Equipped for Impact
A podcast designed to equip parents to disciple the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ. Each episode explores practical questions and cultural issues through a Biblical worldview, providing the wisdom and tools needed to guide children toward a Christ-centered life.
Presented by: Wayne Christian School- A Christ-centered community school whose mission is to assist parents and churches in the education of their children from a biblical worldview to impact their world for Christ.
Equipped for Impact
Co-Parenting over the Holidays: Ensuring Consistent Discipleship
We explore how to give kids spiritual stability when custody schedules, traditions, and routines pull December in different directions. Advent peace, simple rhythms, and clear communication help us anchor hearts in Christ when everything else shifts.
• emotional impact of two homes during Christmas
• Advent peace as presence not absence of chaos
• Deuteronomy 6 and habit-based discipleship
• three non-negotiables: daily word, prayer rhythm, weekly verse
• practical tools and Advent devotional ideas
• leading with peace and clear parent-to-parent communication
• tech prompts to sustain simple routines
• building a two-home discipleship plan with duplicate resources
• encouragement to focus on faithfulness over perfection
If this episode encouraged you, please share it with another parent who could use this resource. Make sure that you subscribe so you don’t miss our next episode as we continue our Christmas series
Send any questions you want answered to podcast@waynechristian.org
This podcast is presented by Wayne Christian School- A Christ-centered community school whose mission is to assist parents and churches in the education of their children from a biblical worldview to impact their world for Christ. You can learn more at waynechristian.org
Christmas is supposed to feel peaceful, right? But for a lot of kids in split homes, December feels more like emotional whiplash. One house has one set of traditions, the other house has a totally different rhythm, different decorations, different expectations, different spiritual priorities, and one child is caught in the middle.
SPEAKER_00:And yet, in a season built on the promise of peace, Jesus gives us a way to anchor our kids even when everything around them shifts.
SPEAKER_01:Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation, to stand firm in their faith, and influence the world for Christ. We're your hosts. I'm Nate. And I'm Lewis. And we are glad you're here with us today. We are in week two of our Christmas series. Uh Merry Christmas, Lewis. Merry Christmas to you. Do you have your Christmas tree up? It's up. We put it up the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We did not. You did not? We put it up way before Thanksgiving. Oh, okay. I mean, not way before. A couple weeks before. You're one of those. We are one of those. I'm not surprised. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's the most wonderful time of the year. So I agree. We just gotta jump into it. I agree, which is why we do it after Thanksgiving. But don't worry, we did not have French toast while decorating our Christmas tree in the evening. Oh, good. So that was we we kept those two separate. I'm one. We'll have breakfast for dinner later in uh the Christmas season. Later the Christmas season. There we go. There we go. Well, today uh we're jumping into this idea that, you know, Christmas, it can be a season that reminds us, you know, in a world full of instability, that Christ is our unshakable anchor. Uh so today's conversation really hits right at home, the heart of that truth, right? Our our episode today is Two Homes, One Truth. Navigating custody schedules with spiritual consistency. And for our listeners that have been with us for a while, you may remember back in episode 15 we covered this idea of um, you know, two households and how to kind of navigate this. But we know, you know, at Christmas time, it can really, you know, exacerbate a lot of the tensions that exist um, even if you're in one of the families where the two homes get along really well and and work together, there's still those tensions that that you need to navigate. So if you're a parent who shares custody, or if you know someone who does, uh you understand this emotional whiplash the season can bring, right? Different routines, expectations, rhythms. Yet one child who needs stability, grace, and the unchanging truth of Christ.
SPEAKER_00:Aaron Ross Powell And I think that's the most important part, right? I think so. Like as we're unpacking this parents, yes, this is for you, but but our heart really is with the child that's caught in the middle.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. And we know that you want to continue to disciple your child. You want to be there and influence them, whether they're with you or whether with your spouse, um, or if you're, you know, you have friends who have kids uh that are in in this situation, you know, you you have a heart for them. Uh so today we're we're gonna talk about how to keep discipleship steady when schedules are not. Um, you know, and how to make the non-negotiables truly non-negotiables, even when everything around is shifting, especially the month of December. Like routines go out the window. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Even on a normal school week when there's not craziness, you know, it's still December. So we understand what this looks like.
