#061: When Life Breaks You Open and Art Is the Only Way Back With Leticia Herrera

What happens when the version of yourself you worked so hard to become suddenly no longer fits?

In this deeply human conversation, Leta Herrera shares what it felt like to lose the life she knew… the identity, the history, the sense of continuity… and how art became the place she returned to when nothing else made sense.

Rather than talking about creativity as a career or a skill, Leta speaks from the inside of the experience… the quiet moments alone in the studio, the openness that arrives when the heart cracks open, and the strange truth that some of the most meaningful creative experiences are never witnessed by anyone else.

She reflects on what it means to begin again… not strategically, not intellectually, but from the deepest place. To release fear. To let go of who you thought you were. To choose bravery when certainty is no longer available.

This episode isn’t about success or productivity. It’s about becoming. About what it costs… and what it gives back… when an artist listens closely enough to start over from the bottom of the heart.

If you’ve ever felt lost between who you were and who you’re becoming, this conversation will feel like sitting with someone who understands.

Leticia's Profile
Leticia's Website

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Transcript

From Tennis Coach To Artist

SPEAKER_01 0:34

When I first got here, I was able to get a job as a tennis coach-graphic designer in a tennis academy. So I was a tennis coach. Nobody knew me as Leta artist. They knew me as Coach Letty. And I had to become an artist again from the bottom of my heart to become, you know, I have to become an artist again. Because I was Coach Letty for many years.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

Welcome to another edition of For the Love of Creatives Podcast. I am your connections and community guy host, Dwight, joined by Maddox. And today, our featured guest is the wonderful Letitia Herrera. Welcome, Letitia.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Hi. Hi, Maddox. Hi, Dwight. Thank you so much for uh having me. And um thank you. It's it's it's a it's a delight being with you guys. What can I say?

SPEAKER_02 1:44

We've we've been excited to have this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:48

Absolutely. Well, um, we've been following your your work for a long time, but there are some folks that may be listening to this where this is their introduction to you. So would you mind uh sharing just a little bit about who you are and what you're about?

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Sure. Um well uh hello, my name is like uh he uh was introduced, Leticia Rera, but I uh most people know me as Leta. That's how I signed Leta in my painting. So um that's something not a lot of people know, and I guess it gives uh the perfect name for my personality. I um I am a person that an artist dash person that likes that usually very positive about life. Uh I am uh very bubbly, even though most people don't know that part of my personality. Uh some of my friends say that I'm very funny and um I am very sensitive. I get affected by all the things that go around me in the world. Um I'm a mother, a wife, um a sister, and an owner of a baby dog that I love. Um I'm an artist, and um my work is um my my work that I've known for is called Um The Walkers. That you know, uh I am created of that series that is about humans in their journey of life and to find positiveness and joy and spirituality. Uh, because I'm a spiritual person, and um I don't know, there's so much to say about it, but I think that um that's a little bit of who I am.

SPEAKER_04 3:39

Well, and what a beautiful story that you're you're teasing. Uh, for anyone that's that's watching this on YouTube, there's a a little glimpse of one of the the walkers pieces just over your shoulder. And uh I I've got to say that having had the experience of viewing them in person, it it really is a spiritual, a spiritual experience.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Oh, thank you. Um, yeah, I I I want when people see my pieces in person to feel to have an experience more than to see it and just to feel it and and have an experience that um I like everyone, uh everyone to to be part of it, everyone that look at my work and and feel the journey and see themselves broadly in one of my pieces. So yeah, that's a big part of uh who I am.

Choosing Light, Joy, And Spirituality

SPEAKER_04 4:39

Well, and I I love the way that you carry forward such a light. We we need a lot of light in this world. And I'm I'm curious how it is that you had the the wisdom to um have your your set point, your bias be toward one of light and hope.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Um I that's a good question. I I I don't know, I think because I deep inside me or very out there, I really uh believe in the kindness of humans, in the kindness of humanity. I think that even though at times we might feel that that uh not everybody does, I feel like I really feel that very strong. And I always feel that giving that message of joy, it was very important in my work, even before The Walkers, when I was a very young artist. Uh, I always, when I had figurative paintings or abstract paintings, I always wanted my work to portray that joy and you know, and and unity and uh a message of rebirth, of being, you know, getting um feeling or getting something really positive in your life. So uh regardless of what I'm painting, I think that that's what I want for humans, for us, for you and me, and for everybody that works in this earth. I mean, a little idealistic, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:20

Well, and that that certainly comes through with your current work, but I'd I'd love to know a little bit about what kind of moved you in the direction of wanting to wanting to create art. Like what are your your earliest memories?

