A Fairy Goodbye For Now

In the season finale of Fairy Tea, I reflect on my transformative journey throughout season one. I share personal stories including a unique Christmas manifestation ritual that I do each year with my sister and discuss the importance of vulnerability in my podcasting journey emphasizing the need for co-creation, abundance, and authenticity, while challenging societal norms around perfectionism and identity. I also tell you about my vision for the future of Fairy Tea and encourage listeners to embrace their own magic and creativity. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for Season 2!

Highlights:

• Reflections on Season One
• Manifestation Rituals
• The Journey of Authenticity Through Embracing Vulnerability
• Co-Creation and Abundance
• Breaking Free from Scarcity Mindset
• Embracing Self-Expression
• Navigating Shame and Self-Acceptance
• The Future of Fairy Tea

This episode was produced by six-two.studio

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Fairy Tea is a deeply personal podcast where I share the raw, honest messiness of life—exploring how to break free from societal expectations and follow the heart’s calling. Blending storytelling, spirituality, folklore, and self-discovery, Fairy Tea is both magical and real, whimsical yet grounded. It’s a space to embrace uncertainty, face challenges without fear, and stay curious about the possibilities ahead. Through my own experiences, I invite listeners to see that a new way of living is possible—one that is intuitive, soulful, and uniquely their own.

Instagram: @fairytea.podcast or @akayourfairygodmother

Email: akayourfairygodmother@gmail.com

Transcript

Sophie (00:00.362) Welcome to Fairy Tea, where we sip on the ethereal wisdom of the fairy realm and uncover its ancient secrets for healing, pleasure and rest. I'm your host Sophie, here to sprinkle a little enchantment into your everyday life. Think of this as one great unfolding experiment. An invitation to dance with magic, trust the unseen and let curiosity lead the way.

Sophie (00:35.192) Hello everybody, hello little fairies. Welcome back to Fairy Tea. Welcome back to this season's finale. It is very special to me that I'm today recording episode 12, the last episode to the first season of Fairy Tea and honestly,

I don't have any bullet points, don't have any script whatsoever, because I felt like I just wanted to record whatever comes through. I want to reflect on the past couple of months with you and on the past episodes and just kind of like get to a point where we can say goodbye for now but rest assured season 2

is already in the pipeline. Fairy Tea's here to stay. But first things first. We're at the end of season one of Fairy Tea and this season has been nothing short of transformational. I've been wanting to put out a podcast for

way over a year. And it took me quite some time to get ready internally. But in hindsight, it feels like every step happened exactly when it was supposed to happen. And it all worked out in somewhat of a divinely guided timeline. And I want to start this

episode with telling you little story. So my sister and I have this cute little Christmas tradition that every other year we celebrate Christmas just her and I. And what we do is we have one particular ritual that we prepare on the 24th and then execute

Sophie (02:57.588) on the six nights before New Year's Eve and on the six nights after New Year's Eve. It's called, I don't know how it's called in English to be honest, but in German it's like, which loosely translates to rough nights, which apparently are like the six nights before New Year's Eve and the six nights after that. And so what we do,

is we write down 13 manifestations. And we do this in a very particular way. So we write them down as if they had already happened. So if I want to manifest like good health, I write down, I'm the healthiest I've ever been. So we do that with 13 different manifestations that we want to manifest for the next year. And we write them on little pieces of paper.

And then we fold them together so we don't see the manifestations anymore. We can't tell them apart. And then what you do is like each night on those Raunächte nights, we burn one of the manifestations. And the idea is, because like I told you, we write down 13 manifestations, but the nights are only 12. So the idea is you burn...

12 of those manifestations and those 12 manifestations you leave up to the universe. The universe is going to take care of them and that the one remaining manifestation is the one that you're responsible for in the new year, like in the upcoming year. And so we did that. We've been doing this for a few years now.

And last year, even though I didn't spend it with my sister, I did it, like we both did it separately from each other. And last year I did my 13 little manifestations. I burned 12 of them. And the one that remained, actually, wait, let me pull it up because I have it right next to my bed.