SPEAKER_00:So let's start with the emotional reality of two homes. And and I want us to start here because the stats are are truly sobering, right? The data, the research shows that roughly one in six children live in blended families. And according to the American Psychological Association, uh, which is not a Christian organization, um, but they have found that the holidays are statistically one of the most stressful times of the year. Uh and it's a reality that that is magnified for those parents that are co-parenting.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. I wonder if when they did that research, if they were like, well, duh, we know the answer to this, but then they're like, we're gonna prove it. We're gonna prove it. We're gonna prove it anyway. Because we I mean, that's for any of us, you know, the holidays can be really, really stressful just because you've got all of the stuff, right? Um but we don't want to get you know caught up in that um because behind every statistic is a child who is trying to answer this one question. You know, where do I fit? Um they're moving between homes, often experiences, you know, the the this transition, it comes with what psychologists call transition stress, right? Because their routine changes, expectations change, the authority figures change, and the more transitions there are, the more stress there is, right? Um, so what cannot change if they're gonna flourish spiritually is that spiritual foundation.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And this is where Advent speaks so powerfully, right? So so if your family or your church does the Advent calendar, uh the sorry, the Advent candles, right, the second week or the second candle of Adventure traditionally focuses on peace, right?
SPEAKER_01:Which that'll be this Sunday. So this will come out, you know, on Thursday, and then that next Sunday is second Advent.
SPEAKER_00:And so if your church uh does the Advent candles, um you might recall this, right? And so it's not about the absence of chaos, right? But peace is about the the presence of Christ. In fact, Isaiah 26 says this it says, you keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, and and that's the the stabilizing truth that we want our kids to know and to understand and to embrace.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's right. And so when we think about you know Deuteronomy six, right? We we it's probably our theme verse for this, you know, the theme passage for this podcast is we come back to that. It's it's the predictable rhythms, right? You're gonna talk about spiritual things with your kids when you walk by the way, when you rise up, when you lie down. You know, it's all of those routines. And so, you know, discipleship is not gonna happen spontaneously, spontaneously. Spontaneously. Wow, I've struggled on that word really bad. Spontaneously. Um and and there are gonna be moments that you take advantage of, right? But it's because you're intentional and you're looking for those moments. Um and so, you know, you need to have some type of rhythm built into your lifestyle where you can have those routines that turn into habits that turn into the character that that's being built within your child.
SPEAKER_00:And research from the Barnard group, um, Households of Faith, they did a study and it reveals that this really liberating truth, right? That long-term discipleship is shaped more by by consistent faith practices, and we've talked about this, right? Even if they're imperfect, then by that single big spiritual moments. And so, parents, sometimes you might think, well, if I can't do it perfectly every day, then it's not worth doing, but that's just not true. That's that's not what matters in the hearts of our kids. And so in split homes, consistency isn't about being perfect, it's not about having the perfect day, it's not about having the perfect calendar, but it's about how to figure out how do I anchor the heart of my child in consistent truth, even if everything else around them is changing from homes to where they're spending Christmas, where they're spending the weekends, but but how can we anchor their heart in truth? And and that leads us to the non-negotiables, right? Like, like what has to stay the same in both homes? And so let's talk about some practical stuff because parents, in these situations, you you you might be asking, well, what should I focus on when the schedule is changing all the time? And and we want to give you some non-negotiables, three of them that I think are are are easy, they're simple, uh, but they're very powerful. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I think I think it's really important here to remember that you know, even in and this this is for everybody, right? Maybe you're listening to this and you you don't have a split home, you know, you and your spouse are together, your kids, and and all of that. And so that maybe portion of this doesn't apply to you. But let's also acknowledge the fact that the holidays shift everybody's rhythm, right? And so sometimes in your routines, you've got to scale it back just to get down to the what is the bare minimum non-negotiable. You know, I'm traveling over the river, through the woods, I'm at grandma's house, and so I can't have my normal, you know, morning routine. Yep. But what's the most important the non-negotiable, right? So I think it would this kind of can work both ways there.