Early Roots And Art As Universal Language

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Like when I start creating art, my earliest memories about creating art. Yes, um, I it was very, very little. I I have my earliest memory of wanting to create art was my mom and my dad taking me over the weekends to these workshop classes for the for kids. And I remember going there, and I never wanted to leave. I wanted to be there the whole time. I was it was like the the time stopped every time I was doing, and I was a little girl, and I remember that was the first time I remember that that's that was the favorite thing I wanted to do. And that's been my favorite thing to do since I was a little girl. Art school, when I will go to school, my favorite, my favorite um subject was art. Or if I was doing a a scientific, you know, like work from science or something, it was always creating something like we we have to do or create something about it. It was that was my favorite thing to do. So I think that I my memories of art came very, very young. And um, I think my parents were the ones that introduced me to this because, you know, let's let's drop the kids in art school in art weekend. So so I was like, that's fine with me, leave me there. So I think that's that's when it started, very, very young.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Well, that's and that sounds terrific. I mean, what what an experience. I I know that a lot of people um have a different way of moving about in the world. A lot of people are told, well, you know, you want to do something very practical. Um and you know, they see art as uh kind of an extra. We we see that with the way that when budgets get cut for schools, you know, arts programs are on the chopping block.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Um yeah, I mean, I that is very sad because I I believe, I truly believe art. And I'm sure you too, as an artist and Maros as an artist, and all of us as an artist know that art is a universal language. It's the way we all connect. It's it's it's one of the ways we connect as humans. I mean, you don't have to speak the same language. I mean, sometimes you listen to a song that is in another language and and can touch your vibes and you can even cry from that song. I mean, art is um is something kids connect in in the same level, you know, it's just it's just so important. And it's really what it's when you you can be free without uh as a kid, you know, like just draw and nobody cares how you draw, nobody cares if you get out of the line. You you're supposed to be a kid and be, you know, like do that. And so I think that uh art is so important when you're growing up and you know, and as an adult too, you know, nowadays, same thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

I I think it connects us on multiple different layers, it connects us with each other, it connects us with ourselves, and then it connects us with whatever higher power we believe in. I mean, I personally believe that anything that pours out of me onto a canvas or a surface, my art is not of me, it's through me. It's coming from a higher place.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Oh my gosh, that's so beautiful, Manox. I think so. I think so too. It's it's it's it's from a higher place and it connects you to it connects you to your community. It connects you to your neighbors, it connects you to your family, it connects you to your friends, and and and sometimes they might not understand what you're trying to say in your art, but they they they feel it. I mean, they see it and they understand that you are trying to communicate something. And I mean, it's just I think that feeling of what you just said is amazing and it's so important nowadays, and it's been important in the past, and it's always should be important in the future. That connection through art, that language through art.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

I I just know that in the time that I've been painting, and which has not been very long, you know, I dabbled a few years ago and then stepped away for a while, and now I've been painting, I guess, for maybe six months. And in that six months, it has it has really brought me back to me. It has connected me to me. It's so easy to lose ourselves in the world right now. There's so much going on, and um look life is so full and so busy, and there's so much noise, it's very easy to lose track of who you are. But I have found that my art has reconnected with me with who I am on a very profound level.

Painting As Meditation And Vulnerability

SPEAKER_01 11:49

I you just you just said a very important word, profound level. I mean profound. The the the art can take you to levels of of that prof profound is is of layers that you will never know they existed. And um it reminds you who you are and it brings us, it brings us back to us within us, and uh being able to express, you know, like when when things are going bad around us, when I am experiencing something that so much noise outside the world, good and bad, but uh you get distracted. You get distracted and from what you really want to say. And then when you connect again through your art and you express what you want to say through your art, all of a sudden you're in connection again with with the things that are important, and that's that's you and the world.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

What do you experience when you're painting? When you're in your studio by yourself, no distractions, it's just your canvas, your paints, your brushes, you, and you get lost in that. What do you experience?

