ads as well as, you know, everything behind the scenes to support that.

[00:03:13] So the landing page and automations and all that stuff that the lead would go through after clicking on the ad. Wanting to expand into SEO and things like that in the future. 

[00:03:26] Marshall Stern: Okay. How did you get into this business? 

[00:03:28] Bonnie Fitz: From a Facebook ad, actually. 

[00:03:31] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:03:31] Bonnie Fitz: So that's how I know that Facebook ads work.

[00:03:33] But also I was always just kind of looking for a way to have time freedom as well as doing something where I feel like I'm making an impact on people, and helping businesses grow. Yeah, I really, I enjoy doing that. 

[00:03:51] Marshall Stern: And do you have time, time freedom now? 

[00:03:53] Bonnie Fitz: No, because I'm undercharging people.

[00:03:56] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:03:56] Bonnie Fitz: So that's, that's the issue. 

[00:03:59] Marshall Stern: So, it's funny, you know, most of us get into this thing called entrepreneurship, or I should say business ownership because we want to have time freedom. We want to have financial freedom, and we end up, most of us, end up working longer hours for less money.

[00:04:16] And as like Michael Gerber says in the E-Myth, when working for a psycho boss who doesn't let you take vacations, and that's us, right? So we want to get away from that. Talking about pricing. Actually, before we get into the pricing, let's talk about why you do what you do. Why do you get up every morning to serve your clients?

[00:04:36] Bonnie Fitz: It's going to sound cheesy, I guess, but I do like, I do genuinely want to help people, and growing their business because I guess because I've gone through that also and, I don't know. Yeah, I just, I like seeing people go from being very new and just starting out to getting the success. I really like seeing that.

[00:05:02] Marshall Stern: So, I like that because that's, it's serving others. It's like really being heart driven and really wanting to make a difference and help them, right? 

[00:05:09] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I do. 

[00:05:10] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Why do you think you're not charging – why do you think you're undercharging? 

[00:05:16] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I was thinking about that actually. I, because I knew you were going to ask me and, I don't – it's not that I'm not.

[00:05:25] It's not my confidence in what I can actually deliver to them. I don't have an issue with that, and I don't even think it's that I'm like desperate to make a sale and make the money. So the only thing I was thinking it could be is that being afraid of rejection, which is going to make me sound pathetic, but I think I just don't, I don't want to get the no, and so I'm just underpricing so that I'll get a yes, if that makes sense.

[00:05:51] Marshall Stern: Okay. So you don't think it's a confidence issue? 

[00:05:54] Bonnie Fitz: Not confidence in the product or what I'm providing to them. It might be confidence in myself, but not like, yeah. If that makes sense. 

[00:06:04] Marshall Stern: No, it does. It does. You know, a lot of people get confused and they end up charging – and I did an episode on this, episode four, people want to listen back to episode four – they end up charging based on their worth, what they think their worth is versus what the value is. 

[00:06:22] Bonnie Fitz: That true too. 

[00:06:24] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:06:25] Bonnie Fitz: Well, the other thing is, yeah, it's really putting a value on myself because there's no like physical product. So if you have a physical product, then I could think like, okay, it costs me this much to fulfill this order and I'm making, so I'm making this much. 

[00:06:39] But right now I'm just putting a value on myself and my time basically. So maybe it is what you said that I don't value myself enough. 

[00:06:48] Marshall Stern: Okay, let's talk about that for a moment. Why don't you value yourself enough? 

[00:06:52] Bonnie Fitz: I don’t know. I would have to say like decades of reinforcement from when I was younger. You know, I'm not always having the most supportive people around me.

[00:07:05] I don't want to call anybody out. Anything like that. 

[00:07:09] Marshall Stern: Yeah, yeah. No, it's fair enough. Fair enough. I just want to, I want to acknowledge you for your openness and your transparency, and I also want to let you know that you're not alone. In fact, I think everybody, here's the thing, we are all shaped by our past to a certain point, and then for good or bad.

[00:07:26] Or indifferent. But then at some point, it's our job. It's our duty to shape ourselves based on what we want our future to be. 

[00:07:35] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, you're right. 

[00:07:36] Marshall Stern: And it doesn't matter what the past is. We need to learn from the past for sure, so that we can move forward and step into the life that we do want for ourselves, but we need to also believe that we deserve it.

[00:07:50] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. Yeah. I think that might be the part that I'm missing. 

[00:07:53] Marshall Stern: So, well, here's the question. Do you believe you deserve success? 

[00:07:56] Bonnie Fitz: Yes, I do, when I logically think about it, I do what, but I guess I've just been told, you know, so many times that I don't, so it's like hard to get that out of your mind, I guess.

[00:08:11] Marshall Stern: So it's interesting, you know, there's some people who take that, who've been told that can't do this, they can't do that. You're, you're no good. You're not going to amount to anything you're not, or this, or whatever it might, that might, it might not even be that. That intense, but just over little things over time, right?

