Equipped for Impact

Biblical Grandparenting- Passing the Baton of Faith

• Luis Miranda and Nathan Deck • Season 2 • Episode 28

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We explore how grandparents can shape a durable faith through Scripture, stories, and simple daily habits, whether they live nearby or far away. Ray and Bev share practical ways to disciple grandkids with joy, patience, and prayer while supporting their adult children.

• Psalm 78 and a multi‑generational vision of discipleship
• Grandparents as the second‑strongest voice in a child’s life
• Freedom from a rigid “job description” for grandparenting
• Proximity vs distance and how to stay close creatively
• FaceTime prompts, letters, birthdays, and milestones
• Traditions that tie meaning to memory and faith
• Passing faith through ordinary moments and short prayers
• Encouragement for complex and blended family realities
• Supporting adult children with wisdom and prayer
• Enjoying the ride while pointing everyone to Christ

If you guys enjoyed today’s episode would you mind taking a moment to share it with a parent or grandparent who could use the wisdom that we got to enjoy today. And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where Lewis and I will be back to tackle the issue of teen mental health from a biblical worldview


Send any questions you want answered to podcast@waynechristian.org

This podcast is presented by Wayne Christian School- A Christ-centered community school whose mission is to assist parents and churches in the education of their children from a biblical worldview to impact their world for Christ. You can learn more at waynechristian.org

Nate:

Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ. We're your hosts. I'm Nate and I'm Lewis. And we are glad you're here with us today. Normally, we focus these episodes on you all as parents and how you can be equipped to disciple your own children. But we're deviating slightly from that today because one of the greatest blessings in God's design for the family is the role that grandparents play in the discipleship of the next generation. The Bible paints a very rich, multi-generational picture of faith being passed down from one generation to the next. In fact, in Psalm 78, it says, He commanded our fathers to teach their children that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn. So with it being close to grandparents' day, uh we invited some guests here to join us. Uh, since Lewis, we are not grandparents. Not yet. No. We're a ways off from that. We are. Yeah, we are. Hopefully we are, right?

Luis:

Like that's the planning.

Nate:

So we are still a ways off from that. So uh we're gonna introduce um our guests here. We are actually joined by by a couple, uh, some great grandparents that I know pretty well. Are you biased? I am very biased because these are actually my parents. They are. Um but uh Ray and Bev are joining us today. So uh, mom and dad, say hey to everybody for us. Good morning, good to see you.

Luis:

And just to be clear, this is the mom that you've referenced in multiple podcast episodes that used to drink her coffee in the morning still still does the spoon.

Nate:

Do you still stir your coffee incessantly?

Bev:

Incessantly. I'm not sure if I agree with that. And I try to leave my spoon in the kitchen now so I won't be, you know, distracted or distracting.

Nate:

But now that no one else except dad is in the house with you.

Bev:

I've also been known to stir my coffee with a crochet hook if I need to.

Luis:

There we go. The next level.

Bev:

But it made an impact on you.

Luis:

That's right. And you've talked about it multiple times on how on this podcast. Yes, on how it has how you knew your mom had done her quiet time because it was it was a daily routine. And so now that we talk about biblical grandparenting and just how they intentionally disciple grandchildren, they they may not be stirring the spoon uh in the coffee mug, but they're doing things that are impacting their grandchildren. And so uh grandparents are here to disciple their grandchildren, support their adult children, uh, but also to to leave a legacy that hopefully points their families to Christ.

Nate:

Yep. And so we don't know what we're talking about, which is why we have you two in here, because you do. Um, real quick, uh just give us a quick how many children and grandchildren, because that's part of the grandparenting resume.

Ray:

We have three sons. Uh and those three sons have given us 15 grandchildren.

