FIRE IN HER EYES PODCAST
A podcast about women who persevered! Stories and conversations with and about resilient women.
FIRE IN HER EYES PODCAST
Who Is She? (Part 1)
A conversation with Dr. Asha Rani about her personal journey of self-discovery beyond traditional female roles
Hello and welcome to Fire in Her Eyes. This is a podcast about women who persevered through pain to find peace and purpose. So if you're looking for a little inspiration and motivation to sustain you through difficult times, join us as we share stories of women who were empowered through pain and transformed struggles into sweet success. I'm your host, Tanya Skowronski. Welcome to Fire in Her Eyes, where women's stories ignite courage, transformation, and truth. Today, I'm honored to have a conversation with a woman whose story is both deeply personal and profoundly universal. Aishah Rani spent years living the life she thought she was supposed to live, checking the boxes, fulfilling the roles, and putting everyone else first. But beneath the surface, something was stirring. A quiet knowing that she was meant for more. This is not the story of walking away from a 25-year relationship. It's the story of walking toward herself. A journey of self-discovery, cultural unlearning, and healing ancestral wounds while reclaiming her voice. If you've ever questioned your path, your worth, or your right to want more, This conversation is for you. I had the great pleasure of reading her book. Who is she? The journey beyond being a mother, wife and daughter. Asha, it is so great to have you. Thank you for joining me on this podcast episode of Fire in Her Eyes. Welcome. Thank you for having me. I'm thrilled to have you here. So let's jump right in. Okay. Tell me about the moment when you knew you could no longer live the life you're living.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I'm not sure if I could say there was a moment, but there was a gradual buildup that began when the kids were big enough that they didn't need me physically as much as they used to, which meant I had more time. And yet with more time, I found myself getting very uncomfortable and Because I realized I have more time to do the things that I always thought I wanted to do, yet I didn't know what they were. So for me, it was the beginning of realizing who's Asha? Because Asha doesn't know what she wants to do. What does she enjoy doing? What makes her happy? I was so disconnected from that. And that became very uncomfortable for me because now there was no excuse. And that was the beginning of me really, really slowing down in my life and understanding that I needed to really figure out what is going to change my energy because I felt very stagnant. I felt like one day was just like the next. And it was time to really focus on me and really tap into what is the Asha moment. that wants to come out? Who is the Asha that wants to come out? Because the one that's living life is really just following the rules and is not really being authentic. So that was the beginning, having time yet not knowing what to do with it. Easier to keep yourself busy than to really face the truth about yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Right. Did you feel guilty for wanting more when, you know, the outside world is looking at you and you seem to have it all, a career, a husband, your children. Did you have this guilt? Did you question why you wanted more? And did you feel bad about wanting more? And how did you move through that guilt?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, there was guilt because having all the luxuries or ticking off every box of a checklist that many people want And then yet you still feel unfulfilled. You feel ashamed to admit it out loud. So you hold that in. But somewhere along that line, I realized that many women are going through this. And so it's not just me. The difference here is I'm coming to a space where I'm going to make a change about it. Guilt... For affecting other people's lives, yes. Because choosing me meant other people are going to be affected. But at the same time, I realized there should not be guilt. Because I'm going to now make changes that my mom never was able to make, that her mom was never able to make. But we would talk about this often. And my mom would share her regrets. So I knew that there was something that was going to keep continuing if I didn't stop to make a change. So that's where, for me, the guilt transitioned into self-love.
SPEAKER_00:That's really powerful. Thank you for that. It's often so hard. to go against the set of values that were given to us, whether by our culture or our society or our family or the environment we grew up in, it's so difficult going against that, that sometimes it's easier to just acquiesce and keep living that life. So in your book, you do mention that, I think for me, one of the most powerful parts where you said, I finished the race. I got married. I became a doctor. I had the three kids. I had the career, the house. Now what? I'm sure the outside world looked at you and thought, she's crazy. What more does she want? So how do you even begin to separate your identity from the roles you played as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, as a doctor? How do you even begin to do that?
