Find Meaning with Sweta Kumari

Meaning rarely arrives as a neatly wrapped answer—it comes as a signal, a nudge, a question that lingers. In this episode, Brian sits down with Sweta Kumari to trace those signals from the banks of the Ganga to the quiet edges of a golf course, weaving spirituality, neurodiversity, and community into a lived practice of purpose.

What begins with early rituals—Havan at home, river baths, gratitude—unfolds into a framework for self-understanding: notice the energy you carry, pay attention to what your environment reflects back, and choose interpretations that help you grow.

We explore parenting as a path to meaning, where curiosity leads and learning happens outdoors. Sweta shares how her son’s love for nature—and an unexpected connection with golf—became a gentle teacher in focus, calm, and self-trust. Brian reflects on his Quaker roots, the power of being with community instead of doing for it, and how conversation fuels his sense of purpose. Together, they consider how failure reframes as feedback, how fear points to past wounds, and why letting go creates clarity for action.

The dialogue also moves through India’s layered realities: tier one and two cities with greater resources, tier three and four communities with deeper informal support. We look at neurodivergent coaching beyond checklists and medication, toward an instinct-led approach that validates emotion while guiding toward actionable meaning. And yes, golf becomes more than a sport—it’s a quiet lab for presence, breath, and patient adjustments that mirror real growth.

If you’ve been searching for purpose, this is your invitation to slow down, ask braver questions, and listen to the places and people that steady you. Subscribe for more thoughtful conversations, share this with a friend who could use a reset, and leave a review so others can find us.

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Thanks for being amazing!

Transcript

Welcome And Theme: Finding Meaning

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome to What Makes Us. This is a podcast exploring and how we develop as people through our experiences and connections between individuals, with groups, and amongst society. We'll be bringing on guests to discuss how they've come to be who they are. And along the way, we may end up learning something about ourselves. So please sit back and enjoy your listening to What Makes Us. Welcome to What Makes Us. I'm the host Brian Hooks, and today we have an amazing conversation with a super awesome best friend here with Sweeta. Sweeta and I have been friends for about almost a year and a half, almost two years. Actually, two years, yeah, two years. And I'm super excited for her to share with us her thoughts on our topic today. What makes us find meaning? I'm really excited for that as I took a deep breath after finishing uh that article because it holds a lot of weight. So, without further ado, Sweta, please introduce yourself to our listeners and what got you interested in this topic?

SPEAKER_03 1:28

So, hi everyone. My name is Sweetang, and I'm just a fun-loving mom and a fun-loving friend. What made me interested in this topic? So since the beginning, I had been a kind of catalyst for certain conversations, or my friends would come to me to you know share anything, whether it's their vulnerability or whether they are stuck somewhere. I was always trying to reflect what made them to come to me or find me. What kind of signals or the universe is sending to me? Is there a meaning? Why so a person, a person comes with his or her vulnerability to me? And after that, what happens to me as well? What are these signals? So that always brought me find the meaning behind anything or everything which is happening within you or happening around you.

Defining Meaning Through A Spiritual Lens

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Thank you for that. That's uh that's really deep. And uh thank you for the intro. Fun loving. I love I I love that. Uh Swaita is being super modest, so she is an amazing coach. Um but I I think it just in what you've talked about already, there's a spiritualness to to find meaning for you. And uh as I've gotten to know you over these last couple of years, spirit your spiritualness is very important. Um, it's something that you fully fully embrace in how you are living your life and and how your family lives their lives. And so I love that. And and I I can feel that that that was coming from from this answer, that there is a spiritual connection as you're talking about, the universe, and there's no coincidence and things, and people coming to find meaning. So in in that context, you know, how would you how would you define meaning in this in this realm of of spiritualness?