Nate:

Fifteen grandchildren. There you go. And I only have two, so that tells you uh that the it's skewed in the ratio of grandchildren to children in in this family. But we're gonna go ahead and jump right in here just to we we just want to get some wisdom from you all. Um so when you guys think about your role as grandparents, like I read to start us off from Psalm 78, you know, what other passages or biblical principles have really shaped your guys' understanding as your role as grandparents as I looked at it um earlier this week, there's lots in the Bible about grandparents.

Bev:

But the cool thing is there's no specific um job description, which gives you a lot of freedom, which means that no two grandparents are gonna grandparent exactly alike. Some grandparents are still working full-time, some are not, some are more available, some families need the child care part of grandparenting more. But this the scriptures, most of the grandparenting, the ones that actually mention specifically children's children or grandparents or something like that, are talking about the blessing it is to the grandparent. And the rest of the passages are talking about the older generation, which could you may or may not have grandchildren if you're older or more mature, whatever older means.

Nate:

Yeah.

Bev:

Um, but the the responsibility involved with that maturity level or that age level is to pass on the I think the Psalms describes it as the the glorious deeds of the the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. So it's I feel like that's my job, and there's lots of different ways to do that. The other New Testament passage that I thought of is the specific for me as a grandma, um, older women teaching younger women. If God gives me granddaughters, which you have several, that's a ready-made, I don't know, discipleship group, however you want to put it that way. Teach teach uh teach the young women, whether they're four or fourteen or forty, how to love their husbands well, what their role is in the home, the importance of the home. I feel like that's a that's a grandmother responsibility that even though it doesn't say grandmother, so and I mean it is a huge blessing.

Luis:

It's a huge blessing both ways, right? So you are blessed by it, but then you also get to be a blessing in the lives of, in your case, your daughters-in-laws, but also now your grandparents as well. And so um, you know, research over and over continues to show that parents are influential in the lives of their children, but right behind them are grandparents, right? So so grandparents have a huge influence in the lives of children, more so than school, more so than a church program, more so than than than anything else that is is intentionally shaping them. Parents first, grandparents second.

Nate:

So yeah. Dad, any uh any other thoughts to add to that?

Ray:

Well, as I was thinking through it, um I I the the verses that came to mind, um I I I believe that grand grandparenting is is um not a lot different than just what we've been commanded to do as as Christians. I mean, you know, it it in the old testament talks about um sharing biblical principles with your children as you know, whether you're walking by the way or or lying down, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And it's pretty much everything that you do in life. But then I was also thinking of 2 Timothy 2, 2, the things that you've heard of me uh from faithful men share with faithful men. And and I think I I think just like with uh parents to their children, they need to disciple them and help them to to grow spiritually. And of course, the Great Commission, first of all, um making disciples and then teaching them to observe all things, um that that um that continues on with grandchildren and to the best of your ability. And it it's it's it's uh parenting is a um on the job training program. Um grandparenting is too. Sometimes with grandparenting, you you you look back and you see some of the mistakes you made as a parent. Yeah, yeah. And and you say, Okay, good, I've got another chance. The Lord, the Lord uh uh spared us uh with our with our children um and uh gave us a second chance to to do what's right with our grandchildren. And so uh it's it's it's a wonderful thing.

Nate:

Yeah. And I mean it the classic verse of the you know, gray hair is a crown of wisdom, right? And so I don't know if you're listening to this as a grandparent, whether you have that gray hair or not, but it's the wisdom that then can then be passed on to us. And so us as parents can listen and receive that wisdom. Uh and so it's it's helpful um for us there with that. Aaron Ross Powell, Jr. And even if you're hiding your gray hair. Some people hide the gray hair. It's true, they do hide their gray hair.

Luis:

It's underneath there. You can pass that on still. Trevor Burrus, Jr.

Nate:

Mine, half of my hair is falling out, and the other half is afraid it's gonna fall out, so it turns gray. Yeah. That's that's what's going on right now.

Ray:

So I've shared the verse about gray hair is a glory of old men, and bald-headed men don't appreciate that much.

