Cows In The Shop, Feelings In The Office

We move from frozen pumps and calves in the shop to the deeper work of turning a family farm into a disciplined business with clear roles, healthy boundaries, and a resilient plan. Markets are tough, margins are thin, and we choose structure, community, and courage over constant crisis.

• cold snap stories and calving wins
• market report fallout and cash flow choices
• phones ringing and carving quiet time
• treating the farm like a business
• marketing plans, budgeting, and systems
• redefining roles and dropping old scripts
• boundaries that protect focus and energy
• adaptability without living in crisis mode
• equipment costs, debt, and cooperation
• community over competition for resilience
• stepping into a new identity with purpose
• inviting audacious dreams into the calendar

Send me an email. I'd love to hear them. farmersgreatestasset@gmail.com. Tell us what new chapter you're starting. Even if it's just to put it on paper somewhere, make that first step into existence.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

The Farmer's Greatest Asset Podcast. We believe the Farm's Greatest Asset is the Farmer. Their knowledge, experience, mind, and health.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Well, welcome to the podcast. I'm Jesse.

SPEAKER_04 0:38

And I'm Dr. Leah.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Wherever and whenever you're listening to the podcast, welcome back. It is still January. It's still a little cold in the Midwest.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

A little. I think it's frigid.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Definitely cold.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

I miss 50 already. I mean, I'm glad that we got the deep frost, so our insect pressure won't be so high.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

I think now we do have a pretty decent freeze.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Got some tillage and some bug control going on out there.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

Our well fro our well pump froze or whatever. So I'm I'm sure we're good.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

I I usually use that as my gauge. If it gets that deep that we have to go thaw out the well, then I think we're pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

It's a pretty deep gauge, actually.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

So that happened last week. Uh a couple of days. It's nice to have teenagers that can go and take care of that for you. Yes, it is. Thank you, Lucy and Henry.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Lizzie too.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

And Lizzie, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

So we got the cows calved and out of the shop, finally.

SPEAKER_04 1:54

I think it's it's so funny because it was your idea. I know. But from the moment they were in there, it drove you bonkers.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

Yeah. It was just like, oh, it stinks so bad. I'm like, they're cows. Like, what did you expect?

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Well, the smell doesn't necessarily bother me, but it made the shop smell and the office because it's attached to the shop. And the humidity is what really irritated me. Just three cows in there creates so much humidity, and then they have a calf, and then that whole water bag, and there's just so much humidity. Like it was raining in the shop. Humidity. But we got three calves, nice calves out of it. They all had them on their own. So kept them out of cold and saved the ears and the tails.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

And they look really healthy.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah, they look good.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

They're jumping around and frisky.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

This is Henry's little lucky strike, I guess, right? He got bought three embryos and all three stuck. One was supposed to be a heifer and it turned out to be a bull, but that's how it goes.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

So of course, the only, you know, baldy was the bull calf.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

He was praying for a baldy, and it's not even a full-face baldy, it's just a little white stripe. They're good calves.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

Yeah. They're nice, solid calves and look doing well. I think the not the funniest thing, but we got to the point where it was time for them to have calves, and Henry got sick. It fell on mom and dad.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Yes, it did.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

That's okay. Let me go back to my OB roots.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Yeah, you even, I let you check them. It's like you got smaller hands and arms than me. Worked out better.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

I also, I think, have a little more patience and compassion with checks.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, but that's all good. My fall cows will calve out this fall when it's nice out, we won't have to put them in the shop.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

Oh, don't worry. Henry will have more embryos put in and it'll be.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yeah. It's all right. He's getting his little project started, so yeah. All is good.

SPEAKER_04 4:30

It is good. But the the weather could change at any point. I'd be happy with that. But I think February, they're saying is supposed to be really cold.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Next week here, they're talking 30 for a high. So to me, that's perfect. Let the ground stay frozen.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

And it's not muddy.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Get our grain bags picked up.

unknown 4:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

It is time. We have a lot of grain to get hauled. And much to our dismay, that report did not swing the way we wanted it to. And yeah, I don't even know if we talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

I mean, that's been that horse is dead, right? Everybody's talked about it, and I think we all know what's going on there.

SPEAKER_04 5:11

But well, we don't have to talk about that, but we do need to get some grain hauled.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Right. Get some grain gone and pay some bills.