SPEAKER_01 13:11

I am in, I'm gonna say something that maybe people will not believe it, but I think that if you have experienced that, you let me know. I am in total ecstasies when I'm in my studio alone. And not necessarily of happiness. Sometimes I'm in my studio alone and I I feel like I become this openness that my heart opens. And for some reason, I am very, very um, I get very emotional for good and bad. So that's a dangerous place to be when you are when you are in your studio and you don't distract, and then you start seeing what's happening in around you, and those things affect you in a way, and then I can cry, or it could be the opposite. I could laugh, I could be so happy. Things affect me in a way 10 times deeper. And nobody sees that, only me. I I'm the only one that experienced that moment in my studio because I kind of become this um vulnerable being. And if you put yourself in a burn uh in that vulnerability, then you're ready to create from within you. And sometimes it that's what I experience, and I have to be connected with music, like the music has to match what I'm feeling at the moment when I'm painting. You know, certain paintings I want to express peace, and I you know, because my paintings have for me is they have to express joy and peace and and you know, vulnerability and spirituality. So the music goes with the paintings, but I have done other things that you know, like they're very vibrant and they're very like the theme is different and it's a different theme. Like, and so I put like music that are like very happy beat, and you know, or if I doing an abstract painting that I just want to like dance in the abstract, I put my Latin music and I start creating. I mean, I have to be open of what I'm feeling at the moment to create. So, yeah, that's when I'm alone in my studio, it's a very um, it's it's it's it's a very strong experience of profundity, like you said. I I get to some I got to put myself profound in the moment.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

I think it's interesting how different we all experience it and yet how similar, you know. I I experienced something similar in some ways, but for me, mostly what I experience when I'm painting is the whole universe just goes away. Every problem, every care, every worry, every story, every person, every activity, everything for the time that I'm playing in the paint, it all just disappears. It's just me in the paint.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

You know what? I I experience that too, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

It's like a very, very um amplified form of meditation for me. And it's funny because when I paint, it feels like I'm meditating, but when I meditate, I actually paint in my mind while I'm in meditation. I paint more in my mind than I actually do in real life. I spend a lot of time in my mind, you know, in the mornings when I meditate, at night when I'm laying in the bed waiting to go to sleep. You know, you're just waiting for your body to just drift off to sleep. And in my mind, I'm on the canvas. I got the brushes and the paints, and I'm I'm painting.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Yeah, yeah. I I I I've I'm the same way. I can I can transform myself painting, you know, when I'm sleeping, when I'm in the shower. Sometimes I get these ideas at night painting, just like you said, that you find yourself and this, and like, like, what wait, wait, wait, wait, the idea go? Where where did it go? I need to like write it down or something, because I feel like sometimes when you're dreaming or where you're not dreaming, dreaming, but when you're like in a meditated state of you know, of you of being with yourself in your with your art in your mind, you create so many things, you know. And um, and you're right. What you said about being in a meditation state when you paint, that that that's definitely something I experienced. Definitely.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

It's so beautiful. It's a stillness that just doesn't really exist elsewhere for me. I I I've meditated for a number of years, but I've I've always kind of struggled with it a little bit. My mind just is going 90 miles an hour. It's hard to turn that off. But now I just think about painting while I'm meditating and let that be, you know, that higher that higher being just working through me in that moment with the inspiration and the the ideas, and it's pretty interesting.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

It is, but once you get in that, once you get in that moment, it's very hard to get out of that moment. But for me, I am so spacey and I'm so distracted, but so many things that I get like, you know, I gotta like take my time and then okay, it's time for it. Time for like clean the noise and getting to that stage. And sometimes I mean it lately it's been hard, but once you're there, it's like you don't want to get out of there. Right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

And it's probably creating is probably the best relief from the the rumbling chatter of everything that's making everyone anxiety, anxious right now.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Right. I mean it's a safe world. It's a very safe world, and that's why I like to um I like when people look at my paintings, feel safe. I mean because I want to feel safe. I want to feel in this world that everything is okay, so naive, so incredible, incredible naive. But that's that's what I want.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Yeah, I agree completely. So, Letitia, in your life, I mean, I we can we tend to try to separate and compartmentalize life. Here's my life, and here's my uh my creative journey, but they really are one and the same in that life, in that creative journey. What has been perhaps the most challenging thing that you have had to overcome?

