Maintaining Perspective on Your Wedding Day

In this episode of The Well Designed Wedding, we’re talking about something that affects nearly every couple I’ve ever worked with: the desire for perfection. No matter how meticulously you plan, unexpected moments will always arise, whether it’s a sudden rain shower or a last-minute venue change due to unforeseen conditions. I share real stories from my own planning experiences with moments that remind us that while perfection may be impossible, beauty, connection, and joy are always within reach.

I walk you through how to shift your mindset from control to being in the present so you can fully experience your celebration, no matter what unfolds. When couples decide in advance to embrace their day with gratitude and flexibility, the energy of the entire event shifts, often for the better. Sometimes the most unforgettable moments happen when things don’t go according to plan! 

If this episode was encouraging, don’t forget to subscribe and share it with a friend!

FARO Wellness: Enjoy 10% off bridal wellness treatments like lymphatic massages and facials with the code Beth10. Visit FARO Wellness to book your appointment and get ready to glow on your wedding day!

Sign up for my newsletter!

Website: https://www.bethhelmstetter.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bethhelmstetter
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewelldesignedweddingpodcast
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bethhelmstetterevents
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bethhelmstetterevents
LinkedIn: Beth Helmstetter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@bethhelmstetter
Pinterest: https://ca.pinterest.com/bethhelmstetter

