Metamorphosis with Ellie

What if the parts of you that don’t seem to fit are actually meant to belong together?

In this episode, I’m joined by Ellie as we make butterfly postcards and talk about creativity, intuition, travel, and the strange little moments that bring people into our lives.

Ellie shares her path from nursing to graphic design, and how she slowly realized that art wasn’t just something on the side, it was something she needed to make space for. We talk about the pull between structure and creativity, the magic of living in New York, and how travel teaches you to trust yourself and follow what feels alive.

Together, we explore the butterfly effect of small decisions, the beauty of chosen paths, and how even heartbreak can become the doorway into something unexpectedly meaningful.

Highlights:

• The butterfly effect of heartbreak, chance meetings, and shared lore.
• Ellie’s shift from nursing into graphic design and creative work.
• Why structure can help creativity flow more freely.
• Travel, intuition, and learning to trust your own path.
• New York as a place of possibility, connection, and reinvention.

About Guest:

Ellie Eisenberg is a graphic designer and lover of creativity who recently moved to NYC. She loves to travel and create and deep down is convinced that her purpose in this life is to chat, play, and enjoy the company of everyone she meets along the way!

Fairy Tea is produced by Six-Two Studio.

____

Fairy Tea is a deeply personal podcast where I share the raw, honest messiness of life, exploring how to break free from societal expectations and follow the heart’s calling. Blending storytelling, spirituality, folklore, and self-discovery, Fairy Tea is both magical and real, whimsical yet grounded. It’s a space to embrace uncertainty, face challenges without fear, and stay curious about the possibilities ahead. Through my experiences, I invite listeners to see that a new way of living is possible — one that is intuitive, soulful, and uniquely their own.

Instagram: @fairytea.podcast or @akayourfairygodmother
Email: akayourfairygodmother@gmail.com

Transcript

Sophie (00:00.414) more and more I'm seeing like you always need a structure that kinda like holds the space for the invisible, for the creative. Because if you don't have the structure it just like it's just free floating anywhere.

Ellie (00:14.478) Yeah, and it's hard to get yourself to just like sit down and create un unless you make the time. Yeah. Unless you force yourself to do it. 'Cause no one else is gonna force you to do it.

Sophie (00:24.364) So exactly. And so this, for example, is like such a ideal scenario for me because it's just like I'm so glad I got this container that I had to build this very clear structure around it. And now it like flows so well. But it's like it it really feels like bringing the two worlds in a way. Similarly what you share, right? Like the like the math and the the logical and then the

The very creative, yeah, invisible kind of

Ellie (00:58.35) I feel like they sort of overlap often and people don't maybe notice or just see themselves in one or the other. Yeah. But it's sort of like, you know, it's hard when you like a lot of different things. When you're like, wait, I actually could see myself doing one thousand different things.

Sophie (01:01.922) Yeah, for sure.

Sophie (01:15.757) Yeah, you're

Sophie (01:22.282) It's such a particular struggle. Yeah, I agree. Welcome to Fairy Tea, where we sip on the thorough wisdom of the fairy realm and uncover its ancient secrets for healing, pleasure, and rest. I'm your host Sophie, here to sprinkle a little enchantment into your everyday life. Think of this as one great unfolding experiment. An invitation to dance with magic.

Trust the unseen and let curiosity lead the way.

Sophie (02:01.336) Well, I'm so happy to have you here. I'm also happy to see you again. We should schedule something.

Ellie (02:03.67) here. Thanks for having me.

Ellie (02:08.655) Literally get get it on the schedule because then I ca then I will go and I will

Sophie (02:12.468) I wanna be in the schedule. I wanna be included.

Ellie (02:15.918) Get me in the schedule. I'm going to Chicago this weekend, but then I'll be back.

Sophie (02:21.558) Nice. What are you gonna do in Chicago?

Ellie (02:23.51) It's gonna be so it's St. Patrick's Day. and Chicago has like taken over Saint Patrick's Day for the US. I don't know why. Yeah. by the whole Rivergreen. They

Sophie (02:31.822) Please teach me. Sweet culture. They have no idea.

I've heard

Ellie (02:38.966) of that yeah and so I grew up in like outside of Chicago, same as Sydney, but it was more of like, you know, you bar crawl and stuff. So I wasn't old enough for that. And so I've never seen the ri River Green. And now I'm going.

Sophie (02:51.694) It's time. Do you still have family there?

Ellie (02:57.388) I have cousins that live there, but I'm going to visit my like college friends and yeah. And hometown friends and whoever else is around. Absolutely.

Sophie (03:00.974) Okay, cool.

Sophie (03:05.646) I'm actually going to Chicago too. But in April. nice. End of April. Yeah, I I cannot like hang around the US for so long and not see Sydney. Yeah. It would be wrong. It would be wrong. It would be wrong. Yeah. And I need like very energy. I'm craving it.

Ellie (03:21.867) Yeah. The energy. Yeah. Someone just spark it in you.

Sophie (03:28.006) She's really good at that. So how we do this. Obviously I wanna introduce you to the podcast. Okay. But I don't wanna do this in like the normal way of like you do this, you do that. But I more so wanna like share our shared lore. Okay. Because whenever you know a person, there's you know, you have a lore together. Yeah. And I feel like our lore is it's like so funny. Yeah. So it has to be told, of course. And through that,

you know, we'll get to all the other aspects. So feel free to chime in at any point. But yeah, I met you and like the podcast keeps going back to that heartbreak that I had last summer. Cause in a way, like all of this kind of like sprouted from that.

Ellie (04:01.486) Okay.

