The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
Amidst the chaos of a family tragedy, two brothers confront their past and the choices that drove them apart. When Isaac refuses to go to his father's funeral, his brother Noah drives to Colorado to perform a good old fashioned kidnapping.
The Gentle Art of Making Enemies
The Gentle Art of Making Enemies Episode 4
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Learning the hard way his brother can't be trusted, Noah decides to zip tie Isaac to the truck door. A call with Kirsten gets everyone wound up when she finds out Noah broke Isaacs Nose.
Credits:
Noah- Tim Welch
Kirsten- Samantha Johnson
Miya- Tessa Thompson
Gabe- Wren Soryn
Isaac- Ben Kadaffi
Music:
WEARETHEGOOD, Lynnea-Outrun
Sightless in Shadow- Nosebleed Section
The Ghosts of Liberty-Daddy’s Daughter
Audio recorded by Matt Kuhl
Sound Solution Editing
Soundsolutionediting@gmail.com
Dialogue editing, sound design and foley done by Ben Kadaffi
Written and Directed by Ben Kadaffi
For The Gentle Art of Making Enemies merchandise go to www.whosaysproductions.com/store
With the truck working right along the road , again , the ultimate game of cat and mouse is going to ensue . Leaving these boys unattended can have dire effect on someone's mental fortitude . Just ask Kirsten , the poor woman has had to pull these boys apart with a broom more times than a dog sniffing another dog's ass . Noah has never trusted Isaac . Isaac can't sneeze without being called Judas , but that , my friends , is kind of justified .
Speaker 2What are you looking for ? A napkin for you ? You look like you forgot to clean your chin . What , oh , there they are . Yeah you look like you did some sexual favors for the hotel room . Reminds you of making the Dean's List in college . There , sasha Gray , here . Let me see your phone . I'll take a picture here . There's nothing there there , sure isn't , but I distracted you long enough . Oh shit , what is he doing ? I don't trust this fucking gorilla .
Speaker 4Fuck , he's coming Lock the door Lock the door Lock the door .
Speaker 2Are you serious ? You broke the lock when we were kids , dickberry . It hasn't worked in years . How would I know that you broke it ? What the hell are you doing ? Fucking ? Let go dude .
Speaker 2Since you like to sabotage things like a Bond villain , you are no longer allowed to leave the goddamn truck . So you zip , tie my left hand to the door . Yes , what if I have to piss ? There's an empty bottle there by your feet . If you have to go , stick your little willy in there . My apologies , are you post-operation ? I'll get you a shiwi while I'm inside , unless you would prefer a diaper . You know this is literal kidnapping , right , I know , and it's kind of exciting , I'll grab you somebody when I'm inside . Watch your feet asshole the fuck man . Noah's straight-up lost shit . Phone call , phone call . Get the fucking thing . Call for help . You , son of a bitch . Oops , fuck , I missed it . Angry Grego .
Speaker 1Kirsten , you can outrun the devil , but you ain't gonna outrun me the Gentle Art of Making Enemies , written and directed by Ben Gaddafi .
Speaker 4Episode 4 he's always on his phone Glued to it .
Speaker 5Jesus , all this work for a man who used to pronounce my name Kirsten oh , tell me about it , he always called me Mia Drove me crazy . Don't get me wrong . I loved the old bastard , but preparing for someone's funeral while his two boys are out fingering each other has me a little pissed off . Speak of the devil . Hello Kirsten Isaac . Where is Noah the devil ? Hello , kirsten Isaac where is Noah ?
Speaker 4Noah's fucking lost it . Okay , Turn it on speakerphone .
Speaker 2He left me in the truck and zip-tied me to the door handle . I'm pretty sure he's buying a shovel and finding a small child to take the blame when he buries my ass .
Speaker 5He what .
Speaker 2Zip-tied me to the fucking truck .
Speaker 4What did you do , Isaac ?
Speaker 5Who is that ? It's Gabriel .
Speaker 2Who the fuck ?
Speaker 5is that it's Maya Maya , like Maya Maya ? Yes , now what the fuck is going on ?
Speaker 2Well , Kirsten , your husband has gone nuts and zip-tied me to the truck door .
Speaker 5How many times do I have to say this ? Why did he zip-tie you to the door ?
Speaker 2Because he's three whippets shy of being mentally handicapped . I don't know .
Speaker 4He totally did something , oh guaranteed .
Speaker 2Why would you assume I did something ?
Speaker 4Isaac , we know your family , we know you .
Speaker 5That silence is the sound of guilt .
Speaker 2Isaac , Fuck you guys Call the police . I'm being held against my will . I think that's a little more important . Where are you guys ? I think on Highway 30 somewhere , maybe Julesburg . What does it matter ?
Speaker 4Highway 30 ? Why didn't you take the interstate ?
Speaker 2How many people am I talking to ?
Speaker 4There's three of us , but why take Highway 30 ? The speed limit's only 55 . Pete , who the fuck is Pete ? No , this is Gabe Isaac . When are you ?
Speaker 5back .
Speaker 2Now , who's this ?
Speaker 4Maya .
Speaker 2My ex-Maya . Well , this is awkward .
Speaker 5Isaac focus . What the hell is taking you guys so long ? Jesus , Kirsten , take me off the speakerphone . All I want to know is if you guys are on your way back yet , why are there so many people at your house ? I heard like nine people butt in Because we are going through photos for your dad's funeral , something that you two dickheads should be doing right now and they all had to listen in . God damn it . Kirsten , like your brother , I'm gonna break your nose .
