#067: The Connection Between Sexual Energy and Creativity With Myola Woods

What actually fuels creativity?

Most of us think creativity lives in the mind… an idea, a talent, or a skill we develop. But what if creativity comes from somewhere deeper? Something that moves through the body… through emotion… through the very life force that animates us.

In this episode, Maddox and Dwight sit down with Australian educator and facilitator Myola Woods to explore a topic many creatives sense but rarely talk about openly… the connection between sexual energy and creative energy.

Myola shares her personal journey of discovering how sexuality, trauma, creativity, and authentic self-expression are deeply intertwined. At the heart of the conversation is a simple but powerful idea… the same life force that creates life is also the energy that fuels imagination, expression, and creative courage.

Together they explore how cultural conditioning often disconnects us from that vital energy… and how reconnecting with the body can awaken creativity in powerful ways.

This isn’t a conversation about technique or productivity… it’s about rediscovering the creative life force that has always been inside us.

Myola's Profile
Myola's Website

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Transcript

Cold Open On Shame And Healing

SPEAKER_00 0:34

And certainly, you know, most of our shame happened in community. So the opposite needs to happen for us to heal, it often needs to happen in community as well.

SPEAKER_06 0:58

Hello, community. You're here with Dwight and Maddox, your hosts. This is For the Love of Creatives podcast. And today our featured guest is Myola Woods.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Welcome, Mayola.

SPEAKER_06 1:12

Thank you. Glad to have you, Myola. Today we're going to have, I think, a very interesting conversation, and we've been very excited about this. I'm going to turn it over to Myola for a moment and give her just a moment or two to tell you guys who she is and what she's about, and then we'll go from there.

Sexual Energy As Life Force

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Thank you. So it's my pleasure to be here. There's just find I listen to a few of your podcasts, and they're just amazing how you bring out creative spirit. And I just thrilled about me. So, you know, if you haven't worked out, I live, I'm an Australian, and that's where the accent comes from. And I really have been on a journey of self-discovery with myself and how, you know, sexuality, how our sexual energy works, how trauma impacts that, what our history does. I have been on a very large discovery over time, how to work out how it is that I can be my best authentic creative self and how and how to teach that to others. And it hasn't always been a very smooth journey. There's lots of hiccups and rides and roller coasters and and um but one of the things that I love to do is bring is show people how to use their creativity, how to use their sexual energy to bring more in their life to enhance their creativity, to enhance their their love.

SPEAKER_06 2:47

I love this. And and we don't realize how sexual energy is it's the qi, it's the prana, it's all those other things that you can call it. It is our life force. And you can use it for anything you want, not just sex, right? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Absolutely. We have very, I think we have a very narrow opinion. I mean, I'm not sure what the sex education in the States is like, but here in Australia, we focus in high school, we focus very much on, you know, don't get pregnant, don't get a disease. That's the that's the that's the scope.

SPEAKER_06 3:29

Contraception is absolutely same here.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

So there's no scope. And I think, you know, we miss a really big opportunity with young people that they could be curious, that we've got a whole body to explore. There's a whole body of um curiosity and pleasure, and we just narrow it down to putting, you know, genitals together. That's a very, it's a very narrow point of view.

SPEAKER_06 3:58

Well, I you know, I can't speak to other cultures, but in the United States, we just it's a top, it's a taboo topic, basically. I mean, most of us reached puberty between 10 and 12. My father waited till I was 16 to have the birds and bees conversation with me. And then all he had to say was, Well, you know, your older brother got pregnant when he was your age, and you don't want that to happen. He got his wife, his girlfriend pregnant. You don't want that to happen to you, so you need to wear what condoms. That was the whole birds and bees conversation right there. And he waited till I was 16.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Yeah, that's way too late, isn't it? I mean, and this is the thing. I mean, we focus on contraception, whereas if we from a young age, you know, as appropriate, if we, you know, said to people that, you know, you can have an orgasm touching your knee and you know, exploring, you know, your elbow, that would give teenagers a wider range to explore than you know, it's kind of taught this is what you need to do, and you and you need to do it quickly and you need to do it soon. Um otherwise you're out of the click.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

Yeah, and you need to feel bad about it. Right? You you gotta have guilt and shame, or you know, or else it doesn't count.

SPEAKER_06 5:14

Um I'm not a parrot in this lifetime. And um I but I do know that if I were a parent, that whole sex conversation would have happened before they reached puberty. Because when the hormones rage suddenly and you don't even know what's happening to you and you're not prepared, my God, that is so unfair to children. And yet we don't we we don't prepare them in any way. We don't prepare women for menstrual cycles, for God's sake.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

No, no, we there is not a lot of preparation going on.

SPEAKER_06 5:51

No, one day you think you're dying because you're bleeding and you don't have any idea that that's normal and natural. Oh, I've heard those stories until I'm blue.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

Yes, yes, yes, there's lots of those stories. And in saying that, people generally then people with vulvas don't understand their anatomy very well.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

They don't know where things come from, they don't understand how pleasure works very well at all. It's yes, yes, that that conversation. I mean, in my house, I have four grown children now, like they're between 19 and 27 or something. And we had those sorts of conversations young. I mean, not in detail, because you know, no matter what job you have or whatever, you still don't want to think about your parents, you know, having pleasure or sex or any of those things. It's still an ooh.

