Why Stress Is Making You Gain Weight and What Breaks the Stress and Weight Gain Cycle | 63

If you feel like you are doing everything right and still cannot lose the weight, this episode might be the missing piece. We are talking about stress. Not in a vague "self-care" way. In a real, biological, this is actually happening inside your body kind of way.

Because here is the truth. Stress is not just making you feel overwhelmed. It is making fat loss genuinely harder. And if you are a woman 40+, the connection between stress and your hormones and how it relates to weight loss and weight gain is even more important than most people realize.

In this episode of Weight Loss in Midlife, I am breaking down exactly what stress does inside your body, why chronic stress is a completely different beast than a bad day, and what actually helps you lose weight and what makes weight gain worse.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why cortisol is the reason you crave sugar and carbs at 4 pm, and it has nothing to do with willpower
• How chronic stress specifically drives belly fat in women over 40, and why it feels different from your 30s
• Why perimenopause and stress are a double whammy that most doctors never connect for you
• What happens in your brain during stress that makes emotional eating almost impossible to resist
• The three small action steps that actually lower cortisol so your body can start releasing fat

If you’re ready to stop the cycle and finally feel steady around food, book your Midlife Fat Loss Strategy Call HERE.

Let’s build something that actually holds up when life gets busy.

FREEBIE What to Eat After 40 for Fat Loss 

FREEBIE How to Set Your Macros

Join the Weight Loss in Midlife Facebook Community here.

And don’t forget to hit follow so you never miss a new episode when it drops. Thanks for being here. I’m always cheering you on.

