Resilience and Leadership: Colonel Angela Gentry's Journey

Join us on "Fire in Her Eyes" as we delve into the inspiring journey of Colonel Angela Gentry. From her unexpected path into military intelligence to her profound experiences in Kosovo and Iraq, Colonel Gentry shares her story of resilience, leadership, and unwavering faith. Discover how she navigated the challenges of military life while balancing family and personal growth, offering insights and encouragement for women in male-dominated fields. Tune in for a powerful conversation about perseverance, purpose, and the strength found in vulnerability.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello, and welcome to Fire in Her Eyes. This is a podcast about women who persevered through pain to find peace and purpose. So if you're looking for a little inspiration and motivation to sustain you through difficult times, join us as we share stories of women who were empowered through pain and transformed struggles into sweet success. I'm your host, Tanya Skoronsky. Today on Fire in Her Eyes, I have the great honor of sitting down with Colonel Angela Gentry, a woman whose life story embodies resilience, leadership, and service at the highest levels. From Kosovo and Iraq to her decades of service in the Washington Army National Guard, Colonel Gentry has navigated the demanding world of military intelligence while remaining deeply committed to her faith, her marriage, and raising her three children. Her journey is one of perseverance and purpose, proof that women can lead with strength, compassion, and vision while staying true to what matters most. Colonel Gentry, welcome to the show. I'm so excited for our listeners to hear your story.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

How apropos that I am meeting with you today on National Veterans Day. So I want to begin by thanking you for your service because, as they say, freedom is not free. And I, as a naturalized citizen, know firsthand what a blessing and privilege it is to live in a country where we have freedom and we have rights that are always protected through the service and commitment of others, such as yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

I love that. And I love your perspective. It's so humbling.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Thank you. So what first drew you to the military and more specifically, why military intelligence?

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I love the questions. Great way to start. So in all complete honesty, and what's funny about today is that that one of my joys is actually speaking at Veterans Day um ceremonies to be able to honor those who have served. Because, you know, I don't I don't know that I had the best perspective, you know, uh perspective as a as a young person. And that's typical, don't get me wrong. Lots of um enlightenment comes with maturity and experience. But I love going back into the into the schools, especially those schools that are filled with military dependents, to share my my story. Because in all honesty, transparency, I had zero intentions of joining the military. My only perspective in the military was being a military um dependent. Uh, you know, my father was active duty my entire childhood, as far back as I can remember. And all I could, all I really truly could remember was that emotional impact of having to move, particularly when you're in that middle school, high school age. And you know, you're meeting your friends and you're getting very, very attached to your friends. And the hardest move for me was truly when I was in high school, we were in Germany. I was, you know, living the good life, you know, sports, academics, everything. I just felt like I was on a natural high. And then, of course, my father, you know, it was time to retire, and we had to move back to the states and start that process. And it was such a jarring experience for me as a young person because, you know, as I I joke all the time, we're not, you know, mo we're not emotional at all when we're in our teenage years, right? We're very rational. Right, sure. That was such a jarring experience for me that that um that I swore off the military. It's like absolutely not. My parents will constantly encourage me, like, just consider, you know, consider R OTC, the reserve officers training court, consider scholarships. We know you want to go to college. You know, we were my brother and I were first generation college students, so everything was learning, you know, the the whole, you know, applying for college, going to college, all of it. So my brother, um, being a couple years ahead of me, he ended up going to college before me. And, you know, my my parents, you know, poured a lot, you know, into him, but particularly financially, to try and support him. So by the time it was it was my turn to go to school, um, you know, we kind of hit a road, you know, financially as a family. And, you know, I was a straight A student, I was, you know, three varsity letters in high school. Just that that kid was like perfect um scholarship applicant, if you will, for a scholarship. It was particularly an ROTC, but I just didn't want to apply until I got to the University of Washington in Seattle, and the reality hit me like there's I have to figure out a way to to to basically help not just myself but the family at large. And so I stumbled into. I tell people that my greatest blessings in this in this world, I stumbled into. So I stumbled into the RMROTC. I just walk, I was a walk-in, if you will, um, and then ended up really kind of enjoying the the journey. I mean, it was, you know, lots of unique challenges. Um, but at the same time, I look back and I think, you know what, Lord, whatever it took for me to to basically get my education, you know, to to stumble into a career even that I ended up loving, I mean, I just I thank him for it. And so it really was that that financial hardship um as a young person, trying to pay for school, get through school, that um that that drew me into the military life. And I truly took that scholarship thinking that I was just gonna do my my commitment and be done with it. Because whether it be like the negative experiences as a cadet or my you know, some negative experiences early as a lieutenant, I was just like, I don't know if this is this is the life for me. But um, but through every through every hardship, truly the Lord kind of opened up a door for me to see a greater, a bigger blessing, right? And so I ended up just sticking with it and military intelligence. So when you're a young cadet, you apply for what you want to do and where you want to, what you want to do as a profession in the military. Um, somewhere in our third year, particularly after we finish our qualifying um camp, if you will, that whole experience. It's like your whole evaluation year is your junior year. And then by your senior year, that's usually when they when they tell you what branch. I was actually discouraged for applying for the military intelligence branch, believe it or not. Wow. Um though I was though I exactly, though I was a phenomenal student when I was in high school, like I college was all survival for me. Again, first generation, struggling to pay. Um, the University of Washington at the time was the only um college that offered the scholarship but didn't pay for room and board. And so I was working a job, sometimes two, and during the summer, three jobs just to afford living and surviving in Seattle on top of getting my education. So I spent most of my college career exhausted, not the best student, falling asleep in class, you know what I mean, like barely passing some of my classes, um, but striving through and making it through. And so um my professor at the time, my military professor at the time was like, I don't know if you're gonna if you're gonna get selected for military intelligence, you should consider other branches. I was like, okay, but I was stubborn, so I still put it, you know, in my top three, and lo and behold, by the grace of the Lord, I got selected to be in the military intelligence branch. And, you know, from that point on took off and had a phenomenal career doing the same. So um, so that's my first encouragement. Like sometimes a little stubbornness is okay.