Ellie (04:13.506) Yeah, it was the culmination of of all the sad stuff to get to the

Sophie (04:18.839) Tully. It was like the darkness before the light. so I had this breakup and then I was sort of not stuck in New York City, but I was very much alone in for three weeks in New York City and I wasn't expecting that, right? Which normally wouldn't disturb me as much, but particularly because I my heart was so sore, I was like, my God, I need to find some company, like for the love of God. And so

The podcast kind of already knows Sydney because we did three episodes together. So I was on this road trip with Sydney. And on the road trip, we met your lovely parents. Your lovely parents. I love them so parents of all parents. The parents of all parents. I call them the parents of all parents.

Ellie (04:56.385) My lovely parents.

Ellie (05:02.158) I mean truly. They sent me a video last night of like singing to each other across the dinner table and I was like, all right, you guys, you're gonna have to stop that.

Sophie (05:11.764) They're they're just they're goals on all levels. They're fantastic people. Yeah. They I mean they not only they're family friends of my friend that I was on the road trip with, but they not only took her in, they took me in as if I was a family friend as well. They've never seen you before. And they were the sweetest and I had such a blast. And I just I remembered they told me that their daughter, you, mm-hmm, lives in New York City. Yes.

Ellie (05:15.022) Yeah, they're good people.

Sophie (05:40.118) And I was just like when I remembered that, I was like, okay, if their daughter is a fraction as cool as them, I know I will love her.

Ellie (05:50.124) Yeah. And I hope I'm a fraction. I hope I'm like an eighth.

Sophie (05:53.686) You're you're I mean, I think I told you this the first time that we met. I was like, You're so the combination of them. Like I can see both of them in you. So

Ellie (06:03.362) They both I I hope to like pull the best things from both.

Sophie (06:07.432) I think you do. I think you do. No, I mean we met we met and you were lovely enough to help me out. Help help a starving sister out. and we met for a drink and I feel like it was so easy. I mean obviously we had like shared like you knew I knew Sydney and and everything, but it was just sometimes it's just is so easy. Like I feel like I remember you know what I remember distinctly? You had in your bag, you had this

Ellie (06:15.736) But of course.

Sophie (06:36.47) like fairy novel. Like the entertainment. I was like, okay, we're gonna get along. No, we're this is gonna work. Yeah.

Ellie (06:46.926) That's so funny. Yeah. yeah. And I'm still reading th those series because they're so long. I remember it. I was like, my God, I have to go to this happy hour after work. my gosh, it's I gotta rush there or whatever. I got there and then I met you. And I was like, well, thank God I came. This is so fun. And then we had such like, like you said, an easy conversation. I felt

Sophie (06:53.014) How do you remember a fruit?

Ellie (07:16.864) A very because you know, I've met a lot of people in New York, but I feel like I haven't broken into the art scene in the way that I wanted want to yet. And you felt like a very open presence and someone who would bring a lot of, you know, fairy dust into my life and art. And it felt like you were really good at navigating new people and meeting new people. And I was like, whoa.

I feel like she could gather such a fun crew and I can't wait to watch it. And then we sort of just bonded over our like boy drama, which was great. And we we sort of just like skipped over the the like normal like fuck that. And we jumped right in. And then it was such a random night because my roommate Lily was out with her co-worker, she was out with her coworkers and then met up with like friends she hadn't seen in years.

Sophie (08:01.23) Just shallow.

Ellie (08:16.33) And we happened to be nearby and so we all met up and sat at our little tiny plastic tables outside and chatted and it felt very human. It felt very just like connected and easy.

Sophie (08:32.152) Yeah. Yeah, it was so effortless. Yeah. Everyone

Ellie (08:34.795) With everyone there. It was cool and it felt like just good energy all around.

Sophie (08:40.014) Totally, I agree. It was also one of those like super warm nights. Yes. Just don't want to go home ever. And it feels like yeah, if you're work the next day. What is work? Who is work? Yeah, so funny. So funny how we met and I'm so glad we did. Me too. It just goes to show, you know, first off, butterfly effect, obviously. Like all these kind of small things had to add up so we were able to meet. Yeah.

Ellie (08:49.472) Not even thinking about who is work.

Sophie (09:09.858) But also it just goes to show that like the things that hurt the most are not necessarily the bat things. It's just yeah, it hurts and yeah, it was horrible and yeah, I'm still kind of recovering from that. But all the things that came from that, I wouldn't miss them for for the world. So

Ellie (09:27.374) It's sort of like, you know, I I'm a big proponent of everything happens for a reason. Same. And, you know, that there's that the question of life of like if you could experience human life with all of the really high highs and really low lows, would you rather do that? Or would you rather just sort of live like a life of Yeah. And and I think

Sophie (09:49.386) Mediocre. Tell me.

Ellie (09:54.008) Part of being a human is like the shitty parts, is the is the bad parts and then it makes you grateful for for the good parts.

Sophie (10:02.218) Agree. I agree. I think it it's very much like you can look at it like shadow and light, but you can also look at it like one wing of the butterfly and the other wing of the butterfly. You kinda like need both. Yeah.

Ellie (10:15.522) You need both in order to even like I don't know, the winter it's so cold, but it makes you so excited for the summer and and the first day, like this weekend, the first day it was warm, everyone was outside and everyone was taking advantage of it. And it makes you grateful for the good

Sophie (10:29.23) So it's what it's it's true. It really is true.

Ellie (10:35.766) How was your time home? Was it did it feel like a reset necessary?

Sophie (10:38.106) Did it feel it was good. It was it was the exact right time. So I don't think I've told you this, but earlier in the year I thought maybe I was I would just go back around September-ish. And then I felt like this internal voice that said, No, it's too early. And then I rescheduled it and I only went home in the beginning of December. And I felt

Absolutely perfect. It felt so aligned and I'm so glad I listened to it. It's crazy, right? 'Cause we can all relate to this in a way, but then whenever we actually have to listen to it or like

Ellie (11:12.334) But

Ellie (11:23.018) Yeah, we're like, Wait Actually working.

