Gold in the Garden of Enough

In this episode of Fairy Tea, I engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with my inspirational guest Sam about their personal journeys through health challenges, self-discovery, and the quest for authentic living. Together we explore the impact of societal expectations, the importance of vulnerability, and the role of money in shaping our lives. Our discussion emphasizes the power of co-creation in work and the significance of building genuine connections. We continue to reflect on the future we wish to create, one that prioritizes kindness, collaboration, and personal fulfillment.

Highlights:

• Meeting Sam: The Power of Instagram Connections
• Overcoming Trauma and Illness
• Navigating Healthcare Around the World
• Rebuilding After Trauma
• The Future of Work is Co-Creation and Freedom
• Finding Your Tribe Through Authenticity
• The Journey of Self-Discovery and Career Transition
• Embracing Life's Uncertainties and Financial Freedom
• The Courage to Forge Your Own Path
• Redefining Success and Connection in Society
• Envisioning a More Connected and Compassionate World

Guest Bio:

Sam flies planes, chases horizons and can’t sit still. Movement is who he is. Cockpit, motorcycle through Asia, some random places he's never been, it doesn’t matter. He needs to be going somewhere. Always curious, always exploring. He was a corporate IT guy once. Got a master’s in geopolitics and law. Flew private jets. None of it lasted because he doesn’t stay. Nothing about him is fixed, not his work, not where he lives, not who he is. he moves, he changes. That’s his deal.

Find Sam on Instagram

This episode was produced by six-two.studio

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Fairy Tea is a deeply personal podcast where I share the raw, honest messiness of life—exploring how to break free from societal expectations and follow the heart’s calling. Blending storytelling, spirituality, folklore, and self-discovery, Fairy Tea is both magical and real, whimsical yet grounded. It’s a space to embrace uncertainty, face challenges without fear, and stay curious about the possibilities ahead. Through my own experiences, I invite listeners to see that a new way of living is possible—one that is intuitive, soulful, and uniquely their own.

Instagram: @fairytea.podcast or @akayourfairygodmother 

Email: akayourfairygodmother@gmail.com

Transcript

Sophie (00:00)
Welcome to Fairy Tea, where we sip on the thorough wisdom of the fairy realm and uncover its ancient secrets for healing, pleasure and rest. I'm your host Sophie, here to sprinkle a little enchantment into your everyday life. Think of this as one great unfolding experiment. An invitation to dance with magic, trust the unseen and let curiosity lead the way.

Hello, little fairies. Welcome back to Fairy Tea. I'm so your fairy godmother. I'm so happy that you're here. I'm so happy to be here. I'm actually not here alone. I have for the second time, I have a guest, which is super exciting. For the first time, I'm recording this via Zoom. So this is like a whole like experiment new thing kind of situation.

which is always fun. My guest is Sam. Hi, Sam.

Sam (01:10)
Hi Sophie, nice to meet you, finally.

Sophie (01:13)
Sam and I, you and I, we met on Instagram. We're Instagram friends. We actually have never met before.

Sam (01:20)
Yeah. I have many Instagram friends. Funny story is yesterday for the first time in Paris, I got recognized in the streets. Like a girl came to me and was like, I do know you. And I'm like, I don't think I know you. And she was like, yes, yes, your son. And I'm like, yes, like from Instagram. And I'm like, okay.

Sophie (01:40)
You're from Instagram. You're not Sam from specific place anymore. You're Sam from Instagram.

Sam (01:46)
And that was so funny. It was the first time for me and I was like, my God, it's happening.

Sophie (01:51)
That is, mean, you're growing. So for those who don't know Sam, probably most of you, because, you know, we have different spheres where we operate. So Sam and I met on Instagram. Sam is, would you call yourself an influencer? Or what would you call yourself? Content creator?

Sam (02:11)
That's yeah, content creator, would say, because I'm not, I don't think I'm the one to influence people, but if someday like I'm able to, to support and to sponsor some stuff that I do agree with and like that I feel good to recommend because I use them, like why not? And if it's that to be influencer, maybe I will be, but as of today, I'm not like I take Instagram as a personal journal and I try some creative stuff and.

I journal my travelings and yeah, that's approximately what it is about right now.

Sophie (02:45)
Well, I'm so happy to see you here to see you smile. And do you have anything else you want to add to who you are and what you

Sam (02:52)
world has

I got stupidly crazy life already. Like I wouldn't know where to start, but I got a master thesis in international law and geopolitics. I studied aviation then. I'm professional pilot, commercial pilot. And actually my most successful job was the thing where I had no diploma, which is being a business units manager in an IT consulting firm. So managing basically.

IT engineers and selling them to clients, selling people like basically just new slaves, but with higher salaries.

Sophie (03:35)
Wow. I didn't know that. I didn't know that you were taking ⁓ flying lessons. You told me that.

Sam (03:43)
Well, I was a pilot as well for some times, but it was in the aftermath of COVID and the situation was just so bad regarding money and the circumstances of everything that it felt at that time that I had to take the safer option because I had some debt. And yeah, I went into corporate, a corporate rat, like most of the people nowadays. And don't be ashamed of it. You're still good people. We know that. ⁓

Sophie (04:11)
Of

course, of course. ⁓ And this is kind of like how we're going to, we're opening the subject, why we're here, why this whole podcast idea came about was because we wanted to talk about work. But essentially I posted a reel on Instagram saying that I never want to. So you and I are both unemployed. Also, did you know that I have a law degree? Yeah, I have a law degree.