[00:08:26] Some people are able to use that as a motivator. Now, not everyone, and you might not be able, that might not be a motivating factor for you, but some people can actually that as a motivator and say, I'll show them. 

[00:08:40] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I have done that in other areas of my life. So I definitely, I definitely resonate with that.

[00:08:49] Marshall Stern: Okay. Like what, like what do you want to explain? 

[00:08:50] Bonnie Fitz: Like, I am definitely not mentioning any names, but I got into like a physical altercation at one point, like 10 years ago. And after that I started jiu-jitsu and now I'm like, you know, I was like obsessed with that. Basically I was there like twice a day, like every day.

[00:09:09] And I got really good at it. but it was kind of just like –  

[00:09:14] Marshall Stern: Don't mess with Bonnie, 

[00:09:16] Bonnie Fitz: But it was kind of just like, yeah, you know, you think you can beat me up, like I'll show you. You know, it was kind of like – 

[00:09:23] Marshall Stern: Good. for you, 

[00:09:23] Bonnie Fitz: That type of thing. 

[00:09:24] Marshall Stern: Oh, good for you. So why can't we do that in business? 

[00:09:28] Bonnie Fitz: I don't know.

[00:09:31] Marshall Stern: Because you think you're good at what you do? The skill. 

[00:09:35] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. Yeah. 

[00:09:36] Marshall Stern: Do you think you’re ego-centered?

[00:09:39] Bonnie Fitz: I don't think so. 

[00:09:42] Marshall Stern: What if, I mean, sorry, continue. 

[00:09:44] Bonnie Fitz: No, go ahead. Go ahead. 

[00:09:46] Marshall Stern: What if I told you I think you are? 

[00:09:49] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Keep going. 

[00:09:53] Marshall Stern: So you're not in the, like you’re egotistical and ego centered in the way that most people would think.

[00:09:58] Bonnie Fitz: Mm-hmm. 

[00:09:59] Marshall Stern: Okay. I don't think you're that at all. You're very humble. Would that be a correct statement? 

[00:10:05] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I would think so in most cases. 

[00:10:08] Marshall Stern: Except for Jiujitsu, you know, humble there. Okay. but what I mean by the ego-centered is you're making it all about you, first of all. I want to acknowledge you for- 

[00:10:18] Bonnie Fitz: You're right. I think I understand, like-

[00:10:21] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:10:22] Bonnie Fitz: I'm making it about like, what are these people think of me? Or like, do they value my product or, yeah. I guess, well. 

[00:10:30] Marshall Stern: Yeah, you're making it all about you. Like. 

[00:10:33] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. And I'm not thinking about, oh, I just want to help this person, which I do. but I'm getting in my head, I guess, about people's opinions of me.

[00:10:41] Marshall Stern: Yeah. And I'm going to say shame on you. 

[00:10:43] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:10:44] Marshall Stern: And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you. Well, it's - here's the thing, and this is what we're calling a Business Therapy session, and it's a coaching session, but it's a Business Therapy session because it's not all about do this. Step one to grow your business, step one, do this, step two, do that.

[00:10:58] Step three, do that, right? It's about really getting inside of ourselves and understanding why we show up the way we do. Why we have certain habits, what's preventing us from getting to where we want to get to. And one of the things that I find with people who – now I acknowledge you because you're showing up and whether people are listening to this audio podcast or watching us on YouTube, you're showing up like that stepping outside of your comfort zone and you're growing just by doing this.

[00:11:26] So I want to give you that. That's awesome. Putting yourself out there. 

[00:11:30] Bonnie Fitz: Thank you. 

[00:11:32] Marshall Stern: That's doing something scary, which I think we all need to do more of. Except for like, yes, me, don't put me on like a, well, I'm kind of here like a five meter diving board. Don't put me on one of those big diving boards because I'm, you know, or, or suspension bridge.

[00:11:49] No, no, no. That's a different thing. I don't have to do that. 

[00:11:53] Bonnie Fitz: It's funny you said that though. Like, I've actually been skydiving. I've done like all kinds of things like that. But I'm afraid to come on a podcast. So anyway, I thought that was kind of funny. 

[00:12:04] Marshall Stern: Yeah, it is, right. I mean, and I have no desire to ever – well, actually I did skydive.

[00:12:10] Well, parasailing, it wasn't skydiving, right? I parasailed once. And the only reason I actually in Mexico, the only reason I actually did it was because I saw this, I was like 22 at the time, and I saw this like 80-year-old woman do it before me. And I thought if she could do it- 

[00:12:25] Bonnie Fitz: Then you have to.

[00:12:26] Marshall Stern: I have to do it, right? My friend Danny, that I have to do it.

