I Think I Am A Fairy

In this episode of Fairy Tea, I invite you to join me on my personal journey of self-discovery and embracing my true identity. From the mystical allure of the Amazonian jungle to the transformative power of Ayahuasca, I share my experiences of realizing my identity as a fairy. This episode is an invitation to explore the magic within yourself, encouraging you to gently embrace your unique truths and the beauty of living authentically. Let's delve into the sacred spaces of self-awareness and the shimmering path of personal transformation together.

Highlights:

• Personal Journey: I share my journey of self-discovery, starting with my solo travel experience in Peru.
• Connection to Ayahuasca: I discuss how the city of Iquitos and its connection to Ayahuasca played a significant role in my transformation.
• Realization of Identity: During a ceremony, I experience a profound realization of my identity as a fairy.
• Collective Remembering: I talk about the idea of a collective remembering, where others also embrace their unique identities.
• Conversations and Acceptance: I share conversations with others who resonate with my experience, highlighting acceptance and understanding.
• Living Authentically: I emphasize the importance of living from my true self and the freedom it brings.
• Invitation to Listeners: I encourage you to embrace your own unique truths and the magic within.
• Upcoming Episode Teaser: I hint about the next episode focusing on myths and creating personal mythology.

If this episode stirred something in you, I'd love to hear about it. Send me a whisper on Instagram at @fairytea.podcast, or just write the words "fairy wings" in my DMs so I'll know you were here.

Contact Me:

• Instagram: @fairytea.podcast or @akayourfairygodmother
• Email: akayourfairygodmother@gmail.com
  
  

This episode was produced by six-two.studio

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Fairy Tea is a deeply personal podcast where I share the raw, honest messiness of life—exploring how to break free from societal expectations and follow the heart’s calling. Blending storytelling, spirituality, folklore, and self-discovery, Fairy Tea is both magical and real, whimsical yet grounded. It’s a space to embrace uncertainty, face challenges without fear, and stay curious about the possibilities ahead. Through my own experiences, I invite listeners to see that a new way of living is possible—one that is intuitive, soulful, and uniquely their own.

Instagram: @fairytea.podcast or @akayourfairygodmother

Email: akayourfairygodmother@gmail.com

Transcript

Sophie Bruderer (00:00) Welcome to Fairy Tea, where we sip on the thorough wisdom of the fairy realm and uncover its ancient secrets for healing, pleasure and rest. I'm your host Sophie, here to sprinkle a little enchantment into your everyday life. Think of this as one great unfolding experiment. An invitation to dance with magic, trust the unseen and let curiosity lead the way.

Sophie Bruderer (00:35) Strike the hush, breathe the blur, let veil and vision start to stir. Not born but beckoned, not made but shown, the fairy finds her way back home. If something in you softened or stirred or shimmered, maybe, maybe this story is meant for you. So welcome back to Fairy Tea. As you know I'm so f-

your fairy godmother and today, well, this one's a tender one and maybe a little strange. Yet, one of the truest things I've ever shared. I think I am a fairy. And let me tell you, I didn't pick it. No one called me that. Wait, technically that's not true. I've been called a fairy before. Oddly enough.

But that's besides the point. I suppose it was always in me, quietly shimmering beneath everything else, and one day it just wanted to step forward. Like it had been waiting for me to stop pretending, but allow me to take you through it all. So if you've listened to episode 1, you might remember that this whole chapter started when I decided to travel alone for the first time.

This is kind of how I ended up here in Columbia. But even before all that, years ago, Peru was a country that randomly caught my attention. Peru lived literally rent free in my head for a long time and long before I ever stepped on Latin American grounds. And I wasn't drawn to the famous South with Machu Picchu and Cusco and all these things.

It was the lesser touristic North that for some reason pulled me. It was the coast that I wanted to explore and the Andes. And one particular route I absolutely became obsessed with. I swear I spent nights reading about it. I mapped out an entire path in my head. It was a wild winding journey that would end with four days in a cargo boat floating down the Amazon to a city.

Sophie Bruderer (03:01) called Iquitos. So here's a fun fact. Iquitos is the world's largest city you can't reach by road. You either fly in or you float on a boat because it's in the very middle of the Amazonian jungle.

And there was something about that mystery, that isolation, that sense of being entirely surrounded by jungle. Don't ask me why, but it shimmered in my imagination for years. So at the time I couldn't afford the trip, so I let it go. But it turns out it never really let go of me. So fast forward to a year ago when I had the chance to travel, Peru naturally was one of the first places I thought of visiting.

So coincidentally, around that same time, I also started hearing about Ayahuasca for the first time. And not just once, but kind of everywhere. There was a documentary here, then a conversation there. It was a name I didn't know much about, just that you terribly throw out. But regardless, it lit something up inside of me every time it surfaced. And then...

