Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Hosted by Alexis Schmoker – wife, mama of two, nurse, and Jesus lover. This podcast is all about embracing the beautiful chaos of motherhood, finding joy in the messy moments, and leaning into faith through it all. Whether you're navigating sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, or the everyday miracles of raising little ones, you're not alone. Join Alexis as she shares real-life stories, heartfelt conversations, and encouragement to help mamas everywhere find grace, laughter, and purpose in the wild adventure of motherhood.
Let’s find the joy in the chaos—together!
Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
When The Devil Knocks: Finding God's Presence in Your Darkest Moments: A Conversation with Lisa Hutchinson
What happens when a teenage mom grows up alongside her child? Meet Lisa Hutchinson – nurse, single mother, and woman of faith who doesn't shy away from the messy parts of her story.
In this deeply moving conversation, Lisa speaks with raw honesty about becoming a mother at 18 and the complicated journey that followed. She shares her battles with depression and suicidal ideation while raising her son Bladen, revealing how her darkest moments became pathways to greater faith and resilience.
Lisa's candid discussion about mental health extends beyond her own experience to her teenage son's struggles with bullying and social challenges after returning to public school. Their parallel journeys through therapy illustrate the generational impact of mental health awareness and the courage it takes to seek help.
Perhaps most powerful is Lisa's perspective on faith as both comfort and challenge throughout her life. Her beautiful analogy that "the strength God gives one person to fight a fire is different from what He gives another to grow a garden" offers listeners a fresh way to understand their own struggles without comparison.
For healthcare workers, Lisa's honest reflection on nursing burnout during COVID will resonate deeply, as will her encouragement to consider change when a career no longer brings fulfillment. "If you're not happy, don't stay," she advises, challenging the notion that loyalty must come at the expense of wellbeing.
Whether you're navigating motherhood, mental health challenges, career transitions, or faith questions, Lisa's story reminds us that perfection isn't the goal – persistence is. Her journey showcases the beauty that emerges when we embrace our full story, even the chapters we might wish to rewrite.
Listen, subscribe, and join our community as we continue finding joy in the wild journey of motherhood together.
If you or someone you love is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can call or text 988 anytime, or visit 988lifeline.org for more information and support. You are not alone, and you are deeply loved and prayed for.
I also highly encourage checking out The Battle Within series by First Church. It's a powerful, faith-filled series that speaks directly to the struggles many of us face with mental health and finding hope in the darkest seasons.
🖥️ YouTube link is included below.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuOq3XvyD1g3dyLvBQQWr61hJARSm06oo&si=VmiNgJqkH8mbyDWQ
It would mean the world to me if you would like, subscribe leave a review and/or share with a friend if you enjoyed this episode! Please find me on Instagram, tag me, comment, or DM me. Let me know what you enjoyed and what you’d like to hear next. I love hearing from you!
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XO, Alexis Schmoker
Mama of the Wild Crew
📸: A heartfelt thank you to Jordan Allen of Cr00ked Teeth Photography for capturing this stunning cover photo.
Welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast, the podcast where we embrace the messy, wild, beautiful journey of motherhood together. I'm your host, alexa Schmoker, mama of two beautiful kiddos, wife, nurse and lover of Jesus. Motherhood is full of hard moments, unexpected chaos and those days where you just really don't have it all together. But in the midst of it all there is so much joy. On this podcast, we're diving into the real, honest conversations about motherhood the challenges, the triumphs and everything in between. We'll hear the stories of incredible moms from all walks of life, share wisdom, laughter and let's be real probably a few tears, and we're going to discover how to embrace the joy in this chaos. So, whether you're rocking a baby to sleep, folding that never-ending pile of laundry or sneaking away for a quiet moment with your coffee, welcome mama. You're not alone here. Hit, subscribe and join me on this wild adventure of motherhood. I can't wait to do this journey with you. Hey there, wild crew mamas, and welcome back.
Speaker 1:Today I have the most special guest joining me, someone whose heart for family resilience and real-life experience I know will inspire so many of you. My sweet friend, lisa Hutchinson is a proud mother to her son Bladen, a dedicated nurse who has spent nearly a decade caring for others. That's a long time, lisa, and a woman with an incredible story of perseverance, faith and growth. Lisa's journey hasn of perseverance, faith and growth. Lisa's journey hasn't always been easy, from balancing motherhood at a young age to navigating ups and downs of her faith, mental health battles and a career burnout. But through it all she's continued to show up, survive and raise a respectful, kind young man along the way. Today we're diving into motherhood, mental health, faith and even dreams of where life might take. Lisa next. Lisa, my beautiful friend, my amazing friend, I am so honored to have you here and excited for you to share your beautiful heart with listeners.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for having me. Well, my name is Lisa. I have been a nurse for a while, quite some time, and then I live in a small town called Chelsea. I have a son named Bladen. He is 14. He is wild. He's good, but he's wild. He is very devoted to his FFA. He's so obsessed with it, which makes me sad, because he was so into sports and now he's not. I'm like, oh, heart crushing.
Speaker 1:And FFA for those who are not from Oklahoma, is Future Farmers of America. Yes, my sisters and my mom. Yeah, both in FFA, all in.
Speaker 2:FFA yes, he loves it. He shows animals and then he does auctioneering, which is so different because I grew up around auctions and I hated it so much.
Speaker 1:But he loves it Really.
Speaker 2:He loves it.
Speaker 1:So he said he like talks real fast.
Speaker 2:He's learning more and more, like he's been doing auctions and it's like getting better, but it was yeah, he's.
Speaker 1:Can you give us an example of what an auction would sound like?
Speaker 2:so it's. So if you're like you know about to be selling something, you're like one one, one, two, two, two, three, three, three, and you keep going up and people are bidding on it.
Speaker 2:so that's how that would go. Okay, obviously I'm not good at it, but it but he's getting better at it. So you know, you just sell things at the auctions, but yeah. So it's very unique and you know, he is obviously dear, dear to me. I love him, even though he can be a little ornery and just himself. I guess I think my mom would say that he's a lot like me and I'm like, no, like no, no, no, I wasn't like that but your mom definitely knows.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and you're the. You're the youngest of four.
Speaker 2:Four oh, okay three girls. Yeah, there's three of us girls and a boy, yeah, okay and your family lives fairly. Your parents live yeah, my parents just live like 10 minutes from me by Oolagall Lake, and then my sister Natasha lives just like five minutes from me, and then my brother Jacob lives literally right beside my parents.
Speaker 1:You do not get away.
Speaker 2:And then my oldest sister, miranda. Um, she lives off in New Mexico. Like whenever she got out of school she went to the military and then she met her husband and they've just always been out there doing their thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nice. So, lisa, as moms, you know we're, we're moms together. So you know this about me. But we tend to be our own worst critics. We can be absolutely crushing it, and one little mom fail can have us questioning everything. So, in the spirit of keeping it real, what is your cringiest, most mom fail? You know, the one that still makes you laugh or maybe cry when you think about it.
