Stop Owning People Online And Start Baking Cookies

Rivalries are loud right now—online, at the table, even in the pews. We open 1 Corinthians 1 and see ourselves in Corinth’s mirror: factions, favorite teachers, and a drift toward cultural patterns that slice the church into teams. Then we go deeper, tracing how the gospel doesn’t just save us for later; it remakes us now—tearing down dividing walls and forming a new creation where enemies become family and secondary issues lose their grip.

We share four habits that turn listeners into peacemakers: forgive quickly, apologize honestly, communicate clearly, and choose unity deliberately. Along the way, we name the hard stuff—hypocrisy that harms witness, politics elevated over Christ, and the myth that silence equals peace. You’ll hear why unity is not the absence of conflict but the presence of reconciliation, and how to aim for winning your sibling instead of winning the argument. We sit with Ephesians 2 to ground this work in grace, not grind: forgiven people can forgive because they remember the debt that was canceled.

This conversation gets practical. From curating what shapes your identity to shutting down gossip by speaking well of the absent, we outline steps for building a diverse, durable community that can hold tension without breaking. A story about patient persuasion—baking cookies instead of throwing bombs—shows what costly love can do over time. The heartbeat is simple and stubborn: Jesus first, essentials held in common, charity everywhere else. Hate divides; unity holds. If that vision stirs you, come build it with us.

If this resonated, follow the podcast, share it with a friend, and leave a review telling us where you’re choosing unity this week.

Transcript

Welcome, Bibles, And A Growing Hunger

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the City Life Church podcast. We hope it encourages you. If you'd like to learn more about City Life or our mission, connect with us online at CityLifeSandiego.org. And while podcasts and Sunday mornings are helpful, they are no substitute for deeper personal relationships in the church.

Prayer For A Divided World

Hypocrisy, Scandal, And The Church’s Witness

SPEAKER_01 0:36

I feel like this morning came earlier. I don't know about you guys, but it just felt earlier today. I don't know why, but uh I bet you 1045 is gonna be a little more full this week. Um today we're gonna be in our Bibles in 1 Corinthians 1. That's 1 Corinthians 1. Now, if you don't have a good Bible, a good study Bible, um we would love to give you one. We have them on that side and on that side of the room. Uh they're leather, uh, they're nice. We also have Bibles in uh bilingual Bibles. We have uh Haitian crayon Bibles and we have um them in Tagalog. This is an interesting season, friends. Um and uh one of the things that's cool about this season is that I've noticed there are young people who are very interested in the ways of God in ways that I've not seen since I was a young people. And uh I feel like God is doing something new. And what I love is I love that the Bible studies at the school are filling up, that we're running out of room at the school. Um it's not a Christian school by any means. And yet here we are today getting to share the good news with our community, and we're seeing kids not only like come to Jesus but start to lead. And um, I'm excited, and some of these kids are gonna want to lead in different ways than you would like, and I hope that together we can be willing to like uh put their voices first and let them lead in some ways that we don't like. So I hope that as you're seeing, we are seeing people being baptized. We have uh we had someone uh message me that they came to Jesus uh two days ago. Um we had someone come to Jesus two weeks ago, um, and we had someone come to Jesus four weeks ago. So we are seeing uh faith increase in our people, and so I hope that that together we can seek unity for for these as well. Um I hope you're with me in 1 Corinthians 1. Um if you are not, then you can listen. Here we go. 1 Corinthians 1, 10. This is God's word. Now I urge you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree in what you say, that there be no divisions among you, and that you be united with the same understanding and the same conviction. For it has been reported to me about you, my brothers and sisters, by members of Chloe's people, that there is a rivalry among you. What I am saying is this one of you says, I belong to Paul, or I belong to Apollos, or I belong to Cephas, or I belong to Christ. Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in Paul's name? Okay, guys, we're gonna get deeper into this, but let's pray first. Father, we come before you today with mixed emotions. Once again, our country is divided, while each day stokes fires of hatred and fear. Lord, we grieve with those involved with recent ice shootings. We ask that you would bring comfort and justice to everyone involved. We seek your blessing on the people of Venezuela. Please watch over that country, protect them from anyone who might want to use or abuse them. And Father, as we consider the many sorrows and suffering multiplied throughout the world, fathers and mothers grieving the losses of their children in Israel, Palestine, Ukraine, Haiti, we pray that you would feel present in profound and beautiful ways. We pray for honest peacemakers to rise to prominence by your power. Would you save people who stir up violence and make them meek and kind? But change us first. You have made us the salt of the earth. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Let your light shine bright through your church. A light for love, a light for compassion, a light for mercy. Please teach us this morning. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of our hearts be pleasing to you. We pray this all in Jesus' name, and all God's people said, Amen. All right. Sometimes people will come to this place, this very imperfect place, and they'll they'll come down on us. And there's times when I'm like, you're right. But you know what I've heard about just about any church. If you come to me from another church, this is what you will often say to me. I will hear, that church is full of hypocrites. I've heard it said about pretty much every church. Some people will come and tell me about their last church, and all I want to do is I just want to change the subject, honestly. All churches have hypocrites, all of them. Like, whenever I hear about hypocrites in our church, though, I'm I'm surprised. Um, what is a hypocrite anyway? It's an actor, right? That's what it that's what a hypocrite was. In Jesus' day, he used the term actor. You actors, right? People who put on a mask and they pretend to be someone that they're not. Sometimes we might be living the life out there, and then we come in here, we put on the happy mask, and we say that we're fine. We say that we got it under control, that we see God has us. That's what a hypocrite is. But I'm surprised when somebody says it about this church. Um because we're open here. Like we're honest here. Like um, like we all have to admit um that like we struggle here sometimes, right? Like people come in here and they just say, hey, this is my junk. Like, this is my problems, this is what I'm doing, this is where I'm screwed up. Now, the thing is though, like Christians are known to be hypocrites. Like another famous pastor, super famous pastor recently, was cheating on his wife for eight years, man. Like a dude I looked up to for like eight freaking years was cheating on his wife with a married woman. What does that do to the church? It confirms what they say about us, that we are liars, that we are hypocrites. That's a problem, guys. Uh, it does damage to the church. And purity and fidelity do matter, but today I'm gonna give you four things that we especially need to do if we truly want to share the love of God with the people.

