a Lighthouse with Shailendra Aswal

What if support didn’t steer your life—but lit the way forward?

In this episode, we sit down with Shailendra Aswal, coach and Chief Navigating Officer at My Life Kompass, to explore the lighthouse as a metaphor for personal growth: a steady beam, an early warning, and a safe harbor to regroup before heading back out to sea.

Rather than taking the wheel, we discuss how great coaching fosters clarity and safety—so you can navigate your own waters with confidence. We unpack transformation from both sides of the lantern: how coaches must tend their own light through physical, mental, and spiritual practice, and how clients build self-awareness until it shines reliably, even in rough weather.

Expect vivid metaphors and practical tools—anchors as daily habits, storm-sensing as emotional intelligence, and intentional pauses to chart your next course. We also explore why insights often stay locked inside one-on-one sessions—and how a shared harbor can turn private breakthroughs into communal wisdom that helps many boats avoid the same rocks.

Zooming out, we ask: how can we balance individual freedom with the strength of community? This episode offers a middle path—sail when you need to, dock when you should. You’ll hear about building safe spaces, using stories as portable lighthouses, and protecting your sense of worth in a world that moves faster than ever.

If you’re navigating change, craving connection, or ready to be a lighthouse for someone else, this conversation offers language, practices, and hope you can use today.

If it resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s at sea right now, and leave a review to help more people find their harbor.

Transcript

Setting The Lighthouse Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to What Makes Us. This is a podcast exploring and how we develop as people through our experiences and connections between individuals, with groups, and amongst society. We'll be bringing on guests to discuss how they've come to be who they are. And along the way, we may end up learning something about ourselves. So please sit back and enjoy your listening to What Makes Us. Welcome to What Makes Us. I'm your host, Brian Hooks, and I have an amazing guest with us today because the topic here is really, really good. Today's topic is what makes us a lighthouse. Shell uh Aswald is my friend, and I would say collaborative, coaching, collaborative, but I'm gonna say coaching accomplice. Because uh, whatever trouble we get into, he's gonna be my accomplice. So uh I'm really excited for our conversation today. We've had a lot of good stuff. Absolutely. Um and this is really uh, I just really think it's gonna be an amazing conversation. So please tell us a little bit about yourself and what inspired you about this topic of a lighthouse.

Coaching As Lighthouse Metaphor

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Sure. First of all, thanks for hosting me here today, Brian. Really lovely. I've been listening to your podcast, and um, I just uh was quite taken aback in terms of the format which you have used uh for your former style that you let your guests come with the topic, and that is a lot of ownership for the guests to take it forward. But uh after listening to the episodes, I realized that it's really a great opportunity you have created to for people to be able to talk about topics and stuff which is which is in their life and something they just want to share it their way. Yeah, then you may have those things running in your mind, but I don't think you get an opportunity to share it like that. So thank you very much, first of all, for that. Yeah, so a little bit about myself. Uh my name is Shailendra. Um, I settle in Bangalore, India. I have pretty much traversed the cross country stuff. So I'm from the north part of the country. Okay, down south has been 25 years for me now. And anyone who's, and you know, now I think you are, you know, you are getting a flavor of it. Anybody who has been here, um, India on its own is like a world map. Uh you just travel, you just change everything. So the whole experience of from a cultural change perspective, every aspect of it is an experience. So I have thoroughly enjoyed the transition from there. Uh, from a professional journey perspective, I have been into uh corporate world and also you know do my own stuff. So I've been a mix of both entrepreneur journey, something which has excited me early in my career. Uh, but then I have also been very fortunate being able to work with large corporates. So my journey has transcended from uh entrepreneur journey to Yahoo to Uber and in between, you know, stuff on my own in between. Uh, but all of them has been a great, great learning opportunity. And yeah, it's been it's been uh a few years, little little close to three years plus, that I have been full-time into coaching journey now, life coaching journey, and that seems to be uh perfectly you know anchored place for me. I'm just enjoying the journey, so that's where I am. Uh coming to topic, life house. Uh so yeah, so Brian, the way I see it, you and I, in a way, I see have a very similar path. You know, uh taking the path where you're saying, okay, there's a standard journey which you take, but you're able to take a moment and say, can you reflect on and you know look at something different, which is your inner calling? Uh, and the way I see it is that we both have taken a transformation journey and we found that place in coaching. And and also in Bangalore. So we're just both sitting here. Yeah, that's true. That's really true. That's that's really great to see. Um, and for me, uh, this metaphor, the using the lighthouse thing, it's not it was not very clear when I started the journey. And uh while I started my coaching conversations, I I was kind of looking at the question which was coming to me is like, what is the relationship I'm sharing with my client? Yes, there was a whole you know spiel to it, and I was able to fit in, uh, being able to position it because coaching is a vast area, and I was trying to look for in terms of easy way both for myself to be able to connect with and also uh to everybody else around me. And uh during one of the thought processes, uh the metaphor which came to mind is a sailboat. Uh, the way I see it, my clients are the captain of their life. Yeah, they're riding their life, they have their own boat. And but one of the key elements is once you have that kind of a voyage started, a lighthouse plays a very crucial role in the journey. And moreover, uh now that I have, and I think you can correct very well that we are in this whole you know journey of coaching, you realize that we are not riding our clients' boat, we are not riding their journey, but we play a very important role to ensure that we illuminate the path for the future ahead and also ensuring that you know if there is anything which is there for them to crash out, we are able to give them early warnings and stuff. So that is pretty much the role which we are playing. So Lighthouse came from that perspective. And I think once I got that metaphor, I was one is able to uh put it in context very quickly, very easily, both for myself and for my clients. And also it gave me a very clear path in terms of my relationship understanding and also what I really need to do, prepare myself in the role of a coach. So that is the genesis of lighthouse art. Yeah. So sorry, that's a long answer to a very short question, but thank you.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Oh well, that's that's the whole purpose of that short question, right? Correct. That's uh, you know, as we've talked about it, the metaphor is so deep. Correct. It's super deep, right? Um, being a lighthouse for your client to be able to give those early warnings and and prepare them for what's coming ahead, right? Um, and so I I just love that. Uh I really do. How you know, how has the lighthouse concept come for you and like how has it shown up in your life at this at this point?