Nate:

Because they don't have gray hair. The crowd, the glory. Oh, good stuff. So so think about you know, your or our family story, right? And how have you seen the influence of grandparents, you know, either in your own upbringing or maybe now as you invest in your grandkids, you know, my kids, my my nieces and nephews, you know, how how has the family story really influenced the way you approach um grandparenting?

Bev:

Well, it was it was super interesting for us because we l at the beginning of our parenting, we lived within a few miles of both sets of grandparents, which meant that our children had the benefit of a really close relationship with both sets of grandparents. Um, actually, Ray's mom helped us because both of us worked, so she provided childcare. Our kids never, you guys never had to go to um daycare or anything because she was actually a hands-on, everyday type of grandma.

Nate:

And then my parents including spankings, just so you know, it's like that's a key point there. Including spanking.

Bev:

That's right.

Nate:

Several.

Bev:

Um, and my parents lived right up the hill. Our kids could ride their bikes there. Well, that all changed when God called us to North Carolina, and then we moved seven hours away from the grandparents. Our kids at that point maybe had taken their grandparents, the closeness of their grandparents for granted. And when we moved, we and they realized how blessed we were to be to have that close proximity and that investment. And even to this day, as they are adults, they're still close to their grandparents, and their children actually have gotten to know and love the great grandparents.

Luis:

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

Bev:

So um it's it's a huge benefit. And the the distance thing makes it more difficult. But having been close when they were young built the relationship in the beginning so it was able to be maintained.

Nate:

Yeah. And we're gonna kind of jump ahead of what we planned a little bit here because you brought up the distance, right? And so there was that distance from when we moved away from from my grandparents, right? Um, and your grandkids are spread uh coast to coast um from the in the United States. So how do you how do you handle something like that? Because you know the listener listening to this may be, you know, in a situation where they're not in close proximity to their grandparents. So like how how do you handle intentionally investing in grandchildren when when you can't see them every week?

Ray:

Well, uh FaceTime's a wonderful thing. Um as you said, you know, we have two close by. Uh one son has 10 in the middle part of the country.

Nate:

There, he skews the ratio.

Ray:

And then uh the other son has three all the way over on the west coast. So uh that's probably the hardest on the west coast because of the time difference. Um when they're available to FaceTime, we're getting ready for bed a lot of times. Um, and uh when we're ready in the morning, uh they're not out of bed yet. So that that can be a problem. But uh with those in the middle part of the country, we we uh FaceTime as often as we can. Um that son and his uh wife, obviously, with 10 children and jobs, they are extremely busy. So we leave it up to them to to uh initiate uh the FaceTime calls. But when we're on those, we try to ask, okay, what's what what's your favorite thing in school right now, or or how's school going, or how was math, or what are you reading? What are you reading for fun? Um because I'm a little bit of a uh history buff. I tend to try to to pass along some things like that. Probably they're not as as interested as I'd hoped they would be, but um, but uh you know, boring granddad, that's fine.

Bev:

Um but if you're on FaceTime, you can see if their eyes are glazing over.

Ray:

Right, right, exactly, exactly right. Um and then we you know we visit as often as we can, but we we do try to uh uh keep up, you know, with 15 to keep up with uh almost every month has a uh um uh a birthday in it and sometimes two or three birthdays in them. So we try to keep up and in advance, find out what they want, what they need, um and and think through if they were close, what we would what we would do for them.

Luis:

Yeah. Do you guys ever get everybody together? Like, is there a time that that everybody comes together? I mean, that's got to be a huge family gathering, right?

Bev:

It is. And we had grand goals back when our boys first got married and started having children. We decided that, I mean, you know, you have to you have to share your kids because the daughter-in-laws also have families and um and parents who want to grandparent, which is a blessing for them. Um, but we started out with a grand goal of every other Christmas we were gonna get everyone together. So we and we did that for a few years, and we would rent a big house or whatever, but it has gotten increasingly more difficult as they've gotten older. Yeah, yeah. We would, I mean, we've got some dreams and plans about maybe being able to get together for summer vacation or something in the future. But for a while, for a few years, the the it's just travel has been diff difficult because of I mean, traveling with 10 children is hard. But man, cousin relationships, grandparents love to see that stuff too.