Speaker 2:Um. So growing up, we were always raised to eat everything on our plate. So Bladen was like six or seven and we were out to eat at a restaurant, just him and I, and, um, he had ordered rice and something else. And I told him. Well, he took a bite of his rice and he said that it wasn't good and there was something wrong with it. And I was like no, you're going to eat all your food, like you're not going to waste it. So he ate all of his food and then 10 minutes later vomit everywhere on the table and even to this day, he does not live it down. Like he will tell me about it whenever he eats something. He's like this isn't good. I'm like okay, and he's like remember when you made me eat all the rice?
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh yeah, you're like, I do remember that and I have something similar to. Okay, so my youngest sister, avery, she is 10 years younger than me, and so we went to sushi and I love sushi and she does not like venture out a whole lot on food and she, like I said, she's 10 years younger than me, so I was probably 16. She was six and I made her try a California roll, like a piece of sushi, and she did not want to do it and forced her to and same thing, like I mean not 10 minutes later just vomit, and I was like what is wrong? And she's like I just kept thinking about it and I like could think about it, like in my stomach and in my mouth and like I just couldn't handle it. And still to this day, like we'll still go to that same restaurant. It's Akira and Amasa is so good. I love Akira, yeah, um, but she's not she. So she goes there and she gets the chicken, but she's like I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I feel that cause I forced, I forced her to do it, like I was honestly getting a little irritated that she wouldn't try it Right.
Speaker 2:I thought it was blatantly no, you're eating all that rice, yeah, no, no, something was wrong. Yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I get it, yeah, oh. So, lisa, you shared blatant is your saving grace and a big part of your journey, obviously, like a huge part of your journey. Looking back now, how do you think becoming a mom at 18 shaped the woman you are today in ways you maybe didn't realize until recently?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a really good Um. So it has changed me in every way possible. I, whenever I was 18 and I had him, I did not make the best choices at all. Um, I was a bit of a partier and I was just wild and I knew I had a kid at home. But you know, it's easier to go to work and then hang out with friends and try to decompress and then go home and, um, I feel like him coming into my life at 18 made me. It took a, it took a couple of years, like I'm not going to lie, like it wasn't an easy start for him and I, because I just didn't make all the best choices. But, um, I feel like him, like me having him at 18, just growing up together and literally like growing together. I was a child then and so is he, and it has definitely made me more resilient to things. It has made me look at him as a just I was like oh, I just totally got it.
Speaker 2:I was reading the question, I was like, oh no, anyways was like reading the question, I was like, oh no, anyways, don't worry about that, if you miss I'll ask you. I just totally paused, I'm like. I was like it was my answer it made me look at him like he was yeah, so, just start.
Speaker 2:And it made me look at him like he was yeah, so to start, like so. And it made me look at him like as like it was hard to be a kid and raising a kid and, um, trying to, I'm so off topic, I'm so, I'm trying to, I can't. I'm so off topic. No, um, any Anyway, oh gosh, what's this? Don't Do you?
Speaker 1:want to start all over. Yes, Can we just start? I'm so sorry. So, Lisa, as moms, we're moms together. So you know this about me, but we tend to be our own worst critics. We can be absolutely crushing it, and one little mom fail can have us questioning everything. So, in the spirit of keeping it real, what is your cringiest, most mom fail? You know, the one that still makes you laugh or maybe cry when you think about it.
Speaker 2:Um. So, growing up we were always raised to eat everything on our plate. So Bladen was like six or seven and we were out to eat at a restaurant, just him and I, and he had ordered rice and something else. And I told him. Well, he took a bite of his rice and he said that it wasn't good and there was something wrong with it. And I was like no, you're going to eat all your food, like you're not going to waste it. So he ate all of his food and then 10 minutes later vomit everywhere on the table and even to this day he does not live it down. Like he will tell me about it whenever he eats something. He's like this isn't good. I'm like okay, and he's like remember when you made me eat all the rice.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh yeah, you're like, I do remember that and I have something similar to. Okay. So my youngest sister, avery, she is 10 years younger than me and so we went to sushi and I love sushi and she does not like venture out a whole lot on food and she, like I said, she's 10 years younger than me, so I was probably 16. She was six and I made her try in California roll like a piece of sushi, and she did not want to do it and I forced her to and same thing, like I mean not 10 minutes later just vomit, and I was like what is wrong? And she was like I just kept thinking about it and I like could think about it like in my stomach and in my mouth, and like I just couldn't handle it. And still to this day, like we'll still go to that same restaurant. It's Akira in Amasa. It's so good. I love Akira, yeah, but she's like I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I feel that because I forced her to do it.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I was honestly getting a little irritated that she wouldn't try it Right.
Speaker 2:I thought it was just blatantly no, you're eating all that rice. Yeah, no, yeah, something was wrong. Yeah, no, I get it, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, lisa, you shared blatant is your saving grace and a big part of your journey, obviously like a huge part of your journey.
Speaker 2:Looking back now, how do you think becoming a mom at 18 shaped the woman you are today in ways you maybe didn't realize until recently. Oh, that's a really good. So it has changed me in every way possible. I, whenever I was 18 and I had him, I did not make the best choices at all. Um, I was a bit of a partier and I was just wild and I knew I had a kid at home.
Speaker 2:But you know, it's easier to go to work and then hang out with friends and try to decompress and then go home and, um, I feel like him coming into my life at 18 made me it took a, it took a couple of years, like I'm not going to lie, like it wasn't an easy start for him and I cause I just didn't make all the best choices, but, um, I just didn't make all the best choices, but, um, I feel like him, like me having him at 18, just growing up together and literally like growing up together. I was a child then and so we'd see and, um, it has definitely made me more resilient to things. Um, it has made me look at um him as a just oh, I don't even know like, oh, yeah, um, I was like, oh, my god yeah reading the question, I was like oh, I just totally got it.
Speaker 1:Yeah reading the question.
Speaker 2:I was like oh no, anyways, um, just yeah, don't worry about that, if you miss them I'll, I'll ask you. Okay, yeah, um, I just like pause. I'm like I was like it was my answer, right. It made me look at him like he was yeah, so to start. So it made me look at him like as a like it was hard to be a kid and raising a kid and trying to. I'm so off topic I'm so I'm trying to. I can't.
Speaker 1:No, you're fine, I'm so off topic.
Speaker 2:No, anyway, oh gosh Plus it's I'm trying to.
Speaker 1:I can't.
Speaker 2:I'm so off topic no Um and you oh gosh, you want to start all over.