SPEAKER_01 6:30

So I'll have to take you back in my early days of my journey. Uh, this is something which I have been sharing with in a lot of my conversation that I am very I feel that I am very blessed. I feel I'm very lucky to always have some great uh, you know, uh people at the right place, right time. I really owe it to them. And over the years, uh it's always very easy when you look at things in the hindsight. You are able to draw the right inference. And when I look back, it's a long history. Uh, it's not something which happened by accident. Yeah. So two things happened. So I can see that yes, there are people who have always been uh for me in the right place, and it's not that they are there in terms of just telling me what to do, but they're just there. I mean, many a time I found moments of inspiration by just observing somebody, the way they were behaving in a certain environment. I've also found inspiration by somebody just sharing something, it could be very small stuff. One moment of feedback has transformed my way of thinking. So these are various, so the way I see these are lighthouse moments in your life, which has transformed me. The only thing is not that I was very conscious about it and saying, okay, I'm looking for lighthouse moment. That's not the way it was. Right, right. Uh, I was just, but yes, I was always looking for guides, always. Uh, there was an inclination to look out for guide, and uh, I kind of continued the journey. Uh, so that is the way I mean the lighthouses have kind of over a period of time uh you know, have been in my house uh in my life. I don't think so. I had the vocabulary at that point of time to tell them, okay, these are lighthouses today. Right just makes it easy. And that is, I think, the power of you know, um, having uh a metaphor. Right? So suddenly I'm able to uh explain all these things very easily, all these you know milestone moments when I look back in my life using the lighthouse metaphor. So yeah, so those were the lighthouse moments for me. Those are the moments which kind of you know uh shaped a lot of my decision making. Are they were pivotal moments in my life, and I think I owe to them. And and that that's that's pretty much I think the genesis of my journey so far when I connect with lighthouse moments. Yeah, no, thank you.

Transformation For Coaches And Clients

SPEAKER_00 8:43

You brought up something about transformation, and I'm sitting in my mind thinking about this like how does the lighthouse play into this transformation? Because as you've talked about, me and you uh we're similar but also different, right? We've come from different angles, but we find ourselves in this place. And I've always believed that everything is connected. Um, and so that's a super important aspect for me. And transformation showing up as this beacon, truly it kind of encapsulates this lighthouse thought process, right? Like it's a beacon, like there's a light shining um out there, and as you are captaining your boat to stay within this, you but you don't necessarily know that's a transformation, right? And so you're not. Yeah. So I'm just that transformation in in the lighthouse is just kind of playing in my head right now.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

So let me let me uh uh you know the first part which you just mentioned between us, and it's very interesting that if we have to just hold on to that thought and see how is the transformation landing, uh, how are we uh contributing to the transformation in this road? So, first of all, there's two things which has happened here. One, our own transformation journey, taking that bold step and saying that we will take this path where we'll be kind of helping people out, right? So that is such a transformation for us. But how are you enabling the transformation for our clients? Is very interesting. You are using uh a system of strength finding, right? Right. That's what you're using. Your you know, the whole strength finder expertise which you are building upon, your BCH coaching stuff. To me, that is uh way. I'm using the route of navigation, I'm creating a harbor. Now, both of us have a very different approach to the stuff, uh, but the objective is the same. Right. So we are on for the same path. The idea here is very clear that you know anybody who would like to look for something where they can come, uh, you know, get more tool set, get more expectative, uh maybe perspective, get more inspiration can come there and be able to go and after that go on their life. And that's pretty much we both are looking forward to do. But our approaches are different.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