Send me a message at hello@jenniferpeeke.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We're talking about stress and not in a fluffy take a bath and do some yoga kind of way. We are talking about what stress actually does inside your body, the real science, the stuff what explains why you can do everything right and still feel like you are spinning your wheels. Because I talk to women every single day who are working so hard. They're tracking, they're planning their meals, they're trying, they're working out, yet they still feel completely stuck. And a lot of time when I dig in with them, what is the missing piece? It's actually not the food. It is everything that is happening around the food. Stress is not just a mood problem, it is also a weight problem. And once you understand how they are connected, everything starts to make more sense to you. So if you have ever had a stressful week and feel like your progress goes sideways, this episode is for you. By the end of it, you're going to understand exactly what is happening in your body when life gets hard and you're going to feel a whole lot less like something is wrong with you. So put those earbuds in, take a deep breath, and let's prioritize the best version of you. Hey beautiful, and welcome to Weight Loss in Midlife, where we ditch the diet cycle and finally lose fat, build muscle, and feel confident again. I'm Jennifer, a certified women's coach who's been where you are, stuck in the all-or-nothing cycle, navigating midlife changes and wondering why what used to work doesn't anymore. After years of restriction and burnout, I found a better way. Built on macros, mindset, and muscles. Each week, I'll share the strategies to help you lose fat, boost your metabolism, and build lasting strength and confidence. Let's dive into today's episode. Hey beautiful, welcome back to the Weight Loss in Midlife podcast, the show for busy women in midlife who want to finally lose fat for good, feel confident, and have the energy to live their best life. I used to spend so much time thinking about food, like an embarrassing amount of time. What to eat, when to eat it, how much, what was the plan, what was I going to do differently starting Monday? I had done every version of every diet. I knew exactly what I should be doing, and I was completely stuck in this cycle that I could not get out of no matter what I tried. And what I finally eventually figured out is that it was never about the food. It was the way I was thinking about it. The shame, that all or nothing thinking that turned out one bad meal until a whole week of throwing everything away. None of the plans I ever tried touched on any of that. They just handed me more rules and sent me off to follow them until inevitably I just didn't. That is what the weight loss of midlife method does differently. It is a four-step private coaching program built on what I call the real framework. We rewire your brain so that all or nothing thinking stops running the show, eating that actually actually works for your real life, aligned action that fits your schedule and energy on your worst days, and lasting results that go so much deeper than the number on the scale. If any of what I said feels like describing you, this is your sign. Head to jenniferpeak.com coaching and book your strategy call today. We'll talk about where you are, what's been keeping you stuck, and what it looks like to actually solve it. The link is in the show notes. Again, it's jenniferpeak.com backslash coaching. I would love to get on a call with you. Okay, so let's get into the actual science. And I'm going to break this down in a way that hopefully makes complete sense to you. When you're stressed, your body releases two hormones, adrenaline and cortisol. You've probably heard of cortisol, it's often called as your stress hormone. And together, these two hormones do something that is really specific. They put your body into that flight or fight mode. Adrenaline goes first. This increases your heart rate. It boosts your blood pressure. It floods your body with energy. Think of it as that alarm going off that you have to get away from danger. And then the cortisol follows. Cortisol increases your blood sugar so your body has fuel to respond to that threat. It suppresses your digestion because digesting food is not the priority right now. It even suppresses your reproductive system temporarily. Your immune system gets dialed back because when you're running from danger, none of those things matter. It is the survival that matters. Now, this system is incredible. It's what kept humans alive for thousands of years. The problem is that your body cannot tell the difference between being chased by a predator and sitting in a meeting where your balls is piling more work onto your plate while your phone is blowing up and you have not eaten since 7 a.m. So your nervous system is at the same level of threat and it responds the same way every single time. So cortisol is spiking your blood sugar. It's slowing your digestion down. It's telling your brain we need energy and we need it fast. That is why you do not crave salads when you feel stressed out. Your brain is not looking for something light and balanced and healthy. It is looking for fast fuel, quick carbs, sugar, anything that's going to give it an immediate hit of comfort and energy. That 4 p.m. craving for something crunchy or sweet that hits out of nowhere. That is not a weakness. That is your cortisol doing exactly what it was designed to do. And here is something I really want you to hear because this is especially important for women in perimenopause and menopause. Cortisol also affects your estrogen and progestrogen. Here is how this works. So your adrenaline glands are responsible for making your stress hormones. But doing perimenopause, your adrenal glands also take over some of the estrogen production that your ovaries start to step back from. So your adrenal glands are being asked to do two jobs at once. And when they're cranking out cortisol because your life is stressful, they cannot also be producing adequate estrogen and progestrogen, which means chronic stress can make every single perimenopausal symptom worse. The hot flashes, the sleep problems, the mood swings, the weight gain around your middle, the brain fog, all of it gets turned up when your stress is high. So if you're a woman in your 40s and you feel like your body has changed and nothing works the way it used to, stress might be a bigger piece of that puzzle than anyone has ever told you. And once you understand that, that guilt starts to lift a little because you are not being weak. You are being human and your body is doing what's best just to protect you. Okay, so here's something I really need you to understand because there's a huge difference between being stressed for just a few hours over something and living in a state of constant low grade stress for months or even years. When you have a stressful day or a stressful moment, like a deadline, an argument, a tough moment, your cortisol goes up and then the stress passes. Cortisol comes back down, your body goes back to its normal state, your digestion resumes, your hormones rebalance, and that's how your system is supposed to work. That is called acute stress. It's short term. Your body handles it and then it recovers. But most women I work with are dealing, aren't dealing with just one bad day. They're dealing with a life that has felt relentless. Back-to-back obligations, caring for aging parents, raising teenagers, high pressure careers, the mental load that never goes away, even when you are technically supposed to be resting, never fully switching off. You're always on, always needed, always one more thing. That is chronic stress. And research shows that women are 30% more likely than men to experience chronic stress. 