SPEAKER_05 6:43

Which is whole jacked up to do, didn't it? That's jacked up.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

That's right. So, but I, you know, we had conversations and as they grew, I left things around. People said to me, just leave things around and they will look at them for themselves. And I think that my children's friends always liked coming to their weird mum's house because we had, you know, pictures of nudity, and um, there were books on the shelf that were a bit, you know. And I would come home sometimes and the books would be moved, and I would think that's that's really good. They're having conversations that are different than oh, you know, I need to be scared and it's frightening, and what do I do? There's there's that's a much we had a much open house. I'm not saying that we didn't have that we couldn't have improved or whatever, but it was much different to how you know I grew up or how lots of people grew up.

SPEAKER_04 7:38

Well, speaking of how how you grew up, I I would love to know a little bit of how you got put on this journey.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

How I got put on this journey. Thank you, Dwight. It's a great question. Um, I got here, I have a you know, I have an Irish, you know, background, so I guess we just inherently have um a nervous system that attracts trauma and a nervous system that likes that feels comfortable in chaos and feels comfortable in you know that's not saying things and having things hidden. So I grew up in a in a place that was, I think, for a child, a bit difficult. I had to kind of know what was going on and had to understand the nuances of things way too early, which is amazing for me now. But at the time I think it was a bit tricky. And what I always was curious about was how how could I be better and how I I I guess I felt like in this environment, I felt like there was something wrong with me rather than maybe maybe it was then that kind of be could have been tweaked a little bit better, but maybe I think I took it a bit, I think I took it a bit personally. So I've always it was, you know, I suppose that started, and I had a very spiritual connection. I had was either we went, I wouldn't have said we were particularly religious, but we we did, we had an influence from church, and I got to spend some time with some nuns. So I had a very spiritual um part of me that was different to just going to church. And then as I grew, I you know, I went into yoga, I went into more spiritual, and I suppose that was also a way to be able to find answers in what how I grew up. Like so to find answers so you can kind of spiritualize things to find answers and find growth and improve. And then I kind of worked out, I did lots of body work then, lots of massage, lots of body work, lots of getting into my pelvis, into my body, into here. And I found that I couldn't, I didn't really, I wasn't really be able to express myself with a partner very well. I was okay on my own, but I wasn't, I didn't, yeah, I didn't orgasm very well with a partner. And so I thought there's something not quite right here. I can go and have yeah, I can have experiences on my own. Now we would call it, we have words for it, we would call it eco-sexuality. I love how, you know, as things grow, they get names. They get it. Um whereas you know, I was communing with God and the I was communing with God and the nature and the trees and the birds. I was and so I kind of realized this is not quite right. I mean, it's amazing. But since I'm a human here on earth, I need to I need to be able to work this into being able to have this experience with humans, have this experience here on earth with people. And that I think it was the turning point of m working with that pleasure for here on earth.

SPEAKER_06 10:53

You know, I I think there's a little bit of a theme unfolding here I'm seeing, and and that is, you know, we talked about how sexual energy is life force. It's just energy. And we know that art is life and life is art. They're they're one and the same. You can't separate them. But I'm also feeling this sense that we are spiritual creatures, whether we know it or not, whether we consciously say it or or practice it, you can't separate spirit from life or life from spirit. And that's totally separate from religion. Religion's kind of something else. Not to make it wrong or anything, but spirituality is it it is an overarching thing that religions fall under it in some shape, form, or fashion. It's not either spirituality or religion, the way people tend to do that or you. Yeah, I don't believe that. I think that life is spirituality. And so that's come across all these different, you know, it's it's a unified thing. I I see that and and I hear that in what you're saying. I'm curious to know you certainly weren't raised the way you raised your children. How did you come by knowing that something needed to be different? And and how did you step into probably the courage that it perhaps took to do it differently? Because sex is a pretty scary topic sometimes for a lot of people.

Trauma Spirituality And Finding Pleasure

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Yeah, it can be scary, can't it? Um I you know, I think I just wanted something different, and I followed the breadcrumbs. I think how I don't know, that's often been my life that there's there's breadcrumbs to to follow. And I I you know I had good mentors um about with the spirituality, and I had you know some really deep, deep people around. I don't know, I don't know how I came across them, but I I I obviously was seeking. Um I think I just fell into the right things at the right time to help me grow, and then to know that if I wanted to create something different here, I needed to be different. And the way that I brought my children up needed to be different. And no, it wasn't always easy. And um it was swimming against the current. That's okay. That's okay. Yeah, that's that's okay. It doesn't yeah, I don't I've not really thought it needs to be easy, it needs to be better, it needs to be what else, and all and had the curiosity, and yeah, and that's not to say everything turned out perfectly by a long shot, or that everything was smooth. You just kind of worked on the things that were in place in the beginning um to create something different. When we went to a Steiner school, we went, we did lots of different things. We we went to different like education was was was important for me, for them to have something. And that always didn't go smooth. But then you get a bunch of, you know, the idea is, you know, you get a a bunch of conscious people or a bunch of people who think differently together and things will go smoothly. It's not been my experience ever. The more people um, you know, have different thoughts, then you, you know, you don't only have one me to deal with, you now have 20 or 30 people that you're trying to wrangle into something and everyone's got a totally different. So that's also been my lesson in community, is how you know they say you know, if you want to go fast, go along, and if you want to go far, take your community, and to how to bring everyone into some sort of way that we can go together, particularly when people have such um distinct uh thoughts and distinct ways of being that they want to how to wrangle that so the whole community can go forward and the whole community can collaborate together. That has been that has been a big part of my journey as well, is bringing those, bringing that harnessing that energy together.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:13

How did you do that? How did you bring people into community around sexual energy?

