Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Hosted by Alexis Schmoker – wife, mama of two, nurse, and Jesus lover. This podcast is all about embracing the beautiful chaos of motherhood, finding joy in the messy moments, and leaning into faith through it all. Whether you're navigating sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, or the everyday miracles of raising little ones, you're not alone. Join Alexis as she shares real-life stories, heartfelt conversations, and encouragement to help mamas everywhere find grace, laughter, and purpose in the wild adventure of motherhood.
Let’s find the joy in the chaos—together!
Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
07 | The Life-Changing Power of Believing in Your Child- A Conversation with Amy Bray
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"My husband reminded me that I didn't need a ministry background—I just needed to trust that if God led me to this role, He would equip me." Amy Bray's reflection on stepping into early childhood ministry speaks to anyone who's ever doubted their calling. Over coffee and conversation, we dive deep into how one family's journey through autism defied medical expectations and created unlimited possibilities.
Amy's story captivates from the start—married to her high school sweetheart for over 30 years, raising four remarkable sons including Luke, who has autism. When doctors painted a devastatingly bleak picture of Luke's future, Amy made a pivotal decision: "I accept that we have autism. But I do not accept that this will be his life." What follows is an extraordinary testament to advocacy, faith, and the power of believing in your child. Today, Luke works at a hospital, has competed in Special Olympics (even serving as a delegate to Washington D.C.), and is preparing for semi-independent living.
The conversation weaves through hilarious "mom fails" (including finding small objects in ears during a doctor's appointment), the anxieties of parenting, and why Disney trips remain their family's sacred tradition—a place where adult children's "shoulders relax, burdens lift, and they have permission to be kids again."
Through tears and laughter, Amy shares how their challenges transformed her entire family. Her other sons developed profound empathy, with one discovering his career calling working with special needs children. Most powerfully, she reveals how embracing the unexpected has shown her that "nothing is wasted" in God's plan, not even their hardest days.
For any mother feeling overwhelmed by an unexpected diagnosis, career decision, or simply the weight of raising good humans—this conversation offers both practical wisdom and soul-deep encouragement. How might your biggest challenges become your greatest blessings? Listen and discover how faith can transform even the wildest journey.
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Mama of the Wild Crew
📸: A heartfelt thank you to Jordan Allen of Cr00ked Teeth Photography for capturing this stunning cover photo.
Welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew
Speaker 1Welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast , the podcast where we embrace the messy , wild , beautiful journey of motherhood together . I'm your host , alexa Schmoker , mama of two beautiful kiddos , wife , nurse and lover of Jesus . Motherhood is full of hard moments , unexpected chaos and those days where you just really don't have it all together . But in the midst of it all , there is so much joy . On this podcast , we're diving into the real , honest conversations about motherhood the challenges , the triumphs and everything in between . We'll hear the stories of incredible moms from all walks of life , share wisdom , laughter and let's be real probably a few tears , and we're going to discover how to embrace the joy in this chaos . So , whether you're rocking a baby to sleep , folding that never-ending pile of laundry or sneaking away for a quiet moment with your coffee , welcome Mama . You're not alone here . Hit , subscribe and join me on this wild adventure of motherhood . I can't wait to do this journey with you .
Meet Amy Bray: Faith-Filled Mom of Four
Speaker 1Welcome back to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast . I am so excited for today's episode because we have a truly special guest joining us , someone who has poured her heart into serving God , loving others and shaping lives of so many little ones , including my own children . Amy Bray is a woman with faith and dedication that shines through in everything that she does . She has spent years helping lay a foundation of Christ in the lives of young children as the early childhood director at our church . Her work has impacted so many families , mine included , and I know so many of you listening have been blessed with her work along the way . Her ministry does not stop there . Amy is a wife to her high school sweetheart , jason , a mom to four amazing young men . She truly embodies everything it means to lead with love and faith in every aspect of her life . Amy , welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast . I am so honored to have you here . Will you take a moment to introduce yourself and share a little bit about your family ?
Speaker 2Of course , thank you for that lovely introduction . That's so kind . Um , yes , well , um , um , I have been married to my husband , jason , for 31 years . It'll be 31 actually in may . So , um , we were high school sweethearts , um , and so we actually dated for six years before we got married , which is a long time to date . So we dated for six years before we got married and we met at church . We did not go to the same high school , but we met at church , and so that was important to both of us from the very beginning . We literally got married . He graduated from college on the first week of May . I graduated from college the second week of May . We got married the third week of May .
Speaker 2Wow , that's a busy May . Yes , it was a busy May , and so we kind of made our way and managed to have four amazing boys Felt like we kind of grew up together . You know how that goes . So all of the things yeah , well , that's amazing . So all of the things .
Speaker 1Yeah Well , that's amazing . And what are your boys' names and their ages ?
Speaker 2We have Ryan . He's 27 . And he works in Tulsa in finance . He went to TU . He's my just my firstborn , like my steady , loyal um , you know , thoughtful gift giver son . Um , he's been dating a wonderful girl for about two years , so , um , we love her also . And then , um , we have Grant and he will be 24 on like in like two days . So , and he is uh , he just graduated um from Johnson university in Knoxville , Tennessee .
Speaker 2Um , and he is um , he works with , um , children with disabilities . That's his um kind of his , his sweet spot , he , that's what he's doing right now . And then he is uh , wants to get his LPC , his counseling , to great . So , and he's married to Abby , who we adore , and they've been married almost a year . And Grant is my sweet , empathetic , you know , lover boy . That's who he is . And then we have Luke , and Luke is 21 and Luke has autism and he is just full of life and personality and that's never been an obstacle for him . That's what kind of the best way I could say that he's um . After graduating from my school , he moved right into a great transition program and he works at saint francis hospital oh , okay , yeah , so , yeah , so kind of a kind of a cool story there .
Speaker 2And and then we have Will and Will is 20 . He is at TCC right now working on a little associate's degree . Before he goes to he wants to get his degree in information science and technology . Right now that is kind of the path . So he has there's an option at OU , there's an option at OSU , so he is trying to kind of decide . And he's kind of my quietly funny child that you know he's just hilarious but you don't really know that from the minute you meet him . So he kind of just kind of gets under your skin in a good way and he also has the best heart .
