Tea, Tales, and Tomes

Why Kids Love Spooky Stories: Science, Childhood, and Joy

• Natasha • Season 2 • Episode 3

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I've been getting some flack about my obsession with all things spooky this season and I totally get why some of us steer clear of the scary, the unusual, or anything that might feel like we are going against our faiths and beliefs.

So today, I am diving into the science and soul of spooky season - how safe fear lights up the brain, teaches emotional regulation, and gives kids (and grown-ups) a surprising edge in real-life resilience. From South African springtime reflections to the glow of American Halloween lore, we share a personal journey that begins with a battered copy of Dracula and the sting of shame that followed, then turn that experience into a playbook for parents who want to keep curiosity intact without sacrificing sleep.

If you’re wondering how to navigate scary stories at home, we offer a clear, compassionate toolkit: pair fear with comfort (lights on, cocoa ready), guide rather than forbid, calibrate the “spice level,” and debrief after tough themes to turn shivers into skills. Match content to temperament, not nostalgia, and keep shame out of the room so curiosity can do its good work. By the end, you’ll see Halloween and haunted pages as cosy laboratories for courage and imagination and not moral tests... humane tools for making sense of the unknown.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who loves a cozy fright, and leave a quick review to help more bookish friends find us. 

Find us on Instagram @teatalesandtomes and don't forget to join us next time for more bookish wonder.

Podcast music by Lundstroem (Episode 1 onwards) and Audionautix (TTAT Trailer). Podcast edited by Timothy Wiggill.

SPEAKER_00:

Hello, bookish friends. This is Natasha, and you're listening to Tea Tales and Tomes, where we are living our favorite lives, talking books and drinking hot beverages. Except it's October, so not only are we living our favorite reading lives, we're also living our spookiest. This month is all about ghostly tales, pumpkin spiced hauntings, and the deliciously eerie stories that make October reading feel so magical. Now, something that comes up often when I chat with people is how mixed of the feelings about Halloween can be. And I get it, it does have pagan roots after all. And here in South Africa, it's spring, it's not even autumn. So all those oranges that are typically associated with Halloween should maybe be green. But anyway, it's not really a traditional holiday. And for many people, religious reasons mean steering clear of it altogether, which I respect completely. But for those of us who grew up on a steady diet of American shows, there's another side to it. Safe streets lined with kids chick-o-treating, costumes galore, buckets of candy, and all that delicious lore. Honestly, it looked magical, and I don't think dipping into that fun takes anything away from who we are, our culture or our faith. It just adds another layer of joy, of memory making. Maybe it's just me, but I really do. I love embracing all that this beautiful and diverse world has to offer. Whether it is Navaratri or Diwali or Christmas or Halloween, I just think if my children are exposed to the wonderful array of festivals and cultures and faiths that we have around us, they are going to grow up to be wonderfully, amazingly accepting human beings. And we could do with a lot more acceptance. At the end of the day, I'm not about shaming anyone for choosing or not choosing traditions. But also, it's not like I'm out here chanting under a blood moon or raising the dead in my garden. If I were leading some kind of late-night seance in the neighborhood, then yes, you should probably take offense. But me handing out chocolate or good books, spooky ones even, and admiring mini witches and superheroes at the gate, that feels like harmless, wonderful fun. And that's why I was probably so enchanted even as a kid by the spooky and the gothic. Which brings me to my own story of finding spooky magic as a child. Because for me, it began with Bram Stoker's Dracula. When I was about 11 or 12, I discovered Bram Stoker's Dracula in the library. To me, it was a revelation. It was the first time I had ever read anything like it. Not just the vampire spooky aspect. I'm talking about the way it was written, in the form of letters and diary entries, the exquisite language, the shadowy gothic setting. Obviously, I had no idea what gothic setting was. What I did know was that reading the words made me feel as if I was walking in Transylvania along those dark and dusty, cold streets. It evoked this wonderful sense of eeriness. And it wasn't even that I was scared of Dracula, even though he is a pretty amazing villain. It was actually that I felt so connected to Jonathan and Mina Hawker, simply because of the manner in which the author wrote these characters. It was spooky enough to keep me glued to the pages, but not so terrifying that it gave me nightmares. But then my visiting aunt and uncle spotted the book. Obviously I was carrying it around with me everywhere. Why are you reading demonic things like this? They asked. You need to read better things. They even told my parents about it, and what followed was a whole bunch of ugliness. And when I think back at that time, I still kind of have this ugly feeling in my gut. I was a pretty strong-minded child, but even I couldn't shake the sting of shame their words left behind. So that's why in today's Halloween special we're diving into the real science of why children and adults are so often drawn to the spooky, the eerie, and the macabre. We'll look into the psychology, biology, and developmental research that shows this pull isn't about being dark or demonic, it's about being human, and there is absolutely nothing to feel shame about it. Alright, so let's start with the big question. Why does fear sometimes feel good? Psychologists actually call this recreational fear. It's the same reason we ride roller coasters or tell ghost stories at sleepovers. Studies of haunted house visitors show that fear is most enjoyable in a Goldilocks zone. Just enough to thrill, not so much that it overwhelms. So too little fear and you're bored. Too much and you're actually going to be miserable. But in that sweet spot, the brain lights up, heart rate rises, adrenaline flows, and then relief. That roller coaster drop or spooky reveal leaves you buzzing and sometimes even laughing. Maybe with a little bit of hysteria, but you're still laughing. It's hitting all of the right nodes. And this just isn't about adrenaline junkies. Researchers at the Recreational Feel Lab, yes, something like that actually exists, have found three main types of spooky story fans. The first one is your adrenaline junkies who chase the rush of the scare. The second one they call white knuckles who grip tightly during the moment but afterward feel super proud for having faced it. And the last one, your dark copers. These are people who actually use spooky stories as a way to process their real life anxieties. I mean, how amazing is this? Science is so cool because it's able to classify and categorize things in these neat boxes. And we know that not everyone can be classified into a neat box. But it is sometimes so satisfying to know that these categories exist. So even with that simple thrill, there are different motivations and they're all valid and nothing to be ashamed of. So if we take a little bit more of a deeper look, what do the spooky stories teach us? A couple of weeks ago I did an Instagram post in which I explored the trope of the friendly ghost and why it's so common. I mean, a trope by the virtue of the word itself is something that happens a lot. And the friendly ghost, in