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Yeah. So well, all the upcoming inputs.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Right.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Get some discounts.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Tis the season. They're all calling.

SPEAKER_04 5:35

I'm glad they call you. My phone is relatively quiet.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

My phone's nonstop.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

Your phone is nonstop. I saw a post about that. You know you're married to a farmer when is you know he has more rings in two hours than you I get in two weeks. That's a ball. But I know that feeling. I have lived that in my past. So I'm definitely happy with not having that now. Quiet is good for me.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Kind of leads into what you want to talk about today and creating some boundaries.

Turning A Farm Into A Business

SPEAKER_04 6:15

Yeah. So as you and I continue to develop our business, farming is unique in the fact that it's a family operation, but in how both of us grew up, there wasn't the business was never it wasn't ever looked at as a business.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Right.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Per se. Right. So you didn't have like meetings to sit down and talk about things. And I mean, my mom just paid bills whenever she could. You know, it wasn't like, oh, I have this time set aside. And I think that that's probably been one of the hardest things for me in not having that example of how to effectively organize the business portion of our farming. Because we are so good at looking at inputs and how to grow the crop, but there are other major, major things that we we don't put as much time and effort into because it you have to put your butt in that seat and sit down and plan.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

And there's so many dollars going through all of our operations anymore that we've got to treat it like a big business and run it like a big business.

SPEAKER_04 7:42

Well, and the margins are so slim that you really need to sit down and figure out where all the costs are and how to cut and nip and tuck. You know, to push when you want.

Roles, Expectations, And Burnout

SPEAKER_02 8:14

But you were trained to be a doctor and just go to work. And you say all of the time how you never took a business course, and you wish you would have taken a business course. So that is also your training. It's also growing up on a farm because that's what we hold on to so much is that work ethic. And we're just gonna go to work and we're gonna work hard. And it's we've said it before, it's the old school mentality, just go work hard and it'll it'll all work out.

SPEAKER_04 8:45

Well, it doesn't work like that anymore.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

You gotta work it out.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

Not with the on it, not with the number, not with the dollars that are going through the costs of everything. And as you grow, if you want to continue to grow, you really have to start putting systems in place. And for for me, you know, with the farm and homeschooling, and so the kids being home all day and wanting to have healthy food and and keeping up a home, um it's it's hard to know where to begin and end and hold some structure within within our lives.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

I think we're also good at throwing projects at ourselves.

SPEAKER_04 9:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

We've got another little project going on at home. But that can be a little surprise for later on, I suppose.

SPEAKER_04 9:43

So I saw this meme as well about this woman who is like carrying this huge load on her back, and and she's bending down to give her children a kiss on the forehead and a hug, and it was symbolizing how much a woman is carrying with her all of the time. And I think that that is very true for all women these days. Um, but definitely that holds true in agriculture and on the farm. But I think it's that way for men as well. I think in our society today, like we're at a point in that our typical marriage roles are so blurred, you just gotta figure out how it's gonna work for you as a couple. And and I think that, you know, after being together almost 20 years, actually 20 years this coming weekend.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Not married, but together.

Why Boundaries Beat Busy Work

SPEAKER_04 10:47

Right. We uh I think we're beginning to kind of figure it out. But it but it's evolving, and before we know it, our kids are gonna be gone and it's gonna evolve some more. I think the boundaries portion for me is I have had to overcome what my thoughts on being a good wife and a good mom and a good housewife and a good farm wife are. And, you know, for a long time when I was a doctor, I still wanted to be a good wife and a good mom. It was a different life at that point, and having to really sit down and figure out what all of those things meant to me. That's been something I've been unpacking for the last couple weeks. It's been a really big struggle for me to let go of that ideal. Because of a good wife and a good mom, and a good housewife, and a good farm wife, and what all of those mean, because they weren't serving me well.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Those are also expectations you're putting on yourself.

SPEAKER_04 12:02

Yes, right. Like I had to unpack what I thought those things were and understand that they were not aligning with the trajectory of my life.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Because a lot of those expectations were put on yourself, not by me.