Speaker 2Well , lucky for me , Noah already did that .
Speaker 5What , why ? You know what ? Just don't answer that .
Speaker 4What happened ?
Speaker 5Uh , apparently Isaac's nose is broken . What , how he collided with Noah's fist .
Speaker 2I would presume you boys get back here in one piece . Do you hear me Tell that to your crazy-ass husband ? Who are you talking to and why the hell do you look like you're farting in the air ?
Speaker 5vent , I mean it . Do you both want to learn how to spell eunuch ?
Speaker 2It's your wife . She wants to know how to spell eunuch . What E-U-N-U-C-H ? She's a fucking literary major . What the hell is she asking ?
Speaker 5Just quit fucking around and get home safe . I am done playing mother to a couple of baboons .
Speaker 2Why are you on the phone with my wife Easy there , psycho . She wanted to know where we were . Oh , oh here I got you some food Heads up . Oh , I love them . You hit me in the nose . I'm well aware . Give me the phone , you fucking dick . Oh God , I think I'm bleeding again . Hey , baby , we'll be home here in a few hours , I promise .
Speaker 5Just quit fucking around and don't let Isaac near any mechanical parts . Sure thing , I love you . I love you too . Children , they're both children .
Speaker 2Hey , give me your knife . No , what am I going to do ? Stab you . I don't know how hard you're coming down on whatever fucking drugs you've been on . Yeah , give me the knife so I can kill us all . I want to cut myself free . Noah , I'm still strapped to the fucking door here . I want this back , thank you .
Speaker 2So Maya still hangs out with you guys ? Well , yeah , she's Gabriel's stepsister . Just because you two stop diddling each other doesn't mean we're going to kick her out of our lives too . So she hangs out there regularly . I guess why ? I'm just curious . Oh , do you miss her ? Shut up . Good luck with that . Yeah , she's got a boyfriend anyway , doesn't she ? Some prick named Lucas . The guy needs to be hit by a fucking Buick . Really , how Well ? I would imagine someone would press their foot on the accelerator really , really hard until it couldn't go down any farther and they aim for him as he's crossing the fucking street . Dude , you know what I mean ? He's super controlling . He talks down to her . It's that kind of shit . I'm surprised Maya hasn't laid him the fuck out yet . So sounds like they're breaking up soon then . Huh , you don't stand a chance . Queef McQueen , why not ? Why not ? You ghosted her . You honestly think she would take you back after you just up and left her for Colorado . Yeah , good point .
Speaker 1Good point .
Speaker 2I'm agreeing with you . Still funny , I fucked up . I know that Fucked up is putting it lightly . What's that supposed to mean ? Isaac , you quit your accounting gig with the city to become some junky Instagram model . Your detective skills are amazing . You're doing great . Okay , here's what I know . You do not work , you do not pay taxes . All you do is snowboard and get high . You contribute nothing to society and you rub it in everybody's fucking face . That's seriously how you view my life . Yes , why ? I just told you why no , why do you think that's what I'm doing with my life ? Because that's how your life really is . So I'm just some unemployed , fucking snowboard junkie . You know how much a season pass on the mountain actually is ? I'd imagine free if you give the right guy a tug in the parking lot , never mind . Where's that sandwich ? God , this looks like shit . Is this thing even edible ? I eat them all the time . You'll be fine . You've also eaten canned dog food . When you were drunk , dude , I thought it was tuna . Tuna doesn't smell and taste like fart , noah , fine .
Speaker 3I'll eat the sandwich Mmm . Just as good as dog food .
Speaker 2Did you get anything else ? Nope , what ? No , I did not .
Speaker 3No chips , anything , nope , I ate my sandwich in the store .
Speaker 1I got one for you and a couple of sodas here . Here you go , champ .
Speaker 3Gee , thanks , no problem . Well , you have a few , but who's counting , am I right , god , you're hysterical . I know God gave me a gift . He gave you crabs , and now , if you be a good boy and stop talking , I'll get you treated the next time .
Speaker 2Oh , fuck you .
Speaker 3Oh , fuck you .
Speaker 5I swear to God that those two are the worst together .
Speaker 4So Noah broke his nose and zip-tied him to the truck .
Speaker 5How much of that is bullshit , though ? My guess is none of it .
Speaker 4What they have always had a fucked-up relationship . Fucked-up is putting it mildly . Well , I knew they argued all the time , but I haven't heard of anything like this . Isaac never mentioned anything while we were dating , at least , oh God , the stories I could tell you .
The Game of Cat and Mouse Begins
Speaker 4Isaac ain't gonna mention much , because usually it was just him getting his ass kicked Really . Yeah , Gabe is right . Well , that explains why he was so dead set on watching John Wick movies when he would come home from a family function . Eh nah , he's probably just watching Tybo infomercials . Shit , it's Lucas . I have to leave .
Speaker 5You know , it's not a good sign that you become depressed when your boyfriend calls you no . He just gets a bit pissy when I'm not with him , you mean , he's an asshole .
Speaker 4I don't want to talk about it .
Speaker 5He deserves a severe beating Maya . Whatever , I'll call you guys later . Maya , come here . What ? Kirsten ? I'm just going to throw this out there . I totally know a guy with a pig farm , if you ever need him to just disappear .
Speaker 1The Gentle Art of Making Enemies . Starring Tim Welsh , Ben Gaddafi , Samantha Johnson , Ren Soren , Katie Lee Rumpf , Tessa Thompson , Alexander Hamilton , Ryan Rumpf , Nick Vodka , Jason Flynn . Written and directed by Ben Gaddafi .