unknown 7:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Go for what I mean. You never know. It could still be granted to you, and it was granted to me, and I don't take that for granted at all.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

I love the expression, man plans, God laughs. Yes, ma'am. Right. Just like you know, I look back at so many detours in my own life where I was like, uh, feeling defeated, feeling lost, feeling like I was wandering. And looking back now, I can see exactly how it unfolded in a way that was best for me. Leveraging my gifts, my talents to do something meaningful and purposeful. So I think there's beauty and uncertainty a lot of times, but it's hard to accept that when you're going through it. It's good looking back to see the meaning behind it. Um, was there a moment early on in your career when you realized you had found your purpose and service?

SPEAKER_02 8:39

I love that. And so, and I love what you just said. Um, I don't want to discount the fact that though I say I stumbled into, you know, several different opportunities of my life, I know now, right? Like exactly what you said. I know the Lord had ordered my steps and kind of guided me through all this because I was in you know full rebellion, if you will, trying to understand who I was and and and what my my um and who my God was, honestly, especially during those young years. But um what I love though is that in full rebellion in my life, and I was at a point in my life, especially my young 20s, where I felt like I just kept making not the best decisions for my life, right? Whether it be people I allowed in my life or just, you know, where I was going. I was just very, very angry. And I didn't realize that I was growingly angry. And part of my spiritual testimony is that I was growingly angry against my parents, especially, because there was a deep-rooted um frustration with, you know, how in the world were you able to support my brother so well, but not me? And I had pitted myself against my brother and kind of created my own enemy in my own mind and spirit. And it it came from that frustration that I just talked about, just being in college, being a great student, being a great athlete, but then still having to fight for every little bit of what it meant to graduate, right? What it meant to be in the military, what it meant to be a young lieutenant. And every time I hit a hard moment, I'd fall back into, oh, whoa is me. Like, why do I have to deal with this? You know what I mean? Like, oh, I'm the daughter. I should be the precious one, I should have been the more protected one, right? And I didn't realize how much it was wreaking habit on my spirit. And um, and I remember getting to my first duty station after my officer basic course, and it was in Georgia in Fort Stewart, and I got there and I checked and I just um checked into my apartment. I was standing on the porch of my apartment, and I remember throwing up my hands and saying, you know, Lord, I feel like I've met a made a mess of my life. Just, you know, just take it. And um, and I walked into and I checked into my unit the very next day. Um, and I had and I was assigned at the time to an infantry battalion because the entire brigade, infantry brigade that I was assigned to was forward in Kosovo. And the gentleman said, you know, keep your bags packed. You're going, we're sending you to Kosovo. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? Like, I'm a brand new lieutenant, fresh out of school, so I know basically nothing, right, other than my book knowledge that I'm being taught. Um, I'm assigned to an all-mill battalion, right? A unit, an infantry battalion, and now we need you to go to Kosovo. So your first assignment in anything, doing anything leadership-wise, is gonna be, you know, I mean, not here in this country, in any type of protective environment. And I tell people that this is how I know the Lord has had his hand over my life because it was probably the the loneliest time of my life. It was wrought with a lot of contention, just being a female and having to understand who I was and establish myself, you know, in many ways and dealing with, I don't care if it was negative male attention because I was a female in general, or just, you know what I mean, um, you know, guys hitting on you, but then having to having to fend that off, and then just wanting to be taken seriously because you just wanted to be a professional and having to kind of put yourself in that mold. So it was the loneliest, most challenging time of my life, but man, probably the most spiritually cleansing, the spark of what I felt was my own spiritual journey with my God as a young person. Because um, it's where the Lord like revealed to me like that's who I really need is Him. And this is not to say that I didn't go through many other, you know, um moments of my life where I was ready to give up, but on certain things in my life. But it was a time of my life where all I had was my job, right? Like I couldn't even like hang out after work without someone accusing me of being flirtatious or just wrong in some way. So it was my job, it was the gym, it was the the dining facility. And even people would sit, try and sit with me at the dining facility, and I kindly asked them not to, just because I didn't need any type of negative attention, no type of rumors. I just wanted to do my job and go home, right? And so it it taught me early on to define myself and who I wanted to be as a young leader, especially particularly as a young female leader.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