unknown 6:41

Let's try this one.

Four Practices Of Peacemakers

Corinth’s Rivalries And Ours

Allegiance To Jesus Over Culture And Politics

Learning To Disagree Without Dividing

The New Creation That Breaks Walls

Refusing To Split Over Secondary Issues

Identity, Social Media, And Real Unity

Seeking Reconciliation With Costly Love

A Family Story Of Patient Persuasion

Choosing UNITY And Orthodox Essentials

The King’s Mercy And Our Forgiveness

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Check. There we go. Yeah, I'm pretty loud anyway, aren't I? I got that shrill nasal voice. Um, but this will record for the podcast for other people. So, alright. Um Thank you, sir. Um, but there are four things that we especially want to share with the people around us, and and that would be forgive. Uh, sorry. Can I just stop, collaborate? Um, there are four things I believe we especially need to do if we truly want to share the love of God with the people around us. Quickly, those things are we need to forgive, we need to apologize, we need to be honest and communicate, and we need to choose unity. Today's gonna be about the unity part. But we need to forgive, we need to apologize, we need to be honest and communicate, and we need to choose unity. Jesus would call those people peacemakers. Today is about unity because our God is bigger than our divisions. Is he not, church? When the task is too great, the Holy Spirit can equip his children to overcome rivalries. Our God is big enough to unify his messy church in love. Because let me tell you, word gets out about rivalries in the church, mostly because we like to shout it from the rooftops. Like people don't gotta look into it. We we yell it, and those things confirm what people thought about us already, don't they? And and they confirm that God is not bigger than our differences. So you saw in verse 11 for it had been reported to me about you. Paul was hearing things, it was coming back to him. It has been reported to me about you, my brothers and sisters, by members of Chloe's people that there are rivalries among you. People were not uh taught uh people were talking about the Corinthians, the Corinthian church. It was not good talk that was going around, was it? It was confirming their judgments of the Christians, they already hated them. The Corinthian Christians were fighting over everything at this point. Some dude was sleeping with somebody else's wife, one dude was sleeping with a family member. Christians were suing each other in Roman court. They fought over how to do worship and were sometimes shouting over each other in the service. Some of them got drunk on communion wine, and the wealthy people wouldn't share their food with the poor. Some tried to police the food that other people ate. Like, you can't eat that. You're not allowed to eat that. It's like some of y'all uh might judge me for eating mayon mayonnaise, you know, like like like mayonnaise is ambrosia for white people. Did you know that? Like, we love mayonnaise, don't come at us, like you don't got to divide over this. But people were fighting and hurting the church, but the core of their disagreements was in who they were following. It was a big thing. You would hear, I follow Apollos. Apollos is an amazing speaker. I follow Paul, he's a bad speaker, um, but he writes really good letters and he starts churches. I follow Peter, that dude was friends with Jesus. Now, this was a normal thing already for Corinthians, though, you guys, but it should not have been a normal thing for Corinthian Christians. It was the mold that was set for them by the Corinthians, but it was not the right one. Now I want to read to you some writings from that time. This is Diogenes of Corinth when he described Corinthian culture. He said one could hear crowds of wretched sophists, that would be like philosophers, around Poseidon's temple, shouting and reviling one another. Their disciples, as they were called, fighting with one another. The tension between the orators and their disciples could become so intense that it issued in violence. See, that was how normal Corinthians behaved, but not Christian Corinthians, right? Like our God is big enough to unify his church in love. Hate divides, unity holds. See, the Bible shows that it's important to belong to a local church, and and to divide uh is to give the devil a foothold in the church. It means we are playing the game by his rules when we fight over politics. We are like those Corinthians letting our culture take precedence over our new family ties in Jesus. When you get saved, you surrender to Jesus first. It's no longer country and God. No, no, no, it's God first. Did you know in China that they have plenty of Christian churches? The communist government of China says you can worship God uh however you like so long as the Chinese Communist Party goes first. You can have a state-approved Bible in China. You actually do. They have a Chinese Communist Party Bible that they have edited to their liking. But God doesn't share, does he? Our allegiances belong to him first, not China, not Corinth, not San Diego, not United States, not our family. God comes before our families, before our countries, before our ethnicities. Can we celebrate things that make us unique? Yes, you better. Our culture, our heritage, yes, but never before God, because hate divides