[00:12:28] I didn't think about the sharks that were below me. If I did fall into the, well, at some point you are going to, you may actually fall into the ocean. Or go into the ocean. Your idea is to land on the beach. I didn't think about the sharks that could actually eat me up, but, if it was like rocks below, I wouldn't have done it.

[00:12:49] But the thought of like falling into water, it's a psychological thing, right? 

[00:12:52] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:12:53] Marshall Stern: It's, fear is a fine thing, but I have no desire to actually go mountain, like, climbing a mountain or something like that. And no height's, really not for me. So it was amazing I did that. But when it comes to this, you're holding, you're preventing customers, your clients, potential future clients from growing their business with you because of how you might feel about yourself.

[00:13:15] And of what you're pricing and what I mean by that, you might be getting clients in but at a lower price point and it's not sustainable. 

[00:13:23] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. And I can't, I don't have the time to get as many clients in that way. 

[00:13:28] Marshall Stern: No, no. And a lot of the times, the less you charge, the more difficult clients you'll get.

[00:13:34] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. That's definitely true. And also I think sometimes people, they know when I undercharge just because they think, well, I don't want like the bargain thing. Like I want the best thing. So they're thinking that it's like a lower value product, just because I said that. 

[00:13:52] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Yeah. What do you think you need to do in order to start charging for the value? Bring and start stepping. Start showing up. It's ironic because I had posted a quote today, which is not today when people are listening to this because they could be listening to it at any day. But the one I posted today was just something I came up on my own and it was because I love quotes and it said you need to show up in order to go up.

[00:14:20] Do you agree with that? 

[00:14:22] Bonnie Fitz: Yes, for sure. If I'm not, I mean, that's what I'm trying to do today. It’s just, you know, I was nervous about doing this, but I don't know. I showed up and I'm probably doing terrible, but that's okay. 

[00:14:36] Marshall Stern: Why would you say that? You have, you have, you have to stop yourself from, from saying that.

[00:14:41] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, that's true. 

[00:14:42] Marshall Stern: You're, you're here. 

[00:14:43] Bonnie Fitz: Right? 

[00:14:44] Marshall Stern: They're not, there are people listening who would never do what you're doing. I'm going to say that again, Bonnie. There are people listening to this and watching this. I'm telling you, I know this for a fact. They're cheering you on and they're saying, that's awesome that you've done this.

[00:15:01] I could never do that. And they're inside their own heads. 

[00:15:05] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. Thank you. I mean, I think a lot of people are inside their own heads if you really think about it, but I'm always just thinking about myself. 

[00:15:14] Marshall Stern: So you're, because you're ego-centered. 

[00:15:17] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. Yes. 

[00:15:17] Marshall Stern: You're, you're being selfish. You are being selfish.

[00:15:19] And I want us today to stop being selfish. I want you today. To start to stop thinking about yourself when it comes to your worth or your lack of worth, and I want you to start to think about your clients and how you could serve them and how valuable you what you have to offer is to them in helping them growing their business, whether it's through as management or it's through SEO, if you add that or any other service you add as a marketing strategist.

[00:15:52] Marketing experts, it's time to show up for your clients. 

[00:15:56] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. When you say it that way, like, stop being selfish, I'm definitely not going to do it again because it sounds terrible. I think I just wasn't looking at it that way. I wasn't thinking about it that way, but it's good for me to think about it that way.

[00:16:09] Marshall Stern: So what would the next steps be for you if you have this insight right now? Okay. What would the next steps be? 

[00:16:18] Bonnie Fitz: Start talking to more people and pitch the price that I'm actually worth. The main thing, I guess. 

[00:16:23] Marshall Stern: Do you believe it? 

[00:16:24] Bonnie Fitz: I don't know if I believe it, but I mean, I do. Yes, I do. When I think about it.

[00:16:31] That might take more than like a day for me, 

[00:16:33] Marshall Stern: But I'm curious as to why this is business. I'm not a therapist. This is Business Therapy, but I'm not a therapist. I have to caveat that. but I'm wondering why you were able to physically train yourself and become this powerhouse with jiujitsu. And you've kind of said like, no more.

[00:16:50] I've had enough of whatever was going on. I'm doing this and now you're like, this me, like not mean, but you know what I mean - fighting machine like you can defend yourself, you got confidence, all of that when it comes to that. But when it comes to your business and when it comes to stepping out there and charging for the value that you offer you, you are not able to get to that point and you're not believing it.

[00:17:12] How were you able to do it with jiujitsu? 

[00:17:15] Bonnie Fitz: I mean that, that's a really good question. I'm not really sure what the difference is. 

[00:17:26] Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess this is more interacting with people, which is different. That jiujitsu is more like the outcome is only based on me and what I like my skills. It's not like this is more like how people perceive me or how well I can sell what I'm offering. 

[00:17:46] Marshall Stern: So is it all really in the end, is it all about how you're being seen?

[00:17:50] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I guess it might be.

[00:17:52] Marshall Stern: And this goes back to things in the past. 

