Behind the Scenes With the Van Es Family

What do you get when a radio show spinoff turns into a no-filter family chat?

JohnJay Van Es and his wife Blake sit down with their son Kemp, who takes over the interview chair with listener questions and his own take on growing up as one of three boys.

From hilarious “boy mom” moments and fart-joke confessions to heartfelt reflections on marriage, parenting, and family traditions, this episode is part comedy, part life lesson, and 100% real.

Pull up a seat at the table and join the conversation then subscribe so you don’t miss more unfiltered family episodes just like this.

Transcript

Special Podcast Introduction

Speaker 1 0:05

Okay, so welcome to our podcast. This is a little bit different today, because this podcast is a spinoff of our radio show. This is a special edition. This is two things going on here. This is a special edition. This is two things going on here. This is a special edition of the John J Van Ness podcast and also a special edition of the John J and Rich Couples Therapy podcast.

Speaker 1 0:37

Now, every week on the radio show, we rotate couples and they interview each other and we drop them on Sundays, and this is the second time I'm interviewing my wife, blake. Hello, hello, how are you? I'm good. Thanks, how are you Good? Um, but we're gonna do a little different, is that sure? Her and I are going to talk a little bit, interview each other and talk about whatever's going on, but our son camp is here and I posted on Instagram ask us any questions about the podcast, about anything about our relationship, and a bunch of people messaged in and I sent those all to Kemp. So Kemp's going to ask us questions, but at the same time, kemp, there's things that we could talk about without going to questions. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 1:16

So how are you Kemp? Of course I'm great.

Speaker 1 1:18

Yeah, Great yeah.

Speaker 3 1:25

How do you feel about interviewing your parents?

Speaker 2 1:25

I'm glad to be here. This is hopefully not going to be gross, hopefully we're good.

Speaker 3 1:27

I've read some of these questions beforehand and I'm trying to already wean out ones your audience might be a little disgusting. Really, what is there? A gross one just asking about how attracted you are to each other why is that gross, that's gross as a kid sitting here interviewing his parents. That's disgusting and I might have to cancel that one out now. What does it say? How attracted are you?

Speaker 1 1:52

to each other. I didn't even read it, I just said it to you See, you took it in a different way.

Speaker 2 1:57

I would have been attracted. I think he's handsome, what I deal with on a daily basis.

Speaker 3 2:02

I understand where he was going to take that question. Your mom has phenomenal breasts gross we're going to wrap up the podcast now as a short edition what is wrong with you?

Speaker 2 2:14

I need to get out of here see, we do things totally different. What is wrong with you, good god go ahead, kev.

Speaker 1 2:24

is there anything you, as one of our children, with you? Good God, all right. So go ahead. Go ahead, kev. Go ahead, let's start. Or is there anything that you, as one of our children, would like to ask your parents a question about?

Speaker 2 2:30

anything as the most amazing middle child ever.

Speaker 3 2:34

I mean, I spend a lot of time with you guys and so I feel like we have a great relationship parents and son, where I feel like I've asked any question I actually have.

Speaker 1 2:45

Do you think that you spent too much time with us and that's why you didn't invite me to the movies with you last week?

Speaker 3 2:50

Mom told me this. I remember. Mom told me this statistic one time about how, when your kid goes to college, they've spent 95% of the time with you already. And I think mine was almost opposite, where once I got to college, I spent more time with you guys.

Speaker 2 3:06

Does it bother you that we come visit you all the time? No okay, good, no, I like you, but you didn't invite me to the movies.

Speaker 1 3:12

The other day I didn't, you went by yourself.

Speaker 3 3:13

I went by myself, I know I was available can you let that go? It's all right, man, I also made him dinner the other night that's good.

Speaker 1 3:23

Thank you for that. Okay, let's ask some of the questions. John Jay and Rich Couples Therapy Podcast. Blake and John Jay being interviewed by Kemp Van Ness.

Speaker 3 3:31

So we'll start with what's your favorite attribute about each other? Not attractive. What's your favorite attribute?

Speaker 1 3:37

I don't know what that means. What does that mean?

Speaker 2 3:45

Like characteristic of your life. Okay, you go first, hon. Okay, I think my favorite is that you're very funny and you make life very interesting.

Speaker 1 3:54

I don't understand what an attribute is.