Sophie (11:25.602) Is this I or am I making this up in my life? Being am I being cuckoo lady? And there's elements of that always. Of course. Of course. Which leads me to something very obvious. I like to point it out when I think of it. I don't remember it every time with everyone, but like I think it's so obvious and so simple and yet pretty stunning that like everything in your entire life

Ellie (11:29.198) Crazy.

Sophie (11:55.304) Every little tiny decision throughout the something 20 years. Yeah. Have led up to this very moment. Yeah. And everything in my life in my almost 32 years has led up to this very moment. Yeah. And it's pretty simple and pretty complex at this time. It's like so

Ellie (12:05.678) Crazy This very moment right now.

Ellie (12:20.27) Profound but also like like their face. Yeah. But it it is true. Like all of your decisions, big and small, have effect on, you know, just like even saying hi to someone and then you strike up a conversation and and more to come or not.

Sophie (12:23.79) Of course.

Sophie (12:40.142) Surely I mean you saw me talking to the guy. Yeah. Like I just met him in front of the in front of the elevator. I was like, Hey, what are you like carrying around? And then we started a conversation from that. Which probably will not lead anywhere, but like it

Ellie (12:55.822) Yeah, but maybe you'll see him around or maybe

Sophie (12:58.198) He's moving it. No. But but no, but like the the what you're saying is absolutely correct. It's like you never know. Yeah. You never know what kind of like butterfly stroke bleeds forever. And like to me, that is just so beautifully like the butterfly effect of tiny things come together. And it's I mean, the odds of you and I being in the same room is absolutely

Ellie (13:28.012) No, like when we were born our paths were not probably like destined to cross one of the

Sophie (13:32.648) Not remotely related. I mean, I have a really crazy story. Yeah, tell. It's unrelated to you and I, but it's it's a beautiful metaphor. And it's it's it's in a similar way and I were not supposed to meet. Yeah. Then, you know, it still happened. But I have this friend. No, let me tell the story differently. I was at a dinner of my landlord a week ago. he does he does these private dinners and we kinda like

Ellie (13:56.302) Okay.

Sophie (14:02.488) Have like this very cute deal that I eat for free and I take photos of the evening and I give the photos to him. So I don't gain anything and he doesn't gain anything, but somehow we both win. Yeah. So it's really beautiful. And it's it's very nice for me as well because it's like I like there's always like a lot of interesting people. A lot like different artists and whatever. And it's it's really cool. And he's kinda like institutionalized in in New York a little bit, like as in his early forties.

Ellie (14:30.562) Yeah.

Sophie (14:31.906) So it's really, really nice. Yeah. And the and the place where he he does it at his studio. So he's a potter. Mm-hmm. And he does like the studio space is so beautiful. So it's like really, really cool. So the other day he did it again. I was there. And I was taking photos. I was just I was being rela like I was not thinking much. And then like this woman approaches me from the side and I was like, Sophie? And I like look at her. I'm like, Hello? Like my my brain wasn't computing. I was like, who are you?

And she's like, I'm Emma, I'm Eleanor's sister. And I like, wait, am I I was blown out of my mind. So Eleanor, her sister, I met in Switzerland 11 years ago. No way. Yeah, in Basel during Art Basel. And we had like this crazy, frantic, bonding moment, and she was with a friend, and I was with a friend, and we

All four of us went to Munich for a weekend. It was like

Ellie (15:35.84) It was like s a fun spontaneous sort of that's crazy.

Sophie (15:40.758) Raised Wild Story.

Ellie (15:42.967) my God. And the fact that she recognized you even

Sophie (15:45.528) So a year later, a year after that, in in two thousand sixteen, I went to visit Eleanor in San Francisco. Okay. And Eleanor was living with her sister Emma. Okay. And that Emma stood in front of me at a random private dinner of sixteen people in Greenpoint, New York.

Ellie (16:09.334) Hell. That's crazy. That's insane. You were got you were were you just like, what is going on?

Sophie (16:12.386) That's absolutely bomb.

Sophie (16:20.398) All of us were like, how can this even be true? Like

Ellie (16:25.464) That's crazy. That's so that's literally like the smallest world I've ever heard.

Ellie (16:36.184) No, and on the other side of the country

Sophie (16:38.376) On the other side of the country. And even if it you know, if it even if we have met in New York, right, it would have been

Ellie (16:45.826) The chances are so slim. That's so crazy. That's wild. Damn. The universe for you.

Sophie (16:47.83) So slim.

Sophie (16:53.45) I know. And we I mean, first off I was like, cool, I have more friends in the city than I thought. and we were obviously we're we're gonna catch up and do this. but it was just cool.

Ellie (17:05.922) Yeah.

Ellie (17:11.0) Like that is so that's so cool. And it like makes you almost feel like you're doing the right thing, you know? whatever that you are in the right place. You're meeting the right people. I love when my friends like meet friends of friends elsewhere. And I'm like, I have good friends, you know, like my friends found each other because we're all good people.

Sophie (17:18.197) Are you

Yeah.

Sophie (17:35.382) It is true and I think in that sense I I do believe that people like kinda vibe on certain frequencies and probably like finding people that kinda like are on similar frequencies to you is probably not as the odds are probably not the same as you would just calculate it mathematically, like just in terms of like population. And then obviously there's like background and whatever interests and yeah. Of course still.

Ellie (17:56.696) Totally.

Ellie (18:03.234) Yeah. Still, it's so wild. That's insane. That's a crazy little That's so cool. Wait, I wanna hear more about this guy who throws dinners.