SPEAKER_03 3:56

So thank you for adding such a beautiful statement around I'm being generous, but it's all you know the spiritual part is definitely within there but among both of us. So the meaning, how I'm gonna define it's always uh you know, I had questions in my mind why I took this birth or why I am like this. So why I don't like to you know hold anyone accountable, but I prefer walking away. So what's that why this has happened to me and what learnings it has given. So if I don't find the meaning around anything happens, I can always be in the same zone, same zone of you know, zoning, okay, get up in the morning, do your task, blah blah blah, and then come back, sleep. Just gonna be the regular daily habit. Is there something else it has? What is meaningful? What I'm gonna do, or if you say what is the spiritual goal of a soul, so all of us are around the world, we all are here, but definitely we all have a spiritual goal we need to attend, and we also talk about sometimes the karma, karmic connections. So what you are going through, or what are your sufferings, what are your joys, everything has a meaning. So slowly, you know, I I assume okay, I'm like this, close the shut, shut yourself completely. But uh it is like why I'm doing this. Can I find what it means to me and why I'm attracting this? So that's how I you know uh define meaning.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Yeah, thank you. So like everything has everything we do, everything that is happening around us, there is a reason for it. There is a there's a reason for that thing to happen, and it's up to us and our stories to be able to find meaning from that. Right? Right. And and if that's if you're if your compass is more leaning towards a spiritual meaning, then that's kind of how you may your your lens is gonna look at it. Your perspective is gonna maybe shift into that spiritual space of meaning. If you're a logical person, it may, you know, it may not necessarily have that huge connotation to the universe and connecting to that thing as you karma or or in that area, but it still has there still has meaning. It just may have a more rational, it may not have that bigger picture thing, right? It may be that small connection of like this happened because uh A happened, B happened, so of course the result is gonna be C, right? Like there's still logic within that meaning, within those different things. Does that does that make sense?

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Truly. It's truly makes sense to me.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

So so where do you think you where did your spiritualness come from, you know, or or how did you get to this point in your life around spiritualness and and finding meaning around that?

SPEAKER_03 7:55

So the first thing is my birthplace, right? Where I'm born young, early childhood.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Um is again uh you can say the spiritual uh place, it is known as for their spirituality, the Bihar school of yoga. And so as my house is quite near, it's the same place I'm born, and also our uh how it started is like we had a practice of visiting river Ganga, okay, you know, especially in a particular month and offer, take a bath, sit there, offer your prayers, do many rituals like that. And apart from that, even my grandfather I know he has a practice that every Sunday, we all would uh you know show gratitude to all the lords by doing Havan at home or offering food to the people, so slowly those things started you know building the foundation for my spirituality, and even the way I was born, you know, being a neurodivergent, you there would be a lot of questions, there were a lot of whys with people, so their whys I would say made me more spiritual. Why this find my own meaning as like okay, if I have got something, is it my limiting belief, or is it something I can't do? So the lenses I used to look at it was always the wholeness. So if I'm whole, then why I need to be worried about it with it's it's always there in your brain, the thoughts which get there. And whenever I used to sit near, if I have reluctance, or um I used to feel frustrated, or let's say I'm quite emotional, the best thing is I used to go stand near Revel Ganga, take a dip, do it for longer time to find your own you know answers, or find your own meanings and resemblance, and uh that's how you know things started. Then again, it's like um so life at every step had thrown certain challenges to me, have made me learn a lot of lessons. So from a pampered kid to taking care of your own, how transformation happened. So always when I reflect back and see what I have done, how I have done, but there is always in back of mind the inner peace which I look at it. It's the inner peace which I always get when I'm within the nature. I'm I never used to uh think why I'm doing like this, why I'm behaving like this, why I feel much more energetic, peaceful, and clear with near rivers as well. So kind of the day I was born, and even you know, you say your sign, it all tied up. It all tied up that okay, you are a Python, and that's why you like water quite most. So all those things slowly started, you know, showing up. Yeah, it took me a long time to understand, okay, this is what truly I am. I know it's a never and it's an ever-growing journey. I still haven't discovered myself fully, but those were some of the you know paths where it paved my spiritual journey.