So, as you mentioned, you've served in Kosovo, and I believe you also served in Iraq during some of the most intense times in recent history. What moments tested your perseverance the most? And what kept you grounded?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Um, I think what tested me most was probably when you're stripped away from all your comforts in life, and it's really hard for you not again to fall back into that woe is me, right? And so I see everyone's life, everyone's spiritual journey as definitely a growing period, you know what I mean, in maturity and in challenges. And so, whereas Kosovo was kind of the onset of me wanting to cling to Christ, you know what I mean, in my own personal life, Iraq also tested me because I found myself time and time again falling into that woe is me. Like, why do I have to go through this? Why am I being challenged with this? And Iraq was was naturally scary because it was the initial invasion, it was the start of the war, it was the time where us as soldiers um did not have any comforts of life whatsoever. And um, and you're put into these situations where you're like, I would have never in my life expected to be in a situation like this. And um, and I remember sitting, you know, initially in our early days where we were actually in Kuwait getting ready to cross over, where I thought, man, I hate this. But for the first time, and I say this on Veterans Day, for the first time I realized like I would never be able to even have this experience if I had if I didn't have the privilege of serving, you know?

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

The stronger moment of my life. But then in the middle of the war, right before we crossed the Tigris and Euphrates, I remember uh and I and I share this with young people, it was a moment where I thought my life was was over because there was such a miscommunication of what was happening, and there was a large explosion just not far away from where we were staged at the time. Um, and then I remember opening up the um, we call them sick-ups. I opened up our tents to walk out to just ball the fire, ball of explosion. No, you know, no knowledge or understanding of is this incoming? Is this, you know, this what happened, what's going on here? And if it's this close to me, then we're next. Like the explosion is just gonna, it's just gonna start raining down on us and we're gonna be next. And just that moment of feeling like my life was over, immediately following that. I wish I could say, oh, I was strong and I had this great epiphany about life and you know, took everything, you know, took everything for granted. But in all actuality, I turned into it turned into anger. Again, going back to like, why did I have to be the one to have to, you know, to have to go into ROTC? Why did I have to be the one to join the military to pay for college? Why did I just all this anger and and and and um frustration within my soul, just turmoil still unresolved, to where I wrote a long seven-page angry letter to my father and mother about just, you know, why, you know what I mean? Just totally convinced that they loved my brother more than me, they supported him more than me. Everything was about me, me, me, right? And um, I remember walking out of that sit cup, going to my to my Humvee's guys, told myself, I was like, listen, if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with my soldiers, right? And they were they were packing out our vehicle and preparing for the next day, and everybody was stalled, of course, because of what was going on. No one knew what was happening. By the time I got to where their vehicles were at, they had clarified that there was an engineer unit that was that was blowing up what we call it, weapons cachet, an enemy's weapons cachet. But because it had been communicated to all of us, we were all just shocked and stunned. And so when all the dust settled by the end of that night, I remember laying out my cot next to my Humvee, getting into my sleeping bag, laying down, and then just this flood of tears just kind of fell over my face because I just knew the Lord was like, He just said to me and very clearly my spirit, like you keep thinking that other people, right? Like it's about other people or other people have had their hand in this life. He's like, but I have been ordering your steps since you were a baby, and I just lost it. Like everything in me just tears just flowed down, and it were they were falling down because I was laying down, right? I just remember, like, are these tears gonna stop? Um, and it was such a freeing moment to realize, like, hey, I've been blaming other people my entire life for every experience that I've had, instead of seeing, like, Lord, what do you have for me? Where are you taking me? And then I started to unpack and realize that I had been making my parents my God. And whenever you make people your God, all people, it doesn't matter how great they are and how how how wonderful they may have been in your life, they are still people and they are still human, and they're still going to disappoint you. And um, and so I had to learn to turn that, turn that um for me spiritually, it was a very it was a huge another turning point, if you will, in my life to say, okay, Lord, let me stop focusing and blaming other people for how I got to where I was at, especially when things start to go wrong. Instead, let me try to focus in on what you have for me and where you're taking me. And that was a very, very freeing experience for me, truly.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

How did you balance the weight of leadership with the reality of danger, uncertainty, and the responsibilities of being a young officer?

