Evolved Men Podcast
The Evolved Men Podcast is for men committed to growth, confidence, and deeper connections. Through real conversations on personal development, social skills, and leadership, we provide the tools to help you evolve into your boldest, most authentic self. For more information about the Evolved Men Project go to: http://www.evolvedmenproject.com
Evolved Men Podcast
Identifying and Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
What quiet belief have you been living by that you never consciously chose?
Every man carries an unconscious narrative that dictates how he moves through the world—when to speak up, when to hold back, what he's worthy of, and who he's allowed to become. These stories weren't deliberately selected; they were formed in moments of vulnerability, rejection, or shame, often years ago. Without realizing it, these emotional agreements become the operating system for your entire life.
In this deeply personal episode, I share my own journey with the persistent belief that I wasn't "enough"—not interesting enough, not attractive enough, not charismatic enough. This feeling shaped how I showed up in dating, friendships, professional settings, and even as a coach. Looking back, I realize the problem wasn't actually a lack of confidence or charisma; it was that I was living from a limiting belief I'd never questioned.
Breaking free from these invisible constraints requires more than positive thinking. We explore three transformative shifts that can help you reclaim your identity: recognizing that beliefs live not just in your mind but in your nervous system and physical patterns; taking aligned action that contradicts old stories even before you feel ready; and consciously choosing a new belief to live by—not once, but repeatedly, until it becomes your new normal.
When you finally see the belief that's been quietly driving your life, you gain the power to change everything. You realize you're not locked into the identity that was handed to you—you can choose who you become. This isn't about adding more to your life through hacks or quick fixes; it's about removing what no longer serves the man you're becoming.
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You're listening to the Evolve Men Podcast, episode number 10. Most men don't realize that they're being led not by vision, not by purpose, but by a belief that they never chose, a belief formed years ago quietly, emotionally and unconsciously, and even now it's still shaping how they show up, speak up and shrink back. Today we're pulling that belief into light and showing you how to break free from the identity that it's been creating. I'm Corey Baum, founder of the Evolve Men Project and this podcast. I help men lead themselves boldly, build real confidence and live with purpose. This podcast isn't about surface-level fixes or quick hacks. It's about the deeper work, challenging the quiet stories that have been running your life and stepping into the man that you're actually meant to be, because when you shift your beliefs, you shift everything. Hey, welcome back.
Speaker 1:So for most of my life I didn't think I was enough. I wasn't interesting enough, I wasn't attractive enough, I wasn't confident enough, and especially when it came to women, social situations and later even coaching, I wasn't the loudest guy in the room and I definitely wasn't the most charismatic one. I didn't walk in and just own the space. I was the guy standing on the edge of the room right, kind of like the guys at the dance, standing around the edges, analyzing and overthinking, waiting for the right moment to say something, and half the time that moment never came. I remember watching other guys, in different situations just like, walk up to women and crack a joke and connect in some sort of way to flirt, and I'd think, man like dude, how in the hell are they doing that Right? It felt like they were playing a game that I didn't know the rules to, and meanwhile I was stuck in my head wondering if I sounded weird, if she could tell that I was nervous, if I even belonged there. But beneath all that surface-level noise, there was one deeper belief, and that's that I'm not good enough, not desirable, not valuable, not someone that people are naturally drawn to. And that belief it didn't just affect dating. It bled into every facet of my life, into friendships, job interviews, speaking up in meetings right, speaking up in relationships, standing in front of a group to lead or to coach, whatever it might be right.
Speaker 1:Even when I knew that I had something important to say, something worthwhile, right and some way to help people, I could feel myself shrinking to plain small, trying to earn my place instead of actually owning it, and for years I thought that my problem was just confidence. I thought that I needed to be more charismatic, more alpha, more extroverted. But what I really realized was this that I wasn't just lacking confidence, but I was living from a limiting belief that I had never actually questioned. I was leading from an old story about who I was and my worth. Right, like it was, like it was a fact, like it was written in stone. And because I because I never challenged that story I just kept reinforcing it over and over and over again.