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Well, yeah. I mean I I have been lucky to have been with some good people to set. I mean the sexuality world in general is filled with all sorts of um beings and lots of like all industries I suppose, but the sexuality industry is a bit a bit more if something goes wrong it it has I think it has a bigger impact. And certainly, you know, most of our shame happened in community. So the opposite needs to happen for us to heal, it often needs to happen in community as well. So I've had some really good role models and some really good people who I've had some real really good role models of what not to do as well, like not to like there can be a real big power dynamic and there can be um things happen, you know. I mean just generally speaking, I'm gonna put a little pin here, but generally speaking, I don't know about you two, but you know, even when I have lots of skills, but even when I'm aroused, my brain is not what thinking uh rationally or doesn't have the communication skills that it does when it's when it's calm. So when you heighten that into being aroused in a sexual space, you know, you there needs to be some really clear, really amazing boundaries in place and places where people can bring everything. People can bring their past um you know, triggers, bring things into the future, bring you know, everything can be welcome, not just the orgasmic stuff. Because often when we're working with the orgasmic stuff, everything else comes up in between. So bringing that community in safety means, you know, for me, means everything's welcome. And we stay non-judgmental, we stay like a tree, you know, has seen everything, but you know, nothing kind of kind of takes it on. And we be there for each other regardless of what's what's happening. Um we come back to that community, we come back to that whole, and that's not always easy. And keep coming back to that that creation, like what what got us here? And what do we want to do? Because everything in the middle is in the way of all of the pieces are in the way of what we want to create in the world, what we want to be in the world, how we want to have our community. So there's lots of you know, talks, lots of safety, lots of embodiment practices, lots of working through shame in public places in a really safe way. Like I'm not suggesting we go to the supermarket and do that on that.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Sure.

SPEAKER_06 18:04

Okay, that's the second time you've mentioned shame, and I want to kind of focus on that for a minute because I you know, this is just me, but I want your take. I kind of feel like, of course, there's no question there's an insane amount of of shame for most people around sex. But what's the origin of that shame? I I kind of feel like that it's religiously based. Most of it.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

Yeah. I I I I I think that you know, when Dwight spoke about it being, you know, you needed to needed to be awful in some aspect, you needed to have guilt, you needed to have, I think that's that's key. And if we if I mean there are probably many reasons that we have shame. Um, but I think really religion is one of them. I mean, you know, we're taught, I mean, do if you go to any sort of religion, you're taught that, or most religions, that you know, we got kicked out of the Garden of Eden because we were naughty. Um, and then we had to put clothes on, and then we had to to do things. So um I think yes, it it's there is a a a way for it to stem back.

SPEAKER_06 19:15

So very, very yes, that I was really blessed in that department. I was not raised in a household that preached shame about sex. We went to church on Sundays until I was maybe about 11 years old, and then there were some dynamics in the family that changed, and we stopped going to church. I was ever so grateful because it was not my thing. You know, I can remember sitting in the pew in a very, very young age and hearing the preacher say, you know, you're all sinners. And the little boy, I was the little boy at the time, so it wasn't the inner little boy, it was just me. I didn't do this outside, but on the inside, I was going, uh-uh. I didn't believe that. I just didn't believe that. My family never ever talked about sex in a shameful way. It was a normal, healthy part of life. I mean, they didn't run around naked or fornicate in front of us or anything like that, but it was just a a normal, natural thing that people did. There was and so I didn't I didn't get that shame, not religiously and and not in the home. And I can tell you, man, uh I look around me and I I can't relate to a lot of the sexual shame that I hear people talk about. It's just not my experience.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

I was just gonna ask you, how do you think, how do you think growing up in that environment changed? I mean, because you see lots and lots of other people. So one of the things you don't have is you don't you you don't resonate, you don't understand, you don't resonate with that shame.

SPEAKER_06 20:51

Do you think that it changed anything else in the way that you behave or the way that you I would venture to say that poured over into perhaps every area of my life because shame is so rooted in in sex and then it pours out of there and goes into other things. And so I have never been a person that I I don't just experience much shame. I experience a little bit of embarrassment from time to time. Okay, but that's a different energy than than shame.

SPEAKER_04 21:24

Yeah, I I often have to be reminded of how people have boundaries that that's set by whatever whatever it was that formed them, you know, whatever Victorian values they cling to. Because in a lot of ways, I've had to just be practical. When I was enlisted, uh it was it was common that we'd have communal showers or situations where just for practical reasons, we had to get naked, we had to get naked quick because maybe you're going through some kind of a decontamination. And you know, there are situations where I'm uh working with medical professionals, and it's one of those things where they're they're trying to give me all of the the warnings and trying to make sure that they don't have a me too situation or or whatever it is. And I I have to tell 'em, like, I understand why we're here, let's just get to it. There's nothing sexual about this. Let's get to work.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

That's that's a good point, isn't it? That our programming Well, I don't know. I'm gonna I mean I uh I'm gonna go again with you know I live in Australia, live in the States. I have some German friends that this is not quite the same for. Um but often, you know, particularly uh in my culture, if you're nude, then that has something sexual to do with it. Like it's just nude, like it's just not and and that's not to say that it is it can't be sexual, because anything can be sexual. Um but it doesn't mean that it is just because you're nude or just because um yeah, so we we have this with this funny programming that nudity equals sexuality. I mean, there are lots of people having sex with their clothes on.