SPEAKER_02 18:39

During that time, I I will say that for me, my my spiritual life was everything. Like, I don't know how I would have done it without it. And there's something too about just being in Iraq, on holy land, that was very moving for me. And I remember thinking, like, count your blessings daily. So I would look around every morning and just look, and I remember being so amazed and and more in awe of these young soldiers who were putting their best foot forward every single day that I had no excuse but to do the same. You know what I mean? And like their their motivation, and don't get me wrong, we all we all had moments where we were just, woe is me, like what in the world is going on? Why am I here? Um, we talked about life. Like, there's nothing more real um and more transparent and more just like raw than being in a situation like that where you don't know what's gonna happen day in and day out, right? Like at one moment you're being told to put on your full battle rattle, your full military gear. Another moment you're told to put on your your mask for a second because there might be, you know, a chemical explosion near you. And the next moment, you know, you're driving in the middle of darkness, just following other Humvees and this long convoy in the middle of the desert where you, there's nothing to the left or to the right of you. There's nothing more freeing than being, you know, downtown in the heart of Baghdad and seeing the little kids come up to you, especially the little girls, and say, Oh my gosh, just seeing you gives me hope. There's nothing more like like just gut-wrenching than that to say, what do I have to complain about? Like, oh my gosh, just put your best foot forward, see the beauty and everything, count your blessings. Whenever you start to go down that negative, negative hole again, try to lead yourself into remembering it's not about you, it's about other people, it's about a purpose, you know, a mission greater than yourself. And it's hard sometimes to do that. But I will say, like on the hardest of days, especially in the middle of war, I think that's what helped pull me out of. And I tell my my fellow believers, I was like, man, the Bible just felt so it was like watching a DVD. Like reading my Bible to me was like watching a DVD. Because even small verses, like as a deer pants for the water, and you're in the middle of a desert, and there's like maybe a pasture, one every, you know what I mean, two to three clicks. And you see a small little green pasture, and you're like, Yes, Lord, that's a deer pants for the water, especially in a place like this. So my soul thirsts for you. And for me, that was that was everything. And again, it's just been a been a journey. And I think that's what I will always appreciate the military the most, is that though it's had its highs and lows, and those it had very challenging moments, especially as a young person, like, oh man, it is built over time, over time in a lot of trials, it has built an appreciation for the littlest of things.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Right. I love the way you adjusted your perspective when you couldn't change your circumstances, and you never lost sight of the power of faith and of gratitude. I think those are so important in sustaining us during difficult moments. Absolutely. So in 2008, you made the transition from active duty to the Washington National Guard. What was behind that decision and how did it shape your life and career?