Speaker 1So I love my boys . Yes , a lot of good boys .
Speaker 2How fun .
Speaker 1You know I'm now a boy mom . Yes , so I did not understand boy mom life prior to being a boy mom .
Speaker 2Well , and you only have sisters .
Speaker 1I only have sisters , yes , and I really . I mean , we have Briggs , my nephew , yes , and then I have um two other nephews , but besides that I had never really known boys and man . Is it different ? It is it's like the second it happens , you're like I get it . Yes , I get it .
Speaker 2Well , I was a girly girl and , um , god gave me these four sons . I was like , okay , so , and I have all nieces , so , um , except I do have a nephew on on each side , but mostly I have all of these nieces , and so the boys were sort of just barged into all the little girl stuff that we had going on . But I love them , I wouldn't trade them for anything .
Speaker 1Oh , poor boys . My husband is the youngest of poor boys too , yes . So lots of boys , yes , okay . So , miss Amy , as moms , you know , we can absolutely be crushing it , and then we
Mom Fails: The Ear Story
Speaker 1have a mom fail . It never fails to have a mom fail . Yes , what is one of your funniest mom fails ?
Speaker 2Um , I have a lot , but the one that I'm going to tell you about is in my . My husband even said I can't believe you were going to tell them that , but I'm going to .
Speaker 2So , um , luke , um , my son with autism , he was probably eight or nine in elementary school and he'd been fidgeting with his ears and now with autism you know , there is a lot of stemming and there's a lot of sensory things and his teacher remarked on it and I thought , well , maybe it's an infection . And then he just kind of stopped and I was like , well , okay , that was just a little phase . We were happening there and he , a couple weeks go by and it's time for his well check at the doctor's office . We go to the doctor's office and she looks in his ears and she looks in one of his ears and there's a small rock in it . Oh , no . And then she looks in his other ear and he has a pencil lead in that one and she was like , oh , and I'm like , well , I will not be winning mother of the year this year , for sure .
Speaker 2So , and they , yeah , anyway . So it was a little double trip there to the ENT . Oh , to get them out . They had . Actually , we actually had to put him under . Oh , no , to get him out .
Speaker 1It was , um , yeah , I cannot imagine you're like , okay , one of my sisters put , um , something up their nose . I think it was like one of those foam peanuts , I think it was Avery . I'm gonna have to ask my mom , but I like remember the whole . We had to go to urgent care and then , right before she got back , she like sneezed it out .
Speaker 2But yeah , something about like those ears and noses I know . So yeah , I was like okay , so next time I'm gonna , I'm gonna follow up more yes , that's funny .
Speaker 1Okay , since I've been doing this , though , I feel like every mom has an ear story like ear infections is a hot topic , oh yeah , with moms . So you weren't wrong about thinking it was your infection .
Speaker 2I did well , and you know , here's the other thing resolves and , by the time , like it was like infection , I did Well and you know , here's the other thing by the time , like it was like my third kid , yeah , you know you were easy going and I was like , okay , like it had been like Ryan , it had only been him . You know , I would have been like we are going to the doctor right now , right , there was something wrong .
Speaker 1Yes , we've got a well check soon .
Speaker 2We're good and it was not good , it was sad .
Speaker 1Well , hopefully that gives everyone a little reassurance . You know you will be okay . As a mom with a mom fail . That's funny , okay . So , amy , your heart for teaching ministry and serving families is so evident . Can you share a little bit about the different callings God has placed on your heart and what led you to pursue
Called to Early Childhood Ministry
Speaker 1them ? I know your journey into early childhood ministry wasn't always something that you had initially had planned , so how did that opportunity unfold and what gave you the confidence to step into it ?
Speaker 2Okay , so that's kind of a funny story . So from a very , very young age I knew that I wanted to be a teacher like that . I had an amazing fourth grade teacher especially , and she , I loved her so much and she really I was like , you know , I'm 10 years old and I'm like I'm going to be a teacher , and so you know . So I went to school , I got my teaching degree , I came back to Owasso and I taught here for several years and , um , then I decided , you know , we've got , you know , we got married , we had , we had our oldest son , and I was like , you know , I really want to be able to stay home from him and it really , you know it , it broke my heart to to take to take that . I was initially a leave of absence , um , but I thought , you know , I'm going to focus on , you know , this other calling that I know that I have , which is motherhood . So we wanted to have another baby , so I stayed home and we didn't have just one more baby .
Speaker 1We had three more babies .
Speaker 2So we had four of these four little kids . And then we had Luke , who had special needs , and so we really did need to supplement our income a little bit , because therapies different things . And so I started thinking , well , you know what's my skill set , you know I can teach and I'm a mom . And so I started . I thought , well , maybe I'll just go back and I'll substitute teach . And it just didn't quite feel right . And we had started sending our church and I had noticed this was back in the day when they had like a paper bulletin , right .
Speaker 1Remember the paper bulletins .
Speaker 2I had a paper bulletin and I opened it up and I was like we hadn't been there long I mean , we may have even been like the second time we were there and I noticed that this was a job opening . There was an early childhood director job opening and I was like , huh , that's nice . And I didn't , literally didn't think anything about it Really , and time is going by and you know and it's and like every week that there it is in the bulletin it's just looking at me and I kind of think about it .
Speaker 2Then one of my friends tell me tells me that she's going to apply for it and I was like , oh well , I think that's great , I think you'd be great at it , and um , and she would have been really great at it , and I kind of , at the last minute , she sort of decided to take her name out of the writing and she came to me and she said , listen , you , you need to apply for this job . And it really kind of took me by surprise and I was like , you know , I don't know , I've never , I don't have a ministry background . And she was like , well , I didn't , I don't either . She said , but I just feel like you should apply . So I kind of sat on it and , you know , kind of I prayed about it and I just didn't feel confident . But it wasn't that God wasn't , you know , calling me to it , it was just my own insecurity about it .
Speaker 2And my husband and his wisdom was , uh , reminded me that , um , you know , I didn't have a teaching background , but I did . What I did have was at our previous church , um , um , my friend and I had essentially ran the nursery , um , you know , the , the baby and toddler nurseries . We had planned baby dedications , we had coordinated volunteers , schedules , all of all of the things like . And he was like um , you're , you're totally qualified to do this . He said plus , you know , you've got this teaching background and the best part about it is that it was really it was a flexible job .