SPEAKER_01:First, I feel for me, it was about asking for help. You know, when you're so busy playing a role and multitasking and doing everything beyond what really physically and emotionally you should be able to do, you burn out. You know, you run yourself down and you become very... routine in the way you do things, where you become so good at doing the task. And in that, I realized there is a Wonder Woman version that every woman plays in their life. And I didn't want to play that anymore. I didn't want to play a role. And I realized it was very important for me to ask for help and be open and be vulnerable and not pretend like I have it all put together. Yes, I'm getting the things done, but internally I'm breaking down as I'm doing it. So asking for help was the beginning of my journey to realize I can't do this alone. I can't make this big life shift alone, whatever it is that I'm about to do. Because at that point, I didn't know what I was going to do. I just knew I needed to make a change. It was very important for me to have a support network, to have guidance, to feel like it's finally time for me to say, hey, can somebody help me? Because I was so busy doing it for everybody else. And what that help looks like is different for everybody. who you reach out to, whether it's your faith, whether it's wisdom teachers, whether it's some really trusted, close friends, advisors, whoever it is asking for help, I think is very important because otherwise it gets very isolating.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I completely understand that feeling. I can tell you, I grew up where I believed all my life that You would never get divorced unless he's physically abusive or he's cheating on you or he's got an addiction problem. And when none of those boxes check, then you feel like, do I have enough of a reason to walk away? And how do you balance your happiness with that of your children? You know, it is said that we as parents, we are only as happy as our least happy child. So how do you make this decision that's going to rock the world, trying to shelter them from the storm while you're working your way out of it? How do you find that balance?
SPEAKER_01:So, you know, I think first for me, it was about not making any quick decisions because it took years to build a foundation. it needs to have a transition time to really rebuild. And so I took a pause in making any decisions that was going to affect anyone. And I just spent time on working on myself. And what does that look like? I worked with very close wisdom teachers. I started to really to pay attention to my own patterns that I was repeating, habits that I needed to change. my priorities that needed to change, doing things that I enjoyed in life. And as I started reconnecting to myself and really going on a spiritual path of discovering who Asha really is, that took a few years. So this was not like, oh, I made a decision. This was like, I made a decision to work on me. And in that unfolded the version of Asha that who now had a lot more clarity, who was able to let go of anger and resentment and guilt, which is the story we carry for many years in terms of what our life is looking like. Once I got to that space, I knew that I had the strength to make whatever decision I was going to make, even if that was going to mean that some family and friends were no longer going to be in my circle because my decision was not about them it was about me and I was ready to say hey if you're not going to be by my side I still love you and it's okay but I'm going to keep going forward because the version prior to that would not have been able to do anything would have probably crumbled in making a decision that she wasn't ready to make so I had to really work on myself before I did anything that was going to affect anybody else in my life especially my kids
SPEAKER_00:I I think one of the most powerful pieces of advice I've shared with my children is that it's important you take some time peeling off of you the layers of myths that are given to you, whether intentionally or unintentionally, through, you know, your friends, your classmates, your family, your background, your ethnic background, your cultural background, your religious education, whatever it is, try and peel off of you all these layers and get to the core of who you are. Because one of your most basic rights as a human being is to live authentically. And that you owe it to yourself when you have one chance at this thing called life to live it authentically. So having said that, how did you even begin to face the emotions that you've had spent years avoiding, whether things from childhood traumatic events, maybe through teenage years, whatever events it was, how do you even begin the unpacking and untangling of all of that to get to who you were at the core?
SPEAKER_01:So it really starts back to the little child in all of us. The one who walks through life with magic and happiness and love. And then somewhere along the line is told and taught certain things. And then that version no longer continues. For me, I think losing my brother at the age of seven was the first... major turning point of me feeling alone, me feeling unloved. And it wasn't because something my parents were doing. It was just me understanding and feeling life in a very different way. And for a child who doesn't know how to speak about it, I just kept it all in. You know, We are living in this age where now parents are having much more conversations with their children, the kind of conversation that our parents didn't know how to have because they didn't learn it. So I grew up keeping a lot of heavy burdens and sadness in. Walking through those dark spaces again was the beginning of my healing. Understanding What made me who I am, all my fears, all the traumas that I never shared with anyone, you know, opening up that closet of those deep, dark things that you don't want anyone to know. Once you open it, the release that that has that allows you to heal, that opens up space for you to move forward. I worked with. Wisdom teachers, I worked with spiritual teachers and. And it was the unpacking and a decoding that began and it had to start with my childhood. Because the adult woman, to heal the adult woman, you have to heal the little girl first. And that's where your journey begins. Understanding, uncovering, having gratitude for the changes that happen in your life and understanding where they made you who you are. And that was the beginning for me.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's really powerful. Thank you for that perspective. Was there a part of your healing that surprised you? Something that you didn't expect to uncover or confront?