Speaker 1:Yes, can we just start. I'm so sorry, okay. So, lisa, you have the sweetest little nieces and nephews. You have such a special bond with your nieces and nephews and they've taught you so much about life. Um, can you share a moment with one of them that really changed your perspective on something important.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, I mean, I have several nieces and nephews and I love them all dearly so much I don't know if I can just choose one Right. Let's try to think so. My nieces and nephews that I have are Gus and Gentry and Tiger and Jetta. Gus and Gentry they live locally and they are great. They are both like graduated from high school. Gus has his own career and he has his own business and he has the two sweetest little girls ever at home, renly and Ruthie. Renly was born with extra sweetness and she just has some challenges in life that she has conquered so far in her life. She's four and she is so resilient she can do anything that she sets her little mind to. She is getting stronger every day. She is making big improvements in her physical ability. She is the smartest little girl. She loves cotton candy.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love cotton candy too um, she, she's just amazing.
Speaker 2:And she goes to the little lighthouse in um, tulsa, which is a great place. If you want to support the little lighthouse, definitely do that. Um, she loves it there. It's her favorite place in the whole wide world. She has little friends there and the teachers are amazing to her. Um, she just loves it.
Speaker 2:And she has shaped me so much too because I even though she can't voice it, but I believe she has so much faith because of her mom. Like her mom, cassidy has the biggest faith that I know that she is always fighting for Renly in every way. She is always there praying for her and for Ruthie, her little sister. Um, cassidy is amazing, I'm in. Her faith is so great for her whole family. Um, she just keeps them going by. Her faith and all of her prayers, um, and then Renly's little sister, ruthly. She's ruthless, she's ruthless, she, she, she will keep you on your toes, for sure she will. She loves everything. She just loves Minnie Mouse, oh yeah, and picking flowers, and she Will, just like, she'll, keep you young. She, she is just great, she's great. So that's Gus's little family.
Speaker 2:And then my niece, gentry. She is wild. She is so uniquely herself. I could never be that way, just going and doing without a care in the world, and that's what she does every day. She does not care what anyone thinks, and I love that about her so much like I envy that in her um. And then like tiger and jetta tiger, he just started a little family, just had a little boy yes, him and his wife bella. And um, he's out there welding in New Mexico just doing the best ever, just thriving like no one's business, and so I'm so proud of him. And then his sister, jetta. She lives in Texas and she's just living her best life. She's just out there working, living, doing what she wants to do, and I mean, I couldn't be more proud of her too. They're just amazing. I feel like my nieces and nephews just have shaped me so much. I am like so proud to be an aunt. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So much and like her's the best. Yes, I love it.
Speaker 2:And then I have Lincoln. That is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, kimberly's son, and he is amazing. I don't get to see him that often because they live in Kansas, but whenever I do it's just like any other time. You know, and whenever I talk to Kimberly and like we FaceTime and he's there, it's just, he's so sweet, yeah. It's the sweetest thing and you know just that bond that you have with, like your best friend's kid. It's just that bond that you have with like your best friend's kid.
Speaker 1:It's just so different. It's so different. Yeah, it's so exciting. Like to see your friends come into motherhood and meet their kids. Very much so. It's just the sweetest.
Speaker 2:And then there's one more that I, his name's Declan, and it's a weird situation, cause my people that used to be in Bladen's life, um, that used to be like grandparents to him. It's their son's son that we are still so close to and we love being around them. Well, declan, I get to watch him here and there, and then his dad coaches and, um, his mom is amazing. She, um, I think she just sort of like changed from like Grand Lake to um, working with the Indian nation, but, um, she um works. Oh gosh, I don't remember what it is, but that's okay.
Speaker 2:Um, so she just switched jobs and she's amazing. Her name's Destiny and she is like the best mom ever. She's had like a lot of heart conditions growing up and so she wasn't even sure if she would have kids and so, um, having Declan is like their world and he is great. He is so stinking smart, he is evil and he, um, he's just amazing. He is absolutely the sweetest thing and gives the best hugs and just uniquely himself, and will just come and just be who he is.
Speaker 2:He's just amazing I love that so those are my nieces and nephews and I feel like they have really shaped everything about me. I feel like being an aunt is like I love being a mom, obviously, but being an aunt's just different and it's just a different relationship you have and it just makes you I think it just makes you grow more as a person, it makes you even more loving and caring and it's just. It's just a great feeling being an aunt.
Speaker 1:Everything about it. It is. It is a great feeling. So you were an aunt before you had Bladen too, though.
Speaker 2:You were young, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like being an aunt after being a mom is different?
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, I mean, whenever I was an aunt before Bladen I was still in high school and I would like watch my nieces and nephew, um, but it was just different. It was just like right, I feel like after having a son, and like being a mother for a while, um, it has made me love all those moments even more, like cherish them even more, right like now, I don't want to miss out on anything, I want to be there, yeah, yeah, it's definitely made me just want to be more involved and, yeah, watch them grow.
Speaker 1:It's so sweet, it is Well, Lisa, we just kind of shared. You had Bladen fairly young you were 18, right so you've shared with me that Bladen is your saving grace and just such the pivotal part of your journey. Looking back, how do you think becoming a mom at 18 has shaped the woman that you are today in many ways that maybe you didn't realize until recently?
Speaker 2:Gosh, having a child whenever you're 18, you're a kid yourself. You have no business having a kid at 18. Yeah, sometimes things just happen, you know, and so choices are made and you have a kid now and you know, I am so, so grateful for him and I think if I had a child whenever I was older, I don't think I would have survived being 18, 19, 20. I think I would have been too wild and done even worse things than I probably did. And so him being there really made me grow up, but it took some time. I did not grow up immediately Like, yes, I was his mom, yes, I financially supported him, but I think, a lot more emotionally, I probably wasn't there because I was working all the time and then, whenever I wasn't working, I was, you know, going out with friends and trying to um, like relieve stress and um, I wasn't, you know, and I will admit a hundred percent, I was not the best mom at first and I think that has helped me grow so much now because I look back and he had so many people that were there and loving him and supporting him and just being that void that I wasn't there and like that's sometimes hard to like look back on, because I always thought that you know I was, you know I was his mom and I mean I am his mom, but like it was just I thought I was doing the best I could at that time, and maybe I was, but now it's like I probably could have made better choices and been there more for him.
Speaker 2:But you know, being 18, it's hard because you don't your. Your mind is still trying to grow, your mind is still trying to develop, and so then you have this child there that's wanting your attention and you don't really know how long time to realize that. Until probably two years ago, whenever I started going into therapy and really digging deep about things therapy and really digging deep about things Um, I think I've kind of put some of my traumas and depression onto him, which is, you know, hard to like hear, but I think it just keeps making me grow.