SPEAKER_05 23:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_06 23:13

Yes, yes. When when I was somewhere in my 20s, I got invited to a nude pool party. And it was a complex that was clothing optional. And so people were coming out of their house wearing nothing but a laundry basket to end, you know, headed over to the washateria. Um, there were naked people playing volleyball, and we were getting in line to get food at the food table and playing in the pool. And I came home for a holiday and was telling some of my family members about going to this nude pool party. And everybody was laughing and talking about it, and it wasn't this big deal. And my dad pulls me over the side afterwards and he goes, How did you do that? Like without getting aroused. And I said, gee, dad, I didn't even think about it. The pool party was it wasn't about sex, it was about nudity, and it's two completely different things. I mean, could it have had a yes, you know, is there likely when everybody gets naked that it could lead to that? Yes, but nobody, nobody in the pool, none of the men got erect. It was a mixed pool. There were men and women. None of the men got erections in the pool. I I didn't even think about that, much less, you know, but it was just a difference in how his generation saw it and how my generation saw it. I understand that most nudist colonies, when they go on these nude weekends, it is not about sex. I've talked to a bunch of people that have that are involved in that. It is not about sex. No. We we tend to, even though we feel shame about sex, we make sex about everything. We sell with sex, marketing is with sex, we just everything is done with sex. So I wanna, I want to give our our community a real life story, something they can really sink their teeth into. So we've talked about how sexual energy is just energy and can be used for anything. Can you tell a story in your own life where you creatively took that sexual energy and utilized it to achieve something, to do something to to yeah, that you that you set a goal with so they can really kind of get and and unpack that so they understand how that sexual energy is being used to do that.

Safety Boundaries In Erotic Community

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Sure, sure, sure. Okay, great question. So our I mean, our sexual energy, I take a little step back.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Our sexual energy is, you know, I I kind of know that we, you know, we can make ourselves in petri dishes now, but essentially you still need a kind of spark. So for me, our sexual energy is that spark. It's that place in me that comes from that is connected to everything, that is connected to whatever, you know, if you want to call it the divine, the religious, but that place in us that makes that is the is is connected, that make that forms the oneness, forms our connection here, the oneness, the connection here. So when I so for me, that it lives within me, that lives within you, that lives within everyone, it lives within the trees, it lives within the grass, it the animal like it lives within all of us. We are all the rocks, you know, it lives it lives within everything, because that's kind of you know what our what we're here for. So connecting into that energy, um, and orgasmicness or as orgasms are frequencies. I mean, I think I get to say that now. I think we we are at a stage where you know we think everything's free uh frequencies, you know, whether it's sadness or happiness or you know the 528 hertz or the seven, like I think we we we know that uh everything is frequencies now. So I believe that an orgasm orgasm is a frequency. So when we're in tune with that frequency, then we can have orgasms with anything or anywhere. It's a frequency, it's something you are, it's not it's not something that somebody gives to you. I'm not saying the sharing's not great, not saying that that, but there is also this place within us that is ours, it's our sexual energy, it's our orgasm, it's our it's in here, it's not something outside. So when I'm setting up to create, you know, I guess a simple word could be sex magic, is is a is a term people would understand, or a ritual. I would do that in a ritualistic space, really simply a lot of the time. You know, I might have a nest, I might have, you know, and you know, this can be done individually or with a partner, but you know, I'm just gonna a nest and some candles, and maybe I've you know cleared the space a little bit, and I've made that there's cushions or I've made it comfortable as well. So I've set my space up. I'm also setting my intention for this is something that is going to be special, going to be sacred, going to be and then I would go into a ritualistic space or an erotic space with myself. Talk about me first, because that's the easy the easy part and go into a space of you know connecting with my body, my legs, my arms, and leaving probably because we want to build it, we want to build that sexual energy like a fire. So we want to put a little bit of you know, a little bit of kindling on it, we want to start a little bit of like like seduction. We don't want to rush in there. So we're putting a little bit of kindling in there, we're putting a little bit of you know, we're using the whole body, you might have I mean, and that can be an array of things. You can have lots of toys, you can have feathers, you can have leaves, you can have massage oil. And being curious, what does my body like? What does my body want? And then playing with that, like so, playing with arousal, playing with this feels really good, I like it, let's do more of that. And arousal is often like riding a like a surfer on a wave. You need to kind of if you want to keep going, you've got to find the next wave, you've got to find one one way is not going to do it. You've got to keep, you've got to keep riding it and working out, okay. So if I change my pressure, if I change my speed, if I bring it up, I bring it down, I bring I'm having fun because it's fun, yeah. So I it's yeah, I and I'm riding the waves. And I've you know set my intentions. So for me, one of the the bigger things that I can think about is wanting a I was wanting a partner. And something as people think something people can relate to as wanting a partner, and I used my creative energy and my sexual energy, and as I was you know, playing, I was also visualizing somebody else. You know, what would it be like if there's a partner here? What would it be like? Our mind actually doesn't know the difference between reality and fantasy, you know.

SPEAKER_05 30:38

True, true, true, true.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Yeah, so bringing that partner in and then and feeling that and using that that orgasmicness to bring that home. I mean when we're creating we can have all the intentions we need we want. It doesn't mean we then have to hand it over as well. So having the intention and using this for this. I'm uh after that that process, I made I don't know, uh a Godzai, like a little um it's like a little craft thing that you kind of make. We I had already had everything ready.

SPEAKER_06 31:24

With with yarn, you weave it with yarn, yeah, like yarn, yep.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

That's it, that's it, that's exactly it.

SPEAKER_06 31:31

So don't isn't that called hijos in Mexican in uh Spanish? Hijos?

