
The Disciple Effect
Are you ready to grow deeper in your faith, walk boldly in discipleship, and embrace the power of mentorship? The Disciple Effect is a podcast designed to equip and inspire you in your walk with Christ. Each episode dives into the heart of biblical discipleship, real-world mentorship, and faith-filled living. Whether you’re seeking guidance, eager to mentor others, or simply looking for encouragement, this podcast offers biblical wisdom, real-life stories, and practical steps to help you grow. Join us as we follow Christ, build meaningful relationships, and live out our faith with purpose!
The Disciple Effect
How to Love Difficult People — Biblical Truths That Transform Relationships
Are you struggling to love someone who seems impossible to deal with? Discover how the Bible teaches us to love difficult people — with grace, patience, and Christ-like compassion. In this video, we dive into powerful scriptures, practical advice, and real-life applications that will help you overcome bitterness, anger, and frustration through God's love.
📖 Key Scriptures Covered:
Matthew 5:43–48 – Love Your Enemies
Romans 12:17–21 – Overcome Evil with Good
1 Corinthians 13 – What Love Looks Like
Colossians 3:12–14 – Put on Love
💡 Whether you're dealing with toxic relationships, family conflict, or challenging coworkers, this video offers spiritual encouragement and biblical wisdom to help you respond in love — not just for their sake, but for yours too.
👍 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more faith-based content and Christian life lessons.
#LovingDifficultPeople #ChristianRelationships #BiblicalLove #Forgiveness #FaithInAction #LoveLikeJesus
Praise the Lord, welcome to another episode of the disciple effect, where we're nurturing faith, one conversation at a time. Man, today we're diving into one of the most challenging commands that Jesus ever gave, that is to love difficult people. Whether it's a coworker who tests your patience, a family member who pushes all the wrong buttons, or someone who's deeply hurt you, God's call to love doesn't come with exceptions.(...) But how do we actually live that out? Today we'll explore what it means to love like Christ, even when it's hard, and why doing so leads to freedom, healing, and transformation.(...) Brother Dave, take us in bro. Amen, alright, Heavenly Father, we just thank you God for giving us this opportunity Lord, to be able to come together God, and just explore your word God, be able to share this God with whoever's listening through God, we just ask you God that you fill us with your Holy Spirit God, that you use our body's God, our mouth's God, our words God, that we can speak to somebody God who's going through this, who's having difficulties, Lord, we just ask you God that you fill them God, that you give them the answers God, and once again God, I pray for every single one of us here Lord, their families God, and we just give you the honor and the glory at all times, and we ask this in Jesus name, amen.
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Amen, gentlemen, welcome again, thank you guys for being here, it's always a blessing to get together. It's always nice to see you guys and get together. So today it's gonna, I think there's a whole lot of stories I know, just in chatting prior to the recording, I know there's a lot of things that we all can share, and I think this is a needed conversation within the body, and so I'm excited to have this conversation with you all, because even the conversation that we have before we start recording, before we turn the cameras on, it's always a blessing to me,(...) it ministers to me just the conversations that we have, and so hopefully that'll be the case for those listening in today.(...) All right, let's get into it. So we're talking about loving difficult people, amen. I know I've had a number of experiences which I'm sure we'll get to in terms of sharing those stories, but the first question is,(...) what exactly are we referring to by difficult people? Let's define that,(...) and I'll give a few examples. So it could be people that are toxic in your life, someone that's hurt you maybe. Someone's abusive. Yeah, there you go, someone that's just draining in your life that requires a lot of attention without really reciprocating back and giving value in terms of that relationship.(...) Difficult people, what about you Dave? The manipulator one. Oh. How about those people who always guilt trip you, or those people who can never take their own fault, it's always somebody else. Yeah,(...) how about the people you love?(...) Sometimes they'll say things that are so painful,
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and people that you admire, or people that you appreciate.
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Those are the ones that you feel like, man, if they would not just say what they did, it would have been a lot easier, but then you have to kind of work with that.
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There's a lot. I mean, it's-- I feel family's probably the most difficult one. Because you can only separate yourself, and I know we'll talk about that in a bit, but you can only separate yourself so much.
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Family gatherings, holidays, there's still a certain level of interaction that you have to have. So I feel like that one really requires, maybe we'll dig into that a little bit more than others, but that one's special. How about the person who knows it all? The person who can never be wrong, who just-- Mr. Perfect. Yeah, no matter what you say, or that conversation starts, they always have to come back and, "No, no, I did this better, I know this better. This is the real way." Do we have the know it all in the group today? (Laughing) No, no, we don't. I don't know anything. We're all students. (Laughing) I feel like Nico's kind of on the-- (Laughing) Maybe that's why you're doing the same much.
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(Laughing) The white one.(...) (Laughing) Nico's the rebel. (Laughing) Nico's the rebel of the group.(...) He doesn't say much when he says it, he hits it right on the nails. Yes. How about people, leadership,(...) people in position? Yeah. It could be at work, it could be at church.
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That's good. You know, it kind of falls into that. I know it all because I'm in this position and I kind of have to give you that impression, but then you don't know how much that person is hurting you. Just by having that mentality left alone, just saying what you shouldn't say.(...) Those are the actions they take.
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That says a lot too, the action you're saying.
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So when you say that, that leads me into how to create a healthy space, how do we create a safe environment with those types of people? And I know we're gonna dig into that, but let's dig in actually a little bit more then. What about, and I don't know if one of you said that, but the person that's critical, that's often criticizing, that's tough too. That's hard to work with, people that are like that.
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They seem to be, we call them negative Nancy's, where it's just always bringing you down some way, one way or another, instead of bringing you up. Wow, and the power that they have for other people to hear it and being influenced by it. That's crazy, because then they start saying certain things to certain people, and says, "That's so and so great with me."(...) And that kind of empowers them to hurt you more.(...) And if there's a scar in you, it starts to hurt more too. Yeah, even thinking within that, when you're saying that critical person, it's like the one that's,
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I don't wanna below them, but the one that's always hurting, or it's always going through something, like just become very drainage, you know what I mean? It's like, oh my God, it's always about that person, and you gotta pray for them, and you gotta watch out for them at all times, or you give yourself to them. Yeah. That person's confused. That example right there is later on, there's a point that I wanna talk about, where Jesus says to forgive,(...) 70 times seven.
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Is he saying forgive 490 times?(...) I know that particular case isn't directly about forgiving, it's just more about working and having grace with people. But I think that's a prime example of where Jesus isn't saying, "All right, keep a count." He's saying there really should be unlimited grace, unlimited forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that it's not taxing on you. Yeah. You know what I mean? So to your point, it can wear on you. Yeah, there's so much to talk about that. Jesus said that, a really good example there. Amen. So the critical person, that's the person that always finds fault, right? Rarely is encouraging.
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1 Peter 3, 8 through 9 says, "Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another. Love as brothers, be tender hearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reveling for reveling. But on the contrary, blessing." I love that. "Knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."(...) So Dave, you were saying to pray for them, actually, I think before we were recording also, you were saying sometimes, that can be challenging, praying for someone that you know happens to be difficult to deal with in life. But pray for them, all right? We should respond with kindness, not sarcasm.(...) But if you look at the meanings in 1 Peter 3, chapter 3, verse 8 through 9, blessing actually has two connotations there. So the first blessing, where it says, "But on the contrary, blessing." In other words, the Bible's saying that you should bless those, right?
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But it means to bless, to speak well of, or to praise.
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Isn't that difficult? Especially in the context of when you're working with someone that is known to be difficult,(...) right? It's definitely difficult. But look at what the Bible is saying.
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It means, it typically refers to speech that pronounces or is intended to result in positive circumstances for another person. That's what it means to bless someone.
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Now, the other thing too, the last portion of that verse says, "Knowing that you were called to this, "that you now may inherit a blessing." So be a blessing so that the doors are open in your life so that you can also receive blessings. But blessings, in that context, it's a beneficial situation experience because God has shown favor to the recipient of the blessing.
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So to me, that says, if you want to have a blessed life, as it relates to relationships now, how we deal with people, we're talking about loving, difficult people. If you wanna have blessings in your life, if you wanna have a blessed life, God is saying, "You know what? "You still are required to deal with grace, "with kindness towards others." In other words, be a blessing so that you don't block your own blessing in your life. Almost like if you really look at this is that God has set up situations in your life with a purpose for you to go and grow and develop.(...) It's not just there, "Oh, just God missed it "and I should not allow my son to go through this." God is preparing you. So we have to look at this way and sometimes we don't wanna see it this way, but then we need those people to be hurtful for us to develop. Even though we don't wanna see it that way, is the character God is building on us. It's part of that journey that you have to go through to be developed that... I mean, we've talked about it in so many other podcasts about how everything you go through, there's a purpose to it. There's something behind it. A guy is working behind it. Everything we go through, we need to just realize it's not in vain. God has something in that purpose. God is working. He's building our character in that whole part of it. Even in those relationships that are difficult.(...) Wow. Why God? Well, you'll see. Be patient. God's plan is always perfect, man. That's right.
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Dave, you said the manipulator. So that person is guilt trips,(...) or is controlling, or applies pressure into the relationship.
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But I like that saying, we grew up, I hear it all the time. My dad used to tell us, "Let your yes be yes, "and your no be no." And little did I know that's biblical. But we should set firm boundaries with honesty. Love doesn't mean losing your voice.
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So in relationships where someone is manipulative,(...) we should still find a way, right, to where you can have a voice in that relationship, and still be graceful and kind towards that other person. That tends to be manipulative.