Speaker 2And I had , um , my , my younger two children were still , um , you know , they were like three , four , five , somewhere between three and five . You know , they were like three , four , five , somewhere between three and five . You know , they were young and I needed to be able to , to get them to and from preschool . And I needed , you know , I had my older boys in elementary school and so I decided , okay , I will apply . And even though I was still , you know , kind of anxious about it , so I applied , I get the job . Of course I get this job . And I was just like , well , okay , god , I got this job . Now what ?
Speaker 2And um , one of the most um , amazing parts of the story was I , you know , I was still just having a lot of anxiety about , about , doing a good job .
Speaker 2I really just wanted to do a good job , but I was very unfamiliar , I didn't know exactly how to run early childhood ministry and I was in the middle of a Bible study and we were doing the life of Moses and it just so happened to be the part in the story where God speaks to Moses through the burning bush and tells Moses that he is to go rescue . He's going to be the tool that God uses to rescue his people , the Israelites . And Moses is like me , yeah , no . And he starts listing out all of the reasons why he's not really the man for the job I'm not a good speaker , all of these things and God's like , no , I'm going to equip you , I'm going to be you , I'm gonna , I'm gonna be with you this whole time and it , like it was just this feeling of of I , this just massive application for me , of of you know , I don't have to know all of this right , like God is going to be with me , if he , he has led me to this church , he has led me to this role , um , he has given me this job .
Speaker 2And Um , he has given me this job and , um , he's going to be with me . So , um , I , you know we I started and didn't really look back , so I had the job for 16 years , so it was great and you just had your little retirement tea party I did .
Speaker 1It was so cute at church . I know Chris Pearl loves the tea party .
Speaker 2Oh , I do too . Like I said , I have boys , so I get a lot of tea parties in my house .
Speaker 1Oh , that is so cute , and I just dropped Crupearl off at Mother's Day out right before we started this , and they do depot in the morning , and so they come in and like sometimes they have little stuff showing on the screen like while they're coming in , and so , as I was walking her in , it was the minnow version of Moses's story , talking like at the burning bush . Yes , 10 minutes ago . That's so funny , is that not so crazy ? Yes , I love it . So that is cool . You know , it's just a cool little thing . Okay . So , amy , one of the hardest parts of motherhood , at least for me , has been just the anxiety that I feel over my children , with the anxiety of their health , their safety , their happiness
Trusting God with Your Children
Speaker 1. Um , I find myself just wanting to protect them from everything , and I know I can't always be in control and sometimes that's the hardest part .
Speaker 1For me it's just like letting go of that control . Um , so I'd love to hear how your faith has shaped you through your journey of motherhood and how you've maybe struggled with some of these same feelings , and how you've learned to trust God with your children , especially as they grow into those older seasons and those high school and young adult seasons .
Speaker 2Yeah , Well , you know , I think one thing that I was not prepared for . Um , and it's going to sound . It may even sound a little like stupid to say this , but I did not comprehend the love that I would have for my children right before I had them . You can't and . I just , I just had no idea . Like , just like this fierce protective , I would die for you absolutely kind of love and I was not really prepared . I remember crying and telling my mom I'm like is how is this ? How you feel ?
Speaker 2about me and she was like , yes , this is exactly how I feel about you and I'm like all this time , I had no idea you love me this much . She was just . You know , it was a lot of pregnancy hormones it's happening , but at the same time you , I just I was not prepared for that , that much emotion . And so when you take that and you kind of combine it leak with a type a personality planner , personality right , um , it kind of manifested itself in quite a bit of anxiety for me anyway .
Speaker 2I was . You know , oh my goodness , are they ? The book says that they need to be doing this . Are they hitting their developmental milestones ? You know , oh my goodness , they're going to preschool . Do they have a friend ? You know , are they making friends ? Are they being kind ? You know just all of those types of things .
Speaker 2And then , obviously , as they age , it gets , you know the stakes get higher and you know the anxiety can grow . Um , but , um , you know , I feel like , you know , on a cognitive level , we just don't have um control every act , over every single aspect of their lives . Um , we can only kind of control our responses and we can teach our children how to control their responses , because whatever happens to them and it's going to happen , and it's not anything , you know you know we can't protect them and keep them in a little bubble . Um , you know , with mom collective I , you know I love um , uh , julie Richard , who does the um , our curriculum , that right for fearless mom , and she's got a lot of wisdom to share and I feel like one of the things that she talks about a lot is having um a growth mindset and a God mindset , right , and basically that just means that we are equipping them , and we can't protect them , but we're going to be equipping them for their lives . And she kind of she always talks about Romans 8 , 28 . And it says that we know in all things that God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose , and he wastes nothing , including the bad things that happen or the challenging things that happen .
Speaker 2I guess I could phrase it that way . In fact , I read that verse and then I , immediately after the words were nothing is wasted . And then , two days later , something else popped up in the words Nothing is wasted again popped up and I thought to myself I need to sit on that for a second and I feel , like um , that it's just telling us that God uses it all . He uses every bit of what goes on in our children's lives , and our job as moms is to not fear that as much , as just trust him with it . And I , you know , I still struggle with it as as they get older . But I'd have to kind of stop and I have to do a reset , I have to gain some perspective .
Speaker 2Um , if you've ever , um , you know , gone through anything , you know , what I've always heard is is to start thinking about the positives , find something to be thankful for , thank God for those things , and it will immediately reset and you're going to be able to get a positive outlook and find your joy again and then , ultimately , you know , just go back to giving your children over , and it's not , you just give it . You don't just give them over one time , right , it's a daily surrender , um , at least for me , it is , you know , of of the things . Otherwise , you know , I think that you know , if , if we didn't have that , if we didn't have our faith , I feel like we would all have crippling anxiety . So , um , you know , I just really think that , um , we , that we definitely need to just think about the time that we have with our kids and thank God for that and know that he's given them to us , right , and so he's got it and he has them , yeah .
Speaker 1And so the mom out there that's listening that is hearing this and maybe they don't go to church regularly or their kids aren't plugged in anywhere . What is something that you would recommend for her ? Plugging her kids in , plugging herself , in , plugging her family in different steps that they could take ?
