Episode 60: Jump Rope For Me Baby Doll

This week on Current Chatter, Kota and Mama are back with another chaotic mix of weird news, questionable life choices, and completely unhinged conversations. From terrifying robot wolves in Japan and underwater chess matches, to a Florida man in a thong telling police officers to “jump rope for me baby doll,” this episode goes off the rails fast.

The duo also dives into bad neighbors, bizarre sports combinations, extinct animals that would make terrible pets, and the wild story of a man trying to tear down his own house with an excavator after his wife asked for a divorce. Along the way, they swap stories, answer listener questions, and somehow end up discussing bear safety, memes, petty revenge, and why getting back with an ex might be like “putting poop back in your butt.”

It’s weird. It’s hilarious. It’s definitely Current Chatter.

As always stay hydrated, take care of your mental health, and brace yourself for the unexpected.

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Transcript

0:01

Hello everyone, and welcome to Current Chatter, Two Generations, One Noisy World, the podcast where we talk about the stories that make you laugh, question reality, and wonder how the world somehow keeps getting weirder by the day. I'm Losa, and if this is your first time here, settle in because every week, me and my son Dakota will dive into the strange, the trending, the unbelievable, and the headlines that leave us all with a collectively asking us why. From bizarre news stories and internet chaos to current events, pop culture madness, and the topics everyone can't stop talking about. Nothing is off limits here. If it's shocking, ridiculous, fascinating, controversial, or just plain confusing, we're probably talking about it. This podcast is part of commentary, part chaos, and part group therapy for people trying to survive modern life one headline at a time. So whether you're driving, cleaning your house, hiding from your responsibility, or just looking for a break from the insanity of the world around you, I'm glad you're here. Get comfortable, grab a drink, and let's get into current chatter. What's going on guys? Welcome to another thrilling episode of Current Chatter. You know the place where there are two different generations, one noisy world. As always, I'm here with Mama. Mama, how are you today? I'm good today. It's a good day. I'm feeling good about how about you? I got a lot done today, a lot more than I wanted, and I got a nap in, so that was awesome. That's why I said can we push it back to 4 30? Because when I messaged you, I was still in in the It was nappy time. Yeah, I I woke up early this morning, did my front lawn, cut down a bunch of uh branches. But yeah, my lawn looks good. I gotta go hang up my uh Bigfoot out there. Um and then yesterday we did a bunch of spring clinging in. We only got the living room done before our vacuum took a shit. So now I've got I know I gotta take that apart and figure it out. I think it just overheated. And the filter was dirty, so I think I know. It's my life. If you didn't have bad luck, Cody, you wouldn't have any luck at all. Shit, I know, right? How is your spring cleaning? It's so funny that we decided to do that at the same time. It's uh it's it's like it's in the D DNA or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Your dad did clean circles around me. Like, you know how your dad gets when he's ready to clean. Mm-hmm. Cause I'm the same fucking way. Yeah. I kind of just followed your dad around and was like, what do you want me to do next? What do you want me to do next? But the house is super duper clean. And I don't know if you can see in the back, some of my shelves are gone. Nice. And I moved my office, my work office, into here. Oh, so you got another spare room? Yes. Well, now we have not another, but now we do have a spare room. Yes. I haven't finished cleaning it out yet. It'll be a couple more weeks before I can finish all that. But yeah. What's the plan for that spare room? Just keep it as a guest room? Yep. Nice. So I'm excited about it. Everything's doing good. And we we did a lot of cleaning and house looks good. Dad did yard work today while That's so funny that I did yard work today too. So I've got an update on your wolves. Are you ready? Which wolves? The uh robot wolves that they're sending out in, I think you said Tokyo to fight the bears. Uh-huh. So it's not Tokyo, excuse me, it's Japan. Japan runs out of robot wolves in fight against bears. They ran out of them? What happened to them? The handmade $4,000 monster wolves feature solar panel sensors and uh intimidating audio. Have you seen a picture of these wolves, Mom? I have not. Are they are they terrifying? They're not cute. Let me show you. I just want to know seriously what happened to them all. I I don't know. We're about to find out. Yeah. All right, let's see here. There it is. Those are horrible. They're freaky looking, huh? I thought for half a second, because then I have my glasses on, that if I was seeing it, like seeing it badly. And no, that is actually how oh, that's awful. It's freaky looking, right? Could you imagine getting chased by something like that? Like that would ruin your afternoon. I'm telling you, nightmare fuel. It looks like the the wolf's face, it looks like one of those awful um Halloween masks that you buy as like the spirit or something. