The Spiritual Practices That Saved My Life | Spirituality vs. Religion

There is a difference between performing your faith and living it — and Aunty Charmaine spent years not knowing the difference.

In this solo teaching episode, she gets honest about growing up doing everything right — the church, the songs, the pew, the performance — and still feeling completely empty. And she testifies to the moment that changed everything and the five daily spiritual practices that rebuilt her life, her business, and her calling from the inside out.

This episode draws on the ancient wisdom of The Odyssey — the story of a man who spent twenty years trying to get home — and connects it directly to the spiritual journey every Soul Tribe member is on right now. You will hear about the Sirens that pull you off course, the Penelope inside you that has been holding the vision, and the daily practice that becomes the mast you tie yourself to when the noise gets loud.

In this episode Aunty Charmaine covers: The honest difference between religion and spirituality. Why performing faith leaves you exhausted and disconnected from GOD Source. The five daily practices — stillness, ancestral connection, body as sacred ground, the power of words, and sacred community — that rebuilt everything. What ancestral wisdom has to do with your daily practice. And the one question every listener needs to answer before this week is over.

This episode is for the person who was raised in church but something feels missing. The person who left religion and does not know what to call themselves now. The person who is somewhere in between and is finally ready to build something daily, intentional, and entirely their own.

Your next step starts here:

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

I want you to think about the last time you were sitting in a service, a religious gathering, and you felt nothing. Not because God was not real, but because the connection felt like a performance instead of a conversation. I know that feeling. I've lived that for many, many years. Today I need to have an honest conversation about the difference between religion and spirituality because that difference changed my entire life. This is not an attack on faith. This is an invitation to go deeper than the surface of it. Welcome to the Soul Tribe Podcast. I want to take you back to who I was before I understood who I was and what I am and what I am about to share with you. I did everything right. I showed up, I sang songs, I sat in the pews and said the right things to the right people. But I was empty, performing, going through the motions that looked holy on the outside and felt hollow on the inside. Sitting next to the very people who was hanging out the night before and partying and coming into church with the clothes they had on from the party the night before. Now it wasn't for me to judge, and I knew I loved God. I just did not know how to access that love outside of the steeple and the schedule. It was something about going to church every Sunday, and you clap hands and you amen, and you're waiting almost for a feeling to take you over, to engulf you, to invite you to this euphoric experience that you hope for every day. And then there comes a point when hard times came, real hard times. The religion I had been practicing did not have the tools to hold me. I felt almost like a weed blowing in the wind. And when I went to church to get the help that I needed, the prayers that was living within the church, they almost seemed as hollow as I was on the inside. And then there was some needed breakthrough, some real growth that I had longed for. And you go to your assistant pastor, you go to your deacon, you go to the pastor, and you're looking for all of this insight, this guidance, this wisdom that you're anticipating that they have gained, they have learned from, they have grown into. And there is almost like a feeling of getting to know your hero and realizing that they're not a hero at all. They're just a man. And it makes you feel as though there is nobody here to help you. There is no one here to assist you. That was the moment I realized I needed to build something greater than what I had. It had to go beyond the confines of the four walls of the church. Something that was mine, something that was personal, something that worked on a Tuesday morning when nobody was watching. So therefore, I could not wait for someone to fix me. I had to almost come naked, bare bones and all, and really, I needed to really do the work of self-discovery. Now, at that time, I was wise enough to understand that there was more to these experiences that I was having. I knew that there was a reason for them, and I knew that I had to figure out what that reason was. And as life continued to life within my life, I found myself one day taking a hike in a state park, and I was able to slow my life down for the first time, I think, in my lifetime. It was when I was in my late 30s when I said to myself, okay, look, I can't take anymore. The life that I thought I had, the life that I knew I needed was not coexisting as it should. Every time I was helping others, I felt like I was the one in need of