Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Hosted by Alexis Schmoker – wife, mama of two, nurse, and Jesus lover. This podcast is all about embracing the beautiful chaos of motherhood, finding joy in the messy moments, and leaning into faith through it all. Whether you're navigating sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, or the everyday miracles of raising little ones, you're not alone. Join Alexis as she shares real-life stories, heartfelt conversations, and encouragement to help mamas everywhere find grace, laughter, and purpose in the wild adventure of motherhood.
Let’s find the joy in the chaos—together!
Mama of the Wild Crew Podcast
Grace-Filled Motherhood: Bible Study, Discipleship, and the Beauty of Being a Helpmate – with Author and Bible Study Resource Creator Nicole Rehmert
What happens when life's hardest moments collide with God's deepest truths? Nicole Remert has lived this collision firsthand—from being separated from God in her teenage years, to hospital rooms where her son's life hung in the balance.
As a wife, author, homeschooling mom, and the creator of Bible Study Resources, Nicole guides us through her transformation from party girl to passionate Bible teacher with stunning honesty. Her journey began when, at just 18 years old, she heard the gospel for the first time and discovered that God desired a relationship with her. This revelation changed everything.
The heart of our conversation explores why scripture study isn't just nice but necessary—especially for exhausted mothers. "Christian mamas need to remind themselves of the gospel daily," Nicole shares. "We're saved by God's grace, by God's unmerited favor, and then we live in God's grace." This truth sustained her when her youngest son Braxton developed infantile spasms at four months old, beginning years of medical crises where scripture memory became her lifeline in terrifying hospital rooms.
Nicole offers refreshingly practical wisdom on biblical womanhood, discipling children, and finding God's presence in the hardest seasons. Her approach to teaching theology to children involves not just knowledge but authentically living out her relationship with God. "More is caught than taught," she explains, describing how she wants her sons to see her genuine worship and prayers.
Perhaps most powerful is Nicole's perspective on parenting a special needs child: "Having a special needs kid is such a powerful picture of the gospel. The Lord pours himself out onto people who can offer nothing back. Similarly, I pour out my life for my child who may never say 'thank you' or 'I love you'—because he's mine, and that's enough."
Whether you're new to faith or longing to go deeper, Nicole's testimony will leave you equipped, encouraged, and eager to open God's Word for yourself. Follow her @biblestudyresources to discover practical tools for growing your relationship with God right where you are.
✨Bible Study Resources Website
https://www.bible-study-resources.com/
✨Nicole’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/bible.study.resources?igsh=MWgwb3ppNTMzYzNyYg==
✨The Bible Study Journal & Handbook for purchase on Amazon!
It would mean the world to me if you would like, subscribe leave a review and/or share with a friend if you enjoyed this episode! Please find me on Instagram, tag me, comment, or DM me. Let me know what you enjoyed and what you’d like to hear next. I love hearing from you!
✨FOLLOW MAMA OF THE WILD CREW ON INSTAGRAM ⬇️
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XO, Alexis Schmoker
Mama of the Wild Crew
📸: A heartfelt thank you to Jordan Allen of Cr00ked Teeth Photography for capturing this stunning cover photo.
Welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast, the podcast where we embrace the messy, wild, beautiful journey of motherhood together. I'm your host, alexa Schmoker, mama of two beautiful kiddos, wife, nurse and lover of Jesus. Motherhood is full of hard moments, unexpected chaos and those days where you just really don't have it all together. But in the midst of it all, there is so much joy. On this podcast, we're diving into the real, honest conversations about motherhood the challenges, the triumphs and everything in between. We'll hear the stories of incredible moms from all walks of life, share wisdom, laughter and let's be real probably a few tears, and we're going to discover how to embrace the joy in this chaos. So, whether you're rocking a baby to sleep, folding that never-ending pile of laundry or sneaking away for a quiet moment with your coffee, welcome mama. You're not alone here. Hit, subscribe and join me on this wild adventure of motherhood. I can't wait to do this journey with you.
Speaker 1:All right, welcome back to mama of the wild crew podcast, a space held for honest conversations about faith, motherhood, identity and a deep beauty that can be found in even the wildest parts of life. Today, I am so excited to welcome a woman who is deeply rooted in the word and absolutely passionate about helping others do the same. Nicole Remert is a wife, an author, a homeschooling mama, a fierce advocate for her children, and she is the heart behind Bible Study Resources. Bible Study Resources is an Instagram and a website dedicated to equipping women to dive deeper into scripture and truly understand what they're reading. Nicole's story is one of deep faith, miraculous healing, raw surrender and relentless pursuit of God's presence, even in hospital rooms, in grief and in everyday moments of motherhood. So, whether you're just beginning your faith journey or longing to dive deeper into the word, I know this conversation is going to bless you in a powerful way. So, without further ado, welcome to the podcast, nicole.
Speaker 2:Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family and what you do. Yes, thank you, I'm so excited to be here. Yeah, my name is Nicole. I was raised in Papillion, nebraska, and then now we're in Fremont, by God's grace. And yeah, my husband, seth, and I have been married for nine years. This year will be 10 years, though. So, so wild. We, our story is kind of crazy. We dated for I think it was six months, and then we were engaged for five months and then we got married. Oh, I love that when you know, you know. Oh I love that when, that season of my life, I was doing like this little homeless ministry alone and all my friends were like, oh, nicole, you should take a bodyguard or someone with you. And I'm like, well, who's going to want to do this with me? And then I'm like, well, I'll ask this cute guy, seth, that I keep seeing around in my Bible study, so I asked Seth?
Speaker 2:and yeah, and then we just started hanging out and getting to know each other. And then, almost 10 years later and two kids later, then here we are in Fremont.
Speaker 1:Here you are how sweet, is that You're like? Yes, I need a bodyguard to come with me, please.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it was so perfect for him because he's like, knowing his personality, like really, now it's like oh, he totally just ate that up. He's like yes, I'll be your bodyguard, of course, yeah.
Speaker 1:It was called. What did you call it? Bagels and blankets. Bagels and blankets.
Speaker 2:That is so cute. I was like that's so cute.
Speaker 1:Oh, how fun.
Speaker 2:I worked at Brewer's Bagels at that season of my life and they would just throw all the bagels that weren't sold that day. They would just throw them all away. And so I was like can I take those? And it was like downtown Omaha and there's a whole bunch of homeless people and I'm like can I take those? And just like hand those out to people. And they're like, sure, we're just going to throw them away. So I'd walk out of work with looking like Santa, with a giant trash bag of bagels. I would have like blankets and stuff and we'd pass out bagels and blankets to homeless people and ask to pray for them. And it was just a cool, like sweet season of random ministry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my gosh, how cool and how cool to like see an opportunity in somewhere where other people just wouldn't. You know. It's like you really. How old were you whenever you did?
Speaker 2:that I was 20 when I did that. Oh, that's so fun, yes. And then my husband and I met when I had just turned 21, and then got married at 22.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, and tell us a little bit about your kids. How old are they? What are their names?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I have two little boys, russell and Braxton. Russell is six and he is our typical boy kid where he's into like we just got him into karate. He does little like little dragon stuff and he loves the ninjas and superheroes. And we let him watch the 1960s cartoon of Spider-Man on YouTube Because we're like this is clean and pretty innocent. So he he loves like the 1960s spider-man. Um, I super into lego. But he's also very like, sensitive and sweet and um, and just very.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm emotionally aware of people around him and that's probably because of our youngest kid, braxton, who's four, going to be five this month, but a sweet Braxton.
Speaker 2:I know we'll get into his story later, but he is special needs. He's nonverbal, he's still in diapers, but we call him our little joy boy because he is just full of smiles and giggles and he can't speak, but he'll make lots of sounds and he'll make happy sounds if he's happy, like la, la, la, la, or he'll make sad songs. If he's hungry, or if he has a poopy diaper, he'll go la la, la. Oh, he's just so cute, he's just always so sweet. And so our oldest Russell, um, even though he's very much like his dad than that you can tell just this boy protector, legos karate. Um, I think the lord, in a really sweet way, has used Braxton, or the youngest, in just a really sweet way to soften him and to make him just more compassionate and just aware, I think, of other people and how to interact with someone different than him and just how to be gentle and soft and in just a sweet way.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, that is so sweet. There's another lady that came on the podcast earlier and she had a son, or she has a son that has autism, and she kind of said something similar about her boys, like just the way that they see people and you know care for their spouses and it's just such a reflection she can tell of, like how they had to learn patience and how they had to you know their brother and so, oh, that is just so sweet they were made to be. It is, yeah, absolutely. Oh well, I love that. They sound so sweet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they are. We're so blessed, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So we, oh, okay, so we, as moms, you know we can be absolutely crushing it and we just slip up every now and again, you know, and have a mom fail. So, nicole, with your two boys, what is a mom fail that you?