Speaker 2Well , I definitely think that if you have that desire , you know , um , you know you're going to need to , just , you know , look around at the churches that are around you , you know , and try to find some place , especially you know if your kids aren't happy , you're not going to be happy , Right ? So find some place that you feel like you've heard good things . Ask your friends , you know , you know . Where do you go to church ? You know , do you like their children's programming ? And you know , and start there , and you know , and pray over that decision , because your child's faith journey begins with you . You know , we tell , you know , parents this and I'm talking in like I'm still doing it , but I believe in it so wholeheartedly when we would do baby dedications that you've got 936 weeks
Luke's Journey with Autism
Speaker 2with your children , from the time that they're born until they graduate . And I'm not saying you don't have them after that , you do , but you have them in your home for that time and you have that time , for you know where your influence is , the main influence , and so you know you want to make those moments count , you want to be intentional with them , and so you know what are you going to do at that time ? You know you want to . You know you want to build that little foundation with them because that's what they're going to take with them when they launch .
Speaker 2And that's the goal . That's what we're doing here . We're not raising babies , we're looking towards . For me , I'm raising men . Who do I want them to be when they leave my home ? That's the goal . And so trying to process , you know , getting them into a church that's going to partner with me , that's going to help me , walk alongside me . You know , as my child grows and it's going to have some , some great um programming and some things for them as they grow , that was , that was , you know , kind of what our church did for my boys , for sure .
Speaker 1Yeah , and we had just talked about this before we started . But it's okay to ask to sit down with the director and ask to do a tour and ask to you know you want to make sure your kids are safe . I understand that , absolutely so , and I feel like you know the director on the other side would appreciate as well . Oh , totally .
Speaker 2I would appreciate as well . Oh , totally , you know , um , I was always really passionate . I love to share what we were doing because I felt I , you know , I believed , I believed in our mission and you know , and I think that , um , you know , any any church is going to to welcome you into their space and and to show you , um , you know kind of what what they're all about and um , you know kind of what their end game is .
Speaker 1Right , and now you've kind of stepped into a little bit of the Mom Collective group like we've talked about with the Fearless Mom . So for moms trying to plug into groups , if you're local and it's kind of like the surrounding areas of Wausau , tulsa , surrounding areas , mom Collective starts new groups in the fall . Is that ?
Speaker 2correct . Yes , so what we're doing now is we will be opening up registration , um , this spring and we will start up Well , the initial registration was is going to be for all of our returning moms , and then we'll open it up , uh , to new moms and , um , yeah , yeah , if you're looking for community and if you're looking for um to just to walk with moms that are ahead of you in your journey , that's huge . If I'd had that , if I had someone to hold my hand , um , you know , as with different challenges and things , because you know they're going to tell you it's not easy but you're going to be okay and your kids are going to be okay and I'm here for you . And you've got someone that um has has been through that . And not only do you have mentor moms , you've got moms in your group where you guys can , you know , walk together in in parenting and so , um , yeah , I um big believer mom collective . I think it's just so . I just think it's great .
Speaker 1Yes , well , I do too . Obviously , I'm in it , my sister's in it , we absolutely love it and it has provided us with some amazing , amazing connections and people . Um , and you don't have to go to first church to be a part of mom collective , so I'll link the information in the show notes for anyone who's interested . And if you're not local or in the area , maybe look out around and see what kind of groups are out there , cause I feel like there are stuff out there and make make one of your own . If there's not absolutely , you can always be the first one to start it .
Speaker 1Um , okay , so , miss Amy , with motherhood , it brings unique challenges , yes , and lessons , and I'd love for you to share a little bit of your journey with your son Luke . Um , you , you said that you know Luke has autism and the journey for you has been challenging at times and also so joyful . Um , so what does it look like with your family ? And now , with your retirement , you are stepping into a different season of your life with your son Luke . So if you'll kind of talk a little bit on that and how you hope to support and encourage other moms who are walking similar paths , oh , yes .
Speaker 2Um , okay , so , um , so Luke is our third child out of four and um , you know everything about um , about my pregnancy with Luke was completely normal . Um , he was , you know my delivery was normal , he was that happiest he was . You know my delivery was normal , he was the happiest , sweetest . You know little baby and little guy and just , you know hitting the milestones and you know boys there's , sometimes they're a little bit slower to develop on certain things and I was used to that because I had , you know he had two older brothers and you know something interesting happened when he was a toddler , he was about when he was 16 months old , I had his youngest brother , which , so this was okay , this was a close , this was big they were close together , you know .
Speaker 2And so I had a six year old , a three year old , a 16 month old , oh wow , and a newborn , and a newborn , oh and it , it . It was wild times . It was wild times . You can ask anyone .
Speaker 2And so they were , you know , four under the age of six and um , it was very busy and you know , and so there was a lot of um , there's a lot , just was a lot going on , yeah , so you know he's , he's approaching , you know two and you know he turns two and things are , you know , I'm not noticing , you know anything that's raising a red flag . Um , somewhere between two and three , some things kind of started happening . Um , it didn't happen really all at once , it wasn't like one day he woke up and there was . You know , there was behaviors there , but it definitely started happening between two and three .
Speaker 2I remember at his third birthday party , for example , um , we had it out of my mom and dad's house , you know , we had this like it's like a dump truck theme . It was really cute . You get all this stuff . And he , what he really wanted to do was go over to my parents screen door and open it and close it and open it and close it and just watch the door open and close it and open it and close it and just watch the door open and close , and I was like , come over here , let's go open presents , you know , and I'm just and just . You know that , and apart from really some , some language development that I had really just seen , not just I mean it , just he didn't lose words , but he just really stopped developing new , new words .
Speaker 2And so , um , you know , I just had some things , some fears in the back of my mind , or just just some concerns , and we , um , we were , you know , kind of approaching , looking at that and , um , right around then , about a month or so later , my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and , um , you know , our world really just sort of screeched to a halt and kind of all of my emotional energy really went into , um , just my dad and supporting my mom , um , through his cancer diagnosis and his treatment and , um , he , you know , he was with us for eight more months and then he passed away . So it was really kind of an emotional time and , you know , we've got these little kiddos and my dad passes away . And I knew , you know , I knew that it was , you know , it was time to really address Luke , because I thought , you know , I can't , you know , just say , okay , this is just a developmental delay .