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Hello everyone, welcome to the Well Designed Wedding, where we talk all about designing meaningful celebrations that are reflective of your style and are memorable for all involved. I'm Beth, a wedding designer who's passionate about crafting weddings that feel personal, intentional, and most importantly, a reflection of you. And each episode will explore the art of wedding planning with tips and insights to help you design a day that's as meaningful as it is memorable. From choosing the perfect venue to finding the right photographer, curating thoughtful guest experiences, and embracing the beauty of imperfection, the well-designed wedding is here to guide you every step of the way. Before we dive in, I want to remind you to sign up for my newsletter. In it I share all kinds of helpful planning resources, entertaining tips, inspiration, and so much more. Sign up on my website at Bethhelmsutter.com or go to the show notes and click on the link. Today I want to talk about something that affects almost every single couple I've ever worked with. If you're currently planning your wedding, I guarantee this is affecting you too. Even if you're the most calm, the most grounded, the most balanced couple out there. And that is how do you let go of perfection when it comes to planning your wedding? Weddings have a way of reminding of us of life's just overall bigger truths. No matter how carefully we plan, no matter how many details are perfectly in place, something will always, always arise that we didn't expect. And honestly, that's like one of the great things about having a wedding planner to handle some of that. But that's actually not what today is all about. Sometimes these things that you don't expect are very small. Maybe a flower comes in the wrong shade of peach when you wanted something closer to coral. Maybe there's a tiny blip of rain in the day. It doesn't make you move your ceremony or cocktail hour or anything like that, but it stresses you out because you see the rain clouds rolling in early in the day. But sometimes it's a lot bigger. Maybe you have to relocate your entire wedding because you're having a natural disaster and so on and so forth. Years ago, I actually had a couple that this exact thing happened to. They were planning the most beautiful wedding in Big Sur. And at the time, it was actually going to be the pinnacle of my portfolio. We spent months and months preparing. We, you know, brought together the best support. We had the greatest of vendors, not only in the community, but all throughout Northern California. And then what happened is wildfires broke out all across Northern California, including Big Sur. The entire town had to be evacuated just five days before the wedding. And we had to completely not only change locations, but change regions, right? And so in this moment, we had to decide are we still having the wedding this weekend? Or are we just gonna find a different place to have it? And they chose to find a different location. And it would have been really, really easy for the bride to crumble under this disappointment. Anyone would. She could focus on everything she was losing, the setting she'd dreamed of, all of the details she'd worked so hard to kind of finalize, all the elements we collaborated on. But instead, she just showed extraordinary perspective. And I think this is the key, the absolute key to having a successful wedding. She reminded everyone around her, myself included, that the point of all of it, it wasn't that the wedding was happening in Big Sur, even the flowers, the cake, or the music. The point was marrying her person. And because of that perspective, the day was beautiful, no matter where we took place. And what happened was actually when she just decided to let go and was just like, it's gonna be what it is. One of her amazing friends who happened to be incredibly high profile had this insane estate in Malibu. And all of a sudden he's like, Come to my house, have all your guests at my house. We moved everything to Malibu in the matter of five days, including rerouting flights, rerouting vendors, so on and so forth. And the wedding, in my opinion, was even more beautiful than it would have been in Big Sur because this space was so special. And that's kind of the reward, right? Of her just deciding to kind of let go, if you will. But I think the key is just deciding you're going to enjoy it no matter what. It's not about all of these other elements. Fast forward, actually, to even earlier this year, and I was producing this amazing beach party and an unexpected kind of rainstorm rolled in. And it wasn't, if you've ever been in the Caribbean, the rain doesn't last all day, right? But when it comes in, it can come in very hard. And it might be 20 minutes, it might be an hour, but then it kind of goes away. But this is another moment where transparently all the guests could have like crowded under the covers and you know, shivered near to the bar that was under shelter, quite literally, and just kind of it could have ruined their vibe. But instead of shutting things down, the couple and the guests just kind of kicked off their shoes, danced harder, ran out in the rain. One at one point, even one of the guests ripped off his shirt, ran into the crowd in the middle of the rain. And what could have been a disaster became one of the most memorable talked-about moments of the weekend, right? So, and actually it was so good that the couple decided to actually extend the celebration, right? It started raining. Let's say it was supposed to end, I believe, at about 2 p.m. It started raining around 1:30. Again, they could have crowded under the bar, they could have called it quits, let's wrap it early. Instead, they danced in the rain and you know, they let me know we want to go another hour. So that is what it's all about. And this is two very different events, obviously, two very different challenging challenges, but the same truth that the celebration isn't about it being perfect. It's about being with your partner, it's about being with your loved ones, it's about enjoying every moment and just being present for what's happening. We spend so much of our lives when it comes to controlling outcomes, especially when you're planning a wedding. But the truth is some of the most unforgettable moments are the ones that happen when things don't go according to plan. The rainstorm that turns into a dance party, the wedding that moves at the last minute to a much more beautiful location, but still and still feels perfect because the couple is really grounded in what the whole purpose of is the whole purpose of the wedding is in the very first place. So my encouragement to every couple, and really this is to anyone celebrating anything meaningful, it's this focus less on making things flawless and more on making them yours. Be present in the hugs, the laughters, the tears, the joy. Don't waste more than two minutes being upset if something goes differently than you imagine. Because before you know it, the day will be over and you don't want to have missed it, right? This is still your one and only wedding day. And that the same truth goes if you your wedding gets rained out and now you're in a ballroom instead of on a beach. The same truth uh rings true if one of your flowers comes in the wrong shade. You don't want to miss it being disappointed, right? So what I recommend my couples do is when they arrive for the wedding weekend, decide you're gonna be happy no matter what. And again, if you have the right planning company on your team, they're handling most of these disasters to the point where you don't even know it. But let's say something happens that it's unavoidable, you know it's wrong, it's not what you wanted. Don't waste this massive, massive moment in your life being upset about it for more than just a blip. You want to process it, you want to be like, huh, that's not what I expected. And then you want to move right along because you still need to enjoy this weekend. You still want to remember your wedding day as something really special, and you don't want to remember your wedding day being disappointed because the cake was too dry or the food came out a little slower than you hoped, or whatever the case may be. So whether it's in the mountains, the rain, it's in your own backyard, the day is truly gonna be perfect if and when you decide it'll be. Because true celebration really isn't about control. It's about connection, gratitude, and the ability to dance sometimes literally in the rain. Before we finish, I want to share a little something that can help you feel and look your absolute best as you prepare for the big day. Faro Wellness has an amazing bridal program featuring lymphatic massages and facials designed for body sculpting and drainage. These treatments not only help you relax, but also leave you glowing and ready for your wedding day. And here's the best part. Faro Wellness is offering 10% off for all listeners using my code BEF10. Trust me, it's the ultimate pre-wedding self-care. Visit Faro Wellness today to book your appointment, and the link is in the show notes below. That's it for today's episode of the Well Designed Wedding Podcast. As always, I hope you're leaving with a clearer vision and next steps for your wedding planning journey. Remember, it's all about creating a celebration that feels true to you and your partner and embracing the perfectly imperfect moments along the way. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, or even share it with anyone else who's diving into the wedding planning journey. And don't forget to sign up for my newsletter where I share planning and design inspiration, everyday entertaining tips, and so much more. You can find the link in the show notes below. Lastly, please tune in next time as we dive even deeper into designing a wedding that's as meaningful as it is beautiful. Until then, happy planning.