SPEAKER_01:I would say my fear of death. You know, I don't think I ever really realized how much my fear of death was dictating how I was relating to the people around me. One, with my parents, the fear of losing them. And then with my kids, the fear of something happening to me and what's going to happen to them. So I really feel like the story of abandonment somewhere in there was playing out. to such a big extent that I didn't realize because God forbid, and this was going on in my head, a child has to grow up without a parent or a parent has to live life without a child. That strong bond was really dictating a lot of what I was doing in life and how I was raising my kids, partly to get, to have them grow up strong, but then also holding them back because I was afraid of them losing lying too much and what's going to happen to them, you know, so I can understand how my parents were making certain decisions for me, kind of around the same story. So the fear of abandonment, and the fear of death, those two fears, I didn't realize were really big stories in my life.
SPEAKER_00:Now that you have reached this point, two questions. One is, what does freedom look like to you now? And how does it differ from what you once thought it was? And what does self-love actually look like in your life now, beyond the buzzword self-love?
SPEAKER_01:So freedom before, I would say I thought of it as, oh, I get to do what I want to do, right? Plain and simple. I get to do what I want to do. Freedom now really is about me having the choice to explore life, which means I don't have it figured out, but I'm excited to allow myself to get lost so that I can go through different spaces that I didn't know I had the option of even walking through. So for me, the freedom is allowing myself permission to to keep growing and learning and let that take me wherever it's going to take me without resisting, without controlling, and letting my heart lead the way first before I let my mind take over and talk me out of it. My mind will help me once my heart makes a decision. Once my heart has decided this is what I want, then my mind will let me make the best decisions choices from that. So for me, that is freedom. And then that in that, whatever your authenticity looks like, and feels like it would, it will be self evident, I don't have to, I don't have to create it. It'll just be to just be
SPEAKER_00:one of my favorite chapters in your book was the cliff. And it's it highlights, for me, at least that, I have always somehow deep inside known my truth. I know what my heart and my soul crave and what they need, what they want, what fulfillment and peace looks like. But there was a disconnect between my heart and my mind because no matter how much my heart wanted it, the mind always shut it down and said, No, now is not the time or no, you're going to hurt someone or no, this is selfish or just be thankful and stop thinking of these things. You know, I used to call them thought bubbles. This thought would pop into my mind stemming from my heart. And I would quickly burst that thought bubble because I couldn't afford to even think. let it fester. I had to get rid of it because my mind was not going to allow me to execute that desire that was deep within me for various reasons, right? Again, going back to societal and cultural and whatever it is, expectations, because I thrived on making the people that I loved happy. Heck, I even thrived on people I didn't love, but I valued or thought they're important, or they're a source of authority on this, you know, chain of hierarchy. If they said to me, good job, that was good enough for them. But it was never enough to silence that instinct that I had. I know all too well what it's like on that climb when you're standing at the cliff, when you're standing at the edge of it. And you want to to take that leap of faith and yet something keeps pulling you back.
SPEAKER_01:Right, right. And fear is the biggest teacher that we can have because it is through that we understand where we are now, where we want to be and what happens once you finally take your foot forward. And you allow yourself to just fly. Because I retreated back from the edge of that cliff many times. Not because I didn't know what I wanted. It's because part of the unknown of what's going to happen after, I know what I want, but I don't know what's going to happen after I declare this is what I want. That was a very big unknown for what's going to happen to family, to friends, to my life. That's something that we all try to make decisions where we want to predict and have a good guarantee of what's going to happen when we make certain choices. And the biggest choices and decisions that we make don't come with that guarantee. And that's something that many of us like to say, stay in the comfort zone. And if you choose to stay in the comfort zone, it's a choice. You're allowed to make it, but then you have to own it. And owning it means that when you start to feel like you no longer fit in that box, that is the first sign of awareness that it's time to step out of it. But if you want the guarantee that the step that you're making is the right one, you're never going to get it. So then you really just have to surrender. But I know that this is what I want. And once you say this, I know that this is what I want. You just let everything happen as it's supposed to happen. Doesn't mean it's going to be easy, but it is going to be very authentic, very raw and very real.