Sophie (18:07.815) meet cubes.

Sophie (18:16.536) Yeah, he's my landlord. He used to have this coffee place and w that was also a record store. and he kinda like just used it as his like like creative studio. Cause he was like, at some point he was like, I'm fed up with coffee. I'm not gonna start he was a coffee place. Yeah. And he was just like he's like and and people kind of like went along with it. Which is so cool. You know, he's like he like he's just

Ellie (18:34.51) I'm good.

It's awesome.

Sophie (18:43.552) I I love when people are so contrarian that they're like, yeah, you know, they can create a lot. Yeah, and they can create their own universe where it's okay to be the way they want to be. Yeah. Because that I believe is what we need. Totally. As opposed to like always say, the world wants this from me, the world wants that for me. Well, you just have to be bold enough to do it differently. And like it'll like things will wrap around you eventually. Maybe not the way you would like to, maybe not the way you imagine it, but

Ellie (18:46.606) They can do whatever they're

Sophie (19:13.844) You can bend the world in that way. I do believe that that works. I'm glad we're on the same page. I agree. Completely. but he has a beautiful house. I feel very, very comfortable there. And yeah, he does those dinners. They're they're open to to everyone and they really don't cost much. Okay. They they cost like sixty dollars for like we had like four courses.

Ellie (19:17.346) I think so too.

Ellie (19:37.45) my god. Wait, I'm gonna go. Yeah.

Ellie (19:43.272) It sounds like an experience. Sounds like worth the money.

Sophie (19:45.77) Yeah, no, worthful. It is. But I wanna know about I mean, I know you you are a graphic designer. I know you're very like I've which is so weird, right? I've been your I mean, not at your childhood home. You did grow up there, but I I was at your parents and all your parents shared about your interest. Like I've known so much about your interest. Yeah, I knew so much about like your your you're very artistic as well. You you have like

Ellie (20:08.364) Me before no.

Sophie (20:15.724) You tr you experimented with a lot of different mediums. So you're like super interested in in a lot of things. And I saw a lot of like do you n did I tell you the funny story about the baguette lamp? that my God, it's so funny. So one day Sydney comes out 'cause Sydney was sleeping in your dad's office. Yeah. Yeah. And so she comes out and she felt very uncomfortable. I was like, What's wrong? And she was like

Ellie (20:28.878) I got no, but did you see it?

Sophie (20:44.662) She was asking your dad. She was like, I'm not sure whether something in my in my room should be there. my god. And your dad was so scared that it was kinda like he's like underwear or something. Like empty and he was like, Okay

Ellie (20:58.35) Like I'm so sorry, what's in there?

Sophie (21:00.95) And it was like, Where it could be and she Sydney felt so uncomfortable. She was like, I don't know. I'm I'm not sure whether I'm And so they go into the study together and it turns out s she thought it was an actual baguette. And she and it was just laying there. She was like

Ellie (21:14.67) Yeah.

Like, are you missing something for dinner, perhaps? That's so funny.

Sophie (21:23.736) But you made this you made this really, really cool baguette lamp which literally looks I mean it must be

Ellie (21:31.202) It's it's real bread. Yeah. I put it in resin. Wow. I well I there's like resin that you can sort of paint onto it. So I I like scooped it all out, I let it air dry for a day, and then I like painted over it, let it dry, painted over it until it was basically felt like rubber. Yeah. And then I put lights inside of it.

Sophie (21:53.954) That's so funny. It is so fun. It is so cool. I feel like

Ellie (21:58.862) It was awesome. And my dad's for those who don't know, my dad's obsessed with all things bread. So

Sophie (22:05.558) Okay, so there's another language that I didn't even know.

Ellie (22:09.176) Yeah, that's a problem. He has to cut himself off of bread.

Sophie (22:12.542) I hate when that happens. It's the worst. Red is so good. So good. It's not good for you. But it's the soul. It's good for the soul, I agree. But yeah, I would love to know if there, you know, are any like butterfly moments, special moments that kind of like let you on this path. Or have you always felt very connected to creating activity?

Ellie (22:19.8) Good.

Ellie (22:40.91) I think I've always I mean my mom is a photographer. I know so there's always been art in my life. and her side of the family is just values art, which is really cool. And I'm very lucky for that because I feel like, you know, some people are artistic and their families are like, What? Sure. so I've always had that, but you know, there was this pressure to do not by my parents, but by like my own

Sophie (23:00.542) Up.

Ellie (23:10.7) brain to do, you know, STEM or like something math or science or, you know, women in STEM was on such an up that it felt like wrong not to do it. Like it everyone was like, yeah, be a woman in STEM. And I was like, yes, let's do it. Sure. And so my high school actually had like all these really cool electives because I had a huge high school and we had like a film program.

Sophie (23:23.899) It felt

Ellie (23:39.934) And T V and radio and I was like, let me do AP physics. Like, what what am I thinking? So I did photography and AP physics. And that was my life like to a T. I loved I loved science and math, but I also like loved being creative. And I every chance that I got I did creative projects or

Sophie (23:50.279) What about

Ellie (24:04.886) in my room would draw random things. I had a bucket of Sharpies, so it would just like doodle on paper. But I sort of was like, I can't really make a career out of art. I don't really think I can. I don't I it never seemed like a real option. So I went to college and I just like chose nursing because nursing was a combo of like the science world and then talking to people and humanity and it felt

Felt like a good, happy medium. And I went to pick my classes my freshman year. And I was like, hey, I asked the woman who was like helping me pick out my classes, I was like, Can I minor in graphic design just for fun? And she was like, Why? And I was like, I knowing myself, I am not gonna make art unless there's like a specific time that I have to. Yeah. Cause I'm gonna get busy and I'm gonna.