SPEAKER_00:And so let's start with just something very simple, right? Uh and we call it a daily word connection. It can be a five-minute devotion, it can be a scripture card, it can be reading a single verse, it can be listening to the Bible lab. Yeah. Um but what matters is that the word is present everywhere the child goes. So whether that's in mom's house, whether that's in dad's house, um, or or again to Nate's point, if you're listening to this and you're not a split family, but but just where your child is, making sure that you're having a daily word connection.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is, I mean, Christmas time, it gives you an excuse. Maybe you you aren't a family that has been doing family devotions or anything like that. There are a plethora, don't ask me to spell that, a plethora of Advent devotionals out there. There's um one of my favorite pastors, um, Ray Pritchard is his name, and he puts out so many different Advent devotionals. He's got a new one out this year. Pretty sure it was free on Amazon. So if it still is, go get the Kindle version for free. But it's um Behold the Lamb, and he's going through the Gospel of John, which is not a traditional Christmas story, right? But there, you that's a good excuse of like, I've got this Advent devotional, and I can I can read it and you know, read it with my kid, and you know, we'll we'll go through this, and it's you know, a verse, it's a devotional thought, it's Christmas themed, so you can kind of play it off that way. Um if it's a new rhythm. Um or it's it's kind of that bare minimum for you to get you know the word into your heart every day. Yep.
SPEAKER_00:And then number two is to build a consistent prayer rhythm. And if you've been listening to us for a while, you know that that a lot of this that we're telling you it's it's not new, right? Yep, yeah. Uh it's it's goes back to the very simple same truth, right? But find that consistent prayer rhythm, same time, same expectation. It might be different homes, right? But but it's the same God. And the same God that listens to your prayers at mom's is listening to your prayers at dads. And so a short prayer at bedtime or at breakfast, uh, it's gonna give your child that spiritual stability even when their physical environment is changing, maybe daily, maybe weekly, maybe just on the weekends.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great one because then you you're getting that, you can pair that with you know your time in the word with prayer. It doesn't have to be long, but it's it adds that consistency, uh, which adds to our third one, which is not a daily thing, but maybe have a weekly memory verse. Um, you know, this can be something that, again, they're reviewing maybe on their own or they're thinking about, or you know, maybe when they're not with you, you know, the it travels with them so that they can be, you know, meditating on the word of God. It doesn't have to be an elaborate system, right? Write a verse on a note card that you memorize with your child. And, you know, it it's you know, maybe a screenshot. If they're older, they've got a phone or on their iPad or whatever, you post it on the fridge and give them a copy to take to this, you know, the the other house. And just whatever it is, they've got that and they can keep it with them. You're memorizing the word of God. And it gives you kind of that anchor point of like, oh yeah, I'm still thinking about it, I'm still memorizing it.
SPEAKER_00:My favorite Bible verse at Christmas time, and I love reading it, is Luke 2.9. Um, and an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them. And they were filled with great fear. And the King James says, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them. And they were sore afraid.
SPEAKER_01:I think the Christmas story needs to be read in King James. Like I don't normally use the King James, but it's just so poetic, and it's just one of those classics. Like, if you've heard it, you've heard it in King James.
