LSU Girls Hate Susan's Husband Too

The cultural collision between Southern charm and D.C. power dynamics takes center stage in this lively episode. A carful of Louisiana college interns working on Capitol Hill brings unapologetic Southern hospitality to the nation’s capital—with hilariously revealing results.

The conversation begins with the backstory of the now-infamous “Susan’s Husband” episode, as these polite Southern riders demonstrate proper rideshare etiquette in stark contrast to Susan’s discourteous spouse. 

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Transcript

Introduction to Rideshare Road Talk

Speaker 1 0:12

Welcome to another episode of Rideshare Road Talk Conversations in Motion, a podcast where we create unfiltered talk space that examines the meaningful lives of my passengers while engaging in personal and topical discussions. Examines the meaningful lives of my passengers while engaging in personal and topical discussions. I'm your host and driver, john Fondas, and we're cruising the streets of Washington DC. Buckle up, let's drive. Hi, ladies, hi, how are you? I was just going to just watch you do your thing. There's room for six, if you need. Oh, we only have four, but that's not the price. Yeah sure, let me just move all this shit around, hold on.

Speaker 2 0:47

There's no shit, there's just it's a nice co-op, it's all good.

Speaker 1 0:51

We're going to talk Me and you, yeah, actually pull the seat back. It's actually quite funny, you comfy.

Speaker 3 0:59

Oh, more than.

Speaker 1 0:59

Okay, cool, so I do this for a podcast.

Speaker 3 1:02

Wait, no, that's so weird. Wait, can we play a song? Then Can I play music? Who plays?

Speaker 1 1:06

a song on a podcast. Can I play?

Speaker 2 1:08

music. Who wants to do that?

Speaker 3 1:09

Wait what do we need to talk about?

The Tale of Susan's Husband

Speaker 1 1:11

Well, I came out tonight to retell the story of an asshole that did exactly what you just did, but you were very nice. This person was not. This woman named Susan ordered the ride exactly. Well, fuck, susan's husband is the title of the podcast.

Speaker 3 1:29

We'll get going now so this is why I was like, oh my goodness, there's a mic right here. This is no stuff. Like I'm good at this, are we mic'd up right now?

Speaker 1 1:40

it's a wireless mic in the ceiling.

Speaker 3 1:43

So no, I need to share the story on why I was better than Susan.

Speaker 1 1:48

No, and I will yeah.

Speaker 3 1:49

It's okay, we're from Louisiana. We get that. We're from New Orleans, okay.

Speaker 1 1:53

I honeymooned in New Orleans.

Speaker 3 1:55

Really, where did y'all go?

Speaker 1 1:56

We stayed at the what is it? The Maison Dupuis.

Speaker 3 1:59

Yes, is that how you pronounce it? Yeah?

Speaker 1 2:01

Yeah, it was fun.

Speaker 3 2:02

What did y'all?

Speaker 1 2:04

do so anyways. I was so pissed off by that engagement I had the idea to come back down the next night and make that the focus of a podcast episode, and so literally people have been teeing off on Susan's husband. It's the funniest thing ever. Well, I'm glad that I did the right thing. No, he's just like fuck.

Speaker 2 2:24

Susan's husband Fuck thing ever. Well, I'm glad that I did the right thing. No, he's just like fuck Susan's husband, Fuck her. He doesn't even need a name. Fuck Susan's husband Exactly.

Speaker 3 2:32

Susan's husband, if you ever hear this. Well, that's why I asked you is it okay if I move this? And you were like yes, and I was like okay, cool, and then who knew it would be fuck Susan's husband after this so Susan's husband after this. So Susan's husband, if you ever hear this podcast episode, never be disrespectful to someone who's doing you a kind gesture.

Speaker 1 2:49

I felt so bad for the period I hope you have fucking e-message.

Speaker 3 2:51

I hope you do something bad to an Uber driver.

Speaker 1 2:54

Because you never know. You never know.

Speaker 2 2:56

Wait, wait, and I was just telling my friends how, like a month ago, I got a gun pulled on me on an Uber.

Speaker 1 3:01

Oh, that's fantastic.