Immigration, Identity, And Starting Over

SPEAKER_01 20:30

I feel like in my creative journey has you know, has been filled with many moments of boycotting myself. Like you could be in a place where you feel you can go, and then we artists tend to, I don't know, not all of us, but I have found myself a couple of times in my life that I chose not to go in a direction that could have put me in a higher level in my art. Uh, example, I had my first exhibition um and um I created something that I was from my in from my from the inside. It was a it was my first solo exhibition, uh, it was many, many years ago. And uh and surprisingly, it was a it was a big success. My second solo exhibition came three months later. I was a war, I was offered to have another solo exhibition in this other place. And and of course, after coming from an exhibition that I I painted paintings that were really, really deep and really, really strong, really, really um vulnerable. And you know, the theme was um how women in those times we we needed to get out, we needed to rebel. It was it was uh it was a very intimate show. And the second show, I was I didn't know what to do. I had three months. How am I? I don't want to show the same thing. I mean, it's three months, so I gotta do something else. And I chose the safe path. And the safe path was to paint pretty paintings, which is nothing wrong with that. I just, I just wasn't. the artists that pay pretty you know like like uh flowers and and and and fruits and stuff and and they were very pretty paintings and um but i i felt like um i felt like it wasn't my best work because my best work personally comes from what i want to express from the inside you know there are artists that their best work comes from like painting sunsets and flowers and oh they're so beautiful and i i look at their work and i'm like oh my gosh what a beauty that's their best work but my best work was different and so when i presented a show that people were expecting from me a lot more deep approach you know it was kind of like a disappointment it was a really bad exhibition for me it was not a very successful exhibition and from there I went blank without not knowing what to do next and and and I and I stayed in a in a for a very long time without painting so but I chose to do that so that's what I'm talking about boycotting ourselves and that was challenge very challenge for challenging for me to come back and decide what am I gonna paint first? Who am I gonna be as an artist? Do I want to be an artist? All these questions came and and that was very challenging and the second most challenging thing for me was when I immigrated here in the United States in 2007 from zero I mean I started here from zero. Nobody knew me nobody cared about me and nobody cares. You just have to work as everybody else and starting from zero was very challenging especially in my art. So I would say that you know those are the you know boycotting myself in in moments not it's nobody's fault it was my fault that those are those are very challenging you know because nobody's when someone puts you down or someone like it's it's not your problem right but when you make choices that are not the best for you whoa that becomes your problem so you got to figure out how to solve it. So I think that's that's very challenging.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

I I'll say it is I mean it's and from that I I think that you learned a whole lot more than you would from any kind of a a program or a course I mean it was I I can't imagine what it would be like to just start completely I mean a blank slate having nothing no connections no one and having to figure it out well we we have to acknowledge though that even though she came from a to a new place where she didn't know anyone no one knew her about her art she brought all of her experience and her skill with her.

Mortality Shock And The $700 Solo Show

SPEAKER_01 25:28

So she wasn't a completely clean slate you know you didn't you didn't have to learn to paint all over again um we we have Letitia we have a lot of conversation about becoming and I'm curious you know you came to a new country you didn't know anyone you had to start from scratch and I can see where that would be extremely challenging looking back you may have not realized that at the time but looking back now on that who was it that you had to become to build what you have built today to go from being brand new as a you in the United States and not knowing anyone to where you are now who did you have to become that stuff that happens in here not the stuff the external stuff you know you already had become an artist that's the that's the what what you became was an artist but who did you have to become to arrive where you are now wow that's a really um good question and it's a question that let me think for for for for a little bit um take your time so yeah you you you start from zero right um like you said I had my experiences in Mexico I I had my success in Mexico and um so uh you know which which I'm I want to add you know with those experiences you knew that you could do it again you did it once so you knew you could do it again you know I I don't I don't think I I I did it once I think I was I could have done it you know what I mean like I was in Mexico I had my shows and then you know I came back from that boycotting and I started selling my work and you know I never had a group exhibition in Mexico but I was selling with interior designers I was having I just finished my solo my third my third solo show in Mexico when I decided to come here. So I was becoming successful. I wasn't there yet but I was somehow starting to really you know I think um getting there I did had uh my first solo exhibition was in a very important museum in Mexico so that was a big that was big um so I feel that when I came here um I lost all those connections I I lost that history in a way right my experience is with me so I know who I am first of all I know who I am I know I am an artist even though I was teaching tennis when I first got here I couldn't be an artist right away I'm coming with my son okay 10 years old it's uh eight year old um he was eight year old when I came over here and I wasn't completely alone I had my sister you know I had a support system of my family back in Mexico back in here but I was I started from zero as far as I didn't even have a spoon you know like get an apartment get all the stuff that you need your basic stuff to survive then a job because I cannot survive with being an artist here okay and I wasn't surviving being an artist in Mexico only back there. I had a job and I also was an artist and I quit and had a job quit and had a job but uh when I first got here I was able to get a job as a tennis coach dash graphic designer um in a tennis academy so I was a tennis coach nobody knew me as as uh let's artist they knew me as coach letty and um I had to become an artist again from the bottom of my heart to to become you know I have to become an artist again because I was coach Letty for many years.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