SPEAKER_00:And so if you need a Bible verse, uh Luke 2.9 would be a great one. Um and look, I know that I've heard from parents uh who say, but but the other home doesn't hold the same spiritual values, right? Like that's been a conversation that's been had with me. And parents, you don't use that as an excuse, right? Like, like just do it, right? You're not responsible for what happens in the other home, but but you just need to make sure that you're responsible for what God has entrusted you. And so if you get your child every weekend or every other weekend or every other day, then focus on what you can do in your home.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I think that's that's a great you know transition here because when we're talking about this, again, it's not about perfection. Um again, one of my favorite authors, John Acuff, he's a he's a Christian, um, but he doesn't kind of do it overtly in his writing. You'll see it kind of under under the radar, but he talks about how you know some beats none. He says that all the time in his podcasts and stuff. Some beats none. Something is better than nothing, right? And so, you know, you can you can bring this that grace-filled idea into your parenting with your child, even when they're not with you, right? Um and so there's kind of three ideas that go with this that help you stay grounded um as you are parenting your child, even if they're not always, always with you. The the first I would say is, you know, just lead with that idea of peace. Yeah, that's really good. You know, don't don't go into it trying to force anything, especially something that happens in the other home, right? That's only going to cause more conflict. You lead lead with peace. Romans 12 18 says, if possible, as far as it depends on you. Yeah. I love that phrase. As far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all, right? You can't control what happens in the other house, but you can control your tone, how you approach conversations with them, your expectations, how you talk to your child about the other home. So as far as it depends on you, you know, lead with peace.
SPEAKER_00:Aaron Powell, and that leads to tried into number two, right? Is communicate clearly. Um kids are not and should not ever be the messengers between parents, right? Parents, you must be the one who communicate directly and respectfully with the other parents.
SPEAKER_01:It's like that that uh the old kids game with telephone. Telephone like whisper and you whisper and it like goes down the line and it's just things get so messed up in transit translation.
SPEAKER_00:And look, you might be listening to this and be like, man, we just there's there's no way that we can lead with peace. There's no way we can communicate clearly with the other household. Um and so let me just give you a practical tip, right? Uh there's text messages. You you don't have to talk to the other person verbally. Um text a short text, right, that is factual and that is focused on the child. Yep, that's right.
SPEAKER_01:And then, you know, from there you can you can build bridges. Um, you know, when possible. You share simple expectations, right? This is what we do, this is our bedtime routine, this is our school root work routine, here's the key events, right? That's a big thing at Christmas time. We've got the Christmas play, here's the school play, here's the church play, here's the whatever, we're doing these events, um, the holiday transition. You don't want to blow up Christmas afternoon because of a tense transition, you know, as far as it depends on you, right? Live in peace. So when cooperation happens, you know, celebrate it, be thankful for it. Um, and when it doesn't, remain steady and and your child watches how you respond uh more than you know, um, even if you think they're not listening to the conversation or hearing what's going on on that phone call or whatever they are. Um and so just keep that in mind because even those moments, you are shepherding your child's heart in how you navigate those situations.
SPEAKER_00:That's really good. And I think, you know, let's just let's just continue talking about some practical tools. Yeah. So one of the things that that we want to make sure is that when when you're done listening to this episode, that that you have a game plan. And and and let's start with something simple, right? Um here's here's three things that you can do today, this week, right? Is is create a two-home discipleship plan. Especially if both parents are believers, right? Yeah. Mom and dad are are both Christians, mom and dad are actively involved in the church, then then come together and create a home discipleship plan that can be used with both homes. It doesn't have to be hard. One page, right? Simple bullet points, both homes have a copy of it. Uh and then you can even help the child create it, right? So these are the things that we're gonna do in our home to disciple my child or our child in this case. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. And ChatGBT can help you write that. Oh, yeah. Or Gemini. Or Gemini. Or grok. I don't know about grok. No. Perplexity. I don't think perplexity. Perplexity. I can't even say it. Have you used it? I have not used perplexity. I've used Claude. Yeah. I've used Claude too, yeah. I'm not a fan. Yeah. Yeah. I've used Grok. I've started using Grok a little bit. Really? Yeah. That is surprising. Is it? Yeah. We they're so off topic here.