[00:17:54] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, probably. I think it does. 

[00:17:57] Marshall Stern: Are these true these things that you, you, you, you say to yourself inside your head when you show up, if you go onto here or if you just did a reel, an Instagram reel, and you put it out there and you start thinking in your, this, that voice your head, is it true?

[00:18:13] Bonnie Fitz: No. It's not. 

[00:18:15] Marshall Stern: Like, what do you, what would people be saying about you that you think people would be saying about you? 

[00:18:19] Bonnie Fitz: I don't know. 

[00:18:21] Marshall Stern: Just you and me talking. 

[00:18:23] Bonnie Fitz: Just that I'm, you know, I'm not, I guess living up to people's expectations or that I'm not going to be successful, that I'm kind of going to be like, you know, a failure or, that's, I don't know.

[00:18:39] You put me on the spot, but… 

[00:18:40] Marshall Stern: That's what coaching is. 

[00:18:41] Bonnie Fitz: I don't know if it's anything specifically, it's more like just that you're not worthy as a person. I don't know. 

[00:18:49] Marshall Stern: But why are you, why would you think you're not worthy as a person? 

[00:18:53] Bonnie Fitz: I don't know why. I mean, I guess like if you want to get like really far back people, like people close to you when you're younger are supposed to accept you, love you, whatever.

[00:19:05] So, and that doesn't happen I guess now that I'm older. I know like logically no better than that. But like when you’re a kid, you don't, and those messages kind of just like get into your head before. I guess before you're old enough to know that it's not true. I don't know. I can't think of like a one specific thing, but more just like in general. 

[00:19:29] Marshall Stern: And all of those messages, all of those experiences you had when you were younger, did that lead you down a path that you now look back at and it's a path you didn't want to go down?

[00:19:41] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. 

[00:19:41] Marshall Stern: Okay. But you got off that path, right? 

[00:19:44] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:19:46] Marshall Stern: And now you're on the path you want to be on somewhat. I mean, it's still a little rocky, which is running a business. 

[00:19:53] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. Yeah. This is definitely what I want to do though. I'm happy with it. I like what I did. 

[00:19:59] Marshall Stern: So, all the things before coming on into the session today, before coming onto camera today, did you have the thought about it?

[00:20:08] Did you have voices inside your head? I don't mean like voices, but you know, you know, I mean, your own voice. 

[00:20:13] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. Just I'm going to look stupid. Or, you know, who am I? Like, why would you want me to be on your podcast? You know, like –  

[00:20:20] Marshall Stern: Who am I? Am I going to look stupid? Why me? Am I too young? Am I too old? Am I this? Am I that?

[00:20:28] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:20:29] Marshall Stern: What will people think? What will people say? 

[00:20:30] Bonnie Fitz: Too young, for sure. A lot of people or, yeah, I guess not a lot of people say that, but some people say that and I am always like thinking that I'm too young because I'm 28, so you know, and then I'm talking to people who are like much older than me and I'm thinking, why would they think that I know what I'm talking about?

[00:20:48] Marshall Stern: They’re too old. They're too old. They're not too young. They're too old. No, but seriously. It's all just words. So the question I have for you, whenever, okay, so whenever this comes up for you, whenever you're about to go into a client meeting or a networking event, or a podcast, or you're about to do a reel or something like that, put yourself out there.

[00:21:11] Show up to go up, and you have that little voice, that little Bonnie. Well, yeah. Okay. Give me an age that was not good for you. Like a really bad age. 

[00:21:21] Bonnie Fitz: 18. 

[00:21:22] Marshall Stern: Okay. So the 18-year-old body on your shoulder. 

[00:21:25] Bonnie Fitz: Or you mean like a younger?

[00:21:27] Marshall Stern: Yeah, could be a younger, it could be younger. It's okay, but you know what I mean.

[00:21:31] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:21:31] Marshall Stern: Right. Ask yourself three questions. Okay. Question number one. Is this true? So. Little Bonnie or what other people in your life back then said about you or when you were 18, whatever you were doing, whatever path you went down when you were 18. Is this true? What people are saying about me or how I think about myself?

[00:21:51] Like what I'm thinking about myself? Is it true? Question number one. Simple question. Okay. What do you think the answer will be? 

[00:21:58] Bonnie Fitz: No, not true. 

[00:21:59] Marshall Stern: Then we move to the next question. Is this really true? 

[00:22:03] Bonnie Fitz: No, it's not. 

[00:22:03] Marshall Stern: Third question, if you did say yes, because chances are you're going to say yes. So I know we're talking about this and you're on camera and everything.

[00:22:10] You're probably saying, yeah, it's not true. But in the moment you're like, who am I? Am I worthy? If  I'm sending a proposal out to a client, should I be charging them $2,000 for this package? Or they might say no, they might reject me, so I'm going to knock it down to 1200 or to 800 or to 600, whatever it is.