Motherhood, Nature, And Slow Learning

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Ah, that's beautiful. And and amazing of this conversation of what I hear is like re the resilience, right? The not allowing someone else's perspective of you control and dominate who you are, right? And allowing allowing yourself time to grow into yourself, yes, right? Um, and just the thought process of being next to water, next to the river, Ganga, and and the power of that, because I know that is a very powerful spiritual space for for Indians. Uh the Ganga River is is almost in everything. Every time I look up, there's something about that river, and and there is a spiritualness, some kind of, like you said, ritual that is happening at that space. And so it makes sense growing up there, having that very strong connection, not only to that space, but the body body of water as being that um conduit for that for that spirituality. So thank you for sharing that. That's um really, really beautiful. What what has it really, you know, as you talk about that, and I'm thinking about the principles and values that that we grow up with. Um how does how is that connecting for you um now as you are, as you said, a fun-loving mother? What's you know, how are you working with your your son in in that spiritualness in in that space?

SPEAKER_03 14:54

So yeah, um it's it's a very long answer to it, but I'll try to keep um so with me and uh my son that um so the first thing what I did with him just to experience like how he is connecting. I on his first birthday, we went to Murdereshwar took him at a seacoast stadium, the Shiva and the ocean. And we both it's uh we never liked as like even today. My son doesn't like to court a birthday cake, would rather sit somewhere, make a castle. So we went there, we were sitting, and I connected as like he's very calm, enjoying that moment. That touch was always there, that connection was always there, and even we had you know, we wanted that can have a connection within three of us as you know, we are a nuclear family, three of us are stays together, yeah. So that moment made me realize it's like I'm rushing into things, but the rush is not what I need, I need time to be with myself, with with my son, and with my husband as well. So all that's set a stone, and now we are still having fun. We try to find any nature place, it could be a farmhouse, it could be a lake, and it's a mandatory ritual at home that every quarter you have to take a break and go somewhere, be it a farm or maybe the near ocean, or somewhere, just be connect. What a it also made me realize that when my son is in the boundary of four walls, he might feel pressured. You can't teach him, or you can't make him uh okay, this is this is what number one to ten, this is what alphabets, this is how you read. No, uh that that never happened with him. What he started is like, okay, this is a touch me not. So, what happens when you touch the touch me not? It's just kind of made him experience when you jump on a rough surface, what happens to you? He still remember we took him to a farm and he fell down while running. He got an um scratch there. He still remembered that, you know, mom, this was our first new farm where we visited. He has his own analogy to give naming convention, and here I had got hurt on my left knee. And I also saw peacocks and peehen family. So now, to my surprise, I always everything for me was peacock. Okay, I was not even aware about peacocks and peehen.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Ah, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

It was him who taught me peafall, so they are kids.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Yeah.

Community, Service, And Quaker Parallels

SPEAKER_03 18:28

So I I was surprised. Oh, is this? I I always okay, there is a peacock. I didn't even know there is a variety of peacock. So that's where our journey towards you know having fun and learning with fun started. Also, it's like he started calling us like mommy, you're a pea hen. You are not a peacock. I am a pea fowl, and I'm a pea chick. I was a pea chick, now I'm a peafowl. So it's it's all that you know, it was a cool learning journey. And that gave me, you know, a complete reflection that what he means, what he likes, is there something being sent to me, a signal for my own purpose? I would say uh what I inculcated, some of the behaviors is um you know, offering food to the needy, right? Showing gratitude to the nature and always being thankful to what we have. So when my son started doing all these things, I started exploring is there something meaningful? Is there something he has come to help me find a meaning about learning, education and all those fields because the way I was born is um I was always being you know, family from defense background, quite straight, always comparison. Oh, they are doing so good, they are doing this, they have chose to do this, and the marks becomes you know, you have to do this. Only marks defines you. And I was always a rebellion at home. Okay, so marks doesn't define me. So that also resonated, is like I never liked. The way I was getting educated. So that subconsciously I always had in mind. And my son came to heal this, find a meaning that, mom, you can have more fun while being with me, you're spending time, not only spending time, you're also reflecting and also getting connected with nature.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

The inner compass, the instinct, the inner self, you're trying to identify that as well. Why you're here, or you know what makes us right, right?