Luis:

Yeah, yeah.

Bev:

To see the cousin thing going on.

Luis:

And that's actually really, you know, a really good example because what what it shows here is the realness of you know, both both you and Ray have served in ministry, you've discipled your children, you've brought them up, you had great plans of trying to get everybody together. And so what would you say to that grandparent that might feel discouraged because because maybe maybe they come from from a broken home. We know that in our situations now you might have split homes, and so you have, you know, m mom, dad aren't together, so but maybe also grandparents aren't together, you know, and so and so they might be thinking, well, you guys have some great stories, some great examples, but that's not my family, right? My family didn't grow up close to, or you know, my family doesn't serve in ministry, or my family doesn't have that closeness. Well, how how would you guys encourage a parent that might be listening, or even a grandparent is listening to thinking, like, well, that's that's just not my situation.

Bev:

So and everybody's different. And I think that it kind of goes back to the God didn't give us in scripture any specific job description for grandparenting. Everybody's is gonna look different.

Ray:

And and I would also say in situations like that, I mean, we're we're far from uh perfect family or perfect grandparents. Uh and and I I don't perfect is unattainable. Um but do what you can. Do do what you can. I mean, even even little little baby steps in the direction of of trying to disciple, trying to teach, trying to get together, fellowship, uh all of those things is what you can. Like as I said, you know, FaceTime's a wonderful thing. And and when we can FaceTime and um uh get caught up, and I'll tell you, when you FaceTime uh when there's 10 grandchildren, um that's a little wild, yeah. It's a little wild, and a lot of times you're what you're doing is you're just sitting there listening.

Bev:

You know, I've another thing that we do with especially the the family with the 10 children, which gets a a little hard to keep up with, is old-fashioned letters. Oh, yeah, yeah. Those kids love to get mail with their name on it. Yeah. So we'll write to them. Their parents, well, they like to write back to us, but their parents will even include because they're homeschooled, so their parents will include it as a part of a school assignment for handwriting and stuff, and they'll write us back and they'll ask us questions, and they want us to tell them jokes.

Nate:

So you gotta have a joke in the runs in the family, just so you know the joke runs in the family.

Bev:

You can and and I don't know very many jokes, but I do know how to Google. Yeah. So I can find it.

Nate:

And you do know how to use Chat GPT.

Bev:

I do now.

Nate:

And you have a son that has a joke, right? I mean, usually why do you like put me on the spot like that? I'm just saying that we're here in the presence of the master, and then you ask me for a joke. Like, what is it? They're pointing fingers at each other.

Luis:

It's a good thing this is not a video podcast. There's not an iPhone or iPad big enough though to fit ten grandchildren on the screen, is there? They have to take turns. They pass it around, walk around the house.

Ray:

And the younger they are, the more that they try to get very close. They love to see themselves on the screen. Yeah, yeah. So they get real close looking at themselves, not realizing that uh we really can't see them. Yeah. We can see, you know, one eye.

Luis:

That's awesome. Both of my girls, uh uh, their their grandmothers are here locally, so they're close by. And so, but but even as they were growing up, they would love to FaceTime them. And so I remember my oldest daughter, she would she would walk around with the iPad, and you know, her abuela was just five, you know, five minutes down the road, but she loved to FaceTime her as she was coming up. And and my mom doesn't speak English as clearly as as we do, but she speaks it. So it was interesting to see them, you know, talk. But one of my favorite memories is my mom makes uh tamales, actually, probably some of the best tamales in the world. That's tamales for those of us that are.

Nate:

For those of you from eastern North Carolina, that's right. Some of those tamales.