Speaker 2Like I couldn't just say it was this , it was really , it was something Right . Like I couldn't . I couldn't just say it was this , it was really , it was something Right . So we um decided that we would take him to um , a developmental pediatrician in Tulsa . Who this pediatrician is ? No , she no longer , um is in practice there .
Speaker 2But we , we went to see her and he was , you know , it was before he was four , he was somewhere between he was about three and a half and um , he um , you know , after she kind of evaluated him , we went back for the meeting and she just painted this very , very bleak picture of of what his life was going to be and and this diagnosis and and um , you just said things like um , he's probably not going to read or write , and if he does , it'll be very , very basic , and um , that it could be months or possibly years before he would toilet train . I mean just , you know , anything that you could hear as a mom that would just crush you about your child . We heard and I , I decided that , um , that's just not gonna sit right with that , doesn't sit right with me , right and we're , I do not accept this right . I accept that we have most likely autism . But I do not accept that this will be his life , right ? So Luke , luke could take direction .
Speaker 2Luke was making progress in toilet training . I didn't feel like it was , you know , far away and he was , you know , even though he definitely had lace . He was happy , he was engaged , he was social , you know , he , he was his own little special self and , and even with his stemming , his repetitive behaviors , this child had an obsession with elevators like I'd never seen in my life still does . But I was like you know , how could they say this about my child ? After evaluating him one time , I was like this is not the doctor for us , right ? So I just went back to our regular , just our pediatrician , and I said for right now you're our only doctor and I trust you , and so we are going to , we're going to focus on what we can do , moving forward . And so she was great and she just really walked alongside us . You know , she knew Luke , she , you know , the other team didn't really know him but did right . So , um , you know , two months later he was toilet changed .
Speaker 1That was like okay you're like we have checked that box .
Speaker 2Yes , and so my next step was to get him into preschool , and I wanted him to go to the preschool that my other kids are going to now , this is back before .
Speaker 2This is back in the days that before , like pre-k in the public school , right , as far as you know , organized um pre-k in the public school . This was , um , you know , mostly you were just trying to find a little preschool . So , um , one thing that this public school did have was that they had a developmentally delayed pre-k program , okay , and so I was like , okay , so what , what we did is we put him Was that at Hudson , it was actually at Barnes , okay . So he went to the DD Pre-K like two days a week , and then the other two days a week he went to a regular preschool . But the preschool that his brothers went to were like , yes , we will take Luke , and they had an elevator in their building . Oh , that's a plus . So it was a big deal . And so he did both , he did kind of a hybrid and he thrived .
Speaker 2School was the magic key for my son . He ended up from DD pre-K we went into gd kindergarten and that was actually at stone canyon , okay , and so he did stone canyon , and so it's so funny because , yeah , he was at , he ended up being at like three or four different schools and , um , you know , made friends at all of them , yeah , and he . Then we made the switch to hodgson and hodgson at that point had the autism program , yes . So when he was in the first grade he went to Hudson and we moved all of our , the rest of our boys over there and just it . Just he just took off like a rocket . You know , I'm not saying we didn't have the hard times , because we did . He started doing Special Olympics when he was in second grade , which was just the absolute best .
Speaker 1Yes , loved .
Speaker 2Special Olympics , loved Special Olympics , and he was like a gold medalist in bowling . Bowling became his thing early on . Competitive , like competitive . My husband's also competitive and I'd have to remind him it's the Special Olympics , okay , it's the Special Olympics , we want him . Luke was know , but Luke was , you know , luke was all in on it . So he would , you know , get those gold medals and so excited . And then you know , another great thing about Owasso's , their school district , is they have a peer mentoring program . So they're going to , you know , they're going to . There's a lot of inclusion there and so is that was fabulous for him .
Speaker 2Yeah , so he , he never felt like , you know , he , everyone was his friend , right , you know . So he was always super social in that way . And he was in choir . He was in just regular choir and he made all district choir when he was in the ninth grade and I think I don't know if I cried more or his choir teacher cried , right , we were just both like okay , so we did that . He also . As he got into high school , they do unified Special Olympics and so Grant , my second born son there was his was his unified partner for bocce they competed in bocce .
Speaker 2Oh , how fun . And they were like the dream team . They got the gold medal and they just , you know , just see your boys out there . I mean I I get emotional , saying it like it just it just was everything . So we ? Um , one of the things you know , luke , here he is , he's you know , he was chosen to speak at the oklahoma special olympics big gala they have every year at southern hills country club . So he's getting up there and he's telling them what he loves about special olympics at the Oklahoma Special Olympics big gala they have every year at Southern Hills Country Club . So he's getting up there and he's telling them what he loves about Special Olympics , including , like , going to Eskimo Joe's and eating cheese fries and all the things . And then in early 2020 , before everything kind of shut down he was chosen . He went to Washington DC with the Oklahoma delegation about Special Olympics . They kind of took a little group there Special Olympics Oklahoma did to speak about funding for Special Olympics and he got to speak to his experience .
Speaker 2And when he was a senior , I got a message from his teacher oh , luke's been chosen as student of the month . And I was like , okay , and she was like Amy , like not just like our class , like the student body , yes , like he's a student of the month for like his whole senior class . And I was like , oh , oh , I mean it's a big deal . Yeah , I was like , okay , you know , just , you know , he was like his little senior representative for choir homecoming . He competed in Mr Owasso , that's fun , his senior year . Yes , he was Mr Special Olympics and of course he sang . He sang Lean on Me . Oh yeah , he brought the house down , got standing ovation . I was weeping . It was just , he won the hearts of the crowd and he won best smile . So that was a big deal . And I mean I just I wish that I could have gone back to that team that evaluated him early and say , you know , I want you to know that , you know that this
Disney Memories and Making Magic Together
Speaker 2was not you know what is even the word I want to use here . It was not an ending for us . I mean it was , this was the .