Speaker 2:Um, it definitely um has been a journey trying to um and trying to be, you know, a young mom, and a single mom at that, because his dad's never been in the picture, Like he chose not to be and then he made bad choices, and it's just. You know it's hard, but I think, you know, whenever you have faith in God, he's always there for you, even when you don't realize it, because I don't think I, whenever I was 18, 19, and 20, I didn't think God was there and that's why I was being wild and doing what I wanted to do and not making the best choices for both of us. But I know now that God was there the whole time, because if he wasn't I would be gone and dead somewhere. There's no way that I would have survived that without him and I think that's just from having faith as a like, you know, as a child, and like learning about God and knowing. And then, even though I veered off from him, um, he was definitely still there and helping me through everything.
Speaker 2:And I don't go to church every Sunday, but I feel like I'm a very faithful person. I feel like I am a Christian. I don't say like I'm a Baptist or Methodist because I don't feel like I am, that I just feel like God and I have our own relationship and we talk and he knows my heart as it is and he just wants me to do better. He doesn't want me to follow the devil, but the devil is so tempting sometimes and it's hard to fight against it. But you know god's just there and like he's definitely helped me through everything, um, even you know bad choices I've made, um yeah, just constantly pursuing you yeah, yeah, yeah, after you, even when, when you don't feel it, it's just our.
Speaker 1:Our preacher it was just last week he said um like why do we sin? And everyone was like, oh, I don't know. And he was like because it's fun, like we wouldn't sin if it wasn't fun. And then he said if it's not fun, then you're not.
Speaker 1:You're not doing it right like you're not sitting right, and I was like that's such a unique perspective, though, too, like we're, we're human and we are gonna sin. Obviously, we want to try to not to, but, like god, continuously pursuing us even through our sins, and it's the god that loves us unconditionally, no matter what, like he's not a god of conditions. So I think that's beautiful and it's it's so like nice to hear you talk, because we've been friends for how long now, like nine.
Speaker 1:I think, almost nine years, which that's crazy, but I, like, have always looked at you as you've always been an amazing mom, but such an amazing mom like a mom that I look up to, because everyone, like you, said you're a single mom, but you are. You are mom, dad.
Speaker 1:Everyone like to blade in, you know, and you have always shown to be that way You've already shown to be, like always shown to be that way, and so like even hearing you talk about, like whenever you felt like you were having shortcomings as a mom, like it's hard for me to even think that of you or see that in you, or anything like that, because I've never seen that side of you. Yeah, I guess you know. So it's just like.
Speaker 2:I think we hide it really good. I think whenever you have those shortcomings and you are like, you know you have a child and you have to be that strong person. You know you fall apart whenever you're alone and you have all of these negative thoughts about everything because you want your child to grow up to be successful and perfect and great, and that's not life right, that is not life, not at all.
Speaker 2:And it's really hard to realize that, it's hard to think that you can't be everything you know for your child, because that's just not how life is and God didn't want that. You know everyone has to make their own way. You know he says you know he's there and you can follow him. If you don't follow him, he's not mad at you. You know that's your choice. He gives everyone that choice. And um, the devil's just so tempting, he is so tempting. He's always there trying to be tempting yeah of brings in.
Speaker 1:I wanted to talk to you about, too. You've always been really open about your mental health. You just kind of said that you went through therapy and you're still going to therapy I'm currently not because, well, you went to therapy.
Speaker 1:You're open about your mental health and regrets you carry from Bladen's early years kind of like you shared. How has your faith been both a lifeline and a battleground. When you think of everything that you've walked through, you know the struggles, the temptations, the healing. What has that forgiveness looked like, both for yourself, both to yourself yourself forgiving yourself and the forgiveness from god?
Speaker 2:um, you know, it's just I, like my best friend, um, she, whenever I'm having a struggle, I will call her and we will talk it out and I'm like, oh, I just can't do this, I just cannot do this another day. And she's like, well, have you prayed? Have you prayed? She's not really big on the praying type. You know she believes in God, but she's just had her own struggles and a lot of heartbreak and pain and just unforgiving torture in her life. And for her to be like, well, have you prayed about Cause? She knows that that is something I do. She knows that that is something that's going to make me feel better. She knows that's something that um is going to help me get through the um difficult time I'm going through.
Speaker 2:Uh, and so it's just, it's a battle. It's a battle every single day to get up and survive. Because I mean, if you know me and you know you're my family or people that might just think they know me. Well, I try to be a smile, I try to be a very positive person, like I can be negative I mean, who can't be negative? But like I try to be. I try to be smiley and, you know just, happy whenever I'm around people, but whenever it's hard, like I even have to take medication for depression and anxiety just to um even out those neurons in my brain, you know cause sometimes you just have to and that's okay. It's okay to take that stuff, um, but I struggled for a long time with um suicidal ideation, a long, long time, and it has only been, you know, the last few years that I didn't wake up every day and just have to decide what I was going to do next, like, am I going to live?
Speaker 2:Am I going to get up and be productive today and make it through the day, or is this the day that I hopefully, you know, go to heaven? Or you know, if you know, if I did something to myself, you know I can't go to heaven Cause I was. I always believed that. You know, if you commit a suicide, like you know that's, you can't take your own life. God doesn't want you to take your own life, but it's a hard struggle, like whenever you have those intrusive thoughts and um, even just like driving, I would just be like, well, if I just drive over here or drive off the road, like it'll be okay, like you know, blayden can go and um, you know, like live with my parents or live with my sister, because it would just be better for him, um, because I just that depression and that um just fear of um failing him. You know, like raising him and not having like both parents there and just not being everything that he needs um would be a struggle and so it took a long and so it took a long time. It took a long time to feel better with that.
Speaker 2:If I still have days that are rough, I still have times that I struggle through that, but I have a super amazing best friend that helps me get through it every time like I can call her whenever, whenever I'm having a bad time, but I also don't think it makes me a bad mom. I think it makes me, um, very, uh, just different. Like I don't even know if difference the word, but it just because I know Blayden struggles with things. So it just kind of it's just yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just. You know it can be hard, but you know you keep going through and I feel like if you're going through a rough time, I mean you can make it through. Like it's hard to have support out there because it's hard to be vulnerable to people.
Speaker 2:People kind of look down on mental health too, like, oh, it's, it's, you know you're something's wrong with you, but there's nothing wrong, it's. Things happen like that's. You know the devil's there and he is trying to make you feel like you are not worthy of something. And he can persuade you in so many ways. And you know, I think if you have faith and you have that relationship with God, even whenever you are hurting and you are barely surviving, I think you know, if you just sit there and talk to Him just like a normal conversation, it might sound crazy like you're in your room talking to someone, but that's all he wants. He just wants you to talk to him just like a normal conversation. It might sound crazy Like you're in your room talking to someone, but that's all he wants. He just wants you to talk to him and just tell him all of your worries and all of your struggles so he can be there, even though he already knows him, he wants to hear it from you. You know he wants to hear you say it.