and unity holds. God comes first. It's the same as who you listen to, though. Now I have so many pastors that I really appreciate. The Hottie Lewis, Matt Chandler, Eric Mason, Tony Evans, Tim Keller, Justo Gonzalez, Charles Spurgeon, Thabidi Anyabwilly. I have learned so much from these dudes. But if they say something that is contrasting scripture, I have to recognize immediately that I belong to Jesus first. If someone dislikes the pastors I like, we don't gotta become rivals over it. It's okay. I probably don't like the pastors you like either. But if you have a different view on end times or women in ministry, gifts of the spirit, holidays, we don't gotta be rivals about it though. If you like it better when Pastor Mark or Brother Isaiah preach, it doesn't hurt my feelings. I'm not mad at you. I'm okay. We're not enemies, we are friends. And Isaiah and Mark bless me. In 2020, some of you thought Fauci could do no right. I'm gonna be honest. I thought he was honest, and I thought he was the leader we needed. But if there were an honest assessment, we were both a little wrong, weren't we? People divided over things that we need not divide over. I remember a family coming to me and saying, Pastor, we're not vaccinated. Can we still come to church? And it was in that moment that I knew I screwed up. That I had made church so much about one thing that I missed it. That I missed it. Then George Floyd was killed in Minnesota and people divided again. People couldn't have family meals anymore. Then January 6th happened, then Ukraine was attacked by Russia, then Israel was attacked, then Palestine was attacked. Our divided people fractured into smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller pieces till it's just you and your house and your phone. But I had some friends also who disagreed with me. And our conversations got better. We leaned into our nuanced disagreements. We found that we could stay united without focusing on rivalries. But at the same time, most people, not most, many people left their home churches. And they searched for churches that fully agreed with them on Fauci, George Floyd, Ukraine, January 6th, abortion, Trump, and Israel. And possibly, maybe, just maybe the Bible. Friends, it doesn't matter if someone disagrees with you about these things as much as are we listening to each other? Are we learning from each other? Do we show care and compassion for each other? Or do we allow division to win the day? There is something so much bigger at stake here, friends. It's hope. Can we dare hope Jesus is bigger if brothers and sisters cannot get along? Guys, tenacious unity should defy even the noisiest hatred because hate divides and unity holds. Now, the good news of Jesus is that He is not, He not only offers to save you for heaven, but for this earth, for others. God has made all of us into a united new creation. But it takes God's spirit and it takes Christian maturity to unite with people who disagree. Let me read to you from Ephesians 2. It says you were once without Christ, excluded from the citizenship of Israel, foreigners to the covenants of promise, without hope, without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus, you who were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he is our peace, who made both groups one, tore down the dividing wall of hostility. In his flesh he made no effect the law consisting of commands and expressed in regulation, so he might create in himself one new man from the two, resulting in peace. It says that he creates a kinos, a new creation. Guys, what this means is it's not like the Apple 10 going to the Apple 11. This is like we have no phone and now we have a new phone. It's a whole new thing that cannot be compared to anything else. We are a new, united people in God that has never existed in any other way. The gospel unites people. The gospel tears down walls of racism and classism. The gift of the cross takes enemies, makes them friends and family. We've had people from opposing gangs in this church painting murals together. And it was not that long ago that they were painting murals over each other in this neighborhood. But now they have been made into a new kinos, a new creation. We have people from all different backgrounds because Jesus made us into something new. The gospel takes Serenos and Norteños and completely changes who they are. Jesus makes them into someone new, a new invention. This is a beautiful church, friends. A hospital full of recovering workaholics, addicts, a hospital full of recovering narcissists, introverts, extroverts, cat lovers, dog lovers. But because of Jesus, we unite as one family because hatred divides, but unity holds. Now City Life Church will be healthy when spiritual brothers and sisters do these two things. These are my two main points for you today, and I'll hopefully go quick, God willing. A secret number one. City Life Church will be healthy when spiritual brothers and sisters stubbornly, stubbornly refuse to divide over secondary issues. When we stubbornly refuse to divide over secondary issues. Verse 10. Now I urge you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that there be no division among you. See, Paul did something special here in just a couple words, didn't he? He identified those who belong to Jesus are recognized by Jesus' name, and that they're brothers and