Evolved Men Podcast

The Power of Vulnerability - Does it Help or Hinder You?

• Season 1 • Episode 12

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What does real strength look like for men today? Not the kind that’s performed or projected—but the kind that transforms lives and builds genuine connection.


Most of us were taught that staying guarded equals strength. We master the art of living at a “five”—never too high, never too low, always steady. We wear emotional neutrality like armor, believing it makes us grounded or safe. But the hidden cost? Profound disconnection.


When you never let anyone see your highs or lows, you become invisible. People don’t connect with performance—they connect with truth. Vulnerability isn’t weakness or emotional leakage. It’s the courage to be seen, with intention and boundaries.


This episode explores how to practice vulnerability in a way that makes you stronger. You’ll learn how to acknowledge fear, choose safe spaces, and lead with truth. Because intentional vulnerability builds trust and connection—while unfiltered vulnerability creates distance.


Real leadership doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from ownership.


So if you’re tired of feeling like you’re just “fine,” this episode invites you to go one layer deeper. Your relationships, leadership, and identity depend on it. Start with one moment this week—and let yourself be seen.


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Speaker 1:

You're listening to the Evolved Men Podcast, episode number 12. A lot of men avoid vulnerability like the plague, as if being open means being weak, emotional or out of control. But what if vulnerability isn't the thing that breaks you? What if it's the very thing that makes you unbreakable? I'm Cory Baum, founder of the Evolve Men Project and this podcast. I help men lead themselves boldly, build real confidence and live with purpose. This show is about growth that actually means something, the kind that starts from the inside out. Every episode gives you the tools, stories and strategies to evolve into the man that you were born to be, not by performing strength, but by living it. What's up, men? So today we're going to be talking about something most of us never got clear guidance on right, and that's vulnerability. Is it a strength or a liability? Can opening up actually make you more powerful, or does it just leave you exposed? So that's what we're going to be getting into this episode, and I want to start with a story, because this one hit hard.

Speaker 1:

For most of my life, it was like this running joke about me it's that Corey's always a five. Corey's never too high, he's never. I said Corey's always a five, right? Corey's never too high, he's never too low, he's not a one, he's not a 10. He's just steady, right, even fine right. And for the longest time I wore that like a badge of honor, right. I thought it made me grounded and relatable and reliable, even keel. You know. I was safe.

Speaker 1:

But what I didn't realize was that was that living at a five all the time meant that I I wasn't really living at all. I wasn't letting myself feel the highs or be seen in the lows. I wasn't sharing my truth, I was just. I was just managing my image and eventually that caught up with me Towards the end of my marriage. I looked around and I realized that I didn't really know anyone and no one really knew me. I realized that I didn't really know anyone and no one really knew me, not deeply, at least right, and not honestly right. I'd been so committed to keeping the peace, to being the nice guy, the steady one, right To the one who doesn't rock the boat right, that I never said the hard things, I never asked for help, I never let people in. I thought avoiding vulnerability made me strong, but all it really did was make me alone. And that's what this episode is really about what happens when we start to see vulnerability not as a liability, when we start to see vulnerability not as a liability but as a doorway to connection and leadership and truth.

Speaker 1:

So today we're diving into vulnerability and asking a simple but confronting question Does it help or does it hinder you? Because most men live in a tension with vulnerability. We crave connection, but we fear exposure. We want to be seen, but we're terrified of being judged if we actually are right. And somewhere along the way, a lot of us learned that the best strategy was just stay neutral, right, don't get too high, don't get too low, just stay. Just stay neutral, right, don't get too high, don't get too low, just stay in the middle. Right, be chill, be fine, man, just take it easy. But here's the cost when you live your life at a five all the time, you miss the real moments. Right, you lose the opportunity to be known and over time, you begin to feel like a stranger in your own skin. Right, vulnerability has the power to connect, to heal and to lead, but only when it's used with wisdom, right.

Speaker 1:

So in this episode, we're going to unpack what vulnerability is not necessarily what you think it is right, why so many men avoid it, and how to tell the difference between helpful and harmful vulnerability, and how to use it as a tool for leadership, intimacy and self-respect. Because the truth is that your strength doesn't come from never being shaken. It comes from the courage to be seen. So let's start by getting clear on what vulnerability actually is. Vulnerability is the willingness to let yourself be seen emotionally, honestly, imperfectly, right as saying here I am even when there's a small risk of rejection or judgment or failure. But most men associate vulnerability with weakness because we're taught to not to cry, right. We're taught that we don't need anyone to keep it together and to always have the answer. So, along the way right, we build these walls instead of bridges, we present this curated version of ourself, we put on the armor right and we wonder why we feel connected or disconnected from everyone. Because vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's an emotional risk, right, and risk requires courage. So the truth is that it's easy to look strong right, but it's an entirely different game to actually be honest and to be authentic and to be genuine about who it is and what you truly are. Think and believe it right.

Speaker 1:

For a long time, I thought that being even was a virtue being a five. Right, there was no drama, no big reactions, I was just steady, right, but what I eventually realized was that I wasn't being grounded right, that I was just being invisible, because when you never let anyone see the highs or the lows, they can't actually connect with you, right, they can only connect with your performance. And over time, that five out of like 10 life, it just chipped away at my soul, right, and at your friendships, at your marriage, right, your sense of identity, and so it shows up in a bunch of different ways. Right, and you know, you're saying like, at times, saying that you're fine. Right, that's the typical thing. Like hey, man, how you doing, oh, you're fine. Right, that's the typical thing. Like hey, man, how you doing, oh, I'm fine. Right, even when, deep down, you're drowning. Right, when you avoid conflict just to keep the peace but as a result you end up resentful. Right, you try to stay composed but underneath you feel numb or disconnected. Right, people don't connect with your composure. They connect with your truth. Right, it's in your ones and your tens that your real emotions, your honest stories, that people get to see you, and that's where the real intimacy and connection begins.