[00:22:28] It's just a number. They will reject me. Is it true? Yeah, it's true. They're going to reject me. Is it really true? They're going to reject me. Yeah, it's happened in the past. All these people said I couldn't do it. They'll probably reject me like the last person did. Third and final question, do I have proof and nine times?

[00:22:46] Yeah. I don't. Nine times out of 10 you don't. 

[00:22:49] Bonnie Fitz: It's true. 

[00:22:49] Marshall Stern: The fact that is true, the fact – for example, the client situation prospect, if you say to yourself. Is it true? Is it really true? Yes. Yes. Do I have proof? Yeah. The last person rejected me. The last person's not this person, right? Yeah. If you're, should I go on?

[00:23:05] If I'm not going to go on camera? Because some people are going to think that. Is it true? Yes. Is it really true? Yes. Do I have proof? Yeah. Yeah. I do actually have proof because it happened last time or someone made a comment to me on social media last time. That's last time.

[00:23:18] Doesn't mean it's going to happen this time. 

[00:23:21] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, and I think, I mean, even it might happen with some people, I'm sure anytime you put something out there, some people are going to say something, thank you, but. 

[00:23:29] Marshall Stern: Yes, yes. Okay. So that's what, yes. But that cannot stop us. 

[00:23:34] Bonnie Fitz: Right? 

[00:23:34] Marshall Stern: Because that's when we're being selfish.

[00:23:37] Bonnie Fitz: Because then it stops anyone else from getting any value from it, or you know, me helping other people. So yeah. 

[00:23:44] Marshall Stern: Because for every creepy comment out there or negative comment out there that someone might say about us, first of all, every time here's another way to look at a shift. Maybe if you're getting comments, good, bad, whatever, celebrate that.

[00:23:59] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. I mean, it's engagement so. 

[00:24:01] Marshall Stern: Well, it's not just engagement. Well, yeah, it's good for the algorithm and everything, but it's, but it means that you are actually putting yourself out there, even if they're bots. It means you're actually out there. If you have zero comments, it means you're probably not doing much.

[00:24:17] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I agree. 

[00:24:19] Marshall Stern: Okay, so let's talk about next step. Sorry. Continue. Yeah. 

[00:24:22] Bonnie Fitz: No, I said I think I just have to remember that like every time. 

[00:24:25] Marshall Stern: Okay. So you said you're 28. 

[00:24:28] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. 

[00:24:29] Marshall Stern: Where do you want to take your business? If you could look into the future? You're 31, 32. We bump into each other down in Florida on, on the golf course down in Florida. I think that's – you're down in the US down there somewhere? 

[00:24:44] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I'm in South Florida. 

[00:24:45] Marshall Stern: Oh, Florida. It's three years from now, and I see you, and it's been three years since we had this session, and you say to me, Marshall, holy crap, it's been three years since we last saw each other. I have to tell you what's going on in my business.

[00:25:00] And you have tears practically rolling down your eyes because you're so happy, you're so fulfilled. Tell me what's going on in your business and life. 

[00:25:09] Bonnie Fitz: I like to expand to the point where I can hire some people. And be more of like manager or CEO. I always feel weird about saying that about myself. But anyway, I'd like to have employees. 

[00:25:25] Marshall Stern: I have your three years in the future, so tell me three years in the future. I have. Okay. I have… 

[00:25:30] Bonnie Fitz: I have 10 employees. I have clients coming in. I have so many more people than I can actually take in and the clients that I do have are getting great results.

[00:25:42] And they're really happy with my services. and I should have thought about this more. 

[00:25:48] Marshall Stern: That's what, that's, no, that's okay. You will trust me. It's going to be top of mind now, but we're just working right now on it. 

[00:25:55] Bonnie Fitz: I think I want to always, in my head at least, I want to always keep the ads management part myself.

[00:26:01] Onboarding and ads management because I think, a lot of the bigger agencies. A problem that I've heard is that they, there's kind of a disconnect between like the person that sells you and onboards you and the person that's actually working on your account. So the messaging and everything might not necessarily get through.

[00:26:22] So I'd like to probably keep that part myself and then have enough people, employees to help me that I can just focus on that. and then, you know, they deliver all the more of the backend things like landing pages and automations and things like that. 

[00:26:41] Marshall Stern: Do you – are you all, is it a remote business or do you have an office?

[00:26:45] Is everyone remote? How does it work? What are you doing? 

[00:26:49] Bonnie Fitz: In the future, you mean? 

[00:26:51] Marshall Stern: Yeah, we're still in three years. You're 30. You're, you're 31 now. Almost 32. 

[00:26:56] Bonnie Fitz: Okay. I think I would like to have an office because I would like kind of employee culture type thing. I think it's easier to find good people that way.

[00:27:08] I mean, not that you can't otherwise, but it's easier to create the type of culture that I want because if they're communicating with customers also I want that to be done the way that I like Also, so like the way they're treating the customers and things like that. I want to be able to be more hands-on with training and, things like that.