LSU vs Tennessee College Rivalries

Speaker 2 3:06

The. I got a gun pulled on me on an Uber. Oh, that's fantastic. The Uber pulled the gun on me and it was like because one of my friends in the back said something rude. So Susan's husband, and next time you plan on being rude you never know what Uber driver has it on because I almost lost my life that night.

Speaker 1 3:16

Did that really happen? Yeah, that really happened. Where?

Speaker 3 3:18

In Baton Rouge. Well, hey, don't say anything. Okay, go Tiger, yeah go.

Speaker 1 3:23

Tiger, my kid's a Vol, so I can't help you out there. Oh, we were leaving the casino at like 4 in the morning. Oh, a Vol like Tennessee Vol, yeah, yeah yeah, he's a sophomore there, just finished Sophomore year Awesome. But he got accepted to LSU, so maybe that counts for something. Yes, Well, he thought to apply, so that means I saw that yeah they gave him a shit ton of money, but he actually was a football kid. Oh, I'm so sorry, oh, my God, susan's husband oh fuck. Juju, oh my God.

Speaker 3 3:52

Susan's husband. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 3:55

You're fine, Look she's scared. Now You're totally fine, stop, stop, stop. Not even that $5 from Amazon is not going change the world, but he got into LSU and they gave him a lot of money just as a student. So when his football thing flamed out he had to choose between Tennessee and LSU.

Speaker 3 4:16

And he went to the old Rocky Top.

Speaker 1 4:18

It's a great song, man, but-.

Speaker 3 4:20

It is a great song, fuck them. Application Next is better. Hey, oh, okay, when I got accepted Suck that tiger dick bitch. It is a great song, fuck them. Their application Neck is better.

Speaker 1 4:29

Hey, okay.

Speaker 3 4:30

When I got accepted. Suck that tiger dick bitch. When I got accepted in Tennessee, I got the letter and it literally you opened it and it plays O.

Speaker 1 4:37

Rocky Top, it is fun.

Speaker 3 4:38

And it's a never-ending O Rocky Top Neck is better and we'll just leave it at that.

Speaker 2 4:43

Neck is the ultimate. Neck is better and we'll just leave it at that. Neck is ultimate.

Speaker 1 4:45

I mean, I've seen those tailgate videos from the game, oh my goodness, it's insane. The legit song.

Speaker 3 4:52

Wait, let me just play it for you. Also, lsu has like an open container policy. Like you can drink everywhere All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey yeah.

Speaker 2 5:14

That's awesome.

Speaker 1 5:15

Those aren't really the lyrics, are they?

Speaker 3 5:17

No, you're making that up.

Speaker 2 5:22

Okay.

Speaker 1 5:23

So wait, what are you all doing here?

Speaker 2 5:25

That's my question oh, we're interns.

Speaker 1 5:29

Oh, okay. So what are we interning for At the Capitol?

Speaker 2 5:33

Oh, no, really yeah.

Speaker 1 5:35

Oh God Okay.

Speaker 2 5:37

Why we can talk.

Speaker 1 5:38

No, I mean in another life, I was a photojournalist.

Capitol Interns and DC Culture Shock

Speaker 3 5:42

It was very cool. So what did your day-to-day life look like when you did that?

Speaker 1 5:45

I love Bill Clinton, I just do James Carville's from your state right, he's an LSU guy, the political. I almost ran him over, by the way. Oh wow, I almost killed him literally, senate, senate, hart office building. He was jogging in his really awful little like purple little running booty shorts and he had a stupid fucking hat on and I wasn't paying attention. He just ran right out in the fucking street jogging and I almost took him out.

Speaker 3 6:12

I was like, oh my God, that would have been a story to tell, I would have been done For sure. A lot of the times I've noticed while being here is people don't follow the crosswalks like drivers.

Speaker 1 6:23

No one follows anything here.

Speaker 3 6:25

Yeah, everyone's reckless like scary drivers.

Speaker 1 6:27

But you know what else happens. There's like crosswalk entitlement Like I get it, right, it's the crosswalk. But there's like the laws of traffic and the laws of physics like dude, I get it, don't be an ass, because you're gonna get fucking run over. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 6:42

I get that, yeah, anyways, I get. I get like scared, like I I don't know, being from louisiana, it's like southern manners. We're like, oh, you can go, you can go. And then it's like wait, they're like awkward with you because, people don't expect that you're like you smile at someone're like, they act as if you just killed their family.