help. And at that park, I remember crying out, and I didn't give a damn if it was people walking in the park, hiking in the park with the little dogs. I sat in that state park and I cried a cry from the inner parts of my core, and it didn't matter if others were embarrassed for me. I sat in contemplation for hours as I looked at this lake, and as I bared my soul, I saw Charmaine, you cannot stay this way, my dear. I need you to go to the genesis of what the church taught you. And I saw it, I caught it, that it wasn't for me to follow the preacher, it wasn't for me to follow their stories, it was for me to go back to the being that they had talked about on that Sunday morning and in Bible study. It was for me to go to the prime creator and really say from a sincere place, now, Lord, I don't know what in the world is going on, but I can't live like this no more. I cannot stay like this anymore. My soul feels empty. I am not fulfilled, and I am pouring from an empty cup, and now I am not able to pour anymore. I'm depleted. Fix it. Make me over again. And I kept playing that gospel song in my head. Make me over again. Because I was tired of being the way that I was. It was in that moment when I realized: okay, I am gonna sit on this bench and I am not gonna move until I hear from you. I am not leaving this space, this place, this park until I have breakthrough, and I don't give a damn if it starts getting dark. I cannot be this way any longer. I was reminded of a story that I had read to my children and required them to read. That story is 2,700 years old and it's called the Odyssey. And Odysseus spent 20 years trying to get home after the Trojan War. Twenty years of storms, twenty years of monsters, gods working against him, and the voices trying to pull him off course. At one point, he sailed past the sirens, creatures whose voices were so beautiful that every sailor who heard them steer towards the rocks and died. Odysseus himself knowing of the sirens being who they were and their capabilities. Odysseus had himself tied to the masts of his ship, so the sound could not move him. And lo and behold, he heard the sirens. He felt the pull, but he had already anchored himself to something stronger than the noise. Religion without a personal practice can be a siren. It sounds beautiful, it calls to you, but if it's pulling you away from your own inner knowing, it is steering you towards the rocks. And while Odysseus was gone, his wife Penelope held the vision. Twenty years she never stopped believing he was coming home. When the whole world had told her to give up. Isn't it funny how outside voices always seem to tell you to go against what you're supposed to do? It's amazing to me how the outer world loses faith, but that of a person who knows that inner vision, who is constantly connected to that inner voice, will hold on to faith to the very end. Your daily practice is what you tie yourself to. Your inner vision, your inner voice is what Penelope was holding. In home, the real you, the sovereign you is where you try to return to. Look at how much time you've wasted. Look at all the things you've done. Look at all the time you've spent waiting on Odysseus to come on home. How many times have we missed out on our blessings because we if we have ignored that inner voice and we have allowed ourselves to listen to the sirens and to listen to the outside voices, the naysayers, those dream killers who can't seem to hold on to their own dreams? So, since they can't hold on to their dreams, they want you to give up on yours. What is it that's in the power of having faith and literally going off the beaten path where all those who have given up lie and then trusting in the path that you were meant to be on the entire time? I realize that it's in that moment when you realize, oh my God, what the hell am I doing? What am I doing? Spirit gave me the inner vision, that inner voice. So clearly it is wanting to connect with me to keep that inner vision and that inner voice connection going. And who's to say, maybe you were meant to teach the naysayers, the dream killers, the importance of holding on to those dreams so they can return back to those inner voices within that has been trying to guide them this entire time, but they have been drowning out those voices. It's something about that, y'all. It's something about understanding the distinction between religion and spirituality. So religion gives you structure, it gave me structure, spirituality gave me a relationship. The structure was what I needed because it kept me from learning at baseline. But spirituality gave me the relationship that allowed manifestation to come because the relationship is what needed to be cultivated. Religion told me what to do, but spirituality taught me how to do it, how to hear, how to connect. What were the mechanisms in which to connect? What was it? Was it the guided meditations? Was it the bearing of my soul? Was it me saying right then and there and removing the ego and saying, Spirit, I'm not leaving until you bless me. I am not moving from this spot until I receive breakthrough because I can't stay like this any longer. Religion pointed me outward. Spirituality