sisters. The believers in the room who disagree with you, friends, they sit under the name of Jesus, and they are your brothers and sisters in Christ. They are children of God. Now let me ask you, how do you treat someone you care about? How do you treat their them? But how do you treat their kids? Is the question. I'm gonna let you in on a well-known secret in our church. I don't particularly love babies. Like they smell like early, especially early babies, you know what I mean? Like your kids are fine. Um, but like when they're a certain size, they just smell and they cry, and that's it. They don't they don't know how to smile yet, and I'm just like okay, yeah, you know, alright, I'm fine with them. Um but but the thing is like I still love kids, and I love my kids especially. I love my kids especially. And um there is a reason though that I love your kids. And do you have any idea why I love your kids so much? I love you. I love you, that's why I love your kids so much. Like, I'm not a baby person, but I adore your kids. Um now, what if I said your kids were dumb? And like, not in a fun way, like, man, that kid is so smart, but they can be so dumb. Well, some of you might agree, but most parents in the room, you would take offense, right? You should. Now, how do you think God feels when you disrespect his children? Even if they are acting dumb, even if they get the Bible wrong, even if they did a racism. Well, I'm glad you asked. Listen to Jesus in Matthew 5. He said, You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, do not murder, and whoever murders will be subject subject to judgment. But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Whoever insults his brother or sister will be subject to the court. Whoever says you fool will be subject to hellfire. Those are the words of Jesus. Guys, if you belong to God, you are a child of God. Stop insulting and fighting his kids. There are two intimate relationships that are given here. We see that we are God's children, and we see that we are siblings to Jesus with each other. To those of you who belong to Jesus, you are called the household of God. You are called the church, the body of Jesus, the bride of Jesus. This is a room full of hypocrites and sinners, and they are your family. Jesus purchased you by his blood, he paid your ransom, and now if you belong to Jesus, he provides a family. Now, if my kid does something stupid in your presence and you smack the taste out of their mouth, I don't care who you are. We're gonna have words at least. We can help each other out and help parents. Our community, like I had neighbors and people that would spank me, but when you make it mean, when you make it violent or personal, you are attacking me. When you attack God's very imperfect children, you attack God. Now, many of you know I have no desire to fight anyone ever. Like I tell people on the block, like, if somebody hurt me, my dream would be to take it. That would be my dream to just take it. I mean, I'd probably back away, you know, but like my goal is not to fight back. But I like I want to show peace and love to everyone. That is what I want to do. But if you would like to try me, if you would like to find out if I still know how to fight, mess with my kids and find out. I've already told my daughter, I am willing to go to jail for you to keep you safe. Matt Chandler, he's a pastor in Texas, he said uh he never knew he could shoot a man till his daughter was born. So stop fighting with God's kids. They are his kids. He loves them more than I love my children. He has grace for them, he adores them, he died for them. Just like you, the Bible says he has tender thoughts towards them. His thoughts for his children are vast and numerous as the sand on the shore, friends. Yes, his children can be dumb, but we don't divide over this stuff, do we? Friends, there will be times when you need to repeat this over and over to yourself. I have something like a prayer that I have to say. God, I know the devil seeks to divide and conquer. I am going to love this person even if I disagree with them. You have torn down the dividing wall of hostility between us. Father, help me to see them with the same love you had for me and help me to seek unity. That is a prayer I have to say again and again and again. And you may not know this, but sometimes pastors receive some pretty cheap shots. I have to pray this at the same time. Now, being unified also means you're careful who you identify with first, right? Who or how do you identify first? It's if it's not with God, it's in the wrong place. Your identity outside of Jesus is temporary. Your identity as a mom or a dad, a husband or a wife, a hard worker, a gang member, anything else, those things can change very quickly. You can have a stroke and all of a sudden everything changes. My identity as a pastor can change in a moment if another driver checks their phone too long on the other side of the street. It can change that quickly. Now, if we are getting much of our Christian information on social media rather than real humans in the church, we are going to put our identity in the wrong thing and we are going to divide. We have to choose unity because our God is big enough to unify his church in love. And let me just say this too: silence is not unity. Ghosting is not unity, it's cowardice. It's ignoring a festering