Speaker 1 6:59

Okay, so like what's your day to day like, so you're interning up on the hill.

Speaker 3 7:04

And then we hang out with each other, after All right?

Speaker 1 7:06

Is it like a big like dorm where all the interns come and just you know, do your thing and everyone lives together?

Speaker 3 7:12

No, Sir, stop with that bullshit. I know it's a Southern thing.

Speaker 2 7:15

We have to say it. It's rude if we don't I have a complex.

Speaker 1 7:20

I just turned 57. I'm very sensitive to that. I found out.

Speaker 3 7:23

That's rude, sir, it's rude.

Speaker 2 7:26

It's rude if we don't say it.

Speaker 3 7:28

Wait, I said yes, sir, to someone the other day and they were like would you just call me? They think it's like you calling them old friends. Correct, correct we say yes, ma'am, and yes, sir, to people who are like 25 year olds.

Speaker 1 7:40

Yeah, I get it, I totally get it.

Speaker 3 7:43

Oh, the water off the store.

Speaker 1 7:45

Have you ladies been in there? I have not. Okay, here's the deal Get dressed up, go to the lobby. It's called Peacock Alley.

Speaker 3 7:53

That's the bar.

Speaker 1 7:59

As the name would imply, it's where you go to be seen. It's the coolest lobby. There's a great little bar in there, so you're going to see pigs in there, oh absolutely Wait.

Speaker 3 8:04

We should go, you should go, it's very cool. Make a reservation, what's? Your favorite thing here Like what's your favorite thing you've done In DC? Mm-hmm, Well, dude, favorite thing.

Speaker 1 8:13

Yeah, I don't know Jesus Christ. What kind of question is that? Were you born here? Uh, yeah, Actually, I was born in DC. Yeah, oh, that's actually really cool.

Speaker 3 8:20

That's really cool.

Speaker 1 8:22

Uh, my favorite thing, I don't know.

Speaker 3 8:25

Like I would say like being from New Orleans, I'd like. My favorite thing is Monty Girl.

Speaker 2 8:28

Yeah, do y'all have something that's like a basic like?

Speaker 1 8:30

obviously. Oh, my god.

Speaker 3 8:34

St Patrick's Day might be here.

Speaker 2 8:36

It used to be How's 4th of July, because we're going to be here for that.

Speaker 1 8:40

That's epic.

Speaker 2 8:41

For sure.

Speaker 3 8:41

I'm so excited.

Speaker 1 8:42

Yeah, I mean that really is. I don't come down because it's a little too chaotic, but I was here for the bicentennial when I was like 10.

Speaker 3 8:50

Oh my goodness, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1 8:52

But yeah, it is cool. I mean, I'm assuming you ladies live in downtown proper somewhere. So yeah, man, go do that, bring a blanket and just go. Well, what do y'all do?

Speaker 2 9:02

What do we do?

Speaker 1 9:03

You just get fucking drunk and go hang out, and so you can bring like drinks around on July 4th, I mean. I'd be careful with it, but you know I wouldn't walk around with a handle. But you could certainly make some drinks and shit.

Insider Tips for DC Nightlife

Speaker 2 9:16

Wait. So you just like where do we go, like on the mall, and just like sit and like chill. Yeah, okay, cool.

Speaker 1 9:21

Yeah, by the monument.

Speaker 2 9:26

I'm not really too familiar with the drinking rules here, because in New Orleans you can drink everywhere and anywhere.

Speaker 3 9:30

Yeah, we're a little unfamiliar with that game. Wait, how is it? What do you smoke? But we'll play it. One of our friends went to the Smithsonian Solstice thing and that looks very strange.

Speaker 2 9:49

What is that?

Speaker 3 9:50

It's like basically, I think the summer solstice is tonight and the Smithsonian's open all night. Oh, that's cool Until like 3 am and it's like neon lights. Okay, let's go after we leave here Like fuck, that I don't know, that feels like wrong.

Speaker 1 10:07

You know what's cool is the library.

Speaker 2 10:10

There's free alcohol in there? Aw damn it.