my Instagram post, I go into some deep dives as to it being something that allows children to explore themes of isolation, solitude, being excluded, and other things. It even went deeper into saying things like, you know, ghosts are actually liminal beings, meaning that they kind of exist in this in-between world. And that's essentially what childhood is. You're no longer a baby, but you're also not an adult. So maybe it's very relatable. And this is why children gravitate towards those stories. So let's let's go a little bit deeper here in the podcast. So, what do spooky stories teach us? Here's where it gets even more fascinating. Spooky stories aren't just thrills, they're actually training grounds. I know, right? Wait, just wait for it. So when a child listens to a ghost story or reads a chilling chapter, they feel fear rise, but they also practice something called downshifting. Breathing, giggling, hiding under the blanket. That's emotional regulation in action. They learn, I can feel scared, and then I can calm down. I can make myself calm down. Studies even show that people who enjoy horror may be more resilient in real-life scary situations. It teaches is something called resilience spillover. So during the COVID-19 epidemic, people who already enjoyed horror showed greater psychological resilience and preparedness, consistent with the idea that practice with safe fear can inoculate a bit against real-world stress. So essentially, people that were already tending towards reading scary books like your Stephen King or your Dean Koons or watching horror movies or things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer tended to have greater psychological resilience. It's as if the safe scares gave them rehearsal time for the big, unpredictable stage of reality. And for children, spooky play fuels imagination. Developmental research shows kids get better year by year at separating fantasy from reality. So even when they half believe in monsters under the bed, they know those monsters are contained in story. And that tension, knowing it's pretend while still feeling a thrill, exercises imagination in powerful ways. So, you know, I've seen this with my kids, not really in terms of reading now, but when we play hide and seek, or even when you play tag, there's a little bit of a thrill there because in hide and seek, you're hiding, and my kids love hiding in our cupboards at home, in our clothes cupboards, and then they hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. My littlest literally can't hold it in. He will literally eek and giggle. They love that safe thrill. You know, doing my research for this episode was incredibly fascinating, and it kept taking me back to times when my kids were doing things that were scary, whether it was reading books that were a little bit scary, or doing more adrenaline-fueled stuff like ziplining, or even playing hide and seek with mom and dad. But I guess what you're actually wondering, do kids know that it's real? And what if they don't? You know, what if they take this trip down the macabre and then they're stuck there? But development does matter. So fantasy versus reality isn't as fuzzy as we may think. By preschool, many children already use context and testimony to judge what's real. They get steadily better with age. Even young kids can treat monsters as story while still getting pleasantly spooked by them. Imagination is a feature, it's not a bug. Developmental research shows pretend play and imaginative thinking are central to learning how to reason about possibilities, exactly the mental muscles spooky stories flex. So, what can we do as the caring adults in a child's life to make sure that when our children come to us and want to share their Bram Stoker Dracula, whatever it is, because to be honest, I would have loved if my parents sat down with me and instead of saying, Don't read that, ask me a bit more about what it was about. What do I enjoy about it? Because I can tell you that I wouldn't have said, Oh, I love vampires and I want to be a vampire and I want to drink blood. I would have said, you know, I really love that it's written in this form. Can you see how it's written in the form of diary entries and letters? I want to keep a diary. In fact, that book and that book alone is what made me want to write more. And if I had that conversation with my parents and if they took an interest in it, in whatever way, whether it was let's watch the movie together or let us read it and then let's chat about it, it would have built the most amazing core memory for me. And to this day, instead of feeling shame in my gut when I think about that time, I would light up with a wonderful moment with my safest adults, right? So, how can we as parents navigate our children's interest in these thrilling spooky macabre reads or experiences? The first one is don't panic. Curiosity about the spooky isn't a sign of sociopathy, it's a developmental phase and often a joyful one. You have to be able to be curious about everything that our children do. Curiosity as a parent is the one way you are going to ensure that you win in every interaction with your child. The second way is to pair fear with comfort. So lights on, cocoa in hand, a trusted adult nearby, those cozy things will frame the spooky as fun. Number three, guide but don't forbid. Active mediation, like reading together, talking through scary parts, has better outcomes than outright bans. It's always difficult for us as parents, especially if we've got kids that are nine, ten, and above who want to now go in there and choose their own books. It's very difficult because we can't read everything. We can't know exactly what it is that they're being exposed to. But that's why it's important for us to make sure that we fill them up with the tools so that when they do pick up a book, they know whether this is a safe story to read or whether this is something that they need to now come to us and discuss. Keeping those doors open is the best way to keep