What had to change in here for you to do that okay so there's always things that we have to let go of you this story.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

I don't know if I told you this story and I I said this story many times and this is a very um sad and happy story um and this is honestly the truth because you're asking me this question I was here as a tennis coach and actually I got married and hype Frank like he's my husband right now and he is um he he knew I was an artist but he would say lady you have your studio at your home and you say you're an artist but what why are you putting so many excuses? You go to teach tennis in the afternoon your job starts at 330 you have all day long to paint and why don't you paint you know and I have my studio at my home I have it and oh no and my my excuses were oh no no no no no no I need aspirations I need time tennis as a distraction I I need all that I keep putting all these excuses so one day um it's um you know very sadly very very sadly but I think that's what saved me I I have a uh I always said this story when they ask me this question or when when I talk about my story because I think this is this is what what happened to me I had a friend named Coqui she was very dear to me she was one of my best friends back in Mexico actually she was one of the pers the the she was one of my friends that told me Lady what are you doing here you need to go to the USA you need to keep painting quit your job you only need to paint she was also a collector of mine not like a big supporter of my art and um while I was here in the United States I don't remember if it was two or three years after I got here I I I don't remember exactly um I was told that she had cancer and um the moment I found out that she had cancer she passed away two months two months later and obviously that was a big I mean I I when you when you heard someone has cancer or an you always I you I always had hope I mean like I'm a hopeful person I'm I'm positive I'm thinking no no no you're you know you're gonna survive it like many many people survive cancer like she's gonna survive it when I found out she was already being struggling with a long time so I I and I I didn't even see her I I didn't even see her she passed away in two months two months um but I re I it that event in my life made me be coming because I thought about what she always told me letty paint paint paint paint you know what are you doing paint you're losing your time paint you know she was like and she had this personality energetic like very straightforward personality and um and and you can ask my husband is a true story I thought you know in my heart I thought if I had two months to live in this earth what do I want to be doing with my life you know of course it made me think about other things family friends and many things that are very deep but in in the way of becoming an artist I said what do I want to do do I really want to keep putting excuses not to paint and I quit my job that made me quit my job in the as a tennis coach put my first solo exhibition with no money in the bank$700 and I just said nobody's gonna discover me I'm just gonna put my job I'm just gonna put my solo show I start painting like crazy like like I got a sense of joy for becoming that artist again the sad part is that it came because of that experience.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

You had a slap of mortality in the face you know I I my best friend died eight years ago and it wakes you up and and then yeah yeah you know when my my my dad died in 2012 and then my friend my best friend died in 2017 and there was this moment when I realized you're not gonna live forever yeah what do you what are you doing with your life what are you you're not gonna live forever. What are you doing you know because there was all these one of these days one of these days I'm gonna take painting lessons one of these days I'm gonna do this one of these days I'm gonna do that and all of a sudden when you have that slap it's kind of like ooh yeah one of these days is today one of these days is today one of these days is today and it's for everybody it's not just for being an artist it's as a human being I think that it's just such a an important thing that um and I'm always being very spontaneous and I'm not a planner and I'm not but I think that that moment when humans when each of us realize that you know you know life what brings you joy it has to start today it cannot start yesterday.

Community Building And Facing Intimidation

SPEAKER_01 35:29

I mean cannot start tomorrow cannot start in a month cannot start in cannot start when you don't have money can it has to start some way or the other and you you have to start taking those little step steps to becoming is it's not gonna be oh I'm this art yeah I'm this artist now and I'm this successful artist now. But you have to start somehow becoming always includes a certain amount of letting go to become we have to release the things and the pieces no that the people the places and the things that don't serve us we have to let go to become the person we most want to be yeah and probably get a little uncomfortable you know like a bit get a little like it's sacrifice it's a lot of sacrifice but it's a lot of joy and it's a lot of you know oh it's it's looking back what did you let go of well I I let go of of the of a paycheck that's one I let go of the the the security that having a secure job would make it and you know I let go of a community that was the only people I knew like I was tennis coach so I will work with children every day and I will see their parents and I will talk to parents and I will go to the tournaments and so that was a community like nobody around everybody that went to my show that I did that night when I quit my job everybody was from the tennis course which is amazing it's a great community because it doesn't have to be an artist community as long as you have a community people will support you right so I had a lot of support they went to my show I saw pieces it was amazing but I had to let them go because they were my tennis community and I started creating I quit my job and I felt very lonely so I had to let go of my comfort zone with that community that at that moment was my community and I was very lonely at the beginning because I am um I like people I am nowadays I'm more extroverted when I was young I was very shy but like right now if I tell people I was shy they will not believe it. But yeah it is a little hard to believe I I am people I am a people person and um at the beginning of my studio in my home and I didn't see anybody all day and I was just working and creating I'm thinking I did I did the right thing this feels very lonely um so that was a sacrifice but obviously you and I know that is not lonely at all. As a matter of fact is full of people and artists and events and you know all kinds of stuff but um that sometimes we are looking for that loneliness again.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