Speaker 2:can think of, oh, my goodness. So I was thinking of this question and it was hard to narrow it down. Like I have so many I read a book on how many mom fails that some are really embarrassing and some are just funny and some are me like just learning and you know, in hindsight, thinking like why didn't I know that? Like oh, that's so silly, um, so uh, but I I narrowed it down to this one because I think it was just a sweet God story too, a funny fail on my part, but a few years ago. So, yeah, my youngest Braxton, who has special needs, he has just been in and out of the hospital all his life, all these different medical things, and he was on this medication that could potentially make him blind, and so, anyway, we had to just see the eye doctor regularly, and this was the first time we saw this one eye doctor in Omaha. And so I have Braxton, who's probably two at the time, and then Russell, who's like three and a half, and I'm this frantic mom and still pretty new to motherhood. I'm still new to motherhood, I don't know what I'm doing and um, but I just remember it was just a season of like everything is chaos and I'm like frantically getting out of the house. We're late to this eye doctor appointment. That is like a really big deal. And so I'm like freaking out. We're late, we're running in the car like grab your shoes, put them on the car, go, go, go. We're driving to Omaha and when we get there you know we're we're a little bit late, but they're so gracious. And then they call us out of the waiting room, bring us to a room and the doctor comes in for a little bit and then, um, he leaves. And in the meantime, when he left, braxton I smelled. I smelled him and he just reeked of poop. And I'm like, oh man, I should, I should change it because he was in his little stroller. So I pick him up out of his stroller and the whole back that he's completely covered, blow out poop. So pants are annihilated, shirts annihilated, and then it like dripped down to like his socks. It was just like he covered. His whole back was covered. Like, oh, my goodness. So I'm thinking like this appointment is so important I can't just like leave the room to go to the bathroom because the doctor said he'd be right back. So then I lay braxton down.
Speaker 2:Just this story gets like worse and worse. So I lay Braxton down on the floor, the floor of all things, and just in the middle of this room, and I mean we're the only ones in it, but just waiting for the doctor and taking Braxton's clothes off, and then I reach into my purse to grab some diapers or to grab some wipes, and I realized I forgot wipes and I go oh no, so luckily it had like had like the room had a sink and like paper towels. So I'm like, okay, so I'm like trying to grab all the paper towels and cleaning them up and kind of wetting them down and then putting them in the trash can. So then the whole room smelled like poop and anyway I get him cleaned up. It took forever.
Speaker 2:And then, um, I, by this time, as I'm like cleaning him up, the doctor comes back in and I'm like I'm so sorry, like I we're literally hearing the results of if my son is partially blind. So I'm like this is like a really big deal. And so I'm like, please, like give me the information, like I can multitask, and I'm trying to clean him up and listen, and then Russell starts crying and I'm like, oh, my gosh, but anyway. So I forgot everything. And as the doctor is telling me these things and spoiler Braxton's fine, he wasn't partially blind, praise God. But then I reach into my bag to grab a diaper because he's all cleaned off, praise God.
Speaker 2:And I'm talking to the doctor, reaching my bag to grab the diaper, and there's no diaper. I also forgot the diapers. So I forgot the wipes and the diapers. So I'm like, oh my goodness. So then I'm still kind of listening to the doctor, but then I'm still searching in my purse and I'm like, okay, well, I'll just put his new outfit on and just won't give it to me any water or food and just pray, he doesn't pee through it. So I searching and then I also forgot an outfit, like a second outfit for him, so homeboy, butt naked. And I'm like, oh my goodness. And his clothes are completely annihilated. And at that point I'm like I'm just gonna throw his clothes away, like I don't want to take these there's no salad shade in them?
Speaker 2:yeah, there's no. And so the doctor's talking to me and like I'm crying, but like he's telling me good news and and he can tell I'm crying, and he's just like, are you okay? And I'm like I'm just really overwhelmed and I forgot like her diaper bag with all of our stuff in it and my kid's gonna have to come out of here naked, like strap him into his car or strap him into his stroller naked, and just like stroll about. I'm like this is insane. So I'm crying. And then a sweet nurse.
Speaker 2:This is where, like such a cool God thing, a sweet nurse I don't know if she overheard or I kind of blacked out in the situation, so I don't remember how she heard, but somehow the sweet nurse or someone that convinced me like okay, well, like just stay here for a little bit longer, we're going to run a few other tests as my kids, completely naked, and they're running these eye tests, like more tests, and so we're there for a little bit longer and then, out of nowhere, this sweet angel of a nurse comes over with this bag from the dollar store and she's like I literally could cry again.
Speaker 2:And she's like I heard that you're kind of having a rough time and I wanted to get you diapers. I got a couple of different sizes because I didn't know how big he is, and I got some clothes for him that I thought would fit. And I just started sobbing and I'm like, can I hug you? And I'm like holding her and sobbing, oh my goodness. So then we walked out with these sweet dollar general clothes and diaper and I'm just on cloud nine.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it wasn't blind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome. You're like oh, my goodness it is. You're like your kids are there. You didn't forget that Sometimes. I didn't forget them. I didn't forget them. So that's a positive, I have their shoes.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness had their shoes. So Braxton would have walked out there completely naked no diaper, no shoes on.
Speaker 1:You know, and half the time my kids do not have their shoes, or they have like one of them, or the shoes are the hardest part. Right the hardest part Right Kudos to you. And oh, that is so sweet though, and that's so cool though too, how she just changed your whole like perspective of the story around, because sometimes it just be rough out there.
Speaker 2:It does. I'm like Lord, would you let me do this to another mom. Like my life goal is to find another mom that's struggling like that and be like have these clothes.
Speaker 1:That happened to us in the airport one time, Like I yes, we were flying with. It was before Wilder, it was just crew. She was like six months old because we were flying back from vacation and complete blowout. I didn't have anything else and this other mom gave me her outfit out of her bag. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1:And, of course, like I have her on the table and I couldn't like go out to the like out there to tell my husband like I need help. You know like, and her bags were checked. I just had like the diaper bag, um, yeah, but this other mom like just gave me her kid's extra outfit.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh my goodness, like thank you.
Speaker 1:I know I'm like I still think about you. You've probably never thought about me again, but I think about you all the time right.
Speaker 1:It's like those things make such a big impact and it's like, oh, like us mamas, we just get each other like I get the struggle oh, and you can tell that she just knew like she walked up, she and she just like started helping me clean her up, like and was like pulling stuff out of her diaper, like it wasn't even. It was like we were a team but we didn't know each other. But you know, you just wow, work in this motherhood together.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, like this is bond, it's like this instant bond with moms, especially, I feel like, when your kids are around the same age. But even if they're not, it's just like I get that or I remember that I'm in this with you.
Speaker 1:Well, right, and like you were saying, like I'm not experienced yet, and it's like when do you, do you ever get to that point to where you're like, okay, maybe I've got it, I don't know. Like I don't know. If someone out there knows you get to that point, let me know.
Speaker 2:But I feel like my mother-in-law we love her and I mean, my husband was raised so wonderfully, we were both raised so wonderfully. But my mother-in-law, she is now a parenting coach with John Roseman and she's like, oh man, I'm realizing, like all these things that like I didn't do that I should have done, and so even her with like grandchildren, she's like, man, I'm learning what I still should have done and she's like, yeah, you never really arrive, we're just all learning.
Speaker 1:Which is a great you know thing to have. Just to know that you're always going to be learning. Yes, yes, well, I love that Sweet grace. I know it is so sweet. I'll have to pick your brain more on what your mother-in-law does too, because that's so cool, right.
Speaker 2:I know I learn from her all the time.
Speaker 1:She. You have shared that your relationship with God is your favorite thing to talk about and honestly, I love that so much Can you take us back to when your faith became real for you? What did God rescue you from and how has he continued to transform?
Speaker 2:your heart through the years? What a sweet question. Well, god saved me from myself. God saved me from myself and his wrath against me, his righteous wrath against me for my sin.
Speaker 2:I was raised in a very sweet, moral but lukewarm, I would say, catholic home, and so I always say my parents did the best they could with what they knew. And, like we've been talking about, we're all learning, we're always learning. And so they did the best they could with what they knew and at that time, yeah, they believed in God and they raised us to believe in God, but it wasn't something that was like super, super personal and so kind of grew up more moral, I would say, than spiritual. And then, when I was 16, then I just got crazy into like the party scene and I was a cheerleader at the time and just like the parties and the boys and inappropriate relationships and drinking and smoking at just such a young age, and so I just got swooped up into just this very worldly what, like the world would say, is um is going to fill you. I just got swooped up into that Um and, uh, I remember when I I wasn't safe till I was 18, but I remember when I was about 17. So about a year or so into this, um, I just got super, super depressed and like I would go to school and you know my little cheer outfit and have a smile on my face and I knew a lot of people and so from the outside people probably didn't see, but the inside, like I would go home and I'd be like scratching my wrist till they bled and like writing fantasy suicide notes. So I'm like and just like just dark, dark thoughts. And, um, I was.
Speaker 2:So I just remember thinking at that time like man, like if this is all that life is, like you know, inappropriate relationships with boys and drinking and smoking, and just like this cycle, like all of what the movies would tell you, like, oh, you just need another guy, or oh, you just need to get drunk, or oh, you just, you know, need to numb yourself with weed or something. It's like you know I was being fed that message without even knowing. And I just remember thinking when I was 17, like man, if this is truly like, what else to life is there Genuinely what else? What other option? I didn't even know that there was another option besides that, because that's just what I was fed and at that point I had stopped going to church. It wasn't that my Catholic church, it wasn't that big of a deal to them at the time and I was just. I just really became suicidal and thinking like, if this is truly all that there is, like I don't want to live anymore, like I don't, I really don't want to go the rest of my 70, 60, some years of life, just like in this cycle, like this is, this is just horrible. But I just remember thinking like I truly don't know I haven't had presented to me another option, so this, like you go with what you're familiar with, and that's all that I knew, and we didn't have any like super strong Christians that were pouring into me. So, yeah, it was just like what else am I going to do? So, by God's grace.