Sophie (05:20.174) So the one that remained last year, the beginning of 2025 was, and I'm literally reading this to you right now. I'm so blessed that I finally dared to start my podcast. My community is growing steadily. I'm enjoying sharing my life and vision effortlessly through my podcast, my photos, texts, and videos.

Whatever my heart desires to share is right. I'm no longer worried about being perceived, but trust that the right people find me effortlessly. I'm not kidding you guys. This is what I manifested and when I saw that last remaining manifestation, obviously it was, you know, a very clear

synchronistic sign from the universe for me to finally take that leap of faith and get going. And, you know, I want to reflect a little bit back because you guys and I, you wonderful souls that tune into my lovely little fairy universe every other week.

Thank you so much, by the way. It means so much that you guys are here and that you kind of like accompany me on my journey. And when I started this and like going back to episode one, I was so nervous. My voice was kind of trembling. I scripted a huge part of what I was saying just because

I felt like my brain was shutting down whenever I tried to speak freely, which, you know, now we're at a whole different point. I don't even have a single bullet point that I wrote down because I just felt like I want to talk to you from my heart. I want to tell you whatever comes through and feels authentic to me in the very moment. So a lot has happened.

Sophie (07:46.06) recorded the first episodes back in May. Now it's mid-November. So it's been almost, yeah, it's been half a year. And this podcast is not a perfect product. This podcast is not, I rehearsed my speaking for months and months on end to deliver

a very neat, very polished product to you. That's not what this podcast is. This podcast is so raw and so vulnerable that I sometimes cringe a little bit myself. But I think it's so necessary that we, that I, to me, I think it was so necessary for me and so healing for me to not wait for the moment where

I am so edgeless and so perfect that I can finally open up about who I am and what flows through me. And I feel like that's very representative of the world in general. I feel like there's this crazy obsession with perfectionism and mastery, which has its place, right? I'm not saying

You shouldn't be really good at flying a plane as a pilot. Obviously, you have to be really good at that before you actually do it or like before you actually fly a couple hundred passengers. But there's also like, I feel like there's a need to return back to joy, to pleasure, to experimentation. And that's what I wanted to.

document as authentically as I could. I mean, looking back at like the first couple of episodes that I did on my own was really something completely different than came through later on. And this season is definitely a little bit all over the place. It was intended for you to get to know me, for you to get to know

Sophie (10:12.28) where I'm coming from, for you to understand why I call myself a fairy. And for you to understand that all of this is kind of a necessity for me. Like this is not a fun little project. I mean, it is, but it's also so vital for me to pursue this project. And like I told you two years ago, I kind of pledged to myself

to unapologetically listen to my heart, is again an ongoing project and experiment. And through that, I really learned that I'm not wired for the world we know it right now. I'm not wired for a world of

productivity at all costs. I'm not wired for hustle culture. And that's why I call myself a fairy amongst other things. I call myself a fairy because I'm wired for a softer world. I'm wired for a world that honors love, connection, co-creation. And I know I keep saying the same

buzzwords over and over again, those words mean so much to me. And the vision that lives within me, that I feel like lives within a lot of you guys too. I want to bring that vision out. I do believe in a world where we do not have to exploit neither ourselves, our bodies,

nor anyone else. I genuinely do not believe in competition. Not because I can't compete with anyone, but because I find no joy in competing with other people. I find that it drives me anxious, it drives me rigid, it drives me tense. And also, even if I were to be better than everyone else,

Sophie (12:39.022) I feel like that would be such a lonely place to be up there all alone, better than everyone else, but also sad and lonely. And there's just no point for me in pursuing that. I don't see the benefit of that. And I don't believe that the only way to survive is to outrun others.

I don't believe that that's necessary. I do believe that we can all coexist and co-create next to one another and be happy with all the different energies that we represent. And especially co-creation, like, it's so freaking cool. You bringing your energy, I bring my energy.

And together we create something that neither you nor I could create on our own. Like how freaking, like it's just a no-brainer to me. Why would we not all opt for that? Why do we instead isolate and are paranoid about other people taking things away from us? Reluctant to share our gifts, reluctant to share the things that we possess.

with other people because what are we scared of exactly? I believe we live in a paradise. And I mean, that became so abundantly clear to me throughout the time that I now have been living in Latin America, which has been almost one and a half years. There's so much abundance all around us everywhere.