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Oh, this is very good. Um, after my first duty station, we go to what we call our captain's career course, our advanced course. And for me, that was back to Fort Wachuca, Arizona, being military intelligence. And while we were there, my husband, you know, said, Hey, you know, I feel like the Lord is calling us back to Washington. And at the time, I did not want to go back to Washington. We had just built our first home in Georgia. We loved our savannah, we loved our church, we loved everything about Georgia where we were living at the time. Um, and I was eager to go back. But sure enough, the military um assigned me to Washington to come back to what was Fort Lewis, now Joint Base Lewis McCord at the time. And almost immediately after we got here, the Lord called my husband into ministry. He was working as a resident uh counselor at a boys' home in Georgia while we were in Georgia. And then when we got to Washington, that he felt called to ministry. And then I got pregnant not too long after with my son. So both of those things changed our priorities very quickly. And I knew at the time, especially in 2008, where we were all deploying about every other year, that I had to make a decision, a hard decision on what we wanted to do. And so we decided we um we were through prayer, through a lot of prayer actually, because it was not easy for me to let go of, we decided that we were going to on pure faith leave the military. And so I was like, okay, Lord, I don't know what's next. I don't know what you have for me next, but okay. So we were obedient in that. Um, but after when I while I was having my my son, my military intelligence unit was getting ready to deploy and no-kidding, like on a on like it was a two-day difference when they were like, hey, boss wants you to deploy with with this element that's going out. And I was like, two days prior, I had just found out that I was pregnant. So I had to whisper to my executive officer during a meeting, I was like, I am pregnant. I literally just found out that I'm pregnant. And so, but as I was pregnant, they had decided that I would go then to a military police unit that was still scheduled to deploy, but they were gonna deploy when my son was gonna be about nine months to a year old. But then, like when I was about six months pregnant, they came back to me and they're like, Hey, we want to give you the option to still deploy when he's about four months old. You know what I mean? When you're when you cleared that window versus going to this other unit. And I was emotionally distraught, like imagine, right? Like being a newly first baby. I was like, I cannot make this decision. My husband's gonna have to make this decision. And so when I went back to him, um he was like, I would prefer for you to give me at least almost a full year because I'm also a new parent. This is a lot, and so I stayed with the military police unit, the brigade, if you will. And when I came off of my pregnancy, they said, hey, we had moved our deployment to the right. It got moved to the right by so many months, and so it left a window that was open for me to choose to get out because we weren't in what we called stop loss, stop move during that window. And so I went back to my husband. I was like, Do you think this is it? And he's like, I think this is it. So we dropped the paperwork, and it was a year of, you know, a very, very difficult process, spirit, like, like for me, spiritually, you know, faith, exercising faith, but then also just pride, because that's usually when they offer you like some of the best assignments and the best locations. Um, and it was oddly enough, the first time they had offered um a huge bonus, you know, find a monetary bonus for officers to stay in. And I had to say no to all of it to get out on pure faith. And then the the Lord blessed me by being in a in a Bible book study with the officer trained manager for the Washington Army National Guard, who told me about the opportunity. And I was like, okay, well, I'll try it, but I'm not gonna sign anything that's gonna commit me to long term, and ended up absolutely loving it. People kept saying while I was on active duty, like guard is like one of the best kept secrets. I'm like, okay, whatever. What is what is the guard? Is that the JV or the C team of the Army? Like, I don't know, right? And so you have all these built-up, like negative um connotations behind the other services. And I joined, and oh my goodness, is particularly being a military intelligence professional and being able to be part of one of the best companies at the time and now still part of one of the best battalions. Oh my goodness, just amazing professionals who do just phenomenal things, not just on through a weekend, but there are some that work full-time in this capacity, and they are, oh my god, I just can't say say enough about the um unit that I was able to be part of. And I still to this day feel extremely grateful that this is where I found a great home.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

I really admire your passion. It definitely comes through. Many women listening wrestled with the balance between professional calling and family stability. How did motherhood and marriage influence your choices?

SPEAKER_02 27:25

So I will start to say that whenever I have been asked this question, because I because we're asked this question a lot with a lot of young, particularly female leaders, I tell them I was like, at some point you have to decide what your priorities are and and and do everything you can to hold on to them because it will require faith, it will require difficult choices. And the most financially lucrative option is absolutely not always gonna be the best option, or it's gonna challenge your priorities, you know, and you have to be willing to stick to those, whatever that may be. And so it's easier said than done, right? And so for me, leaving active duty and not knowing what was on the other end was our first huge face step that we took together as a as a couple. Join the guard, you know, not realizing the amount of opportunities that was gonna open up for me and the fact that I was gonna be able to stay in uniform, serve not only as a military intelligence officer, you know, all the way through the rank that I am today, truly blessed to be, but then also in my my community, right, with my family, you're gonna have to make those decisions. And I've had to time and time again turn down what is probably the assignment, the job that you want, or the opportunity that seems so amazing. But it's never disappointed, it's never let me down. And I tell people like there are things that I've been able to do and be as a as a wife, as a mother, as you know, part of my community. We, you know, my husband and I got to be part of a church plant for 15 years here, you know, in Washington. Um, the stability that we've been able to provide for my our family, the opportunities that we've been able to do in ministry, I would have never been able to do those things if I, you know, was chasing just the next best thing, the next, you know, um cool thing, if you will. Um, and so and I've had to remind myself that, especially in times where that were that were harder and more difficult for me along the way. But there's gonna be a time where you just you have to decide what your priorities are. It is a hundred percent important to agree with that with your spouse and then at some point choose faith. Um, I you know, my husband has this saying that if it didn't require faith, is it really Christ? Right? And um, and I love that. I've learned that over time. I've learned that over time. Definitely haven't always exercised that, but. In critical times of my life when we've been able to, oh man, it has it has sown such such amazing seed and great blessings for us, truly.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

So as a woman in military leadership, what unique challenges have you faced and what advice would you give to young women entering male-dominated fields today?