Speaker 2:When I was 18, I was dating this atheist um named Richard, and I was a senior in high school and um he was a freshman at a college nearby Um. But we had met in high school and Richard was this atheist who, which I'm like you go, babe, and he would like argue with Christians. And I'm like, yeah, like I didn't even care. And but anyway, long story short, richard ends up being invited to this college ministry. And you know this, this atheist, this debating atheist, he's invited to this college ministry and, long story short, he ends up like agreeing to go, somehow, by God's grace.
Speaker 2:And I remember he came to my house in that week and he's like Nicole, like we should go to this Bible, to this Bible study, to this college Bible study. And I just remember thinking like we're not like this little goody, two shoes, church couple, like what are where, what are we going to be doing at church? Like that's, that's not us, that's not our vibe. And but he's like, let's like, let's just go, just for kicks and giggles. So anyway, we agreed to go, and just for the heck of it, for the experience, for like whatever. So we go. And I remember thinking, well, 18 year old me, probably smelling like weed, looking very much like the world. And I just remember like before I walked in there it was called the Rock at that time, this little college ministry. And I remember thinking like if there is a God, like I am going to burn walking through these doors.
Speaker 2:Like this is a place for holy people and this is not me. So if there is a God like I, I don't belong here, I'm going to burn. And I just remember getting like so anxious I'm like I don't want to, I shouldn't be walking through these doors. And so I knew enough to know that if there was a God like I'm separated from him, which is like in hindsight man, that's like you need to know the bad news before you know the good news of the gospel. And, um, and yeah, the bad news before you know the good news of the gospel. And yeah, the good news isn't as sweet unless you know the bad news. And so I understood the bad news, but I didn't know the good news yet.
Speaker 2:And so, long story short, I go into this little college ministry and I just remember everyone was so friendly and sweet and we sat by these random people and the pastor came up and he just started sharing the gospel and it was a pretty large at that time. I remember college ministry and he just started sharing the gospel and my 18 year old ears had never, ever heard the gospel before it was. I remember like just being so taken aback and he was just like man, some people in here don't know how loved they are and how sought after they are by God. And I remember thinking like, yeah, yeah, like you know, other people like clearly not me, I don't even belong here. And but then it was almost like the Lord was just having him speak to, like a lot of my fears and what was going on in my head, and he just shared the gospel that, like man, you, if you are sitting here and you are thinking like I deserve hell, then you're right, you do. And I'm thinking like yup, and he's like, but God loves you Yep, check, I know that part. And then, but then he's just like God loves you and he desires a relationship with you, so much so they sent his son so that if you turn to him in faith, he'll wipe your slate clean, he'll take your sins away, he'll give you his son's perfect life as if you have done nothing wrong, and he'll have his son pay for all of your sins instead of you so that he can have a relationship with you and be with you.
Speaker 2:And I had never which is wild now, but like I had never, ever heard that in my life that there was a God that wanted a relationship with me. And so I remember my first thought was like I was almost kind of upset. I'm like I'm over here writing suicide notes why has no one ever told me this before? Like I am so depressed, why is this the first time that I'm hearing about this? And, in hindsight, maybe someone did tell me it before, but the Lord just hadn't opened my ears to hear it. But by his grace, he did open up my ears and move my heart and I'm like, wow, that's what I want, if that's true.
Speaker 2:And so I remember I went home that night and I just started crying at the foot of my bed and I'm like, lord, if that's true, then I need you and I want this. I need you. And I would say that that's when my relationship with the Lord started and he's been sanctifying me so much ever since. Yeah, because it took about two years, because I was so like invested in the world, in just sexual relationships and drinking and weed and just the world, and so it took about two years until I was about 20 doing the bagels and blankets ministry. It took about two years for the Lord to really like fully strip like all of that off.
Speaker 1:Um, and he has just been faithful and gracious and kind to sanctify me ever since and still is how cool just that constant pursuit of you and just how personal too, just to know like that he was constantly pursuing you in different ways and speaking to you through different people, and like that's just so crazy too. It makes me think like um, like what, what was said to Richard, or like what happened in Richard to make him be like let's do this, you know right.
Speaker 2:Because he didn't love the Lord, then he was an atheist at that time.
Speaker 1:And then.
Speaker 2:So then, fun fact now he's a brother in Christ. I mean, we ended up breaking up and that's a whole other story, but that was like God's sweet grace. We ended up breaking up and then he's married to a beautiful godly woman and they have children. And then I married to a wonderful godly man and we have children. And we've run into each other a couple times before and it's just like how sweet, like you're, like now we're brothers and sisters in Christ and the Lord has us on, like you know, very different paths. But it's just as sweet, like wow, like if the Lord can do that, like what can't he do? Like how?
Speaker 1:right and just. His plan is so much bigger and like. He saw that so long ago where your eyes at 18 just didn't even have a concept of like what this whole plan was. Yes, yes, I love that. Hey there, wild Crew Mamas, some super exciting news. If you're like me, these days any day is a hat day. Literally probably every day is a hat day, and we have two new hats for Mama of the Wild Crew podcast. I am so excited and huge shout out to my sister-in-law, brie, over at Schmokey Designs, for taking these ideas and bringing them to life. We have Mama of the Wild Crew podcast hat and we also have the cutest hat. It says Motherhood is my ministry. And ain't have the cutest hat. It says motherhood is my ministry. And ain't that the truth? Guys, head on over to our Instagram at mama of the wild crew underscore podcast, dm me or comment on one of the posts and let us know that you want your hat today.
Speaker 1:Growing up, our parents had a super special tradition. We kept this big stork in our garage and whenever someone, either in town or one of our friends, had a baby, we would all load up and go over to their house and put this stork in their yard to help them celebrate. It was one of my favorite childhood memories and my sister, addison Sewell, has carried on that tradition. She is the proud owner of Owosso Storks, offering personalized stork deliveries to families celebrating the arrival of a new baby. Whether it's a baby announcement, a baby shower or to celebrate the birth of a little one, awaso Storks is the perfect thoughtful, sentimental gift. There are even options to celebrate proud big siblings and even those furry little family members.
Speaker 1:For a sweet, memorable gift, reach out to Owasso Storks. Check them out on Instagram. That's at Owasso Storks, at O-W-A-S-S-O-S-T-O-R-K-S, and you can find their contact info in the show notes. Guys, this is just the sweetest gift. I have personally been blessed by a stork from Owasso Storks before. Owasso Storks was a thing and it was just the sweetest thing. So definitely reach out to Owasso Storks, okay, nicole, I am so inspired about how you use your platform to disciple women and teach them how to study God's word. Why do you think it's so important for women, especially mothers, to really know how to study the Bible for themselves? What do you hope that women walk away with after going through your resources, and what inspired you to create the Bible Study Journal and Handbook?
Speaker 2:Hmm, great question. Yeah, I think for man it is, I would say, of the utmost importance for mothers not to just have a love and a relationship with the Lord, but to have, like, an active, growing relationship with God. And how we do that is God's word. I love. Um, I think it's a John Piper quote, but he goes if you want to hear God speak, then read your Bible. If you want to hear God speak out loud, then read your Bible out loud, like the.
Speaker 2:The Bible is God's living and active words to us, and so I feel like, especially for mothers oh, my goodness, we as mothers are so sacrificial, by God's grace, and give so much of ourselves and so so often run on empty in so many different areas, and there's absolutely a time and a place for natural limitations, and you need a nap, or you need that coffee, or you need just a break and to lock yourself in a bathroom and eat some chocolate or something, and that's such a sweet gift from the Lord, his common graces. But I think, more than any of that, mothers need to know how to study the Word, because that is what actually will sustain us. The Lord and us growing in love and knowledge of Him is what's actually going to actually sustain us. And it's sweet little again. God's graces pick me up, so this little piece of chocolate, or getting our nails done, or taking a nap, or having a girl's night or something. Such sweet graces, and I love when time allows for me to do that, but it's like that is just going to be momentary and fleeting. But rather when we know how to study the word for ourselves and we have not just this faraway knowledge of God, but when we have this theology that produces this doxology, which is worship, doxology is worship of God. And when our study of God, theology produces this doxology, this worship, this appropriate worship of the Lord for mothers especially, I would say it is of the utmost importance One for just sustaining us in feeling so just overwhelmed and exhausted.
Speaker 2:Like, oh, sister, like mama, take your daily bread. Have you taken your vitamins? Have you taken your daily bread today? Like, be fueled, like, let the Lord fuel you. He's your God and if you have a relationship with him, he loves you and he desires to fuel you and to remind you of the gospel, which is a whole other thing, like Christian mamas reminding themselves of the gospel and you know, the gospel isn't just for nonbelievers, when we're trying to introduce them to the Lord that desires to save them, but rather the gospel is also for the Christian mama who is tired and exhausted and weary and feels like a failure and frustrated, like we are saved by God's grace, by God's unmerited favor, and then now we live in God's grace, in God's unmerited favor, and knowing that and being reminded of that and growing in that knowledge every day, reminding ourselves of the gospel every day and growing in our knowledge of the Lord and of the gospel every day, is truly the epitome of a sustaining daily bread that, again, I feel like especially moms need with.