Speaker 2:And so I always forget. I forget it sometimes whenever I I'm down on myself or I'm just having that mental break. I forget, and so I'm just very thankful that I have a friend that can remind me, like, hey, just talk to him, just pray it out, just have him help you even though she's a great help too, but it all comes back down to god he's the only one that can help you get through things how you need to. You know he's the only one that's gonna make you feel internally better. Right, and that's how you have to start. You have to internally start feeling better and then it just works this way out because people can put on a show and like I feel like I've done that for a long time, just whenever I'm just out and about or around people, you know I just make sure that they know that I'm here and I'm okay, but deep down, you know, I'm like barely surviving. So that's hard, but you know, each day gets better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Oh, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, yeah it is. It's so hard and I recently heard I can't remember who it was but they said like ask him in, like say out loud like holy spirit, come, I want you in here with me like I want you to be here with me, like I want to feel you here with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you said, talking out loud to him. Um, what are some things that you would recommend to someone that's feeling that way? Like you said, just pray out loud, talk to him like a conversation. Is there anything else? Having a support system, having a friend?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, and then if you do, if you're able to go to therapy, it's great. I feel like it helped me out in so many ways. But it did open up trauma that I wasn't. It's. Like you know, whenever you have trauma, things that happened when you were younger and you just kind of push that out of your mind, it can really open up doors that you weren't didn't know were there, and so it can be scary and but it can be amazing too, because you can see where the root of the problem is. So I think therapy is a great thing. Um, I'm just not the most consistent person.
Speaker 1:I feel you, I'm a hard follow through person. I said that before on here. Like I have great intentions, and if it's for my kids, if it's for my husbands, my husbands.
Speaker 2:Like I, have multiple of them For my husband.
Speaker 1:Yes, like I'm excellent, like I'll set the doctor's appointments, I'll make sure they're there. I'll probably be there too. When it comes to myself, like I'm not great about that and I need to be.
Speaker 2:It's that follow through and that's taking care of yourself. Maybe it's a nurse thing too, or bad patients. Yeah, we're so good about taking care of everyone else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it can be so hard and then, like you said, with medication too, like you go to a doctor, like see a doctor.
Speaker 2:And not one medication is going to be the same for everyone. I have had to go through several different ones and one would work for a long time and then I would just it would just didn't feel like it was working and so it had to change it. And then some just make you feel yucky. You're like, oh, that's not going to work either, and it's okay to like change things around. It's okay if something doesn't work for one person. I mean, that's why we're all made differently. He did not make us the same in any way, right, because that's not how he is, and so medications aren't going to work the same for anyone.
Speaker 1:You know right and it's not the answer for everyone, but I don't ever want someone to feel like like you're sin, I mean, I guess saying I guess I'd say sinning like for taking medication, because that's not the truth yeah, um so, and it's not something to be ashamed about.
Speaker 2:It's not like taking medication, but I feel like people see it and they're like, oh, this is a like a mental medication, like it is, but it's okay, like you have to take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:You have high blood pressure you take you know anti-hypertensive medication, yeah, so I think people struggle with you know antihypertensive medication.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think people struggle with you know asking for that help or just even you know putting it out there, because they're afraid of the judgment. But you know.
Speaker 1:On the flip side, what would you say to someone who maybe has someone in their life that struggles with mental health? How is the best way that they can support that person?
Speaker 2:Just talking to them really. I mean, it's hard because the person that's struggling they're not going to admit it until they're ready, they're not going to admit that something's wrong. They're not going to come out and be like, oh yeah, well, I am struggling like this because that's just not how it works. It's not, you don't want to talk about it. You don't want to talk about it because you are struggling. But then it's like embarrassing to you because you're like why am I struggling whenever there's people out there that are struggling 10 times worse?
Speaker 2:But I think everyone's struggle is so hard for them. Like you know, god puts stuff in front of us and like everyone's, trials and tribulations are like different. You know it's not no one's the same. And so the strength he gives to one person, they might be able to fight a fire, but the strength they give to someone else, you know they can only grow a garden, but that person that fights the fire cannot grow that garden. And so you know it's just. Everyone is so different.
Speaker 2:And so if you sit there and struggling so hard mentally, you're not going to just go out there and tell people you're not going to, you're going to keep it to yourself and until it's too much. You're going to keep it to yourself until it's too much, until it's just the worst thing that's happening to you and your struggle you're having is important. It doesn't matter how little you think it is or how big you think someone might think it is. That's your struggle and it's there, and God gives you the strength to fight things. But it's hard whenever the devil's sitting there and tempting you. It's just difficult, and so I don't. I think you know just try to find someone that you trust and don't be afraid to talk to them.
Speaker 2:Like but don't push someone. If someone says they're okay, just be like okay, and then maybe check on them here and there, but don't, don't push it, because if they're not ready, then they're never going to trust you because they're going to think that you're being intrusive. Right, you know, you have to, you have to be it. You have to go at it easily.
Speaker 1:You can't just force your way. Yeah, kind of let them know.
Speaker 2:I guess that you're open to talk yeah, just like you know I'm here, just kind of just remind them like I'm here, you know. If you need anything, just you know you can talk to me and just don't just say that and then go on like check on them again so they know it's just. Whenever people are struggling mentally, I feel like they need that validation that it is okay to talk to you like you know you have. You have to be consistent, you know, but not too consistent. Like you know, not every single day.
Speaker 2:Like every couple days or you know. But if you feel like they're struggling and they're like on that verge, then just be there physically for them, like be present, like show up at their house. Yeah, like be there, don't just like like avoid it, you know, just if you feel like they're struggling, that bad, yeah, be present. Yeah, be up in their business, be up in their business.
Speaker 1:No, I feel that I mean I've shared with everyone on here too, that I've, like, had anxiety on and off throughout my life, or struggled with anxiety on and off throughout my life, so I can understand that and it's so hard whenever you kind of get in those spirals.
Speaker 1:Like now. I have like really, I think, honed in on what helps me get out of those spirals or stop them whenever I recognize them coming on. But it has not always been that way and so I feel like kind of teenage years, young adult years, like I really would struggle and get spiraled in and kind of like you're saying, like I think that I hit it well Sometimes maybe some people would be like I don't think so, honey, but yeah, so that can be difficult and I had to get on medication and to where I could feel get myself together. But mine's so situational too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And maybe some people have that, maybe some people don't, but like I know, like whenever I'm in certain situations, that's when I get anxious, and so I avoid those.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hard Like not happening, I know Like even working through COVID was something.