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But we should still, right? You have a voice. And we need that. And we'll find out later on that that's actually creating a safe space, a healthy relationship, when you set those boundaries. But there's also the offender. And I know this one, we're talking now, we're just kind of breaking down
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the different types of difficult people, and there's likely more. But I think these really will resonate with people,(...) because I know this one in particular, the offender,
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is someone that unfortunately is probably active in a lot of people's lives. More so than it should be. The offender leaves scars. Yes. And sometimes the scars are hard to heal.(...) And that's why people carry those for a while. And they care exactly, the scars. And then when someone says something that triggers them, you almost want to be like, "I want to be around that person."(...) And then, it's crazy. I've been through that. And it's difficult because in that situation, that's such a deep conversation, because you can't see those scars. Those scars could be mental, emotional. Even spiritual baggage that you may be carrying that we just don't see. But people deal with in private or secretly, due to those issues.
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But the offender is someone that hurts you, maybe even deeply hurts you. But Colossians 3.13 says, "Bearing with one another and forgiving one another, "if anyone has a complaint against another, "even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." Wow. Is that not difficult? Yes. When you're thinking about someone that has deeply hurt you. But why is it difficult? That's a good question.
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(Laughing) It's interesting that Jesus spoke about this matter so much as he was here on earth. Yes. And it was something that he knew we were gonna confront.(...) Him, as he was taught at the cross, he says, "Jesus, God Almighty, forgive them for they know "not what they do." He was actually ending his journey with forgiveness.
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So, and he knew that he was gonna-- That's crazy. On the cross. At the cross. Praise God.
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I don't wanna get ahead of ourselves, but that's deep right there.(...) But forgiveness, or when you forgive,
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you don't have to, you don't continue to reopen the door to that repeated hurt. And that's part of the purpose of forgiveness. And I don't wanna get ahead of myself because I do feel that why God, or why the Lord is leading us to forgive and why he's instructing us to forgive according to the Bible warrants a much lengthier conversation.
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But forgiveness isn't for the person that hurt you, it's for you. Exactly.
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And I think about, now going back to the story where Jesus says forgive 70 times seven,(...) right? Where the disciples come up to him, they ask him, "Lord, why?" I think it was Peter, if I'm not mistaken.(...) And Peter, if you'd look into that, Peter actually comes and says, "Lord, should I forgive them?" I think he says six times, seven times.
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And if you look at Jewish custom,
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Peter was already coming to the Lord from a position of going the extra mile. Because if I recall correctly, Jewish custom was, you should forgive up to four or five times, right? A repeat offender. So Peter is coming to Jesus and is saying, "God, I'm gonna already go the extra mile, Lord. "Check this out, right? "Look at me, God, should I forgive six times, "seven times?" And God says, "No, 70 times seven."(...) And now looking back at, it's for us. It's for the ones that was offended. It's for the victim really, because it frees you. Yeah, yeah. So when I look now into the statement that Jesus said, "Forgive 70 times seven," what's that math? Isn't that 490 times? Something like that. I'm not gonna back, but yeah. It's not for you to forgive 490 times the repeat offender. It's actually to free you continually, to ensure that you're not staying in bondage. Or you're not remaining in a position of bitterness, right? But it's for us.
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Continually, in other words, you continually forgive so that you remain free.(...) Not the one that's offended you. What if the breakthrough is hidden behind the person who broke you? Yeah. And you're not realizing that God has placed in it. There, Matthew five four, it says, "Love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you." God is setting up that example saying, "They're there, I'm allowing it, learn from it."
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Isn't that crazy because in God's sovereignty, I mean, sovereignty means that He has complete control over all creation.
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Isn't it crazy how the creator of the heavens and the earth,(...) creator of all mankind,(...) of the beasts over the field, the birds in the air, everything,
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is also not only willing, but interested in getting in an intimate level in our lives to where He can use someone that hurts you, right? To bring growth in your life.
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And in the moment, it's difficult for us to see that. But that's where, as you start gaining wisdom by having conversation with others that are spiritually mature, you start realizing, like, God, God is in this situation. And Lord, why is it difficult to go to an outing or maybe even to church, right? And some people will choose to sit on the other side of the sanctuary because I don't wanna be close to such and such. Why? Because there's pain there, there's difficulty there.(...) But God can use that situation to bring growth and He will do that. And so now going back to God's sovereignty, it's amazing that God is all powerful, all knowing, yet He will get down to our level and will use situations like that in our lives to bring growth in the areas that are needed. Wow. Forgiveness is not a one thing. I listened to her brother say that on a Thursday. Forgiveness is not just one thing, it's everything. Every day you gotta ask for forgiveness.(...) And you gotta forgive because there's one person or one thing, the devil will never stop.(...) He will bring that back to you and you're whispering your ear, he's gonna say something. So that's why you always gotta ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is not weakness. People really think it's a weakness. It's not. Why should I forgive them? They harm me. Why should I forgive her or them or that? They harm me. But it's not that. You want peace. That's good. You want that anger out of you or else it's gonna get bitter and else it's gonna just eat you alive.
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It's gonna just eat your life. You're not gonna be, oh, I'm okay. You know I know you're not.
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That's what you have to ask for forgiveness. And what's crazy about unforgiveness is that it
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fosters or it brings about bitterness like you mentioned. But I feel like that bitterness when you don't forgive and you have unforgiveness in your life just creeps up on you. Where all of a sudden your heart is hardened towards others.(...) And it now becomes a barrier of entry even into God's own presence, into the Lord's presence. Because now you have difficulty lifting your hands. You have difficulty getting into worship because your heart's hardened. Because there's unforgiveness. And I feel like the longer you go the more it fosters that growth and you don't even realize it. All of a sudden, right, you know, I don't know, months down the road and you're like,
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why do I feel this way? Or you find yourself alone. You're wondering why you can't have relationships, you can't have friendships. And it's all that hurt that you're within yourself that you're holding in that bitterness. You become that person that just blocks everything around from each other, from yourself. And you wanna, it's almost like a mechanism to protect yourself. You're trying to do, you know, you're like, I'm gonna protect myself by not allowing these people. But then you start finding all these little things in everybody, because there's no such thing as a perfect person. So everybody's gonna have their flaws. But when you don't forgive, as you're mentioning, you start isolating yourself. Yeah, you're right. When there's unforgiveness, I feel like you start looking through a different lens.(...) You start looking at people, at situations, especially at church with your fellow, the body of Christ.(...) Now all of a sudden, right, you're a bit more critical, you're a bit more defensive, you're a bit more not willing to get close, and you're closed off. That's what it does. You know, crazy something.
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I spoke to, I was informed this from a doctor, and he said, the greatest disease and sickness, actually, are elaborated and initiated through emotions. So humans were built with emotions. No matter who you are, God has place in emotions in you, so that he can be excited, sad,(...) undifferent, and all that stuff that relate to that. But actually, the greatest disease are within you. So when you hold grudges,(...) your mechanism starts to not function right.(...) Your immune system actually lowers.
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You're actually more prompt to be sick, faster, you're prompt to not being able to capture,(...) and you're actually getting sick. So some of the people that are not letting it go is because your internal organs are actually-- You really are hurting yourself. But that would say that every time, to hold nothing in. It's true, man, it's true.(...) Forgiveness doesn't mean they deserve to be excused from their behavior also, right? So I feel like that's an important thing to mention. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you're excusing their behavior. And we'll talk more about how do you create that safe environment or foster those healthy relationships where you can still kind of move within the context of that relationship, but create a healthy space, right? Create boundaries that are healthy. But forgiveness keeps you from being held hostage to the pain that they caused you. It sets you free, yeah. Amen.(...) So what about the know-it-all? We talked about the know-it-all a little bit, but I kind of align that with someone that is stubborn, or even a narcissist.
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So they always have to be right. They rarely listen. They're difficult to work with or have an excessive interest or admiration of themselves.
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Ephesians 4, 2 through 3 says, "With all lowliness and gentleness, with long suffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." That word, "endeavoring," means to make every effort.(...) Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
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So talking about difficult, right, or loving difficult people.
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Wow. What is the word of God saying?(...) Make every effort. Every effort. To keep the unity amongst the brethren, amongst the body. All the in a grudge is like a drinking poison and expecting them to suffer. You're actually hurting yourself. The Bible says, Romans, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." He's shifting the aspects of here.(...) Actually, you, forgiving is a lot more healing than anything else. Yeah. Yeah. Depending to go. Amen.(...) Amen. You know, and as we're talking about this subject, I mean, it's one of those things to, just like we do it with everything, we go, all right, God, like, why would you allow this? Why is this person hurting me?
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You almost don't wanna believe, or you don't believe, or you don't assume that, hey, I'm supposed to separate myself. Somehow God is trying to teach me to be around them, or et cetera.
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But in the Bible, we have so many examples of Christ,
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being betrayed,(...) being denied,
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being accused. So once again, the word of God is truth. And as you're reading it, as you're studying,(...) you start finding all these answers.
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And going back to what we were talking about was,
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you almost go, okay, like, I need to love him, but love him in a safe way, love him in protecting yourself as well. You know, God wasn't just around them. He would isolate himself. He would go out and pray. You know, that's a mechanism to protect yourself. You're still loving people. You're not hating them. You're not, you know, you're just creating those healthy boundaries that it's okay to build. Yeah, absolutely, I like that. Love that. What about the enemy?
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Does not the Bible say to love your enemies?
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So the enemy, right, opposes. The enemy betrays. The enemy actively mistreats you. I think about kind of our current societal state, especially, you know, we're in 2025, so we just went through an election year.