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Japan's Japan's bear problem continues, and the country is running out of robot wolves that help keep them at bay. Uh, monster wolves was originally designed to warn off foes like bears, deer, and the island's uh National Asian black bear and brown bear populations. The creative solution quickly went viral for its red LED lights and menacing fangs, as well as its autonomously odd furry pipe frame. Starting at $4,000, each monster wolf is now equipped with battery-powered solar panels and detection centers. Its speakers are programmed with over 50 audio clips, including human voices and sirens, audible for over a mile and a half away. These aren't an assembly line products, however, each monster wolf is custom-made and Ota simply can't keep up with the current demand. We make them by hand, we cannot make them fast enough now. We are asking our clients to wait up to two to three months. I know. So it just sounds like they can't make them fast enough. And there's a huge demand for the case. I just thought, like, a bear's a big intimidating animal. Like to get a wolf that would be terrifying to a bear would need to be just as big and intimidating. But these are the size of, I would say, a medium dog. I would a large dog. A coyote. It looks like the size of a coyote, yeah. Yeah. Like, how is that supposed to scare off a beer beer? A deer. Gosh. A bear? A bear. Well, I mean, have you haven't you seen those videos of like house cats running up on bears and making them run away? Well, maybe that's what it is. They just get him, they startle them. Yeah. And I mean, like, if you have like a wolf-like creature coming at you and it's like making the siren noises, like that's gonna be fucking scary. Like, I would shit my pants if a robotic wolf came up and was like making siren noises. I wouldn't know what to do. Like would a bear? Fuck yeah, I hope so. That's what they say to make loud noises when if you encounter a bear. Well, it depends on the type of bear. I think you're supposed to do that with black bears. So what's the saying? Black, fight back, brown, lie down, white, good night. Yeah. I've never heard that, but I've never put my put myself in a place where bear bears were an issue. So one of my favorite memories with you is when we we had gone up to Strawberry and we were kind of driving around where dad and I would go elk hunting, and we were driving on this dirt road, and an elk ran past the front of um the Asuzu, dad's trooper, and you screamed bear, and it was not a bear, it was an elk. No, I think I screamed horse. No, you screamed bear. When I'm sad and I need a laugh, I think about that memory. Bear! It was so big. They're huge. It was definitely not a bear. That was like, I was so shocked. I didn't know what it was. It just streaked across. And then you and your dad proceeded to fill me in on the the error of my ways. It looked nothing like a bear. I mean, it was brown and fuzzy, I guess. So mom wants to do questions for her part of uh today's podcast. Uh so she came up with some questions and we're gonna go over it together. Cool. So the first question: what meme deserves its own holiday? Should we just go with the regular smiley face meme? That's not a meme, that's just a a a smiley face. Oh. A meme is like the the the funny pictures or whatever. Well, the very first one that I ever came across was that one where it was the little boys, and the little boy stuck his finger in the mouth of his brother, and then his brother bit him, and he was like, ouch, Charlie. That's a video. That's not a meme. Should we look up the definition of a meme for meme for you, Mama? Is a cultural idea, behavior, or style that spreads rapidly from person to person within a culture heavily relying on imagination. Your it's your imagination. Imagination. Um, I think my the the first meme that comes into my head is is the little girl that's uh standing in front of her house fire and is kind of making like this face. Oh yes. Yeah. Or um dick butt. That one's funny. You said that like I should know what it is. Would you like to inform your uninformed mother what that is? It's a dick, and the balls are his butt, and he has another little dick in his butt. Well, that would be why it was called that. I don't know. I I can't think of a meme that needs its own holiday. That's a tough one, huh? Yeah. All right. Next question. If humans