Speaker 2:There's so many times we feel like a failure, so many times we feel like, oh man, I shouldn't have fought with my husband in front of my kid, or I shouldn't have yelled at my kid, or should I send him to this school or this school or home school, or do I feed him this snack, or this has dyes, or you know like, and you just constantly get, you have all these messages of you should, should, should, you should be doing this, you should be doing that.
Speaker 2:And there is such freedom and joy when mamas can remind themselves and grow in their love and knowledge of the good news that Jesus has completely taken away all your sins.
Speaker 2:If you did sin against your kid, like, remind yourself of the gospel, mama, that you are forgiven and freed and that there is therefore now no condemnation on you.
Speaker 2:And if you make the wrong mistake and oh, you feel like I should have done this, but I did this instead. Like there is God's grace, the gospel is God's sovereignty, his power in transforming you and saving you and man, if he transformed and saved you, how much more can he transform this decision that you made, even if it was maybe the quote unquote wrong decision? Or even if you made it in sin? Like there's great, we shouldn't intentionally make decisions in sin, obviously, but when we are in Christ, there is such grace and such sweet freedom to be found in reminding ourselves of that and growing in that and resting in that. Like, if God can transform you, how much more can he transform maybe your unwise decisions that you make as a mom? Like the Lord doesn't need you to perform perfectly Like he, if he can transform your dead body, take away his wrath from you and give you eternal life in Christ, how much more can he do what he wants with your child?
Speaker 1:Hey, oh my goodness, I'm just sitting here like yes, yes, keep going, yes, it's so sweet and I feel like that's why I get so passionate about.
Speaker 2:I love discipleship. That's a huge and again, oh my goodness, I'm still learning and I'm so grateful that I'm discipled by a couple of different ladies at our church. But I love pouring into women as well and one of my favorite things to teach online with my Bible study resource stuff or just in person at our local church. I get to do some women's ministry at our local church and I just love teaching women how to study the Bible and how to grow in the knowledge and love of God's grace in the gospel. And yeah, I don't know if we want to get into that now, but it's so fun to learn and to just grow in.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, that's so much good stuff and whoever's listening, seriously, go follow Nicole on Instagram because she puts out such great like tips and tricks and I've got your, I've got your journal right here and you also need to get her journal on Amazon because, seriously, like, it just goes into practical things that I, I mean, I've never been told or taught, like how to study your Bible.
Speaker 1:You break down like different phrases that are said different like biblical genres.
Speaker 1:I mean, you do cross references, you have commentaries all kinds of things are in here, like and then there's also places to literally journal, and I saw like a video you did where I think you were diving into maybe a passage of Peter or something, and you had like multiple like a Bible and books and books and books like stacked on each other, like you get so obsessed and I'm like I can do that way and so I love how it's laid out, because then I can organize, like my thoughts and flow. So, seriously, not to give away like all the stuff that you do. But, guys, this is something that you, you definitely need to go get and follow Nicole on Instagram because such like great practical advice and wisdom and you don't, I don't, you don't have to go to seminary, you don't have to do all of this stuff, like it's so amazing that people do, and I absolutely love that and, honestly, if I was in a stage of my life where I could, that would be a different thing.
Speaker 1:But we're all in that stage of our lives, you know. But that doesn't mean that you can't like study like this, and you should Totally.
Speaker 2:Totally One of my favorite things, my husband and I one of the many reasons that we connected is we both love like, just, we love puzzles and like and thinking of things deeply, and so we became like theology nerds together, just learning about God and studying him. And it really is this thing that like, really, if we're going to be obsessed about anything like, let us be obsessed about the gospel and growing in that. And I remember there was a season in my life and I think it's so normal of of, yeah, just assuming, like, okay, like I know the gospel, jesus died on the cross for sins of those who come to faith in him and then were saved and praise God. And it's just like, and it's so simple and in one hand, like man. The gospel is so simple. You could explain it to a two-year-old in certain terms and it's like, yep, he gets it, he understands, like, wow, like we are saved by God's grace, through faith, praise God. But then it's like there's also so much depth to it and application to it that you can never exhaust the study of just the gospel and seeing that unfold from Genesis to Revelation, and seeing the salvation drama of scripture just unfold. All of scripture is just this unveiling salvation drama of man. How can a sinful people dwell in the presence of a holy God? Like how is that going to happen? And you see just these points of application throughout the word.
Speaker 2:And the biggest question I encourage people to ask when they're studying scripture if you are new and this is also overwhelming the number one thing you have to ask is what does this passage teach me about the Lord? What does this passage teach me about the Lord? What does this teach me about God's character? Passage teach me about the Lord. Like, what does this teach me about God's character? Does this passage teach me that God is loving, or that he's powerful, or that he's gracious, or that he's just, or that he is eternal? And in that little journal then there's a bunch of attributes of the Lord, and I think on my page there's even just an attributes of the Lord, and I think on my page there's even just an attributes of God thing for free you can screenshot, but just knowing, like, what attributes to look for is such a fun place to start as you are just a tired, busy mama just trying to get your daily bread in, trying to feel just sustained by the Lord and in his love and grace for you, then, man, you can.
Speaker 2:How I started is, I remember, when I had newborns, and you're exhausted and you're cranky and your mind isn't even fully there Like sleep deprivation is such the real thing. And I remember I would. Isn't it crazy? It's like, how do moms do that? But I remember I would listen to audio Bible and I would listen on YouTube to this word of promise and it's just a straight up reading of, of just the Bible, and I think it's the NKJV version, but you can hardly even even tell the Bible and I think it's the NKJV version, but you can hardly even tell, and they're just reading it.
Speaker 2:But it has like theatrical music to it and like voice actors, but they're just straight reading scripture. And so I would listen to that and I would listen, for I don't know, maybe like five minutes, and sometimes I would have to listen to it a couple of times as I'm nursing or as I'm driving or as I'm just sitting there, and I would listen to that. And then I would have to listen to it a couple of times as I'm nursing or as I'm driving or as I'm just sitting there, and I would listen to that, and then I would just ask myself what does this teach me about the Lord? And then whatever attribute I noticed was in that, like man, I really see God's love in this. Or, man, I really see God's justice in this? Or God's power in this? Wow, I see God's power in this. Then I will cling. Then my job for the rest of that day is to cling, white knuckle, cling to that attribute of the Lord for the rest of the day and that's going to sustain me. That's what's going to be encouraging to me. So then, if I mess up, or if I don't know what to do with my baby and my baby's crying and I don't know what I'm doing, then I can remember.
Speaker 2:Okay, I just read a story in the Bible this morning, or I just listened to it on audio Bible, about how powerful God is, and so I'm going to pray to this powerful God.
Speaker 2:Or I just learned in scripture how loving God is. So even if I feel really lonely in the season of motherhood and my friends aren't in the same season, or I'm the first friend to have a baby and I haven't been in that season, and it just feels lonely and it's kind of awkward, your friends don't really understand. And man, I just read this morning that God, I saw how loving God was to Israel, or I saw how loving God was in this situation, and so I'm just going to cling to that and rest in God's grace. And man, no one else understands this season for me and I feel so lonely. But my God loves me and I just read that as proof. It's not me making this thingy up in my mind, but I just read as proof this morning, or just listened as proof this morning, that my God loves me and so I'm just going to rest in that today and oftentimes I'll like write that attribute on my hand or something so I can remind myself of it throughout the day.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. And isn't it so cool too how he like he'll speak to you too Whenever you're going through things like whatever. He just speaks to you in a way like whatever you're reading that day, it just always seems to like be talking to exactly what you're feeling or going through.
Speaker 2:His living and active word.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, that is beautiful. I love that so much. Okay, nicole, we have talked a little bit about how you've been through some valleys in your motherhood, especially with Braxton's health and your time in the hospital, so can you share how your faith sustains you during those seasons and how the word of God became your anchor in those moments?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh man. This is another thing I'm passionate about talking about just how the Lord has sustained us and preserved us in trials. So Braxton, born completely normal and healthy and we did all the quote unquote, right things that doctors tell you to do, Um, but then at four months he um. But at four months he developed a really rare type of seizure, um called the infantile spasms, and they weren't. They didn't look like a normal seizure and apparently they don't act like a normal seizure. Um, apparently they don't act like a normal seizure, but it puts your brain in a state of chaos called hypsarrhythmia, which we had never heard of before. I mean, it's just a rare form of seizures, but it put his brain in a state of clinical chaos called hypsarrhythmia. So while a smooth brain scan would show kind of smooth and rhythmic waves, A hypsarrhythmia brain that's in a clinical state of chaos just has sharp up and downs. It's just. The brain scan is just chaos. There's no clear movement or rhythm which then translates to Braxton. When kids are in this, then they can't have a clear thought or learn anything new, they can't be comforted, they are just in chaos, they can't think straight. And so, whether you have one infantile spasm seizure a day, or whether you have a hundred infantile spasm seizures a day, then your brain is stuck in this hypsarrhythmia, chaos. And so it was.