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You know, even in the political environment,(...) right, it's almost like if you're not on the same side as the other person, you're considering my enemy.(...) You know, and that's not a true enemy, right, but it's almost like in society, it's considered or it's viewed that way. We're pushed to do that, yeah. But, you know, it's-- It's unfortunate, isn't it, that you're right. Just to go into that real quick, it's that anybody who doesn't see your point, who doesn't see your point of view, doesn't believe the way you do, you automatically label them as your enemy. That's not an enemy. No, it's not. So loving them doesn't mean you trust them.
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It means you trust God more.(...) Amen. You're seeing God's character in your life. Amen. Praise God. Amen, I love that.(...) Matthew 5, 44 through 45 says, "But I say to you, love your enemies.(...) "Bless those who curse you. "Do good to those who hate you "and pray for those who spitefully use you "and persecute you,
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"that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."
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Is that not what Jesus did? At the cross, that's what I was saying. Especially what you were saying at the cross. He did that while he was bleeding. That is the greatest example.(...) Now, easier said than done. Right.(...) (Laughing) Right? Oh, yeah. But, my Lord, I mean, the word of God is instructive very clearly.
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I mean,(...) who,
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who is more difficult to love, or who could be more difficult to love out of all the ones that we just mentioned?
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The manipulator, the offender, the one that, you know, it's critical. The one that's constantly doing it again. Yeah, the repeat offender, right? The repeat offender. For your enemy. I mean, Jesus is literally saying to love your enemies, pray for them.
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But, man, we need to ask the Lord to help us in those areas. Amen. Now, hopefully we don't have too many enemies in our lives, right? (Laughing) But, I mean, you're gonna run around-- Or you're not the enemy. You're not that person. That too. You know, let's not be ignorant about it, and, you know, we can become that person even within our families, within our spouses, you know? Can we be manipulators, so. I'll tell you right now, man, I love you mentioning that, because there have been holidays where we're on the table, and, you know, I'm sure you guys have been there too. I don't know, maybe not. Maybe it's just us. You wanna go there, brother? (Laughing)(...) When our conversations come up, you know, they always say, don't talk, especially with non-believers, don't bring up religion, or don't bring up, you know, your faith, or don't bring up politics. But somehow, someone, we're better about it now, I would say, as a family, but it's happened.(...) And in those moments, I've found it in the past difficult,(...) you know, and that could be a struggle. That's like one of those triggers, as they say, where I should be more loving in that situation, but I find myself, you know, just like, man, I don't see eye to eye with this person, and it's family, you know, to top it off.(...) But it happens.
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Anyways, we need to be more loving, and I feel like this is an area where, I feel like, because we've talked about before where the word of God is a reflection, it really reflects and it exposes, right, hidden things of your heart, of your life, that God is leading you to change, if you would allow him to, right? I feel for me, if I'm being honest, this is one of those things where, because my tendency, if I'm being transparent, is to separate myself from that situation,
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instead of maybe digging in. That's not for instance. Yeah. It's an easy way to just walk out. Exactly, right? An easy way. Because I don't particularly like confrontation, but when I feel like I need to speak up, and it's, you know, to stand or take a strong position for truth, I'll do that, but at the same time, my natural, like you said, we said, natural tendency is to just kind of maybe step away or take a step back. And I don't necessarily think that that's what the word of God is saying, although there are times, and Dave kind of hinted at it, where that makes sense, and that's healthy, and we'll talk about that here as well. But Dave, you kind of asked the question earlier, why is it hard? Why do we think it's hard to actually love difficult people? Our flesh.
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Okay. Our flesh, our natural human instinct is to protect ourselves or protect those who are being hurt.
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And naturally it's gonna be by,(...) you know, I hope not, but by being aggressive,(...) by, you know, if somebody's attacking you or your children, we're all here fathers,(...) and you know somebody's attacking your children, your cubs, you wanna be Papa Bear, you know, or our wives wanna be Mama Bears, and go and protect them, and you know, you might wanna try to cause harm to those who are harming you, you know, but obviously we know that that's not what God has instructed as that's not what he showed us throughout his ministry, you know, we have to be graceful, we have to be Christ-like. Yeah, and we have flesh, man, it's so natural. Why is it that like those Mama Bears, bro, go from here to succeed, like that?
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I don't know, I feel like the Papa Bears, if we could say it, are a bit more patient.(...) But Mama Bears, you gotta be careful.(...) Yes, we do. Yeah, man. Even with us, I've been sometimes where I say something to my kids, and she'll say, "Don't say that to them." I say, "Feder, I'm the dad."
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I need to make sure that they're doing right.
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You mentioned parents, and the other day I was talking to David, and you impacted me, brother,(...) how you were able to manage forgiveness of the situation you went through with the divorce, with the new father to your child,(...) and how it kinda got shifted.
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And I'm gonna be nice for you to add, I was just, I don't wanna-- I'm so glad you brought that up. Not to put you on the spot now, brother Dave, but you know, let's shift focus a little bit because you have a powerful testimony.
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So,(...) yeah, tell us a little bit about that story. Yeah, so it kinda overlaps what we've been talking about, and probably a little more into what we're gonna get into, but I mean, you wanna talk about the difficulty of speaking well, blessing those who hurt you either directly or indirectly. I mean, you go through a divorce, right? And things happen for whatever reason.
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I'm not trying to put blame on anybody, but it didn't work out, so you go your separate ways.(...) And in my situation, there's a new father figure, there's this new person, this new male figure in my daughter's life.
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And I mean, let's be honest, my natural instinct is, as a human, as a father, is who is this man?
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Is he good, is he a bad person? What are his intentions with my daughter?
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Going past beyond my ex-partner, but with my daughter,(...) just the instinct of protecting my daughter, you hear all these horrible stories of people
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hurting children and stuff like that.(...) So, my conversation, it was with him, and it was a difficult one, but it was completely God and the Holy Spirit working. It was, "Hey, I respect your relationship with my ex-partner, but I'm Serena's father, and I just ask you to respect her and protect her." And just remember, she has a father who would protect her. But after that, my prayer every night was, unconsciously, I'm not even gonna say, "Oh, I know this is the right thing to do. I know this is what God wants, and it's a blessing."
(...)
Or it would become a blessing, but it was always blessing this person. It was, "God, just let him be a good person. Let him be good to my daughter. Let him be a healthy relationship between him and my daughter." And I'll give props to him. His name is Jorge, and he's a great father. And I can see it because for my daughter to call him dad, to love him, to respect him, that shows the character that he is.(...) Now, can I interject? And I don't mean to, because I don't wanna take you off track, but it just came to me how much of a blessing that is for you guys. Because imagine if it could have been someone else(...) that wasn't that type of man, right? That was in your daughter's life and was not just the right type of role model, or wasn't open to being supportive towards you and your ex-wife in that situation. I just wanna say, bro, to me, that comes across as God's hand was in that situation as well, because Lord knows it could have been a different situation. Oh, yeah. A whole different situation.
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But it wasn't easy. Like I was doing, it was a great heart and an open mind. And let me just pray for him and bless him. And it was difficult, but I had to.(...) I knew deep in my heart, I gotta bless him. If I love my daughter, if I care for her and I want the best for her, then I want those around her to be good people. I want those who are helping to raise her to be good people. So anybody who's going through that situation, believe me, it was not easy. It's not easy hearing your child, your six-year-old daughter, five-year-old daughter, calling another person, father, dad, but pray for them, bless them. Do not speak evil of them. It's not easy, but don't do it. But Dave, can I ask you two a follow-up question on that? Because I know in conversations that we've had, and I'm not trying to expose dirty laundry at all, but I know that we're talking about loving difficult people.(...) Now, on one side, right, the relationship that you fostered with,(...) I guess your ex-wife's now husband.
(...)
That's great, but I know there was some difficulties with your ex-wife too. Correct. And so I feel like that one just hits a bit closer to home. It does. So talk a little bit about that, because I feel that one in particular is a great example of being mature, not only as a person, but spiritually mature as well, because I know you've told me that you pray for her. Yeah.(...) It took a while. It didn't come,(...) and that relationship was going now to this other person, individual, my ex-wife, my daughter's mother.
(...)
Yeah, it was one of those things where we're going through custody, and we're going through all these different situations, all these different alleys that are new for us, and it becomes difficult where I feel like,(...) on my case, my side of the story is, I'm being attacked. I'm being accused unfairly, unjustly.(...) And I don't know how I was reacting. I don't know how she felt the way I was reacting towards her or anything like that, but it was difficult to get to that point of, you know what, instead of having these,
(...)
when I say bad thoughts is thoughts of like, no, that's injustice. God's gonna be the,
(...)
he's gonna defend me, he's gonna create justice, and however that comes, it doesn't matter. As long as it comes from God,(...) that's not the right approach. It took some time to start going, you know what, God,(...) bless this person, bless her, protect her, bless her job, bless her children. Her children was her partner now, her husband now. I pray for that household. It was difficult, but it's God who does that, man. It's the Holy Spirit, it just has to come over you. It's not something that's natural or a natural instinct that just comes over you and you go, oh yeah, let's just bless this person. Bro, can I tell you that's such a sign of love? Yes. And I don't know if your ex-wife, like how involved she is. We're good now, we're great co-parents.
(...)
She's with her husband to have two children.
(...)
And it's grown to the point where Lizette, my wife, and I, when we go to the altar with our daughter, I pray out loud for her and I let my daughter know, hey, we're praying for your mom, we're praying for you. We pray for that household.(...) My wife and I, we make sure we pray for them. Once again, when you love somebody,
(...)
you can't speak bad about who goes around them. And we love our daughter.(...) This is her mom, that's her dad. So let me tell you a couple of things because as someone that went, not through, well, as a kid now, I wanna give you a story about my upbringing. But before I do that, I wanna tell you, bro, that I don't know how involved she is in terms of, I don't know if she's seen the podcast, listens in or not. And, but I just wanna say that for her to hear you say that, bro, if that doesn't demonstrate the love of God, I don't know what will, you know what I mean? But that takes me back to the verses that we just read a little bit ago. Bless, right? Bless others. Love your enemies. And I'm not saying she's an enemy per se, but divorce is messy.