Speaker 2You know his diagnosis . He just kicked open doors , he just knocked down barriers , he blew our minds out of the water and it was , you know , it was something just to see and he , he , just , he amazes us . Now there are challenges . I do not want to , you know , let I mean , there are times where autism is autism and we are stubborn about things and we things have to be a certain way and we don't understand why the world doesn't work the way it works in our brains , and so there are times that you know that have been challenging , challenging for our whole family , you know . But , um , I just , you know , I just want to let you know any parents know if they have a child with disabilities ?
Speaker 1that there's , you know they're , they're not just their diagnosis , there's hope there's hope there , so um definitely Right , and I think , too , it's like you were talking about that team and that doctor they don't know your child and so if you are a parent that's facing something like that , they that's not , that's not the end of the road , right Like you have every right to advocate and fight for your child .
Speaker 2Yes , and you know to be that mama bear yes , because absolutely absolutely could he just , you know , I just I feel like I'm very thankful for our , just for our pediatrician , and she was great and and and during sort of our tenure when he was still with , uh , with her , you know , she would even reach out um to to actually a different developmental pediatrician who we actually ended up seeing for part of the time . She was fabulous and just for different things . Because , you know , I think a doctor that can say you know what I'm going to ask somebody that this is their field of expertise is a doctor that you want to have Absolutely .
Speaker 2And she was great . And so , you know , I just , I just want to say that he , he has never let his autism stop him and he's never felt like he's , you know , different . And so , um , you know , I think the world obviously , you know , views him as um , definitely , you know , with a label . But at the same time , you know if you , if you spend 90 seconds with him , you know , views him as definitely , you know , with a label . But at the same time , you know if you , if you spend 90 seconds with him , you know you're smiling , right , he's , he's , he's really something and we're super proud of him . You know he's got this job now , and so it's amazing Really bringing joy .
Speaker 1Yeah , so , as you are going into these young adult years with him , what does that kind of look like ?
Speaker 2Well , um , so , um , we are um . His goal and even though it's it's hard for me to to to think about , is he wants to live , you know , independently . Um , you know , and so the best we told him we said okay , you know , you can do that , you know , we're just going to going to find you a safe place . So we're very fortunate in our community we have a place called New Leaf and they offer housing for individuals with disabilities and job opportunities , a bunch of different things . They even offer like a transition program coming out of high school , and so we are on the wait list there for him to be able to live in Um , you know , they have different levels of housing . Um , some is more , um , kind of hands-on , with a lot more supervision all the way up to , you know , mostly independent , and he's kind of all somewhere in the middle of that Um , and so that's kind of um , our goal um is to to get him into New Leaf and , whenever something happens , to open up and they're building their next phase , probably the next 18 months to two years , and so we're working on life skills , hardcore life skills and things that I feel like you know , things that I think that he knows that he he doesn't know .
Speaker 2For example , we went to the grocery store he wanted to get , um , I can't remember may have been like we're looking for some bread , and I and I was like , okay , where do you think the bread is ? And he kind of looked around and I said , okay , like we looked up , I'm like , okay , look at the signs . They're gonna tell us what's on each aisle , you know . And so , oh , so you know . Knowing just where to find things in a grocery store , right , right , or how to ask for help , how to you know basic kicking budgeting your money's a big deal . How does you know staying within your budget ? Home safety , like when do I call 911 ? What is an emergency ? Internet safety , yes , huge .
Speaker 1Yes , especially with money .
Speaker 2yes , like you said , oh yes , totally , yeah , totally , and things like how to read my prescription bottle , how to make an appointment with my doctor or any other kind of professional . So I actually went on I you know I've got this teaching background . I was like , okay , we're gonna make some lesson plans , right , and we're gonna , we're gonna figure this out . So I downloaded , I downloaded some curriculum off of TeacherPayTeacher and we're working on it . So yesterday we went shopping for some new clothes and you know we talked about what our budget was and you know able to kind of stretch that dollar out . So that was our life skill lesson for yesterday .
Speaker 1I might need that life skill as well , I might need to come on your next shopping trip ?
Speaker 2Yeah , so I mean , you know it's , it's great , cause you know his journey has impacted our whole family in positive ways .
Speaker 2You know , grant found his calling through having an autistic brother and he worked . That his whole heart is . You know , I want to help other families that have . You know , I want to help a special needs child family that you know with any kind of counseling that they might need . He wants , you know , my other two , I would say , develop just an empathy that they maybe would not have had and a patience that maybe I think it's going to serve them the rest of their lives . And you know , and for Jason and I , you know I'm a planner , this was not in my and a patience that maybe I think it's going to serve them the rest of their lives . And you know , and for Jason and I , you know I'm a planner , this was not in my plan , right , this was not anything that I signed up for , you know .
Speaker 2But I , you know again , god has used it . You know , in our lives , we , you know , if in John , chapter nine , where the disciples asked Jesus , they come upon a man he was born blind and the disciples ask him ask Jesus , you know who who sinned this man or his parents that he was born blind , and Jesus responds and he says neither you know , neither this man nor his parents sinned , but this happened so that the works of God may be displayed in him , and that is a that is a special need . Families verse right there . Right , this is , you know . This has happened so that God can show up and and work in their lives and and it affects everyone around them , and so I felt like that is definitely Luke's story .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's one to hold on to . That is that's so special . I was talking to a mom the other day and she was talking about one of her children and she has a background in teaching like blind and deafblind children , and then her son , whenever he was born years later , has had some of those same issues and she said she really struggled with , like did my job , do this ? Like did I manifest ?
Speaker 1this she's like I know that this isn't truth , but it's a spiral that I got into and like I could definitely see how just our brains could get you into that spiral and that's not true .
Speaker 2oh , completely well , you know , I've talked about the business of our home and whenever he was very , very young and for years I couldn't even watch our home videos of him when he was little Cause I was like , okay , right , there was at the moment where we should have gone straight to the doctor . Oh , I missed that . Should we start a therapy there ?
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 2I . We put all of our video on . Yeah , Streamed it up into the cloud however you call that Right and I was able to watch those videos and I hadn't watched them in a long time and it just gave me joy you got to see it with joy . I did . It made me really happy just to see him and to know this was the timing of it . God had Luke got the help he needed in God's time .
Speaker 2And it was not , you know , I didn't do anything wrong . You know we were doing the best we can , and so I just , you know , definitely was . You know , you just have to embrace it . I mean , they're your child's fearfully and wonderfully made and you're made for them . Them and you are made for them . That is exactly right yes , god chose you to be his mom , you know .