So that's the way I look at it from a transformation journey. Uh, it's a two two uh it's a two-stage thing. One is your own journey, and then being able to see what you can contribute for somebody else, and to do that, what you're really creating. And uh, but the other thing is I also see that transformation is not also an end of a journey. So when I say lighthouse, from um uh if you move out of the metaphor, it's literally a structure which is just there, it doesn't move. Right. So you may say that are you saying that you have arrived, you have moved. No, that's that's not the point because uh I am just one lighthouse. There are so many other lighthouses there, right? And then how do you maybe the better word or better analogy will be I'm more of a lighthouse keeper. You know, I my job is to ensure that the light is is out there, is burning. And uh the way that really builds upon is that if I need to serve the lighthouse in the right way, which in serves the client, I need to be in the best of my version, both physically, mentally, and spiritually. And and that's my journey. So my journey does not end here. I will have my own navigation and journey ahead uh while I'm still contributing to somebody else by bringing this transformation. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Lighthouse keeper, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:15

That's it. Right, I think we yeah, thanks. So this is this is interesting, right? Yeah, this is how it goes to the next level, and suddenly I think, yeah, that makes sense. Um yeah, I think Lighthouse Keeper is the next extension, right? It gives the room for me or us as a coach to continue our own journey.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Yeah, because truthfully, we as we are growing, right? Like it it doesn't stop for us either. Yeah, so not, it cannot because we are also captains of our own ships, we're also out there on the seas, and we are constantly changing and moving. Right. And so to be able to adapt, yeah, right. And I think when I think about staying with the metaphor of being out to sea, right? As a as you are out to sea, you're out in your journey, a lighthouse is in those spaces where you're seeking safety to a certain point, right? It's at least in now I'm not a sailor, so I don't but my the concept of the lighthouse is that it's usually a space that is uh aware that there's a danger and also aware that there is a safe place to absolutely to stay. Right? It's the it's that signal. Yeah. Yeah, I I'm I'm kind of caught in this.

Safe Space And Early Warnings

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Yeah, and thanks for bringing that word. I'm sure in our coaching conversation, one of this is a very sacred word, right? I mean, I think what we have learned, and for any coach, the biggest responsibility to start a conversation before you get into the context of the conversation is to create a safe space. Right. Right. I think that is the most meaningful thing, uh so-called uh really a difference between any coach and a great coach will do. Right. Rest of everything is supposed to. So the ability to be able to create the safe space for your clients, I think is is is a holy grail of uh safe.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Right, right, it's paramount because you know, as we've been talking with our clients, right one of the biggest needs is uh is to feel that they can be able to express who they are, right, what they're doing with no judgment. Correct, right? Because there's enough judgment in the world, and that's kind of the thing that most of us are running away from right now, right? Is not is not to be judged.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

And uh because there is such a critical element of how do you be yourself, right? And so as I'm thinking through this lighthouse, you know, how does someone see this light, right? Because there comes a point, I feel like I've been on the seas, right? And I may not know that I need a safe harbor. Right? Like I see the I see the light, but I'm like, do I need to go that way?

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Do I need to go there?

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah um, and I'm still out there on the seas wandering at that point. I'm like having moments of sitting there thinking about my own journey of like, when was I wandering out, not knowing where safety that I needed to be safe to be able to continue this transformation.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Yeah. No, that's uh that's a very great question. That's a very great perspective. And something if I reflect back, you're right. If I only position it like from a perspective about go seek for the lighthouse, I don't think it would really work that way. Right? Yes, you may be in an environment, uh, let us make it very tactical and say, okay, you you are an organization and say, you know, there's a sponsored coaching program, you go and you just do it. Somebody's already done it for you. That's one way, and you may find a moment where you're not even thinking about it, but that's not something uh which you have designed. Right. And uh the perspective I have on that is let us extend this thing about light a little more deeper. And the way I see it, I think the journey which we're talking about, it before we make that external journey of finding that lighthouse, it is about the internal journey first. So if we have a moment in life where we say, you know what, I need to pause, and that is what I I would really have anybody, anybody before they even think about going for coaching, is to spend time to say what is this, just put the light inside you. Be your own lighthouse for a moment. And once you do that, you scan your stuff, look around. I think the reflection which will come out, whether you need a coach or not, it'll just become clear to you. I think it'll just come very naturally. Yeah, your acceptance or even the yeah, I think the acceptance is the word that say, you know what, I need a coach, will just be will fall very organically. Versus you say, you know what, I don't know what to do, and looks like people are trying various things and coaching is one of it, I go for it. That may not be the best way. Yeah. But if you reach out to a coaching conversation before you have put the light a little bit inside, I think that'll be a really great conversation to have. What do you think?

Self-Awareness As Inner Light

SPEAKER_00 17:29

I I think it's really interesting because the first thing that came to my mind when you said that was self-awareness. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Right, right? That's the introspection to be to be able to be introspective. And I'm wondering how often are people able to be self-aware and like truly dive into you know to be able to be their their own lighthouse, right? Because I find it, I don't know, I find people and I find even myself, right? There's a time where I don't want to, I don't want to look into myself, right? Like I don't want to spend time with me. Me is making me upset. Right. But it's important to find that space. Yeah, and I think that's when that light also becomes really important, right? Because sometimes you need to have something shown to you, right? So it goes both ways, right? You're looking for the light, and when that light is there, someone's also putting that the spotlight on you to say, like, hey, are you okay? Like, what's going on with you? Yeah, something's off, right? And uh the importance I said this earlier of connection, right? Like we're we're connected in some way to someone else. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