required me to go inward. And it's funny because inward is something that was always hard for me because my mind would wander, I would think about the 500 things that I needed to do, the clothes needed to be washed, the kids needed to be picked up, food needed to be cooked, the man needed to have his needs met. None of which I interceded or interjected myself into what I needed. I was always willing to self-sacrifice, put myself last for the benefit of others. And it was in my late 30s where I realized and recognized what a disservice I had done to myself. Because religion teaches you to sacrifice for the benefit and the betterment of others. It never teaches you to empower yourself in the importance of self coming first and understanding that if self does not come first, you cannot honestly be of service to anyone else. Now, I am not here to tear down anyone's faith. Your relationship with the divine creator is your own, and I honor that completely. But what I am saying to you at this point, that there comes a point where faith is no longer some kind of a fictional character, some kind of an idea. It doesn't become an idealism. It has to be a living practice, something that you connect to every single day because every day you live, you need to hear from that inner voice. And even if it is something as simple as, get the hell up. I know you done fell down. It's all right, it's all right. Cry your tears, you're gonna be all right. You dust those knees off. Now I want you to sit still because I got a message for you. Even if it's no more than who told you you had to struggle? Stop looking over there, go over here. Even if it was no more than girl, feed them kids some pizza, you eat yourself a salad, and you sit in my presence. I got a message for you. And even when everything you're doing seems impossible, hear me. Even when everything you see or feel or seemingly are reaching for seems impossible, if it is coming from within, you need to connect with the Penelope within. And you need to hold on to the vision, to the voice, because it is guiding you to the very place you need to be and understand you have got to learn that every inner vision is not for the outer world. A lot of times we get discouraged because we don't know how to shut the hell up. We tell people our inner visions, and because they cannot perceive something so great, so grand, so wonderful, so understanding, so filled with so much, they start to plant the seeds of doubt within you. They become the sirens that you welcomed in because if you just been quiet and learned the importance of not telling your left hand what your right hand is doing, you would be so much further. And I realize that. Because guess what, baby? The proof is in the pudding. If you learn how to just manifest quietly, you would have tied yourself to the mass of your ship and you would have allowed something greater than yourself to steer you in the right direction. I was outsourcing my connection to the prime creator, to building schedules and other people's interpretations of what my life should look like. The day I stopped outsourcing it and started building it daily, everything changed. Practical spirituality means your spiritual life works when nobody is watching, when the doors are closed, when the music stops, when it's just you in the infinite one at 5 in the a.m. When there is hurt and harm in the heart and it's the witching hour at 3 a.m. and you are needing guidance, that is where the voice is the loudest. You know what was so funny? I was reminded of a passage in the scriptures, and David said, Ur early in the morning do I rise. Why? Because the world is quiet in the middle of the night. Life is still. And I am not leaving until I get a word planted in my soul. I need to be like a tree planted by the waters because I got to learn how not to be movable. Because right now I need breakthrough. So, what are the five practices that I will encourage you that really helped me, that really rebuilt my life from the inside out? And I am going to be very specific. This is not going to be a vague testimony that is meant to help sometimes, but not all the time. Because I found that a lot of times vague leaves people numb. It leaves you more confused than you were when you came. So practice number one, stillness. Every morning before the world got in, just me and the prime creator. No performance, no agenda, just arrival. So in the mornings, I wake up, I brush my teeth, I wash my face, and I make myself a cup of matcha, and I make it exactly like I love. And I have some rocking chairs on my back porch, and I sit on my back porch and I rock in that chair for hours. And I pour out what is disturbing me, what I am grateful for, all of the victories that I have overcome. I acknowledge all of these things and I wait in stillness for that inner voice. See, you cannot hear the inner voice if you never stop moving long enough to listen. So it was in the stillness where the relationship was built. And I realized that it was important for me throughout my day to make moments for the stillness. So five o'clock in the morning, six o'clock in the morning, I'm sitting there and I'm communicating. But it is still