Coaching For Neurodivergent Clients

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Thank you for you wrapped that up really nicely at the end there of what makes us. But that's amazing of being able to see that learning coming from your from your son and being able to hold on to that and not lose it. Because I, you know, I sometimes get this, you know, I learn a lot from Masha, but how much do I filter out because of whatever my own perspective, hearing, interest, it at the time, truthfully, almost focus. Where am I focusing at? And I take it in and I say something perpetu you know, I'm like, oh, okay, you know, and I'm trying to be there in that space with her, but I may be someplace else. Um, and I'm missing that. So the opportunity are really here to take time, like to take time and and be at a space of peace. And for you, that seems to be nature. Nature is is a huge role. And um all the, you know, it's so true because all the gatherings that we end up, you end up organizing for us, end up being someplace out in nature. Like you're like, okay, we gotta get out of the buildings. And I completely appreciate that of uh being able to find you know space to to learn and grow with that. So uh yeah, uh, but it makes sense. It totally makes sense to who you are. I you know, um my spirituality is somewhat is different, but but in a lot of ways the same can it's is like connected to you, I think. Um as a as a Quaker, you know, it's it's truthfully to be in service with others. You know, Quakerism is about, you know, it is about nonviolence, and that community truthfully is is the most important part of who we are spiritually. We're in community with each other. And and I say with, right? Because I think that's super important, because it's not to and it's not for, it's with community, being with community. So um, and being in service with others versus being in service to or for others, right? I think that's a very important distinction that kind of gets lost. And so how we find meaning, you know, in that space of being with others, I think is also really important because uh, you know, as a I'm an extrovert, as you know, and I can pretty much talk to almost anybody. And it is in those conversations that I find a lot of my energy and I find uh a sense of purpose because I'm connecting with people, and I feel like that's a very important part of who I am. If I'm not connecting with people, I'm isolated and I it's difficult to find meaning because I'm kind of running in circles in my own brain, versus you know, being able to share that. And I think that's a huge part of who I am. I need to share that, to find find meaning, right? To find meaning in what I'm doing. So where yeah, where do we go from here, right? Like, is it such a big big topic of finding meaning? How as a coach, just thought process here, as a coach, how how do you have these conversations about finding meaning with a with a client per se, or with just with other people?

SPEAKER_03 25:07

Quite difficult to answer, but let me give a try. It's not only helping them navigate, finding meaning in yourself, so now uh but also trying to hold a mirror in front of them that hey how your energy is impacting me, what you're saying, how it is also landing on me. So if you would as you know that I'm working towards the neurodivergent space with ADHD, so there is a lot. What uh they have a pattern would be something like you know, you're repeating so many things, but you're not able to finish you're just having an emotion and you're spiraling into that emotion. Is it meaningful to you or what it means to you? So, with such people, when you sit and talk to them, it's just one question that can help them to navigate what is have truly happening. See, they are aware that this is happening with him or her, but you know, they need an affirmation or they need a validation. So the validation, why are we seeking the validation? Is it what exactly is happening in that place to you? So when you start bringing them to connect to their inner self, their inner nature, it starts resolving the issues. That there are multiple medicines being you know tested on people with neurodivergency, especially in US, and how things are getting distorted. And we do have data around you know younger generation falling prey of mental stress, so there's always I I would rather put the Newton's law, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So what you have done to yourself happening to you, you're receiving that, or you can say the karmic connection as well. What energy you send, you receive.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Right, right.