wound and calling it unity. If you have something against someone, you have to do more than just hate or disagree with them behind their back. You have to truly seek not to be divided inwardly and outwardly, but more importantly, with them. God helps us with this, and I think it can get easier over time. But church, it's not easy. It will never be easy. We have people with all the opinions in this room and at the 1045. You know, we have people in here that love Gavin Newsom and Todd Gloria. Don't boo or anything, please. We have people in here that support Donald Trump and RFK. Uh statistics show that people are more likely to marry someone of their political persuasion than their religious beliefs. Guys, if you would rather spend time with a Satanist because they hate a certain politician, that's a you problem. If you cannot have Christian friends on both sides of certain issues, the problem lies with you and me. Your identity, your idol is now politics. But once again, seeking unity, it's tiring, it's exhausting. Seeking unity is more difficult. But when you are fighting for unity and you find it, you recognize it was worth it. And I will tell you, there are days when I spend hours talking to people after a service because I said one thing that politically upset them. I did a couple weeks ago, and it was worth working it out with them. I've spent hours with a pastor the last couple weeks, though, who thought I was too woke. He told me he actively discourages people from going to my church. I spent dozens of hours trying to work it out with him. He says I preach the Bible and the correct biblical gospel, but he refuses to let us focus on that. He's focused on the wrong thing. I've sought unity in every way, and he said no, and I've tried and I've tried, and at some point I've backed off, but I've tried. Do you guys know what devil means in Greek? Diabolos. I'm probably saying it wrong. It literally means to throw apart, to sow discord, to splinter. He's called his name is divider. Now we've had moments where someone tried to recruit others for a cult from our church, and we break it off with those people. That's an extreme example. But these days, you we tend to call everyone toxic for just about anything, right? Like you got to seek yourself, take care of yourself. Everybody's toxic out there. Everyone in the room is toxic in different ways. It doesn't mean you have to be everyone's friends, but not everything is worth separating over friends. It doesn't mean you should stay in abuse. Hear me, don't stay in abuse. But annoying ain't toxic, is it? It's annoying. That's a difference. God is not desiring to separate spiritual brothers and sisters. He's honored when we fight about little things for unity. When we sit under the name of Jesus, we are sons and daughters of God and we choose to fight for unity. Matthew 5, Jesus says, So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, then come offer your gift. In Matthew 18, Jesus also said, If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens, you have won your brother. This is about winning someone towards you, not winning the argument. What's the purpose of confronting your brother and sister in Christ? Reconciliation, peace, unity. Christians aren't called to win arguments. We are called to love ferociously. We are called to communicate, we are called to forgive, and we're called to love each other. Because how did Jesus say the world would know us? By the way we love each other. John 13, 35. Stop trying to own the libs, stop trying to own the MAGA group. Do you even think by posting articles or arguing with them that they even hear you? They don't. They're just as insulated as you are. Why not instead seek to love people who disagree with us? Like Jesus loved us in our sin. Huh? Well, like, why not love people so well that they ask us what we think? Wouldn't that be great? Now there is a famous theologian. His name is Triple E. Actually, he's a poet. Actually, he's a rapper. Actually, he's a pastor. But tell me that he's not speaking fire here. Now, I wanted to play you the whole song, but instead I'm just gonna give you a couple of my favorite lines from Triple E. Can we put that up? I'm gonna just say it to you if that's alright. So he says, Everything is ammo, everybody's strapped. These days we all like picking sides, all we do is criticize, need no script, we improvise, even if it's lies. Who said the mark of a good disciple is a new rifle? They think the only way for backing up zeal is racking up kills. We know what we hate, we know what we ain't, but if he calls us saints, what kind of picture do we paint? If the highest virtue is takedown, then to climb up, we leave them face down. But my Lord's life, it was laid down. All I can say is put your weapons down. That's poetry. It is. Hate divides, unity holds. But friends, when we refuse to divide, be quiet, it's not gonna do it. We have to actively seek reconciliation. Relationship takes work, and if we are different from each other, it takes more work. And let me just tell you: you are a multicultural, multi-ethnic, multi-socioeconomic, multi-political church. That's gonna take more work because we have different experiences and backgrounds and different traumas. It's gonna be work to understand each other, and it's worth it. Way more work than talking to all the people that disagree