Speaker 2 3:56

Like a characteristic, like how nice mom is. Yeah mom's very nice, and she's actually what's the characteristic of me that you like best.

Favorite Attributes and Parenting Reflections

Speaker 1 4:03

You're so kind, you're so smart. I think that you're a very strong woman. You are one of the strongest women I've ever met and the strong side that a lot of people don't know, um, I I like that a lot. And forgiving, extremely forgiving. You've had to forgive me for many, many, many things.

Speaker 2 4:27

Yes, I have See, that was perfect, was it?

Speaker 3 4:29

That was so sweet, was it sweet?

Speaker 2 4:30

Yeah, it was sweet Aw.

Speaker 1 4:33

You know, I did this interview on a TV station that's going to run on Father's Day and they asked me and I wasn't ready for it they were just like, hey, tell us, what is it what's important? I can't remember the question. They asked me Something about being a dad. What's the important thing about being a dad? Give us a couple things about being a dad. And I was like I think it's important for my sons to see me love on their mom, there's a bit of a limit.

Speaker 1 4:58

But yes, I agree, there's a bit of a limit, no, but I mean to see me respect your mom, love on your mom, hold her hand, open the door for her. And I see that with you and your girlfriend, Like I see you doing things, and then mom's like where does he get that? I'm like hello from the man, From the man.

Speaker 3 5:16

Anyway, go on Next question Any advice for a new boy mom?

Speaker 2 5:21

Oh my gosh, A new boy mom. Well, I grew up with three girls, so boys are weird, um. But the beautiful thing is is, according to kevin lehman and the birth order book, you have that relationship with the opposite sex as a mom that is. That is beyond. So moms and their sons have this relationship that can't be done anywhere else. So that's what you have to look forward to.

Speaker 1 5:49

So what's the question again? What's the advice you have for a first-time?

Speaker 3 5:51

boy mom. Any advice for a new boy mom?

Speaker 1 5:54

Yeah, I would say if you're, as a dad, watching your mom's relationship with your three boys, she just loves you guys immensely. And what's funny is being a boy mom. I've seen your mom from not being a mom and being. You know pretty. What's the word I'm looking for? Stiff what? To loosening up and being way laid back more than you were when we first started dating.

Speaker 2 6:21

Because you don't have a choice, right, that's what I mean With fart jokes, butt jokes.

Speaker 1 6:25

You know gross things sports. You just kind of your defenses come down and you're way more laid back.

Speaker 2 6:31

And if you get down to it, boys are weird, you are, you're all just weird.

Family Vacations and Annoyances

Speaker 3 6:36

Okay, favorite family vacation.

Speaker 1 6:44

Favorite family vacation.

Speaker 2 6:47

I think one of them was the motorhome trip. It was so fun Through Montana, through Yellowstone. Yeah, that was so fun, that was pretty amazing, but that was scary.

Speaker 1 6:56

as the driver of that trip, I'll never forget driving through the beginning part of Montana, going through the mountains and being like a two-way road and to my right it's just one, one wrong move and it's all the way down. You remember that kemp.

Speaker 3 7:12

I remember you flashing a buffalo I remember the buffalo saying it's the biggest he's ever seen I'm sure uh, I think one of my favorite family vacations is when we don't go on vacation, we stay home.

Speaker 2 7:26

That's, that's my favorite, that's so boring. I love it, the other one was Puerto Vallarta, that was fun.

Speaker 1 7:32

Puerto Vallarta was incredible. That was incredible. But there was another family with us, it was my sister. But I mean that was fun. But I do like the families, I like when we do stuff. Just the five of us. That's my favorite, yeah, yeah. What about you? What's your favorite vacation?

Speaker 3 7:47

Um, I mean, my favorite that comes to mind immediately is I liked, I mean we go to San Diego every year, but like last year, san Diego was like my favorite Cause, like we're now like at the age where, like, we're all just like boys me, jake and Dutch, so it's not like like we just get to hang out and like- each other rather than trying to beat the shit out of each other so it's kind of nice, that's good. How do you handle it when your partner does something that annoys you?

Speaker 2 8:16

We make fun of it. So, like John Jay has trouble chewing out loud and we all make fun. Where did that happen? I don't know when did that start, but it's so loud it's like you're frantically chewing all the time.

Speaker 1 8:30

Kemp made this video the other day where you made the cookies. Did you see the complaints I got so many?