Sophie (24:51.476) Ha ha ha.

Ellie (25:03.168) not want to do it and then whatever. So she was like, yeah, sure. so I ended up minoring in graphic design. And it was I found myself working on my graphic design projects for hours and hours and hours and memorizing the anatomy of the body was the bane of my existence. So I applied you have to apply into the nursing school your second year.

Okay. So I was in pre nursing doing all the like chem anatomy, physiology, all those classes. We apply, it's COVID. Interviews are over the phone and they were like, Why do you want to be a nurse? And I was like

Sophie (25:45.526) I don't even know.

Ellie (25:46.668) Don't really know. I don't really care. And so therefore I didn't get in. And I found out when I got off the plane, it was May, so I was leaving school and flying directly to my cousin's wedding. I got off the plane, got the email that I didn't get in, and had to go to my cousin's reception or wedding rehearsal dinner, where my whole family was like, How's nursing school? How's nursing school? And I was like,

So I had a freak out. And then I sort of had a full regroup that was necessary. That was like, why do I want it? Why am I doing nursing? Why am I not doing art? And my parents were both like, Why aren't you doing art? And I was like, great question. So I switched my major to graphic design. And I

Sophie (26:16.955) Ellie (26:42.85) was beyond happy. I got to create stuff all the time. I found neon sign making, which was so fun, which I want to get into here. That's cool. But yeah, creating has always been like there. But I need to give her some love.

Sophie (27:00.704) It's so funny, like I I obviously like my background is like like I came from law and it was always something that was very present and even as a law student I would always give like art student. Which I thought in of itself was kinda like an artistic decision to do law because I liked that people kinda like were like

Ellie (27:19.694) What yeah, like what are you doing?

Sophie (27:21.432) Like they couldn't just put it together. But more and more I'm seeing like you always need a structure that kind of like holds the space for the invisible, for the creative. Because if you don't have the structure, it just like it's just free floating anywhere. Yeah.

Ellie (27:23.682) Yeah.

Ellie (27:40.056) And it's hard to get yourself to just like sit down and create un unless you make the time. Yeah. Unless you force yourself to do it. 'Cause no one else is gonna force you to do it. So

Sophie (27:49.846) Exactly. And so this, for example, is like such a ideal scenario for me because it's just like I'm so glad I got this container that I had to build this very clear structure around it. And now it like flows so well. But it's like it it really feels like ringing the two worlds in a way similarly what you share, right? Like the like the math and the the logical and then the

The very creative, yeah, invisible kind of

Ellie (28:23.43) I feel like they sort of overlap oftentimes. Yeah. And people don't maybe notice or just see themselves in one or the other. Yeah. But it's sort of like, you know, it's hard when you like a lot of different things. When when you're like, wait, I actually could see myself doing one thousand different things.

Sophie (28:27.736) For sure.

Sophie (28:32.325) Sophie (28:41.186) You're

Sophie (28:47.53) It's such a particular struggle. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Definite. my God. Like I

I always say I feel like I'm an entire universe. You know, there lives an universe in my inside my chest. Like how am I supposed to reach down to like one thing and then call this my job? This is against everything that lives inside of me.

Ellie (29:12.107) Lily and I talk about how we wanna like change our job every two years. And we're like, why can't we just like do do something?

Sophie (29:16.686) I know.

Sophie (29:22.026) I know. Why can't you? I mean.

Ellie (29:24.482) To keep learning.

Sophie (29:26.702) Kind of that's literally what it yeah. But I had to like I grew into this as well, right? Yeah. I I I thought for a while I would just be a lawyer, but then I was like, there's no fucking no fucking way. And another thing that we share is that we both kind of like felt this calling to come to New York. so I'm like curious how that call been for you.

Ellie (29:28.258) That's perfect.

Ellie (29:37.742) No

Ellie (29:48.451) Totally.

Ellie (29:52.706) Yeah. Yeah. I well it's funny. I feel like so many the cool part about being here is so many other people also felt that way. Yeah. And so it's a lot of excited.

Sophie (30:04.206) people. I mean there's definitely like a vortex code. It's like it's insane.

Ellie (30:06.308) my gosh. Yeah. I think I felt it. I was sort of lost. I so I was traveling for a while, obviously, and I got injured and I was at home. And I was at home for like four months. And I was sort of like, I love my parents so much, but I don't feel like a real person when I'm living at home. I revert back to being like an angsty teen. So not really.

Sophie (30:34.446) Like you know, no, they're not

Ellie (30:36.118) But like you don't have the same freedoms. Of course. You're just like, I'm not I wasn't trying to like make friends where my parents were living. It was after college, after living in Vietnam. right. And then so I had had all this freedom. I'd been traveling the world and I wanted somewhere that was still international and like filled that itch for me. But

Sophie (30:44.268) That was after college.

Ellie (31:05.43) I felt like I was missing out on a lot of my friends and family's lives the past year and a half. And, you know, you only have so much time to connect with people and like people that I love. So I was like, how cool would it be if I still live somewhere international but could get on a flight and get anywhere? And then I came to New York. It just so happened twice over the holidays. And I was sitting on the subway and I was looking around like

classic cliche, but people were reading their books, people were screaming, people were listening to music, people were all in their own little worlds. And it felt so homey. It felt like exactly what I needed as my next step because there were so many avenues in this one subway car. And I sort of put the feelers out into the universe. I was like, what if I moved to New York? I'd never talked about moving to New York.

I'd never like really considered it. And I threw it out into the universe. And then I threw it out to Lily, my now roommate. And she had come along the same struggle of she just got her master's in London and she lived in Singapore for a while. So we were very similar on our travel bug, yearn for adventure, love meeting people, love international.

conversations and all that kind of stuff. And and I was like, Lily, what if we both moved to New York together and we got to live with our best friend? That'd be kind of cool. And we were both like, yeah, but we're not gonna get jobs. Like it's so hard to get a shirt together. And literally the month we were looking for apartments. And the month before we found an apartment, both of us got jobs.