30%. So if you feel like stress hits you differently and harder than the people around you, it is not in your head. There is a real reason for that. And when cortisol stays elevated like this day after day, that affects your body and it's a completely different from that one-time stressful event. So chronic elevated cortisol tells your body to store fat and not just anywhere, specifically around your middle. Your body essentially is stockpiling fuel because it thinks it might need it to survive whenever the threat is happening. That belly weight that feels different from how it was in your 30s. That's chronic stress playing a major role in that. Cortisol also disrupts your hunger hormones. There is a hormone called ghrelin, which sends your hunger signals. When cortisol is chronically elevated, ghrelin gets dysregulated. You feel hungrier than you actually are. Not because you need more food, but because your body is desperately scanning for any source of relief and comfort from that chronic stress. And here's the part that breaks my heart a little because it's not fair. Chronic stress can actually increase some of really serious health issues. So it elevates blood pressure, blood sugar uh dysregulation, digestive problems like bloating and IBS, chronic fatigue, headaches, sleep problems, weakened immune systems. It wears on every system in your body. And the mental toll is so real. Chronic stress contributes to anxiety, to irritability, to that feeling of being completely overwhelmed and unable to cope with it, to the exhaustion that sleep does not fix, and to the brain fog that makes you feel like you just can't think straight. You cannot remember everything, you just can't keep it together. This is why the women who are doing all the things right can still feel completely stuck and like things are not working. It is not the food. It is your nervous system that the food is trying to calm down. And that is a completely different it's a completely different problem that needs a completely different solution. So now I want to talk to you about what actually happens in your brain when you're stressed because this is the part that explains so much. This is going to help you understand why you eat the entire bag of chips or the entire sleeve of cookies before you can even rationalize that the serving size was only two cookies. When you are in a high stress state, the rational, logical part of your brain actually dials back. Your prefrontal cortex, which is where your decision making lives, where your planning lives, where the part of you that knows what to eat and why it matters lives. That part has reduced activity when it is under stress. And the more emotional, reactive, survival-driven part of your brain, that is the part that takes over. So the part of you that knows what to do, the part is not running the show anymore, the part that just wants to feel better as fast as possible is the one running to sh the show, making the decisions. That is why you can stand in the kitchen knowing you are not hungry and still eat. That is why you can have every intention on staying on track and then have a stressful afternoon and watch it fly right out the window. That is not willpower. You literally cannot willpower your way through a brain that is in some kind of survival mode. That is not how your brain works. And research actually backs this up in a really interesting way. Studies show that women are more likely than men to turn to food when they are stressed. So not only are we more likely to experience chronic stress, we are also more biologically wired to cope with it through eating. And there is actually a reason for that. Comfort food works in the short term. Foods high in fat and sugar have a real feedback effect on the brain. They temporarily lower your cortisol. They send a signal that says the threat has passed, but they calm your nervous system down. Your brain learned this a very long time ago. When things are hard, food helps. Food comforts, food makes us feel better. And so your brain keeps going back to that feeling because that's what it knows works. That craving is not weakness. Your brain is not broken. Your brain is incredibly smart. It found something that worked and it keeps suggesting it. It keeps pushing towards that. The problem is not that your brain is trying to sabotage you. The problem is that food is the only tool available in that moment. And once you understand that, you can start to think about how else you might be able to change this or stop it from happening over and over again. But you can't get there from a place of shame because shame is a stressor and more stress just keeps the whole cycle going. So now that you understand what is actually happening, let's talk about what to do about it. And I'm going to start with what does not work because this is where so many of us women get stuck. When you have a stressful week and your eating goes off plan, the instinct is to crack down, to be stricter next week, to restrict more, to wait, knuckle your way through it with more rules and more willpower. And listen, I completely understand that impulse. It feels like control. It feels like you are doing something about it. But here is the problem with that. Restriction is a stressor on your body. Undereating elevates your cortisol. Cutting calories aggressively, elevate your cortisol. Skipping meals, elevate your cortisol. So if your body is already in a stress state and you add a restrictive diet on top of it, you are literally pouring more fuel on that fire. You are giving your body more reasons to hold on to fat and crave that high reward food, not fewer reasons. This is why this cycle feels so impossible to break. Stress leads to eating. You did not plan. The eating leads to guilt. The guilt makes you restrict. The restriction adds more stress. The stress leads to more stress eating. And round and round that cycle goes. You cannot out-diet a stressed out life. And the sooner you stop trying to, the