[00:27:28] And I'm not very good over Zoom, actually. I'm better like in person. That’s why I think having a physical location would be better. 

[00:27:37] Marshall Stern: You're doing great here. Just so you know. I don't know what you're talking about, but yeah, that's okay. You have physical location. How much money are you bringing in?

[00:27:47] But what's your not revenue, income three years from now? 

[00:27:50] Bonnie Fitz: My personal income or…?

[00:27:52] Marshall Stern: Your personal income. What you're taking home. Yeah. Not the business. You, what you're able to pay yourself, whether it's income, dividends, whatever. It's how much are you taking home every year? 

[00:28:01] Bonnie Fitz: Okay. I don't know, 200,000. 

[00:28:03] Marshall Stern: Why? 

[00:28:03] Bonnie Fitz: I feel, I don't know. Because I feel like if I said more, I looked, I look like unselfish or something. 

[00:28:11] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:28:11] Bonnie Fitz: I guess that might be an issue too. I mean, it's, south Florida is very expensive, so a hundred I feel like is being comfortable. I'd like to have a little more than that. 

[00:28:22] Marshall Stern: Dare you say three or 400,000. 

[00:28:25] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. I mean… 

[00:28:26] Marshall Stern: That's greedy.

[00:28:27] Bonnie Fitz: I feel like it would be, but I mean, I don't know. No, I don't. The thing is, I don't think that about people who are actually making that. I don't think that they're greedy or selfish or whatever, but like growing, saying it myself is different for some reason. 

[00:28:41] Marshall Stern: So growing up was money kind of taboo? 

[00:28:44] Bonnie Fitz: I mean, I don't know about that, but like, it definitely wasn't like, we didn't have a lot of money.

[00:28:51] No, no one in my family made a lot of money, so. 

[00:28:54] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:28:54] Bonnie Fitz: I guess I'm just not used to talking about numbers like that. 

[00:28:59] Marshall Stern: Okay. Do you think you deserve to make $300,000? 

[00:29:05] Bonnie Fitz: Probably not. That's probably the same. 

[00:29:07] Marshall Stern: Do you think – what about 200,000? 

[00:29:09] Bonnie Fitz: I mean, that's a little closer. I guess I can think. I can like sort of like conceptualize that.

[00:29:15] Marshall Stern: Okay. Okay. Let's forget about what you think your belief system do you, on what you deserve. But let's talk about belief system and what you think you can achieve. Like, as a business, do you think your type of business can bring enough revenue that you can actually be earning income wise around $200,000?

[00:29:35] Bonnie Fitz: Do I think that it's possible? 

[00:29:37] Marshall Stern: Do you think it's possible? 

[00:29:39] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. 

[00:29:40] Marshall Stern: Do you think other people are doing it? 

[00:29:41] Bonnie Fitz: Other people are, yeah, definitely. 

[00:29:43] Marshall Stern: Now I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about, I know, I'm not talking about all the smoke and mirrors. I'm not talking about the ones who show you on Instagram or you know, TikTok, whatever their bank balance.

[00:29:53] Like, look how much I made a hundred, a hundred k pay in full. Like, I'm not talking about those kind of people. I'm talking about the real authentic agencies. Do you think they're making two, 300,000 income? 

[00:30:04] Bonnie Fitz: I think some of them are. 

[00:30:05] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Yeah. So it's possible. 

[00:30:07] Bonnie Fitz: Yes, it's possible. 

[00:30:09] Marshall Stern: So instead of asking the question, why me? Who am I? You know what the question should be? 

[00:30:14] Bonnie Fitz: Why not me? 

[00:30:16] Marshall Stern: Exactly. 

[00:30:16] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I just need to have you like telling me this every single day. So, so no. 

[00:30:22] Marshall Stern: We can talk about that, but honestly, I want you to actually write down on a piece of paper, post it, put it on your phone, put it on your computer, put it on your bathroom mirror.

[00:30:34] Why not me? Okay. Okay. 

[00:30:39] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I'll do that. 

[00:30:41] Marshall Stern: And whenever you get into these moments, here's another thing, another strategy. Whenever you doubt yourself, let's remove yourself for a second. Because they, we can play games with ourselves, right? Here's what I know. When we're shaped, when we shape, when we allow the past or current people in our lives to dictate how we feel about ourselves, this could be a whole other episode.

[00:31:02] Actually it will be, maybe it'll come back. Otherwise, I'll just do it like it's, it is the thing, if we allow other people to dictate how we feel about ourselves, that's a very, very dangerous game to play. 

[00:31:15] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, definitely. 

[00:31:16] Marshall Stern: Except we can accept the one caveat to that, or the one rule exception to the rule, to that is what I'm about to give you.