(...)
And where are you at right now? And now granted, I didn't, we weren't as close while you were going through that situation. But my friend, if I didn't know you, if I didn't know your situation, I wouldn't believe that you would have gone through a divorce. And I'll also say, because I believe we should give honor where honor is due. Lizette is your wife now.
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She blesses your ex-wife. And I don't know if your ex-wife knows this or not. And if she listens in and she hears this, I pray that it blesses her life because I'm a testimony and I'm a witness that you guys speak well of them and that you guys bless them. And that's powerful for your daughter. And now let me go into my story.
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When you brought up how important it is for you to pray for your ex-wife and to pray for that situation, let me tell you that that's powerful because when I was a kid, I briefly spoke about it, I think on the episode with Danny,
(...)
my parents were never married.
(...)
And there was always, as far back as I can remember, it was always a custody battle. As far back as I think four or five years old.
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Now, it wasn't horrible in the sense that they were somewhat able to get along, but they chose not to be in the same place at the same time. Well, there was a custody battle going on, right? But I would hear things from my mom, I would hear things from my dad, and I always felt conflicted as a kid. I always felt like I had to choose between the two.(...) And so now I wanna bless your life because your daughter,(...) I don't think you realize how much peace that brings her. Because as someone that has been in that situation where the two parents aren't speaking well of each other, and the kid feels like they need to choose between the two. They're the ones that suffer the most. They suffer because I remember feeling, oh, I love my mom, why is my mom bad? I love my dad, why is my dad bad? Why can't they get along? I remember always feeling like I needed to choose between the two. And so for you to bring, or to create an environment for your own daughter now, where there's peace in that, bro, that's beautiful, and that's amazing.(...) And I think that's a blessing for her. And just going back to what we were talking about though, how we were talking about not forgiving people or having grudges or having that into you, how it damaged you, I have a testimony to that because believe me, going through it at first, I'm not gonna lie, I was hurt, I was sad, I was angry. Every emotion, it was a roller coaster, man, up and down. For anybody who's gone through that, believe me, they know what I'm talking about, it's just, it's a crazy situation. And I'm sure it was anything else, anybody who gets hurt, especially by a loved one. I mean, we're talking about this is the person that I love, the person I chose to marry and I decided to start having a family with. So it's just, it's up and down, but I didn't get peace. I wasn't able to start building my relationship with God, my walk with God, and truly allow him to move in my life
(...)
until I did forgive her and I did say, you know what, start blessing him, blessing her, start praying for them, start telling my daughter, hey, I pray for your mom's house, for their jobs, for your brothers and their school protection over them.
(...)
I mean, I look back now and it's like, wow,
(...)
that's when God gave me peace, that's when I was able to start growing. I was limiting myself for those first year, year and a half of just trying to do it on my own, trying to me get revenge, me get justice for myself. It wasn't until I just let it go and I said, all right, God,
(...)
bless them, protect them,(...) bless this man so he can be a great father to my daughter. So he can be a blessing to her as well. Give her the blessing of having four parents now. Look at her, she's lucky. She has four parents that love her and that will protect her. So it wasn't until then that I was able to start growing. That's awesome, bro. Thank you for sharing that story. And it's so healthy as a child, as you're growing up and seeing confrontations, situations in your family, because there's always something that the family, where it's either destructive from uncles, friends,(...) this situation with previous marriages, and just the fact that you're educating your son and daughter
(...)
to not to take judge over the situation, but say, you know what, with love. This reminds me of Joseph. So today your name is not gonna be David, your name is gonna be Joseph. His own brothers, we're talking about family, his own brothers did them wrong big times.
(...)
And I mean, if I was in his situation, I would be, man, my own brothers, I'm never gonna wanna see them again. And what if the pit they throw you into(...) was a road to your palace? What if that moment got intended for you to be in the next level of your life and you're, this is the moment where whoever's going to something like this, shift your gears. Don't take revenge.
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Revenge is destructive for you, first of all, for your kids who are seeing you constantly, like how you can, because their kids are watching every step. This is how you're taking-- They're a sponge, man, they know everything. Exactly. They see you here more than we think. They know everything. They're not looking at you. They know.
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And then it's funny enough, sometimes we say at the house, I say certain things because I'm frustrated and I'm disappointed. So I just throw stuff and my wife and I would just collaborate. And then all of a sudden, another day, I hear my daughter say the same words and using it at the moment that it's perfectly said. I say, man, who did she hear that from? And I look at myself, she heard it from me.(...) That is not right. And I'm trying to scold her, "Ameri's don't say that." But as actually I'm telling Vicente through her, "Ameri's don't say that." Exactly. Because we're teaching them. They're the mirror. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point.(...) Their brain never reflect in the reflection of who we are constantly in our attitude, how we see problems, how we solve the situation and everything involved.(...) So I love that take, bro, because that is a good reminder for all of us, I think that God is moving in the situation and because God knows, right? The Bible says that God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are greater than our ways. So you don't know what God is developing in you in preparation for that next season of your life, right? And that's why it's so critical for us to try to, I think, have conversations with others that are spiritually mature, but also get into the word and let the Holy Spirit lead you. Because when we view situations in our flesh, it brings us down and it actually hinders us, like we said, it fosters bitterness and all these other things, right? It keeps us back. It really keeps us in a position of pain.(...) But when you allow the Holy Spirit to move you, when you allow God to develop you through a situation like this, man, only God knows what He's preparing you for because the reality is what you went through now or what you went through, bro, as the story you just shared, makes you a better person today.(...) Makes you more able, right, to maybe now minister to those that have gone through a similar situation where you can relate, you can have compassion, empathy, but also it positions you in a better place to actually be a better father for your daughter.(...) And who knows what God is developing you for next? We don't know. But I wanna keep us moving forward. So we're talking about why is it hard to love difficult people? We were talking about, Dave, I believe you said, our flesh resisted, our flesh gets in the way, but our pride sometimes gets in the way as well. So love calls us to humility, but sometimes our pride gets in the way and it can be difficult. And sometimes we want justice and not mercy.
(...)
Amen? But our initial instinct is to demand justice, but Jesus teaches us to show mercy. To show mercy, yeah, God. But we also have a fear sometimes of being hurt again.(...) I think, Dave, you touched upon that, right? We try to protect ourselves by holding back our love for others. Loving difficult people is hard because we need God to do it. We need God to do it. Amen. Yes.
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So I wanna add that to that. Yeah, go ahead. When he got to do it, this is crazy. When Jesus was at the house in God, and Jesus was at this very moment, they brought him a sick person through the roof, remember that situation.
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The first thing that he said to that person, it was your sins are forgiven.
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He didn't say you're healing. So there was a deeper understanding and the spiritual realm for the heroes around them to understand. The teaching was, it's a lot better for you to be forgiven than to be healed. He was speaking to the emotions. He was speaking to the understanding of who God was. And there's controversy right there. The Pharisees and Sadducees were saying stuff like, he probably, they weren't getting it.(...) And then he said, because I'm the son of God and I'm power to do anything I want, get up and walk. But he didn't say you're healed.
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He said, you're forgiven.
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And God established a concept for us to forgive,
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even at the moment where you feel like you need to be healed. Because God will release that inside of you.(...) The healing process, the being whole, the being complete.(...) Forgiveness is such a big word. I love that, because that's a prime example of God's thoughts being greater, bigger than our thoughts. He's more concerned with your eternal destiny than he is with your current situation. Now he's also concerned with that, amen. And he will heal and he will restore, he will deliver.(...) But at the same time, God's ways are greater than our ways. And that's why it's important for us to trust in him. Because we don't know what he's doing in any given season. Right, now we're talking about love, we're talking about forgiveness, we're talking about our enemies. But something to keep in mind is that, yes, God is showing us how to love, how to be merciful like him, how to be more Christ-like. But it doesn't mean that he enabled sin. Like through all of this, there's those who create sin. And as I mentioned,(...) could we be a type of person that could be toxic to somebody? Or do we have those characteristics?
(...)
But that also comes with sin. And at the same time, God is showing us to love people to be merciful. But also, as you mentioned, I think we were having a conversation,(...) or you were saying, of also being able to speak the truth in a merciful way. I think,(...) and that goes into not enabling certain behaviors in a relationship.
(...)
Well, Dave, since you touched upon that, how did Jesus show us, or how does the Lord show us through scripture to love others without enabling sin?
(...)
Let me give you some examples. So there's a story of Judas, right? Found in Luke chapter 22, where he betrays Jesus.
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I mean, even at the Last Supper,
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God still allows him to come, because there's still purpose in the, man, this is a message in and of itself. There is purpose in a betrayal.
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God can use someone that has betrayed you to fulfill your destiny. Is that not exactly what happened to Jesus at the Last Supper? Oh, yeah. He exposes Judas, Judas goes and actually betrays him in the Garden of Gethsemane, and Jesus is arrested. But it's because, right, the prophecies had to be fulfilled. Yes. Jesus came to save, right? And to save those that were lost, to restore that relationship, but ultimately to pay for our sins on the cross.
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In other words, Jesus allowed Judas to get close enough, knowing that there was sin in his life, knowing that he was gonna betray him for the sake of the destiny and the purpose by which Christ came. And so that's a prime example, that's a good example of, God allowed him to get close enough, but still had a healthy boundaries in place where he knew he was gonna betray him. But he still, a lot of get close enough, but set those healthy boundaries. And ultimately we see that Judas ended up going his separate ways, and we all know what happened to him, right? But that's a good example where you can still love others, because Jesus loved Judas in terms of the way that he interacted with him, right? Well the purpose of redemption was actually that of the betrayal.