Luis:

And so there was a time when my mom uh would make them that my girls enjoyed going over there and seeing them be made and help her, right? And so they were able to pass down some traditions from from my mom. And so uh what are some traditions that you guys have been able to pass down to your grandchildren, either either the ones that are here close by to you, but also even like those long distance ones. So staying on that topic of of of how do you grandparent close by, but also how do you grandparent from a distance?

Bev:

So this is this is a hilarious this is a hilarious admission, all right?

Nate:

So I'm afraid of what she's about to say. None of this is scripted, by the way.

Bev:

Yeah, it's not both both of both of our um granddaughters, what both of them are girls, the ones that are local. So my activities with them are baking, cooking. Um one of them has started actually learning how to crochet a little bit. But they also spend a ton of time with their granddad, outdoor work, because I do not do outdoor work. I've heard you don't mow your own grass.

Luis:

I don't know.

Bev:

She pointed at me actually.

Nate:

I mean, so she is a listener for those of you who are there. You know.

Bev:

I do listen.

Nate:

She knows he does not like breakfast for dinner and he does not mow his own grass. That's right.

Bev:

I don't do yard work. Yeah. So tell him what your latest project was with the girls.

Ray:

We've we've had some some uh yard issues with uh grass dying and and that type of thing. And so I've um they at the beginning of this this past summer, uh, one of them asked if they could uh if I had something outside that they could do uh to earn some money. Oh, yeah.

Nate:

Just putting them to work, good raising. There you go. So um, you know And they know that granddad pays better than dad pays.

Ray:

Granddad granddad's pay scale is much better than the dad's pay scale. So my my son found out um that he'd been ripped off all these years. Um but um I I'd I'd buy some uh uh believe it or not, some grass plugs on Amazon and have them shipped in and keep them watered until they could make it there. And we went outside and one of them would I'd dig the hole or punch the hole, and one of them would get it out of the tray and the other one would put it in the hole and we'd water it and they got paid very well for that.

Nate:

They got paid, just so you know, they got paid as much in that one afternoon as I normally got for an entire month of mowing the grass. Wow. Like, wow. That I'm not bitter though. Inflation. We'll just call it inflation. That's what it is.

Luis:

Uh to uh throwback to our slang, it sounds like you might be salty. Am I salty?

Nate:

Well, I wasn't, what is it, bread? We weren't bringing bread. You weren't getting bread. You weren't getting bread. That's what I was. Oh my goodness. That was last episode. Uh you can go back to episode 27 and listen to our slang episode.

Bev:

But um I I also think it's really, really important for grandparents to instill the value of having breakfast for dinner.

Luis:

Every once in a while. I do feel like I'm being ganged up on here. I do feel like I brought back up. I guess it makes sense, right? Like they passed the traditional. That's exactly right. I'm hoping the legacy. I'm hoping that maybe it ends with you. And and your girls learn better. Neither of my girls do breakfast for dinner. Somebody somebody asked them recently about it and they politely uh made uh, you know, they they declined it.

Nate:

So it actually I asked them recently. It was me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was an intentional joke. Uh speaking of passing the baton, okay. So just specifically the baton of faith, um, when you know the children are not living in your household um with those small touches throughout the week or FaceTime calls, whatever it is, what does that look like, the passing the baton of faith look like for a grandparent? They're thinking.

Bev:

Everyday conversation.

Nate:

Yeah.

Bev:

Um them, the girls learning how when they're I I'm so blessed because I get to see the girls almost every day, and I can see their daily struggles. Can we pray about that? Whatever it is. My it might not, and it's not gonna be a long pastoral prayer, it's gonna be a real prayer in the moment kind of thing, praying together. I get to sit with them in church and to have your children, grandchildren sitting with you in church and seeing that you value worship together as a family. Um you value the preaching of the word. I take notes. They see me doing that. Um there's just all kinds of opportunities, and it the beauty of it is it it doesn't have to be scripted. It's it many things you can't plan ahead for because you don't know what their day is gonna be like, you don't know what your conversation is gonna be like, and you don't know what they're gonna feel comfortable sharing with you. Um they may not feel comfortable, they may rather talk to their mom about something, but then something may come up, and if God helps me, I'll be able to talk to them about whatever issue it is, and it doesn't have to be a long, involved, deep conversation, it can just be a little um response to something. So that's good.