Speaker 2:We didn't know that at the time. But Braxton, yeah, when he was four months he did this weird crunch motion and his eyes got really big and he just tensed up really quick and it really looked like a baby crunch, like full body crunch, and then he started screaming and it was so weird because it looked like gas or tummy stuff, and so I'm like what in the world? And so I pick him up and I'm trying to comfort him and then I feel him full body crunch again and just tighten and scream. And so it would be like every five seconds he would do crunch after crunch, after crunch after crunch for like 20 or 30 minutes, with like a five second, 10 second break in between. He's screaming and screaming. And so, you know, I called the doctor's office and oh, it's just probably gas and I'm like no, like we've dealt with gas before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's not, though, and oh well, cause if it keeps getting worse, um, and then, sure enough, a couple hours later, it happened again, this crunch after crunch after crunch, and in hindsight, each crunch was a seizure. It was like a one second seizure, but it was infantile spasms, and so, anyway, long story short, I ended up calling the doctors again. They're like, well, maybe just bring him into the hospital. And so for about a month, no doctor would take me seriously that like something is wrong with my kid. But you just know in your mama gut that like this is not gas, like this is not normal, something is wrong with my kid, and you feel like you're going crazy, you're just being gaslit sometimes.
Speaker 2:And it's like oh, you're just just probably tired and you're a new mom and I'm like something is wrong with my baby. Someone listen, you feel crazy. Yes, you do. And and I really did start thinking like okay, am I just like, is this just hormonal? And and. But no, I'm like like I just know. I don't know what it is, but I just know something is wrong with my kid.
Speaker 2:And so for about a month a little over a month um, in and out of the hospital, in and out of the emergency room and all these tests and all these scans, and everyone thought it was stomach stuff. Um, they even went in for surgery with like a scope to see what was going on with the stomach and they're like he's fine and I'm like, okay, like we like something else. And so I was just driving myself just up the wall and I remember one time we were driving away from one of the hospital visits and I had to pull over because I was just hysterically sobbing to the Lord and I'm like I just remember screaming. Well, I had, I pulled over in my car and I just had Braxton in the car and I just remember screaming to the Lord like God, what are you doing? Where are you Like what? What is happening? Like what? What are you doing to us, lord? And I just felt, so abandoned, to be honest, like by the Lord, lord, I felt, whatever this is like, please reveal it and show it to the doctor. Show it to me, like, show us what this is. But god's sweet grace, um, about a week later then we switched doctors, switched pediatricians to one that would take us more seriously and this new pediatrician the first thing she said was you need to get a brain scan on him. And I remember thinking like, like this doesn't have anything to do with his brain, like he's crunching. But we're like okay, we'll just do it to check it off. And, sure enough, in the brain scan, within like a minute of them hooking him up to the EEG brain scan, or within a couple minutes, then the EEG nurse or tech is like um, I'll be right back. And she leaves the room and then comes back with a whole swarm of doctors and nurses and they like take Braxton out of my arms and they're all talking to each other and everything's like chaotic and I hear just these scary things of like this is bad, like we need to get him a room right now. Nope, call this person, we need to get him a room. And I'm like what? Like, oh my gosh, clearly they found something.
Speaker 2:And so, long story short, we found out that it was infantile spasms and that is apparently the most dangerous type of seizure. It's the rarest, so it's hard to catch, but it's one of the most dangerous types of seizures that a kid can have because their brain can get stuck in that state of chaos and they cause a whole swarm of other problems if it's not stopped. And so for like a year and a half, two years of our lives, we were just in and out of the hospital and we were trying all of these frontline meds to help the infantile spasms, and none of the frontline meds worked for him. A lot of them had like a 90% chance of working and they worked on most kids. And then the other one had like a 75% chance of working and we tried all of them and, to the doctor's surprise, none of them worked. Some of them lowered the seizures, but for infantile spasms you don't want to just lower the seizures, because then you're still in hypsarrhythmia. You need to completely annihilate the seizures for the hypsarrhythmia, for the most part, to stop. And so we were encouraged that the seizures were lower, but we're also like his brain's still in chaos, like he can't learn. He's a newborn right now, like he went back to being a newborn and there's just so many moments in the hospital it was during COVID, too, 2020.
Speaker 2:So everybody was so impersonal with masks and there was just a one parent policy. So my husband couldn't come in, my mom couldn't come in, friends couldn't come in and it was just, yes, but there by myself, not knowing if my kid's going to be alive. And then even you know doctors there's some really, really sweet doctors and nurses but when they have their face covered and they have to stand, you know six feet distance. Everything's just so lonely and impersonal and you can't even see empathy on someone's face. You know when they're wearing the mask.
Speaker 2:So I'm just like this is insane, lord, like what is happening and man, what sustained me is solely God's grace. There are so many times where the Lord has intentionally brought me to my knees to then lift me up and point me to him, and it's like my personality. The Lord is so kind to bring me to my knees and to point me to him, because if I'm just proudly walking on my own. It's like my eyes are not quick to go to him and it's just my stubborn heart that the Lord is so gracious to save and transform and redeem. Praise God. But I mean, there's two big things that the Lord really used to sustain me and preserve me through that trial with him, and one of them was scripture memory.
Speaker 2:My mentor at the time. She was kind of going through a rough season with her family too and sickness, and she had encouraged me to memorize Lamentations 3. I think it's verses 22 through 24. But it's something along the lines of this. But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness, says my soul. Therefore I will hope in him. And she encouraged me to memorize that in this season and even though my heart felt so far from the Lord, I'm like I know that this is truth and I know that I need this.
Speaker 2:And so there was this one moment in the hospital where one of the many times we thought Braxton was gonna die and he-.
Speaker 1:Sorry, one moment. I've got a kid at home, so she's here, you're fine. You sit right here with me. You say, hi, I have her up today from school Cause she's throwing up.
Speaker 2:Okay, but if you hear that, that's what it is but you go on, oh, you're so by them, literally mom life. I know, right, I was like okay, but yeah, I remember there was this one time in the hospital where he was hooked up to oxygen and all the things and we thought he was going to pass away. And I remember his like watching his oxygen level go down on the screen and all alone, and you know, nurses are coming and rushing in and doing all these things and shaking him. And I remember just this streak of terror came over me and I had remembered what my mentor had encouraged me to memorize at Lamentations 3. And so, through tears, I just started saying it out loud to myself Because, again, if we want to hear God speak, we read the Bible. If we want to hear God speak out loud, we read the Bible out loud. So I'm like, oh my goodness, like I'm so lonely, lord, like I don't know, I'm just in this, you know, state of panic and fear. So these nurses are shaking Braxton, trying to help him.
Speaker 2:I have to back up in the corner, and so then I just start saying out loud the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercy has never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness, says my soul. Therefore, I will hope in him. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercy has never come to an end and I would just repeat it over and over and over and over to myself until it was all over and, by God's grace, they made Braxton stable again. But, man, was my heart just traumatized in that, and I think that's when it was this strange, like that was, I think, the first time through all of this that I felt the personalness of the Lord Through this. I knew intellectually, okay, god is with me and God is in control and God loves us through this and and his plan is going to prevail. Like I knew that intellectually, but it wasn't until I started preaching scripture to my heart, to my weary heart, that I'm like like Lord, you are, like you are in this with me and just feeling that like personal, intimate aspect of the Lord through that so scripture memory.
Speaker 2:And then also, um one of the other many times in this in this year and a half, two year period, um, where, yeah, braxton was in and out of the hospital, hooked up to all these things, wasn't sure if he was gonna pass or not. Um, which is just wild thinking about. I remember he, um, he was laying in the bed and he was super, super pale and had like all these, um, just monitors all over him and I was in the hospital room all alone and we were there for like a week this time or something. And I remember just like crying and just feeling so lonely and wanting like someone with me, like just a friend with me, and I remembered that I had brought my Bible so, and I had been going through Joshua. By God's grace, I already had new hermeneutics. I already knew like a proper helpful way to study the Bible, like I teach my Bible study handbook, and so I already knew like a proper helpful way to study the Bible, like I teach my Bible study handbook, and so I already knew I already had those tools prior.
Speaker 2:And so, in the state of just weariness and chaos and my heart's just aching, then I pulled out my Bible, did the things that I knew to do, like studying it properly, and it just truly was like water to my soul, like it was just this sweet quench of, of just thirst, or it quenched this, um, this thirst that I had, and I was going through the book of Joshua and I was reading about these battles that, um, the Lord had Israel go through, and uh, just these encouraging things that the Lord was saying to Israel, and I asked myself, like a good Bible student, I asked myself, okay, what does this teach me about the Lord? And I saw God's power through it. I saw his care for his people, those who were his people. I saw his care for them. And then I saw his power when it looked like all odds were against God's people, then how God was so powerful in the midst of that. And it didn't matter if it looked like it was the end for Israel. If God didn't want that to happen, it wasn't going to happen. And if God wanted something to happen, then that's what was going to happen.
Speaker 2:And so I was seeing this unfold, and as I was sitting here and learning these things about God being reminded of these things, then, you know, I look in this hospital room and I look over at my kid, who's so pale, so sickly, looking all hooked up to these things and sleeping in the hospital bed.