SPEAKER_02 30:24

So I'm going to start with the first part of your question, and then we'll get to the male-dominated field. So I was sitting in a conference, I had just had my third child. I was at the time when I was in this conference, probably in a high of life. You know, my job was going well. I had changed jobs, but it was was in you know a really great opportunity. I just had my third kid. You know, I was sitting in this conference, and I listened to this lady um saying, Your greatest failure will be your greatest testimony. And I remember thinking, failure? Like, what are you talking about? Like, you know, I don't understand. And then I listened to a lady give testimony about how she failed, but then how the Lord helped her overcome. And I remember feeling honestly judgmental about her her failure and thinking, like, like, why would I mean and because we're talking about someone who was a profound, you know, Christian music artist. I mean, she had everything like at her fingertips. And I remember thinking, like, you had everything, and you still walked away from the Lord. And I didn't understand it at the time until I was ready to give up on everything. So about a year and a half, maybe a couple years from that, I felt like the world was like crashing on me. I found myself right back into that woe is me attitude that I thought I had overcome back in college when I had made my parents my God. And what's what's interesting about this moment is that I learned over time that now I was making my husband my God. Didn't understand at the time, but I started feeling like, like, why is life so hard? You know, as you know, being a mom, three kids, basically two jobs, because you're doing your full-time job and you're also drilling. Um, and sometimes those line up, not all the time. It was funny about this is like my husband was coming out of his second master's degree. We had just started planning a church. You would think that I was at the most spiritual height of life, but what I was doing was what I didn't realize what I was doing was I was turning particularly those things that were spiritual for me into work and not a relationship. And I had to learn that when I poured, when I when I saw everything as more transactional than relational, that it was taking me down a very negative spiritual pit again. Another woe is me. Like I'm doing everything for everybody, I'm giving my all. And I was honestly like lamenting with God. Like I was mad at God. I was like, Lord, if this is the life you have for me, when I when I'm basically, you know, pouring out my heart to you, I'm putting everything into you, I'm giving, like, I wouldn't even buy like a new pair of socks if that meant my kids could have, you know what I mean, warmer milk, right? Like just the heart of a mom that's just pouring everything, everything, everything into everyone except for yourself, right? Not being mindful of myself. And I and I thankfully we ended up in counseling. And thankfully, our counselors would separate us. They would, we would do marriage counseling, but then we would have individual counseling. And as part of my individual counseling, she says to me, you know, imagine yourself on a pendulum, and selfless is to one side and selfish is to the other side. Like you have found yourself in a place that you're so selfless, because in your mind you think selfless is honorable, is the most spiritual, is the most right thing to do. But you found yourself so far to one side that you almost had to snap and feel like complete failure and fall now into those complete selfish side before your pendulum can now fall somewhere closer to the middle. Because my heart at the time was very selfish. Like I wanted a divorce, I wanted to walk away from anything and everybody to include the military, except for my kids, because in my mind, I felt like they were the only people who didn't deserve, who didn't ask for any of this, right? I wanted to protect them, and that was all I had left in me when it came to feeling like love. And um, and it was so freeing to realize that once again I had made something, my God, that wasn't supposed to be my God. And in this case, now it was my husband. And because he wasn't, you know, um fulfilling every single you know, ounce of me or every single thing, or or or balancing everything that I thought that he should be balancing or operating in the way that I should, he should be operating, then I started to you know pour all my negativity in the wrong direction once again. And this opportunity opened up another transition and perspective, if you will, a healthier perspective and a healthier balance. And more importantly, like self-care. Like what are you doing to take care of yourself? Because a journey of motherhood is a journey of sacrifice indeed, and a journey of marriage is a journey of sacrifice indeed, and you start to give of yourself, but then if you don't have that right balance and understanding what it means to also take care of you, right, then you're gonna found you're gonna find your your plate just imbalanced altogether. And so again, and I just felt like complete failure because for the first time I wanted to give up and quit on everybody, and I was so angry and so mean and so destructive that I had to fall like again, like I had to fall on my face again. And what I learned through that is like the the the um the strength and lamenting, even the fact that I was angry with God and mad at him and and frustrated with him. I also learned through that spiritual journey that it's okay because that's still a relationship, right? Like a relationship is not unconditional. Love is not unconditional because we only give God what you know, we only celebrate and praise God when things are going well, right? He wants to hear the anger, he wants to hear the confusion, he wants to hear when you think like you're found back in