But being so caught up in this mindset of like scarcity and this mindset of having to outrun others and this mindset of like being too slow of like falling behind of not doing enough. It just blinds us from seeing from perceiving what has been there all along. And there's almost like this crazy contradiction of like

Sophie (15:00.278) Or at least that's how I perceived my own evolution and my own kind of like patterns that pulled me back time and time again into this like rat rice mentality. And it's almost as if being unhappy and finding things that we lack seems easier than honoring what we have.

and honoring the things that are easily attainable. I was struggling with this mindset for a long time that was very deeply ingrained into my brain chemistry that the things that I wanted were hard to attain. And only if they were really, really hard to attain, I felt like a sense of gratification or like I...

felt like they were worth fighting for. Whereas the things that came easily to me almost didn't seem as valuable. Which again goes to speak so much about our societal limiting beliefs, our collective limiting beliefs that then kind of keeps us stuck in this loop.

of running after things that really, at the end of the day, aren't that important, aren't that meaningful. I've been trying to get to the bottom of this, at least for myself, because I'm fully aware that once I will be laying on my deathbed, it won't be the diplomas and it won't be

all the shiny things that I attained through really being harsh on myself, really bullying myself into one, somehow wanting to be a polished, perfect version of mine that could not possibly ever be criticized in any way. And at least for me, that

Sophie (17:25.774) desire or that longing or that running after a certain kind of status maybe or being perceived in a particular way stemmed from, and I mean this is no surprise to anyone who has ever done a little bit of inner work, but it definitely stemmed from a fragile ego from

electronically having low self-esteem low self-worth and That really is a vicious cycle because that those voices then tell you you have to do this you have to do that This is not perfect. That is not perfect. And and you really keep on bullying yourself into certain belief systems and and you reinforce

The harshness. The harshness that really shocked your system when you were too tender to defend yourself and then you kind of like integrated that into yourself and now that no one really from the outside is doing it to you anymore, you're kind of still doing it to yourself. Almost like the little elephant that was chained as a baby and then once it's grown up, even though it would be

sufficiently strong to like easily rip out the chains because of the fact that it learned so early on that it's trapped. It doesn't even try anymore. And that's kind like how I felt for a long time. And it felt dangerous. It felt incredibly dangerous to to try new things, to dabble with

self-expression, even though my heart never ached, never longed for anything else more. Ever since I was a little kid, all I ever wanted was to shine brightly, to like be seen, to be heard, to be loud. I do have a Leo rising, so that kind of checks. But because I felt I haven't mastered it, because I felt like I wasn't, I wasn't a shiny, perfect

Sophie (19:54.766) product, yet I felt like I wasn't worthy of doing so. And so this podcast is almost like me tricking myself into finally walk the path less traveled, to finally walk my own path as opposed to the path that other people think was right for me, as opposed to the path that I cognitively thought was right for me.

The path that is right for me and I wholeheartedly believe that's at this point is what feels alive to me. And what feels alive to me generates a very specific feeling in my heart. It's very hard to put into words. But if I think for example, so today actually marks my last day in Mexico City. I spent the past two months in Mexico City and it's been nothing short of magical. And I'm going to share so much more.

on my time here on Instagram. make sure to follow me there and stay tuned for so much more content in different mediums. what I'm trying to say is even before I spent the summer in the States, I decided to come here in May this year. I was like, yep, I'm going to Mexico City for two months.

17th September through 17th November. And there was this glowing feeling in my heart, this warm glow in my chest. And I just knew that's where I needed to be for exactly that time. And I swear to God, it feels so lined up. Like it feels so lined up. It felt so lined up when I got here.