throughout my day where I pause, when something comes up, when I need a task that needs to be finished, when there is a conversation that is hard that I need to have, when there is an action that requires me to be emboldened, I still make time for the stillness. Practice number two, ancestral connection. One thing I have learned and understand and overstand is that you are your ancestors, and your ancestors are you. So I had a great grandmother, and I talk a lot about her on my podcast, and we called her Big Grandma. And I learned a lot from Big Grandma in a short period of time that she was in my life. Now, Big Grandma was born in 1909 in a small town in North Carolina called Bear Washington, and now it's just Washington, North Carolina. And she had seen World War I, World War II, the Great Depression, every recession, the civil rights movement, Jim Crow, she saw it all. And by the time I came into existence, that lady had a sweetness, a kindness that no matter the challenge she faced, whether personal or outside of herself, one thing she had was the infinite one. She had a God source that was so prevalent and strong in her life that no matter what, she understood the importance of steering herself to the ship that she traveled on. So she tied herself to the mass of her ship, and she knew that in order to make it to safety, she had to have something greater than herself steering her. I learned that I was not doing this work alone. I learned that that big grandma, she was a part of me, and I was a part of her lineage, and I carried all of the things in me that was necessary because it passed down through the bloodline. I am encouraging you to stop performing. Connect with your ancestors, your grandmothers, your grandfathers who knew when challenging times came, it was important to get still. A lot of times you would find old folks would go for a walk, or they would tell you, just sleep on it. You'll get the answer in the morning. You'll find that it's these old practices that they knew worked, and if it worked for them, it will work for you. Practice number three: the body as sacred ground. I had to stop treating my body as something to push through and start treating it as the vessel that the vision lived in. A lot of times we are taught, just push through, push through, you're gonna make it through, just push through. But what if it's in the pushing through that is bringing the confusion? What if I need a long spiritual bath with Epsom salt and anointing oils in Florida water to allow myself a good cleanse because I've absorbed too much? What if I am empathic? What if I have these spiritual gifts and talents, and they are directly connected to how I treat my body, this vessel, this temple that God lives in, and it can only connect with you when you also connect with the body? What happens when you learn to be kinder, to be more gentle to the body, and to allow your body the rest that it needs, to allow your body the good rub down that it needs? What if you need to pour the minerals back into your body in order for it to work as it needs to? Taking the proper vitamins, eating the right things, drinking plenty of water, so that way the conduit that is connected to the water in your body, you can connect with. So no longer do I say things like, girl, I'm falling apart. Hell no, not me. Baby, let me tell you, Charmaine is powerful, and any and everything I teach is powerful, and I want you to be empowered. So I am giving you permission. I am giving you encouragement, and I am empowering you to take your words back. Take the same time that it took to speak words that did not work for your benefit. Now take the time to undo all of it. So, what do I mean by that? Sacred Spirit, with your power, do I cleanse all ill will, all negativity, all negative words that I have put out in the environment and in the atmosphere, whether towards myself or towards others? I ask you to cleanse those words. Put those words away from me and allow it to return to me cleansed. So blessed be. It is something about understanding the power of words, and I've learned the power of herbs. So no longer do I pray empty because I know that there is power in beloved earth mother. And so I will take three cloves of garlic and I will boil that garlic down with three cloves, and I will boil it down into a tea, and I'll drink it and pray cleansing words over my tongue. Because I know when words come from this mouth, it literally defies gravity. It can move mountains, it can bring a person to its knees. It is a sword that cuts going and coming. And practice number five, the importance of sacred community. Odysseus needed his crew. He could not have survived the journey alone. I had to find people doing the same inner work and stop the isolation that spiritual growth can create. It can be lonely, it can be lonesome, it can feel like confusion, it can feel as though you are literally on a boat steering it by yourself. It can make you feel isolated. All of the things that does not bring fulfillment, it doesn't bring empowerment, it makes you feel confused. And it's in those times when I realized that if you ask, you will receive. So I asked. And let me tell you, baby, I