Speaker 2:And I was just brought to tears by this sweet moment of intimacy with the Lord, of like the Lord, like the Lord cares about us and and this is an out of his reach Like clearly this is something that he has ordained and I'm reading that he's good and that he's powerful, so he must be doing something in this. And if he's doing something in this and if there's no condemnation on me, since I'm in Christ, then one plus one must equal two. Then if he is powerful in this and if he's good and if he cares for me in this because I'm his daughter, then therefore this must be according to his good and gracious plan, like his ultimate good plan for my sanctification and my joy in him and for his glory. And it just totally switched my perspective of feeling just a sweet intimacy with the Lord in the midst of this crazy chaotic season.
Speaker 1:Wow, that is so powerful. Just, I cannot even imagine sitting there and looking at your baby and just that's all you can turn into. I mean, how else, how else do you do it? And thank you for sharing that, because I really love that.
Speaker 1:And just, you said the memory scripture memory that's something you know, that we teach our children and do little scriptures and stuff, and sometimes I think that that's so great though that we need to do that too. Like that can change your day in your life and whenever you are weary, like you have that in your heart and in your soul to rely on whenever you can't rely on yourself. Yeah, so true. I just I love that so much. And, nicole, you have shared something that I found was so interesting that you find one of your callings and being a helpmate to your husband. Um, I feel like in today's culture, that's not like a popular thing to say or do, and whenever I read that on your paper I was like I love that so much because, as wives and as women, like that is truly what we're created for. Um, so I would love to hear a little bit about your calling as being a helpmate for your husband, seth, and just what led you to that and what is on it, and tell us more.
Speaker 2:Yes, man, I do this so imperfectly. I have been saved by God's grace and now I live in God's grace, in God's undeserved favor. So it's like, oh Lord, thank you for giving me grace in this. So, yeah, I do this very imperfectly, but I'm grateful for God's grace in my weaknesses and failures in in this. But, um so, yeah, I do this very imperfectly, but I'm grateful for God's grace in my weaknesses and failures in doing this. Um so, yeah, in our marriage this looks um more like a mindset that the Lord's given me of um through his word um of, of just having this mindset of how can I help Seth thrive in his calling? I mean, I feel like there's so many passages that can encourage and affirm that.
Speaker 2:And even just in the garden, in the Garden of Eden, how God made, how Adam was in the Garden of Eden, how there wasn't a helpmate for him. But you know, everyone else had a partner and there wasn't a helpmate suitable for Adam. So then God made Eve to be his helpmate, his helper. And, fun fact, that same word helper in, I think, the Hebrew, is the same word that the Lord uses to describe the Holy Spirit, how the Holy Spirit is our helpmate and um and helper, and so that's not to say that now we are our husband's Holy Spirit, but it's just man. If this role of being a helper is good enough for the Holy Spirit, like who am I to be like? No, I don't want it. I don't want to be a helper If the Holy Spirit isn't complaining about. No, I don't want to be a helper. Like who do I think I am to be like? No, like. It's just so interesting that the same Hebrew word is used to describe a wife's role as with the Holy Spirit's role, and again, the wife is not her husband's Holy Spirit, and that there's a lot of damage that can come when we think we are. But we, I think, are designed to complement and to help our husbands as their helpmates.
Speaker 2:So again, I take on this mindset of how can I help Seth thrive in his calling and in his gifts, so in his calling to lead us and our family, in his calling to use his spiritual gifts, like identifying his spiritual gifts and seeing those and helping him thrive in using his gifts and then thrive in providing for us. So just helping even him identify what his calling is. And I mean he is such an intelligent, strong, godly man that he, by God's grace, knows what his calling is. And, and I mean he is such an intelligent, strong, godly man that, um, he, by God's grace, knows what his calling is. And so, um, I try and help him thrive in that. So, like, practically looks for us, um, just a couple of things, um, so one, um, again having that mindset of how can it help Seth just thrive.
Speaker 2:So first I'll just pray for him a bunch, um, because the Holy Spirit can help him and, um, and can do these things that I can't or can convict him in ways that, um, I wouldn't be able to. So I'll pray for him a bunch and I'll just cheer him on, I'll try and be just his cheerleader and encourage her, um, and then another thing that I do to try and just help him thrive is, uh, in being his helpmate, is I'll try and take things off of um, just off of his plate or schedule um, that I know are going to be frustrating for him, um, and and then, along with that, like when he comes home, I'll try, and from work, then I'll try and create a, by, by God's grace, just a relaxing, warm environment for him to come home to. That is always the goal. That does not always happen, and especially as a mom with the littles, it's like sometimes everybody's. The kids are naked and there's poop in the corner and I'm burning something, right.
Speaker 1:But the goal but in your heart I'm burning something Right, but the goal, but in your heart you were going to have it together.
Speaker 2:If God's grace is just extra that day, then yeah that is always the goal.
Speaker 2:So I try and like prep things before I know when he's going to come home.
Speaker 2:He comes home just about every day at the same time, so I'll try and like a half hour before like get things ready to prepare for that relaxing time for him to come home to, just so, yeah, again I can, I can help him thrive in as his helpmate. So I'll try and be cooking dinner, have dinner ready. I'll try and have just relaxing music playing and have the boys like entertain, doing something. Or a lot of times, like our youngest who has special needs, I'll have him in his high chair just having a snack so he's calm, and then our youngest will I'll just like lay out some Legos for him to play with him, Just try and make it calm for him. Or, yeah, I'll take things off of his plate that I know that, like mowing the lawn or just doing things so that he can rest when he gets home, and just trying to help him. Um, and then just some other quick things, Um, like if again, to help him thrive. Um, a lot of times like I'm online more than he is just with my Bible study resource stuff. So a lot of times I'll see like resources for families that he won't know about or he's not online, so he just doesn't see a lot of like these helpful resources. So if I know that he is wanting to lead like our boys in some family devotional or me in a family devotional, or if he's wanting to lead in some certain way, then I will kind of do the homework for him and just look up like, okay, what are some really solid theological but like kid-friendly resources, and then I'll send them his way and suggest them and just help him, help, push him up and help him in his leadership. And then the last thing too, I'll just say I'll just submit to to his decisions once he's made one.
Speaker 2:And that's what scripture says to the wife submit to your husband in everything. And and by God's grace, you know the passage above that. Then it says that you know, Christians submit to each other, and, and in Ephesians five or I think that's Ephesians five says so you know it's talking about living together as Christians. And so I think it's verse 22 or 21 that it says so, submit to each other in this mutual submission. And so it's talking about all Christians in general. And then the passage goes on to the very next verse.
Speaker 2:So this is what this mutual submission looks like for wives and husbands. This is what this mutual submission looks like for wives and husbands. This is what this mutual submission looks like for parents and kids, and this is what this mutual submission looks like for bond servants and masters. And so I love how scripture is just laid out where man, I have a husband that cares about me and my opinion and values my opinion in these things, so he takes that into consideration and submission to me in that sense.
Speaker 2:But at the end of the day, then, it is like wives, like your role in this, then, is to submit to your husband like in everything not in some things, but obviously not in sin, because we submit to our husbands out of submission to the Lord, so we don't want to sit against the Lord in that. But yeah, how just. I think that that is a blessing to his leadership too, and being his helpmate and helping him thrive and, just by God's grace, trying to just joyfully submit once a decision is made and then being his cheerleader and praying for him, knowing that the Lord is sovereign over all of it.
Speaker 1:I love that because I feel like, like we said, like in culture, I feel like it can be so talked about to like complain about your husband or talk bad about your husband, you know, whatever it may be, and that is just not true and that's not what we're meant to do. So I really, really love that, yeah, and I just I never know how to approach that in conversations. Like what practical advice would you give for a mom who, whether they're like out with their friends or whatever it may be in conversation, just to not engage in that and not you don't have to be rude or correct other people, but just what are ways that you can just not engage in it? I guess?
Speaker 2:Totally. I think that it kind of goes along with just gossip too, just the synonym gossip In Greek, then the exact translation for the word gossip in our Bibles is secret slander. That's the just exact translation. And so gossip is secret slander, and so often we as wives are, I think, tempted to secretly slander our husbands because they are imperfect people and they are going to sin and they're not going to lead us perfectly and we're not going to follow perfectly. And so I think, when I'm in those situations which I have been in, and even in just situations of gossip, I think leading with empathy and prayer are two really helpful things that I've found, where someone's saying you know, oh, my husband this and this, and he's just off and he doesn't know what he's doing, and this and this and just trash talking, the secret slander of your husband.
Speaker 2:I'll just try and lead with empathy and prayer. And so I'll just go oh, man, like that sounds really hard for you and that sounds hard for him. And man, you know he's probably I wonder what's going on in his mind. Like, you know, he's probably overwhelmed. And if she's like, oh no, he's just an idiot man, let's pray for our husbands together, because I know my husband needs prayer too. Like let's just pray for our husband and then I'll just write them in there. Like, lord, heavenly Father, like would you just encourage my friend's husband, would you encourage my husband, would you encourage us?
Speaker 1:And just trying to subtly lovingly like let's just turn this way with this conversation Right and redirect it, and some people might even not realize that they're doing it and I think doing that too. Then that gives them another alternative to praying for their husband instead. Maybe that just reworks like an idea in the brain. So I really love that and okay. So you talked a little bit about how you know Seth might want to disciple your boys through different things or like kid, kid friendly learning and you homeschool. So I know that's a big part of your calling. You're not only a teacher like teaching the academics to your boys, but you're giving your boys a strong foundation in theology. So what does that practically look like in your home and why do you feel it's so important to disciple your kids in the word from such a young age?