Speaker 2 8:34

complaints. You were frantically chewing again.

Speaker 1 8:36

I was so chewing all loud and stuff and I was like where did that come from?

Speaker 3 8:40

Dutch. I don't know if Dutch is the first one to ever bring it up. Yeah, leave the room if you're chewing too loud. No, wait, say the question again. What do you, what? How do you handle it when your partner does things that annoy you?

Speaker 2 8:53

I said we make fun of it.

Speaker 1 8:54

To a certain point. But like sometimes mom does stuff that annoys me and I don't say anything, I'm going to wait.

Speaker 3 8:59

I got one, what. What do you do when mom is reading while you're trying to go to sleep?

Speaker 2 9:04

Oh, he has to say I've already removed her from the bed.

Speaker 1 9:06

She goes to read somewhere else now, isn't?

Speaker 2 9:10

that rude. I know, but I want to read and fall asleep.

Speaker 3 9:14

One main part of sleeping is the lights need to be off.

Speaker 1 9:18

Last night Mom was kind to go read in another part of our bedroom, right, but when she came to bed I woke up and I'm like that's interrupting my sleep and it's such a bummer Because I had a crappy sleep score. It's like I think you're like me now, kemper. It's like I'm just so focused on trying to get the best night's sleep as possible, like get the best quality sleep so I can perform when the show starts, and even more on the weekends, like this last weekend we were at this wedding and we had a good time, but, man, it jacked up my sleep. Like I'm wiped out now and it's because of the wedding Saturday night and then it's because of picking up mom from the airport Thursday night.

Speaker 2 9:53

It's always my fault, yep, you notice.

Speaker 3 9:56

Next question Are you guys ready for the empty nest?

Empty Nest and Future Grandparenting

Speaker 2 9:59

Well, we were, and we were jumping up and down, but it's not emptying anymore, so who knows when it'll empty?

Speaker 1 10:08

You are in hawaii. Dutch is going to tucson. Jake still has a year left at university of arizona and he's decided to do that last year at home, online, so he moved back home. So it's going to be different with jake at home. So we're not, but he also is very independent, so we can still leave and go do stuff.

Speaker 3 10:27

No. Now, what are any favorite spots and or memories from Tucson?

Speaker 2 10:35

So many great memories. The Weddow is one of our favorite spots. Locanello, yes.

Speaker 1 10:40

Sullivan's Steakhouse what's that one?

Speaker 2 10:41

called Sullivan's Steakhouse, mr On's.

Speaker 1 10:44

Mr On's One of my favorite memories I had so many favorite memories in Tucson from this one place was the Tucson Racquet Club.

Speaker 2 10:52

Oh yeah, the Friday night family night.

Speaker 1 10:54

We would go there all the time and hang out and go in the pool, in the little kiddie pool, and you guys would just barely stand in the water and then we'd hang out in the grass. I don't know if there'd be a band or music.

Speaker 2 11:01

There was a band.

Speaker 1 11:08

There was music. I love Tucson so much.

Speaker 3 11:10

What's been your favorite phase of parenting? Like what age were the kids the hardest?

Speaker 2 11:16

Well, you guys were hardest when you were little. My favorite phase is right now, because it's so fun to see you guys grow into nice young men adults.

Speaker 1 11:26

It is, but I also miss them so young, when they were so young, like when Kemp, you always wanted to go throw the ball. You always wanted to play catch. You never stopped. You always wanted Dad, can we go play catch? Or we'd throw the football. And you'd want to throw the football until my arm hurt, like I'd be like, oh my God, this kid and I would just throw it over and over and over. I mean we're talking in hours throwing the football. Right, I missed that. That was, that was fun. But also now watching you guys, your trajectory, trajectory as young men, you know, seeing your path, where you're going, jake's path, dutch's path, like it's.

Speaker 3 12:02

It's also a very fun time two people asked this question are you looking forward to being grandparents, and who do you think will be the first to start a family?

Speaker 2 12:10

Oh, I can't wait to be a grandma Are you kidding me? But not for a little bit. I need a couple years, no. But, I am so excited about that and I think it's very clear who's going to be the first one and that's going to be you unless Dutch is by accident.

Speaker 1 12:32

No-transcript. But who knows who?

Speaker 3 12:37

knows he's in Vegas right now. He could take the Dutch route. He'd like to hang over. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 12:43

I hope it's not for a long time.