Speaker 1:And that's what limiting beliefs do. They don't just scream at you, they they whisper like you're not good enough, right? They disguise themselves as truth and slowly, over time, they take control of everything. They take the wheel, right, they're the ones driving. And so, looking back now, it's so obvious to me that the issue wasn't that I didn't have what it takes, right. The issue was that I didn't believe that I had had a say in who I became.
Speaker 1:And that's what we're talking about today. Right, because until you identify the belief that's been quietly driving your life, you can't actually take the wheel back, you can't shift into alignment while obeying a rule that you maybe never actually chose, and it doesn't matter what the belief is, whether it's I'm not good enough, or I always mess things up, or people don't want to hear what I have to say, or even people leave me if I don't show who I really am the first move is always the same, and that's to notice the story and to question the story and start becoming the man who no longer lives by it. So that's what today is really about. It's not just about confidence. It's not about being more charismatic or extroverted or alpha. This is about something much deeper. It's about the beliefs that shape who you think you are and who you think you're allowed to become, because every man is living by a story. Right, and most of those stories were written years ago, in middle school, in your family.
Speaker 1:Maybe you know where you went and asked that girl out and you got rejected and got embarrassed or shamed or shut down and, without realizing it, that moment became a rule. Right, not a conscious rule, but one that you follow every day. Right, and it can sound like you know I should be further along. Right, I have to keep everyone happy. I need to prove that I'm worth loving. I can't let anyone see me weak, right, as you can hear in there there's a lot of shoulds and haves and needs and can'ts, but underneath those are the real rules that shape your identity. Right? I'm not good enough, I'm not a leader, I'm too much, I'm not meant to be seen, I'll always be the guy in the background, right? And here's the hard part.
Speaker 1:Those beliefs don't just show up as thoughts that you challenge. They show up as truth. They show up in your posture, in the way that you introduce yourself to people, right, and how you speak or even stay silent, in what you pursue or what you avoid, in the way that you subtly betray yourself again and again just to avoid the discomfort. And the longer that you live by those beliefs, the more real that they feel, because your, your, your actions start reinforcing them. But but here's the truth, right? Those beliefs aren't facts, they're they're agreements that you've made over time, and and agreements can be modified and changed or even broken, right? That's the shift that we're talking about today Noticing these limiting beliefs that you've been living from, challenging the stories that have been quietly running your life and starting to take back your right to decide who it is that you are, because confidence and connection, leadership, clarity none of that's built on tips and hacks.
Speaker 1:It's built on the belief that you choose to live by. Right, it's by doing it day in and day out, with repetition and action. So once you've seen this belief like, once you've started to notice it right, once you've caught yourself living by a rule that you never chose, the question becomes well, now what? And that's what I want to walk you through today Three key shifts that help break this grip of limiting belief and actually rebuild your sense of identity. And these aren't abstract ideas. These are real world moves that I've had to make myself and ones that I help men make every single week.
Speaker 1:The first core shift is one of the biggest misunderstandings around limiting beliefs, which is thinking that they only live in your mind and they don't. Right, they live in your nervous system, they live in your posture, they live in your patterns and in how you act when no one's watching. Right, a belief is like an invisible code that's running the show underneath the surface. Right, it tells you what's safe, what's possible, what's off limits. So if you're trying to change your life by just thinking differently, but you're still acting from the same belief, nothing actually changes. So here's an example right, let's say that your belief is I'm not someone that people want to be around, and you might try to reframe it. You might tell yourself well, that's not true. I'm likable, everybody likes me. Connection, and your system doesn't actually believe the new thought because it doesn't actually see the proof. Right, and this is the first shift.
Speaker 1:Don't just listen to your thoughts, right, look at your patterns, and it's your patterns that'll tell you what you really believe. Thoughts are slippery, right, they change with your mood, your environment or even how much sleep you get. Right, but patterns don't lie. Patterns are the behaviors that you repeat when no one's watching the reactions, that you don't have to think about the choices that you make on autopilot. Right. Your patterns are like fingerprints, right, evidence of the beliefs that you've internalized, even if you've never said them out loud. And you might think that you've moved past these limiting beliefs and you might say, like all the right affirmations, but if your pattern is still like saying yes when you mean no, or playing small when you want to speak up, withdrawing you know, instead of setting a boundary, then your system hasn't actually updated Because, deep down, it still believes the old rule. So, if you want to know what you really believe. Don't look at what you're telling yourself in the mirror. Look at what you're doing when it counts, and your patterns will always show you the truth.