your children safe. And lastly, know the spice level. If the story leads to sleepless nights, scale it back. If it feels too tame, they may be ready for the next level. So you know your kids and you will know when something is just too scary for them. It happened to me recently when I was reading a book called Maxwell the Nightmare Hunter, and it was about a boy. It was touted as being a book for your eight to twelve, and it was about a young boy who could go into people's nightmares and help them defeat the bad guys, basically. Help them to defeat their nightmares so that the nightmares don't cause them any harm in the real world. That was the that was just the gist of the book. And it was a graphic novel. So graphic novels are also difficult sometimes to really gauge what the age level is. So I start reading it to both my kids, my six-year-old and my eight-year-old, and my eight-year-old is in it. You know, you can see he's he's fully immersed, but my six-year-old starts to get a little bit fidgety, and his eyes are as big as sources, but not in a good way. And I could sense that this was not a book for him. The themes were just a little bit above his age level, even though he was interested, I could tell that the fear level was a little bit too high. So I gently put the book down and I said, you know, Kai, I think this is one that you and I are going to read together, but not when jazz is around, because I think it's a little bit too scary for jazz, and that's okay. And I asked Jazz, I said, Do you find this scary? And he said, Yeah, it's it's too scary for me, it's gonna give me nightmares, and that was fine. Kai was a little bit bummed because now we weren't reading it out loud, and he was really into the story, but he could pick it up, even if he wanted to leave read aloud time at that moment to go and read the story or continue the book by himself, that was fine. And Jazz and I just picked up pumpkin heads or chicka chicka chicka treat and started reading that instead. Lastly, normalized curiosity about the dark. Morbid curiosity is a real construct. Exploring danger from a distance is part of how humans learn. This is why Halloween is so exciting, because kids get to be out at night running around when they typically have to be in bed or be indoors. Everything is outside, but it's all within a safe boundary. Parents are usually there, everyone else is out. I'm also not necessarily dressed as myself. I get to go as something else, so that gives me an additional level of protection. Isn't it fascinating? It's it's I'm sorry, I'm just sitting here and talking to you guys, and this the whole psychology behind Chico Treating and Halloween and scary books is blowing my mind. And I hope that you are feeling that that that too. I really hope that you're feeling that too. So ultimately, frame that morbid curiosity as learning and not as a moral flaw. Keep the shame outside, completely out of any of your interactions with your child. Because trust me, that shame sticks in their gut. Even if it happened at 11 and they're now 42 years old, it's still there. So here's five quick points for you. Number one, co-regulate, don't just restrict. Media studies consistently find that active mediation, watching or reading together, naming feelings, asking, what would you do, beats blanket bans for long-term outcomes. Over control can backfire, and guidance will always assist them in building judgment. This is the reason why we fill their hearts and their minds with the good stuff now, the good literature, the good words, the ability to discern what they can handle at their particular reading level or age or or what is the other thing called when you age restriction on a show, I guess. The other one is you need to hit that Goldilocks zone. Offer choices that feel a little spicy but not scorching. If a child is white knuckling and losing sleep, it's too hot. If they're bored, gently level up. Those haunted house data points apply surprisingly well to books and to films. Another one is to name the safety frame. So before the story, you need to kind of tell kids this is made up, we're safe on the couch. And during, you want to ask, do you want to pause? Is this getting a little bit too scary? And then after, it's a good idea to debrief, especially if it is a book that has dealt with difficult themes. And this is not just for Halloween reads or Halloween movies or or spooky things. This is for every story. How did you, you know, I think it's a great idea to have a little bit of uh a debrief, you know. Were there any parts that made you feel a bit scared? Um, you know, how did you calm down? You know, I noticed you making yourself into a blanket burrito. I saw that you were taking some deep breaths, I saw you giggling a little bit. That's emotion regulation training disguised as fun. Another one is to match their content to temperament. Some kids are adrenaline type, others are growth type, and some are copers. Follow their profile, not your nostalgia. Like with everything, every child is different. You, as the parent or primary caregiver, will know. You will know your child. Don't be afraid to put a book down, go to something else, and come back to it later if you want to, or don't come back to it at all, if it's not for you. So here's the takeaway, bookish friends. Spooky stories aren't dangerous, they're deeply human. They give us thrills, help us practice courage, teach us to regulate emotions, and spark our imaginations. When children or adults reach for something macabre, they're not falling into darkness. They're engaging with one of the oldest, most universal ways humans make sense of the unknown. So, this Halloween, may your reads be just scary enough to send a shiver down your spine and cozy enough to remind you that you're safe, held, and very much alive. Don't forget to join us next time for more Bookish Wonder.

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Natasha

Host
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Timothy Wiggill

Editor