Sam (04:37)
Crazy.

Sophie (04:38)
Yeah, I have a law degree. We're both unemployed. I posted a reel on Instagram saying that I never want to go back to working for anyone ever again. And I do think that in a couple years from now, we're going to look at employment the way we're looking at slavery now, just because it exploits people. And I don't think that it is something that we can carry it to the future, essentially.

Sam (05:07)
And I think also the condition between employment 50 years ago and today have changed drastically in a way that we have less and less power against the employer. it was already like this, know, it was already like this even 50 years ago. You know that you submit yourself, your time against money, you know, and this is the higher power. But the scale of...

power between the two, between the employer and the employer, just like grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow so much right now that it felt like it's definitely not worth it anymore, you know, no matter, and no matter how much you're getting paid sometimes, because it's not just about the salary also.

Sophie (05:49)
Yeah, so essentially I shared that video, you reacted to that video, and because I thought you were equal, like I felt like you were so enthusiastic about the same topic. It was like a spur of the moment idea that I had. And I just replied to you, was like, do a podcast episode? And you were like, yes. And you know, those moments are my favorite kind of moments when you really don't think much about what you're doing.

And then it's just like the energy of two people just align. Both are very excited.

Sam (06:24)
It flows naturally because you meet at the right time with the right energy and yeah, that's the greatest thing. It's like, you know, when you make new friends, when you're like still a teenager, so unsure about yourself and suddenly the other guy drop references that you also is the only one to know and you're like, found my person, you know, and you're like,

Sophie (06:45)
Exactly.

And those moments, you cannot plan them. You cannot orchestrate them. You just have to trust that they're going to happen. And more often than not, obviously they don't. You like pitch something and people are like, or like the energy doesn't like, you're like, we could do like, it makes sense in my head, but doesn't really feel aligned with my heart. And so with you, it was just like, you were like, yes, I was like, yes. And then it was just clear, you know? And that to me is like, that's kind of like,

how I envision the future of working is like co-creation. What we're doing here is not, you are not working for me, I'm not working for you. We're co-creating something. Our energies come together and they're building something. We didn't even know what this was going to be. You know, we just came together. were like, we're excited and we're going to create something. Let's see what's happening. And to me, this is just like, yeah.

Sam (07:43)
Organically, right?

Sophie (07:45)
And it's just so beautiful when two people and two energies come together and it's a true win-win. It it almost has to be good. The outcome has to be good. It has to be better than what it was before. And I think that's the, that's such a crazy potential that we have as human beings that is so untapped.

Sam (08:08)
Because we all live through our own experiences and it's so difficult to get past that first boundary, that first layer, you know, that once someone is ready to let down his guard and like be able to share and to give values about what he lived, you know, you're living multiple lives if you're listening carefully, you know.

Sophie (08:29)
That is a very, yeah, that is a beautiful frame because I think you're so right. Until you've actually tried it and you've done it, you don't know what it means. You don't know how to get to that point. And you kind of like have to risk, or it feels like risking a lot to like open up, you know?

Sam (08:52)
Yeah, it's true. It's true. It's a risk. like, it's also you. The ability to be willingly vulnerable is just not something you learn, you know? It's something you have to do because at some point it will save yourself. I think I lived through that, you know? When I started to post, like, I was the random guy with like 100 followers on Instagram, never posting his face for like the last 15 years, only being low-key.

And if I was interacting, was hating almost, you know, the typical guy, you know? And suddenly I started to talk about my feelings and everything and like take the camera and talk to the screen. And it was because it was a necessity. Otherwise I wouldn't have done it, which makes me feel like a lot of people that became online celebrities and like are building personal brands and stuff like that. Usually they might be like in a position where

It's their last resort in a way sometimes and they have to, you know, either because they lack the confidence, either because they have some traumas that will not resolve other way, either because they want to help people to not get in their position they used to be, you know, but it's like, it feels like it's be probably for most people a necessity and not like a business plan because it's, it's not great, you know, like it's not.

It's way easier to just apply to a job and get the fucking paycheck at the end of the month. For me, my last paycheck.

Sophie (10:29)
What's that? Sorry.

No, when did you start posting on Instagram about your life?

Sam (10:36)
It was like a year ago. ⁓ Yeah, a year, a year and one month.

Sophie (10:39)
⁓ only? Okay, wow.

That's impressive. I wanted to ask you how that transition was because opening up like that, especially towards the internet is...

Sam (10:53)
Yeah. And it's not like very French of me.

Sophie (10:58)
No, not at all.

Sam (11:00)
Like French people tend to be secret and if we are not secret we are judgmental as fuck, you know. So it's even we are judgmental toward ourselves first and toward each other like a lot even between friends, you know. That's why at some point I had to remove also lot of my so-called friends as well. Most of the friends I think I had because once you start to speak for yourself

and you're confronting the reality, they think of you and what you actually are, they don't connect to you anymore. They're like, no, you're not that person because they're not the vision they have of you. ⁓ And it's such a, like, I feel like it's a blessing as well. Like I'm happy to not connect anymore with people that don't see me as I am, you know? So internet has a lot of blessing, hidden blessing, I would say, because if you just think about money, yeah, it's not.