No, I think you brought in a couple of quite deep thoughts. Uh let's start with the self-awitness part. Before we get deeper into that, at least the way it's landing for me now is that I firm, and this is again something which I keep sharing in multiple forums, is that my observation is that we as individuals, at least in today's time, we have become, I think intellectually, we all are able to grasp what we we are saying. Yeah. So you you if you if you tell somebody self-awareness, uh going inward, meditation, intellectually, what does it mean? I think people get it. Right. And but the difference is are you able to be the practitioner? Are you able to show the results which come out of these practices? Right. And that's the difference between the people who are able to do that versus who only process it intellectually. So we have this large population, all of us, that we are able to intellectually process it, talk about it, and one moment and we're just back into our world, right? That's what happens. But the difference between anybody else who's anchoring into those practices, what this really means, is able to hold that thought for a long period of time. And that comes back to the your your in terms of habit building stuff. And I think there is no, I don't think so. There is any other way. Um journey steps are the same. First, you have to internalize it, means you have to have an intellectual understanding about it, right? And then spending time with that, creating some kind of a habit around that so that it becomes your second nature.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

I think that is the path, that's no other way I can think of for doing it, whatever you call it, whether you go do a practice of uh uh you know uh self-awareness or whatever label you have it for that, uh, but that's the way second part the thing about being aware that there's a larger thing at play. Uh, this is interesting that when you say, you know, we you just know that as if we were we were designed to meet, and there's a larger universal thing at the play. I don't know about others, but to me, that's the best validation when I reflect my life. I don't need any external validation to say that it just happens. You have a thought, and the whole thing about the universe conspires. Today I'm able to just see those patterns much more quickly because it just happens. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I mean, what? We we're talking about a very short journey of our uh conversations and knowing, and we're sitting here and really talking about a topic like this. It all comes from a perspective that uh we suddenly met and said, Okay, you know, we are talking about some topics which are really interesting, topics which are really something we really connect with and we are able to have a conversation around that. And not something I can just have it with anybody on the road, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:40

No, no, yeah, no, no, no. That would be uh completely different, I think, if as you're trying to connect those different things, especially if you're trying to find someone on the road to have a conversation with. You know, what stuck out to me, and I I think it's because I'm still in the metaphor, anchor. You brought up the anchor around self-awareness, right? How do you anchor yourself in that self-awareness? And when I think about an anchor, like when a person anchors, either they're anchoring when they are going through a storm, right? That's the first thing that came to my mind. Anchoring going through going through a storm, do you ride it out or do you hunker into wherever you are, right? Most times if you're in a storm, you want to find that safe harbor, right? You want to look towards the light for help, right? For the support. But sometimes you don't find that. And you and you have to either ride it out or kind of hunker down to manage it. Um, and that's what came to my mind when you said anchor. And the self-awareness, because one of my mentors, she always talked about introspective is like an onion.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Right? So onion on the outside is all covered up. You as you are diving into yourself, you peel back this onion. And in that onion, you get all the fumes, and you know, each layer is more and more intense. And you are usually crying, there's some kind of discomfort that is happening in this layer. And that's how I think of about self-awareness for me. And it's once you get to the root of the onion, there's no longer this strong smell anymore. It still may be some discomfort, but you've gone to the root, right? And you are able to then hopefully navigate, right? You're able to figure out what was causing all this discomfort. Why I did all this deep dive, I'm able to figure it out because I've peeled back these layers. And as I think about it in our metaphor here as the storm, and I'm anchoring myself in, like, how do I, you know, and then I've navigated this rough seas. So that's you know, that connection right now is really strong for me of like self-awareness and anchoring is a really important aspect, which I don't think many people end up doing, right? Like I think when I first started doing deep dives and understanding, I think I was just kind of just going with it and was completely lost. Right? Like I ended up in a space I didn't know. I didn't know how to I didn't know how to navigate that, I didn't know how to come out of that, right? And it wasn't until someone, you know, figured out that I wasn't in a good space. Absolutely. Yeah, I can totally connect.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

So as as you're talking about it, that anchoring really came strongly for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Um, it is. I think um that is a very key part of this whole uh navigation system, right? Anchor is a very and you um you brought two scenarios. One is in terms of storm, which you don't have any control, right? But you have options. Oh, either you are anchoring on your own or you are in a harbor and it doesn't matter, right? The storm is there, but you're harbored well. And before I get into that, um the example which you shared about onion, and especially if you look at the journey of self-awareness, I just like to say that we're talking about a very large onion here.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

It's not the little is not the little photo stuff.