[00:31:23] Surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. So I want you to promise me something. Bonnie, next time you feel like an imposter? Or who am I? Should I even be sending this proposal? Is this, are they going to reject me? Ask yourself this question. Okay. What would Marshall say?

[00:31:45] Okay. You said you need, you said it'd be good, it'd be great. Or however way you put it. If I told you every single day, why not me? I'll be with you every single day. What would Marshall say? 

[00:31:58] Bonnie Fitz: Sounds good, 

[00:31:59] Marshall Stern: And I think the answer will be clear. 

[00:32:02] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:32:03] Marshall Stern: It's a habit. You need to rewire your belief system, 

[00:32:08] Bonnie Fitz: Right? Yeah. 

[00:32:09] Marshall Stern: Instead of, why me? Who am I? I'm too young, I'm too old, I'm not experienced enough. I'm this, I'm that. If I go on the line, people are going to judge me if this blah, blah, blah, all that kind of stuff. What would Marshall say other people are doing? Why not me? The key, and this is for another conversation is, and I mentioned it just a few minutes ago, the beginning of it is building.

[00:32:32] I mentioned like bringing people into your world that lift you up and make you feel good about yourself and encourage you. Taking it one step further, working towards that vision. You talked about 10 employees, but working towards that, building that, building out that vision and building the plan to achieve it by slowly building your team of whether it's coaches and mentors, could be an employee, it could be subcontractors that buy into your vision and are in line with your values, but building a company.

[00:33:00] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. 

[00:33:01] Marshall Stern: Right. Not just a job. Right? Not just Bonnie's business. 

[00:33:05] Bonnie Fitz: That's what I have now. Yep. 

[00:33:07] Marshall Stern: And that's where you step into that. We might have talked about it when we first met, being the coach, not the player. 

[00:33:14] Bonnie Fitz: Right? Yes. That's what I want. 

[00:33:16] Marshall Stern: Right? So bringing players on your team. Now you can be a player as well.

[00:33:23] So for people listening, like, don't get me wrong, being a player, like doing some of the work, playing the game. But if you're the player, if you're playing all, like in baseball, if you're all the bases, who's coaching the team? How are you able to do everything and win games and achieve your goal when you're doing everything short term?

[00:33:43] Sure, you can probably do it. You burn out fast though because you're so busy in the game. The next play, the next client, the next job, the next this, that you're not even look at tomorrow, meaning next month, next year. And what are the systems and processes that you need to bring into place to build a company?

[00:34:04] So it's all about being the coach as well and bringing people on your team to be players. So you're being the coach, the leader, and that's what it's all about. When you can step into that leadership role, and it's a mindset. It's not a position in this case. I mean, it is a position, don't get me wrong, but it's more the mindset.

[00:34:25] You are leading this company so that you can achieve the vision if that's exactly what you want. That whole vision's about abundance. That's the word that came to mind. When you were talking about clients coming in, you have so many clients, you're not able to even service all of them. So maybe you have strategic partnerships and you out, you white label or whatever it is, or you just referral partnerships, who knows what it is.

[00:34:46] But you have a team, but you're, but it's all about also getting a little bit uncomfortable, which is what we're doing today, which is a huge step, right? Because the growth happens when we step outside of our comfort zone. 

[00:35:00] Bonnie Fitz: Yes. I agree. 

[00:35:01] Marshall Stern: So one more takeaway I want you to get from today's conversation.

[00:35:06] I want you to become comfortable, okay? This is a big one. As much as I said, you know, what would Marshall say and why not me? Those two things very big. This is even bigger. I want you to get to decide today to get comfortable being uncomfortable, and that's simply a decision. 

[00:35:23] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, right? I feel like the more that I do, that better I get at it. I guess hopefully I haven't figured that out yet. 

[00:35:32] Marshall Stern: What do you mean? 

[00:35:33] Bonnie Fitz: Like if I keep doing things like this, then I don't know. Eventually it'll get easier. 

[00:35:38] Marshall Stern: You know what, I'm going to tell you the Stern Truth. It might not. 

[00:35:41] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. I kind of had a feeling you would say that. 

[00:35:45] Marshall Stern: Okay. I think Prince used to - like Prince and the Revolution, not Prince as in Prince William.

[00:35:51] Maybe him too, but Prince, I believe, used to throw up before he went on stage. He had stage fright. I think Beyonce also has stage fright. I might be wrong, but it's someone of her stature and success. I think it's Beyonce and what they do. I know for sure, Prince, what they did or what they do and did is they went into their persona in order for them to be able to get out on stage.

[00:36:16] Once they run, once they were out there with the crowd, they were okay because they went into that sort of persona. Which was not their everyday person. Then behind the stage, when they were out there on stage, they were fine. It was the act of getting there, every time. But all we see is these amazing performers and we think, how are they so amazing on, on camera?