But um yeah I think that at the beginning I let go of many comfortable things that I love that you called that you had to let go of your your comfort zone. Yeah you know where it it's this conversation is not an easy conversation. We have it a lot and it's really hard to get people to get down to what it is that they had to become and what they had to let go of.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Without saying it I heard you in some way say that you didn't say it but you had talked about how you had all these excuses while you weren't painting why why you weren't painting and you had to let go of all those excuses too didn't you oh yeah I I have to let go of all and more than I have because I I can count them with hundred hands how many excuses we can find not to paint. I mean we can find any limiting beliefs that you had to let go of huh did you have any limiting beliefs that you had to let go of at that time no I think that I think when it happened it it hit me so strongly deeply that it wasn't any doubt in my mind I did not care I I had$700 in my bank account because my paycheck was month to month to month to month so I had and I told my husband and I told my mom I said I'm putting my own solo exhibition nobody's gonna discover my art and I'm gonna rent this place you know renting the place I didn't know any anybody here in McKinney or Frisco or anybody in the arts community I wasn't connected with any artists with any art association. I didn't even know how to do it. I didn't even know they existed you know what I mean it's just I was so not connected to the art world even though I wanted it so bad. And um and I lost my thoughts see I'm spacey but um yeah I I I the the oh$700 in my bank account I rented the place it was$300 for one night I you know I did the invitations I I worked really hard you know it's literally that's everything I spent in the show my husband helped me a lot he built like 20 canvases because the week before the show they told me I couldn't hang them so I needed the the easel so he built them for me so he helped me a lot and um and I and my mom was like you crazy you're gonna let go of that oh my gosh and my husband was like Letty I mean think about it twice are you I mean he was 100% supportive but at the same time he goes what are you gonna do I mean I cannot do anything else back then I had a TNT visa a work visa that was helping me I was the graphic designer of the tennis academy so I only could do graphic design and help with that particular with that particular um employer so it's not like I can go and get another job I couldn't get another job at all because or else I would have been um I would have been breaking the law my visa did not uh so I said I'm just gonna be I'm just gonna be an artist you know I don't gonna be an employer anymore I'm just gonna be an artist and uh and uh I became um this this artist from from having from zero and everybody thought I was crazy but I did good in that show and my husband was well well maybe it's not such an idea you become an artist you did some good money there and I was like yeah and one thing led to another and another and another and I reached out and we moved to Frisco and I didn't know how to start and I reached out to the associations art associations and and everything went from there.

Being Before Doing: Clarity And Becoming

SPEAKER_02 42:44

You know I I'm hearing somebody who had to summon a great deal of courage to do what you did. Yeah I mean you you had to go for broke you know you had to play full out it was like okay nope no no can't get a job because of the visa so you were backed into a corner and you just turned and you know what is the art of war you know never leave yourself a place to retreat you didn't have a place to retreat so you had to go forward and that's probably the number one thing that made you successful yeah yeah I I I think that if we all as humans not just necessarily as an artist but if we really go forward and and really loss that fear and we talked about it the other day remember lost the fear of failure and we move forward things happen because they have to happen I mean you don't have another choice they have to happen and I I'm not saying it's a sure thing for everybody because it's also there's so many things that go in the mix first of all they have you have to start from yourself being lose the fear and being brave but also a little bit of luck you know and a lot a lot of work and and thick skin you gotta grow thick skin yeah yeah well I'm not very good at that but yeah you gotta grow well you're probably better than