with you. But guess what? You will grow too. I remember uh the time that I I got I got told that I needed to tell my dad that he needed to go into a rest home. He was uh pretty ill at that point uh mentally, and he was turning on the burners and leaving them on with just gas. You know, it's things like that. And I had to tell him, Dad, it's time for you to go into a home. He made it two weeks. He made it two weeks. As my mom was getting older, she's uh uh gonna be 80 this year. As my mom was getting older, we started to have the conversation. Mom, build your house behind our house. I was like so sure of it. Like, mom, you could build a house behind our house and we could be there for you. And she was like, nah, you know what, I'll just go to rest home. And I was like, Yeah, right. But then over time I keep trying to convince her, Mom, build your house behind it. We want to be there for you. Then she had a stroke, then she had cancer, and then she couldn't drive, and then we had to drive down to Chula Wana, Chula Vista, and drive her around to all her doctor's appointments. And by we, I say uh my wife. And over time we we convinced her, maybe it's time to build a house. She said, I'll build it, but I'm not gonna live there. That's okay. So it took like three years to build this house, praise God, and she paid for it. Um but here's the thing that I couldn't force her to come, I couldn't force her to come no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted her to be there so we could care for her, but she wasn't having it. She wasn't having it. So what we did instead is I went to her house and I said, Mom, what statues do you love in your backyard? Could I put them in the backyard? And she was like, I want this giant Buddha. And I was like, What else? But I put some of her statues up in my backyard, and then I started planting trees to make it peace-giving, planted pine. I knew she liked jacaranda. She loves the song Purple Rain by a prince. So I knew I put jacaranda because it has purple rain. I put up a Tori pine. She loves a fruit called a Fuyu persimmon. I planted it. I started mowing and sweeping the backyard more. I painted the concrete in the backyard red. Why? Because it makes the green look brighter. I put up new bird feeders for her. I put a bird bath up. Soon she started coming part-time. I just want to say this week, this week, she let me know she likes it and she wants to start adjusting to live there full time. Now, if I saw her as an enemy who needed to be won over and fought, rather than showing her compassion and love. And guys, I could tell you a lot of stories how I didn't do this, but I just give you the good one, right? Um, guys, if you're trying to convince another Christian to come to your side, um don't sit behind a wall and hurl bombs at them to win them over. It doesn't work. Instead, what do you do? You bake cookies, man. You plant trees and flowers, you you go to them and you respectfully learn why they are the way that they are, and then you earn the right to speak. Even if it takes a decade, you earn the right to speak. If you're a new believer, I suggest that you stay on your side with the church and get trained up uh till you safely know what you believe, and then you start to do that too. Now, let me give you my second point. City Life Church will be healthy only when spiritual brothers and sisters choose unity. Uh, City Life Church will be healthy only when spiritual brothers and sisters choose UNITY. Verse 10. Now I urge you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree in what you say and that you be united with the same understanding and the same conviction, it continues. So agree, but we agree in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Friends, um, it's all done in the name of Jesus. But why? Because we all understand we need the goodness of Jesus in our life. We can't be good enough. That gives you humility, right? I'm not good enough. Some of you are striving and striving to do good things, but in the end they will leave you feeling empty. You will feel not good enough. Why? Because you're not good enough, only Jesus was. Jesus says in Matthew 5, Blessed are the poor in spirit. That's the spiritually bankrupt. Some of you in the room need to finally admit that you cannot earn it. Only He can. Only Jesus is your goodness. But when you make him the authority in your life, when you repent of your sins and you choose to follow him with everything, that's when he can do great, miraculous things through you. He saves you, and and only he can save you. You cannot. But then once you are saved, God starts to have the fruit of the Spirit in you, doing things that you thought you could never do, and that's the beauty of the gospel that when Jesus died on the cross and he rose again as our sacrifice, that he revealed that he was bigger than death, he was bigger than sin. You think that he doesn't have the power to reconcile you with someone who hates you? He does. The beauty of the gospel is that it's leveling, there's no hierarchy, right? Yes, some of us have learned more than you, but we are not any better than you. The longer we know Jesus, the more humility we end up having. The longer I have known Jesus, the more often I have realized I don't know as much as I thought. What we agree on matters, friends. We have to agree on the Bible, the