Sophie (33:03.081) Wild.

Ellie (33:03.918) And we came here for two days to look for an apartment and we found an apartment and we were like, This is happening. Like this is actually happening. And now we've been here for almost a year. Which is wild. Yeah. It was meant to be.

Sophie (33:14.111) And that's how you know. It was really meant to be here. Which is so beautiful. I'm so happy that these eyes are here.

Ellie (33:23.704) Yeah. Yeah, me too. And we we met freshman year of college. We were freshman year roommates, which is we we've like grown up we've like seen each other through all these different stages.

Sophie (33:29.628) Aww.

Almost.

Sophie (33:37.006) And I mean this is like childhood dreams. Right. To like literally best friend in New York.

Ellie (33:42.476) Yeah, we were like, wait, what? This is so fun. Yeah. We come home and we often we go out and we're like, why do we have the best time when we just go out and like chat to people all night and then come back and like debrief, you know? It's great. It's just it's so fun. Living the dream, am I? It's crazy. So are you? You're living the dream.

Sophie (33:59.584) It's literally the dream. Dream. You're living the dream.

Sophie (34:05.742) I'm living the my god, like I I mean I call myself a lucky duck every day. Yeah, because I'm just like, wait, what? I get to talk to people about the butterfly and metamorphosis and like hear about people's journey. And to me, like every every story is so unique and like learning the ins and outs, but not even like the story in and of itself, but like the energetics behind it and like every

Even though I structure those conversations pretty much the same all the time, it's like they're so unique. Mm-hmm. And like every person to me is like a little piece of art. Their own energetics, their own peculiarities. Yeah. Some I f I have a few words for the love of God. I can't do it. I can't do it. Some of them are really yeah.

Ellie (34:57.676) Yeah, do it. It's hard.

Ellie (35:03.102) This is weird too.

Sophie (35:03.958) English is such a weird language. It's crazy. But it's funny. I also love learning more and more and more. And just also culturally, it's just so cool to I mean, I'm with you on the whole like traveling and meeting people, expanding your horiz.

Ellie (35:20.12) my god. Yes. I feel like everyone needs to leave their bubble at least once in their life. Like you can always go back, you know, you can always go home. But you should you should move once. Yeah, it's and then you're gonna wanna keep doing

Sophie (35:29.216) Sophie (35:32.566) at least. And then from there there's really no way back. And then I mean I started three months. Yeah. I started pretty late. I was I was almost turning thirty. Yeah. I was twenty nine. And I interestingly enough, before that I traveled a little bit with my ex boyfriend. But we split up when I was twenty six and I always thought well there was COVID as well, obviously. And I didn't have

Ellie (35:39.83) How do we go back?

Sophie (36:02.274) that much funds. But I always thought, well, I'm I'm gonna travel once I have a partner again, which yeah. Come on. what in what year do you live? What's going on? And I and and it was funny. It was from one day to another that kind of like restrained kind of dropped. I was like fuck am I waiting

Ellie (36:09.826) You're like, do it yourself.

Ellie (36:24.142) Why am I waiting? Yeah, why who am I waiting for?

Sophie (36:26.198) Yeah, really. Literally. Yeah. Who am I waiting for? If I want to travel, I have to do it now. Yeah. And then I started three months and it was just gonna be this three months trip and I would go back and well, I never really how the world becomes so small in a way. You feel like that as well?

Ellie (36:51.414) It does. Yes. And it's so cool because like I I feel like I could go anywhere in the world and like have a place to stay. Yeah. I mean not anywhere yet. There's lots of places I haven't been, but but people that are connected with other people and now that I've put myself out there, there's this web of of travelers and like working at a hostel, I met so many people and yeah, it makes the world s less scary.

Sophie (37:18.026) Yeah. Totally. my god. Yeah. One hundred percent. Especially for a woman traveling alone. I feel like initially you're also with I don't know whether that happened to you too, but for me in the beginning, I was you know, I was like, Am I delusional for doing this? Or is my is my family right? That they're like so worried. But then I felt like I was carrying all those worries that weren't even mine but theirs. But then I also was like, What if I die in like two days? And they're like

In in on the inside they're like, I told you so and Yeah. Like having to deal with all of that was

Ellie (37:53.408) It's it's definitely hard to 'cause like you know, it's not the norm, especially in the US. Like it's not the norm. Sure. Unfortunately. And so like I had to sort of convince all my friends that like it's not that scary. And how do you convince them without them doing it themselves? And so people who haven't, it's almost it's like a block that we're never gonna be able to connect on, which is weird because this there's this whole life that you've lived and they just won't.

understand it because they they are too afraid to to go or don't want to. Yeah. Maybe not even afraid, just don't have interest in it.

Sophie (38:31.318) No, for sure. I mean, I I I definitely share that to an extent. Yeah. But I do feel like I mean, what you said about the the web resonates so he 'cause I literally feel like I'm like I have this like web that like kind of like spins around the world. Where like one thing I mean, just what I shared earlier. I didn't even finish the story. So the Emma and Eleanor, yeah, the two girls that I met in San Francisco.

They're the cousins of my Lane Board's girlfriend.

Ellie (39:05.944) Gosh.

Sophie (39:06.936) So it I mean it is in a way it's true, you know, seven people and you kinda like know the entire world. Yeah. That to me became very, very real.

Ellie (39:15.342) It's so funny. We were just talking about that this weekend. We were like, in the US, do you think that you could you could do it like with three people extended from yourself? What's what's the what's it called? Six people removed or whatever. Like, do you think that you can connect to someone in Texas on a farm in three people just because we're in the same country? Yeah, I don't know.