Sophie (11:38)
Yeah. ⁓

Sam (11:58)
It's not it, know, yet. Maybe in the future, you know, but if you think about it when you start posting, you're just set up for failure.

Sophie (12:07)
Yeah, for sure. And I think you can also tell, like with your content, I can tell that it's coming from such a genuine place. You know, that's what drew me in. That's what...

Sam (12:20)
Yeah, I really loved to do the little like posts when I was writing a lot. I needed to, you know, and I've been thinking about it for the last four months that I didn't do one, you know, the text on my pictures with a lot of quotes, with a lot of emotional background to it. I think I will get back to it for sure, but I don't want to push it because I have to push it. You know, it needs to flow naturally like I did when I was doing it.

And I'm sure it will come back again because I have a lot of my mind on my mind and I need to express it. I feel like you need to, I feel like it's like most artists, know, they need to put something out of their body, out of their mind, you know, they need to release something to the world. And the world does whatever they want with it, you know.

Sophie (13:05)
I genuinely believe that not, cause once you realize that we all have, sure, we live with other people in the same country. We live with our families, but each and every person has their unique experience, has their unique perspective. And it's actually selfish not to share that with the world because sharing your perspective is what allows you to connect to other people. It's not like.

Sam (13:27)
Yes. Yes.

Sophie (13:34)
People pleasing is like you hiding who you actually are and it actually keeps you from connecting. Even though we do it because we want to connect. But if you actually like share from the center who you truly are from your heart, which of course is exposing, of course is vulnerable, of course is uncomfortable because ooh, what are people gonna say? And obviously a lot of people have like,

Sam (13:43)
true.

Sophie (14:04)
judgments about you or, you know, question your motives or whatever. But generally it's the only thing. And I'm not saying it necessarily has to be online or on Instagram. That's each and every... Many different ways.

Sam (14:18)
It be many different ways.

It just happened for me to be Instagram. I could have stopped painting, I think, you know, it's like, it's the same process.

Sophie (14:26)
Just

share your perspective, share who you are, and that draws in the right people.

Sam (14:34)
And it's actually like, attracts, you know, the more you release a view, the more you find your tribe, the more you find your people, the more it attracts the right person. Like I had like the most amazing connections of my life happened the last year, you know, on the friendship level because, because it was fully genuine, you know, it was people coming from the other side of the world or not even coming close and just connecting because some stuff within me resonated.

Sophie (14:51)
Same.

Sam (15:03)
toward them, you know, and then it clicks and then you meet and it's like, ⁓ we're best friends.

Sophie (15:09)
Yeah, and it's like a whole other dimension that opens up and you're like, wow, I didn't even know that I could feel so alive.

Sam (15:17)
Yeah, because each time I felt like I found something that was within me, within them, and they found the opposite as well, and something bigger grew, not shrinking, you know what I mean? And I was like, that's insane. That's so good. That's what real friendship is. And most people, think, because we talk a lot about love, what difficult it is to find a good person, especially in the digital era. And but friends as well. don't think people, many people have good friends or

understand what is friendship. I think friendship is much more precious than love. Love is a feeling that can get triggered by many shitty stuff within you.

Sophie (15:59)
I

think that's it. We're opening up a whole other can. I think we could do an entire episode just about that topic.

Sam (16:04)
It's not about that. Yeah,

clearly we should. But anyway, let's go back to working and not working in the toxic environment.

Sophie (16:09)
We should.

Exactly. So I want to share with you how my story kind of came about. So like I said, I have a law degree. used to work, I never took the bar. I used to work as a PhD research at the university. Never wrote a single word of my thesis ever, even though I worked for like, I think a year. And what happened, I had a great job.

Sam (16:35)
Okay.

Sophie (16:45)
I cannot blame, put any blame on my job. had a great boss that was really like, we were good friends. was, the conditions were as good as they can be, which is why I know it was not for me, you know? Cause otherwise I could have potentially blamed it on the conditions, but the conditions couldn't have been better in that set frame. And I remember I was already feeling very, very, very depleted.

After five years of hustling through my law degree, I was always working next to university. And then I started that job and I was feeling very depleted. I was feeling very empty. was feeling very unsatisfied. And there was this one day, it was a Friday afternoon. remember it super distinctly. I was sitting in a meeting with a couple of students and another lawyer. And we were just discussing like...

a seminar. And while that meeting was going on, I started feeling dizzy. I felt like I was fainting. And my vision was blurry. My body felt all eerie. And I remember that all I could think of was no one in here can see that I'm falling apart.

Even though those were students and a friend of mine, that lawyer was a friend of mine, I could have so easily said, hey, I'm not feeling well, I have to leave. But the thing was, didn't even, didn't even, like the people didn't even matter. I couldn't at the time admit to myself that I was falling apart. And to me it was like, if I show them, I have to accept the fact that I'm falling apart.

Sam (18:36)
When you talk about it, it becomes the reality as well, you know, like exactly don't talk about it. It doesn't exist

Sophie (18:42)
Exactly. So I was just like, somehow trying to get through that meeting. managed. The meeting was over. I ran back to my office. I locked my office and I kind of like collapsed to the floor. Not because I was actually falling or fainting, but because I was just so overwhelmed and didn't know what to do with the situation. So I was laying on the floor in my office and that's why I knew this cannot continue.