SPEAKER_02 31:35

I think that would make it nice. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

So I use the energy infused into yes, um and then when I was finished, I then hung that up. Not long after that, I met somebody very different. So it was it was it was a very that was a a very poignant process in there. Um but over the years, you know, you can use you can you can use that energy for yourself for health and for projects and for money, and our sexuality often the clearer what I notice and what when I work with people is the clearer we get on our sexuality, often our bank account opens. As our heart opens, our pelvis opens, everything opens, we receive more, which then in turn often turns up in different kinds of money as well.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

I couldn't help but draw a certain connection that you you made as you were describing just the the negotiation sexually. Um when you're yeah when you're talking about riding the wave, it's very similar to what you're talking about with uh dealing with communities where there are different ideas and different ways of doing things. And the way that you bring everyone together is you're finding that kind of attunement. You're finding those things, those parts where you can agree and parts that need to be explored and negotiated. And it seems like no matter if you're dealing with just yourself, there's a level of that practice that you're doing just to just to be able to have an experience, and then when you introduce a partner, it's like you're engaging in that same level of exploration. You're doing more of that, and then you apply those lessons to other aspects of life. So when you're dealing with the community, it's like you've already worked on developing the skills and you can uh apply them in other contexts because of what you've learned through exploring uh your own sexual pleasure, your own the the boundaries of of what feels good and what's what you don't want and what's you know what's right for you. It's amazing.

Religion Nudity And The Roots Of Shame

SPEAKER_06 34:22

I think it's amazing too. I'm connecting some real dots here. You know, I've been aware of the sexual energy is energy for anything, but I never really delved into it very far to to figure that out. But I I have an experience that now I'm connecting the dots. Before I met Dwight, before we got together, I was single and alone for 15 years. And I've shared this with some of my friends, and most of the time they look at me like I have three heads when I say this. But I said, you know, I had stopped dating because I was wanting to focus on creating a relationship with myself. If I can't have a good relationship with myself, I'm probably not going to have a good relationship with another. And so I was really, really working on that. And I had gotten to a point in my life where meaningless sex just didn't appeal to me anymore. And so I had stopped participating in that. So I went for a number of years with z zero sexual partner, except for I realized that I could be my own sexual partner. Now, you know, okay, most people go, of course, we all masturbate. No, that's not what I'm talking about. Now, I'm not saying that there's not an actual physical orgasm that happens in it, but I literally would have these long drawn-out romantic sessions where I would make love to myself. I would touch my face and run run my fingers through my hair in a manner that I would want a loving partner to do. I would say the things that I would want to hear from a loving partner. I would whisper in my own ear all those sweet little nothings that we we call them. And I, and I went, I did this for a number of years, where I literally made passionate love to myself. And of course, I've never had anybody that listened to what I'm saying and went, wow, cool, I'm gonna try that. They all look at me like you're weird. You know, you've lost your mind. What I don't know, that's weird. Okay. If it's weird for you, that's fine. It worked for me in a beautiful way. It kept me sane, but I also can see where it prepared me for when he did show up in a way that I would not have been otherwise prepared.

SPEAKER_05 36:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 36:57

And and I and I'm I'm listening to you talk and thinking about how, yes, I can I can now see where you could create that space and and be in that sensual with self-place and build that energy and then start to to bring in your visualization of the things you want to attract to yourself and use that sexual energy. That's profound. And I knew that. I I didn't I didn't know it, but I knew it enough to know that I wanted to have this conversation with you because I think that our community is ripe for this.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Yes, yes. So Dwight, have you heard that story before?

SPEAKER_04 37:39

I I have. I I've I have, and I've I've been the the beneficiary of those practices.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Oh great. Yes, yes. See, I mean, see, when I talk about it, people, you know, it is it is a bit crazy, so I'm in good company.

SPEAKER_00 37:57

Um, and when you know, when I'm working with people and I tell them this is what they this is their homework, their homework is that they need to go home and create a nest and make love to themselves. I mean, if we, you know, essentially if we don't know how to make love to ourselves, then, you know, either how do we make love to someone else? How do we know that it's how do we know that it's actually okay? But it's that's a that's a we also then put a lot of pressure onto other people that they have to get it right. If our body is not attuned and and know stuff and we don't want to have fun, that's a lot of pressure to put on someone else. And also I think it raises our bar. Like if we can have this sort of level of communion with ourselves, then you know, someone else external has to kind of bring, you know, has to bring that.

SPEAKER_06 38:43

They gotta bring the goods.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

Yeah. If I can do this on my own, what do you bring in? Like, well, it's and I and I I think we've lost some of that. And we kind of then go, oh, it's okay if it's okay if if sex is okay. If it's I mean, for for me, I don't have that. Like sex is, you know, you learn, you grow, you don't stay in awful sex.

SPEAKER_06 39:07

The the ability to love yourself so you can love others, the ability to make love to yourself so you can make love to others should be fundamental. It is fundamental, but we don't teach that, we don't preach that, and we don't see that. Most people, I feel so blessed in this lifetime that I came to the place where I could see that. It came full circle. It had, I was looking for it out here, and it had to come from in here. I and as long as I looked for it out here, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as I looked for safety out here, you know, as long as I looked for power out here, as long as I look for love out here, it didn't matter what it was, it was going to elude me. But the minute I found those things in here, then it showed up out here everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 39:57

The congruence between the inside and the outside.

SPEAKER_06 40:00

Yes. Yeah, yes, it's such a powerful conversation.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

What do you think? What do you think enabled you to know that like so many years ago? Like how how do you think you knew that then? That I needed to go inwards rather than outwards and not and just more partying, more that I and more of that, because that's often I think the way the other way we go is we kind of go, well, I'll just do more of it until you know.