Doing more research on my travel route, I found out that Iquitos, the city I'd been so strangely drawn to for so many years, was one of the oldest centers for ayahuasca in the world. That's when it clicked. I guess that's a little intel of how my brain works. I thought maybe it wasn't about the city. Maybe the medicine had been whispering to me all along. Maybe

It was never really forgotten. Just, you know, hanging out in the in-between, waiting for me to catch up. Or maybe not, who knows. But it stayed with me. And now, in hindsight, it makes a strange kind of sense. So I did my first trip there last year in June. No pun intended. I joined the retreat in the jungle.

Sophie Bruderer (05:16) And all I want you to know at this point is it was absolutely life-changing and it deserves its own proper episode. So at the start of this year, the call, we call it the call in this scene, just kidding. There is no scene, but I really wanted to go back. It was soft and clear, but unmistakable. And my God, I...

Honestly don't know where I would be right now if I hadn't followed it. I don't think I would be sitting here right now. But back to the story. I returned to the jungle once more. To ceremony. To that warm humming stillness where everything you thought you knew kind of just dissolves into the trees. And in one of those ceremonies.

I remember it as if it was yesterday. It was in Thursday, the first week. I went two weeks. It was in Thursday, the first week. Something crazy happened. At first, nothing happened. And then suddenly I felt this like heavy pressure, especially on my chest, really my entire body. And it wasn't painful or anything, but it felt ancient. Like something deep was rising.

And then I suddenly realized that I was in a cocoon. And I don't mean metaphorically, I could actually feel it. And then I hatched. I was born. I was born as a fairy. And don't get me wrong, like, I know how all of this sounds, okay? Like I'm a quite self-aware person. At least I like to think so, but.

Just bear with me for a second, would you? I'm not talking about the Disney fairy with wings and sparkle type of situation. It was a remembering. Like something inside me just clicked into place. And everything started shimmering. The plants were breathing. It's hard to describe, but I felt like I was in an Avatar movie.

Sophie Bruderer (07:37) Like the world was alive. And then still in the vision, I saw all my girlfriends and all of them were glowing and each one of them, they were also fairies. And that's kind of when I knew that this wasn't just about me, that this was a collective remembering. And from that night until today, everything kind of organically unraveled. And it let me

to sitting here today. So I didn't start telling everyone right away. There was no dramatic reveal or declaration. It was more like a shimmer that stayed with me. A secret I wasn't keeping, but I wasn't rushing to explain it either. I started mentioning it gently, in safe spaces with people who I felt soft to talk to. I think I said something along the lines of

I think I might be a fairy, usually followed by a little laugh. Because I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know how people would react. And the wild thing is, the people I talked to, they didn't think I was crazy. Most of the time they didn't even blink. They nodded or smiled or even said, you know what?

That actually makes a strange kind of sense. I'm not exactly sure what they were trying to imply, but somehow that broke something open. So one of the most surprising and beautiful conversations I had was with my landlord here in Cali in Columbia, who's actually also became a good friend of mine. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing this. He's this

quirky Polish guy who eventually got sick of Europe and decided to move to Colombia about 10 years ago. And here he's slowly building this house that I live in now, which is honestly the first place in my life that's ever truly felt like a home. So one day we were chatting just casually in the middle of the afternoon and I mentioned kind of as a side note that I think that I am a fairy. And he looked at me

Sophie Bruderer (10:01) and said, you know what, I've always felt like a warrior. And this hit me so hard because I knew exactly what he meant. It wasn't an identity thing. It wasn't for show. was kind of for the lack of better words, it was soul language. So he's this tall, strong man with quiet eyes and the kind of presence that just

instantly makes you feel safe. Like I know if anything went wrong, he'd just appear calm and steady and take care of it. And when he said that, that he's a warrior, it suddenly made perfect sense why I feel so safe in his house. It's like his energy has been protecting the space all along. So I kept thinking about that conversation, about how effortlessly he said it. Like it wasn't something he questioned.

It was something he'd always known. And it made something click in me. Maybe most people, at least the ones I find myself talking to, are carrying some kind of secret knowing. This quiet name they've never said out loud. A shape they've always felt but never had words for. Something sacred. Something true. And we've been taught to tuck it away because it doesn't fit the narrative.

And I came to realize that when someone dares to say theirs, even just a little, it opens a door. I've had people tell me they've always felt like witches or some sort of feline, storm clouds or ocean spirits. And they didn't mean it like in a metaphorical way. Like really, like it lives in their bones and it doesn't feel like play acting either.

It feels like something tender, like a truth that finally found a way out. And I remember that I used to think I had to be more digestible, less, you know, out there, less dreamy, less deep and less odd. So for a long time, I tried to be as normal as it gets, whatever that even means, you know?

Sophie Bruderer (12:28) I wanted to say the right things, I didn't want to confuse people, I just wanted to blend in just enough. But the moment I stopped doing that, the moment I let the real me breathe and speak and shimmer, people actually started feeling closer to me. Isn't that wild? Because when I say

I have this special gift, but I don't fully know what it means yet. So many people say, oh my God, me too. Because we all have a connection to this space, we don't really know what it is, right? And then suddenly we're not talking about daily plans or what we do for work, but we're talking about something deeper, softer, stranger, but also

truer. And honestly, those conversations make my day. So the more I live into this truth, the more I started to remember things that had no source. Just this quiet knowing in my bones. You know the fairies I channel? They're old. They carry so much memory. They live at the edges of things.