This is not working for me anymore. But I also had...

Sam (19:15)
You didn't, but you didn't like experience the full scale of the new management, the new like experiment. They're doing the big corporations or they break you or you break the employee below you and stuff like that. were like in a kind of like in already know how to say that. Some people would say you were already in a bubble.

Sophie (19:39)
yeah, for sure. honestly, and so many levels, I'm so insanely crazy privileged and I'm well aware of that. But I also, I'm not the type of person, I mean, look at my arms, I'm like altitude and I'm like, I'm just, I've always had severe issues with authority. Like my entire time of school was just me rebelling against every single teacher.

Sam (20:06)
I relate, I relate so little to that.

Sophie (20:09)
So I knew from the very get-go when I went to university very early on, I knew I could not possibly go into corporate. So I started very early on to go into criminal law. And criminal law is historically typically is more the small law firms or university research. And criminal law also interested me because it's very close to the intersection of like...

psychology.

Sam (20:39)
Sociology, psychology, lot of stuff. Yeah, because law by itself, let's agree to that. I didn't do law by itself. did geopolitics and stuff like that around it because law by itself is, is boring. like as any like human science constructing science, you know, like it lives by itself. It exists only for itself, you know, and, also there's a lot of thing to say about the, the, the idea of

what to think about justice and what it really means when it is applied in human societies, you know, and law by itself is really such a bummer, you know, as a topic and as a field to study. It doesn't bring any happiness, I think, to anyone. You just learn it because you have to and because it will make you something good for lawyer or judge or anything, but by itself is just, ⁓ there's no like...

gratification to learn it, I feel.

Sophie (21:39)
Yeah, mean, don't, I don't like I'm always careful with like generalizations. I'm sure they're like a few funky nerds that really, really like it that are like, you know, very much into Roman law and then how it kind of like transfer to what we have today.

Sam (21:59)
But this is like applied to history. know what I mean? Like, low by itself, just the text, like it's just what it is, but it's not, you know?

Sophie (22:08)
Yeah, no, mean, I 100 % agree. I definitely had like issues with the dryness of the whole material.

Sam (22:17)
But it doesn't remove the fact that I was very interested to link subject to it, you know.

Sophie (22:22)
Yeah, and it is important. It is an important field in the sense of like, it's, it is implicit in every single, but pretty much in every single interaction we have ever. It is intricate in so many parts of our lives. So it is an important topic, which is why it drove me so wild because it's a fundamentally flawed system. Let's just leave it at that. ⁓

That's another topic we could get into and like make a whole episode about it, but it's a fundamentally flawed system. And it really wasn't working for me and how I work as a human, my body type, my creativity wasn't fully honored. Like there were so many aspects that why it wasn't working for me, but I also didn't have an alternative. I was like, what the hell am I supposed to do otherwise? I studied for five years.

I have no, like I'm good at like a lot of things, but I have no like one great craft, one great skill that I could just pull out and be like, okay, I'm just going to do this. So in the beginning, I was pretty much on the sofa for about four months. my doctor just gave me a sick leave actually for over a year. And I was on the sofa.

And I just knew, okay, this cannot continue. And that's kind of like where I made a promise with myself. And like, well, everything I've done so far and obviously like the choice of me going into law, there were a lot of like rational reasons behind it. I also, wanted to gain the love of my dad that I never really got, you know, and so many other aspects I wanted to not be questioned. used to live like, I was a very rebellious teenager. I used to live like a very

wildlife when I was younger and I, I, I sense so much judgment around that. I, I felt so inferior because everyone else seemed to have their lives in order. So I wanted to have a life that was in order. So I could just be like, Hey, I'm a lawyer and no one would question me. And I liked the idea of that. So a lot of like rational reasoning behind it. And when everything broke down, I was like, well, that clearly didn't get me anywhere.

Sam (24:43)
totally

relate to this explanation of like, there's no question to my related to who I am as a person now. I'm something like fixed in society. I'm a lawyer, you know, and like, it's like authority, you know, you put some authority in the table and that's it. And it's not question.

Sophie (25:00)
I didn't even, yeah, didn't even, I didn't even crave authority per se. I just didn't want to be questioned.

Sam (25:05)
No, it's not the authority like I apply authority to other people. It's like I have a position of authority. know, people know that I hold that position. That's what I meant, you know.

Sophie (25:16)
Yeah, exactly. That's kind of like... So when I realized that reasoning didn't really make sense because I learned further down the line, right? It's like we always, or I at least, try to construct my life almost from the outside in. Like to reverse engineer it, to make it look good in the hopes that it will feel good eventually. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I was like, if my life looks good from the outside, it must feel good eventually.

And I realized that that is like a fundamentally flawed thought because you have to make it feel good. And the looks of it don't really matter anymore once it feels good.

Sam (26:00)
it will like follow up as

Sophie (26:02)
Yes, I totally do think so. But anyway, I was like, okay, that didn't leave me anywhere. I'm essentially rock bottom. And that's when I made a promise to myself to from now on, and I mean, that's an ongoing experiment and it was not a one day to another transition where it was like, from now on, I'm just going to listen to my heart. I'm not going to make decisions anymore based on

what I think is right and what rationally makes sense, but I'm going to make decisions based on my heart and what lights up my heart and what makes me happy.