I felt so at home, I felt so protected, I felt so guided through the time I was here. And it feels absolutely perfectly right to leave right now. Even though I don't really want to leave, I felt so, again, I felt so at home here in Mexico City from the very, pretty much from the very first day, which is wild. I was here before twice, but

Sophie (22:14.638) each time for like a week and I liked it but it was not it was not this like wow feeling but this time it was just like I was so carried I was so I don't know it's hard to explain but what I'm trying to say is like I listen to my heart and it feels alive and that is kind of like the way I have to go and

Also, what came through more than ever in this period here in Mexico City is that I really am first and foremost an artist. And I've always been an artist and actually my dad, and this was somewhat like the most healing sentence he's ever said, he's ever told to me, he probably doesn't know that, but I think about a year ago, my dad out of the blue said to me,

and I remember this so distinctly, he was like, you know, Sophie, you've kind of always been an artist, even though you don't produce anything, but the way you live your life, you're an artist. And it meant so much to me because first off, I felt very seen and it meant more than anything to me that I came from my dad, which I mentioned this on two episodes ago that we sort of have like

Let's say a complex relationship, but him saying this kind of like also marked the moment where I dared to give myself that permission. It was like a sign. It was like a sign. And again, I don't think he's aware of that, but it was almost kind of like a divine nudge and a sign from the universe that kind of like told me, you're ready. It's time to go.

It's time to go for it. And I do believe I'm an artist. And I think I didn't dare to say that out loud in the past because I don't have this one craft that I'm very, very good at. And that just like speaks for itself. I think my art is more subtle. I think my art is first and foremost, the way I live my life, the way I pivot, the way I

Sophie (24:41.302) I really use my life as a canvas. I'm not even joking. And I think even though to go into law in the first place was there was definitely an aspect of me wanting to hide behind a label that was so easily tangible because I felt like, I think for the entirety of my life, I felt like I was sort of halfway

in this world, like in this very tangible, real 3D world and halfway in like a spiritual realm that I didn't really understand that to an extent scared me. And also I think for a long time, I think nowadays it's more than ever accepted to be like, I have certain gifts or can hear voices or

At least in the bubble that I live, not as frowned upon anymore as it used to be. But definitely, let's say 10 years ago, if I had said, I can hear voices, I would have raised eyebrows. I'm not saying I hear, I don't necessarily hear voices. I do get information from the universe. I'm sure about that. It doesn't necessarily translate into voices, but...

I do feel much more than probably other people do, emotionally, societally, energetically. And so that's one of the reasons why I tend to isolate a lot because I need to, I get overwhelmed very easily, overstimulated, and I almost need to live in

my own little happy bubble for the most part so I can kind of like deal with the real world if that makes sense. What I'm trying to say is, especially when I was younger, there were certain things that were so hard for me that seemed so easy or that seemed so easy to other people.

Sophie (27:03.948) because of the fact that I was halfway in a different dimension pretty much all the time always. And those were things like body hygiene. And I'm not even kidding you, I had a hard time to learn how to regularly brush my teeth. At the time there was so much shame around that because I felt like it's so easy for everyone. Especially because it was almost like schizophrenic to a point where

Everyone was like, yeah, Sophie is like really, really smart. And I felt like I was very, like I felt like I was genuinely smart in like grasping concepts and understanding and seeing behind so much layers, so many layers of the human experience of collective experience. And I would absorb

information only by being somewhere. for example, when I was living in Cali, I made certain collective observations that people that lived there were like, there is no freaking way that you could know that. Because I get that information merely from being in a place long enough. Like I'm like an energetic sponge.

So I understand and feel and see and reflect and process so much. But at the same time, very mundane simple things were so hard to me when I was younger.

And so I felt both extremely intelligent and extremely dumb at the same time, which at the time I couldn't, I wasn't capable of like bringing the two together. Like now I am, today I am. Today I can see that because so much of my brain capacity was taken up by processing so much, the...

Sophie (29:16.014) simpler, easier physical tasks were harder for me to learn and it took me longer than it took other people. Nowadays I'm fine, nowadays I can clean my teeth, luckily. Very happy that I figured that out eventually. But there was like, yeah, I had to fight through and go through and struggle through a lot of shame, a lot of shame.