Speaker 1So absolutely trust god with your child absolutely , and just like you were talking about siblings too , I think that's so important too , like god chose those brothers to be luke's brother . Yes and yes , because I'm sure that comes with its own challenges as well . Well , to switch gears onto a lighter note , amy , you're a Disney girl so much you are a Disney lover , and I'd love for you to share a little bit about Disney . What are some of your favorite family memories of your trips and what kinds of moments do you hope to create with your family in the future ? Maybe as it grows , maybe with spouses , grandkids one day , maybe ?
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1Yes . And for those moms out there dreaming of taking their kids to Disney I hope my husband's listening , but maybe feeling overwhelmed by the planning or cost what encouragement would you give them and why do you believe it's worth those magical memories ?
Speaker 2Okay , well , you know we love it , like every time , you know we go . People are like you are going back to Disney and I'm like you know what ? You go to the beach every year . Right , you know you do . You , we're going to do this . This is us , yes , and so we love it . We actually go to both parks . We go to Disney World and Disneyland , both , oh , wow , you're full in we are , we are , and you know it started off .
Speaker 2We went to Disney World on our honeymoon , Okay , and you know that was the first time , that was actually the first time I'd ever been , really yes , I'd always wanted to go , you know . And so we went , we had , and we , you know , kind of did you know as much as we could . Now , of course , you know , when you're first married and poor , you don't do a whole lot of that , right , you know , and you know . Then the kids came and what kind of started was my husband worked in a job where he would have a conference in Orlando , okay , and he would have a conference there and it was there every other year it would end up being on Orlando , and so , you know , we would fly out there on airline miles and we would stay with him in whatever hotel he was at , right , then we would just basically pay for our park tickets and our food and we kind of started that . That's kind of the you know the first , and so , right , I'm telling you , if you've got little bitties and you're taking them , and you know , and even you know I would just say you know younger than four watching them , you know , maybe even younger than seven . Watching them like they are , it's just so magical to watch your child love something . And if they are disney fans at all , if they , if they love you know whatever that .
Speaker 2My kids , of course this is , you know , back in the . My kids , of course this is you know , back in the day . They uh , toy Story , buzz Lightyear big time Buzz Lightyear uh , woody , of course , credibles , peter Pan , sleeping Beauty , all of it . And when you watch them meet their characters , like I , you , you , it's just the best excited because you , they are so excited and so just seeing that wonder is just , you know it kind of keeps coming back . Plus , you know Disney is and they , they do everything with excellence . You know they're very detail oriented and as a detail oriented person , I appreciate that so much . I mean it . You know it smells good , it's clean , you know everything . It smells good , it's clean , you know everything , it's , it's imaginative , you know it's innovative , um , and you know , and it , it just kind of just sparks a joy when , when we end up going , so , um , and one of the things also that Disney really does well is they're very accommodating to guests with disabilities .
Speaker 2Okay , and so for , for early , you know when we went when we started taking you know all of them , cause we kind of just took our little two and then we kind of graduated and started taking the older ones you know , and at that point we were kind of going back every four years or so , right , um , it was , you know they would accommodate Luke and his autism , um , and it was really , um , you know , we just felt really seen by them , you know , just like you know they knew that he had , you know , some challenges that maybe some of their other children that were there did not have , and so I feel like they just accommodated us really well and so that also was that was a big draw for us . And also to get four children to agree on a vacation destination and be excited about it and yes , and so it just that sort of you know , it kind of fed that fire , but you know , but then when you go and you have a great experience , it does make you want to go back . So , um , you know , we just as far as it kind of being our family special place , place , I would say , when you know and this was we're talking , you know , 2016 and later so my kids are big kids by this point when we go , we can just watch like their shoulders relax and the burdens kind of lift off , like we feel it ourselves , and I can see that in my voice . They have . They have permission to be kept to be kids again and my , um , my , uh see , I guess grant and will we were . We're actually at disneyland .
Speaker 2This was , um , I have 2021 , I think , maybe 22 , and if you go into cars land , they do this really fun thing .
Speaker 2Of course it looks exactly like the movie and so you know . So you go into Cars Land and they have , when it starts getting dark , they have kind of like a lights on . It's like they turn on all the neon that's in Radiator Springs , and so they turn that on and they play Shaboom , which Life Could Be a Dream , you know from the movie . They play that just like they did in the movie and I was like it's so cute . And so I was just I was taking some video on my phone and I kind of turned around and there they are , you know , I think maybe they were like 16 and 19 at this point and they're just kind of bobbing their heads and they're singing life could be a dream and I just like had this moment of . This is why we go right , right here like they are bobbing their heads without a care in the world . They're remembering when they were little and enjoying this moment , you know being together .
Speaker 2It was just it was great , yeah , so you know , and you know , when we go to , if we're in california , we go to disneyland , we go to avengers campus , which is there at california adventure , you know . Or go to galaxy's edge , which is star wars , oh you know . I mean , if you've got , yeah , kids that's been like , oh , yeah , that like , and you , they get to meet like a character right and they're like it's cool .
Speaker 2They are like it's like when they were little and they met this you , you know they were just like , yes , you know it's just cute to watch and kind of have that interaction . So it makes them happy . Yeah , it makes us happy . And so , as long as they want to go with us , you'll take them , we'll take them .
Speaker 1Yeah , and I feel like there's such an urgency , I feel like to grow up , yes , and now that I mean I'm almost 32 , what I would do to like have that , yeah , that youth and that feeling back Totally , just to be able to give that and live in that and , like you said , like you and your husband , even bask in it .
Speaker 2Oh , totally , it's so cool , you know and you know and then . So Grant is married to Sweet Abby and she'd never really been to Disney and so we kept joking that we were going to indoctrinate her as part of being in our family . But she , we took her last October to Disney World and she loved it , and watching Grant show her all of the things was was like the cutest thing , because it's just like he was just just excited to share his love of this place . That that , you know , has brought him happiness and brought our family happiness , and you know it just . I can just see there there's going to be a little bit of a legacy there , and so we are , um , we are going to go to Disneyland , um , twice this year . So we are , yeah , um , when's this a celebration trip for my retirement ?