Sophie (39:42.872) Probably. I feel like everyone has like a Yeah. Yeah. Or like second degree to trip. Even I know people from Texas. Weirdly enough. Weirdly enough. It's never been. I wanna go though. You were? right, I saw it. How does that

Ellie (39:46.252) Like

Gas station or something.

Ellie (39:56.952) Yeah.

Ellie (40:02.648) I was just there.

Ellie (40:06.994) It was so fun. That was one of those things that felt like so adult silliness. Like we can just do silly things if we want to. And my college roommate, she lives in Austin, Texas, and her roommate was like, I wanna have a party with all my friends and no one's getting married, so I'm gonna throw and she threw a prom and

They sort of threw it out as a joke and then it became very real. So cool. And we all flew in and it was like all of our college friends and the weekend we just like it was one of those weekends where you're just literally laughing the whole time, being dumb. We had there was a DJ and like photo booth and she rocked it. There was a bartender. It was crazy. Good. But it was just, it was just good. And like if you wanna throw a dance.

Sophie (40:53.283) So

Ellie (40:59.01) Throw a dance. Just throw a dance. Throw it in.

Sophie (41:02.346) I think that's a really good segue because what really stands out to me about you, obviously I don't know you that well, but like the energetics that I perceive, like you glow everywhere you go. I feel like you have such a beautiful rad you're such a radiant being. Everywhere you go, you kinda like have this presence, which I admire first and foremost. It's so

powerful and it's so brave also because I feel like a lot of people just like live inwardly, you know. Yeah. and I just wanna like I'm so curious, like how do you

Ellie (41:42.06) this. my gosh. Well thank you first of all. I think it's like, you know, it takes work. It's like you grow up, I grew up in a very like normal suburban town. And I feel like I always gravitated. I I always like wanted to was walking my own path but was like a little afraid to do so then because I wanted to fit in in that way. And then I

Sort of same with college, but then I found people who fully loved my weird being and honestly living with six girls in a house, I feel like that brought just who I am to the surface. And it was the first time that like I was really honest with people and they were really honest with me and we like shared our biggest fears. And then the fears are not so bad.

Sophie (42:41.127) And then bless you women. Yeah, bless the

Ellie (42:43.764) women because you have people to confide in. And then I also like I give a lot of credit to my parents for being who they are and like shining the way that they do. And again traveling like yeah it was the first time in my life where I got to do things solely based on what I wanted to do. And I got to like create who I was and if people didn't like it, I'm traveling, who cares?

Totally. And so I sort of learned that it's okay to do that and to just like say your opinions or walk into a room and like be silly and dance and it draws in the people that you wanna surround yourself with. So if people think it's weird, then like they think it's weird and I don't want to be friends with them.

Sophie (43:27.926) One on every

Sophie (43:33.486) Yeah, they're not your your people and that's okay.

Ellie (43:36.022) Yeah, and that's okay. I think people pleasing was always a big issue for me. And then once I have gotten better, I mean it's still there a little bit, but like once you get rid of that, you just draw in the people that actually want to support you and like lift you up. And then in in the cycle of that, you become more vibrant in yourself and more and more throughout your life, I guess.

Sophie (44:02.54) Yeah, I mean it's a process. For sure. I think even like in traveling it's like it's a necessity almost. Yeah. Because what a lot of people don't understand, I I I'm curious whether you would agree. Like traveling really like schools your intuition. Like you connect to people you know nothing about. Right. Everything they tell you, they could tell you. Yeah, everyone constitutes themselves out of thin air.

Ellie (44:26.316) Right. Yeah.

Sophie (44:32.574) So you really have to trust your gut to other people. But that also like like once you kinda get the hang of it, it becomes really, really easy. Yeah. Like you know

Ellie (44:35.618) Totally.

Ellie (44:42.604) You can sense what's real and and when people are trying to be something that they're not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you also get so deep so fast with people when you're traveling. Because for some reason everyone's just like everyone's guard is down because it's it's not permanent, I guess. And I don't know, you just like

Sophie (45:01.678) Yes.

Ellie (45:05.55) Tell everyone your deep dark secrets and traumas and bond and you're both doing the same thing. So you already have like a basis in common. And then you yeah, you like gauge really fast. Yeah. These are your people, I guess.

Sophie (45:19.694) Sydney and I always talked about this because Sydney was traveling also a lot prior to us meeting. And how when you travel with someone, or like her and I, we took this trip, but we did l like a small trip in Colombia as well. It's like when two people come together and actually like do something together, you know that both really want this. So it's like this win win situation. Yeah. Because otherwise it's just not gonna happen. Right. Right. Why would you? Right.

Ellie (45:46.828) Why would you do it? Yeah. Yeah. For this person that you just met.

Sophie (45:49.454) And this is such good conditions to learn what you just shared, right? It's to l to to really just be you and trust your gut and and then it creates this wonderful magical life and then all of a sudden you're on a six week road trip with a person you already know and like one thing led to another and I'm in New York, you know.

Ellie (46:10.476) It's beautiful and you get to like you really do get to choose your own path. Like no one else is telling you what to do. Yeah. You get to decide if your life is fun and purposeful. Yeah. Cause no like no one else is keeping you accountable. So you gotta do it for yourself. Yeah. It's really cool.

Sophie (46:29.354) It's so cool. Yeah. Yeah, I think we're gonna lean towards the end. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. There's like one last thing that I wanna do with you, which which which is like the cro closing of the ritual, which is a little experiment. So I've shared with you the idea of this project and you know I'm trying to find out if you can connect to future parts of us or future parts of the collective. Because as a firm lawyer, I'm very interested in

Ellie (46:35.022) Yeah, I do have to venture home.