I feel like I was swimming in a soup of shame for a very, very long time. And again, like it took me so long to understand that there is no way that I can bully myself out of that. I had to learn to love myself out of that soup of shame. And I'm still on that task. I think it's a never ending

It's a never-ending story, but it's also a beautiful thing to go through and to learn and to evolve from. But I digress. What I'm trying to say is I wanted to hide in a more tangible label. Like, hey, I'm Sophie, I'm a lawyer, and I felt like I could, that would make me safe. That would make me feel safe in the world because no one ever

will question me again if I can be like, hey, I'm a lawyer. And interestingly enough, to an extent that was true and to an extent that is still true. If I show up anywhere and I'm like, hey, I'm originally a lawyer. People are like, ooh. And I'm like, no, no, Don't, like, first and foremost, I felt like I was putting up an act.

And I think it's a profession more than anyone, more than any other, that is just so much of an act. Lawyers and judges and public defenders equally, it's just about putting up an act and being good at that and like hiding behind that. And I think that also is reflective of the whole system.

Sophie (31:40.544) of law in it of itself. It consists of dogmatic rules that never really are capable of doing justice to a real life situation. But because we're like, we don't have a better system, for the lack of a better system, we have to stick with it. Which to me was never a sufficient.

Explanation is sufficient reasoning. But funnily enough, for most lawyers it is. But I don't want to get too deep into this because that I could make an entire podcast episode just about that, just about why I felt so fed up with law and why I think the structures are so wrong and why I think it's so unjust. And

inherently broken. But what I'm trying to say again, I was hiding behind the label because I didn't want to be questioned. didn't want to be perceived as the chaos that I was, the chaos that I still am. Because that felt dangerous, because that felt shameful.

And because I really wasn't able to make sense of myself and I definitely wasn't able to find somewhat of an archetype or idea in that reality back when I was in my teens, early twenties, that would really reflect the depth and the bandwidth.

that I felt.

Sophie (33:39.916) And so I needed something very tangible to hide behind because I really felt like if I'm not questioned from the outside world, then I will be fine. I really thought my problem was in the outside world. Not understanding at the time that I was really just projecting from the inside out. The

shaming and the doubting and the perception that I felt was mirrored back to me really came from the inside. Really was me feeling shameful about myself. Really was me not understanding who I was and what I wanted and where I had to go.

I felt like I had to be better than what I was in order to get what I wanted. And I think what I thought that I wanted at the time was to not to be questioned and was to have like a certain amount of like tangible success. Also not to be questioned, not to be outcast, to be, to fit in

and to be part of a group. And I do believe I had to go through all of this to understand that that's really not how life works. At least not for me. It may work for other people and I'm by no means saying that anybody else has to do what I did. I think it takes a type B kind of person to do what I do.

But I had to go through all of this to understand that you can really not reverse engineer your life. Because ultimately, what I was trying to manufacture through all of these things, through all of these things that I put in place, through meticulously orchestrating my perception through different means, but mostly also through like...

Sophie (36:05.718) running my sentences through my head a million times before I would even speak up was ultimately, ultimately, I wanted to live a good life. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to feel free. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to feel good. But I had no idea how to get there.

And I tried to almost like reverse engineer it in the sense that I wanted to make it look good. And I figured if it looks good, it must eventually also feel good. That just seemed logical to me at the time. And I think I really had to get to a point where I actually managed to make my life look so good on paper.

to understand that that really has nothing to do with how things feel. And that was also the moment where I kind of broke down because I was like, my God, I did everything that I could to make my life look good. And it just feels so freaking horrible that I just like collapsed under, like I just collapsed from exhaustion essentially.

And interestingly enough, like even me becoming a lawyer was almost like an artistic choice in the sense that from the type I was giving off ever since I was pretty young, I I was always very aesthetic. I was always like,

drawn to beauty, to arts. It was definitely somewhat of a surprise to a lot of people that I chose to go into law. And it almost had this allure because of that. I always want to make, like whatever no one would expect, that's kind of like what I want to do. That's kind of like what intrigues me and draws me in.

Sophie (38:25.422) So that was even at that time, it was kind of like an artistic decision to go into that. And I do think it was necessary overall looking at, I do think my law degree is gonna become important again at some point, but just in a very different, very meta way. But yeah, I for a very long time did not dare to speak out loud that I'm an artist.

because I felt like I wasn't tangible enough in that, I felt like I wasn't good enough. I couldn't really explain that to myself nor to others. So this whole podcast was kind of like me tricking myself into taking that step, taking that leap of faith and honoring the process of becoming that.