Speaker 3 12:46

Another part to that question could be how does it make you feel that Dutch is having sex in your house?

Speaker 2 12:50

Oh, my God what. I don't want to answer that I'm very disturbed about this whole conversation.

Speaker 1 13:01

You know we'd like to pass on that question.

Speaker 2 13:03

Yes, thank you.

Speaker 3 13:05

How do you guys keep up the romance? Hello?

Speaker 1 13:10

Well. I think date night, we go on date night yeah your mom likes to dress up as different characters in the bedroom. I know.

Speaker 2 13:16

What is wrong with you?

Speaker 1 13:18

Mary Poppins. Or my favorite is Wendy's from from wendy's burgers, right when he's fast food. What that's so gross you're so wrong.

Speaker 3 13:28

Okay, go on to the next one what you didn't have an answer to that one mom tell me that I got distracted how do you guys keep up the romance?

Speaker 2 13:36

oh, we go on date nights. We We've been able to go and have trips lately Sometimes she likes it when I dress up like a Japanese businessman, stop it what.

Speaker 3 13:51

Who was our very first dog?

Speaker 2 13:52

Our very first dog, tugs.

Speaker 1 13:55

Our very first dog was Tugs.

Speaker 2 13:57

It was Tugs.

Speaker 1 13:57

But as a family we had Tugs and Rosie, and then all three of the boys were born right, and then Rosie passed, tugs passed, rosie passed. So Harvey might have been the first dog we got as a family.

Speaker 2 14:09

No, Harvey and Lego. Lego came shortly after.

Speaker 3 14:13

Lolly was before Lego, wasn't she? Oh, Lolly I think it was Harvey, and then Lolly Harvey Lolly. I think it was Harvey Harvey Lolly Lego. This person would love some advice on raising her boys to be friends with each other and root for each other.

Speaker 2 14:27

Well, I think one of the things that we have encouraged you guys is to talk to each other. So, like when you went off to college and Jake went off to college, we constantly are saying hey, have you talked to Jake, have you talked to Kemp, have you talked to Dutch? And normally the answer is no and so no, you guys send memes to each other.

Speaker 1 14:43

I wish you'd send words, but Do you guys have a brother's group chat?

Speaker 3 14:46

We do, but it's not really chatted in much, it's more individual. I like to think I do the best job of keeping up with everybody.

Speaker 1 14:51

With everybody.

Speaker 3 14:52

I'll call Jake and he Dutch, responds pretty quickly. Oh, that's good, jake never calls me back ever Dude?

Speaker 1 15:02

he doesn't. It's very rare for him to respond to a text or he'll do it 24 hours later.

Speaker 3 15:05

Every time he calls me back. He's been at Illegal Pete's in Tucson. Oh, every time it's like he walks into Illegal Pete's and goes oh, I need to call Kent back.

Speaker 1 15:13

Yeah, well, good, keep it. Keep the connection going, so when you guys are older you'll hang out.

Speaker 3 15:18

Well, speaking of you, were getting on me for not inviting you to the movie. They bailed on me movie night the other day. What's it? Feel like it feels like I was going to go by myself, because I enjoy time by myself.

Speaker 1 15:27

You know there was an article in the news about a guy who went to go see Lilo and Stitch by himself and some woman complained. He was sitting there by himself eating a snack watching Lilo and Stitch.

Speaker 3 15:35

That's so jacked up and she complained.

Speaker 1 15:37

I was like, I think, kemp's doing that that might have been me.

Speaker 3 15:39

Kemp's going to Lilo and Stitch by himself. There's nothing like seeing a movie by yourself.

Speaker 1 15:44

I love it.

Speaker 3 15:44

Midday on a Wednesday.

Speaker 2 15:46

I know, that is awesome.

Speaker 1 15:47

When mom and I first met, and I was a salesperson, I would go to the movies all the time. Mutant Ninja 2. Mutant Ninja 2 by myself at the theater in Chula.

Speaker 3 16:00

Vista.

Speaker 1 16:00

You didn't invite your dad? No, but my dad would go, because my dad would fall asleep in the movies all the time and start snoring really loud, but I would go to the movies with my dad quite a bit. Thank you, are there any more questions? There was not any more questions, that's it, there were no more. Yeah, this is Rob. Okay, so welcome to our podcast. This is a little bit different today, because this podcast is a spinoff of our radio show.