Speaker 1:I mean, you worked through COVID was something that really got me Like working in the ER and seeing all that horrible stuff and like I used to love, like Grey's Anatomy and you know all the things I don't even watch it. I stopped watching them and I have not watched like a medical show since then.
Speaker 2:It's like a trigger for you.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that used to be like my jam, yeah, so things can change so fast, so fast, and I think it's also like recognizing those things and making that change too. So like, maybe, if you're, if you find something that does like trigger you or send you into those kind of spirals, like stay away from it, yeah, or tell someone that, and sometimes, if you're feeling weak and you're starting to do that, like have that accountability partner kind of like you're talking about, to say like eh, not a good idea yeah.
Speaker 1:Like we're not going to do that, right? Yeah, so that was really. And that beautiful analogy you said about the fire in the garden, I loved that. That was so sweet, okay, so you kind of said a little bit that Blayden's had his own struggles. So mental health, especially for mothers and teenagers, is something that you've lived, you felt, you've carried so deeply with you. I would love for you to share a little bit about your journey, for you and Blayden. When you think of your own journey the hard days, the silent battles, everything you've seen as a mom and a nurse when you think of your own journey the hard days, the silent battles, everything you've seen as a mom and a nurse if you could change one thing about how the world understands or supports mental health, what would you want to change and what do you wish more people knew about? The daily reality behind the smiles and the strong faces?
Speaker 2:Um, you know, just, I feel like, whenever COVID came around, you know it was a struggle and you know people couldn't be there for their loved ones and, um, I think it takes a toll on people, even if it doesn't matter the setting. You were in. I think anything medical that you were in during COVID, um, you just seen all you know all sorts of things. People were dying, people are just sick and they couldn't have, um, like their loved ones there, you know, to support them and be present and just love them and care of them, Cause that's all we want in life is someone to love us and care for us and, you know, nurse us back to health whenever we're not feeling well. Um, so, you know it's that has definitely changed a lot of things and I feel like at some point it made me like mentally weak, but then over time it has made me more stronger in that aspect, like it has made me, with the patients, just understanding why they want their family there all the time, even if it doesn't feel convenient for you. You know you're like, yeah, just working back. Yeah, yes, very much so.
Speaker 2:But you know, during COVID I worked a lot, which I feel like this is a common thing. I say I work a lot, but I mean whenever you are just you and your son, you know you have the support and life is not cheap. It's so not cheap. And so he does all the things. He does everything, everything. And so, you know, during COVID he stayed a lot with my parents and my sister and brother-in-law and so I feel like during that time there was a lot of mental strain, because mental strain because I wasn't, you know there a lot, and so we would just like really talk on the phone because I wouldn't go and pick him up, like he would stay wherever he was staying whenever I'd work my days because I didn't want to expose him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exposure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't want to be there and you know, give him anything. So you know we were apart for a lot at that time and you know give him anything. So, um, you know we were apart for a lot at that time and I feel like, um, you know, we kind of um, you know, mentally it was just like a challenge, um, and so I don't know Um, yeah, and then from there though you guys traveled.
Speaker 2:Yes, we did. We traveled, um. We went to Wisconsin and South Dakota and it was just him and I, and so whenever I would go and work my shifts which were just like eight hour shifts, um, he would stay where we were living at that time and do homeschooling, which we loved traveling. It was a great experience. I feel like I learned so much and I feel like we needed that break. I feel like we needed to get out and go and be away from everyone, um, and just try to find what we needed in life, because I feel like we were stuck and nothing was going the way that we wanted it to, and so I think we needed to get away from just Oklahoma and get away from people and just be us. Whenever we first started, that's how I was feeling. I was like we just need to get away, like we've got to be away from everyone Well and you went through a hard loss during COVID.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so that really initiated us leaving and going traveling and me working. Um was that loss, um, after um Lacey passed away. It was just, she passed away in August and I started traveling, now October, and so, um, you know, that was a very hard loss and very devastating and it was just I feel like it's something that could have been avoided, you know. But you know I can't. I mean I say that but then that's whatever. Me and God have struggles because it's all on his time. You know everything happens how he wants it to happen, but then you know it's hard to understand it sometimes. You know, like we don't want people to pass away that still has a whole life in front of them and kids to raise, and you know, so I struggle with that, sometimes still like to. You know why this happened, why all that happened.
Speaker 2:And so me and God still have a little conflict on that.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, you're still working through that. So you know, we started traveling and you know I felt like getting away was the best thing for us and at first it was, but then, whenever we isolated ourselves from everyone, it was rough, it was hard. You know, blayden did not want to do his work, it was just a struggle because we weren't around everyone that we, you know he grew up around. I literally stripped him from everything because I thought that's what we needed. And you know, at the end I think we had great experiences and we got to do so many things and see so many things. But I think I kind of um messed up, you know, taking him away from everyone, because I think as a kid he still needed to have that socialism. You know, being out and being with people and talking. Because whenever I put him back in public schools, it has been a struggle, Because he is so good to talk to adults, he can go and talk to adults all day long. Sometimes he gets too nosy because he thinks he could be an adult, but he's not quite there yet. But you know, I feel like I, you know, put him in that situation because I thought we needed to leave and so coming back into public schools and the struggle of talking to kids and being friends with kids and trying to like get back in that groove of hanging out with them and talking as kids and being friends with kids and trying to like get back in that groove of hanging out with them and talking as kids. You know, um has been a huge struggle because kids are not nice, you know, and it's just. And even you know I know Blaine has his struggles. Um, you know he's not perfect. No, I know kid is perfect. You know's not perfect. No, I know kid is perfect, you know, and they make mistakes just like everyone else. But, um, I feel like him going back there and just trying to socialize and be back in, like you know the clicks and the grooves and you know, being a part of, you know, kids.
Speaker 2:Um has been such a struggle for him because kids are not so accepting, you know, coming back in, and so he's struggled, you know, mentally with that and just, we've had our, you know, ups and downs and he started in therapy for a little bit for a real consistent um and then, you know, life happened and he got busy with like sports and stuff and then, um, it was things weren't lining up and then, um, we had a big thing happen this last november, um, where you know, bullying just happens and bladen just wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He was just very depressed because kids are just not nice nature Not all the time, but sometimes they are. So we got him in with a psychologist and therapy now and it's been a lot of change, because he felt like he couldn't talk to me. He felt like I wasn't listening to him. Um, and it took a big thing happening at school, um, for me to see that that I wasn't, that I was just going through the motions, um, every day and I wasn't being there emotionally for him again, which is, you know, it's just a struggle, it's so back and forth but, um, it's, you know, and you know it's just. I think it's just part of it. It's part of being a mom and like, whenever you do get busy with life and then trying to raise a child that's of a different sex even too you know, like you don't know what they need and their emotional support that they need, like you can be loving, but then whenever you know you guys are bickering back and forth and just can't get on the same wavelength. Um, it can definitely be a struggle but as of now, bladen's doing a lot better and, um, you know, I think the therapy and everything has helped him a lot because, you know, I realized too that I wasn't listening to him and what was going on, and you know the anger he was feeling and you know he was just so angry at kids at school, um, because you know, no one's listening to him and they're just not as friendly, um, and I just wasn't hearing that and he would come home and just be mad and wouldn't listen and wouldn't do.