Ray:

It also has to do with with uh Christianity, your spirituality is just part of your life. And as you um as as Bev said, as as you're sitting in church and hearing the message, or as you're talking about the message after after church, or uh out in the yard planting grass, and we talk about God and they ask questions. Well, what is what is this thing? I remember um they they asked these little things that were in the yard, and I had to actually kind of Google it because I didn't know what it was. It was a a male pine cone, which I didn't know there was such a thing, but we talk about how you know God that's the way God created things, and and um and then when and of course the distance um you struggle with that, but they're excited to uh tell you that they've they've been saved or they're getting baptized or something of that nature, and you you just rejoice along with them that um uh they they understand that you think that that's important too.

Nate:

That's awesome. That's really good. So as we kind of wrap up here, um, you know, for for the parents or grandparents listening to this, what's some last just encouragement you guys would give them uh in this whole idea of grandparenting and and passing the baton of faith?

Bev:

It doesn't have to be complicated. You God already gave you a love for these little and and biggers even when they get up to be teenagers and such, God gave you a heart for them for a reason. And God put you in the spot you are for a reason, and God is sovereign and his plan overarches all and just follow his leading, forget take advantage of the opportunities, doesn't have to be complicated. I feel like you know what they don't have to love every second with me if they later on remember a nugget of something that we did together. It doesn't, it does, it doesn't have to be about me or our relationship. It it it just needs to be whatever God wants me to pass along to them.

Ray:

And I would say just enjoy the ride and enjoy uh enjoy having them around. Um we enjoyed um every stage of our sons' lives and um uh missed some of them as they passed, but um missed as in we kind of wish they were back, but um not not missed as we were gone, but um but in and enjoy the ride, enjoy watching them grow, uh and enjoy their um their world expanding and uh do the best you can uh to to pass along a legacy of loving the Lord and um and um sharing sharing his word.

Bev:

Lots of prayer, lots of prayer. It's also really easy to pray for your grandchildren. You see them struggling, it's it's the most natural thing in the world. And I think that's a huge part of our role too, is to is to pray for them and and our kiddos, our our kids. Well, I'm we we're glad that we don't have to make some of the decisions that our children are having to make now. So we pray a lot for them for wisdom and wisdom. what they're putting into their children's lives, wisdom to make those choices and about you know the tech that we never had to deal with when our kids were little, that sort of stuff. Yeah, that's great.

Luis:

So it's encouraging and it's a powerful reminder that that God's plan for discipleship, it's it's multi-generational, right? You know, it it you know we we we see it I'm reminded of what Paul told Timothy, right? You know, he referenced his mother and his grandmother. Yep. You know, and so whether you're a grandparent, whether you're a parent, whether you're listening to this and you're a future parent, we want to remind you that that your influence can help anchor your family in truth. And ultimately the goal is to point them to Christ. So whether you're a parent grandparent or future parent um you're pointing them to Christ.

Nate:

That's right. So thank you all for joining us today. Thank you uh Ray and Bev mom and dad uh for taking some time to hang out with us and give some wisdom to some younger uh guys. It's nice where we get to say that we're the younger ones we are the younger ones. Because normally we're not when we're talking about this episode. But uh if you guys enjoyed today's episode would you mind taking a moment to share it with a parent or grandparent who could use the wisdom that we got to enjoy today. And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where Lewis and I will be back to help uh to tackle the issue of teen mental health from a biblical worldview. So that's gonna be a big one uh next week coming out. But until then keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ

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Luis Miranda

Host
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Nathan Deck

Host