Anchors, Storms, And Habits

SPEAKER_01 25:36

I can think of reading the same other onion. I mean, you know, we are really we have a lot of layers there. Right, right. And we can claim that you have reason that place. I mean, yes. Take the ball.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

I appreciate that, right? Like the size of the onion. Is it a big yellow onion, red onion, or is it a little sambar onion? Right. That that would tell you the how strong of this.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Self-awareness journey, I think it's a large journey. That's as a visual metaphor which came to mind. So that's great. That's a great way to look at it and you know, uh contextualize it. Um so coming to this part of the anchor, and this is um something to share. Uh, one of the journeys which has currently is going for me has organically grown, uh, especially for this reason, into something more than coaching. And that is where uh I'm in a path in terms of creating this hubber, uh, because I realize that while we are very clear as a coach's role, we're not riding our clients' board. But one thing which has also been in my mind is that at the end of the day, we are humans. We're having the conversation because if I can just draw so clear boundaries and not feel anything about it, I am pretty sure Chat GPT will do a very good job. Right? Okay, yeah, yeah. But because I'm human and I'm saying goodbye to my client, we have aligned on something, we have agreed on something. I know there's a lot of work which that captain has to do before he or she takes the next journey path. And that's the thought which I was running with and say, is it possible for me to create something for them outside the coaching purview? And interestingly, what also happened, Brian, was that while I'm in the journey for uh coaching, I also started meeting a lot of people who are practitioners in some of these uh things, which is which helps you in terms of on your self-development path, which helps you navigate your path better. And I'm not those experts, I don't have answers for those. I don't I cannot give those practices to my client. But the opportunity which I saw was there can I create a harbor where all of these are there in place? Uh people can dock their boat, they can recoup, rest, find inspiration, look for stories, share their own stuff, and the whole community can learn from each of those. And that is what is transitioning into my life compass. So that's that's one thing. Now you take the scenario of the anchor part which you just mentioned. Yeah. Um, so the way I think is that you cannot storm can come any point of time. Right. Right? Right. So there are two things we can do. You can only uh in terms of you can make yourself better, in terms of if you're really taking a literal way, you should be able to navigate your environment and be able to predict if the storm is coming. That's one thing which you can do. And second thing, once the storm hits, you are prepared. And as I said, storm will anyway come. So you becoming a better version of yourself, being able to see the storm is coming, is about your central practices. Right? I see that. Are you really having those practices of knowing yourself? Because the more your antennas in terms of being self-aware is there, you'll be able to have a sense that the storm is coming. Obviously, there'll be some storm which you have no clue, but once it hits, your anchor has to be very strong. And those anchors in life, the way I see it, are those tools, right? Are those practices which you have not just understood at the intellectual level, but really, you know, taken deep in and you can anchor yourself. Or the second option is that you have created, and that's where I think everything comes down to what you are going to do. So if you are looking, there is a storm which may not be there, like you will be perfectly riding uh your boat in a nice, sunny, calm sea. But there is a point where something will come. Yeah. But imagine if you have a safe harbor where you can dock your boat and you're there. So but to create that harbor, to be able to have access to that harbor, you will have to do something about it. And the way I see it is that while yes, my life compass is an offer from my side, that's what I'm creating. But each one of us can create a safe harbor around us. And if you really reflect that in your life journey, what has been your harbor of life? Many a times you are in a storm, who are your harbor? People around your family, your friends. So investment in those units, the family and the friends, always going to come handy. They are your safest hubber to be always able to dock your boat and stuff. Yes, there'll be moments where they don't have, you don't have access to them. But at that point of time, your self-practices is what is going to come handy for you. Those are becoming your anchor. That's the way I look at it. You know, anchoring alive from this metaphor.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah. I I think that's amazing because, as you know, the importance of having that self-support and being able to understand where to go.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Right? Like at the end of the day, where am I gonna go? Who do I trust? Who and and those being your your harbors. Yeah. Can you talk a little bit more about this life compass? Because I think it's a it's hugely important. Right. Um, as we were starting this, what makes us a lighthouse, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

I I don't think you can say lighthouse without the harbor. Right. Um, so yeah, can you talk a little bit about that?

Building A Harbor: Life Compass

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Yeah, I think um uh as I said, the genesis of this was more of an extension of coaching. That's what I see it. And it's just that once I had this metaphor kind of really cemented, uh, the bigger question was that all these interestingly, uh the client conversation which I had, most of them, uh, there is something they come with as a central theme of uh something they want to do or a challenge they were looking for, and by the end of the conversation, you you are kind of signing off in a position saying, Okay, good, I understand it, I had a reflection, this is what I'm going to do. But one thing which I saw in many of the cases, we don't we are we are not a very good judge of the stuff what happens in our own life. I don't think so. We are able to put a mirror to ourselves in a very nice way and say, Oh, you know what, that's great, that's a great story. True. And but when I hear it on the other side, there's a transformation story in all of them. And that kind of sparked this thought about it. These are nuggets, these are golden nuggets. These conversations being only restricted to a very contract-bound one-on-one conversation is not great. There has to be a way where these things can come out, and that was another reason in terms of creating uh life, you know, uh my life compass as a harbor thing where these individuals will come out and they can just share the story because you never know who else is there at that moment which you have passed, but somebody else, man, can get that little and that's the thing about light and dark, right? When it's dark, all everyone is looking for the little light. That's the whole thing, right? It's so natural. You're just looking for that one light, and that comes from anywhere. Yeah. So why to miss this opportunity? Yeah. So that's that's that's one of the that's one of the layers. And uh from a metaphor extension perspective, I felt it's a very natural extension to keep the the core of the navigation as a as as a theme. So pretty much we are moving around all the core cardinal directions of east, west, north, south. Okay, the way we are looking forward to is that um yeah, all the directions are available to you. Each direction is going to take you into a separate path of both learning, evolving yourself, contributing, be part of the community. So that's the way we are we are structuring it. Yeah. I and I just said it is not about I think I I just see myself that I'm just I'm just a catalyst. I've just started this. But what I really see, this is going to be a community-based harbor. I just hope both sides in terms of people coming and being the anchor who can be there in the harbor and be able to create an offer for you know navigators who are going to come, they have to grow. And also navigators as they come and they can you know take stuff from there and continue the buzz. One thing is very clear. Um, I see that anything which uh I create, I don't see this like a permanent thing. I'm not looking forward to people to have you don't dock your ship for life in a harbor. Right. So the idea is very clear, it is just a temporary stuff, but it is powerful. You can refuel yourself, right? You can recharge yourself, but end of the day, it's your boat. Yeah. Only thing a harbor can do is to stack yourself well. You see the tool depending upon which side of your life is going, and our attempt will be that can we just provide you all that, what you're looking for, and let's move on.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Oh. I think that's that's amazing. I think that's amazing because uh, you know, what really besides the harbor concept is this removing all the all that learning from those isolated conversations and putting it out into the community. Right? Because that's that's uh that's at least how I've heard it, right? Taking all that, because you're right. Like we I sometimes I say really great things in a coaching session, and I'm like, I can't share this with anyone else. Get it, right? Um how do I how do I transmit this out? Because more people could could definitely do it. And having a harbor as a space, as a community coming together. Um I think is super.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