SPEAKER_06 40:28

Well, I certainly, you know, I I did that in my early years, the the stuff that didn't work. I I I was I had a pretty traumatic childhood. I was I was bullied really, really bad. And and then I stumbled when I was about 29 years old. I just literally stumbled into a personal growth workshop and didn't even know anything like that existed, didn't know what it was, found myself in a room with a bunch of strangers, and it opened me up in a manner that the trajectory of my life permanently changed right there. It went from going this direction to completely going this direction. And I have I was 29, so we're talking, well, uh 50 years ago. Because I'm 79 now. And I no, I'm sorry, I'm 69. That was so that was 40 years ago. I'm making myself older than I need to. No wonder she went, oh wow, when I said I'm 79. You thought I was almost 80. No, I'm almost, I'm almost 70.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

But you just I I I thought thought you just wanted a nice to, you know, a nice big 69. You wanted to make sure that was the the number there.

SPEAKER_06 41:47

Oh I I just went on this trek throughout my life of exploring, you know, in here. I I wanted to know me, I wanted to be the best me that I could be, and I was willing to do whatever it took. And I've hit it hard. I in fact, I had I know few people that have gone as far as I've gone into that that spiritual quest. Um, and so it came to me in a lot of different small ways and sometimes bigger ways. And and then I I think that I just a lot of it I channeled, you know. I just got to the point where I felt like I had this connection to divine spirit where there was just these regular downloads. I I I call them intuitive hits, but it's literally like some higher being just whispering in my ear, and I've learned to trust it, and I go with it. I just go with it. I don't ask questions, I just go with it.

SPEAKER_00 42:54

Wow. Is that before you whispered in your own ear or after? I'm curious, did the trust come? You trusted you, you knew you, and then you could trust something bigger, or was it all or or are they intertwined?

SPEAKER_06 43:11

I think they were intertwined because in the very beginning it was like, where's that voice coming from? Who is that, you know? Um, because they were other voices, you know, and some of them weren't so friendly. And and over time I learned to, you know, kind of realize that there's a whole family that lives inside of me, you know. Um, but that intuitive voice is always soft and subtle and just gives direction. Do this. Don't do that. And it's and it's there's no judgment, there's no pressure, no pushing, it's just a hint. Whereas then there's that inner critic voice that's always like finding something wrong or trying to, you know, and it's like, that was stupid. Why'd you do that? type conversation going on in our heads. And I I begin to be able to distinguish the different voices. And uh that higher intuitive voice can come through anywhere, walking on the trail in the morning, in the shower, in my meditation. Um, it can come while I'm painting or it just can come driving. It doesn't matter. There's no, I don't have to prepare for it. All I have to do is just be open and I I'm open all the time. So it just comes when it comes.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

Nice.

SPEAKER_06 44:29

Sometimes the intuition is about someone else. Like I might be having dinner with Dwight and the intuition says something to me about him. And I will say, I just got an intuitive hit that concerns you. Are you interested? I don't ever just blurt it out without saying permission. I have.

SPEAKER_00 44:48

That's very nice.

SPEAKER_06 44:49

And you know, nobody's ever said no, I don't want to know. And and I tell them, and it usually is something that their eyes get big. You know, the minute I tell them, like it it somehow oddly resonates with them. They're like, oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

How do you how do you know that? Yeah. And and both thoughts.

SPEAKER_06 45:11

I think in the beginning it was kind of a mishmash of trust, not trust. But as I begin to see how it led me down the right road most of the time, very, very, very rarely have I listened to the intuition and then something went wrong. But I've also learned that something sometimes has to go wrong before it can go right. So even if I listen to it and it explodes in my face, I go, you know, we're not done yet, you know? And so I just keep going till I get to the part where, oh my God, that was rough, but I'm so glad I pulled the trigger on that.

SPEAKER_04 45:55

How how is it that you came by being so brave and being the educator that you are?

SPEAKER_03 46:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Um, I wanted to to have a change.

SPEAKER_00 46:13

I wanted to I wanted to live a different life, and so therefore it meant doing things differently. And I had I think I had some good people in my corner. I didn't always it wasn't always amazing, but I knew that if it was if I had these thoughts and if I had these programming and if I was caught, then other people had the same, but they just didn't want to talk about it. And for whatever I don't I for whatever reason I'm actually okay talking about sexuality and orgasms and pleasure and I I I feel like that's a really okay place for me, and it's an okay place that I haven't had to be like everyone else. I don't look like everyone else. I don't so that gives me some permission, I think, to um we don't have to, you know, be a supermodel to have pleasure. It's okay, yes, you can, but we don't have to go with the stereotype of that. We don't have to go with with the stereotype of that. So I in some aspects that's given me a bit of permission to be able to say there is something different, and there is something, there is something more alive in us than what we would think. And if we tap into it, and often, you know, because what I heard a lot in Maddox talking there was that slowing down. If we slow down, you know, we put our hand on our belly and our hand on our heart and take a breath, then we can work out what what is happening here when we let our mind go, it it can do all sorts of crazy things. But when we come back to the body and take a breath, I mean that's something really simple that we can do and and keep things slow. Um, yeah, I'm not sure. I yeah, I I just I I want to say I had this inner urge, but I don't know that that's or a you know a drive in me to make things better and to continue, even though I mean, like nowadays, like nowadays the stuff I talk about is actually quite okay. But I've been talking about this stuff for you know 25 years. I mean, when people didn't know things were for things were frequency and didn't know that things were inside them and didn't know we we've come, we've come a I've noticed we've come a long way in a short time that we now have names.

SPEAKER_06 48:54

You you've probably had your share of people looking at you like you have three heads. Oh yeah, we get you.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

Would you say that's okay?