And they listen more than they speak. And I recognize myself in that. I kind of always lived between things. Between languages, between countries, between people, between ways of being that never fully made sense together. And for a long time I thought I was missing something. That like there was a place I was supposed to find, like a place to finally belong.

I swear to God for a long time, I thought I was the only human being that kind of where the memo of how to be a human being happened to get lost in a mail or something. But now I see it differently. I understood that I belong in the in-between. That that's where I actually feel most alive, most attuned.

Sophie Bruderer (14:51) I sense things others don't always notice. I hear beneath the words. I hold contrasts in my hands and I call them beauty. This is fairy wisdom and I carry it without needing to explain it. Somehow, miraculously, it's both a memory and also a way forward. A missing link

that magically connected so many dots. And if you remembered from episode one, I said I'm still figuring out what it means being a fairy. And I meant it. It's only been a few months since this strong remembering happened, right? So I've been drawn to stories, to folklore, myths and rituals, especially the ones whispered from the edges of culture.

and I've always liked stories and I've been especially fond of the Greek mythology since I was a child. But now it's like I've been given new eyes. I read old things with a different heart. Not to be an expert, but to remember, to reconnect. So that's essentially what the word fairy became for me. To me, it's not a costume.

It doesn't feel like a role I'm hiding behind, but a place to return to. It's this quiet center I can live from, a home inside myself that doesn't need to be proven or justified, just remembered. And it gave shape to the parts of me I used to hide. You know, the tenderness, the wonder, the sensitivity I thought made me fragile.

It gave me this language to something I'd always felt but never known how to explain. And even more than that, it gave me permission to stop explaining at all. To just be. And the moment I stopped trying to be understood, funnily enough, I became more approachable, more honest, more me. Because I think when you started living from the inside out,

Sophie Bruderer (17:13) When you build your life around the truth you used to tuck away, you kind of stop asking who will accept you. And instead you start noticing who feels relief to find you. And that changes everything. Because there's something about living your truth gently, unapologetically that invites other people to remember theirs too. And you don't have to be loud about it. You don't have to shout.

You just have to let it exist in the open. Stay curious. And since then, I've been slowly building a life that actually fits. A fairy life, yes. But not one made of glitter and escape. I'm talking about a life that's made of presence, of rhythm, of listening closely and trusting beauty as a kind of compass. And honestly,

It's also been a way of saying no. No to the way I was taught life should be. That everything has to be earned through exhaustion. That hard work means overriding your body. That success requires pressure, competition, and that one has to live in scarcity. For a long time, I tried to live inside that system. And deep down,

I always knew it wasn't mine. But I didn't know how to step outside it without losing my place in the world. So many times I felt like I was betraying my body, but I didn't have another map. So becoming a fairy, or maybe just remembering that I am one, it gave me new starting point. It helped me pause and say, wait, I get to choose what rules apply to me.

It helped me use my Spielraum, that beautiful wiggly, untranslatable space between structure and freedom, to start asking what kind of life I could build that works on the inside, but also on the outside. You know, a life that doesn't run on constant anxiety, but a life that breathes. And this podcast, it's part of it. It's not a project I'm pushing.

Sophie Bruderer (19:42) It's just a shimmer that I'm following. A kind of living spell. A soft portal for anyone who's remembering something they didn't know they forgot. Because here's the thing. Maybe that old story? The one that says life is serious? That it isn't a fairy tale? That wonder is for children and magic isn't real? You know, maybe that story is just...

one story. And maybe it's wrong, or at least incomplete. Because if we stop, just for a moment, and look, like really look, at the things that are around us, I'm talking about the veins in a leaf, the curve of a petal, the glow on someone's eyes when they talk about what they love.

the timing of a coincidence that feels just too perfect to explain. I ask you, how could we not believe in magic? Maybe magic isn't something we summon, maybe it's something we notice, something that reveals itself the moment we're willing to see differently. So if you've ever felt like you didn't quite fit,

Like you were made of a different kind of softness. And if you ever wondered whether your strangeness is actually something sacred.

This space here is for you. And let me tell you, you don't need to have it figured out. You don't even need to name it. But I hope you know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you shimmer. So thank you for being here, for listening, for remembering with me. And don't forget, some spells are simply stories.

Sophie Bruderer (21:48) We dare to believe again. And on the next episode, we'll talk exactly about that. About myths and life. About how we can turn our own life into a myth and through that create our own mythology. So until next time, be soft, stay curious and own your unique shimmer.

Sophie Bruderer (22:18) If this episode stirred something in you, I'd love to hear about it. Send me a little whisper on Instagram at fairyt.podcast or just write the words fairy wings in my DMs. That's how I'll know you were here.

This was a 6-2 studio production. Find us at six-two.studio for all your creative sound needs.