Golf As Mindful Practice And Mirror

SPEAKER_03 27:51

It's as a coach, definitely takes different ways to bring how to help them find meaning. My techniques are always you know, bring the coaches for a workshop into the air and let them discover themselves. Yeah, so and why I uh so there is I can back this hypothesis, what I do with my son. I introduced a lot of sports to him. I took him to um badminton, I took him for skating, I took him to cycling, many indoor games as well. But what pattern I found is hardly it's two months he'll be there in with that sport, with that energy. But uh, when I took him to golf, it's a peaceful space where nobody is yelling, nobody you know, it's the conversation is very mindful, quite focused. Nobody gives you a lot of instructions, right? It's just you being there in that space. So that's how he started. You know, it's not he started, we started learning about him. That how the innate self helps find the meaning that it makes us, or what truly we are. He went to school, couldn't adjust, we kept changing, but this is somewhere he's staying longer. And proactively he comes to me, hey mom, I have to go for the classes when we are going. And he's quite particular about that we have to be here. Only this teacher, no other teacher. So, how is the association? So we observed many teachers as well, how they were communicating in spite of uh you know his limits. So, how things were, how the nature would give you signal. I just went for the first um, it just happened, okay. But uh, I just got a message there, is in uh summer class from our own coach John Serrao that okay, this is what uh summer class is happening, and we just landed there. So it was signals, the instincts which brought in. So, as a coach, it is very important to understand your own instinct and then help the client navigate. That has been many times been told by our masters, our trainers, our mentors. But this is what I experience in life. So that it's always there as like, okay, let's let's find the instinct, follow your instinct, and then find the meaning towards it. Any given point of time, you can have a positive meaning, you can also have a negative meaning. But what you want to hold on is all your inner will would let you know. So, and if you find the right meaning, you'll grow, your soul would evolve, or you evolve, you will see the things changing. So, in short, uh how would I say uh it's I just take them, you know. Uh, there is no one fits in the ocean, I just connect with them and then tell them what language would be meaningful.

Self‑Awareness, Fear, And Letting Go

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank you for that. Because I think, yeah, what you just said was great because you're right, you know, your mentor, the mentor coaches, your fellow coaches, you know, we all have a different opinion about how we help our clients and the people around us find meaning, what they're doing. And then truthfully, it's it's not our jobs to find meaning for you, it's for you to find meaning for yourself, right? And it's just kind of providing that space for a person to discover it. Um, you've said this multiple times, that innate will, right? The innate, I I hear it as like talent and the innate connection you have, you know, and being able to find meaning through that, right? You said that several times at this point. And so I I kind of picked up on that the innate will to find meaning in what what you're doing and what's what's happening. I love your that your son is playing golf. I just want to say that because I'm a huge golf fan, right? I love golf. And when you ex you know, explained it as being out there by yourself without any yelling, and truthfully, the game of golf of if if anyone else has played golf, it is a game against yourself, right? You are you play your against yourself here because there's no one else. Yeah, sure. There's there's other people you you know, you're gonna have to, you know, try to get to the hole, you know, with the shortest, you know, smallest amount of strokes, but it is you that you are having to figure out, you know, how I'm moving, how how I'm breathing, how where am I aiming? All those different things are your own challenges that you have to overcome to get the ball to where it needs to go to, or at least where you want it to go to, I should say. Uh, and so I always I've loved golf. Golf is such a peaceful place um to be able to be out in in nature, truth, truthfully, in nature, um, and and surrounded with silence and and and yourself. It's a very uh peaceful space, but also for a lot of people, it's also very hard because sometimes some folks need that noise. They need you know, they need that environment uh to kind of keep them going. Um, and I definitely do understand that. Playing, I've played a lot of other sports as well, but I I haven't truly connected golf to the spiritualness and to that sense of meaning. And I love that for your son, you know, he's able to communicate better through the golf and learning through that through that vehicle. And I think that's I think that's great.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

Thank you for summarizing this. And the way it is just reflected is kind of for a spiritual soul to always what you look at or what you aspire at, improvising yourself, and golf gives you the space. You you try to become the better version of your own self without having any external instructions or external impact. It's all with you, right?

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Right, it's a lot of reflection, right? Because if you you know you have one hit, you you have your one swing and it goes really bad, uh, which happens to me a lot. Uh, and then I'm trying to correct on the next swing, right? Like I'm trying to improve every single swing, right? It doesn't, it's not just, oh, I have it perfectly this one time. Yeah, you may hit it perfectly the one time, and then the next swing it's completely off. And you're trying to figure out why it is off, like what happened, and that's uh now thinking about it, it makes a great analogy of finding meaning, right? One minute you have it and you're understanding how the universe is working, and the next minute you're like, wait, what does this mean? What is it? What is going on? Yeah, I think that's uh I think that's a great analogy. How golf really plays into it. As we're trying to find meaning, what have you learned about yourself in this in this journey that you've been on, whether that's through the spiritual lens or just in general, right? Finding meaning in our day-to-day life.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