For this, uh, our west side of the cardinal direction, we are putting it all for learning. Right. And we have uh a space which you're calling it Compass Connect. That is where we look forward for these stories to be kind of gathered. Right. And uh yeah, I mean, and in that extension, as I said, I mean you're doing a great job uh with your podcast. And I think uh we look forward to uh see you there.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

No, no, I'll definitely be there because I I am a true believer of stories, right? Like and I just you know, and I think as a coach, I think you have to have a love of stories because there's no way you can do this and be with people without without that love of story. And um there is a you know, I had a conversation with a friend of mine, and we were talking about how we stand on the shoulders of of previous generations. Oh, yeah. Right? Like, and of those previous generations, it's the stories that they've told us that enlighten us of how we should, how we could move forward. Right, right, and that importance of story is is so huge. Uh I grew up in the village concept. Uh my my and this is really important for my family. You know, it takes a village to raise a child. Oh, yeah, right. And so all those stories, all those people coming together to provide wisdom uh to be able to grow. And I've and I feel like this harbor is just an extension of that, right? Absolutely. A village community coming together, sharing of stories, sharing of skills, sharing of knowledge, uh, so that whatever path you're choosing, you are going prepared and gonna be at your best when going out there, right?

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Very nice, very nice.

unknown 37:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

Yeah, that's I love that. I mean, and this is what I love, right? Once you have a thought and you leave it, it's so interesting that you took this harbor. Essence is the same, but you use another metaphor of village, and that's exactly what happens in a village setting. That's how many of us have been lucky enough to be able to grow in that kind of environment where it is, you know, uh it's a it's uh it's a cumulative responsibility uh of a community that they come together, but they are there, right? And yeah, exactly. It makes so much sense. So thanks, thanks for bringing that perspective.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Yeah, no, no. I I uh you know, it's interesting because growing up, I grew up in you know, America, right? Grew up in the US. It's a very individualistic community, right? Everyone is an individual, everyone is striving for their individual accomplishments. Right. But within that, there's pockets of collectiveness. But it's not it's not like a huge collective community, it's these small pockets of collective thought and and trying to bring people together. Here in India, I feel like it's the reverse. The collective is is here, yeah, yeah. And it's not a little collective, it's a very big collective.

SPEAKER_01 38:42

We always have people on the shoulder.

SPEAKER_00 38:43

Aunties and uncles are always around and always letting you know whether you want it or not, right? Like that's I think that's what I hear more of like I see the people's looks and sides of like, do I have to go through this right now? Um but then now there's pockets of individual individualization that's happening, right? Individuals are popping up in pockets. And so, like, this interesting transition balance, right?

SPEAKER_03 39:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

This interesting balance between the two of like you can go one way, you can go others, but where do we find that balance in the middle, right? Because I you I truly believe you need both. You need to be an individual. That's the key. And you also need to be part of something bigger. Absolutely. Right? That collective. Um, so how do we find that balance? And I feel like the harbor is a is a great analogy to be able to really tie that together of being able to find balance between your individual needs and your collective needs, right? And the collective wants of how do we how do we bring bridge these things together?