SPEAKER_06 49:05

Yeah, it is okay. I I agree with you completely. Would you say, Mayola, that somewhere in there a goal has been to kind of normalize the whole conversation about sex?

Sex Magic Intention And Manifestation

SPEAKER_00 49:15

Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, let's have the conversation, let's talk about things. Let's because otherwise we end up with people who don't know pleasure, don't know their anatomy, don't know. I mean, even the words. Like, you know, lots of people don't say vulva or don't know what it is. They call their, you know, lots of people with vulvas call the whole area of vagina. It's a bit like saying your mouth is your face. Like it's it's there are lots of things that um there are lots of things. Well, then how do you go to the doctor? Like, you know, when we don't talk about things with names, we then open ourselves to to people getting, you know, sexually abused, to people getting, I'm not saying that's the only reason, but it's certainly when we're not comfortable with it and we don't talk about things in the right frame, how do we go to the doctor? How do we, how do we, you know, when we call them little funny names that have a million stories of people calling their genitals funny names and then discovering that you know someone was doing something untoward to someone else and using, and because there wasn't the right names, they didn't that the the parents in the in the school, whoever didn't didn't click on quick enough to know something was not right. So the more I guess from my sense, because this so yeah, okay, I'm unpacking this, thank you. Um, from my sense, having had you know sexual abuse as a child, I don't want that. I want this to be a normal conversation that we have, so then other people don't get abused. Did I get that? Thank you.

unknown 50:49

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

I'm not sure I've ever kind of unpacked that quite so well.

SPEAKER_06 50:54

You know, if we normalized it, then we could prepare our children for abusers before they came. They would know what to look for, they would know how to avoid, then they'd know who to go to. But because we keep sex such a big secret, we leave our children at a complete disadvantage in so many ways. When it comes to abuse, but also when it comes to navigating that at that young age and trying to figure out how that all works. And you know, I such a disservice.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

It is such a disservice. I think that's my drive. My drive is that let's have pleasure and let's you know have it have that normalized and parents, you know. I mean, like we don't probably want to see them fornicating everywhere, but but we like touching and communicating and like let's have role models that are that people see good communication and good touching and you know that connection because we often don't have that.

SPEAKER_05 52:01

We don't. I agree completely.

SPEAKER_04 52:03

Yeah, there there have been there have been a lot of instances where we've seen that ignorance is the darkness that allows really bad things to happen. Years ago, there was a a BBC4 documentary called Texas Teen Virgins that talked about this community that was on the forefront of abstinence-only sex ed. And they they showed many aspects of what life was like in that community, but one of the most shocking was how in the in the neighboring community their um their planned parenthood services were just overtaxed because they were flooded with these kids that got themselves into trouble because they they weren't prepared. They were ignorant, and they found themselves in precarious situations where they had an unbelievable, an unbelievably high rate of uh unexpected pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.

SPEAKER_06 53:15

You know, telling a hormonal teenager abstain is kind of like wow.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

But it's not useful, is it? Like it's not useful. Because then when you can't abstain, then you're back to having guilt and shame, and I must do bad, and if I was, and again, it doesn't give us really good, uh, appropriate ways of dealing with it. Like, what are the some of the ways of of of going and making love to ourselves and going to and if you're having a new partner, then there's a whole body to explore, and how about we explore pleasure everywhere, not just in this little part? And how about we send it all around our body? And how about we use this creation energy is how we got here? How about we do a ritual to create community, create you know, peace on earth, how to um, you know, how to have that together. Like if we were, if that was part of our I mean, think I maybe should edit that slightly, but I don't mean when I certainly know it as I don't know how the Epstein files are out currently, but they're very out. That's not what I'm talking about, but what I'm talking about is ways of you know educating people on how what is our sexual energy, where do we use it? Because I think the other place that gets us into trouble is that we feel it, and then we think, well, we need to action it. I I felt something, I I met somebody, I felt something instantly, and so therefore, I need to, whatever your narrative is, I need to go and have sex with them, I need to marry them, have babies, have whatever that the actually you just felt something, and how great it is that we are in a body that you can feel something, and asking the questions in our own body, like what did I feel, and what what was my body wanting, and what was my body liking, and what made that feel good? What do I what's my sense of that interaction? Yes, I may still do all those things with those people, but instead of making it about them, we come back home and go, okay, this maybe I could explore this a bit more, but from this from a secure, calm place rather than I felt something and I need to I need to go and I need to hurry and I need to urgency and yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:41

What if I don't ever feel this again? Type the urgency.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Yes, yes, yes, yes, what happens instead of I felt it, so therefore I can have it again.

SPEAKER_05 55:53

Like I like I know what to look for now.

SPEAKER_02 55:55

I can yeah, do the new yes.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

So there's lots of education that we can have around our sexual energy, which then um stops you know being able, being taken advantage of and also gives allows us to know what's going on in our own body. What is this? What is this hormones and puberty and and you know the other end, because we do get to a stage. I feel like we get to a stage where the body says, I don't really want uh casual sex anymore. I don't really want sex that doesn't really mean a lot. I want you to bring me lots of um well, lots of connection. I want to feel it in my body. I want to, and I I don't think that matters, you know, what gender you are or what whatever they sort of hormones. I feel that our our bodies want a deeper connection, our soul wants a deeper connection. So therefore it then it plays up with a whole bunch of different things. It creates a whole some symptoms, you know. And then we look at the symptoms rather than actually my body just wants more.

SPEAKER_06 57:01

Yeah, boy, that's a good call. Milo, we we talked a lot about becoming on this podcast. So you started a conversation 25 years ago in a time when most people didn't want to talk about this topic. And that 25 years, you've gone from where you started there to where you are now. Who did you have to become to get from there to here? Those things that had to change inside of you. Who did you have to become?