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The betrayal needed to happen. It needed to happen, that's crazy, that's amazing.(...) So that's one example, Peter's another example, one of the disciples, where Peter denied Jesus three times.
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I mean, that's a form of betrayal. They did not betray Jesus.(...) And what happens after Jesus' resurrection?
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He says, "Go tell Peter."
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That is such a wonderful example of someone that might find themselves in a backslidden state, talking about forgiveness now.(...) Where someone might find themselves in a backslidden state. The fact that the Bible records Jesus' words to end, go tell Peter.(...) Why? Because the Bible says that Peter went back to what he was doing before. Wow. In other words, he was ashamed, there was guilt, and he went back and says, "I likely don't have any more purpose."(...) And I walk with the Lord, I'm gonna go back to what I was doing before I met God. But God says, "No, no, no, go tell Peter." That was God's way of restoring,(...) right? That was the path of restoration for Peter. And then we know what happens after that, where Jesus asks Peter three times, "Do you love me?" And Peter says, "Yes, Lord, you know all things, "you know that I love you." And then Jesus tells him, "Feed my sheep." Wow. Right? So we see the path of restoration, we see God forgiving even in the midst of betrayal.(...) I wanna YH always talk God is wise enough to metaphor bodies. Of course his organization that we see just how long he's gonna live. And it's it's teaching, I think it's probably it's CLE bills that some people in appearing are heaven on earth. And you need to see what that means. So I'm gonna open this up I know. right, even in those difficult situations, but speaking with love and through truth. So God spoke truth with compassion. We see in John 811, and Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." So he corrects the sin. He shows love and kindness, but then he now instructs her to go, go back to her, but sin no more, right? That's a good example of we can speak the truth and not enable the sin. Correct. Amen. That same story, you can also say about the people that had the rocks in their hands. They were going to stone her. Yeah.
(...)
Everyone has rocks in their hands, and who are you to judge this person? Right.
(...)
That's something that everyone,(...) till this day, we go through that. Everyone has rocks. Everybody wants to throw the first one because this person and those people are doing this and did that.(...) Jesus are like, "No."(...) Then you say, "You that are sinless cast the first stone." The first stone. Yeah. That's a good example.(...) I can't throw it. Yeah. I think that's,(...) for me, when I hear you say that, Nico, that really reminds me of to make an effort to see the best in people.(...) You know what I mean? Because in day-to-day life, especially with just the struggles of life and talking about having to not only interact, but love difficult people, it tends to kind of create this callous where, "I don't want to deal with this person."(...) I'm actually looking for opportunities not to have to deal with this person when it shouldn't be that way. We should look for the good in people because that's absolutely what God did.(...) Amen. Is that not what God does with us?(...) Amen. But what does it mean to actually love with boundaries now? Dave, you touched upon this a little bit ago, but I think this is very important to touch upon. How do we love but still have those healthy boundaries? Like I said, I brought up the example where conversations with family, even, that gets difficult and uncomfortable.(...) For me, I learned that you got to tread lightly in those areas because ultimately it should be a loving experience, especially at a holiday or at a meal that you're together,(...) and not one that is fostering maybe unforgiveness or difficulty in that situation. So that's one example. But how do we go about that?(...) That's crazy.(...) You're not supposed to walk in eggshells. That's one thing.(...) If you're walking in eggshells, then you don't have boundaries. I mean, you're scared of something.(...) Let your no be no. I think Brother Lee, if you say that, let your no be no and you just be yes.(...) Hey, you want to go? No, thank you. Appreciate it. And leave it like that. And be okay with your answer. You can be firm but still kind. Yeah, don't be like, "No, no, no, no, I'm good. Thank you. Appreciate it." Or yes, for sure. We'll be there. Yeah. You don't have to be a doormat, right? People will get away with and continue to get away with what you allow them to get away with. So you can be firm but still be loving. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. And sometimes you actually got, I have to say it this way. It is what God intended for you to go through. And that is exactly what God is allowing.(...) You have to understand this factor because the thing that you're trying to run away from is actually the thing that God wants you to confront and get it over with. And that's something that I've experienced in my life. Sometimes things that I just try and avoid, God is putting it in front of me. You sent it, deal with it. Because I'm teaching you a lesson. I'm teaching you to have a character. And that character is me. So if you want to go to the next step, and this is for everybody. If you want to go to the next step, the next level, the guy wants to place you, just deal with it.(...) And deal with love.(...) Peace, with grace,(...) with the understanding of God. What God has because the same grace that you need is the same grace that the person needs too as well. Exactly. You can't be a judge. So that's one thing I feel like it's very fundamental. Yep. So what are examples of boundaries, setting those boundaries in relationships that are difficult?(...) One, I think example, or before I get to that, I want to touch upon the importance of stewardship. We talk about stewardship all the time as it relates to finances, as it relates to our time even. Be a good steward of your finances. Be a good steward of your time.(...) But what about how are you managing the things that God entrusts us with? That includes relationships.(...) Especially within the context of our home. With our relationship with our wives and our children. I understand some things happen and sometimes it gets difficult.(...) But we need to be good stewards of that.(...) So how are you managing your time? How are you managing the calling over your life even? But your peace as well in the context of relationships.(...) To ensure effective kingdom work. Because when there's unforgiveness, not only does it affect you and it affects that relationship directly with the other person, but now it could even affect kingdom work. What you're doing within the church. What you're doing within the body of Christ. Because, let's be real, when there's unforgiveness, it gets awkward. It gets uncomfortable when that other person is around. And now instead of being able to focus on what God is calling you to do, your mind is on other things. You're uncomfortable. Your emotions are all over the place. Because there's unforgiveness.(...) So we're talking about being a good steward now. But it's okay to withdraw. And Dave, you mentioned this. It's okay to withdraw yourself or remove yourself from time to time. Luke chapter 5 verse 16 says, "So he," referring to Jesus,(...) "he himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed." And that's something we don't do much. Yeah. And that's a key right there. Right? So if you find yourself in difficult situations, this should be a really good, I think,(...) thing to remember. Right? Which is, it's okay to remove yourself, but go give it to God in prayer.(...) Sometimes that's our last resort. Sometimes that's the last thing. And I'm speaking right now, I'm preaching to myself.(...) Because, you know, sometimes talking about we're saying our flesh gets in the way.(...) The flesh doesn't want to go and pray and really address the situation and the sum of forgiveness with the Lord. But that's really what we need to do. But withdraw yourself or withdrawing yourself can be healthy and go take it to God in prayer. Because sometimes we medicate. The question is this, how do you medicate the situation you're going through? It could be
(...)
the stuff that you shouldn't be doing. Because it's painful. Life is painful sometimes. The things that you say, the things you go through. And Jesus was sitting in that example, go medicate yourself in my presence.(...) Not to go and do something that you shouldn't, or go talk to someone so that it that emplifies or magnifies more what you're feeling because people can add fire to the I love that because we all medicate ourselves, whether you think about it or not.(...) So it's just a matter of choosing what medication you want. Right? I'd rather choose God's medication, which would be in the form of forgiveness, because it frees me, right from the bitterness from the anger from the holding on to things that are just going to entrap me. Yes. So I love that take bro. Amen.(...) So okay, let's continue on. So we talked about right.(...) Let your yes be yes, your no be no. But Jesus didn't say yes to everyone.(...) So now this comes into the context of of being a good steward of your peace or your time. Because even in the context of church can be overwhelming with how many things we take on. And now I think I will lift my hand right now and say that I've had many conversations with my wife, where she says she's really the sounding board sometimes the one that that kind of stops me in the track and really levels me because she'll say, Hey, you're taking on too much. Was that less she made for? Yeah.
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Overachiever Levi. She literally titled it the overachiever Levi list. And she had a number of things.(...) Yeah, so my wife was really good about it was a good one. I did. Yeah, she's she's good about saying on that one. You're taking on too much. And
(...)
that can be true, too. Because if you spread yourself too thin, and I think people that do that, and I can only speak for myself, but I think people that especially in kingdom work, right within the body of Christ, you want to do so much because you love the Lord, you love God's people, you want to be a blessing.(...) But I do think too, that it's important to be mindful of what is God actually calling you to? Yeah, because if you're not careful, you can spread yourself too thin. And then you're not effective, right in the area that you need to be effective in. In fact, I read a book one time that actually talks about multitasking. And the crux of it is saying that multitasking is a lie.(...) You can't actually be an effective multitasker, you end up dropping things, things end up dropping off. Right. This is a really good example, because even even the apostles at one point, when they were distributing bread in the book of Acts, right, the people start complaining, you know, about the distribution of the food. And the apostles say, it's not good for us to let go of the ministering of the word of God, and to help distribute bread. They weren't saying that that wasn't important. What they were saying is what God has called me to, I must be a good steward of that. Yeah, that's powerful. And so what did they do? They actually right chose, I think it was, they chose other men to help assist with the distribute the distributing of the food, while they right, took care of what God is actually calling them to do, which was the ministering of the word. So that's a good lesson for us. We need to be careful and be very mindful of what God is calling us to do and not spread ourselves too thin, and be a good steward of our time. Yes. Right. Amen. I mean, speaking about boundaries, you know,
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it's okay to say yes to helping. But it's okay to say no to being controlled. You don't want to say yes to being controlled. Yes. When you're talking when we're talking about the toxic, the toxic type of relationships, you know, sometimes we sacrifice sacrificial love. It's, I will give myself to,(...) for your good, you know, we almost take it as like, oh, we're talking about like in a relationship, you know, I want to, I have sacrificial love, it's like,
(...)