Stories, Community, And A Modern Village

SPEAKER_01 39:47

That's interesting that you say that because that's the transition which is happening. Earlier it was the way of life. You don't have an option. If collectiveness was the thing and you want an individual space, you don't have an option. Now that's the way people don't want to see it, but that's the not so good part of that. Right. Right? Right. On the other extreme, there's the individualism part of the stuff, which can just make societies just totally, you know, disparate, right? They're just so. And I think now the reflection is that if we are able to see this is happening, there's a very fine balance. I think it's a moment for of opportunity for this part of the world. We say, you know what, now how do you maintain this balance? Because if you start going either extreme, you pretty much land up in terms of some in a scenario which is already you can see. Yeah. So any attempt to kind of balance it out with the right thing because the next generation, or at least you know, whatever is left for our generation, I think there is a huge value uh which we'll derive from being who we are as individuals. So that question, the thought, being able to reflect the thought in our choices of work, in terms of choices of words, everything which we're doing has its value. Earlier, those values they were not very so open. So I think there's a now the trick is uh maybe, and you're right, that thanks for bringing that perspective. When I think about it, maybe that is what will happen. Maybe we will change the way of life. Maybe those collective village kind of scenarios will not be there, but maybe we will have a choice where we can dock our boat in the harbor. So maybe the answer is that we create these harbors, and as individuals we can go into the sea, but we have options of more harbor to dock our boats. Yeah. And it's your choice.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

It's a choice, it's a choice, and that brings the balance. That's pretty that's pretty deep. Yeah, that's pretty profound. Because you're right, that that gives people the ability, the control, right? Because if you're in a storm, like unexpected, you you're you're not in control, you're just kind of riding it, right? If it's an expected storm, you have more sense of control and more preparation, right? If you're choosing where to go to be able to navigate those challenges that are happening, you are more inclined to be engaged into it, right? Versus, I mean, like you said, as the collective, so you're forced into those spaces, and as an individual, you don't know where to go because you're by yourself. Yeah. You're isolated.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Yeah. And how sober, I mean, uh, as much as you learn as you will all, there's not never no end to it, right? I don't think anybody can say that I've arrived, right? This is the end. Right. There's always something more for everybody to learn. And just having that little light inside, being your own navigator, being your own lighthouse, I think it's just a journey of life. Yeah. That's great.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

It's a great way to as as we're like coming to the space, right? Of what makes us a lighthouse and uh finding that light within. Yeah, that is, yeah. Right? How do you be your own lighthouse first? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:15

Yeah, as I said, I mean, that's the part of the practice. Yeah. So first step will always be your you know external, you know, receptors. And I think there are many layers to it, and that's the reason I don't find this um, you know, any straight way to answer this, honestly speaking, because for you to be an individual that you have these antennas and stuff can come from many ways. It is your environment, which either you were very conscious about it where you are, or the people around you have created for you that you're looking for those things. Second thing which I've observed is events in life. Right. In a way, if you try to categorize the events of life, all of us will have very high-level categorization of the event which would have happened. One way to one way of life is like the events happened, it went in. Yeah, you can just say this this happened. That's just a context, that's just a very tactical part of the stuff. Other way of thinking is that, oh, that event happened, and there was a moment of reflection. Again, that depends upon the depth of the event. Many start the journey of reflection and being the lighthouse when the event happened. So that could be a trigger point, right? Right, right. But the idea here is that wherever the trigger point may be, and you generally start with something very basic. What do you really do? You start with a question. Why this has happened to me? Who am I? Standard stuff. What do you look for? Maybe you're right place, right time. You will find somebody who will just be able to answer that something for you. You will find inspiration in talks, you'll find inspiration in books, you'll find inspiration in stories. So, you know what? There's no one way. Go out, explore. And it's not about that, and it's not an extreme journey. It's not that you are on a journey to becoming a mystic. That's not the point, right? Somehow I just feel when you have this kind of conversation in a very normal scenario, like, oh, what are you becoming? You know, it's not about becoming that extreme, it is it is who you are. Just having that little light always uh uh will just guide you for your next uh journey, yeah, next decision. And I think uh that is pretty much I think is enough. Yeah. That's enough, right? Absolutely, there is no end to this, these uh depth, and I don't know anybody who's claim to have that you have to get it all. But if you have to navigate in this life and these are uh the questions which have just even started in your head, I would say just go ahead with it, go with the flow, keep that little light in your in turn inside and keep taking the best decision. And every time if that leads to an uh a decision or a milestone, pause. Pause is the biggest thing. Just pause, reflect, and again. And the opportunity what I think my life compass can provide you when you're pausing, you can go and pause in a harbor. Right. You may have some perspective which you may not be able to have it on your own.

SPEAKER_00 46:24

That's a I that's a great the pause, right? Because uh you know we are a culture and generation that is increasing in speed, yeah, right? Increasing in in our way of living, right? And pausing is such a difficult thing. It's such a it's such it's a easy day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easy to say, it's easy to think about, but actually pausing, putting, putting a time to say, like, I'm gonna sit down. And when you said at the harbor, you know the first thing that came to my mind. Yeah, I'm at the harbor bar. And that's the first thing that came to my mind. I'm at the harbor bar, I'm I'm have my drink, I'm at, I'm at a table and at the bar, and I'm chatting up what what I've learned from being out exploring. Right. And I'm coming back and I'm sitting down and I'm talking to folks about what I've learned at this point, right? And that's the part, that's that's how my pause. Of course it's around the bar, right? Of course it's around the bar with with chicken wings. I gotta have chicken wings now. But uh like when you said that, that's that's the imagery that came up to me was finding a moment just to be and sometimes to be with others so that you have that connection, you have that sense of of worth.