scripture. We agree that Jesus is some someone we all need to get to the Father, that Jesus is the only way to heaven, not by any amount of works we could do. We believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, God in three persons. We agree on the things that make up Orthodox theology. Basically, the things that have been accepted by the church for thousands of years, we unify with them. Now, there was a quote that has often been attributed to African bishop Augustine Ahippo. It is this in essentials, unity, in non-essentials, liberty, in all things, charity. See, we can have charity when we understand our place, that we need Jesus, that we're not as intelligent or great as we think. Not your place under me, the pastor, your place under Jesus, my place under Jesus. You are a sinner that comes from a long line of sinners like me. Now in Matthew 18, Jesus tells a story of a king who wanted to bring his accounts up to date, and I'll be closing, don't worry. Um, so he checked in on, excuse me, so a king wanted to see who owed him money, and he checked in on it. One of his debtors, um I'm gonna name Gerald, owed him something like the equivalent of a million dollars. Money he could never pay back on his yearly salary. And so when Gerald was dragged before the king, it was decided the king would sell him and his entire family into slavery and make him pay it back. The king was filled with pity and benevolence because Gerald cried before him. Please, sir, I will do whatever it takes to pay you back. Just let me and my family have our freedom. Just please let us have our freedom. You know what the king said? He said, I would like to forgive your debt. You won't even have to pay me back. I'd love to give you a new lease on life. Go in peace, fully forgiven. The man was grateful, a million dollars of debt erased in a moment. But that meant his account was still empty, didn't it? It just wasn't negative anymore. So he put on his game face and he went directly to his old friend Maurice's house. This friend Maurice had borrowed a couple thousand bucks from him back in the day. And he pounded on the door. Maurice, open up. Maurice was startled. But quickly ran to the door. His apartment was sparse. He had half a rotisserie chicken, he had some ketchup in the fridge, his cabinet had some dry rice and some beans. He had no bed but a thick layer of blankets for him, his girlfriend, and his infant son. Maurice saw the fire in Gerald's eyes. But what could he do? He opened the door part way and Gerald kicked the rest of the door open. He looked around and he put Maurice in a tight bear hug and he said, You owe me a thousand dollars, fool. I'm done waiting. Give me my money or I'm killing you in smoky. My family needs food, I need rent. He let go and his old friend tumbled to the ground. Maurice panicked. He wouldn't get paid for another week and he had four dollars in his pocket. What was he gonna do? But he was waiting on a bonus at work that would at least cover half of what he owed, if not more. And he said, I don't have it yet, but man, man, man, I could get it. I could get it. But as Maurice picked himself up off the floor, Gerald was already on the phone with the cops, reporting his money stolen. An hour later, Maurice was in the back of a police car, but Maurice's girlfriend didn't think that was right. So she made a call to a friend who worked in the king's office, trying to get some kind of reprieve for Maurice. The friend told her that Gerald had already been forgiven a million dollars that very day. But when he cried his eyes out before the king, he was shown mercy. Her friend thought the king might want to know about what happened to Maurice. When the king found out, he was livid. So the king had his henchmen drag Gerald into his throne room. Gerald soiled himself, he was terrified. What's he gonna do now? The king was in rage mode. He said, You evil fool, did you not think I would find out? I forgave your enormous debt because you pleaded and cried like a girl. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you? Then the angry king sent Gerald to prison to be tortured until he paid his entire debt. To directly quote Jesus, that's what my heavenly father would do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart. Guys, we're beggars at the master's table. When we recognize this, it's so much easier to choose unity because we don't think we deserve it either. There's no arrogance in everything I have, every breath I have is a gift from God. When we recognize how very much we've been forgiven, it's easier to show grace to someone who doesn't deserve it. Someone just like us. Now, all of you are gonna have to make decisions about who you are united with. I encourage you to spend a lot of time with people who encourage you in faith. But choose grace when Christians are unhealthy. Don't worry so much about their sins. Think ten times as much about your own sin before you consider the sins of others. And I want you to be encouraged unified to people who talk well about other people behind their back. Nothing shuts down gossip like speaking well of people who aren't in the room. Gossip takes two people: one to share, one to listen. Guys, if you're struggling to smoke weed or drink, don't spend time with folks who think it's fine. If you find yourself angry all the time, find you some people who are