received. Do you understand? I received a community of people who were looking and seeking for the same enlightenment, who was looking and seeking the same connection, who was doing the work. And spirituality was not something that was a chore to do. It was a lifestyle that was willingly lived. And sometimes, unfortunately, when you're not on the same path with the old lifestyle, the old friends no longer fit. So a lot of times we don't realize that with spirituality, it also requires us to cleanse house. You cannot build a new home on an old foundation where there are cracks, when there are missing pieces, when there looks like the foundation is not solid. These are the five spiritual practices that kept me grounded as I moved throughout this life. So, what these practices did for my real life, they changed how I make decisions. I stopped reacting from fear and started moving from knowing. They changed my relationship with money. I stopped operating from a place of scarcity and started operating from alignment. They changed how I showed up for this community, my soul tribe. I cannot pour from a place I have not visited myself. They changed my relationship with hard seasons. I stopped asking why is this happening to me and started asking, what is this teaching me? At the end of the Odyssey, Odysseus arrives home, but home looks different. People gave up, the houses was taken over, but he knew who he was, and that knowing allowed him to reclaim everything. That is what the daily practices gave me, a knowing the world could not take. I'm not telling you the hard seasons went away. Not by any means. I'm telling you, I stopped being destroyed by them. My world wasn't falling apart because of them. And that is what I'm trying to share with you. So you do not have to choose between your faith and your spiritual growth, but you do have to be honest about whether what you are practicing is actually working. If you are showing up, showing out every Sunday and still feeling disconnected, still feeling empty, this is not information, not failure. This is you and your soul having a conversation that you are needing something more. The vision inside you cannot access it without a daily practice. Odysseus made it home, not because the journey was easy, because he never stopped orientating himself toward home, constantly being reminded of going home. Your closure, your closing question, what daily practice am I willing to commit to? That is entirely up to you, entirely your intention, and entirely up to your inner life. I started with something simple: a prayer and an incent. That is literally how I started my practice. One prayer and one incense a day, and then it grew into something magnificent. Start yours with writing something down. Start tomorrow. Start small as long as you start. I trust what I find there. There lies my answer. The noise has had enough of my time. My inner voice has been patient. It is time to let it lead. I love you, Soul Tribe, and I'm so proud of you, and I'm so proud of us. And I am so thankful and grateful for this relationship and connection we share. And before I let you go, I need you to do one thing for me right now. Visit SoulTribe.media, where we have grown into an amazing space and an amazing place because it is in these podcasts, the articles, the classes, the in-person community connections that we have every single month that allows us to grow, connect, and build the camaraderie that we're seeking. So go and explore it right now, y'all. It is phenomenal. And after this episode, walk through what we built for you. These sacred tools are not just ideas, they are real actions, and you can connect with that also at beadsandpotions.com. We created an amazing tea called Peace Be Still, and it literally is a combination of herbs that will fortify your nervous system and calm you down instantly. It opens you up to the importance of it. And guess what? If you're listening to this podcast episode, click in to it with our coupon code called SoulFam, and it'll give you a 20% off discount because I love you for real. I'll see you on the next episode, y'all. Peace and love, y'all. Hey Soul Tribe. Welcome to Soul Tribe Media, where ancestral wisdom meets modern storytelling and every piece of content was created with you in mind. Join us monthly for a day in a life with Auntie, where she opens up the doors and brings you along for the highs and the lows and the real moments of her spiritual journey. Every week, the OKUniverse I Hear You blog meets you right where you are. Real talk, honest, real, and rooted. Read it and reflect on it. Subscribe to the Soul Tribe Podcast, dropping every week real conversations about spirituality, healing, purpose, and unfiltered work of becoming your highest self. Sign up for BMP Chronicles, our monthly newsletter that goes deeper than the feed ever could. This is where the real wisdom lives. Don't miss it. Pull up every week on TikTok for Tea Time with Auntie. Grab your cup, get comfortable, and get ready. Because we are getting into it. Every Sunday, meet Auntie on YouTube for Soul Tribe Sunday, fresh off the trail, straight from the heart. 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