Sam (26:37)
Yeah, totally relate. I totally relate.

Sophie (26:40)
I

really want to hear everything about your, ⁓ how that came about, but I'm just going to finish my story. So through that, I I started traveling originally just for three months and those three months extended to, well, I'm still traveling.

Sam (26:55)
And along along now.

Sophie (26:56)
I'm one and a half years in. Okay, we're the same. I haven't been back to Switzerland in over a year now. I left, I went back briefly last summer in 2024. I left again last August and I haven't been back ever since. I'm going back this winter, I'm going back in December for two months, but then I'm probably going to be off again for a long time. And now...

The biggest question I think a lot of my followers have and people that listen to my podcast, if they're not super close to me, and this is also kind of what I wanted to broach as a subject. I thought about this a lot, but I do want to talk about this because it's such an essential part of my story. So a lot of people obviously ask, so how do you finance your endeavors?

This is a really crazy story. It's a very, very deeply personal story, but I want to share it. Two years ago, through the wildest, craziest coincidences, family history. So my grandma died about three years ago and I inherited 350,000 Swiss francs. So it's like this.

wild dream everyone has of like getting a whole bunch of like a third of a million just like handed to you out of nothing. I did not expect this whatsoever. Obviously I knew that my grandma had money. I'd never knew how much. I also wasn't supposed to inherit because my mom is still alive. So normally the inheritance processes, if the parents are alive, the parents get the money and once they decide

they died, you get it, right? And this sounds, ⁓ I mean, I'm fully aware of the craziness and of the privilege that comes with that, but I also want to emphasize first off, what is really insane is that I kind of, like there was a feeling inside of me that I always knew I would get a large sum of money, but I didn't know why, which is a crazy thing. Like why would you have

Why? I was like, whenever that thought popped into my mind, I was like, I can't be, that doesn't make any sense. And I was always like, I was sustaining myself from the very get-go of my studies. My parents did support me, like, of like, they supported me with like the very essentials. Everything else, always, like, I was very used to like working for what I needed and like always. And so coincidentally, that money came about at the same time as when I had my breakdown.

And to me, that just seemed very serendipitous because it felt like I got that money to change not only the situation, but also almost like I made it my mission to like put this money to use in the sense that like I am in the crazy privileged position of like being able to experiment.

Sam (30:13)
I'm saying life as intended.

Sophie (30:16)
It's

life experiment in the sense that I want to figure out whether there is a way to earn a living through alternative means and measures that doesn't exploit neither myself nor others, that is based around love, co-creation, joy, pleasure, and allows for that whole palette

to be alive at all times while I also don't have to be scared that I can't feed myself the next day. And so that has been kind of like an ongoing experience, but simultaneously, I listen to my heart, I listen to what feels right to me. I don't, don't get me wrong, I don't want to complain or be like, my situation is so hard. Like, no, my situation is great, but I do want to say there's no one

who can show me how to do it. Like the fact that I have to figure out everything for myself, because there's no one in the same exact situation as I am. the fear that keeps bubbling up over and over again of like, am I just wasting my money away? Am I just, you know, is this going to lead anywhere? Am I ever going to, am I just delusional?

Am I just like, am I doing a crazy thing and am I going to be a laughing stock further down the, you know what I mean? Like, and I think without one, I don't want to toot my horn. don't want to, you know, be, be come across and be like overly like, yeah, I'm so like, this is so cool. This is so brave, but I do think it takes a lot of courage to not play the safe part. Yeah. And to really like, I went all in. I'm like, if I, if this was a game of poker.

All my chips are on the table. I'm like, I'm putting everything out there. I'm gonna try everything that is possible. I hope for the best and I'm completely open and let's see where this takes me. So this is.

Sam (32:36)
I totally feel that way as well. But there's a saying, know, like, if you know where it leads, it's not your path.

Sophie (32:46)
Mmm, I love that.

Sam (32:47)
You know, so you have to walk first. Like ⁓ a path is made by walking. So you're just moving and you'll see where it leads. But if you don't know where, it's good sign. It's yours.

Sophie (33:04)
And I want to talk about this more because not knowing where it leads is the scariest thing ever, but it's also the most rewarding. Like if you forge your own true path that really aligns with your heart, there's no feeling that it's similar to what we discussed earlier about like connecting with a person where it just feels so aligned. It's like being on your own path generates a kind of happiness you don't know if you've never tried it.

Sam (33:34)
Yeah, exactly. And you could never understand as well. Never. you don't experience it. and I've been shown again by Instagram, by people I randomly met that it's possible that some people really like have it all together for themselves because they tried, you know, and they set themselves for disappointment, for failure, but at some point they succeeded, you know, like I have my very good friend from New York actually, Sue, she's doing, ⁓

So she studied law as well, international law as myself, also humanitarian law. But like what to do with it, you know, and then instead of me going to like cutting it off because it was so depressing at some point for me and going to aviation and changing paths, you know, for a feeling because I chased the feeling at some point. And she just studied cinematography and stuff like that. And she became like...

an artistic director freelance now, and she only does like socially engaged, you know, project around the justice system in the US, the people without like, visa and stuff like that. And like, she basically, she works with our friends, you know, she basically set teams, you know, all together, like the cinematographer, the photographer, the actor and stuff like that. And they, put

project together basically by just feeling the same way and going to the same direction. And there's like a lot of what you said about motions, you know, it's just people that came together and they work like that, you know, and she's having like a good life. She's having a good salary. She's living in New York. She's having a good apartment and she kind of figured out how to still apply, in law and to make it like more into the creative stuff, you know, and she became an artistic director in that field.