that box again, and he wants to help free you from that and remind you that be and um that it's not always just about you. And I can tell you where I was when I was driving one day. I took a left turn and I heard his voice so clearly say, I am a jealous God, and I never understood those words until then. He says, I am a jealous God, and I will tear everything down around you if that's what it takes for you to see me and and and be with me. And it was like one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, like fresh water had just poured over my soul because I understood that when when people twist the jealousy of a God, because we want to make that a human jealousy, but a jealousy of an all-knowing, unconditional, loving father means that there's nothing negative that can come from abiding in him, right? Like abiding in him, that's eternal, abiding in him, that's heaven, abiding in him, that's freedom. And I needed to hear those words, and they were so clear and so beautiful to me that it just broke me down completely. And then I had to get on this path of what learning what self-forgiveness was, and that's not easy for us, especially for us high performers or type A personalities. And a lot of military females, that's who we are, right? We don't forgive ourselves well, and we don't overcome well, and so now take me into an environment that as you mentioned, like, how do you overcome what it means to be a female in a male-dominated field? And it's so funny that I just heard an interview today, believe it or not, um, in passing, as I was cleaning the house, I was listening to a lady say something along the lines of, like, why do you why do we allow ourselves to be put in this narrative where we can only be the only female that survives, you know, or that that succeeds in this field? And I remember sharing this with my female cadets too, especially the young um, and I share this with young leaders. Like, it's so funny to me how, like, in a male-dominated field, when a female enters that, it almost feels like the males want you to believe that only one or two of you can succeed in this environment. Instead of saying, we all can succeed. And so I grew up in a more toxic environment where females were almost always put against each other and they were almost always competing with each other as if there was only one slot to be held in that male environment. And that's not a true statement. And I thank the Lord that He He taught me early on like, no, you have to build each other up. There's room for all of you, and there's definitely room for all of you to succeed. So, why do you take in this narrative? Why do you believe this narrative? Don't allow that narrative to take hold and separate because the power of women when we come together and support each other, particularly in an environment that's not naturally built for us, is amazing. It's absolutely amazing. And what we bring to the table in an environment like that, the power of our unique experiences, the power of our heart, it's like a marriage, right? That's what makes a marriage great when you stop seeing each other as your competition and start seeing each other as your as your strengths are my weaknesses, and my weaknesses are your strengths. That's why we abnoy each other sometimes. Because I want your strengths as my strengths, and I want, you know, you know what I mean? And but if our weaknesses were each other's weaknesses, oh my gosh, this wouldn't work, right? Right. But and similarly so, in a military setting, when we're uh willing to see that in one another and build that team and build that camaraderie and work together for the greater good of the mission, right? And also the people, amazing things happen. Amazing things happen. But in my generation, I feel like when we were coming up, again, it was so toxic, so negative, females put it against females, but I see us absolutely in this generation coming out of that. I see us recognizing that and realizing that and trying to change that culture, that attitude, because that's what allows us to be better at succeeding, right? Supporting each other. I have no doubts that if you look back at my military career and you say, who did Colonel Drentry, and I hate calling myself that by the way, that's so cringy. Who did this senior leader build up throughout her career? I guarantee you that I do not believe, let me say that, let me not be overly arrogant. Let me say that I truly believe that people would be able to say it was male, it was female, it was, it was culture, it was race, agnostic, it was she built up people, she loved on people. That's what my prayer is, at least. That though I could identify the unique struggles, because I can identify, I know what it's like to be a minority. I know what it's like to be a minority of minorities, particularly being in the military. And I know what it's like to recognize that, to point that out, to speak to that and build that individual and want to speak life into that individual, just as much as I can say you don't understand what my struggle is, and that's okay. But if you're willing to hear my experience and I'm 100% willing to hear yours, great things can happen. Because I do believe that a lot of times we get so angry at people for not understanding what our experiences are like. But how can you if you weren't raised in that environment and you didn't live those shoes? The toxicity is when people refuse to want to understand, when they refuse to want to hear or to share or to or to admit it's different. That's where I think it gets toxic. But when we are willing, oh man, an open ear, an open heart, an open spirit to be willing to hear and understand your person to the left, your right of you, no matter what they look like, no matter where they came from, man, beautiful things happen. Beautiful things.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