Not wanting to be somewhere that I'm not yet. Not trying to pretend something that I'm not. But really honoring the process and the way of getting to a place where I don't even know exactly what that's going to be.

I'm in a very, very interesting moment right now because I feel like a lot of things are coming together or a lot of things are coming together within the next two months. And at the same time, it's still like at such an early stage and it's so precious and like this project is still very small. But I also feel so much love and tenderness for the size that it is right now. And I think

Only a year ago I would have felt ashamed of it not being bigger, of almost like only being able to give it value because of its size. But now I give it value because it comes from my heart. And I know that it's never gonna be this tiny ever again in the future.

Sophie (40:39.264) So it's almost like, it's like a baby that's growing and it will never be this small ever again. So I try to honor and treasure every single moment that I get to experience on the way. Because I think there's really nothing else. Every idea of getting somewhere and especially the idea of getting somewhere fast is just an illusion, it's just a trap because

We also lose so much if we hustle somewhere as fast as we can, so many things get lost on the way. And I don't want that. I want to be present in every single moment and soak it up. And I love the fact that today I don't know as much as I know tomorrow. It also gives me this feeling of like, I have so much more life to live left, which is such a gift.

which is such an enormous privilege, really. And I don't mean to sound cheesy, but I feel like the more I honor every single moment for what it is, the more I also make peace with who I am right now. Because I can't change who I am right now anyways. I can just accept who I am right now and make the best possible decisions.

in the very moment with a beautiful vision for myself in mind for the future. That's all I can really do. That's all we ever can do really. And so yeah, I have a beautiful vision for this podcast. I'm so excited to become even more subtle, to become even more grounded within this, to grow my community around it, to

really bring service to people. Because I feel like the more open and vulnerable I share from my heart, the more it can encourage other people to really act from their hearts too. And I want to connect our hearts and bring our hearts together and

Sophie (43:02.272) And I'm just so curious to see where that leads us, where we're going in the future. And I want this to be a place of co-creation. I want to bring people together and share our energies and create something bigger, create something meaningful, create something that is expansive to everyone who chooses to come in touch with.

And I want to inspire others to do the same, to take risks, to be bold, to not be scared to show up. Because I can wholeheartedly say, even though my life doesn't look perfect anymore, I've never been happier. And I know that things will come together. I can feel that things will come together eventually, exactly how they're supposed to.

And I just, I'm just sick and tired of being scared. I'm sick and tired of complaining that we live in a system that is raked, that is lopsided and not doing anything about it. So this here is my real life experiment of trying to, of figuring it out, of figuring it out in real time. How can I live a life that feels so damn freaking good that things just kind of have to come together?

that things just kinda have to work out for me. So it's like a new approach. It's a new approach. I tried the old approach of making it look good to finally feel good and now we're like focusing on the feeling good and see how it's gonna work itself out. And I don't know where I'm going, but I know it will be all right. And I know we'll do it together. And that just means everything to me.

I hope you can take away as much as you possibly can from this season. I hope that I was in some way, or form capable of inspiring you to listen to your heart, to have hope for you to hear my real life.

Sophie (45:27.412) me in real time creating my own myth in motion and for you to understand that you're just as magical, you're just as majestic, and you really have it in your own hand to create your own narrative. Like we all, we're all creators of our own narrative and we, our perspectives matter and

whimsy really is my way of rebelling, my way of like being like no, fuck this. I'm not, I'm not gonna abandon my magic to fit into a world that tries to explain everything with logic. That's just not what I'm here for. And so yeah, let this final episode for now

Remind you that life is fucking magical. That we can always expand and grow through love. So for now, I'm saying goodbye and I hope to see you soon for the next season. And I love you all, little fairies.

Sophie (46:56.856) If this episode stirred something in you, I'd love to hear about it. Send me a little whisper on Instagram at fairyt.podcast or just write the words fairy wings in my DMs. That's how I'll know you were here.

This was a 6-2 Studio Production. Find us at six-two.studio for all your creative sound needs.