had a built-in GPS organ, where would it be? So, like if we were able to have our own GPS in our body, like a pigeon, for example, pigeons are said that they carry their their uh gene, their homer gene in their liver. So if you had to choose what organ, I would say my heart. Because my heart always leads me home. Okay. Fuck, I don't know. You have to answer this one. You didn't answer the last one. But I did answer it. You didn't. You didn't even know what it was. Was that me? Did I do that? I don't know, in my gut somewhere. Oh, that's probably smart. Yeah. I was gonna say in my butt, because then nobody's gonna want to take it, but that's not true. No. I was just thinking about the little girl that there's this parent asking her her daughter, what do you do if someone tries to kidnap you? And she goes, Tell them I have a GPS in my ass. Well, there you go. That's where your GPS is, then, Dakota. My ass. It's in my book. All right. So I have an update about the chase. Ooh, let's hear it. So last week I was like, yeah, she probably did it. Then I I read some more stuff on it. I kind of went down a rabbit hole of it. And there has been like four movies about it. Really? Yes. The stuff that they left out of this one was obviously to make her look good because she's guilty. Yeah. Did you watch the other movies or did you just read about it? No, I just read about them. You want to illuminate me on what you read about? One of them was, I think it was called like mean girls or something. And it was just about her, how she interacted with people, and that she was actually she was a mean girl. There was another one where it was, it was one of those TV shows that every week they do a different set they do a different true crime. And so it was just like an episode two or something of something, but that painted her in a very bad light as well. I would say out of all of the um the shows that the crash, the one on Netflix that we watched, was the most sympathetic to her. Weird. Interesting. Right? Why do you think they went that way? Uh it probably just literary choice, like whoever wrote the script or did the documentary information from it, you know what I mean? I also saw a picture, and I don't know if it's true or not, but it was her rap sheet while she's been in jail and she's having a hard time following orders, which doesn't surprise me at all. No. Yeah. No, because her parents are still treating her like her poor father's gotten the he got laid off from his job. Really? He was a teacher at a Catholic school. I don't know if any of this is true. It's all internet babble. But the last thing I read on him was that he'd been suspended as a teacher because of you have to sign to work at a Catholic school or a religious school typically. You have to sign a code of conduct conduct according to internet. He violated that by doing this documentary. I don't remember him being in oh, he was in the documentary, huh? It was him and the mama. The mama was the one that was outrageous. Yeah. Okay. So we've all had a bad neighbor, right? Whether it's been in an apartment or living at a house, you're always gonna have an experience with a bad neighbor. Neighbor. Well, I think this guy takes the cake. Worse than our neighbor? It's up to interpretation. Let's let's go back to that question after I've read read this article, yeah? All right. Okay, so lipstick, thong wearing Hollywood senior says he he has the right to flash exasperated neighbors. So the neighbors are sick and tired of it. That's what that means. Yeah. Uh oh, this is Florida. Is there a there's a Hollywood in Florida? Yes. Okay, well, I guess that that that tracks. Okay, Hollywood, Florida. A Hollywood senior was arrested on five charges on Wednesday after police said he consistently exposed himself to multiple neighbors at his apartment complex. Why? People said neighbors of Tyrone James, who is 79, became increasingly concerned and frustrated with his continued behavior, which included a call to authorities the day before about the same problem. Investigators said Tyrone, who court records shows lives in the 2400 block of Van Bern Street, regularly walked around the common areas of the apartment complex and made lewd gestures like thrusting his penis at women's doorbell cameras. Hollywood police Hollywood police department officer wrote that she went to his house to speak with him and he answered wearing a G string thong. The police the police officer wrote that the back that the senior told her that he has a right to walk around naked under Florida statute eight eight hundred dot zero zero one and that it is only legal in parks, not in public. The officer wrote that she explained to him. Does that make it okay? No, that doesn't make it okay. I just want for that for our listeners, regardless of what that that does not make it okay. No. The officer wrote that she explained to him that it is in fact illegal