SPEAKER_04 44:24

You think you are where you've gotten yeah, the and I think the other crucial ingredient, I mean, there's you can talk about luck all day long, but you put in the reps, you you made it happen. And you didn't know the associations, you didn't have the connections, you didn't know all the right people, but I'm pretty sure you got the attention of people who could connect you.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Yes, that's a you because I I started, you know, and it was when I said luck, is like I went to Frisco. I said, How am I gonna start here? I quit my job, had a like, you know, I had a good show, and I I gotta keep going, I gotta keep going. And I start looking in Facebook and poop, Frisco Arts Association is having like, you know, for artists, come and join us, blah, blah. Maybe I can meet somewhere there. And I was so intimidated. I was this kind of person that if I would walk in a in a room full of artists or or people that are related to the arts, I would get so intimidated. I will be like, oh my god, there's artists in the room, you know, like I will be so scared. And I thought, oh my God, I have to go. And I I was this close not to go. I mean, I even told my husband, I don't think I want to go to the lady, let's go. I mean, you're gonna meet people, you're gonna, and I'm never gonna forget the first part, the first person I meet there was um Tammy. She was the president of the Frisco Arts, and she was, you know, someone told me, you need to talk to that person over there. Hi, my name is Leticia, I'm new, and I'm like, oh, don't worry about it. I'm gonna introduce you to the visual art skills of Frisco, you're gonna blah blah blah. I met like so many artists at night. I met Tammy, I started my membership, and I went to the first meeting two weeks later, and I was like walking in the meeting. There were only like 15 or 20 people there. I mean, and they're probably just as scared as I was, like, you know, the VH. And I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna sit here and not talk and see, you know, like I was like, I was so I remember that first meeting, and um and it was community, Maddox. It was community, it was it was meeting people, it was it was open your heart and your and your and your and just go meet people and be yourself and let people in in your life and start building relationships that you never know where are they gonna take you in the future.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

This is important, this is an important piece of being an artist and the one that a lot of people don't really get. They don't do it. They hide, in fact, somebody said the other day, I hide behind my art. And that makes it really, really hard because art buyers, they want to many of them, a lot of them, want to know the artist. They want to know the artist's story. It's real hard to put your art out there and not put yourself out there. It's it it doesn't, I don't think it's terribly effective.

SPEAKER_04 47:31

And I I would uh argue that even collectors that may say that they don't care about knowing the artist, they're definitely persuaded. I mean, it it definitely colors their decisions and and what tips the scales in your favor if you're willing to put yourself out there.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

I agree completely. Yes, Letitia.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

Yes, and that's hard to do.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

You you have identified, you know, who you had to become to get where you are today. Let's talk for a moment, and we're getting near the end of our time. But I want to hear if you've given any thought, and if you haven't, then I'm gonna put you on the spot and you can give it thought right this minute. But what got you here won't get you there. So, in your next iteration, you know, we we get where we are, it's the pit stop, and now we we grow beyond the pit stop. The next, the next um iteration of Letitia more successful than she is today. Thank you. Who do you need to become in order to take it to that next level? That once again, we're talking about stuff that we have to change inside here.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

That's a good question again. Or what you guys need to let go of, you know, to move forward. Okay, so uh you know, at this, I'm gonna be totally honest. I I am in a moment um where sometimes I doubt what where I'm going with my art. I know what I want. How am I gonna get there? And I feel sometimes that uh maybe the way I'm going is not the right way, and sometimes I feel this is the way I have to go, and sometimes I don't want to go this way, and sometimes I do.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

So it's you're you're touching on something that is really big right now because this comes up for every artist. And what we tend to do is we stop and we think about you said I know what I want, and you're asking yourself, what do I have to do to get there? And that's the wrong question.

SPEAKER_01 49:59

The question is What would be the right question?

SPEAKER_02 50:02

Who do I need to be to get there? Not what do I need to do? Because the doing always flows from the being. When we go straight to the doing, we don't do well. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 50:14

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

When you can step in, when you can determine who you need to be in order to get there, then you know what you need to do, and you know how you need to do it, and you know who you need to do it with. But it all comes from the being, and we as human beings almost always go about it the opposite way, and that's why so many of us struggle. That's right. Being always leads doing. When we just do, we always do the wrong things because we didn't come at it from a place of who we're being. Makes sense. Makes totally sense.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

Make meh, you know, wow. I I it's a it changes the perspective of the of the journey.

SPEAKER_02 51:02

Um we're so caught up in what we gotta do that we've forgotten to think about who we need to be.