you're giving yourself for good, but you shouldn't destroy yourself for that love. Yeah. You know, there's there's that fine line of, you know, what's okay, and then what starts becoming toxic was what starts to kill your spirit. Right. So you just gotta be careful with that. That's a good point.(...) You deserve peace too. Yes. Amen.(...) Even good intentioned people can stray you from your purpose or from your peace.(...) Amen. So good intent, there's good intentioned tasks.(...) There's good intentioned ministries, even like I was saying, right? We got to remain focused. William Law said, if you have not chosen the kingdom of God first, it will in the end make no difference what you have chosen instead.(...) So that's a good example or a good reminder for us to stay focused.(...) Now, Ezra Taft Benson, I love this quote, when we put God first, all other things fall into the proper place or drop out of our lives.(...) Our love of the Lord will govern the claims of our affection, the demands on our time, the interest we pursue, and the order of our priorities. Is that not true? Yeah. Oh, that's powerful.(...) Amen. Love that. So be good stewards, all for the sake of right maintaining our peace, maintaining a proper focus and what we're supposed to do in life, and in the kingdom of God. But we should also be able to speak boldly and walk away when needed. Acts 18 six, check this out, referring to the Apostle Paul, but when they opposed him and blasted him, he was not able to do it. But when they opposed him and blasphemed, he shook his garments and said to them, your blood be upon your own heads. I am clean. From now on, I will go to the Gentiles.(...) Wow. That's strong. No, that's a strong response.(...) Amen. But he's saying you're not going to accept what I'm trying to do here through the Lord, what God is calling me to do, then I'm going to maintain my peace, and I'm(...) going to give this message to someone else. Yeah, that's crazy.(...) Anyways. Okay, so loving with boundaries looks like saying yes to God, but not to guilt. Don't let someone guilt tripping you to doing something that you don't feel comfortable in. Or like Dave was saying someone that is trying to assert their control.(...) Loving with boundaries looks like serving without being manipulated.
(...)
It also looks like giving without losing yourself. Dave, you touched upon that. But it's also forgiving while still protecting your heart and your peace. But it's also loving people without enabling dysfunction.(...) This one right here really resonates with me because I have a particular family member that has just been extremely difficult and every interaction is just proving to foster dysfunction.(...) And it's actually very sad because it's someone...
(...)
Well,(...) maybe I shouldn't go there. But I love this individual and we wish and pray the best for this person. And now kind of going back to what you were saying, David, where we should still pray for them. You know, pray for them. And I'm praying that God does a work in that person's life. And I don't know if they watch and tune into this, but unfortunately that dysfunction has resulted in us not being as close as I would like.(...) And that's the reality of it. But for the sake of maintaining peace within my family and for my own heart, I've had to remove myself a little bit from that. It doesn't mean I don't miss the person though. It doesn't mean that I don't pray for the person. It doesn't mean that I don't wish the best for the person. It just means for the sake of both, our lives, there needs to be a little bit of separation.(...) And I think that's another good example of separation can be a good thing and can be healthy from time to time. Yeah,(...) distance doesn't necessarily mean that you're canceling love, but it actually can start creating a healing for that purpose. Yeah, that's good. That's true. You don't need to just... When you're trying to put yourself away from that situation, don't take it as I'm being a bad person or this is not what God called me. This is not what God's instructing us to do. No, I mean, we've gone over examples of God had boundaries. Boundaries could be our godly. So just know that putting that distance doesn't mean that you stop loving that person. You stop praying for them. You stop blessing them, but you start creating that distance to allow the healing.(...) I mean, we're not intended to be close with everyone.
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Right? Like us, the four of us, we're really close. I mean, I can get on a call and share... But you got favorites. Is that what you're trying to tell me? No. What I'm saying is,(...) it's okay to have an inner circle. Jesus had an inner circle.(...) And it's okay to have others that may be outside of that inner circle, but you still have interaction with. I feel like there could be multiple layers, in other words, to relationships.(...) Some are in that inner circle and some aren't. And that's okay. It's healthy. In fact, boundaries are barriers.(...) Boundaries, excuse me, aren't barriers to loving others, but they bridge the gap between dysfunction and healthy love.(...) Amen?(...) Because we realize that some people we just don't see eye to eye with and it's okay. You can still have a healthy relationship, but have a little bit of separation and maintain the peace. Yeah, you don't have to dislike that person. You have to hate that person. There's something you don't have in common and it's okay. Like you said, we're not supposed to be best friends with everybody. You can have a group of friendship that is the one that you're okay with going out to eat or whatever. And then you have one that loves to do outdoorsy stuff.(...) That's having a healthy balance of friendships. Amen. Jesus himself, I had so many enemies. He was among so many of them. And he was still teaching. He was still going, but like you just said, not everybody accepted the gospel. And that was his own that did it. Yeah, it's true.(...) I love when you speak. I was going to just add to Brother Levi's story that I'm in that same situation.(...) And I pray for my whole family,(...) everybody.(...) Every day I pray for them. I don't want no bitterness, no nothing. Because that's where the enemy will attack you left and right and won't stop. That's true. That's the best way to do it. Just to have distance,
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whatever happens, happen. And just have that distance. Like Brother David said, it's not that I don't love them. I love them. Just like you said, you love them. You miss them. You wish you had a better relationship and same here.(...) But hey, but still you got to keep walking your walk.(...) And can I say, Nico, I love that you brought that up because for someone that might be in a similar situation that is going through, you know, maybe that type of dysfunction where they're trying to figure things out, either within a family, within a marriage, within whatever it is, right.
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It's okay to not be okay as you're figuring it out. Yeah, right. Because there are still going to be certain triggers that make it difficult. Amen. And so that's where even more so you got to take it to the Lord because God, I really need you to help me in this situation. Help me where my emotions don't start going all over the place when I see the person. Yeah. In other words, help me with my triggers. Yeah, put it in his hands. Yeah.(...) And the reason that's good is because it's not the other person's responsibility to manage your triggers. It's our responsibility to manage our triggers.(...) And so if there is right that discomfort regarding a relationship, man, we need God's help to manage that. Amen. And that's where, you know, coming back to my situation,
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man,(...) I think this is this these situations, especially within families,
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are some of the greatest examples of God's love, bro.(...) Because as because it's family, it hurts more. Yeah, right. It cuts deeper.(...) But when you're still able to still show face, and you're still able to show love and kindness,(...) especially now, and not on all your family situation, but within my family, right, this this particular person, I'm not sure exactly where they are with the Lord.
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And so my prayer is that when I choose to show love and still choose to accept that hopefully that'll touch their heart. And God will use that right to bring them closer to him. Wow. But it's tough, man. And we're not saying it's going to be easy. I guess my whole point now long winded way of saying we may still be working through some of those situations. Yeah, for sure.(...) Go ahead. This is not lose mine. And forget that God's interested in our walk with him, you know, he wants to have that relationship that he had in the beginning was Adam and Eve, or they were just talking back and forth, you know, like father and son. So you're absolutely correct. You know, let's not lose. Let's not lose track of the situation that you're going through, whether it was a family member, a good friend, you know, God is trying to talk to us at that point, he's working with us, it's like you said, it's going to be difficult at first. It's, you know, this, this positivity of praying for them and this and that it might not come right off the bat and don't think that Oh, I'm doing things wrong. That's evil.(...) God's working in you, God has to work in you before you can speak life. Yeah, just remember that God is life God is true. So allowed God to work within you. Amen. You know, seek them and all that will start coming out. Amen. Amen. All right, man, I love what we've touched upon already. I want to make sure we keep it moving though. So now let's talk about loving without losing yourself.(...) So we were we just covered a number of examples of how right the Lord showed us how to love others without enabling sin. We talked about how to set healthy boundaries. Now, let's talk about how do you do that without losing yourself? Because I think that's very important too. So setting boundaries without guilt. Now, right? We know that boundaries are biblical.(...) Proverbs 423 says above all else, guard your heart, or your heart for everything you do flows from it. Amen.(...) Now, if you look at that's not talking about your physical heart, right? It's actually talking about your mind, your thoughts, right, your emotions, your spiritual, your spirit, it's kind of it's all encompassing. And so God is talking about, for me, really, when I when I hear guard your heart,(...) guard your peace, guard your thoughts,(...) guard your emotions, guard it all. You know what I mean? And now there's a spiritual element to this too. But I think it's also applicable in our relationships. Yeah. And in terms of loving difficult people or right interacting in in within different or difficult relationships. Right. Guard your peace, guard your heart. I think it's important. Because those who are around you will influence how you feel, how you go about things. So absolutely, when you're, I mean, it's awesome. The first time I hear it that way. But as you're saying it, I'm going, Wow, absolutely, you know,(...) your own family members can, you know, hurt you, you know, your, your best friend can betray you. So absolutely protect yourself and that was, that was pretty good. It's amazing that Jesus, Jesus himself said, I, I leave you my peace and I give you my peace. Yes, those two elements are very strong. And that means I'm going to be with you every step of the way. And this crazy as we're doing this, but I leave that kind of sets us on a situation where people want to see how do we cope with situations?