So the best thing which I know I have learned, or I'm still learning. I wouldn't say I have learned everything, I'm still on my learning path. At least I know why I behave this way. I am aware with whom I would connect. I can sense I don't need to have 10,000 meetings, but I can sense with whom I'll have a connection. I can work with. And the best part which helped me to find is especially uh even while I was working in corporate people with disabilities, making the digital accessibility enable them with uh how they can work, that reflected me as was that out of sympathy or was that out of empathy, or was there even the purpose? So the three tangent I always you know had a question around why I'm doing this, what is the meaning behind you know working with people uh having different abilities? So that space, you know, help me learn about myself as the challenges I faced, the way I overcome, and the way I am you know improvising in key can help multiple people who come from a very small village or a very small place where they don't have every luxury. Now we didn't got any luxury. We were uh I wouldn't say we don't didn't got any luxury at that point of time. What we were getting was also a luxury. So uh that's how things you know this the things which shaped me. Now I'm clear why I'm inclined towards something. If there would be people or external influence, hey, you shouldn't be doing this, this is not a right space for you to be in. I might not get influenced.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

So it's it's just I that's the my sole purpose. My soul has to evolve and learn the limitations and heal yourself while learning about the limitations so that you can take actions. If I'm feared about something, what is that fear all about? What's the meaning behind that fear, or from where is it originating?

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Right.

India’s Tiers: Acceptance And Access

SPEAKER_03 39:16

Is it coming from my childhood past experience, or is it just coming from my young adult experience? So those things are clearly shaping up, you know, and that's what I have become aware is yeah, find the meaning, who you are, and how you behave in certain situations. And that's also you know when you're building a relationship with someone, as you know you are at least aware of yourself that I'm gonna behave in such a situation, you can set that expectation, hey, I'm gonna be, you know, fascinated today, so don't talk to me. And kind of uh, I mean it won't spoil your relationship. Apart from that, what you're giving to yourself, you're not holding to someone's ill behavior, or you're not holding to anything, you're just letting it go. And when we let go things, it gives you the clear thoughts, the clarity. You have a mindset what you need to work on, or what you need to be doing in next. If you're still you know tangling around the past and uh anything which has happened, that's just here, right? We are not in present, it's just in your head, and it's not even. In this moment, so the finding meaning I always resonate that be in the moment. How can you find the meaning to be in the moment with yourself fully?

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Yeah, yeah, no, that's so that's so true. Being present with yourself in that moment, there's you know, this has come up several times, and so it's it's kind of almost inferred. The environment uh for neodivergent uh in India, you know, I understand, you know, I understand it uh to some regards in the US, which for many years was being highlighted as one of the better spaces for neodivergent people with disabilities to be able to function and and become whoever they want to become, right? What is that what is that environment here in India like for neodivergents and people with disabilities?

SPEAKER_03 41:49

So uh precisely I would say the law is quite good. Uh, we have a lot of provisions, but it's all about are people aware of those provisions? Are they ready to accept that yes, this is how I am, this is who I am. Especially in a in tier one, tier two cities, we can find, we can find the acceptance, we have resources. But when you talk about tier three and tier four, people are not even aware of it. Not about the government rules and provisions, but not even aware of there are such challenges. I know we are living in the world of AI and every information is on our fingertips, but still are we uh trying to source the right information, so it's it's all depends, and as I was saying, right, it's all the connection of the soul. The soul comes to you is not a coincidence. The people you meet and the way they accept you as in whole. I'll come back to my son's teacher, his name is Roshan. I never had to explain anything to him that he talks like this, he talks like that. It was just that nature, universe has planned. And it's just there was no fear for me. There was it's like I I was a little uncomfortable, I have to leave him alone. Would he be able to communicate his emotions or not? It was just as it is. So yes, people are aware. In um, I would say the situation is far better in tier one and tier two, depending upon the families. There are families as well, those who are you know not much aware, but yeah. Okay, it's all about people can accept.

SPEAKER_00 43:56

Yeah. So I I understand tier one, tier two. What it what would be a tier three, tier four community? What would that look what does that represent?

SPEAKER_03 44:08

So the represents so the uh city I belong to uh is uh it's how they represents is quite government servants.