SPEAKER_03 47:56

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

You know, I think that's also come up a lot lately is people not feeling like they have worth.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

Worth, yeah.

Balancing Individual And Collective

SPEAKER_00 48:03

Uh yeah, that's um quite challenging. It is, yeah. And uh, you know, in this context of like how do we find worth in ourselves to be able to also find worth in others. I think that's a a community, that's a collective thing that we need to solve. Right? Because we can't solve that individually, we have to solve that with others. So providing the space to do that, right? Uh I can see that being this space, right? Like to be able to affirm people of what's happening in their lives and saying that you are not alone through this. Because I think that's the biggest thing that most uh people are feeling right now. Yeah. And a harbor being a safe space, being a place, the lighthouse, being able to see that there's something to look forward to. Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Yeah, absolutely. Right. I think um it's uh it's a community thing, absolutely. While your life journey is your own, but uh in the larger context of navigation, uh yeah, you can't isolate yourself. You can't be just the always the lonely Right. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_00 49:22

You have to be in community.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

I think it comes back to that, right?

SPEAKER_03 49:25

Like yeah, we are.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

Yeah, you have to be in community. But you know, it's so interesting because right now it's a total mess back in the US. I'm just gonna be truthful about it. It's a complete mess because everyone is scared of what community is. Um, I had a I had a conversation with my dad, and he was like, he's had so many negative interactions right now around just the the temperature in the US that he's fearful that he has to he has to protect himself going outside. And so he's like, I'm staying home. Like I and and that if I think about that, that's like that's not just the harbor. I I'm staying away from everyone else. I'm docking into some cove and I'm not gonna engage with the rest of the world. Um, and that's a loss to the world and to him.

SPEAKER_01 50:17

Absolutely, it's very, very unfortunate for us as human species to be able to be in this space, right? That you have to be in this situation, think like that, act like that. I think that is very, very unfortunate. And uh, but yeah, I think maybe I don't know if if this is a method to the madness, if this is the way nature's way is there, that it it anything goes to a pinnacle. And I don't know. I mean, you gave an example US, but if you look at the world around right now, it's very interesting. Right. In all there's a pattern out there. So the need for more of you know this whole thing about internal reflection, while the the roots of it comes long way from our I mean, every culture, every aspect has its you know, version of it, and to your point, like passed on from generation to generation uh in in so many ways. Um I think there was a reason for that, right?

SPEAKER_03 51:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

And that uh maybe it's time that uh it is more relevant. It's time that uh if anybody has a little understanding about it or little inclination toward it to pause and spend time with it. Because I think that is what will be needed more and more.

SPEAKER_00 51:29

I think so. I I I fully believe that this is an endeavor that needs to be taken. Right? And and as a world, as a community, as people, yeah, we need these spaces, and they're not enough. There's not enough spaces like this. So I'm excited for what this what the what Life Compass is gonna bring for people.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

I'm excited about that.

SPEAKER_01 51:52

Yeah, I thank you, and I really look forward uh for all of us you know being there, contributing, creating those opportunities because end of the day, I believe that um we are also living in the stage where there is there is so much of out there from knowledge part, right? Uh it's overdose, like information overdose, everything is available, it's not about that. The core is like, is there something where you can uh feel safe? Yeah, and yeah, I don't think so. Anything this is something which I we are going to provide, something total out of the context and extraordinary stuff, but it's what is going to really make it meaningful is the people. Brian, I mean anybody like people like you and many others who have transitioned this path, being there in the harbor to be able to, you know, provide that context, provide those stories, you know, provide the support in whatever way, like you know, you know, in your own expertise and your perspective, I think that will be really, really great uh as a you know, uh foundation for this community to build. Yeah. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Um, is there anything you want to share with folks uh as we kind of close out our time together?

SPEAKER_01 53:02

No, great. I I um just that uh uh what we were just talking before. If we need anything like this, I think the times right now we are talking about it. You cannot stop anything. We can talk about it, we are moving, the change has always been happening. Uh, but the reality is the speed of change is very fast right now. So uh there's no point sitting on it, the change will not happen, right? If AI is what humans have created, we have created intelligence, accept it, it's the intelligence, it is going to transcend a lot of stuff much faster than we can think of. That is a reality, you know. So, like that, I think we all I think will need to reflect upon it and see and invisage scenarios where different things will change for you, for the community, and and see if it makes sense that we can still hold our hand, have little old rituals kind of stuff parallel going for us. Yeah, and uh yeah, and that's it. I mean, I think I will come back, these are all metaphors. Life compass is just one of the harbor. Uh, what I am what I really want to convey is that figure out, be a part of some harbor or create your own harbor. That's okay. Lighthouse, live your journey. There's always an opportunity to be a lighthouse for somebody else, but have that little light inside and keep growing. So that's pretty much it. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks, Brian. It was lovely talking to you today.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

That's awesome. Great. Thank you for listening to What Makes Us. Make sure to rate or review this podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or send it to a friend who you think will enjoy this podcast. Thank you for sharing your time and see you soon.