[00:36:36] That's all we see. People see us differently than we see ourselves. Okay, so it's time. We just get comfortable being uncomfortable. It's a habit we have to work on. It might, you might not, you might get a little bit more comfortable being uncomfortable for sure, but it's decision to become comfortable being uncomfortable.

[00:36:54] But you might become, sorry – you might become less uncomfortable over time and you might not. But I'm telling you, if you're consistent and you continue to do and continue to put yourself out there and show up, you will go up. You will go up and towards where you want to get to, but we need to stop.

[00:37:09] Bonnie Fitz: I like that. 

[00:37:09] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Which part? 

[00:37:11] Bonnie Fitz: The quote? Your quote. 

[00:37:12] Marshall Stern: Oh my quote. Yeah, it was timely that it was for today. Yeah. and it does help and it will work. And that and your clients, your prospects, future clients are out there waiting for you to show up and waiting for your company to help their company grow, get better results.

[00:37:30] That's your responsibility. So as the coach, you need to prepare the player in you and the coach in you. It's self-coaching for each game. Whether it's a mantra you say to yourself or whatever it is, you need to get yourself in the  - you're going on stage. They need to hear me, they need to see me, they need me.

[00:37:50] What do I need to do in order to, instead of having a to-do list, let's have a to be list. Who do I need to be in order to take this company to the next stage? Okay. Alright. So how I like to end all of our coaching sessions with my clients is accountability. This is where rubber meets the road, as they say.

[00:38:11] So Bonnie, what are you committed to doing? I'm going to check in with you on this. So in the next week or two weeks, what can I hold you accountable for? What are you going to do to, to push yourself? 

[00:38:23] Bonnie Fitz: I'm going to start spending a lot more on my ads so I can talk to more people and just –  

[00:38:28] Marshall Stern: Say, sorry, say that again. You're going to what? Cut out there. 

[00:38:31] Bonnie Fitz: Oh, I just need to start spending more on my own ads so that I can talk to more people. Because I just need to put myself out there and just give them the chance to find me, I guess. And then when I do talk to them, I'm not going to undercharge them. 

[00:38:48] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:38:49] Bonnie Fitz: I'm going to listen to this again so that I can remember everything that you said. 

[00:38:55] Marshall Stern: I'll send you the transcript too as well. I want something tangible from you. I want something like KPI, so to speak. So I'm not sure what your packages are now. Do they fluctuate based on how you're feeling in a given day with a prospect?

[00:39:11] Like, do you have the price and then you kind of discount it depending on how you're feeling? 

[00:39:15] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah, I do that. I definitely do discount it. Yeah. Even sometimes, when I go on the call with them, I'll plan to say one thing and then I just discount it, so. 

[00:39:28] Marshall Stern: Okay. We're going to talk again, you and I, and I want to work on this with you, but what I want you to do is the price that you want to charge.

[00:39:38] I want you to say it over and over and over again, and take a red line, and put the red line under it. That's a red line. It does not go below that price, and it doesn't – I want you to step into the future with this when you're talking to prospects, meeting with them, and imagine that you are fully booked, whether you have a team or not.

[00:39:56] You are fully booked. You do not need any more clients. So if client prospect a wants to work with you and your agency, this is the price. You have an abundance mindset. Because when we have a scarcity mindset, that's when we think, oh, I could use a client. I need the money. I need a client. So I'm just going to, instead of charging 595, I'm going to give it to them for 295.

[00:40:21] And then, and you know what happens when you do that? You feel like shit probably afterwards. 

[00:40:25] Bonnie Fitz: Yeah. And I definitely regret doing it. Yeah. 

[00:40:29] Marshall Stern: And what other thoughts do you have when you do lower your price? You do lower your value. What does that do to your worth? 

[00:40:35] Bonnie Fitz: I mean, it lowers it. Of course. Yeah. 

[00:40:38] Marshall Stern: And who's doing that? It's not the people, you know, 10, 15, 20 years ago in your life. 

[00:40:44] Bonnie Fitz: No, it's me. I'm doing that. 

[00:40:46] Marshall Stern: I think we're done. 

[00:40:47] Bonnie Fitz: Thank you so much. That was really helpful. 

[00:40:49] Marshall Stern: Don't go anywhere. 

[00:40:50] Bonnie Fitz: Okay. 

[00:40:50] Marshall Stern: I'm just going to, okay. I'm just going to say goodbye to our listeners. So what I want from everyone who's been watching this, I want, or listening to this, I want to hear your thoughts.

[00:41:01] If you've listened throughout and you've come to this point, do you have a little Bonnie in you? Have you been there? I want to know your thoughts and feedback and insights you've received from this Business Therapy session, and please send the thoughts, the insights, the takeaways in, and we'll see you next week on the Stern Truth. 

[00:41:26] Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in the upcoming episode or join us in one of our Moment Accountability Group sessions, simply email me to marshall@marshallstern.net. 

[00:41:45] That's marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button, so never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and meeting with confidence.