SPEAKER_02 44:20

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 44:22

Um and even the uh you know major uh cities where farming is one of their major uh livelihood apart from farming, you're either into government services.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Okay, okay. Yeah, it's kind of the village, kind of the village kind of setup.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

You have village, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:45

Yeah, yeah. You have like tier tier one, tier two are those big cities, Bangalore, uh Delhi, um big cities, and then tier three, tier four is those outside of the big city, you're going into the small towns that are you know traditionally all uh rural agri agricultural uh economy kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:12

But the uh even average uh education level would be less, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

A lot of government run schools in those areas because the you know trying to to do big kind of schools that you have in the cities aren't just it's just not economical, right? Okay, okay, that makes sense. And and India is I I mean, for listeners in other places, India is ginormous. It is huge. And and you think about these tier one, tier two cities, um, they're they're in every state, right? But they're it's it's not like it's every single corner of the state is gonna be a city. There's a lot more three tier three, tier four communities than there are tier one and two. That's just at least from my experience. I don't know, is that is that accurate?

SPEAKER_03 46:08

Yeah, and that's and that's how it is.

Concrete Jungle Versus Village Community

SPEAKER_00 46:11

Yeah, yeah. And so you get this, I mean, you also get a uh a beauty of diversity there. Like there is just so many different ways of living and and so many different ways of being in India that it's it's just really mind-boggling. And I don't think I even growing up in the US, I never really considered that. There, like there's a lot of tier one, tier two cities in the US, but there's also tons of tier three and four. Um, it's just maybe the infrastructure and how the communities and cultures come together are very different, um, of course, uh along a lot of different lines. So I don't know, it's it's an interesting comparison.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

So the best part I have observed is in tier three and tier four is the community. The whole society represents as in community. If one person has a pain, right, other would also feel that the intensity of that pain and would come without even you know asking you. Yeah, they'll just jump in, they'll be there for you. It's just a feeling that hey, I'm there for you.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

Yeah, you know, that's it. I think I feel like that's everywhere, right? Small communities, there they rely upon each other, there's a reliance there that when you get to the big city, it becomes more like it becomes more jungle. Right, like everyone is out to get to to do their own thing. Um, and and when they do have to rely on someone else, uh that support is kind of shaky, right? It's it's not as firm as you would have, like in those commun in those smaller communities. Um, because you know, who are you gonna look at who's gonna who are you gonna look towards? Um, families are not necessarily in the in the big cities. It's you know, it's the outliers that end up in the big city or the young young folks, and all the elders are back in the in the small areas, small communities.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

So I love the line you said you are we are living in the jungle, so the jungle of concrete, right?

SPEAKER_00 48:28

Yeah, concrete jungle. Oh yeah, that's how you know that's how I describe you know, growing up in Los Angeles. You know, we we always knew Los Angeles was the concrete jungle. Um and yeah, everywhere you go, it's all pavement. It literally is concrete. So everywhere you go, there's barely there's a lot of nature, but it's it's very planned because it's it's very much a city. Um, but we yeah, it's like a jungle. Um in not in good ways and bad. A lot more bad, I feel like, than good. But yeah, yeah. So here when people say it's a it's a concrete jungle, I kind of look, I'm like, oh I I see that, but it's not like the jungle I grew up in. It's not the concrete jungle I drew grew up in. It's a lot more milder, I have to say. It's a lot more milder than what I grew up in, but um, yeah, it still is there, it still is here. So so yeah, I I just find it so interesting of where communities are when it comes to managing people with disabilities and how communities come together um to really work to work with each other. And I think you said this at the beginning: the spiritualness, how you how your spiritual nature came together was also kind of in response to how the community was engaging you.