SPEAKER_04 12:20

Oh no, not by you.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

I I do ask you to do a lot on the farm, especially since you have retired from medicine. Your role has completely changed. And I'm probably guilty of abusing that situation and having you around and doing errands and you know, run us lunch or supper or whatever. But a lot of times you'll say, You've got to go do something because you think I want you to do it. And that's just you putting it on yourself.

SPEAKER_04 12:54

And I think I learned really young that that was a way to control everything for myself.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Right.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

If I put all of those responsibilities onto me, then I can handle whether or not something happens in a certain way. And that's just fear and scarcity. It's been a really kind of rough couple weeks for me unpacking all of those pressures that I've put on myself. Like it wasn't you, it's not the kids. All I know, all that you want is for me to be happy in what I'm doing. But it's all of this pressure that I've been putting on myself with these roles that I had in my head that I had to let go of. And I think I'm still in the middle of processing that. But the first thing that I realized is I have no boundaries in my life. And I shouldn't say I have no boundaries in my life. I I would get up every morning and be like, okay, I'm gonna ask Jesse what his plans are for the day, and I'm gonna see what the kids' plans are for the day, and then I will figure out what I'm gonna do around all of that.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

And so then you ask me what my plans are for the day, and I have a general plan of what's gonna happen, but funny enough, you sit and wait to see what my plan is, and I sometimes don't divulge what my plan is because I'm waiting to see what your plan is. So it's it's a two-way street that we're both not passing each other on because we're waiting to see what the other one has for the other one to do. Also on the farm, I mean, especially with livestock, you gotta adapt to the day and put a fire out or whatever. And you think I don't have a plan for the day for the farm, but I have a general idea of what I want to happen. It just things change, and that's hard for you when we gotta completely pivot and do something different.

Healing From Medicine And Control

SPEAKER_04 15:03

Well, I think there's a lot of a lot of trauma from obstetrics in that regard, because my life was would be completely up-ended every single day, and there was absolutely like I had a schedule, and then everything would get completely disrupt disrupted, and then it would then I had double the schedule the next day. And so it was just this put it off, put it off, put it off type situation that I don't really ever want to get back into again. And I think that that might be where some of that underlying fear comes from of that uncertainty because I had so much uncertainty every day.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Obstetrics is so much like farming in that you do go in with a plan, like you were just saying, but then all of a sudden it hits the fan, and it's just you you learn to adapt and move on with the day. That is the first time you've ever kind of mentioned that, and that's totally what it is. You're just you're retired from medicine and you want to be retired from that kind of lifestyle, I think.

Working On The Business Habits

SPEAKER_04 16:22

Well, I think that there's just more healing that needs to be done there, unpacking with all of that, but not to say that we don't have to have boundaries. And when you say boundaries, you mean time set aside for very specific things like working on the business. I know we talk about that a lot.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

I guess I'm just trying to say when you say boundaries, you don't mean that you don't want me to ask you to do something. It's that you want to have time set aside, and we need to do that.

SPEAKER_04 16:59

Because you and I are very good at avoiding what we don't really love to do. And I and we like to get work done. It is so ingrained in us to just go and get some work done, and that feels so good.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

Production.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

Yeah. And the other stuff, it like you don't see immediate action, so therefore, it doesn't feel like you're getting anything done.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

You're just Well, and who likes to pay bills?

SPEAKER_04 17:30

It's not just paying the bills, but even like the marketing plan and the and all of those really big things that we tend to put off.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Are now the most important thing that you should do as a farmer is your marketing plan and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

Well, especially since you have the row you have the row crop dialed in so much. You're doing really great with that.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

That's the goal to improve that every year.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

Sure.

Weathering Markets And Community

SPEAKER_02 17:57

We had a little meeting the other day with ended up being one other farmer and some other professionals, and they had a guy there that's supposed to be um, he specializes in trends, market trends, and why things happened the way they did, and then always has an outlook for extended. And the walk away basically was you better weather the storm for at least another year, if not more.

SPEAKER_04 18:29

Things might be better in 2027. That was kind of that was kind of the gist of what I heard.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Literally, what he said was a lot of the boxes that we needed to check to get better have been checked, but I mean, farming is a long game, right? So it's it's literally survive this year, next year, next half a year, and uh things will get better.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

For me, one thing that I thought through that whole meeting was how can we as small family farms kind of band together to help each other weather the storm? I think too often we see each other as competition, and we've talked about this at length, um we have to start supporting each other because the longevity of the family farm is going to be be dependent upon community. And if we don't uh make a community and uh help each other, or at least be happy for our neighbors' successes.