SPEAKER_00:I remember that fear all too well. I was a rule follower. I like to check all the boxes. I did all the right things. And I find such I found such joy and people tell me good job and knowing that I was making everybody in my circle happy. But there came a point where my desire to live authentically was so powerful. It was overriding that sense of fear and apprehension and uncertainty that I had that free falling was terrifying, but it was beautiful at the same time because that was the first time in my life where I was untethered by external artificial validation that didn't align with my authenticity. So thank you for your book. And I hope that anyone who's listening to this episode will take the time to read it. It is powerful. It is beautiful. It is moving. I felt like you were occupying space in my mind and you knew exactly who I was, even though you and I had never met. It was so powerful. It was so moving. I will never forget wanting to highlight key words and key sentences and about 10 pages into the book, I'm like, what am I doing? I'm just going to highlight the entire book. There's... Every bit of wisdom, I held on to every word because it resonated with me, because it validated me, because it gave me even further clarity. It made me feel that I was not alone in my struggles. Like I said, you and I had never met, yet I felt heard and seen and understood and appreciated by you. So thank you. I have no doubt this book is going to transform so many lives. Thank you. And I thank you for your courage to write it. It truly takes so much courage to write it with such vulnerability, such rawness. So thank you for that. Can we talk a little bit about ancestral and cultural conditioning and how that shaped your life? I'm very much interested in that, coming from the ethnic background I come from. And how do you begin to break free from that? I'm a little bit careful in asking this question because I am so very proud about my ethnic background. My children speak the languages I grew up speaking. I listened to the music. I'm most expressive in my first language. There's so many traditions in my culture and my ethnic background that I love and I'm so proud of it. So this isn't a knock against anyone's culture. This is about you know, sifting your way through it and recognizing what sets of beliefs align with you and what sets don't. And it's okay that not everything you're taught, you know, doesn't align with you. It's okay if it doesn't align with you. So I'm cautious in asking you this question, but I would love to know how you were able to break free from certain ancestral and cultural conditioning that had shaped your life up to that point.
SPEAKER_01:So I come from an Indian background. My mom was born and raised in a tiny village in India. Her mother, her great grandmother, you know, all born in a village on a farm with her grandmother and mother, no education. My mom was the first to go to high school and high school back then was 10th grade. So that was a level of her education. yet still not allowed to have a job or a life outside the home. All three, my mom, my grandmother, great-grandmother had arranged marriages as teenagers. So their life was that, to be married, to have children, to work inside the home. That was the life that they, how they were raised. And that was the life of many women at that time. So they were only doing what they were allowed to do and what they thought was the norm. My mom came to this country and that was the beginning of a big shift that affected my life. But the shift didn't start with her. It started generations prior. So my great-grandmother had one child. Back then, having many children was a sign of wealth, especially if you had a son. She had one child and it was a girl, but she made a decision that she was gonna raise that one daughter as if it were a son. raise him to have the power to do the things, the physical tasks that only boys were allowed to do, to step out of the home, to do things that only boys were allowed to do. And so she raised her only daughter as a son. My grandmother had two kids and by the age of 21 became a widow. She was disowned by her in-laws. She then had to move back with her parents. So she now became the son of the household because she had to take care of her parents and take care of two little kids. She had to have a job and she worked alongside men in the workforce during a time where women were expected to stay at home. She was voted to be the village judge. You know, back then there was no court system. They chose one respected person from the village to be the judge and jury of any disputes. That position only went to men, but she was so respected by everyone in the community, they voted for her. And then you have my mom, who moved from a village to the United States where she didn't know anyone, didn't know the language, didn't have the education, but still had the heart and the strength to raise a family with so much love. and when she was raising me you know i have a brother but she would tell me privately she would say asha this is when i was in high school study really hard study hard get a good job and never depend on anyone for money you know as a high schooler as a teenager i didn't really understand the depth of what she was saying but i knew i had to do well in school you know um And when my dad would tell her to