And I was like, wow, that's very inspiring, you know? And you did. And that's quite, but she has crazy story. She had a family, you know, history like really crazy. Like grandpa used to fight with Fidel Castro. used to be like in prison for like 20 years. Fidel Castro would write him letters until he died, you know? Yeah. She came from such a wide history. anyway, some people did, you know, so you got to believe that.

Sophie (35:33)
and we're inspiring.

Sam (35:59)
It can happen to you too. And that's actually what I'm feeling too as well for myself. Unlike you, well, I got money because I was working in such a shitty job that no one would do it except if you don't make like a good salary. So basically it was so destructive that the only people willing to do it, you needed to pay them well. So, but at some point it wasn't enough, know, every one of my colleagues would be

probably diagnosed by the psychiatrist as depressed or having some troubles, you know, because they're not really happy. And all I was talking for 60, 70 hours a week was just money, you know, and my job was around people, but it was not people. It was money. You know, I was selling some guy a price and what amount of money I was making a month was depending on how much I was winning about.

⁓ a guy, you know, because you had a fixed salary, but a very big like stretch as infinite variable. And everything revolved around money. And at some point it feels so empty. It feels so fucking empty that you don't have any passion. You don't have any hobbies. don't have, you lost, you lose interest in everything. And it was like that for every of my colleagues. That's why each night, each fucking evening, instead of going back home,

It's fucking 8 PM, 9 PM. We don't go back home. After work, we stay together and we still drink. You know, and we're like, because we need to escape from it one way or another, you know? And so I didn't get the in the retail stuff, but I went away from my job with like a good amount of money, spare money that I put aside. I was about to buy a house. I didn't do it.

Well, with a lot of obviously debt and stuff like that, but I had some spare money. And yeah, I did it all in and I'm almost broke like totally. And, but I'm not scared, weirdly, you know, because I still believe that I can still make it until the last day I will try. That's all.

Sophie (38:16)
Yeah. And I feel like over like the past year, you got so much momentum also. No?

Sam (38:23)
Yeah,

I mean, I got a lot of signs that it's possible. I got a lot of signs that if I put my best out of here, which I'm not doing yet because I have high expectations also, it will work at some point. So I just have to do more.

Sophie (38:40)
do believe in you wholeheartedly. And I think, again, like your voice is really important and I think it helps a lot of people and that is beautiful.

Sam (38:50)
You too, you too, definitely, like you helped me. That's why I connected with you. So thank you again.

Sophie (38:57)
Well, mutually at the end of the day. that's the thing, right? It's like, it's a line, it's a win-win.

Sam (39:03)
Yep, exactly. But the truth in that is just we have to walk that path not knowing where it leads. And we have to do it with the hopeful heart, you know.

Sophie (39:16)
Yeah, I 100 % agree. And that's kind of like why this podcast came about. That was the birthplace of this podcast was to document that journey, to be like, I don't know where this is going. I put my whole faith in like the hand of the universe and to just honestly and openly share that path. And I can...

sincerely say, even though of course I've battled with so much fear and insecurity and, and over and over again, like I get riddled by like, am I doing enough? Should I be doing more? like, and it's definitely like the, the, the uncomfortableness of like not being on a traditional path is real. it never ending ongoing thing? ⁓ and you always constantly have to.

Sam (40:11)
Well, it-

Sophie (40:12)
really set your brain straight not to go down that road. It's hard though. Not to go on that. Yeah, it's so hard. But it's also so satisfying. And I can honestly say I've never been happier in my entire life.

Sam (40:19)
It's hard though.

That's great to hear. That's something that I love to hear. And in a way I share that vision as well and the feeling of not getting controlled, manipulated, stolen at some point at the end of the day. for me, my job was all about money and I knew every numbers, every input, every outcome. And when I was getting back home with a good salary, but I knew I was just winning like 5 % of the amount I was making for the company.

Yeah. With no intermediary, there's no merchandise, it's just money, know? And I just get 5%, they get 95. And when I mean they, I just mean the shareholders and the CEO basically, there's no person in between. And I'm like, the hell man, no, you know, I can't agree with that. I'm not happy with that. And since I was always like, you know, like so much trouble against authority.

I was always, you know, I was the guy. So I was in a job, you know, you imagine the world of Wall Street, it kind of the same vibe. Everyone is dressed in like dark, dark or blue suit, you know. And sometimes I would be like with my hat, I would be with like some, some, some sneakers, you know, in the office of the CEO. And everyone was like, my God, what he's doing, what he's doing, what he's doing. And I'm like, I'm just being myself, you know.

Sophie (41:53)
I would have done the same, but let me just say I have so much respect for you that you even tried. Like I could have not done this for one single day. I would have just died.

Sam (42:04)
It's really not easy. I'm not gonna lie.

Sophie (42:07)
Okay, yeah, I think we're slowly but surely going to wrap this up. But one thing that I wanted to talk to you about before we end this is like what you touched on just earlier, the drinking, like the emptiness and then the subsequent need of like having to compensate it in a way. And I do feel like, I don't know about you, but I definitely like ever since I embarked on this journey,

I hardly drink anymore. Like I have a drink every now and then, but it's like once every three months or so.