(...) How do we deal with this? I think society doesn't tell as much of that. We just they just see the finished product. They see that you were able to do it. But how did you go through because this is this is strong. Maybe some of these people that are hearing this, they don't know. And the only way out is either going to the extremity. Maybe I'm not needed in this world.(...) I'm talking about suicide. I'm talking about this is man, maybe I'm just so poor, problem problematic. I create so many issues around me. Because let's talk about the person that does hurt someone, right? And they have so many issues themselves that the only way to cope to that it's hurting someone else. I love that because you so here's the thing now. When we're talking about hurting other people and how you react to the situation, I write it, which I'm what I'm hearing from them. Yeah.(...) Because the thing is is that we don't we don't know what people are struggling with. So exactly. We don't know the type of day someone is having. You don't know the type of week someone is having. And I think now, you know, godly character comes into play now, right? Or we're really shedding a light on that, because God can also use you to change someone's day or life or week or month or whatever it is. When you show kindness, when they're expecting, right, an argument, when you show love, and they're expecting hate.(...) Yeah, that that's so powerful. Yeah. And God, especially now, referring to unbelievers. Yeah. God can use someone in that situation or use us right?(...) Instead of getting frustrated and choosing to be angry or choosing to show and, you know,(...) I don't know, exacerbate or frustration. God can use an act of love and kindness in that situation where someone may be expecting something different to where now it just prompts their heart to be a bit more open to the gospel. Yeah. prompts the heart to be a bit more open to like, Whoa, wait a second. Because that'll stop someone in their tracks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we're always talking about the victim. We're the victims. We're the ones that always get hurt. We're the ones because that's normal. It's painful. You want to kind of express yourself about it. But let's talk about the person that creates it, or the person that is hurting the oppressor. Yeah, the one that is constantly this let's see this because some of those people are actually acting of something that they can't get rid of. And the way to mitigate themselves is to hurt someone. Yeah, it's a cycle. You're honest with you. That's what it is a cycle.(...) Because if you don't heal, heal, you'll get that anger and then you're going to treat someone like that. Yeah, yeah, that person is gonna, oh, you treat me like that. So it's a cycle. So that person that's giving you the trouble that he, he or she or they went through something, or going through something, and they don't know how to deal with it, or they don't know how to heal from it yet. Yeah, yeah. It goes back to what we were talking about in the beginning. It's just it's just pray for them. Yeah, speak well of them. That's, you know, because we don't know what they're going through. Yeah, sure. I love that, Nico, because really, what we're seeing is the difficulty in their life, or whatever it is that they're going through is manifesting in that behavior,(...) right? It's manifesting itself in that behavior. And so if we start looking at it that way, we start realizing we can, it's much easier for us to have compassion now. Amen. Because I know that that's not really you, right? Now, some people are just rude in nature and difficult in nature, and they like to be that way. And they get a kick out of that. Not talking necessarily talking about that person. But someone that you know might be going through something right. And you can sense that. And that's why it's important to be in the spirit now, because God will give you that discernment. I know this person isn't being difficult, because I know they're normally not like that, they must be going through something. So instead of me now responding with anger myself, I can now have a bit more understanding towards that situation and be like, no, bro, is everything okay? My friend, what are you going to pray for you? Yeah.(...) Just start praying for you bro. If you need anything, let me know. We're here for you. Right. And that shifts the situation. Yeah, dramatically. I mean, are we not like that with our spouses when we have a long day at work? Yeah, we come home and they just want to talk and we're so quiet, we just want to shut everything down. I mean, that's a sample of, you know, less, less critical example of the somebody like you said, you know, why are they so aggressive? Why are they so angry? Why are they going at me? For no reason? What's what's going on in their lives? Yep. Absolutely.(...) So now we're talking about setting those boundaries without guilt.(...) Okay, I want to mention too, that we should follow Jesus example. And we've touched upon that a little bit. But even Jesus took time to rest, pray, and to say no, right? He loved sacrificially, but wasn't available 24 seven to everyone. And neither should we don't feel guilty for having limits. And I also, and I love this, or remember, God is the Savior, not us. Amen. Which means that we should be very careful about not burdening ourselves or carrying weight of others, even family, when God isn't calling you to do that. Can't heal people. Right.(...) Jesus calls people to him, not to you. Yeah. That's a good reminder for some of us because sometimes in our lives, we'll hold on to certain even ministries. Yeah. Because we feel like, Oh God, what if, you know, if I walk away from this Lord, how is that going to impact people? And now I do think it is spirit or spiritual maturity to be mindful whenever you step maybe away from ministry and into a different ministry to be mindful of that is number one is God leading you to do that. Yeah. Right. But also to maintain a good testimony on how right you transfer that ministry on to someone else, especially if there's hurt or difficulties in a relationship, make sure you maintain a good testimony so that you don't hurt people. Amen. That's also important. But if God is calling you to do something else, and we're wanting to hold on to something else, God, you know, God isn't calling people to us. Right. He's calling him unto himself. Yes, exactly. So we need to be mindful of that. Love others well, but don't take the responsibility for what only God can do in their lives.(...) Amen. Amen. We're talking about loving others, setting those boundaries without bringing on guilt to ourselves.
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Now, how can we discern the difference between loving someone unconditionally and enabling toxic behavior?(...) Number one, unconditional love reflects God's character. First Corinthians 13 four and seven says, love is patient and love is kind. Love does not envy your boast. It is not arrogant. And then verse seven says, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.(...) Amen. Here's what unconditional love looks like. Loving someone no matter what they've done.(...) And that's difficult.(...) Showing grace, patience and forgiveness.(...) It also means hoping and praying for their healing and redemption.(...) Come on now. Is that not difficult? Yes. Someone that has hurt you deeply. Are you going to go and pray for them for their healing and for their redemption for the salvation of their soul?(...) They need salvation themselves too. Yeah, they do. We're talking about spiritual maturity now. Do we go do that or do we want justice? No, justice. Right. Right. Come on now. God is calling us to a deeper level of spiritual maturity.(...) Choosing love even when it's hard. This is unconditional love. Now here, here's what unconditional love is not.(...) Here it is tolerating abuse or sin without addressing it. That's not unconditional love because we saw the example, right? The Samaritan woman, Jesus addresses the sin. He forgives her. He actually restores her. Then he tells her go on and sin no more. Yeah. Amen. You can address it in love, but you don't enable the sin or you can address the toxic behavior without enabling it. You can still do that from an act of love. Amen.(...) But unconditional love is also not letting someone repeatedly violate your peace or your safety.(...) Amen. And it's also not saying yes to avoid conflict.(...) I know this one resonates a lot with people, I think, because most people don't like conflict, especially women.(...) They don't want to have those difficult conversations.(...) They don't want to have to address things even though it might be necessary. My wife would disagree with you.
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My wife probably, well, within our home, my wife will tell me right away real quick, hey, you're wrong.(...) Amen. Let's talk about it. Yeah, we're gonna talk about it. Sit down. Yes, in here. Yeah. But outside of the home, right outside of our spouses, most people don't want to have, right, that type of conflict. But it is okay to say no and not feel guilty about it. It's because not resolving
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or not addressing the issue actually results into not trusting. Yes. Eventually, it's, well, if there was an issue, you didn't address it.(...) Now that it's coming something later, you just don't want to be, man, it feels like there's no interest to it. I think part of our character is to address it, to learn from it, so that on the next phase of your life that you're going to deal with something you're going to be able to know, right, as a person that needs to address it, as a person that needs to hear it from from you.(...) And it's a it's a big responsibility to just get it over with. Now, I want to say this too. I want to touch upon loving and difficult or loving people that are difficult in the context of ministry. Now I want to touch upon that because I think that's important. I know a lot of people that tune in here are involved in a certain level of ministry within their church.(...) Now, if you haven't had a difficult situation with someone in ministry, my friends, let me tell you, it's going to happen. You haven't been around long enough then because it will happen. There will be difficulties in ministry. There will be disagreements in ministry,(...) even within leadership, where leaders don't agree. And dare I say, even between you and your pastor potentially.(...) Now, I want to say this, it is important to maintain a good testimony. It is important to know that you guys are on the same team. We're pushing something, in this case, the love of God. We're pushing the gospel. We're pushing kingdom work together as a team. But that doesn't always mean that we're going to see eye to eye.(...) There will even be within the context of ministry difficult relationships.(...) And so it is important to maintain a good testimony, love in that ministry. Right. And now that may mean you need God's help to do that because sometimes it is tough.