Sophie (46:57.902) How a collective organizes itself and how we can evolve from the current structures that seem to not, you know, hold us the way they used to and the way we they need. So I want you to kind of like tune into the world right now, but through your body. So what you feel in your body if you like.

Think of the world right now and not in terms of like what's wrong, what's bad, because that's all happening in your head, right? But like how does the current reality feel in your body? It's interesting.

Ellie (47:37.398) I think I I feel like there's a lot of scary stuff happening in the world. So it definitely deflates my body oftentimes when I find myself like scrolling for too long or, you know, pent up in my I work from home, so like pent up in my room for too long. I find myself deflated. And then instantly

when I am doing something either creative like this, even so simple drawing something or like out of my apartment, wandering through Central Park, looking at other people, around other people, I'm instantly like life is breathed back into my body. It's it feels I feel more confident. I feel more awake. I feel I don't know, just better.

Because I think the earth is so, you know, like our time here is so short that I feel most fulfilled when I'm around other people. And I need my recharge time, but like I think it's very important to have recharge time. But I think our purpose here is to experience things with people. And it makes yeah, I think that's what we're here for, what my body is here for at least.

Sophie (48:56.566) Mm.

Sophie (49:03.704) Sure. It's beautiful. And so the experimental part that I want to do is if we were to apply the symbol of the butterfly to the current state of the collective as a lens and perceive what you just described, you know, as the scary stuff and like what can become really heavy on the body as being in a state of chrysalis. And give it this structure kind of to understand it better.

Which really a state of crystallines is a state of disintegration, a state of reorganization, and that r very much applies to what we're going through right now, right? So assuming if you think about it, like the caterpillar before it becomes a butterfly, like the caterpillar already contains the information of the butterfly. It doesn't go into this mush soup with any with no idea and is like, my fucking God, what is happening? But it it actually that even is

backed up biologically. I'm not just like like talking fairy fairy logic here, girl logic. they date a caterpillar contains imaginal cells and they get activated through that state of chrysalis. And that's kind of like how the the butterfly gets built through those specific cells that are already in the caterpillar. And I believe similarly that we contain information about the future stored in our bodies.

We're just very much like in our heads a lot of the time. And and so when we try to think how the future's gonna look, we obviously there's we're not fortune tellers. So we're like, how is this gonna work? And then we we get in we freak out. Yeah, go go into despair or like romanticize the past, but it it kinda like takes away from the present moment also. So what I want you to do is to

kind of tune again, like tune into your body and like try to channel, if you can, to channel the state of a butterfly of the collective and how that would feel in your body, in contrast to what you just tuned into, like the current state, the chrysalis state. And whether you can feel it differently or whether something in your body shifts or changes.

Ellie (51:29.25) Yeah, I think like you were saying, being in the present moment is really hard to do because we're very heady beings. But when you take time to like really think about where you are and the possibilities, there's like the tinge of light and hope inside. And there's always that. There's always something to come. And so I think there's always like y you know

on theme, butterflies in your stomach to the next thing or to what it could be, what life could be, if you open your brain to the possibilities and if you open your energy to the possibilities. So I guess like feeling the cells in my body, what I want them to project is like an openness and feeling like I'm in the right spot right now. If that makes sense at all.

Sophie (52:26.062) Definitely, definitely. No, that's beautiful. So to close it all out, I have these little star posted, see? And I want you, so we're gonna do like the the flowers here, they represent the fairies because they're spirits. So we're gonna everyone who comes in like wishes things upon the fairies and like specifically those things that they feel.

Like in regards of the butterfly state, like those what would you just say? The light, the hope, the openness. So I want you to write them down so we can make wishes to the fairies and the fairies are gonna carry it into the universe. And I believe again that if you think that the butterfly is like the whole collective, we are the cells. So I'm trying to kind of I want to piece all those totally memories together and create a bigger picture. Yeah.

Ellie (53:03.561) Okay.

Ellie (53:22.606) Because we're more powerful together too. And I think manifesting, like people sometimes say manifesting is woo-woo, but I think like manifesting and praying and like all that stuff is the same. You're w you're wanting good ener I'm not religious at all, but I've finally like understood praying with manifesting and like how just putting good energy out and wishing for things can turn them into reality just by verbalizing it.

Sophie (53:24.92) Probably.

Sophie (53:48.598) Which is crazy. I mean to me, there's even like you can also look at it like very scientifically and even like cynically if you want to. Because life is always limited perception. You can never perceive everything that's happening all the time, always. You always perceive a fraction of what's going on. So naturally your life consists of your perception, right? Your perception, your your focus. Your life per consists of your focus.

If your focus is always on what you don't get, what you don't have, what is going wrong in your life, then obviously that is your life. But you can equally just focus on the things that are good, that are working out, that are signs that you're blessed. Right. And and then your life consists, it's the same life. Yeah. Same conditions, same circumstances. Yeah. But your perception and your reality is gonna shift entirely. So like

To me it's just it's just a no brainer. But you know.

Ellie (54:51.82) Yeah, but it's hard for some people. Like some people get so caught in the negatives, in the I don't know, like how life sucks. And like yeah, it can. It can be really shitty, but it can also be really cool.

Sophie (55:04.43) Yeah, and and how you can alchemize even like the shittiest again, like this project is such a such a testament to that. Yeah. Like the worst heartbreak, I was really at my lowest. Yeah. And I alchemized this into this beautiful project.

Sophie (55:28.812) If this episode stirred something in you, I'd love to hear about it. Send me a little whisper on Instagram at fairyt.podcast, or just write the words fairy wings in my DMs. That's how I'll know you were here.