Speaker 1:So, once you've spotted the belief, the next core shift is action, but not just any action. Aligned action, but not just any action. Aligned action, right, the kind of action that interrupts the old story and starts reinforcing a new one. And here's how to think of it, right? Every time that you choose to move differently, you're casting a vote, a vote for a new identity, a new standard, a new belief. A new identity, a new standard, a new belief, a new way of life. And it doesn't have to be massive. It could be making eye contact when you would normally look down right, or saying no when you'd usually say sure, right, sharing the truth of what you actually think when normally you would just stay silent and reserved. It's not about the size of the action. It's about what it proves to the man inside of you, to who you are.
Speaker 1:You don't need to feel like that man first. You need to act like him and to let the belief catch up. And this is where a lot of guys get stuck. They wait, they want to feel more confident. They want to feel more worthy, to wait for permission from the world to finally step into who they say it is that they want to be. But that's not how identity works. Confidence doesn't come before action.
Speaker 1:Belief doesn't just show up first. You don't suddenly feel like the man and just start showing up boldly, right, setting boundaries, leading powerfully. It's the other way around you show up, you take the action, you make the call, you speak your truth, right, you don't just walk into the room even with your heart pounding. You don't fake it, you face it right, and in doing so, you start teaching your nervous system something new, you start building evidence. You're proving to yourself that you can actually handle this, that I am this man and that I don't need to wait to become him. I can actually be him now starts to shift, not because you thought harder, but because you actually acted differently. So if you're waiting to feel ready, I want you to stop. Right, readiness is a side effect of self-leadership, right? You have to first move and then your belief follows. First move and then your belief follows. So here's the third and final shift, and the one that most men skipped.
Speaker 1:You can't just spot the old belief, right, you have to consciously choose the new one, and not just once Every day, in every room that you walk into, in every conversation, every conflict, every moment that you feel the pull to shrink back, and it starts with a declaration, a line in the sand I'm not that man anymore. I don't have to live by that rule and then, just like working out or training a muscle, you reinforce that new emotional baseline, you create a new normal, and here's what happens Eventually, you don't have to remember the new belief, you don't have to fight to believe it, you just live from it because it's become who you are. So let me land this for you Beliefs aren't just in your head, they're stored in how you move. You can't think your way out of an old belief. You have to actually repattern your way out of it. Belief, you have to actually repattern your way out of it. And that new belief, it's not going to become real until you live like it's true, and this is the work of identity. And once you start choosing to act from the man that you're becoming not the one that you've been trying to outgrow, the man that you're becoming, not the one that you've been trying to outgrow right, that's when everything begins to shift. So, now that you know what to look for, let's explore what it feels like to finally loosen up that belief's grip.
Speaker 1:Let's take a second here. Wherever you are walking, driving, sitting on the couch, whatever it is and I just want you to breathe, I want you to drop into your body for a moment and just imagine with me that you're walking through life, same job, same routines, same relationships. But instead of looking straight ahead, today you start thinking, noticing the lines, the script and the quiet rules that you've been following, not because you chose them, but because somewhere along the way you inherited them. And maybe it started with your family. You know, we talked about it in high school or whatever. It might be right, but somewhere back there, you made a silent deal, right, a deal that you you won't speak up because it keeps you safe. Right, you'll stay small so that you stay light, right. And and that you know you won't need anything, so that no one can take it away from you. And you and you kept up your end of the deal, right. You were for years, maybe even decades, you became the easy one, the capable one, the one who has it all together, and it worked until it didn't.
