The Hard Truth: The Hidden Cost of Keeping Too Much Stuff

Episode: The Hard Truth: The Hidden Cost of Keeping Too Much Stuff

What if the problem isn’t that you need more storage… but that you simply have too much stuff?

In this episode of The Quiet Reset, Kerry explores the uncomfortable truth that many of us avoid: our homes aren’t overflowing because we lack cupboards, baskets or storage solutions. They’re overflowing because we’re holding onto things that no longer serve us.

From unfinished projects and “just in case” purchases to clothes we never wear and hobbies we never started, every item in our home quietly asks for our attention. And over time, that creates more than physical clutter—it creates mental clutter too.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why more storage rarely solves the problem
 • The hidden mental cost of clutter
 • Why unfinished projects drain your energy
 • The psychology of holding onto things because they cost money
 • Why letting go isn’t wasteful—it’s freeing
 • How buying less, but buying better, can completely change your home

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your home, this episode might just change the way you think about the things you own.

✨ Connect with Kerry and The Secret Mum Club:

Website: www.thesecretmumclub.com

Instagram: @thesecretmumclub

Email: kerry@thesecretmumclub.com

The Quiet Reset is created by The Secret Mum Club.

You can find more gentle guidance and resources at www.thesecretmumclub.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, I'm Kerry Hart and I'm from the Secret Mum Club, a professional organising company built on understanding, judgment-free support, and real help. I'm that extra pair of hands you've always wished you had. And this podcast is here to help your life feel lighter, calmer, and more manageable. One honest conversation at a time.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Good morning and welcome back to the Quiet Reset. How amazing has this weather been? That's what we usually get. But I think this week everyone has been praying for a little bit of rain, haven't they? Or a little bit of cooldown. But I am absolutely embracing every single second of this summer. I have spent maybe 90% of my day outside, and I am loving it. I actually painted all of my fences yesterday and I've got a really bad back because I spent all day doing them, but they look amazing, and now I'm looking out the window, feeling super proud of myself. So I hope you are enjoying your summer so far, too. So today I want to have a conversation that might feel a little bit uncomfortable, but I promise you this comes from a place of kindness because it's something I see every week in my week of work as a professional organiser. And this is it, are you ready? You don't have a storage problem. You probably have too much stuff. Now, before you switch off and think, Well, that's a bit harsh, stay with me because this isn't about blame, it's about freedom, it's about one of the first things people say to me when I walk into their home is I just need more storage, a bigger wardrobe, more cupboards, if I had a bigger house. But almost every time I find myself thinking the same thing, you don't actually need more places to put your things, you simply have too many things, and that is the hard truth to hear because no one likes admitting it, but once you accept it, everything changes. If I look at the specific jobs that I have done in the past, um I've noticed people collect things that I don't, it wouldn't even be a second thought to me to collect. So, for example, um, jewellery boxes. So recently I just got a lovely new piece of jewellery for my birthday, um, a bit of a delayed birthday gift for my husband, um, because I was asking to save my birthday money till the summer because I live for the summer, and February birthdays are a bit rubbish to be buying gifts. So, anyway, he's just given me my birthday money, and I bought a beautiful necklace which I didn't know what I wanted, I thought I was gonna buy lots of summer clothes, but anyway, ended up buying a necklace and it came in a beautiful box. Now, I have been at people's houses before and they keep all of the jewellery boxes like every single one. Why do we do this? Like, chances are we're never gonna sell it, and if we sold it, they wouldn't need it in the box anyway. And do you ever put that one piece of jewellery back in the box? Now, if your answer is yes to that, do you have ten of the identical boxes that you have to keep reaching for in order to get to the necklace that you want, or do you have to go for every box, or do you not wear half of them and only wear the same one because you know where it is? So, this is the reason that I don't keep jewelry boxes. So it didn't matter that this piece of jewellery was expensive. I threw the box away because I no longer need it, and this is just an example of these things that can build up around your house that you don't need. You you've got it in your head that you think that you need it because you've spent a lot of money on that one piece that's inside it, but you end up keeping it, and I feel like that can be the same as with carrier bags as well, which seems like a funny one, doesn't it? But we either well, since we've had to pay for carrier bags, I feel like it's got worse, but a lot of people will buy the reusable bags like the tote bags or the canvas ones, but then they'll forget them, so they'll end up with the Tesco's bags and the Sainsbury's bags, etc. And then they are reluctant to get rid of them because it costs them money, so they hold on to them. They're like, But what do I do with it? Now I I don't throw away plastic bags, I tend to have my canvas ones in the car for like a big shop, big shop. Um, but if I do forget them and I do end up with a small pile, I take them to the charity shop because charity shops always need the plastic bags, so it's just a tip for you. So, why is it that we think that storage is the answer? I think it's when a cupboard is so full it won't close. I think we've all done that, right? Where we've pushed stuff in and thought it's it's fine, I just need a little bit more storage, it's got nothing to do with the amount of things that I have in that cupboard. Um, maybe when the garage is full, we need more shelving, or when the wardrobes are overflowing, we need fitted wardrobe. But what happens is those new cupboards will fill up too. The bigger garage, the bigger house, the loft, it will all fill up around you unless you start making conscious decisions