Speaker 1:

All right, so let's talk about the nuances of vulnerability, because vulnerability is powerful, right, but it's not always helpful, right. So vulnerability is helpful when it builds trust, when it deepens relationships. It builds trust when it deepens relationships, when it creates authentic leadership right. It gives people permission to be real as well, right. Some of the times when it can hinder is when it's underground, right. Or it's impulsive, when it's behind the scenes, when there's no trust or container for it, when it becomes like a passive cry for validation right. When it's used to overshare or avoid responsibility and not you know, let's be honest, not everyone deserves access to your innermost thoughts and your world. Right, vulnerability without boundaries is just leakage, right. It's not actually leadership.

Speaker 1:

Vulnerability is most powerful when it's chosen and not just spilled out right, when it's owned, not like puking it out, right. Intentional vulnerability says I know that this is real for me and I'm willing to share it. Right, because it serves connection or truth. Unfiltered vulnerability says I need someone to fix me, right, or I need someone to do this for me in order for me to be okay, right.

Speaker 1:

So how do you actually practice vulnerability in a way that strengthens and not weakened you, right? So let's start. Let's start here and just acknowledging your fear, and so even just practice. You know, practicing it without vulnerability is key to actually, is just naming it right, actually being able to say, like you know, I'm afraid that if I say this, that you'll think less of me, right, and the key here is to start small, right, don't open with your deepest, darkest traumas. Share something that's just real and present in the moment, something that's true for you, right, something like you know, honestly, I've been feeling really overwhelmed this week, right? Something else is to actually own your experience, without dumping it onto somebody else.

Speaker 1:

So, speak from a place of ownership, right, not actually blaming the other person. So speak about, like, what's actually coming up for you, right? So, saying something as simple as like, hey, I'm really feeling a lot of shame right now, right, not because of you, right, but because of how it is that I see myself. And and the next thing is to choose your, your audience, wisely, right, share with people who have, who have earned the right to witness your truth, right. And so the last one is to use your vulnerability to lead, not to collapse, right, not to pull yourself into the shadows when a man says that, hey, I'm, I'm struggling. You know I'm still showing up. That's leadership, right? So the next time that you're tempted to say like you know what, I'm good, yeah, doing fine when you're not, I want you to pause. Right, what would leadership sound like right now in truth? Right, and then say that so here are a few questions to sit with, right, and you don't need to rush through them. Just pick one that really hits home for you and give it some real space, journal on it, do a voice note if that's your thing, just reflect in silence. Whatever it is that works for you. All right.

Speaker 1:

So this is about honesty, not performance. So the first question is this where in my life am I still trying to stay at a five, and what am I afraid will happen if I, if I let people see the real high or the real low? Question number two is when was the last time that I felt truly vulnerable? What did I do in that moment? What did it cost me or give me? So the third question is what am I not saying Because I don't want to rock the boat, and what's the cost of holding that in? What kind of an impact is that having on me as a result? Number four is who in my life has earned the right to witness my truth, because not everybody does, and am I showing up honestly with them? And the last question, number five, is what's one small way that I could practice grounded vulnerability without leaking, without oversharing, just telling the truth?

Speaker 1:

So remember, you don't have to crack yourself open to practice vulnerability. Sometimes it's just as simple as saying you know what actually I'm not doing great today. Sometimes it's simply not pretending. Let one of these questions pull you into something deeper. So let's reframe the story that we've been told.

Speaker 1:

Right, vulnerability is not weakness, it's just. It's the purest form of strength. Honestly, because it takes zero courage to stay guarded. Form of strength, honestly, because it takes zero courage to stay guarded, but it takes everything you've got to show up real. And here's the truth. Right, you can't build deep, meaningful relationships with people who only know your mask. Right, you can't lead powerfully when you're afraid to be seen and you can't love fully if you're still hiding half of your heart. So here's your identity shift. You're not here to pretend that you're untouchable. You're here to embody courage, the kind of courage that says you know what. I can hold space for pain and still lead. I can tell the truth and stay grounded. I can be seen and still stand tall.

Speaker 1:

So your challenge for this week is simple Choose one moment where you would normally play it safe and instead speak one layer deeper, right Not to get something right, not to spill your guts, but to show up. Because every time that you tell the truth with grounded presence, you're not just being vulnerable, you're being powerful. So if this episode landed for you, if you're realizing just how much energy that you've been spending trying to hold it all together alone, then I want to invite you to have a deeper conversation. This is the work that I do with men every day helping them drop the mask to lead with truth and to build relationships that actually feel real. If you want support practicing grounded vulnerability, building emotional resilience and leading from who you are, not who you think you're supposed to be book a free discovery call with me at evolvemanprojectcom, and there's no pitch, no pressure, just a real, honest conversation about where you are and what's been getting in the way. And if this episode stirred something in you, send it to a man that you care about, as always, leave a five-star review, follow the show. That's how this message spreads, one man at a time. So here's what I want you to remember from this episode, guys Vulnerability doesn't make you fragile, it makes you human, and when it's grounded in truth, it becomes a superpower, not a liability.

Speaker 1:

The men who evolve, who lead, who love and live with real impact aren't the ones who hide their struggles. They're the ones who own them, who bring their whole selves to the table and who keep showing up, even when it's uncomfortable. So, whatever you're carrying right now, you don't have to carry it alone and you don't have to pretend that you've got it all figured out. Start small right. Speak one deeper truth this week. Let someone see you, and that's where the real strength lives. Thanks for listening to the Evolve Men podcast. Keep leading with your heart and I'll see you next time. We'll be you next time.

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Corey Baum

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