SPEAKER_00:We'll have to revisit it. Go back to our AI episode from a few weeks ago. There you go.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. That was episode 33. But beside the point, you've got that two home discipleship plan. Again, simple bullet points. That could even be a note card, right? Um but another thing is just remember that as your child transitions, um, have them take everything they need to stay in the Word of God. Yeah. Right? They've got their Bible, they've got, you know, their devotion book if they've got one that, you know, especially if you've got the e-version of something, you know, that makes sure those things go. The memory verse card, the all the whatever pens, pencils, highlighters, you know, whatever your kid, you know, they might just be cobbling it together, but they need the things so that they can stay in the Word of God. If even if it's just here's my Bible that stays with me, that goes from house to house, it's it's a an anchor for them. So it should go wherever your child goes.
SPEAKER_00:And parents, you may have to take some responsibility here, right? So you're the one who's organizing it, you're the one who's putting it together. Um, or look, you know, maybe you guys are coming together and saying, okay, this is the Bible we're gonna get, so one stays at each household, right? This is the devotion book we're gonna get, so one's here, one's here. You know, you know, have that. Maybe you have to have two of everything, right? So that way you can do it. But but you have to have a way for your kid to be able to have the same routine in both homes. Yep. Um, and you're not trying to do something, something different. And look, it's it's 2025, almost 2026, right? So, I mean, we are less than 30 days from 2026, and so technology is a real thing. Like you can't use the excuse of I forgot. Yep. Uh, because technology makes it almost impossible to forget. You've got a phone, you've got a tablet, you've got an Alexa, right?
SPEAKER_01:And so set I wonder if somebody's Alexa just went off.
SPEAKER_00:Have have you upgraded to the new Alexa Plus? Do you have Alexa?
SPEAKER_01:No, I do not. It's creepy. Alexa, turn on the Christmas tree.
SPEAKER_00:Uh, and so, but you can set an alarm on your phone to go off to remind you to pray, right? Same alarm every day, same routine, right? A prayer alarm, a verse of the day notification. There's a Bible app now that pops up on your phone. And most kids, let's be honest, even though we may not agree with it, right? Have phones even really young. And so put the kids' Bible app on their phone so that one of their first notifications every day is the verse of the day. Uh, or just a nightly gratitude reminder. So maybe you need to put your phone and have a reminder that it goes off at the same time every day to remind you. Uh and look, this this can be for you, right? Just to call or message your child to remind them that you are praying for them at the same time every day.
SPEAKER_01:So and that way they know that your routine is not changing just because they're not there. Yes, yes. Um, that's a big thing for them. Yes. So this is this is great. Hopefully, you know, you have found these things you know practical and helpful. Uh so, Lewis, as we close out, you know, what what word of encouragement do you have uh to the parents listening to this?
SPEAKER_00:Look, if if if you're listening to this and you're navigating to homes, um, there's a lot that you're already dealing with. And so uh remember this your child's peace doesn't come from a perfect schedule, it doesn't come from perfect communication, it comes from the perfect, unchanging truth of Jesus Christ. And your consistency, even in the little things, right, even in small ways, is going to become a refuge for them. And and your faithfulness plant seeds that that will bear fruit long after the transitions end, right? Because at some point they're gonna grow up and they're not gonna be splitting time between two homes, right? They're gonna become adults, right? Uh, and and and they need to remember that your home, no matter which home it was, uh, can be a place where they found Christ, where they experienced Christ and they lived. And so as we continue through through this Christmas season, as we continue through Advent, uh, let's help our kids see the Prince of Peace standing steady in the middle of their shifting routines and challenges.
SPEAKER_01:That's great. So thank you for listening to Equipped for Impact today. If this episode encouraged you, uh please share it with another parent who could use this resource. Maybe even, you know, your your child's other parent if you're in a split home, or or maybe not, but anybody that could use it and and make sure that you subscribe so you don't miss our next episode as we continue our Christmas series. But until then, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.