teach me how to cook, my mom would say, no, I'm not going to teach her because her place is not in the kitchen. So it is because of these changes that the generations before me made that has allowed me now to be born and raised in this country with an education, with the luxuries that my ancestors never had, and it has allowed me to have a choice. And in that choice, it has allowed me to have the freedom to choose what feels good to me. And if not, to choose a path that feels different. But in all of that, I honor with gratitude every woman who came before me. So it's not about saying that they did anything wrong. They did the best that they could with what they had. They raised me the way their moms raised them, but each one had a knowing that there was something different that they had to do for themselves that was now going to affect future generations. And it is because of them that I'm here. So in terms of breaking the ancestral patterns, I had now everything that I needed to have to say, now that I'm in this space here and I have a choice, I'm going to use it. And I'm going to now raise my kids in a different way. Embrace the culture. Embrace the vibrancy of being Indian. And at the same time, embrace each child authentically as they are. Because I had to do that for myself first. So, you know, when we have to break patterns, we're not trying to... in any way disrespect where we came from. We are just learning and evolving as people, as a community, and as a culture. The Indian generations that are here now are learning a lot from the young generation. My parents are learning a lot from their grandkids. So everyone is teaching each other. So, you know, my parents who are now in their 70s and 80s, they broke some ancestral patterns that, you know, in their later years. Why? Because now they have a daughter who is making decisions that were never allowed before. And they have to learn and process what that means for them and how they react to that. Are they going to disown a child because now she is not following the rules or are they going to learn to embrace it and adjust and go with the flow of a new generation? So each one is making it. And I allowed myself now the permission to choose different. And in that, as a community, we are a lot tighter because now we understand and learn that, hey, being Indian is not one way. Being religious is not one way. What you choose to follow doesn't make you less Indian or not. And it's all about really embracing. If you're going to embrace your culture, you have to embrace all of it and say that I love you. And in that love, I'm going to now expand and grow from that and choose a path that feels good to me. And so that's, for me... very empowering and also allows me to feel very connected to being Indian.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. Thank you. That's great perspective. What advice would you give to women who feel trapped in expectations, but fear what's on the other side could break them?
SPEAKER_01:So I would say before you do anything, Allow yourself to really slow down. Allow yourself to really feel into what is it that you want? You know, if we could give general answers like I want freedom, I want love, you know, but what is it that you really want for yourself? Because you may think you want something. And as you allow yourself to slow down and really delve in. you may end up feeling something else. So in all of that, it's a work in progress. It's like putting the puzzle pieces together. Give yourself time now to put the small pieces of the puzzle together. Allow yourself the space to focus on yourself. And in that space, you're going to not have to try so hard to figure yourself out. Things will just start to align and you'll start to really feel in touch with, oh, this is what I truly want. And in that, take the first step because no one's going to be there to change your life for you unless you take that first step first. And once you do that, you take one step at a time. Don't worry about what's waiting on the other side. You will never know that. So if anything that I will say, you will never know what the future holds. The only thing you need to know is that with every step you take, does it feel good? And if it doesn't feel good, give yourself permission to choose different. And if it feels good, keep moving forward. Do not base your life on what you expect. Unless you are willing to take a risk. And when I say risk, we're not talking about Oh, my God, something bad is going to happen. It's about allowing yourself to fall and get up again because you're going to get up stronger. And if you're not willing to do that, then you're not ready to say, hey, it's time for me to live a life that feels authentic to me. Give yourself the time.
SPEAKER_00:Do you feel that that very first step is the hardest step?
SPEAKER_01:It is the hardest because you don't know what that feels like. That first step is the longest, slowest step you will ever take. Once you get a feel for, oh, I'm okay, I'm safe. Am I safe? Yes, I'm safe. And the fear, the fear may still be there. for the next many steps. But then fear becomes a friend. Fear becomes somebody that you talk to. And then it no longer becomes somebody that you're afraid of. It's the fire that ignites you to keep going forward, to take action, and to walk a path that you know you're meant to walk.