Communal Care, Weddings, And Service

SPEAKER_03 49:52

So uh I know uh it's not only the nature, the community, it's also your own reflection that you can do something, or you can bring a small change so that someone else would come and take over and bring it to the next level. At the my place, definitely when I was growing, yeah, there were communities because I I studied in a convent um and uh it's Notre Dame Academy where that whole community of sisters were taking care of you know the situational disability when it happens with uh accidents or with some chronic disease. So they there were community at that point of time and they used to help each other. I remember when my father was suffering from a severe disease, though it was just a situational uh disability, but how the community played it, so he couldn't go to the office every morning. So someone from my neighborhood would come drop him, and at that point of time nobody was having phone. Okay, there was just um you know, an hourly basis there would be an hooter or a siren being sent. Okay, this is 11 a.m., this is 12 p.m. So they would set an expectation very uh with an agile way that you come and pick me at this point of time, I'm gonna be stay at here. So the expectation has been set, and the person would just hear that and would go. Yeah, look at the time and uh come and receive. So the community thing I have seen a lot I know, your neighbor coming forward and considering them considering you as an important part of their life, and also the service, like we also call it that we have to provide services to the needy, or uh we need to do so people think okay, I'm donating something to poor, that's what the service is all about. But when you're donating to someone which is lower in your hierarchy, that's not the true service when you dedicate something uh to someone which is equivalent to you. So I have seen that community of services a lot when it's growing, even if um someone is having a wedding, you know. All northern, eastern part of India is quite famous for wedding. Right, it's not a wedding of a sing a daughter of a single family, but rather it's a wedding for the whole society. Everyone would, okay, I'm gonna bring this, and they would come proactively, even from the decorations to every ritual they'll take care of.

SPEAKER_02 53:11

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

They they won't even give you a thought, okay, it's all about money. No, it's not about money, but they'll just come forward, so it's and I I really admire and cherish that I should live in such a community. Maybe I need to create that's something which is meaningful to me. And maybe the way we guys are holding on to each other, at least our hot. We I love the way we are with each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

No, no, and I I I appreciate that of people coming together, right? Like, that's the essence of it. And the wedding is a great, great example because yeah, uh, Indian wedding here is significantly different than a wedding in the US. Um, and having experienced both, I I would say it's way more meaningful in an Indian wedding. Not just because of the rituals, not because you know, there's a lot of things that are happening in the wedding, but just how the family and community comes together is really important. In the US, it's very individual, right? Like it's it's the individuals that are coming, and maybe their small community of friends and networks will participate, but you know, it's really upon the two, the bride and groom and their f initial families, um, to to do a lot of stuff versus just everyone in the community coming together to celebrate, you know, to celebrate each other. I think that's a huge, huge dynamic and change. And as we talk about meaningfulness, right? Like there's a lot of meaning with that. So yeah, thank you. So we're we're coming close to wrapping up here. So, what would you want to share with listeners as as we've been talking about how what makes us find meaning?

Final Reflections: Look Within For Meaning

SPEAKER_03 55:14

What I would like to share is be reflective, be yourself, do not get around you know, in a comparison, and don't think that uh any failure is a failure. A failure is always an opportunity to learn and grow. So that's how I you know understood. I I wouldn't say that I haven't victimized myself, yes, I have done, but that's what I'm learning and never get back to the zone where you started. So the moment you start finding the meaning from your incidents, and how would you do that is nothing but reflecting, looking at yourself, looking within yourself, not only just looking at yourself, but within yourself, watching out your own thoughts, watching out how you are in someone's energy level, or how you start behaving in uh when you sit with someone or when you talk to someone, how you feel. So this is what I started. I started not looking outside or at others, but what is happening within me, and that helped me to find meaning, which is I'm still finding a lot. Uh quoting a character, finding Nemo, so I'm just finding myself. So that movie, I always remember whenever I feel you know, I'm looking at something meaningful meaning mean. I always remember finding Nemo. That's one of the beautiful movies. How he with his own limit was going to come out as a young champ. So similarly, is just find yourself.

SPEAKER_00 57:12

So finding finding meaning, to find meaning, you need to find yourself, yeah. And and look, look within, right? Not look not look outside, not look outside, meaning from outside people, but look within to understand what your meaning is. I love that. Great. Well, thank you, Sweta, so much for our conversation today. I've learned a lot. Uh uh and and interesting of that we went down the spiritual space, right, of finding meaning. So I really, really appreciate you.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

Thank you for listening to What Makes Us. Make sure to rate or review this podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or send it to a friend who you think will enjoy this podcast. Thank you for sharing your time and see you soon.