Speaker 1:Because at some point you look around and you realize that this life doesn't feel like yours, that this voice doesn't sound like you, that you've been rehearsing someone else's story and it's wearing you out. And maybe now, for the first time, you're starting to see it clearly. That belief that you've been living from, that it's not truth, it's a role, a mask, a shield, and it's costing you something. It's costing you your peace, your energy, your presence, your ability to choose fully who you are and how you move through life. Who you are and how you move through life. It's costing you the opportunity to live your fullest life.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing that you can write a new script. You can show up differently, you can walk differently, you can move from a different place. You can be the captain of your own ship. So just imagine, quietly, honestly, right, like what would it feel like to drop that old belief, right, to stop performing the version of you that the world trained you to be, to move through your day as the man that you've been becoming this whole time Not perfect, not invincible, but grounded, clear and aligned and let that version of you show up right now, just in your mind, and see how he carries himself, what he says no to, how he speaks to the people in his life, how he shows up when no one's watching. You don't need to figure it all out today, but you do need to remember that you're not locked into the beliefs that you were handed. You can choose a new one, one of your own, that you're not locked into the beliefs that you were handed. You can choose a new one, one of your own, and it starts here.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, let's take a breath, because that's probably all a lot to take in, and let's slow things down yet a little bit more. And let's slow things down yet a little bit more, because this episode isn't just about recognizing that you've been drifting. I mean, that's an important part of the process. It's about realizing what it is that's been driving that drift. So I want you to imagine this with me, right, kind of going back a little bit deeper on this last part, right, that you're moving through your day same responsibilities, same relationships, same routines. But now imagine zooming out right and stepping back and imagine being able to see these patterns the way that you shrink a little bit in certain rooms, the way that you hold your tongue in certain conversations, the way that you say yes even when your body says no. And I want you to go a little bit deeper.
Speaker 1:What belief is hiding beneath that pattern? Not just the behavior, but the rule that you've been following underneath it all? And maybe it's, I don't matter, unless I'm useful, or if I speak up, I'll get judged. Or a common one is that I'm just too much. I'll lose connection if I tell the truth, that if I have needs, that I'm weak, right. Where did those come from? Whose voice do you hear? Right, when you hear that, who does that sound like?
Speaker 1:And when did you start living like that was true? Because you weren't born believing that. Right, we didn't come out of the room having this feeling. Like you know I shouldn't do this. It was handed to you, conditioned into you, over and over and over again. It was layered into your identity, not one like one subtle sort of thing, but over and over again. And you kept it, not because it's true, but over and over again. And you kept it not because it's true, but because it felt familiar. But now you see it and you start to feel the cost of it and maybe, just maybe, you're ready to put it down.
Speaker 1:So pause here and I want you to picture the man that you're becoming, not the one who hides, not the one who performs, but the one who lives from a different belief. Maybe it's something like you know it's okay for me to be who it is, that I am, that my truth belongs in the room, that I'm a grounded man who stands in his value without needing to prove it right, because you don't need to convince yourself of it right now. Just feel what it would feel like to move through your life from that belief instead. And that's the shift. Not a better habit, not a new routine, but a new foundation. All right, guys, if this stirred something in you, don't let it end here.
Speaker 1:Go to the evolvemenprojectcom and grab a copy of A Man's Guide to Self-Leadership. It's not a piece of fluff, it's grounded, tactical guide to help you take back the wheel of your life. You'll learn how to recognize the beliefs that have been shaping you and replace them with the identity of the man that you're becoming. And if you want to go deeper, if you're ready to have a real conversation about what's next for you, then there's a place on the site to book a free discovery call. No pitch, no pressure, just an honest conversation about what you've been carrying and what it would look like to finally let it go.
Speaker 1:So, whether you start with a guide or you start with a conversation, just start. You weren't meant to do this alone and you don't have to. So remember this you're not broken, right? You're not behind. You're not missing something, right? You've just been living a belief that's too small for the man that you're becoming, living a belief that's too small for the man that you're becoming, and today you started questioning it, and that matters. That's how everything begins to shift, not by adding more to your life, but by removing the things that no longer fit. So this week, walk differently, even if it's subtle, even if no one sees it, because when you stop drifting and you start choosing, you begin to move like the man that you were always meant to be. You got this and I'll see you next time on the Evolved Men Podcast. We'll be you next time.