to walk around in public exposing himself. Police said he explained that he walks around naked because he is allowed to, and that he did not know he was being filmed. Um, what did he think people were gonna do? Like just be like, there's a naked dude in B4. Just be aware. It gets so much worse. I've got the ick, I don't want to read this anymore. The officer wrote later that the Tyrone began to put on lipstick in front of her and while beginning to touch his penis and told her to jump rope for me, baby doll. Authorities said that to a police officer. This man, Tyrone has some other problems besides the walking around naked. The walking around naked is the least of his problems. Jump rope for me, baby doll. God, so nasty. Authorities said they found five neighbors who had seen Tyrone expose himself and leading to his arrest on five indecent exposure charges. Those charges were initially felonies based on a 1987 indecent exposure charge. Oh, so he's in 1987 he got an indecent exposure spar um charge. So now because he's got these second ones, they've turned into felonies. The court records indicate that a judge only found probable cause for standing misdemeanor charges. Isn't there like a like a statute for even if it especially if it's not a felony, I would think there would be some statute liber you know what I mean? Like, can't charge it. Well, I guess you can charge him for whatever you want. I mean, I when you go around Only in Dakota, here's all I gotta say. Only in Florida. Jump rope for me, baby doll. As he's putting on lipstick like fucking Buffalo Bill. Okay, what other questions you got, mom? What two sports should never be combined? This comes from a story actually online about chess being played underwater. How the fuck? So, what they do is they take a deep breath, they swim to the bottom of the pool, they make their move, and then they have to swim back up before the next person can then go take a breath. They have to make the move on the one breath. Isn't that wild? Yeah. Like here's chess. Let's here's some chess. Now we're gonna introduce um chess death. The what is it, the Russian roulette of chess? Yeah, yeah. Free diving chess. So I would think like two sports that should never be combined would be what's the sport where you go and you shoot and then you you're on skis and you s it I know what you're talking about, I have no idea. That one should never involve because guns and s uh the snow and skiing. So I would say that one seems like a really odd one. And can you really say chess is a sport? Chess gets fucking down. The chess world is wild. How about how about the skiing and let's say mahjong? Mahjong? What the hell is mahjong? It's it's a game from the Middle East. It's supposed to be a lot of fun, but I've never played it. It's you play it with tiles. Oh, or you like make the shapes correspond or whatever. The same shapes. Okay. So ski shooting and mahjong. I'm gonna go. I'm going to say UFC, so mixed martial arts, and that choreographed swimming. Oh. Uh, what is it called? Um synchronized swimming. Synchronized swimming, yes. That would be tough. That's a good one. I don't know how it would play out. What extinct animal Takoto would make the strangest pet? A saber-tooth tiger? You're right. I would we were asking uh okay, funny story. Time out, funny story. The other day at work, we were asking each other riddles, like what's a good riddle? And um the one girl was like, How do you uh fit an elephant in a refrigerator? And I was like, that's a tough one. And another girl was like, you kill it, then you grind it up, and then you stove it in the free in the freezer. And I we were we were she didn't say it like that, she just said it normal. But I I added, you know, you gotta add something for effect. But I was just I was just like, Good golly, that was that went south fairly quickly. That escalated real quickly. But yeah, like what's the elephant with the big long tusks? A woolly mammoth. A woolly mammoth. That would make it really bad. Where would you even keep it? Can you imagine cleaning up its shit? I know. Nope. See? Why it would make a horrible pet. Yeah. So for those of you who know and don't know our listeners, I am going through a divorce. And it's been so much fun. I'm I'm enjoying every fucking minute of it. I can't I can't wait to have this over. Um, but I have to keep a I know it's bad. I have to keep a sane mind and a calm mind, even though I wanna seek revenge. But it's it's not the right thing to do. Well, one man in Pennsylvania did not. Keep a level head. A Pennsylvania man tried tearing down home with excavator after wife said marriage was over. I saw that article and was like, that is too weird. I actually saw that and thought it's too weird. It it hits a little close for home for me, and I kind of want to like give this dude a high five because he's doing stuff that I can't do. A 48-year-old man is facing charges