SPEAKER_04 51:09

Well, and it's it's not our fault. I mean, it's the the framework of the culture.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

Right. I mean who we need to be who it's a very deep question, and I think I need if I would want to be, I would have to be the same person when I lost my friend. You know, I have to lose the fear. I lose to I need to I need to be brave, I need to be fearless, I need to be open to probably lose my comfort zone. I need to be very open to probably lose, you know, all a lot of what I've built to rebuild again what I need to be.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

You need to act as if you only have$700 in your bank account.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

And two months to leave. Yes, yes, and two months to leave. Yes. Oh my gosh. Has that given you any clarity? Yes, a lot of clarity. And it's been, you know, I you guys are amazing. I mean, like, I don't know how you guys did it, but I was an open book. It's it makes it gives me a lot of clarity. It gives me a lot of sense of uh of who I am. And I hope that uh people that are listening gives them a little sense of who they are too, you know, because when we share our stories, you know, they they either they relate or they not relate, but hopefully in a positive way.

The Walkers Are Going Home

SPEAKER_04 53:04

That's the idea. There's uh a a wise teacher I once had that said uh success leaves clues. And with these conversations, I I think that artists who are listening are just looking for pieces of the recipe that they can pull from to help them on their way.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

Letitia, you you said you had reached some clarity. So for the benefit of the listener, and for your benefit as well, can you articulate what that clarity is right here in real time in the moment?

SPEAKER_01 53:43

Yes. Um the clarity of really embrace who you are, who I am by becoming, by by doing by being, not by doing, was very strong because I it it really puts me in a way of losing the fear of and losing my comfort. And it's just so it's so powerful that it's almost um I don't have words because it um it's very strong, it's very strong, it's very um if you really go with if you really go inside you and you really are honest with yourself and you really get those ghosts and fears out of you, you know, it will give you the clarity, and in order to have that clarity, you have to be, like you said, you have to be. You have to be, you have to be, and so I would say really, and it's a cliche sentence, it's something so so heard, but really you have to act like if today is the last day you're living in earth, you have to live your life like there's no tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

I mean I think it's important to say that becoming isn't about being someone new. Becoming isn't about being somebody different than you are or someone new. Becoming is about coming home to who you've always been below all of the bullshit that we drowned in in life. Exactly. It's about coming home to you. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 55:54

And I just I was just talking about that um with my husband about um my home is it doesn't matter where we are, my home is with you, you know. Like it's my home is so deep. It's my home is is is me. So but you have to really um I mean and it's it's really being truthful to yourself. This this is becoming is really hard because you have to be truthful of who you really are. And sometimes not that we're not that person that we are, but we just don't want to show the whole being.

SPEAKER_04 56:48

Yeah, and I I think that we get tricked. Uh a thread that I'll I'll pull on with becoming has to do with how we perceive time. And we have, and I think you hit on it with living as if you only have two months, because there is that that chronological time that's dictated by calendars and clocks, but there's also that quality of time that has to do with being with someone who you love deeply, that has to do with appreciating sunsets, that has to do with being fully realized and achieving those things that you know that you're you're meant to be and to fully inhabit.

SPEAKER_00 57:41

Oh my god. Yeah, that's so beautiful. That's all beautiful. So beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 57:47

Letisha, I want to acknowledge you for the depth that you've gone through, gone to today. You know, it's not always easy to to go down inside, you know, that deeply when you're with other people. You know, we go to that depth sometimes. I think that's part of why art speaks to us the way it does, is because it connects us with that home that you talked about. It brings us home, and home is inside of us.

SPEAKER_01 58:15

Exactly. Exactly. I I invite everybody to go home to themselves, to go home.

SPEAKER_02 58:24

Yes, right. Just I just really want you to hear that I'm just in awe of how vulnerable you got and how real you got and how deep you were willing to have this conversation. It was beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 58:38

You know, and you would thank you. You took me there, but you know, and and you made me think about something really. Everybody that talked to me about my art and they tell me, where are they going? Where are your walkers going? And always said, I don't know. I just think they're going to a beautiful place. I just I don't know where they're going, but they're going to the light, they're going to joy and spirituality, blah, blah, blah. You make me think that they're going home.

unknown 59:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 59:09

Yes. Maybe they're going home. They're going home. And home isn't a physical place. It's it's it's it's they're going home. They're they're gonna find themselves within. They're oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 59:21

I mean, like it just, it just why didn't y'all tell me I was sitting in the dark? I forgot to turn the light on before we hit the record button. Yeah, thank you for having this conversation with us. This was absolutely delightful.

SPEAKER_01 59:41

Yes, thank you. Well, you are welcome, and thank you for inviting me to talk to you, and thank you for making me open my truth and my home to you. Because I'm literally in my home.

SPEAKER_02 59:56

It's it's been an honor.