Speaker 2:And so after, you know, we figured out what was going on and, like, just you know, his anger wasn't towards me, it was just because he wasn't trying to be angry at school, he wasn't trying to be angry at these kids and he was just taking it all and not, you know it was a safe place, yeah yeah, and so I just, you know, it was like we were feeding off of each other a lot, um, because I would just be stressed from work and then he would just be mad coming home from school and then it was just on.
Speaker 2:You know, it was just like it was just not pretty and it was a struggle. But, um, you know, and it's not going to be perfect, it's. I'm not saying everything's great now, because tomorrow it could be a new day and we have the same struggles, and but I think it's okay, because I think we're learning each time. I think, you know, we learn this and we're just growing from it and each day is going to be better, because I just want him, I want him to be successful, I want him to be mentally okay and know that it's okay to have hard days, it's okay to have sad days, because everyone does and it's nothing to be ashamed about. You. It's okay to have sad days because everyone does and it's nothing to be ashamed about.
Speaker 2:You know, we're all here just trying to survive and we're just trying to make it through the day and be as happy as we can, because the ultimate goal is we won't get up to heaven.
Speaker 2:And so, you know, we just got to keep fighting for that, and I think all these temptations and all these negative things that happen is definitely just the devil fighting us. And I feel like the closer we get to God, the more the devil is sitting there pounding at our door right, like, hey, let me in, let me in. And then sometimes we open it because you know, we're just like, well, things are going good, like it's okay to let them in, but you know, and then that's when we have to start back over, because then we're like, oh, everything's falling apart again, but it's, it's really not. You know, it's okay to let them in, but you know, and then that's when we have to start back over, because then we're like, oh, everything's falling apart again, but it's really not. You know, it's just us falling for that temptation, and then we just have to pick it back up and then go start. You know, start back fresh, because God's there, he's not leaving us.
Speaker 1:You know he's like okay, you want to. Oh, I don't think so. Oh, I'll just send it to you. It's really good. And it kind of starts out saying like um, have you ever something? About like have you ever looked up at a night full of stars and like felt an aching in your heart and like felt like you don't belong here?
Speaker 1:um pretty much just because you don't like, you're made for heaven yeah, and it's really good, but it's kind of like yeah, I like it, I think you like it, like I'm gonna check that out I'll have to.
Speaker 1:I'll listen to you, you can listen to it on your ride home. Yes, yeah, oh, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, played in and you know, because I know that that's that's hard to share and be so vulnerable and I feel like hard to recognize things that you could do better. That's always hard in every situation, not just like in motherhood or just in life in general Like it's hard to like own those and confess. I guess is what I'm saying. I've been recently listening to well, I'm always listening to the Whoa that's Good podcast by Sadie Robertson, but she just had an episode about like confession with your friends and like having a group of friends that you like trust and you can honestly like go in and confess and talk about things. I was like, whoa, yeah, I cannot imagine doing that.
Speaker 2:No, is that so scary?
Speaker 1:Yes, I was like I bet that is so freeing.
Speaker 2:Right Cause I feel like you know whenever, if you do that, you're just like worried that people are going to start saying things, or are you talking about what was said, or you know gossiping or something.
Speaker 1:So I mean, obviously you like have to have discernment and people that you would trust to do that with.
Speaker 1:But I was like that's. I thought to myself like that's pretty cool, and then I just like went on about my day but I'm like, wait, maybe. Then I just like went on about my day but I'm like, wait, maybe I should start doing that for real, because I think, yeah, that would be awesome. You know, I grew up Catholic and so we went to confession, but that was scary to me, but I think this would still be scary, but in a different way.
Speaker 2:I've never done confession. I've never. I'm not a Catholic person.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh, I think it would be scary. I always thought it was was scary. Like I literally remember my first confession like what am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? I was like I fight with my sister yeah, that's all I do. I'm perfect, yeah, yeah no, but it is scary, but I'm like that would be so just like powerful and freeing.
Speaker 1:I think just yeah, talking through those things and getting them out, because with me too, like I said, I can get things like on the loop in my head yeah, too and I'm like I wonder sometimes I'll write them down to try and get them out, or like just say them out loud, or a lot of times I'll like tell jordan, you know, but just like having that confession, yeah just get it out and talk it out. Yeah, maybe get their opinion like yeah, how do you feel about this? Yeah, or someone that can speak like biblical truth into you too, because sometimes you just need that, that truth.
Speaker 2:Just reminders.
Speaker 1:Yeah, reminders, yeah, you always know like. You know that, like kind of like you were saying, like I know God is there and I know this, but the devil, you know he's founded. Yeah, you, okay. So you have mentioned feeling burnt out a little bit from nursing after COVID and you've had to make some changes. I feel that I obviously, too, got super burnt out with nursing after COVID, and if you're a nurse out there that felt burnt out after COVID, let us know. We'll talk about it, because it yeah, it was hard, but you said that you're dreaming about someday being a flight attendant. I didn't know that. Um, if you could give advice to someone out there feeling stuck or questioning their path, what would you tell them?
Speaker 2:Hmm, go for it. I mean I've been a nurse for going on nine, 10 years, something like that, so it's just um, go for it. I mean sometimes you need change and I keep thinking whenever Bladen graduates, um, I want to go to flight attendant school, which is um, like Delta, has one in, like Georgia or Alabama I've listened to it You're like I've already started my application. It's like hard to get into, but I mean, go for it. I mean, if you're burnt out and it's just not for you, it's not feeling right, you have to struggle to get up and go to work every day and you're just not happy there. I mean, find something, make a change, because it's not always.
Speaker 2:You know, just because you went to school and that was a career path you chose, you don't have to do it forever. Or maybe just don't do bedside. You know, try something different. There's so many different avenues you can go through. I mean there's home health, but just still technically bedside, if you're, like, you know, out in the community, but it's just different.
Speaker 2:You know you're out there just seeing one patient at a time and not having, you know, five, six, eight patients on your load that you have to be responsible for, and you know that's a big deal, and so I mean, but there's like there's so many different things you could do and, um, I don't. You know, just just don't. If you're not happy, don't stay, even if it's the same company, like I feel. People you know, even like the older generation, you know they're loyal, you know they feel like you have to stay, you have to be loyal to one thing, but people are not. It's just not like that. You know you have to do what's going to be best for you and your family and what's going to make you feel good about getting up every day, because if you're miserable, then your mental health is not going to be happy for you. It's going to be miserable too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah definitely, and I mean I definitely agree there's. There is something to be said about like hard work. We're not talking about being not working hard or being lazy that we are not talking about that.