sooner things are going to actually start to shift for you. So what is going to actually help? Sleep is the first place I want to go here. Cortisol and sleep have a direct relationship. When you are not sleeping enough, your cortisol stays elevated. And when your cortisol is elevated, your sleep quality gets worse. It is a vicious cycle. So even small improvements in your sleep, going to bed 30 minutes earlier, getting off your phone before bed, making your room darker and cooler at night can start to shift your cortisol levels over time. Eating regularly balanced meals matters more than most women realize. When you skip meals or go too long in between eating, your blood sugar crashes. And a blood sugar crash is a physical stressor that raises cortisol. So ironically, the skipping meals thing that feels like a discipline is actually making your stress even worse. Moving your body in a way that generally feels good without being a punishment or being exhausting cardio or one more thing to check off actually lowers cortisol. A 10-minute walk outside, some gentle movement like yoga or stretching, anything that tells your nervous system you are safe and you are not in danger. And the bigger picture to work on that is looking honestly at where the chronic stress in your life is actually coming from. What are you carrying that maybe you do not have to carry alone? Where are you saying yes when your mind is screaming no? What you need that you have not been giving yourself. That is not a fluff here. That is what actually works. And it's so much more important than finding the perfect meal plan. When you are faced with that moment in front of the pantry after a stressful day or even a phone call, stop and pay attention. What are you feeling? What do you need to do in order to calm yourself down that doesn't involve eating something? Something that will actually lower your cortisol and help you reduce that feeling of stress. Besides walks and yogas, this can look like journaling, reading a good book for a few moments, calling a friend who always is positive, drinking a glass of water. Just noticing the stress and being aware can help you make more intentional choices when you're in that moment and not only help with your weight loss, but break this stress cycle that is keeping you stuck, that actually helps your body reduce stress so that you're not holding on to that fat. The women who can break this cycle are not the ones with more discipline. They are the ones who stop trying to out diet their stress and actually start addressing the full picture. What is causing the stress and how can I break the cycle? Okay, I don't want to leave this episode feeling overwhelmed. That would be deeply ironic given what we just talked about. So I'm going to give you three things, small things. Pick one, just one, and try it this week. The first one is to start noticing your stress signals before you get to the kitchen because the eating is never the starting point. There is always something that happened before. When in your day, do you feel the most depleted, most overwhelmed, most done, most stressed? That is your window. You don't have to fix anything yet. I just want you to notice it. Awareness is where everything begins. The second one is to add one thing to your week that actually lowers your stress. Not because it's on a wellness checklist, but because it generally makes your nervous system feel a little bit safer. A 10-minute walk outside, getting into bed 30 minutes earlier, saying no to one thing that you normally say yes to just to keep things smooth. One thing, that is it. Pick one. And the third one is this that the next time you eat from stress, do not spiral into guilt. Instead, get curious. Ask yourself what was actually going on before you got to the food? What were you feeling? What was the day like? What did you actually need in that moment? Write it down if you can. Even if it's just one sentence, you're not looking for a perfect answer. You're looking to just start to pay attention to a pattern that you are having. I'm not asking you to overhaul your life this week. I'm just asking you to start seeing the connection because that awareness is where everything starts to shift. Okay, here's what I want you to take away today. Stress and weight loss is deeply connected, not in a way that is your fault, in a way that is completely biological, completely real and normal. Your body produces cortisol. Cortisol stores fat. It spikes hunger. It suppresses the rational part of your brain. It makes you crave sugar and carbs. It disrupts your sleep. It makes your per perimenopause symptoms worse. And it keeps your body in a state where fat loss is generally very difficult. None of that is a willpower problem. You can't outwork it. None of it is a discipline problem. None of it means you are broken or lazy or not trying hard enough. You're women with a full life under a lot of pressure, and your body is responding to that in the exact way it was designed. The shift that changes everything is not finding a stricter plan or putting more rules on yourself. It is understanding the full picture of what is going on. The food, yes, it's part of it. And the stress is also part of it. And the way you talk to yourself after a hard day is part of it. It all matters. You cannot out-diet a stressed-out life, but you can start to understand it. And that is where everything starts to feel more possible. You deserve to feel good in your body and in your life. Not one or the other, but both at the same time. All right, ladies, if this episode resonated with you, I would love it if you would share it. Send it to a woman in your life who has been grinding and still feels stuck, who keeps asking herself, what is wrong with me? Because she needs to hear that nothing is wrong with her. Her body is just doing her job. And if you're ready to go deeper, if you want to actually figure out what is getting in the way for you specifically, I would love to talk. You can book your midlife strategy session with me at jenniferpeak.com backslash coaching. Just a real strategy be about what is actually going on and what is generally going to help you finally lose the fat for good. All right, follow the show so you never miss an episode. All right, ladies, thank you for listening and choosing to invest in your health today. These small moments of care are what's going to build your confidence and lasting strength so that you can live your best life. All right, ladies, remember that you are beautiful and strong. Until next time, keep showing up for yourself, keep celebrating those small wins. And remember, one choice, one change, one meal at a time. I hope you have an amazing week. Before you go, I have one quick favor to ask. If this episode empowered you, it would mean so much to me if you could help spread the work. So more women can lose that feeling muscle and feel unbelievable in power.