in Pennsylvania after he had allegedly tried to destroy his home with an excavator after his wife said their marriage was Did you see the pictures of what he did? I haven't. Police in Buffalo Township, Butler County, said they were called to a home on Monday after a woman reported that her husband was attempting to tear down their home uh with a piece of machinery. The woman stated to police that she told her husband, Eric, that she wanted a divorce after he returned home from a night of drinking. That is when he had allegedly used the excavator to tear down part of the home. A f officer said other family m family members were inside the home at the time of the incident. He charged. Oh, that's dangerous. Yeah, he's charged with reckless endangerment of another person uh creating a catastrophe. I didn't know that was a charge, but that makes sense. And disorderly contact creating a catastrophe? I would think that would be a good charge for tearing for attempting to tear your house down. Yeah. Like how fucking mad do you gotta be? The thing is, is it was the home that they shared. Mm-hmm. Like in your case, the person no longer lives there. So why would you want to tear down your house? Yeah. But it doesn't make me like not want to go put like sawdust in our gas tank or that like tongue in cheek. But we do what we call catalog requests at work. Yeah and people sign people up just out of spite and use horrible names. Horrible names. Do they stick out like a sore thumb? Of course they do. Because the name is like horrible. Like I'll be nice. One of them was like a beautiful disaster. Now, if that's your name, okay, call in, we'll have a discussion. But I don't know anybody named Beautiful Disaster. And that's a nice one. They get really, really people get really, really creative, and I'm like, Do you know how much time this is taking out of your life to go in and subscribe that person to things that they necessarily won't want just to irritate them? It's like the lemons. That's just fucking like I live. The lemon story was too much. I live for that kind of pettiness just because I want to be that petty to this particular person, but I just don't have I don't want any more charges. Uh yeah, we're already going to court. I don't I don't need anything else against me. You know what I mean? Like, not that I have anything against me. I don't I don't need to add more fuel to the fire, but I want to. Right. Because the only luck you have is bad luck. So yeah. I thought about sending her. There's this website where you can send people like exotic animal shit. I could have sent her like rhino shit or giraffe shit. Um, I thought about doing that too. So bad. So bad. I'm not going to do these two. So understandable. So bad. So I have a question here from our email. Again, you can email us at currentchatter21 at gmail.com. This one asks, what's one opinion you've had for years that you're pretty sure would get you roasted by your listeners if they found out? That I am such a conservative. Like me and you talking and just going over stuff, I don't think people realize how conservative I am. Um What's one opinion I've had for years that you're pretty sure would get you roasted? Um fuck, I don't know. Do we want to alienate our listeners by saying that? Sorry, not sorry. I'm on a roll today, aren't I? Yeah, you're on it. And I am not. I am not with it today. I should have drank a little bit more beer before the show. One opinion I've had, and I've had people tell me that it's n nearsighted, is dating an ex is like putting already pooped poop back in your butt. Because I just won't date an ex. Right. But I have friends that have dated their ex and now they're married and in a very happy relationship, you know what I mean? I think I don't know. I would err on the side of caution. Like you didn't it didn't work out for a reason. And unless you worked on those issues, then it's not gonna work out the second time. Yeah, for sure. I'm leaving on that one. People who get back together and like have a long, healthy relationship is because they worked on their issues. It's not because of that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's the only opinion I can think of right off the top of my head. Yeah, I think that's a good one. All right, boys and girls, we are all done for the day. What do you think, Coda? Was this our viral episode? Maybe. I know it's episode 60, 6-0. Woo! 6-0. Way to go. Mm-hmm. Guys, I think we're gonna end it here. As always, please like, share, subscribe, comment. If you have a question you would like mama and me to answer, you can send it, you can put it on the comments below, any episode, or you can write in an email at currentchatter21 at gmail.com. And as always, guys, please remember to drink your water and talk to your therapist. You need to talk to your therapist about this. Look at the shitter on that critter. That's a little odd to code.