SPEAKER_00 57:38

Well, I had to become someone who was okay with being looked at like I had three hands, someone who people didn't understand the concept, but I was planting a seed. I had to become someone who was okay being on their own in with my own thoughts or my own way of of being or having a different opinion to to the rest of the community. And I had to be okay to be able to stand in that. Um yeah, that is that is changing. That is now changing, and I can see that in the last little while I'm you know coming out of a Chrysalis of in much more that people understand what is changing. So that being so alone and having to be okay on my own has in the last little while has changed. And so my current adaptation is how do I let other how do we do this together on a on a collaborative way rather than on my own? I've had to yeah, I've had to become resilient. That's who I needed to become, and now that's changing. I can see that that is really changing into I'm now coming someone who's going with people. We are going together now, it's not on my own.

SPEAKER_06 59:00

So do you have a sense of in order to go with others, be in community, do you have a sense of who even just an inkling of who you'll need to become now?

SPEAKER_00 59:15

Well, I yeah, I'm in the in needing to become someone who can ask for support, who can receive support. Um and share share the site, share the message and have it land, like have it like these people now, like these people is landing and people want more. There's there's this whole new um let's create this place. You've been talking about this place for a long time. Let's let's let's now have let's let's that now have that. And so support, I think, is one of the big things, and vulnerable, being very, very vulnerable, vulnerable and support.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:01

Okay, there's something that really sparked me, and was you just said I need to become somebody that asked for support. And then you clarified I need to be somebody that accepts support, and that's so big. I'm so glad that you call that out. And then there was something that yeah, I lost my train of thought. It was something that I heard that you didn't say. It might come back to me in a minute or two. Lord, I hate it.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:30

Those can be a lot harder to hear.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:32

They can be a lot harder to hear, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

It is a agents.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:39

It it has it's it's something to do. No, it's gone. I'm fishing.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:46

It's all right.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:47

It's okay.

Making Love To Yourself On Purpose

SPEAKER_04 1:00:48

No, this uh this has been a fascinating conversation and quite an exploration. I I will say that I'm reminded of a sex ed curriculum, an age-appropriate sex ed curriculum that I got to see in the um Unitarian Universalist Church. They call it our whole lives. And what what you do, what you provide uh is kind of a a capstone because it's presenting it it well, it it lives up to the name. I mean, you have a way of being able to give people a lens through which they can appreciate that uh there are many aspects to their their body, their being, and uh it's um uh they need to break free of whatever uh junk stories they've been told about how it's bad or shameful, and just embrace the gift that they have within themselves and be willing to uh explore what's out there.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:10

I got it back, I got it back. Share. This is what I didn't hear. What I did hear that you didn't say. Tell me if this is accurate. You need to become the person who uh tracks the people that are ready to have that conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:33

Yes, yes, yes, and that is becoming more instead of being the spokesperson up there, uh, I want to say freaking people out, but not quite. It's now yeah, being that yeah, magnet that the people come in and people want to talk and and people are ready. I I feel people are ready for change. People are ready and um and listening, like they've got ears to listen now. Before they may have heard and it may have gone in and shook them a little bit, and they went, Yeah, yeah, don't want to know about that. I don't want to know that sex is fun. Let's not talk about that. Uh when now they're going in a world that is chaotic and a world is thing, and my I can I'm now ready to hear something different. I'm ready to listen to what is open then. Yeah, yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:27

The the topic is polarizing. It's either going to draw people to you or send them away, and there's not going to be a lot of difference, you know, not a lot of in-between. And, you know, I'm gonna put words in your mouth, but I think you particularly need to become the person that does not put any energy on the people that it repels and put all of your energy and be grateful for the people that it repels because when it when they move away, now it makes space for the people who that are ready for this conversation to come into your life.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:59

Yes, yes, and a big advocate for self-selection. Decide that you want to stay, you want to go. I I'm a little interested. If you want to go, go. Oh yeah. If you want to stay, amazing, we're going forward.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:13

Polarizers make people either run and scream or want to come and sit right next to you. One of the two. Yeah, this is a beautiful conversation. Oh my gosh. We could talk for hours. No fooling.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:26

Good, good. I have to get myself over to Texas, huh?

Becoming Resilient Learning To Receive Support

SPEAKER_06 1:04:32

Yeah. Yeah, we'd love that. Yeah, we would love that. We could we could orchestrate something, and we pulled together. I I led a women's group for about five years. And when Dwight and I got together, he participated. And at one point, we had never ever talked about sex. We brought up the topic of sex, and their eyes all got really, really big. And one of them freaked her out. She left the group. She came back later. She had to go away and process. She came back later, and then she was ready, but it kind of freaked her out at first. But we had some really open conversations about sex, and it was so healing. And we normalized that topic, and it was it was good for all of us. I support you in what you are doing, Mayola. This is an amazing thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:16

Thank you. Thank you very much. And you obviously created a space that she could come back to. So that's important because often when people leave a space, there's, you know, obviously sometimes there can be, you know, some guilt or shame or any of those things. You obviously created a clean space that she could, when she was ready and she had processed her things, she could come back. That's that's that's a good space to hold.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:43

Yeah, I reached out and told her I I get you're a little freaked out by that. That's okay. We're here when when you're ready to come back, we'll have open arms.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

So wow, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:56

Thank you for all that you brought to us and to our community today. We really appreciate this. Amazing. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:05

It's been delightful, delicious conversation. Thank you very much for having me.