every day. Because storage doesn't solve overconsumption, it just delays the decision. So you need to start making quicker decisions on the spot. I would always say a reset to reset your whole house where you want it to be, where you're walking in, it's calm, you've got a lot lot less things moving around your house all the time, which means less time tidying up, less energy spent on every single piece, like all of these objects, and start really concentrating on how you want to live your life. So once you've had a reset, you can then you can then make conscious decisions about the things coming into your house. Now, when you go to the shops, I know I've explained this before, that you need to really think about do I need it, do I love it? Am I just shopping because it makes me feel good? I am I am, and I would admit it, I'm a little bit of a shopperholic. Shopping makes me so happy. It's actually my favourite pastime, I think. But I am very good now. I don't just go out like I used to do and just buy things all the time. I don't. Since having children, I am really good. I buy just what we need, and if nothing has a purpose anymore, I will give it away, I will donate it. There is no need for it to take up my time and my energy. I wish my husband was the same. Unfortunately, he is not. He has this thing about buying multiples. So, for example, my son has got a walt on his foot, not walt, a veruca, and he was told by somebody, oh get this, get this veruca stuff, it's really good. So instead of buying one tube, he's bought two. And I said, But why have you bought two? Because I like to buy things in evens, right? Okay, but that one packet will well go beyond that Veruca, and then that's got to be and then that will go in the cupboard, and the other one will just expire. So it's not it why do we do this? Why do we find a product and then go, oh, it's so good, I'm gonna buy six of them? You know, who's not to say that there's gonna be a better product, and then you buy six of those, and then can you see how things are piling up in your house already? Just from those little decisions. So when you are clearing your house, you really need to think about do you need it, do you use it, why are you holding on to it, and is it soaking up your energy? Because I think you'll find that it is each one of those things that you no longer need is taking up your time and your energy to clean it, to think about it, to make sure it's still working, to keep moving it around inside of that really full cupboard. So that is definitely something to think about. So the real cost of our things, people often think that clutter costs space, and it does, but I actually think it costs something much bigger than that. It's mental energy, exactly what I was just saying. If you look around your house, I have I have one thing actually, and I walk past it every day, and it really annoys me. I've got these beautiful pictures of my landing, and I was dusting them, and I knocked one off of the wall, and the glass shattered. Oh, it's so annoying. Cleared it all up, whatever. Put the picture back on the wall and it's got no glass in it. And I walk past that picture about 10 times a day, and I go, Yeah, I must do that, I must do that, I must do that. That is an unfinished product, uh, project, sorry, in my head. Now, as soon as I've got that glass done, probably only one phone call, one visit, pick it up, put it in the glass, it's done. It's off my mind. But if you're gonna surround yourself with unfinished project projects, such as I don't know, colour by numbers you've got sitting on the side, something you were meant to fix, something you were meant to sew, something you were meant to read, all of these things will build up and build up and build up, and you will not be mentally free. We are always gonna have thousands of thoughts going through our head. I think I read something the other day, is it not like 60,000 thoughts go through our head in a day? Oh, that's a lot, isn't it? We don't need to action every single thought. We don't, but it would be nice if the voice was a little bit quieter, wouldn't it? So if we can quiet our surroundings down, maybe we can just relax in our own house. What a thought, eh? The money has already gone. This is one of the hardest mind shifts for people because people say, Oh, but that cost me £80, I just can't get rid of it. I've never used it, but I'm sure I will. And I'm gonna challenge that. Money has gone, it's gone, you've spent it. Keeping it doesn't bring the money back, it simply means you're paying twice, once with your wallet, and then every day afterwards with the space and your mental energy. I remember this is a long time ago, many years ago, when me and my husband moved in together, and he had these light blue stonewash Armani jeans. Now, I don't remember my husband knew he was in his 40s, and he must have bought these jeans when he was like very, very early 20s, and granted, they might have been 100-200 pounds. So, let me set the scene of these jeans. They were light stonewash Armani jeans with paint flickers on them. Do you remember this? Do you remember the day of this? Oh my god, they were hideous. So, when we're moving these things in the flat at the time, I said to him, Are you gonna wear these? and he went, They cost me a lot of money. Well, they might have, but that was 20 years ago, and you have a pair of stonewest jeans with white flickers on them. Sometimes things can just be a memory without having to hold on to the physical item. I quite like the thought that if somebody said to me, You've got to pack up your life in a suitcase today, that I would be able to get my hands on those most precious things that I own. I would absolutely be able to do this. There is a lot that I could leave behind, and it's not because I don't love them things, I'm surrounded by all of my best things all the time. It's just that I don't keep excess things so I can get to the things that I love. So it's definitely something to think about next time that you look at something, and that's how you feel about it. The money has gone. Every item has a cost, and people think that I just mean price tag, but it isn't. Every item also costs space in your cupboard, the attention that you have to give it every time you go in that cupboard, the cleaning of it, the organizing of it, the moving of it, the maintaining of it, the remembering of it. The true cost of ownership is so much bigger than the number on the receipt. So much bigger. You don't realise that when you buy a plant and you go, Oh, it's five