Speaker 2:Good question. Yeah, we've been so blessed with knowing about some really really solid resources. So we love Tiny Theologians things. She's someone on Instagram too, Amy, I forgot her last name, but Tiny Theologians, wonderful.
Speaker 2:And they actually have a podcast that we listen to all the time. That's like it's just on and on a ton and it will. It's just this kid's podcast. It's like 10 minutes or so and it will. It's just this kids podcast. It's like 10 minutes or so and it teaches kids just the attributes of God or just different things about the Lord in this friendly storytelling, really engaging, kid way, Super, super solid. And then we love you, just we just love resources, solid biblical resources. So then we love the New City Catechism. That's like a kid. So catechisms are like questions and answers in the faith and there's lots of different catechisms for just different denominations or different things. But like, we love the Westminster Catechism and that's more for adults, but the New Westminster Catechism and that's more for adults, but the New City Catechism is kind of like a kid version of that. But honestly, like I love it because it simplifies things Sometimes in the.
Speaker 2:Westminster Catechism. It's like I'm confused.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Like what did you just say? Yeah, yes, and so the New City Catechism. You know it's not an exact remake, but but they just try and put things in more kid friendly way. Um, there's new city catechism songs on Spotify, and so they put the question and answer like um, one of them is like what is our only hope in life and death? And it's like kids singing, it's like a Christian kids bop Hope in life and death? And it's like kids singing.
Speaker 1:It's like a Christian kids bop.
Speaker 2:I like that Right. So that's like the question what is our only hope in life and death? And then some other little kid will sing that we are not our own but belong to God, and that we are not our own but belong to God, and then it's like that's the end of the little song to God. And then it's like that's the end of the little song. And so it's this whole big list of like little kids singing these questions and these big questions, but in like phrased in a kid way, and then kids singing and answering them in a kid friendly way. So new city catechism songs they're great.
Speaker 2:And then lastly, just lots of like random conversations with primarily Russell and having sweet breaths and however much he understands. Just listening to that. And in those conversations I want, yeah, how do I? I loved how you I forgot how you phrased that, but I loved how you phrased of I want to teach them, not just academically, but I want to show them God's love and I want to teach them about the Lord and raise them up to be little warriors in Christ. So part of that with you know, I want to give them the tools of solid theology, but I also want them to see just the practical personalness of faith too and not just fill their head with knowledge. So, by God's grace, he's given me, god's given me, a love for himself, and so I try to make that known. I think the generation before us like our parents, I think, or even the generation before that had a very like personal faith where it's kind of like, do you love the Lord? Like I can't really see that and it's just, and that was just their generation of it's just. Things are personal and they don't really share them, and that's just the generation. But something that I love about our generation is we're so raw and so much more willing to be vulnerable, and so I want to just capitalize on that for our kids, and so I want my boys to see how I love God.
Speaker 2:So so often I'll be cooking something with loud worship music playing and there will just be some worship song. That will just make me ball to the Lord, because I love singing worship and just making that like a prayer to the Lord. So I'll be cutting onions or cutting up something and then I'll just stop and get on my knees and just making that like a prayer to the Lord. So I'll be cutting onions or cutting up something. And then I'll just stop and get on my knees and just close my eyes and just cry and just belt out this worship to the Lord. And you know, not like oh, are my kids watching? But just like just living very publicly in love with the Lord.
Speaker 2:And if they see that praise God and just wanting to not hide my love for the Lord but wanting that to be very public to them, russell will be like mommy, are you talking to me? And I'll be like no, I'm just talking to the Lord. Or um, or like if I'm crying or something, then mommy, are you like who are you talking to? Or why are you crying? And oh, mommy's just crying to God. Like mommy's heart is really heavy and so I just need to talk to God about this. Like do you want to talk to God? And then I'll just continue crying to the Lord, like Lord, I have no idea what I'm doing. God and I know your word says this and Lord, help me remember this and just having them see, not just filling them with knowledge, but having them see like mommy loves God and this is what this looks like to love God and just seeing the realness of that.
Speaker 1:Right, oh, that is so beautiful and it's just, he's not just a figure on the pages, he's not just someone in the books, like he walks with you. And I love that your boys see that, because then they truly do know whenever they're in those hard times, like, instead of praying in your head, they don't, they don't know that you're doing that, like now, they see you turn to God, when every time, like they know you are turning to God and sometimes, like you said, like our parents and our parents' parents, like it's not that they didn't do that, but we just, we just didn't know. Yeah, totally. Now we know.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I love that quote I don't know who says it, but more is caught than is taught, right, and so I can teach them all these things, but so much more is going to be caught, like, okay, mommy's saying these things, but like what is mommy doing, though? More is caught than is taught. And so I've tried to have that mindset too. Like my kids are probably going to forget what catechism songs and tiny theologians things say or different theological questions that I answer, but like, but I hope that they see and catch my love with the Lord and my intimacy and personalness with the Lord and that, and that they can just catch that.
Speaker 1:Right, oh, I love that and so that I mean we were just talking about how, in hard times, you turn to the Lord and you have shared. Something that is so hard is that you have a sweet little baby that's up in heaven. So if you'd be willing just to open up a little bit about that and your journey and your grief and hope that God has met you in in that walk and just speaking to any moms out there who have gone through something similar or, unfortunately, will go through something similar just a little something for their back pocket.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so sweet. Bell we named her was our first baby. We lost her to a missed miscarriage at 12 and a half weeks. So my husband and I were, I think, married for just a year or so and and we got pregnant and I was so excited and everything was looking good on the monitor, um, and then we went in for just a normal checkup for I think it was must've been like a 12 week heartbeat checkup or something and, um, they couldn't find a heartbeat in her. Um, but I had no bleeding, no cramping, nothing. Everything seemed normal, normal. I was even a little bloated. I looked like I had a little bit of something and my breasts were tender. I had all of these, I had sensitive smell. So I still had all of these pregnancy symptoms and it was just this weird mind game, almost, because I felt pregnant and I was was pregnant and my baby was still in me.
Speaker 2:But when they did the monitor, then they're just like there's no heartbeat. And I remember my husband, seth, you know, was with me and he prayed over my stomach and they're like, you know, we were thinking like maybe it's just really faint, like is the baby just going to have heart trouble? Like is it just hard to find. Like, what do we need to do to get like? We were just kind of delusional at that point but we're like, well, what do we need to do to get the heartbeat back? And you know, we were just in this daze and not even thinking straight and the the sweet lab tech was just like I'm so sorry, she's gone or they. They said baby's gone and from the beginning I just had a feeling that baby was a girl and so we named her Belle. We decided to name her because she is a baby. She was a baby and she had a full set of DNA, like she was a little person and I was her mom and so we wanted to name her like you would. Any other baby was her mom, and so we wanted to name her like you would any other baby.
Speaker 2:And I remember they were going to let me go a week seeing if my body would miscarry her, since her heart had stopped. But she was just still nice and tucked in me, and so we waited for a week and that week was agonizing, absolutely horrible, because I felt like I mean I felt pregnant, I didn't. I had all the signs and symptoms of pregnancy. I had that, that little bloating, and I knew that my baby was in me, like I saw her on the screen, I saw this little figure in me. And then they're over here telling me like that you know, my mom just was not in a good place, but I remember them telling me that if my body didn't discard her in a week then they would have to go in and do a DNC and take her out of me, because you can't have a dead body inside of you. That's just. They said that that can cause all these different you know, obviously organ things and organ failure and um, and just cause a whole heap of infection and understandable problems.
Speaker 2:Um, but at the time I it was this weird mind game because I felt like my husband at the time. He's like I feel like you're going crazy, and I felt like it too, um, because I felt like like I'm pregnant, my baby's in me, I don't feel any different, but they're telling me that in a week they're going to rip my baby out of my stomach, like, and so I literally I like contemplated, like running away to like protect my baby. And it was just like I truly felt like I was going crazy Cause I loved this little, this little baby in me and but she wasn't there anymore, um, and her soul was with the Lord and and I just had her body in me. But I couldn't register that at that time. I just felt like I was crazy. And so, long story short, my body didn't miscarry her and through lots of sweet conversations with my husband and my friends at the time and my mom, they were just like Nicole, you could die if you don't get this baby out. This isn't your baby anymore, this is just her body. She's not with you anymore. And it was just so hard for me to wrap my mind around and eventually I went in for the DNC. But before I did, I'm like can we just check one last time if there is a speck of a speck of any heartbeat? I was just so doubtful. And so they checked again and, sure enough, they're like no, and she had stopped growing like a week prior to, and so they're like she's not there. And so then we did the DNC and they gave us these sweet little boxes and things.