Sam (42:42)
Well, I totally stopped drinking. It's been three years. And actually what was funny is like once I actually stopped drinking when I was still working because I had like this revelation when I did like a surf camp for the first time I did surf, you know, and I felt like, shit, I was not good with my body. I was not aligned at all. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm aging fast right now. What's happening? You know? And basically I

Sophie (42:45)
Totally. wow.

Sam (43:12)
just got back on my health and I stopped drinking. It was one of my first decision and it was just for a month, you know, I was like, ah, maybe it's good for a month to clean myself and stuff. But the pressure applied by society, by friends, by the work environment to make me drink even during that fucking little months, convinced me for the rest of my life that I needed to stop. I was like,

getting into argument with people bringing me beers, me wine. Like in France, the discussion about alcohol is really like a hot topic, I guess. It's a thing that needs to be addressed at some point. It's not like that in every country.

Sophie (43:52)
It's so ingrained in your culture, right? I mean, especially wine. You guys are like the birthplace of wine,

Sam (43:58)
Yeah, and in the North it's beers, you know, like when it's not wine, it's beer. So it's always one out of the two, know, beer is for summer, wine is for dinner, but you drink in every fucking meal.

Sophie (44:09)
Yeah, it's crazy. think especially, and you only really realize that once you stop, then you look at the world and you're like, what are people doing?

Sam (44:19)
Well, I was at my friend's 30th birthday, like Saturday night, and everyone was so drunk, you know, at 10 p.m., you know, and I was like, my God, that's funny, you know, in a way I miss this feeling, this flow of emotions, know, this vulnerability. I think like when you drink, you're more able to share more, you know, and, but I...

Sophie (44:42)
course.

Sam (44:46)
I do really think that I don't need that anymore in my life. And that's it.

Sophie (44:51)
Yeah, and you're it soberly. naturally, which is a whole different kind of high, I believe.

Sam (44:54)
Naturally.

Yeah,

it's more difficult to get into it, you know, and to lose the social barriers and the inhibition, but it's better this way.

Sophie (45:11)
I agree 100%.

Sam (45:13)
And yeah, alcohol, think alcohol is the best, is the wife of the workforce today, know, especially in the, in those high end, know, slavery job that are, that are high paying, you know, you put cocaine and a bit of alcohol and everything goes so well, you know.

Sophie (45:30)
Yeah, definitely. It reinforces a fucked up system. It's a vicious cycle. I want to wrap this up because we've been talking for way over an hour at this point. But the only thing that I want to touch on before we wrap this up is where are we going, like, societally? Like, where do we want to go? In what kind of world do we want to live?

Sam (45:55)
Okay, you asked me where society is going or where I wanted to go.

Sophie (45:59)
I want to know from you where you want society to go and what kind of world do you want to live.

Sam (46:08)
No, I wish people were more connected to themselves because in a way they would be more connected to each other. I think they would show more kindness, they would show more interest in people and just, you know, the money took just such a big part in life, in everyone's life that everything is just transactional in a way. And it's not obviously the case. You have some transaction even in friendship, you know.

When you share something, when you share your help, you expect sometimes to have the help back, you know, but I just want it to be more natural, like you express, you know, like more organic. Like there's something that I love to compare is the way of driving. So I'm a pilot, you know, but I drive like a shit lot. Like I probably drove more than 1 million kilometers in my life and it's only been 10 years that I'm driving. So, and I'm pretty experienced everywhere in the world to drive.

And the way people drive is a good reflection, I think, of society or of the flow of society because it's very different from each place. And for example, what I love about Asia, especially Southeast Asia, is like there's not much law, you know, the social construct around law, around reglementation is not so present. Like it is, for example, in Japan or in Germany, in the US, bit less in the US, but anyway, the thing is like,

they have no laws, they have too many bikes, too many cars. But in a way, organically, it's organized to work, you know, like a full body system, you know, it flows. I mean, like, if you ever cross the road in Vietnam, you would understand what I mean. It's like you cross in between the motorbike and there's like 100 of motorbike per second and like they avoid you, you know.

They just flow through you and you just move and they move as well. And they will not punish you for being there. They will try to help you in a way, even by the driving. And this vision of society really makes me feel good because they think as a society. And when you go to the US especially, you understand that the end goal of capitalism is that...

isn't really something we should be inspired to be, you know? Like, each hike everywhere in the world just because sometimes I just love the experience. In the US, you would never like... No one stops, you Everyone is afraid of each other. And that kind of society is just something I can't agree with.

Sophie (48:50)
Sam, there's like a million things I would like keep, I would love to keep discussing with you. I feel like we should make a whole episode on law. Like just law in general. Like what you just said, I mean, what really struck a nerve first off was transactionality is not the same as reciprocity. Yep. Right? That really resonated with me. And also what you said about the metaphor that you used with like

the cars.

Sam (49:21)
Yeah, the society feels like a human body.

Sophie (49:24)
I

was just going to say that, it just sounded to me like it's one living body and we have to realize that we are one living body.

Sam (49:33)
We are interconnected.