pounds. It's not just five pounds, is it? Because think of your time as money every time I water that, every time I pay some attention to that, but you have to do that with all of the things around you, and you don't realise what the cost of that is because you don't put a cost on your time, and that is exactly the point, isn't it? And that's why they say time is money. Ah, is that all making sense now? If you think the things that drain us the most aren't always the things that we own, they're the things that we haven't finished, and like I was saying before, like the sewing machine you were gonna learn how to use, or the pile of paperwork you've got sorted out, the broken lamp, half-completed DIY projects, and every time you walk past them, just like my picture, they're reminding you something is unfinished, so no wonder we feel overwhelmed. People rarely keep things because they love them, they keep them because they hope one day that they're gonna use them, or those genes will fit into them, and they'll start that hobby and they'll fix it and they'll use it, but really we're keeping the possibility and the responsibility of that thing. Think how much freedom that you would have. You know, like when you go on holiday and you have nothing to think about, you have your suitcase full of things, you put them in the wardrobe. If you put them in the wardrobe, that's what I do. Um, you lay out all of your things and you go and sit around the pool with your children, you have a lovely day, you come back and you go, can I do? Kids are playing, we'll just chill out, have a shower before we go out. You don't need to think about anything, because there's nothing to do. And wouldn't it be nice that you walked into your house and it felt like you were on holiday and you had so minimal to do? So on Saturday we had a double play date. Um so both my son and daughter had friends over, and for those of you that have got younger children than I, mine are coming up to eight and ten, um there was light at the end of the tunnel, and this is it. So they had their friends over, and for once I was kind of hanging around like I usually do, like I'll do a teeny diny job and then I'll see if they're all alright, and no one needed me. No one needed me. They were over for about eight hours, I think. And apart from can you make me some food? Classic, can I have a snack? Can I have some food? No one needed me to do anything, no one wanted my time, and I felt a little bit lost because I was on top of everything. I could have done that picture, then I probably should have made that phone call, shouldn't I? But it didn't even spring into my mind. But I had nothing to do, and it was nice. And my husband watched TV and I come in and I said to him, um, should we do something? He goes, What do you want to do? I was like, I don't know, and he goes, Why don't you just relax? I was like, Relax, but there's stuff to do, and he said, like what I don't know. I did busy myself on the sundown painting all the fences, but yeah, on that Saturday, I literally couldn't think of one thing to do because I felt like I was always waiting for somebody to ask me something to do, or or I couldn't even think of a job to do, and that was absolutely crazy for me for the first time. So I want you to do something for me. I want you to close your eyes for a moment, and I want you to imagine walking into your home, and I want you to imagine there's nothing to do. The washing's done, the ironing's done, the cleaner's been, the grass has been cut, every cupboard opens easily, you know, everything lives, nothing falls out, nothing is shouting for your attention, fix me, you know, start this new hobby, and you can actually enjoy your home. So you go into the kitchen, you make yourself a nice drink, and you sit down on the sofa and you just breathe. That feeling doesn't come from buying another storage basket, it comes from having less to manage. Another thing that I live and die by is buy once and buy well, and it's one thing that I'm really passionate about because I have done it many times in the past. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of money, so we used to buy things cheaper. So instead of me having kickers, I had Rock City from the marketplace, things like that. I didn't have Levi jeans, which a couple of my friends had, I know it was a luxury. Um, I just had like high street brand, um, and so I've learned that these things don't last as long, and so as I've got older, it's absolutely not a brand thing. And I was trying to explain this to somebody the other day, they said, Um, oh, it's a hundred percent linen, and I went, I prefer linen cotton blend because it doesn't crease, and my husband bought something from oh, where did he buy it from? I can't remember, he bought some shorts, and he said, 'What do you think of these?' and I felt the material and I was like, No, they look nice, but I'm not keen on the material. And he said, These were £100, and I looked at the material and they were 90% viscos, and I'm like, 90% viscos. I wouldn't even so a lot of the things that I look at now, I very much look at the material, the quality. You will always find these things that are cheaper, they just don't last as long. And so if you look after things, then we can stop filling our homes with impulse purchases that we naturally become grateful for the things that we actually own, and then they will start feeling special again. Letting go is not giving up. Some people think that getting rid of something means that they've failed, and it doesn't, it means you're choosing peace over your own guilt of not being able to do everything. You're choosing your space over obligation and your future over your past decisions, and that is so freeing. Your home should give you energy, it should be the place that restores you, not another place asking for something from you and the endless list of things to organize or a reminder of unfinished jobs, and sometimes the first steps towards creating that home isn't buying something, it's about letting things go. So here's the hard truth: you probably don't need another storage basket or another cupboard or a bigger house. You need less, less to manage, less to think about, because the life you're dreaming of isn't hiding behind better storage, it's hiding underneath everything you've been meaning to let go of. Because you're becoming someone who owns less, because you're becoming someone who has more space for what really matters. Thank you for listening to The Quiet Reset, and I'll see you in the next episode.