Equipment, Debt, And Cooperation

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Like you don't have to go out and try to rent ground away from them just so uh somebody else doesn't get it. We our ego takes takes over and wants to do those sorts of things, but we can help each other out and What does that look like? I don't know. Um, because another one of their comments the other day was your equipment is one of the things that could be making your operation bleed, whether it be too much equipment or too big a equipment loan, whatever it is. So does that mean you should share some equipment with a co-op of farmers? Um, and I know there's some people out there that are making it work.

SPEAKER_04 20:26

You would have to have a lot of structure and boundaries to make that work, because everybody's farm is the most important thing to them when it comes to whose farm gets to use the combine first or in what you'd have to know who you're in business with, and everybody would have to have the best interests of the greater good at heart.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

Not I'm gonna be a part of this group because then I could run a bigger piece of equipment, but I'm gonna be a part of this group because then we could share the equipment cost and we could all be better together.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

Well, and bankers don't look at your equipment as the asset that you do. Right. And it depreciates very quickly in their eyes. You can have a lot of equipment and it really not mean anything on your asset sheet.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Right.

SPEAKER_04 21:25

Not to them anyway.

Redefining A “Good” Spouse

SPEAKER_01 21:27

So we kind of veered off in a little path there, but well, yes and no.

SPEAKER_04 21:32

Um the big takeaway for me is that we need to continue to work on the business, not just in the business. And also that for me as a woman, and I think a lot of women share this. I can't speak as a man. Um the roles that I I have put on myself that were passed on from the generations of women ahead of me, those roles run really deep and they may not serve you. So the what I kept saying to myself about what I should do and what I thought you wanted from me was not actually anything that you asked for or wanted from me. It was all the pressure I put on myself.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Right. So, what does in your mind a good wife or a good farm wife or a good housewife mean to you? Because for me, for you to be any of those things, a good wife is to be present and to be there with me and support me in our endeavors. It's not you doing the dishes or you doing the laundry or you bringing supper out to us, it's you being present and and there as a supportive spouse. And I'll tell you, when you tell me that you are thankful for the things I do and and you support me in the things that I do, like that that makes it worth it. And that is what I need, and just you being thankful and being there and being supportive. It's not the those other actions that I mentioned that make you a good good wife.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

So to me, a good a good housewife has a clean house all the time, the laundry's always done, meals are cooked from scratch, everyone's enjoying their time together, and everything gets done.

SPEAKER_04 24:05

I'm well rested, so we can spend quality time together as a family.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

So when I walk into the house and it's a mess and the kids are upset and things aren't going well for you, I just feel like I've failed every day.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

And you take that on and you try to fix it.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

All of it. Because then I quote unquote have control over it, which is not necessarily the truth. So that is the battle I have had for the last seven years letting go of all of that.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

So that is the old identity that is now dying or is dead, and I'm ready to step into my new identity and taking hold of the audacious dreams that I have for my future. And I think that that is the difficult part of letting go because it's familiar and stepping into where I know I need to go, but I have to take the step to find out where the path is going too.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

You have a new chapter starting, and you need to quit telling yourself that you failed as a wife and raising amazing children.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

Yeah, we do have amazing kids.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Our children are now teenagers, and that chapter is coming to an end, and we're gonna have a new chapter starting soon.

SPEAKER_04 26:00

It starts now, babe.

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Now is the time.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

I would love to hear what your big audacious dream is, because your soul came to this earth with a purpose and something that would be easy and amazing and vibrant and a way to serve others because that service provides love to everyone, and that is how we grow society and grow community. And when we put our audacious dreams on the back burner, we are not truly serving anyone. So, what are your audacious dreams? Send me an email. I'd love to hear them. At farmersgreatestasset at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Tell us what new chapter you're starting.

SPEAKER_04 26:58

Even if it's just to put it on paper somewhere, make that first step into existence. I'd love to hear it. Because we need people on this earth who have audacious goals and dream big, beautiful ideas.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

As always, thanks for listening. And remember, it's a good day.

SPEAKER_04 27:25

To have a great day. Bye.