Sophie (49:34)
We are, we are for sure. like getting back to that is just, is strenuous and weird because you're like, like how is this go? Like how do I get there? But it's just also so rewarding and there's so much, so many beautiful things waiting for you. And I have one last question for you. How much do you think of this like striving for success and wanting to be really good at something derives from like,

At the core is people wanting to receive love and not knowing how to do that.

Sam (50:12)
Maybe. I would say it's driven by some deep and rooted insecurities. Maybe around love, maybe around other stuff, you know, not obviously only love. don't know. ⁓ It's a difficult question. It's a difficult question. think inherently though, we can't forget the fact that we are collaborative, but we are also competitive. We are multiple, you know.

Sophie (50:18)
Yeah, but this is

Sam (50:41)
Like we are multiple layers. When we are kids, you know, I used to play that all the time and then there was no social construct around it. You know, I was playing at the pool when I was four or five with my cousin and the game was just who all this breast the longest, you know, who run the fastest, you know, and the comparison between each other also build your personality. And maybe at some point, if you still need the comparison to build yourself, you miss something.

But when you're a child, you tried that, you know, already. it's not just lack. I think it goes both ways. That's such a difficult question.

Sophie (51:18)
both ways.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot, but I just feel like at the core, we all crave connection. And we all need connection. Everyone needs connection. And I feel like because we, like a lot of people kind of don't know how to build that anymore, how to forge that. We're so scared of getting hurt, of being used, of being, you know, whatever. And I...

I just have the feeling that in a lot of cases it's like this overcompensation of trying to prove that we're actually good, trying to prove that we're worthy. And at the core, feel like it's just a very unconscious cry for love, cry for connection that just doesn't know where to go anymore. And then it kind of like overcompensates in a very destructive way.

Sam (52:13)
Yeah, probably, but it's just a way of feeding admiration and ego because they don't know what connection is anymore. ⁓ is not what it's supposed to be at some point, you know. And that's why that was, I can come back with what I was telling you about friendship, lot of friendship or just based around like weird, like power games, especially between males, you know, there is someone that is like looking

Sophie (52:20)
Exactly.

Sam (52:42)
up to someone in some way and the other one is just such ego, know, and ego driver and it leads in that way. And it's not much collaborative. It's way more like I am the superior, I'm the manager and you're like my child, you know, and it feels like that in some friendship, especially between males. I don't know for women, I can only talk about my tribe, you know, but in a way I think that they forgot that part about connecting with people and they just need the admiration now.

Just the need to be the first to to need to be win, to win more money, to have more power, to have more status, you know, which I don't chase at all. Like I want to be rich of time first, then have the money to have a roof on my head, to feed people and to be privileged enough to host my friends. yeah, maybe sometimes someday grow family, you know, but the, the success has switched.

so much in my head now.

Sophie (53:43)
That's beautiful.

Sam (53:45)
And I used to be that corporate rat, you know, running after his 10k a month and be so proud because he was making six figures, blah, blah, blah.

Sophie (53:53)
I mean, we all are, a lot of people were at this place. I definitely was at the place where I thought I had to just prove to be better because otherwise we're going to drown. Otherwise I'm going to be unworthy and discarded forever. Crazy what our brains tell ourselves.

Sam (54:11)
That's another point, like in society, in most society, your place is just defined by your status and your job, which is like so fucked up.

Sophie (54:23)
It is. And it's only once you realize that connecting with people that truly align with you, then those things get so unimportant. It just goes out the window.

Sam (54:35)
Well, if you ask me what I am, I will talk about the books I love, the film I love, you know, and the thing I like to do and enjoy to do. And if you ask someone or if you ask my past self two years ago, it would start by saying, I manage like 40 people. I don't get any joy from that, but it was defining me, you know.

Sophie (54:55)
Yeah, and I mean, let's just talk about this also. It's like when you're unemployed, explaining that to people and explaining who you are without having a job is a challenge.

Sam (55:09)
It's not because I don't explain myself. I just tell them how it is. I just tell, ⁓ I have the best job. I have no job, you know?

Sophie (55:20)
But

were you at this stage from the get-go? Because it took a while for me to get to that point. To really be able to own that and to not feel any shame or guilt. Any guilt. Yeah.

Sam (55:33)
Yeah, no, maybe it built up, it sometimes as well, but no, I just want to confront and know the people I have in front of me by just saying that and I let them talk after. And I just like know where they are in their life and society and how they see society.

Sophie (55:50)
It's so revealing what angle people will get back at you. Well, I think we're going to end it here. I don't want to hold you up any longer. It's been such a crazy honor to have you here. It's been a pleasure. I absolutely love talking to you. I could go on for another hour easily. Easy. I feel like we have so many topics we could discuss.

Sam (56:05)
to

Easy.

Sophie (56:18)
⁓ We could elaborate more. Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us, with my little fairy universe. And to you, my little fairies, I thank you so much for sticking around. Let this episode inspire you to go on your own crazy way, just like Sam and I do because it's beautiful and there's a community that is just based on different values.

that embarking on that journey kind of like enables you to connect to people in a different way. And I can highly recommend, even though I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, it's not the easiest thing ever, but it is a beautiful thing.

If this episode stirred something in you, I'd love to hear about it. Send me a little whisper on Instagram at fairyt.podcast or just write the words fairy wings in my DMs. That's how I'll know you were here.

Sam (57:39)
This was a 6-2 studio production. Find us at six-tw.studio for all your creative sound needs.