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It could be, you know, even within the church.(...) This is not only outside of the church. This is also within the church. Amen. Where difficult situations come up. Actually, we need to learn how to navigate those. I went to something like that in my early years of my marriage.(...) And I said, I said with all respect, with respect and love.(...) There was a, like in leadership, there was a disagreement and some things were said.(...) And this situation was with my pastor at that time, Pastor John, who I love dearly.(...) And there were some situations that happened. And I'm pretty sure this happens to many pastors you have heard or they have said something that has hurt you. And for a long time, I was very hurt.(...) And I began to heal that process by just confronting and talking to him. Yep. I began to be very close to him to a point where I love that man so much. And I forgive them and I love them up to this, to this point. I feel like he's a great man of leadership. Yeah. And I see all the struggles that he went through as a pastor.(...) And it shifted from being hurt to understand his position as a leader. Yeah. He's still a man that makes mistakes to love what he loved, which is the church.(...) So it turned to from not understanding to understand his role.(...) And I started to love the people. I started to be passionate about what he was passionate about. And I started to see through the eyes and I would collaborate and say, pastor, you know what, I'm thinking that if the church would address this way, and he was, you know, I mean, let me tell you something about this. We will share long hours of conversations. You would tell me, "Miho, if you would not only know the stuff that I have to go through to forgive someone,(...) sad stories, I mean, I'm talking about, they have this expectancy of pastureship. You have to be this, you have to be that. But they're still human. And for me to see that and that, I will not, if I would not forgive them with the love of God,(...) I will not be able to see that. Yes. And it took me to that point to see it to say, I have to overcome this.(...) And then I'm pretty sure someone you're hearing this, you're probably in the middle of that process is the hardest because you feel that that person who's leading you to the right path should do know these answers, or like you said earlier, should have the discernment to see how my heart feels, but he's not. God is allowing allowing just like he did with Paul. Yeah. Because he allowed that thorn so that he will be closer to his grace. What is it that God's trying to do through you in that situation?(...) You know what I mean?(...) And now here's the thing too, because a lot of times, most people I think would shy away from having, let's call it heart to heart conversations with leadership, even your pastor, but I want to, I want to kind of echo what you were saying, Vicente, because I think it's extremely important to recognize spiritual authority. God has placed your pastor as the spiritual authority over, right, that church or over your life.(...) So be very careful how we deal,(...) because let's be real, when difficult things come up, our instinct or our natural response is usually to criticize. Yeah. But I love what you were saying, and I want to echo that, because what we don't understand is how difficult a pastor has it.(...) And unless you've been in those shoes, you will never understand, my friend, how difficult it is to keep the church moving forward, to do God's work, and ultimately to manage people, especially the larger the church gets, the more difficult it gets, the more a pastor needs help. But I just want to, I guess, put a plug in and say, you know, we need to be, we need to have empathy, we need to have compassion for our pastors, because it's not easy. It's not easy. And the closer you get to your pastor, you see it more like you were saying. I want to add to that. It's, if it's taking you years to figure yourself out,(...) imagine what that pastor is doing to figure you out. Yeah, it's taking you, do you have to understand that there's a level of understanding that you need to see, he's going through a lot. Yeah, he's going through so many things. It's hard. And then top of that, he has to lead you the right path. Right. Imagine us that have kids, some days I'm like, man, it's tough. I only have three children.(...) Imagine, because I think it's similar, like you're managing people within the church, but you're also managing God's work. And, and you know, the, the spiritual kind of pulse, if you will, right to the church and where the church is at. But the managing of the people is difficult. Yeah. I mean, when my dad was a pastoring,(...) I saw him,(...) I used to go almost every weekend when he started past the pastoring. Yeah. And then I stopped going, maybe a month or so. And then I went back, man, I saw my dad with so many white hairs and God knows I like what in the world happened to him?(...) You came here with black hair, you know, this kind of thing.(...) And he shave his mustache and like, what in the world? And mom, what's wrong with dad? No, just situation at church and he's praying, he's fasting. Yeah. And then, well, to balance, like you were saying to balance your household, my mom was sick once in a while here and there and still deal with, with church people and still deal with this and that. And I'm like, wow, it was just, it's a lot. It was a lot. And I saw my dad like, oh, wow, dad, you need anything. No, no, I'm good. That's why praying for your pastors is important. And now, I'm not going to sit here and say, I always pray for my pastor.(...) I need to do that more than I do it, to be honest.(...) Now, with that said, I do think it's important because someone I'm sure will comment and say, well, you don't know my situation and you don't know what I'm going through and you don't know what happened. Sure. To that, I would say test the spirits. Right. Like the Bible says, that doesn't mean blindly following leadership. Yeah. No. As long as right to the best of their ability, right. The leader, whoever that is, or the leadership team is trying to lead from a biblical standpoint, from a mature spiritual standpoint. My goodness support. Yeah. Right. Because it is difficult, but that doesn't mean if someone is, is if you see fruit that is, let's say rotten or spoiling, right? I'm not saying to blindly follow. I'm saying be mature. And if you have to have a heart to heart, even with your pastor from time to time, that is also a healthy thing. Right. Because what that does is potentially God might be able to use you right to, you know, I don't know, maybe shift things right within the focus of a particular area in the church or to bring growth in another area. At the end of the day, what I'm saying is support, but don't blindly follow. Be mature. Test the spirits. But, you know, my hope is in prayer is that for the most part, no one has to worry about, you know,(...) leadership that is doing things to hurt people. Hopefully there's not. I know we're not in that situation, thankfully. But, you know, pray for your pastor, pray for the leaders of the church and support. And if you are in a difficult situation in the church and ministry, whatever it is, maintain your testimony, because that is also another form of loving, difficult people. It could be in ministry, like we're saying.(...) So, but maintain your testimony and let God use you in that situation.(...) Amen. All right. I know time is getting away from us, so let's keep it moving.(...) We talked about what God can do through you in that situation in terms of loving, difficult people.(...) But the talking points here I want to mention is bitterness versus healing. We talked about bitterness earlier.(...) When you forgive someone, it really frees you from that bitterness. Amen.(...) And it brings healing.(...) Let's see. We talked about praying for those who hurt us, even when we don't feel like it, which can be difficult. But what is it that God wants to do in us through those hard relationships? Forgiveness sets us free from bitterness. We talked about that already. But Jesus said to forgive 70 times seven. That's found in Matthew 18. I won't belabor that because that was already brought up. But that example reflects God's own mercy towards us.(...) Amen. Amen. How many times does not God forgive us time after time after time? And that let that be a good reminder. Now, when you go on church on a Sunday, let that be a good reason for you to just lift up your hands and for you to just meditate on how good God is towards you. Because I mean, that's a time to release.(...) Yeah, right. But it's like if we're real, it's like, God, thank you for your mercy because Lord knows that we don't deserve it. And it's interesting that you're saying this because sometimes we blame God on a situation that a brother hurt us from.(...) And we go to church and you just saw, "Don't know how they're all
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God, I'm not going to give you my worship because it's not gospel." And then you forgot that we got sustained. You got saved from an accident. God gave you a promotion. God bless you. Bless you here. Your family is healthy. And then all of a sudden you get one opportunity to be in God's presence and you're all, "Man, that brother." Look at him. He said on the other side because of me. And you're putting all these thoughts in your mind that it was because of that. But God says, "I loved you since the beginning before you were born.(...) You were in my mind and you're giving me this."
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That's maturity.(...) You have to give your all in every... That's what the Bible says, to be thankful in every state of your life. To love them in every state of life. That doesn't mean just when you're good and when everything's going good. It means at your worst, at your lowest, at your...(...) Emotionally, someone has hurt you. You got to praise God. What if that's the opportunity God is testing you? See, how much can you handle? Because I'm about to give you something bigger. And if this little petty stuff knocks you down, you're not ready.
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So we talked about verses on how God is instructing us and teaching us to forgive.(...) So now talking about obedience because I'm a firm believer, man, that obedience is a doorway to blessings.(...) God requires obedience more than does sacrifice.(...) So the more we're obedient, the more God is able to release blessings into our lives. And now this is a difficult one because there may be people listening in and us right now on the chairs that are like, forgiveness might be one of the most difficult in terms of being obedient and because you're hurt, you're scarred, right? Your emotions potentially are all over the place. Like we said, especially if it's within the context of family, it could be really difficult. But God is calling us to forgive because it releases you because God wants to do things in your life and unforgiveness might be blocking that blessing.(...) Amen. What is God calling you to do in ministry now where that unforgiveness is blocking you?(...) I mean, come on, let's get deeper now. What is it that God is doing in your marriage that God wants to do in your home, in your children's lives, where that unforgiveness that hasn't been resolved in your marriage is blocking that blessing?
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What is it that God wants to do in your career?(...) Because we're not mature, because we hold on to unforgiveness. We hold on to that bitterness and that anger, where God is saying if you would only see what that is doing from a spiritual standpoint, not only is it hurting your heart, you talked about from a medical standpoint, what it does to your body, but also from a spiritual standpoint, your emotions, your heart, your heart starts to become hardened.(...) You're no longer kind, you're no longer willing to forgive, you're no longer compassionate towards others because there's unforgiveness in your life.(...) And my friend, if I could just say and pause,(...) please take a moment, if that's you, take a moment to think about and ponder what is it that that's doing in your life and what could that potential be blocking from God doing in your life?(...) Because that is powerful. God is requiring obedience. We're talking now about what is it that God is doing through us in those hard relationships. We said forgiveness sets us free from bitterness, but it also develops godly character in us and I know we talked about that. But number three, unforgiveness can block your own forgiveness.(...) Now we said it'll block blessings, which is also true, but what does the Bible say in Matthew chapter six verse 15, but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses. I mean, that's as clear as it gets. If you want mercy, give mercy.(...) Amen. Be mindful of how God treats us and let's treat others that way. Wow. But forgiveness brings freedom, peace, healing and alignment with the heart of God. That is the heart of God is forgiveness(...) mercy.(...) Like you said, we sent down the cross,(...) right? But forgive or God forgive them for they not they know not what they do.(...) If that right there doesn't show the heart of God. Wow. So(...) anyways, gentlemen, we're gonna close it up. I really enjoyed this conversation. I know a good one. This is powerful.(...) And hopefully, if you're watching and hopefully this is a blessing to you. And let me give a plug now if this ministry is a blessing to you in any way, please subscribe, follow, share, like the video. And if you know someone needs to hear this, please share it with them. But let's wrap it up with a word of prayer.(...) And then we'll close it out. God, we thank you, Lord, for this day, Father. But I thank you, God, because what your word is so deep, Lord, your ways are higher than our ways.(...) And you call us God, you are calling us Lord, your church God, Lord, to a spirit of unity.(...) And Father, I ask you that if anyone is listening in this conversation, God, that Lord has unforgiveness, or that is finding it difficult to love difficult people, God, that you would move in their lives, that you would bring us Lord to obedience, that you would bring us Lord to forgive that person, and God into develop godly character in our lives, Lord, through those relationships, help us love or those that we deem unlovable, because God, you know, Lord, that we are at times unlovable as well. Lord, we love you. We thank you, God, for your mercy and for your grace. We thank you, Lord, for your unfaithly love, God, towards us. And we give you the glory, God. We love you in Jesus mighty name. Jesus name.(...) Amen. Thank you again. Thank you. Amen. God bless you. God bless you. We'll see you next time.