just like annoying in how happy they are. It's always positive. And then be committed to them through thick and thin. Don't follow Instagram accounts that glamorize sin. You can unfollow your friends without them knowing. Be unified with people who build, not tear down, people who are seeking Jesus, people who want you and others to thrive. If you're struggling in marriage, don't spend time with people who will encourage you to get divorced. And if you don't know any of those types of people, be that person. Be the person you need, be the uniter you need, be the blessing you need. Hate divides, unity holds. In the next chapter of Corinthians, the apostle Paul says, I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Guys, you can dig your heels in on big things or little things. I choose the big stuff. You've been forgiven, so you can forgive. And when someone has a different opinion in our church, it's if it's not the main stuff, you can still love them. Matter of fact, when you have Jesus, you will find yourself liking people you never thought you would like. You will find yourself agreeing with people on the other side of the aisle. Do you know Pastor Mark Santos? Do you know how much I have in common with that man? Age. Uh-uh. Politics, no, not usually. Skin color, nope. Do we watch the same TV show? No, no, we don't watch the same TV shows. Uh, does he even like the sports I like? He doesn't like sports that much. But you know what we have? Is we have Jesus. We love praying together. We love each other's families. My kids call him grandpa. Jesus is not only enough, he's more than enough to unify us. Now, I want to tell you that story one more time that I just told you, but I want to say it a little different. Okay, uh, just a little different way. Now, where were we? Okay, yeah, here we go. Let's start back here. Gerald fell down before the king and he cried. Please, sir, I will do whatever it takes to pay you back. Let me and my family have our freedom. We will do anything it takes. And the king was filled with pity and benevolence. He felt compassion in his gut for poor Gerald. You know what? I'd like to forgive your debt. You won't even have to pay me back. I'd love to give you a new lease on life. Go and be at peace. You've heard this, right? Does this sound familiar? Gerald was grateful. A million dollars of debt erased in a moment. Who would he tell first? His wife, his friends? His bank account was still empty. It just wasn't negative anymore. So he hustled directly to his old friend Maurice's house. Now Maurice had borrowed a couple thousand bucks from him. He pounded on the door. Maurice, open up. Maurice was startled but quickly ran to the door. His apartment was sparse. Sound familiar? He had half a rotisserie chicken, some ketchup in the fridge, his cabinet had some dry rice and beans. He had no bed but a thick layer of blankets for him, his girlfriend, and his infant son. But Gerald shoved the door open. He was almost dancing. Maurice, you will never guess what happened. I owed the king a million dollars and he forgave me. He forgave me. I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent. I don't know how I'm gonna feed my family, but what I do know is I owe a million dollars and now I'm in the black. Maurice smiled. Well, I I know I owe you a couple thousand dollars, and I Gerald interrupted him. Bro, if the king forgave me a million dollars, how could I not forgive a couple thousand? Our family will figure this out. Maurice thought for a minute. You know, a two-bedroom just opened up, and I'm getting a bonus next week. Maybe we could rent that place together. I have extra blankets, you could stay here until next week, and then after next month, maybe we could split the rent if that's okay. Gerald picked up Maurice and put him in a bear hug and then gently placed them back down on the ground. A few minutes later, two families gathered around a feast of red beans and rice and completely cleaned out the rotisserie chicken. After a year, both families were able to get their own place and they all had beds and enough to eat. They never forgot the forgiveness they received, and they were generous to everyone in need. They were better together. And so, church, so are we. We don't encourage you to be in city groups and to attend Sunday services every week because we like making our rules. No, no, we do this because we need each other. And when we isolate, we tend to struggle in unity. But when we're together, we tend to find unity. Don't listen to the devil who divides you and sends you away. We're better together, better united, better in unity. It's not easy, but God gives us forgiven people the strength of his spirit to get through this. Remember, unity is not silence. It is not. Unity is not bouncing or ghosting to preserve peace. No. When you have a problem with someone, you go to them in love with a desire for reconciliation, a desire to work it out. It might even be a misunderstanding. Heck, you might even learn something or become closer to that person. You might grow to love that person, you might even grow to like that person. So I say this to close City Life Church and guests. Our God is more than big enough to unify his church in love. And by his power, our tenacious unity defies even the noisiest hatred. Because hate divides and unity holds. Let's pray. Father, we love.