Speaker 2:And it was just a super, super hard time I remember in just physically and mentally and even just spiritually, wrestling with the Lord of why, like why would you put that baby in me just to take her away. And so in that season I just remember wrestling with the Lord and not coming to any conclusion, like to this day. I don't know why he allowed that, but I know that he did, and I was just encouraged by that. What Jesus says in the gospels of okay, lord, well, not my will, but yours be done, like I know, the Lord gives and he takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. And so I decided to rejoice that I even got to be her mom, that I still am her mom. I rejoice that she was formed in my womb and that we got to name her, and I rejoice that she was just tucked away, that all she knew was just the warmth of my body. And then, the first time she opens her eyes, then she's in the arms of Jesus.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I chose to just turn that into a spot of rejoicing for those things and trust the Lord with the hard times of. I don't know fully why this is happening, lord, but I know you're good and I know that your word says that, since I'm your child, then your heart is not to make me despair and condemn me and harm me, but your heart is that you will work all things out for my ultimate good, and so this must be for my ultimate good somehow, and so I'm just going to rejoice, right.
Speaker 1:Wow, that is beautiful, your sweet baby just opening her eyes and seeing Jesus.
Speaker 1:I cannot imagine and I feel like going through this too. I have talked with so many different moms who, like, have lost babies or had miscarriages or difficulty getting pregnant, just different things and so thank you for sharing and just kind of sharing your story and expressing that like this is your baby and you can name her and you can mourn her and grief and rejoice they can go hand in hand. But, like, your struggle is your struggle and just because it's not as big as someone else's struggle or it's different from someone else's struggle, like I feel like so many moms that I've talked about, they'll be like well, I don't know if I can really talk about this because like it was at this point or it was at this, but like it's almost like they downgrade their own struggle and it just breaks my heart.
Speaker 2:So I hope that if there's any mom out there listening that you can just truly find peace in this and like, like you said, like that was your baby and that is your baby and she was happy and so yep, Whether, whether that baby is, um, yeah, six weeks old or full term, or out of the womb, like that baby is your baby and that baby has its own little set of DNA and fingerprints and was crafted by the Lord and is your baby and you are that baby's mama. And so, whether, yeah, whether the Lord gave you that baby for just a couple of weeks in your womb, or whether that baby, whether the Lord gave you that baby for just a couple of weeks in your womb, or whether that baby, the Lord gave you that baby um, full term, it's like that is a human being and, um, and yeah, and you're it's mom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so beautiful. Well, let's move on to um, something a little lighter. You've said that one of your greatest joys is watching um, your older son, learn how to interact with his brother and include his brother. So has motherhood taught you? Or what has motherhood taught you about? Just like compassion and empathy and the way that God uniquely works through your children, even in hard moments moments.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, sweet Braxton, it's been so fun to just watch the Lord grow Russell, our older child's heart and and just the miracle of a life that Braxton, our younger one with special needs, just the miracle of his just life and existence and that he's still alive. God is so good. So they're just, they're both just a little walking miracles. We struggled to get pregnant with Russell, the older one, for a year and Braxton came pretty quickly, but actually we're coming on in August three years of infertility. So we're still struggling. But we've been trying to have a third baby and the Lord has sovereignly closed my womb and so their little lives, I feel like, are just walking testimonies of God's power and his sweet miracles that the Lord does and just his grace and his gifts to us. But I feel like especially and I mean this can apply for really any parent or mom, I'm sure can relate, and I mean this can apply for really any parent or mom, I'm sure can relate but I feel like in a really special way, when you have a special needs kid, and I mean especially, you know, with Braxton being nonverbal and still in diapers at almost five and he just learned to walk, like a year ago. Special needs kids are such a gift in so many ways but they are such a powerful picture of the gospel to us.
Speaker 2:I was reading this book and it made such a good point and it's so sad, but a lot of times in our society, I think unintentionally, we measure someone's worth or value by what they can do. Like, oh, that person's a speaker and um, or that person you know is a doctor, or did this or that or invented this thing, and we're like wow, like they're a big deal, like they and and even well-intentioned people who don't, I mean like that's how my mind works. Unfortunately, like oh Lord, help my mind. Like no, no, no, but unfortunately, like it's almost like we're just simply conditioned to almost think this way of unintentionally or unknowingly sometimes relating someone's worth or value with, like what they can do and how they can help people and what they can do for us. And I think that having a special needs kid and the more special needs, the more the gift, because having a special needs kid, like the sweet things, they can't do much, like they can't even give you the affirmation if they're nonverbal. They can't even give you the affirmation of I love you, mom or thank you, mom. You know they.
Speaker 2:And and sweet Braxton, like I don't know if I'm going to be changing his diapers until you know he's 40. And like I don't know what his life is going to hold. The Lord does and that's encouraging. But like, what a picture of the gospel, of our worth and my baby's worth. My baby still has call him a baby. My little five-year-old, almost five-year-old, still has just as much worth and just as much value as someone that's going and solving world hunger and having a cure for cancer and all these things. Like they are still made in the image of God and still have all the worth and all the value that anyone in society would. And it almost retrains your brain in this way of like oh like they can't even offer me the affirmation of like again. Like I love you mom. Thank you, mom. I don't even get that affirmation from him. I get his sweet little smiles, but there was a season when Braxton wasn't even get that affirmation from him. And I get his sweet little smiles. But there was a season when Braxton wasn't even able to smile because the seizure medication he was on just he was in like a drug coma and that's a whole other story. But like he couldn't smile for the longest time and we were just praying like for just one little smile, like every couple months, and so for a season, like he couldn't even give us a smile, let alone words.
Speaker 2:And so what a powerful picture of the gospel, of the Lord pouring out himself onto a people that can do nothing apart from him. Like we offer, we provide nothing for our salvation except the sin that made it necessary. Like we, we can't. The Lord doesn't need our works or need our good deeds, or even need our love, but he grants us the gift and the joy of being able to serve him, being able to love him and being able to do these cool things for him and using our gifts. But Lord doesn't need that. He's not a God that's needy.
Speaker 2:And so it's so sweet, like thinking about again just the gospel, living in God's unmerited favor, just a sweet gift of the gospel. As Jesus poured himself out for a people that could never offer anything to him, so also I get to pour out my life as an offering to my children, um, and especially my special needs kid, as just an offering of like I'm not going to get anything back from this, but I love you, and I'm doing this because you are loved and you have value in the Lord and you are made in the image of God and you are mine. I'm doing this because you are mine. I mean, man, when we're a child of God and when we're saved by God's sweet grace, then like that's God's heart to us. So, yeah, it's just a sweet picture of the gospel and of God's sweet grace that he just lavishes us with this grace onto a people that that can't ever offer anything back to him. And what a sweet shadow that we get to do that to our kids and and again, especially our special needs. Kids were like, man, I love you because you're mine. And and if we're, if we belong to the Lord and if we've been saved by his grace, then yeah, that's God's heart towards us. That man, nicole, you are mine and I love you.
Speaker 2:Not because you can go on a podcast and speak or because you made a little Amazon journal. The Lord doesn't need my Amazon journal. The Lord doesn't need me to my voice, Lord doesn't need me to speak at all. But it's like he's given me the ability to, and given me, you know, the joy to serve him in this way. But it's just like the Lord loves me because I'm his and I can offer nothing to him, um, but he just lavishes me with everything. So cool.
Speaker 1:Yes, he does. Oh, I love, love that, and I feel like that's just something that we could just yell from the rooftops. You're like whenever you, whenever you do yes, you said whenever you very first started on this like I feel like I no one told me this or I'd never heard this before, like this is just something that you want to just tell everyone, to stop them on the street and be like. You are made in the image of God. Therefore, you are loved and you are just sought after, and I just love that so much because that's just something that I feel like we can get wrapped up so much in the world and forget so easily. Oh, true, that is so good, nicole, this has been so amazing. Thank you so much for being on Mama of the Wild Crew podcast. I just feel like I sat here the whole time just in awe of everything that you were saying, and I'm so excited for the listeners to be able to listen to this, because you have just shared so much wisdom and you continue to share wisdom, like through your resources. So I really again encourage everyone to go out and follow Nicole, your heart, your wisdom, your faith. It is so refreshing and I know that so many women listening today are going to be walking away just so encouraged and so inspired to go deeper in God's word and their calling. As mothers, as wives, as daughters of the King. You have such a beautiful way of bringing truth, but just bringing it with just gentleness and boldness at the same time, and I'm just so grateful for the time you shared with us today.
Speaker 1:Again, anyone listening, I highly encourage you to go follow Nicole on Instagram. It's at biblestudyresources. I'll link it in the show notes. She shares so many rich practical tools for studying scripture, along with encouragement for everyday life and motherhood. Guys, don't forget to go check out her Bible study journal and handbook on Amazon. I'll link that too. I have it for myself. It is absolutely a powerful resource for learning how to actually study the word and go deeper in your faith. I'll make sure to link both of these things. They'll be included in the show notes so you can find them.
Speaker 1:And Nicole, again, thank you. You are such a gift and I'm so grateful to have you. Oh, thank you so much. I'm so honored that you invited me on. This was so much fun. It was so much fun, mama. I'm so grateful that you took time out of your busy schedule today to listen to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast. I'm Alexa Schmoker and I hope you love this conversation and that it resonated with you. Thank you so much for opening up your circle and letting us in as we walk through this wild ride of motherhood together. Remember, in the chaos of motherhood there is always joy to be found, so keep looking in those little moments that make it all worth it. Be sure to follow along on instagram at mama of the wild crew underscore podcast. Please don't forget to like, subscribe and share our podcast. I'd love to hear from you, so comment, tag me, dm me, let me know what you think and let me know what you'd like to hear next. Mama, I am praying for you, I love you and I cannot wait to see you next time.