Speaker 1 10:19

Why did we go there? There, fuck the players club. It's probably shitty alcohol. The Library of Congress has a happy hour every Thursday night in the main room of the library Wait what? Which is very cool. Are you kidding me? It's free. It's free. You have to go online to get a ticket and they have a cash bar and some food.

Speaker 2 10:30

Right.

Speaker 1 10:31

And you can kind of wander around and we're going and we're're going. It's a very cool room, obviously, yeah, dang, you're telling us all the good things to do.

Speaker 3 10:40

Right? How many right that I thought?

Speaker 2 10:42

of write that down.

Speaker 1 10:43

Oh, okay, okay have you been to union market? Have you been to union market, that area? Yes, have you been to minetta tavern? Lucy mercer bar okay, lucy Mercer Bar is upstairs. It's like this. It's decorated like French provincial drapes, artwork, crushed velvet couches and it's just a chill place to hang and have a drink and just kind of kick it.

Speaker 3 11:11

That's cool. Yeah, I like the bars. When I went to Alexandria Excuse me, alexandria it was like very cool. I can't remember what bar I went to, but it was like very like traditional, like old-timey dive bar, but it was cool.

Speaker 1 11:26

Yeah, Are you taking pictures of my pictures? What are you doing? Oh my God.

Speaker 3 11:38

She takes so many selfies. She's the most insane snapchatter you'll ever meet in your entire life. I can appreciate that I'm not the most insane snapchatter at all. I take my mask snap and I'm done, but you're taking pictures right now.

Speaker 1 11:50

I can appreciate that.

Speaker 3 11:51

To make sure I look good. That is insane with me forever. That is insane with me forever. I know who that is, I can tell. Well, how do we have all this? Oh?

Speaker 1 12:05

wait, I didn't even ask you. One of you ladies do the QR code so you can see the podcast. See it or you can listen to it. I need that back, but certainly you can scan it. Let me know what you think.

Speaker 3 12:19

I'm going to listen to the Fuck Susan's Husband episode.

Speaker 1 12:22

That'll be out tomorrow, thank you.

Speaker 3 12:26

What made you come up to start doing this?

Speaker 1 12:30

From a client project. Wait, I forgot no. One's actually named Camille on this card. Wait, it's me. There's no way that's her name. Wait, what the fuck is wrong with Camille? Nothing. Wait, it's me, there's no way, that's her name.

Speaker 3 12:40

Wait, what the fuck is wrong with Camille? Nothing. Wait, that sounded like something that was not with that. Wait, is that like an odd name? No, not at all. I'm just being a jerk. I swear we're in the right car. Imagine, like this whole time. We're in the like, because that would be the first night when we went out and we fucking got in the wrong Uber.

Speaker 1 13:01

Oh, did you really? Yeah, because there was someone else named Camille and it was the same car. Oh wow, what are the odds?

Speaker 3 13:06

Right, that's what I kept fucking saying. I said that she liked me what are the odds?

Speaker 2 13:12

And it was, yeah, exact same car, same name.

Speaker 3 13:28

Wake up. I'm gonna have to get an IPA when we get there, so I'm not like hungover, I'm just gonna get an IPA to hold.

Speaker 2 13:33

I never heard that in my life. I'm gonna get an IPA to hold, so I'm not hungover tomorrow.

Speaker 3 13:36

Because, like I can't get a vodka drink cause I'll be oh my god, please don't tell me that's a lie.

Speaker 2 13:41

So I'll go home. I'm down to go home too.

Speaker 1 13:46

I can kind of double park if you ladies want to add a stop or you can bounce, just let me know what you want to do.

Speaker 3 13:52

We can just get out.

Speaker 2 13:53

That's okay, because we're all at different homes. Thank you, no worries. Oh, that is quite a line.

Episode Closing and Call to Action

Speaker 1 14:00

That's not for the, that's not for the cheesesteak either, ladies, we'll just walk out and be careful getting out. It's good talking to you, I love being on your podcast excellent. See you, ladies. Thank you for listening to this episode of rideshare road talking. If you've enjoyed what you've heard, we'd love for you to review the podcast on your favorite listening platform, like Apple or Spotify. Your support helps us so much, and don't forget to reach out on Instagram with your feedback or topic suggestions. Until next time, let's drive. Thank you.