So beautifully said. Thank you for that. What do you hope your children and the next generation of women leaders can take away from your story?

SPEAKER_02 42:57

I find great joy in seeing that some of those barriers that I felt overwhelming when we were younger don't appear to be as burdensome on our young people. And what I say that to say, I see young leaders in the military, for example, stepping into opportunities that weren't afforded to us necessarily, but they're stepping into those spaces with greater confidence. And they're willing to put themselves out there. And I know that is because of the people that have have worked really hard to want to set them up for success, who have been willing to endure whereas they are able to take advantage. For example, let me go back here. My husband and I always talk about how we were raised a certain way. We were latchkey kids. You know, my husband was raised in poverty. I wasn't necessarily raised in poverty, but we weren't, you know, super well off. We spent most of our life being probably lower middle class, inching our way towards middle class, you know what I mean? And my parents are doing you know very well now. We don't want to pour what we, you know, our trauma or a tragedy onto our kids. We want them to know that where you're at today and what your foundation is is a lifted version of where we were. Praise the Lord. So, how do we from this platform now build? How do we help you now on your foundation take the next step? And that's what I want to see in the leaders today. Like I don't want to bring them back to, oh, well, you know, back in our day. The only time I will bring up something like that, relatively speaking, is if I see young leaders having a hard time understanding and appreciating, especially where they're at. The things that they do for um our young soldiers now when they get pregnant. I love it. I love that they get a longer time. I love that there's now paternity leave. I love that they get more time to recover physically. I know that a lot of the things that I deal with physically, you know, to this day, is because you know, we we strive for excellence. We strive for excellence the moment you know we have that baby and thereafter to try to heal fast, work hard, and you know, we've probably beaten our bodies up more than we probably should have. So I love that there's now opportunities and there's there's rules and regulations now that give a little bit more grace in that area and just that one little area. That's huge. That's huge. But I would never look at a young soldier and be like, oh, yeah, of course, you know, um, of course you're you're succeeding because you got more time, or you get like that's so negative. Instead of saying, oh, this is an opportunity, take advantage of it, do great with it, because you can extend your career now. You have the opportunity now to heal better, right? To be a to be a stronger leader, to maybe last longer, because I'm sure there's plenty of women who weren't able to heal and and um quickly after their their babies, and so they had to say goodbye to their careers sooner than they would have ever wanted to. So take advantage of this. This is a great opportunity, and let's continue to build and let's make it even better for the next person because you are valued. What you bring to the table is of great value, and I want you to be in this career field, I want you to be in this this profession for as long as you're able to.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

When I think of the military, and correct me if I'm wrong, I think of toughness. So, how have you led differently bringing both strength and empathy into a space like that?

SPEAKER_02 46:44

So I I love to say that I am a woman who the Lord created a certain way, and I make no excuse for that, particularly in a male-dominated field. The Lord created me fearfully and wonderfully, and I make no excuse for that. Therefore, what I bring to the table, I had to learn over time is just as important that if I strive to be a man and try to be manly, if you will, that I was always gonna hit a wall because that's not who I was created to be or who I was built to be. Does that make sense? So I had to learn to find strength in everything that I that I did. I may not run as fast as my male counterpart, but I will try my darndest for as long as I possibly could have physically until my body started to break down. I was blessed to get through all three of my pregnancies and still be very physically fit for as long as I could have been. Nor would I ever use being a woman as an excuse. And that's a saying that I would share with my cadets um back in the day as well. Never make an excuse for being a woman. The Lord created you, He has given you great strengths that are great value, that round out, right, your team, your organization, your mission, your goals, but also don't use women as being an excuse. And what I mean by that is I'm like saying, oh, because I'm a woman, I can't do this, or because I'm a woman, I'm you know what I mean. Iraq is a great example. If we had to suck it up and figure out how to, how to I know this is gonna be very crass, urinate in our way, like urinating all over the desert. We had to figure it out, right? We had to focus on the mission, we had to get the mission done. But I you know what I mean, but I also would be very empathetic too. But if we but if we found a place where we could have a little bit more privacy, then I'm gonna figure out how to have more privacy and protect, you know what I mean, that that part of my so it's sometimes that's a challenge and it's tough, but that's where I had to constantly go back to that that phrase and that saying that I'm can't even tell you where I got it from, but I'm but I I sewed it into my heart. And so that's how I feel like I've navigated my military career. I think it's important to appreciate your strengths and to see what they are and bring them to the table, but then also appreciate right other strengths and what they bring to the table and figure out how to make it all work for the greater good and for the mission itself.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Colonel Gentry, I know you don't like the title, but I feel that you've earned it and you deserve to be addressed as such, a testament to your dedication to your country. Your journey is such a powerful reminder that perseverance isn't just about pushing through challenges, it's about staying anchored in what matters most: family, faith, and purpose. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your leadership, and thank you for sharing your story with such honesty and heart. To everyone listening, may you carry forward Colonel Gentry's example that resilience and authenticity are not separate from leadership, but at the very heart of it. When life asks you to choose between strength and compassion, choose both. That is fire in her eyes. Thank you for joining us, and until next time, keep walking forward with courage. Thank you for spending time with me today. If you enjoyed this content, please make sure you subscribe to this podcast and leave a quick review to help us share the message.