Speaker 2And then we're actually going to take um the family and we're going to go this um in the summer and go for their little 70th anniversary .
Speaker 1And so yeah .
Speaker 2So it's you know , yeah , we're going to , we're going to , we're going to do it . It's going to be , it's going to be exciting . So we're gonna . We said we kind of did Disney World heavy for a little bit , so we're gonna switch over to do Disneyland for a while .
Speaker 1That's cool yeah , we definitely want to do a trip . Jordan's aunt and uncle just moved like right by Disney World , oh fun , so I would love to go up and they they're Disney people so they know all the ins and outs and everything .
Speaker 1So I'm like we will go with you guys and then you help us because , crew , we took her to see Paw Patrol in real life . Oh goodness , and that was a year ago , and all the time , did you know , I went to Paw Patrol in real life , in real life , like just all about it . So I think she would absolutely .
Speaker 2Yes , it's great . And you know , I would say for anybody that's thinking about going , know um vacation . You know you're going to invest in a vacation , no matter where you go . You're going to spend a little bit of money , but you know you can , you can do disney , um , you know . You , just you , I think , just some planning on the front end right um I would , I would advise , especially if you've never been for sure , get , get a travel agent and I have a great one um , and she's helped us .
Speaker 2great one Um , and she's helped us . We've been a ton and she still helps us , um . So get a travel agent and those travel agents are going to be able to tell you about all you know staying onsite versus staying offsite , and the perks and that you know , and maybe , oh , during the times to go , you know , and if you've got little kids that aren't even in school yet , you know you should go here , because this is when you know the cross might be lower Right .
Speaker 2You know and they have . They know all the tips and tricks and how to navigate everything . They , you know they're going to tell you about rope drop and they're going to tell you , you know , you know if your child loves Elsa , this is the park you need to go to and here's the character meet and greets and here's how to use the app and just all of the things . It's very you know . We kind of have our own way to do it and you know we don't go hard like all day long . And you know rope drop to fireworks . We definitely we go early for a rope drop , which that means you know what rope drop means .
Speaker 2Is that when you enter yes , there's a literal rope in different sections of the park , and so they , they , they bring you in , and then you stop at this rope and then they drop the rope and you drop , they drop the rope , and then you go into whatever section you want to go into and so , um , we do that .
Speaker 2And then we usually like go back for the afternoon and just enjoy our resort , you know , and swim , or , you know , take a nap , whatever it is , and for you know , for the littles definitely it would be just that same , you know . And then we come back because Disney at night is magical , disney , right , the lights and the , you know . And then if your child can tolerate fireworks and would like that , then you know , stay through that . And then you know . And then you know the next day , you know , know kind of what your limit is . And you know , take a day to rest in the middle of it , right , and enjoy your resort , or go to Disney Springs , or , you know , maybe that's a , you know , a water park day or something , but definitely a pool day , definitely . You know there's ways to do it and ways to do it .
Speaker 2And your children , again , you don't have to start off at a fancy , high-end place , just being there . You know they find wonder in everything . So you know , you can do it when they're small and you know , and and be able to create . They may not even remember some of it , but you will remember it Right . And that is . You know , some of my best memories are of of um of my oldest two , when they were really small and you know , getting to meet the characters and just you know they may not remember it , but we have the pictures and the video to prove it happened and it was just darling , so just the sweetest thing and sometimes really just a hotel pool is all you , I'm not , there's no joke there , but they , they love a hotel pool .
Speaker 2They do yes .
Speaker 1They do . Oh well , amy , I cannot thank you enough for joining us today and sharing your heart and your wisdom and your journey . You have poured so much love , not only to my child , both of my children now , uh group , pearl and Wilder , but so much into my nieces and my nephews that you have there and a lot of my my friends kids who are my kids friends as well , um , um . So the foundation that you've also helped jordan , my husband and I in these early years of parenting , guiding us as we build a christ-centered home , is something we will always be grateful for as you step into this next season of life , with luke working on life skills and preparing for independent living .
Speaker 1Please know that we're praying for you . Your dedication , faith and love continue to inspire so many . We are cheering you on every step of the way . So thank you for everything that you do and being such a light for the lives of our families and very , so many others .
Speaker 2well , thank you so much , thank you for having me and thank you for all of your , all the wild crew mamas out there listening and and just you know , I , just I , I love , you know , I , just I love that you're doing this . This is a I know that you're encouraging a lot of moms out there and you know , I just you know . I want to just let you know that I just think you're a light , I think you're , you're being a light to uh , to all of these moms listening and , um , I just I love that you guys have this as a resource . It's wonderful .
Speaker 1It is a great platform because it's something that , like you're able to reach moms that maybe you wouldn't before , and this is definitely out of my comfort zone . I've never done anything like this , so I'm just trying to follow , you know . Yes .
Speaker 2Yes , I love it .
Speaker 1I'm excited . Oh well , thank you so much again . Of course , mama , I am so grateful that you took time out of your busy schedule today to listen to mama of the wild crew podcast . I'm alexa schmoker and I hope you love this conversation and that it resonated with you . Thank you so much for opening up your circle and letting us in as we walk through this wild ride of motherhood together . Remember , in in the chaos of motherhood , there is always joy to be found , so keep looking in those little moments that make it all worth it . Be sure to follow along on Instagram at mamaofthewildcrew
Closing Thoughts and Gratitude
Speaker 1underscore podcast . Please don't forget to like , subscribe and share our podcast . I'd love to hear from you , so comment , tag me , dm me , let me know what you think and let me know what you'd like to hear next . Mama , I am praying for you , I love you and I cannot wait to that .
Speaker 1You took time out of your busy schedule today to listen to mama of the wild crew podcast . I'm alex Schmoker and I hope you love this conversation and that it resonated with you . Thank you so much for opening up your circle and letting us in as we walk through this wild ride of motherhood together . Remember , in the chaos of motherhood , there's always joy to be found , so keep looking in those little moments that make it all worth it . Be sure to follow along on Instagram at mamaofthewildcrew underscore podcast . Please don't forget to like , subscribe and share our podcast . I'd love to hear from you . So comment , tag me , dm me , let me know what you think and let me know what you'd like to hear next . Mama , I am praying for you , I love you and I cannot wait to see you next time .