SPEAKER_00:I remember so vividly for me that first step was terrifying. And there were years of between the initial awakening and the thoughts until I finally found the courage to take the first step. It was terrifying. But I remember once I got a taste, a glimpse of what it could feel like after I had taken the first step, there was no turning back. I could not go back. And the excitement of what could lie ahead, silenced to a great extent, the fear of uncertainty. It's such a tough balance to strike between fear that's meant to be there to protect you and fear that paralyzes you and forces you to stay stagnant, wasting away the possibility of being authentically you.
SPEAKER_01:And what I will say is, because I don't want to... overshadow the fact that when you take that first step and you feel that fear, but then you know there's an excitement of that there's a path ahead, it is also part of the process to feel sad. And we can't overlook that. Because in the path that feels authentic, it doesn't mean that once you take that first step, woo, I'm free. No, it doesn't work like that. The sadness that you have to allow yourself to feel in knowing that the journey that you have walked up until that point is over. There is a grief in that, that you have to allow yourself to feel even as you're moving forward. You know, the sadness is not a sign that you're doing, that you're walking in the wrong direction, but it is a grieving process that every person has to allow themselves to feel. Being authentic doesn't mean that you're living your most carefree life. That's a work in progress because you're learning and growing, falling down, making mistakes. There's a freedom in there, but it doesn't mean that you're not going to walk through spaces that still feel sad. Because there's a life that you thought you were going to have that is no more. There is a picture you thought that was, there was a masterpiece you thought that was already painted and it's no more. And you're allowed to grieve that. That is part of the healing process. You don't have to hold onto it, but you're allowed to grieve it.
SPEAKER_00:Right. That's such a great point you make. Thank you for that. I remember all too well that there are moments where the simple act of breathing felt painful. I remember thinking that, How much more can I take? But I reminded myself over and over again of one of my favorite quotes, pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. So I chose in those moments to sit in the pain, to allow myself to feel whatever it is that I needed to feel, to trust the process, to trust in my instinct, to believe in my strength, to know that that pain was present to further empower me with the lessons that I needed to take then the next step and then the next step. It's been about maybe 15, 17 years since my journey. And I love where I am today. I love the life I get to live. Very intentional, very purposeful. That doesn't mean my life is free of challenges and problems and heartache and worries here and there. There's plenty of those, but there's something intoxicatingly beautiful about living your authentic, truest self. And for me, the decision to begin anew was terrifying because of my children. But I remember vividly asking myself, if my daughter were in my shoes, would I tell her to stay on the same track she's been following all her life according to the set of rules and values that were given to her? And I would tell her no. And that's when I knew that if I stayed, that if I didn't make a change in my own life, I'm leading by example of what it's like to live and an artificial world succumbing to external pressures and validation.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And, you know, I also want to say that in the process of change and really, you know, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a profession, whether it's where you live, the process of change can feel, and I've said this before, can feel like a bomb explosion, right? Because so many things are breaking and falling apart. But because it's painful doesn't mean it's wrong. Because you're sad about it. Because you're sad about the change doesn't mean it's not one that's meant to happen. And because your decision affects loved ones doesn't mean you're being selfish. Because selfish and self-love are two very different things. So in that context, Making a change in one aspect of your life, you give yourself permission to know that change is part of life. It is why we are here. We are not meant to be doing the same thing without evolving and growing. So I don't want anyone to walk away with the thought that this is just about a relationship. It is not. It is way bigger than changing relationships a long-term relationship. It is really about the change that you are going through internally that is now getting to the point where you know that you have outgrown aspects of your life and it's time to give yourself permission to choose different.
SPEAKER_00:So with both of us having daughters, what advice would you give an 18-year-old? And I think this applies even to our sons. It's so difficult in today's world. At age 18, now you're officially an adult and you're supposed to make a decision for what you're going to do next. I mean, I see it year after year. Seniors in high school, they are always asked, oh, where are you going to school? What are you going to become? How about you ask them, what are your aspirations? Who are you as an individual, right? At 18, you have not even... started fully living your adult life. Yet you're supposed to make these huge decisions and commitments to choosing a major to choosing a partner, you know, within the next decade, you're just starting to live your life, not empowered with any experiences, you don't even know what you don't know. And yet you're supposed to make these big, oftentimes life altering decisions. What advice would you give an 18 year old, a 20 year old?