Speaker 2:We are talking about.
Speaker 1:You are giving it your all every day, every day, all the time, and it is just. It's just struggle rough, yeah, and I've been there and you've been there, and so I get it, and it's scary to make a change. Yeah, um, but whenever I loved bedside and I'm not saying that I would never go back to bedside- yeah. But it was Jordan, my husband, that kind of put, I don't want to say put his foot down. That sounds firm, but said like I need you to hear me. Like you need to change jobs.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you are not happy and I can tell, and I did. And like, even whenever I did it, it was like I was so reluctant. Like it was like a toxic breakup or something, yeah, like a bad relationship like I knew I needed to, but I didn't want to.
Speaker 1:I loved it so much you know, and it's like once I pulled myself out of there and got away and like looked back I was like how was I living? Like that, like I don't know that I would say I was living. How was I surviving? Yeah, like that, because man and it don't know that I would say I was living. How was I surviving? Yeah, like that, because man and it's hard to, I mean you.
Speaker 2:I think you get in this routine every day of just getting up and going and doing the job um, and you know, doing the best you can at that job and then you just feel like that's all you can do, you can't change. You know you're like you're stuck here and this is all you can do, and but it's not. You know you can definitely make changes, but it's hard too and it's scary. It's scary to be somewhere and know that job like the back of your hand and you just can go there and just do the job every day and you're good at it.
Speaker 2:Yes, and you're good at it and you can just do it. And it's scary to change from that to something that you're not familiar with. That you have to learn all over again, even though, um, you know nursing, you know it's different everywhere. Everything's different. You know just different areas and so it's scary. It can be scary, but don't let that scare like make you not want to do it or make you veer off from it. You know, and even if you, you know change and you're like, yeah, this is not for me, I mean just what? If you leave somewhere, leave it in good terms.
Speaker 1:Don't just be like abrupt about things you know yeah, absolutely, because you always want to leave everything in good terms yeah definitely and where. If you love bedside and you're thinking about going into bedside, do that too. Don't let like our obviously we have been there too, like we're so on fire about bedside too.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I mean I still do bedside. I mean I do home health, and then twice a month on the weekends, you know, I do bedside, and so I'm not downing it for sure, like, obviously I'm still there, I'm still there, I'm still there, I mean, we've broken up, but we're still seeing each other yeah, we're just like broke up on the side and I just like go over it once in a while, you know but maybe they're not all the toxic all the time.
Speaker 2:You know, not an everyday toxic. You have your, your boundaries. Yes, yes, they're posted.
Speaker 1:They're there. Well, lisa, thank you so much for being here and sharing your heart so openly. You are so honest and your strength and your deep love for Bladen are such reminders of even through the hardest battles, there's always beauty and purpose waiting on the other side. I know your story will speak to so many mamas and women out there who are trying to navigate their own journeys. You are such a light, even on the days when you feel like you might not be, and we are all better for hearing your story today. I can't wait to see where God continues to lead you, and I'm cheering you on every step of the way. Thank you again for being a part of this wild crew family.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. It was great, it was.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Hey there, wild crew mamas, and welcome back. Today I have the most special guest joining me, someone whose heart for family resilience and real life experience I know will inspire so many of you. My sweet friend Lisa Hutchinson is a proud mother to her son Bladen. A dedicated nurse who has spent nearly a decade caring for others. That's a long time, lisa, and a woman with an incredible story of perseverance, faith and growth. Lisa's journey hasn't always been easy, from balancing motherhood at a young age to navigating ups and downs of her faith, mental health battles and a career burnout. But through it all she's continued to show up, survive and raise a respectful, kind young man along the way. Today we're diving into motherhood, mental health, faith and even dreams of where life might take Lisa next, lisa, my beautiful friend, my amazing friend. I am so honored to have you here and excited for you to share your beautiful heart with listeners.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for having me. Well, my name is Lisa. Um, I have been a nurse for a while, quite some time, um, and then I live in a small town called Chelsea. I have a son named Bladen. He is 14. He is wild. He's good, but he's wild. He is very devoted to his FFA. He's so obsessed with it, which makes me sad, because he was so into sports and now he's not. I'm like, oh, heart crushing.
Speaker 1:And FFA for those who are not from oblahoma is future farmers of america. Yes, my sisters and my mom. Yeah, both in ff, all in ffa yes, he loves it.
Speaker 2:He shows animals and then he does auctioneering, which is oh so different, because I grew up around auctions and I hated it so much, but he loves it Really. Loves it.
Speaker 1:So he said he like talks real fast.
Speaker 2:Well, he's learning more and more, Like he's been doing auctions and it's like getting better, but it was yeah.
Speaker 1:Can you give us an example of what an auction would sound like?
Speaker 2:So if you're like you, you know about to be selling something. You're like one one, one, two, two, two, three, three, three and you keep going up and people are bidding on it.
Speaker 2:So that's how that would go. Obviously I'm not good at it, but he's getting, he's getting better at it. So you know, you just sell things at the auctions, but yeah, so it's very unique and you know, he is obviously dear, dear to me. I love him, even though he can be a little ornery and just himself. I guess I think, um, my mom would say that he's a lot like me and I'm like no, no, no, I wasn't like that but your mom definitely knows oh yeah, and you're the.
Speaker 1:You're the youngest of four, four, oh okay, three girls yeah, there's three of us girls and a boy. Yeah, okay and your family lives fairly.
Speaker 2:Your parents live yeah, my parents just live like 10 minutes from me by oolagall lake, and then my sister natasha lives just like five minutes from me, and then my brother Jacob lives literally right beside my parents you do not get away and then my oldest sister, miranda. Um, she lives off in New Mexico. Like whenever she got out of school she went to the military and then she met her husband and they've just always been out there doing their thing. Yeah, nice, nice, and they've just always been out there doing their thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nice. Mama, I'm so grateful that you took time out of your busy schedule today to listen to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast. I'm Alexa Schmoker and I hope you love this conversation and that it resonated with you. Thank you so much for opening up your circle and letting us in as we walk through this wild ride of motherhood together. Remember, in the chaos of motherhood, there is always joy to be found, so keep looking in those little moments that make it all worth it. Be sure to follow along on Instagram at Mama of the Wild Crew underscore podcast. Please don't forget to like, subscribe and share our podcast. I'd love to hear from you, so comment, tag me, dm me, let me know what you think and let me know what you'd like to hear next. Mama, I am praying for you, I love you and I cannot wait to see you next time.