SPEAKER_01:I would say. Follow where your curiosity and excitement takes you. Because where your curiosity and excitement takes you, the path starts to reveal itself. You know, when people try to say, what is my purpose? You don't have to figure out what your purpose is. Only thing you need to know is where is my passion, my excitement, my curiosity. It's kind of like you're solving a mystery and that mystery is who are you really? Once you start following your passion and your excitement and curiosity, you will walk down the correct path. The societal aspect of job, career, and all of that, all of that, wherever your path will take you, let it take you. Your story, your journey, it doesn't have to look like the person next to you. Don't compare yourself to what everybody else is doing. You know, I say this is like, you know, back in school here, we used to take tests. Everyone was given a different version test. Yes. But so your answers were different from the person next to you. So your answer number five is different from their answer number five. So don't bother trying to look at the person next to you. They're on a different journey. They're creating their own masterpiece. So once you stop comparing yourself, you cheer them on and you keep going your path. Whether you get married earlier or later or decide not to get married, whether you choose to have kids or not to have kids, it is not about what everybody else is doing. It is about you. You're here on a solo journey. Wherever you go, you go. And me as a mom, I am here to love you and guide you and support you. I don't have to agree with everything you do, but I will be here when you need me. And that is my advice.
SPEAKER_00:That is great advice. Who are you today? This is so fascinating for me. I could talk to you for hours, but I know I need to wrap up in the next few minutes. So if I can ask you just a couple more questions. Who are you today that your past self would not even recognize?
UNKNOWN:Hmm.
SPEAKER_01:Who Asha is today, she is an explorer of this planet. That is who she is. She is ready to fly and travel into realms, the unseen, to tap into spaces where many are afraid to go. And when I say that, I say that with a lot of love because in every darkness, there is light. So I'm not afraid to go there. And so I am here to continue to allow myself to explore, to recreate myself. Doesn't matter at what age, I'm gonna keep giving myself permission to just evolve and grow. I never would have thought that I would be here speaking, that I would be writing a book, that I would be making dramatic life shifts and enjoy it. So I would call myself Asha the Explorer. I
SPEAKER_00:love it. I love it. A couple more questions. What does power mean to you now? And how do you stand in it differently?
SPEAKER_01:To me, power is about grace. I find myself often the balance of the masculine and feminine. The power and the grace for me is where there is balance, is where I don't have to come to a space of declaring. The power is just there in the grace of just being and existing in this world. You know, people like to speak on it, act on it, do on it, you know, in a very masculine way. For me, being in my divine feminine is I get to do and be all in one. So for me, power is grace. And you keep doing what you do, whether people know it or not. whatever you do, even behind closed doors, whether you get accolades for something or a million people know you or one person knows you, if you're still in that space and you do what you do regardless of being seen or being heard, that's power.
SPEAKER_00:I love it. How do you hope your story will give other women permission to rewrite their own?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think for me, it's about continually showing up in my light and sharing. Because I feel like my space here is, and it's to each his own, but I'm showing up a little bit like a social experiment. And women are watching from afar to see how this plays out. And in that space, They will know that if she can do it, I can do it. I don't need to teach or declare. I'm just going to continue to live my life and share. And from the sharing and speaking, the picture that you will see will be self-evident. And that's the space that I know that the more that I share, the more changes happen because I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just living my life.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you. This is eye-opening, inspiring, powerful, and healing. I'm thinking right now of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. He wrote, to know when life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded. And Asha, you are indeed a success. I have no doubt that there's at least one woman out there who has heard your message. or will hear your message, and her life will be forever transformed. The book, Who Is She?, is truly moving, eye-opening, and empowering, and I hope that our audience will choose to read it and share your message with their friends and other women who are in a place stuck wanting to open the door to their glass cages, but unable to do so. I have no doubt that you have already transformed lives and you will continue to do so. It is truly an honor to talk to you. I am so energized by our conversation and I hope you will join us once again on a future episode on this podcast. You are truly the epitome of grace and strength and girl power. I love it. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your time. I so appreciate you. Thank you,
SPEAKER_01:Sonia, for having me. You are amazing. Keep doing what you're doing. Rock on, girl.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you so much. I certainly hope to keep doing this. We shall see. Thank you for spending time with me today. If you enjoyed this content, please make sure you subscribe to this podcast and leave a quick review to help us share the message.