How I came to know Jesus [Episode 1]

Transcript

0:01

God's been moving all over town. Good news, gossip, spreading hope and light. Good news, gossip, making dark days bright. Every testimony, every story. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to The Good News Gossip, the place where we spill the best kind of tea, the truth about Jesus. You know, people love to talk. They love the latest scoop, the inside story, the did you hear about so and so, but today I'm flipping the script because the story I'm sharing is my own. Now, this isn't just any story. It's my testimony. It's raw, it's real, it's honest, and it's the most important thing that has ever happened to me. So if you're here for the good gossip, the kind that changes lives in the best way, get ready for your understanding of gossip to change, because I'm about to give you a tell all on how Jesus completely turned my life around. Let's get into it. I want to start off by telling you how I grew up. I grew up casually going to church. It wasn't really a strict, forced thing. It was a go if you want to go type of thing. But I always felt a strong curiosity for who God was from a young age. It wouldn't be until I was 17 that I would actually begin to have answers. Before 17, I had witnessed a cycle of drug addiction from my dad. Growing up, I was such a daddy's girl, so when I began to see brokenness inside of him, I wanted to be the one to put him back together. But there was nothing I could do. This is actually the thread that started to unravel my sense of security, my belonging, and self worth. At the age of 15, I was intoxicated on a regular basis. I was a self proclaimed pothead and had lost my virginity at 14. I had continued seeking validation from boys. However, one boy in particular went to church. When he invited me to start going with him, I didn't know it then, but it would completely change my trajectory of life. To be completely honest, I only started going to this youth group to be able to spend more time with this boyfriend but eventually it stopped being about him. I was actually connecting with the other kids and making new friends, and these friends had parents at the church. They seemed to have something that I didn't have, but I wanted so badly. This is where I finally began taking my relationship with God seriously. I wanted to know what the preacher was talking about. What the songs meant that we would sing on Sundays, and why my friends and their parents were happy without doing drugs or alcohol. My lifestyle hadn't really changed, but my heart was changing. I do see now that God was working on me because he knew that I would face the biggest decision of my life very soon. I was 16 and he was 14 when this boyfriend and I started dating. By the time we realized that our relationship was coming to an end, it was the summer of 2012. I don't remember the exact timeline, but in the span of a few days, we had been figuring out life outside of our relationship. When I had this undeniable feeling, I needed to take a pregnancy test. He was with me when I took it, and I'm sure the shock of the positive test result is a traumatizing memory for us both. I truly didn't know how to feel either because throughout the past few years, while my mom had done her best to teach me safety, she would also tell me that if I ever got pregnant in high school, I was going to have an abortion. She was serious about this, but I never really considered the reality of it until it was happening to me. I mean, what 15 and 17 year old actually consider the outcomes of the choices they make? After telling both of our parents, everything is a blur for me. All I remember is having this huge, shameful secret, but also feeling like I needed to protect my baby. My mom was still set on me not having to become a mom at such a young age. And at this time, I couldn't help but feel resentment for the woman I once admired because she herself was married and pregnant with me at 16. The hypocrisy angered me. All my life I had listened to my mom. Tell my brother and I how we were the best things that ever happened to her. I couldn't help but think, why would she not want me to have my baby so I could cherish them the way that she cherished us? Behind her tough act during this time, I knew she was just a disappointed mom, watching her daughter making all the choices she never wanted her to have to make. My mom had gone through so much to make sure my brother and I had everything we needed. I respected her for all the sacrifices she made for us, although I hadn't planned on being an unwed and pregnant high school student. I felt my motherly instincts already taking over to make all the sacrifices I needed to for my baby. Prior to the breakup and the reality of becoming parents, My boyfriend and I had planned to go on a trip with our youth group to a church camp in Kentucky. I decided to still go and I'm not exactly sure why because I was having the worst morning sickness. And that would be very hard to hide. But I would find out soon why I was meant to be there at that church camp. When we showed up to the first night of camp, I had just met my camp counselor. And she was getting to know us by having us fill out a paper. The last question on this piece of paper said, Tell me something nobody knows about you. This was the moment I felt a boldness come over me. A boldness that I have come to learn now only happens when God is working. I'll never forget how it felt to write the words, I'm pregnant. I'm absolutely sure that this is the last thing that camp counselor expected to read when she was going through all the answers. Maybe a part of me thought that she wouldn't actually read them, but she did, and I know this because her and a chaperone from the church found me a little later, sat with me in the empty chapel, and began to talk to me. What I remember most from this conversation that they had with me was The piece that I felt I didn't feel ashamed or judged. These two women worked on behalf of the Lord, and they ministered to me in the darkest point in my life. They told me about the love and forgiveness that Jesus had to offer. All I had to do was accept it. And I was so ready to ask and receive everything that the Lord was ready to give me. In this moment, I knew he wanted me to keep my baby. This child was not a sin, although I had sinned. This innocent life was not a punishment. He was a blessing of the most abundant kind. After my encounter with Jesus and his forgiveness, I felt renewed. I felt empowered to share what I was going through with the rest of the youth group girls. It wasn't easy, I felt as though I had let them down, and I apologized for not setting a better example. I was taking accountability and growing up rapidly. I had to if I was going to stand up to my mom once and for all and tell her that I am keeping this baby. We get back from the church trip and it wasn't too long afterwards that my mom is on the phone with the abortion clinic making the appointment. She hands the phone to me and tells me that they have to speak to me. And the lady on the other end tells me that I can make this decision for myself. I remember her telling me that since I was 17 this is my choice. I don't remember what I said to this lady. I wish that I did and I wish that I knew her name because I could tell her that my son is now 12 years old. The decision to keep my son was not an easy one, but it was the right one. While pregnant with my son, I was baptized, marking the beginning of my walk with Christ. Over the next 12 years, I faced many struggles, each one reminding me of my need for God's grace. Time and time again, he intervened, guiding me back when I strayed. No matter how far I drifted, I was always met with the unwavering love of Jesus, gently calling me home. I also want to make one thing very clear. My mom deeply regrets ever having the mindset of abortion. If she could redo any moment in her life, it would be this one. The mere thought of not having her grandchild here today is unbearable to her. But Jesus stepped in, completely transformed her heart, changed the way she saw my pregnancy, and replaced fear with love. By the time my son arrived, she was overjoyed to welcome him into the world, and from that moment on, she's been absolutely obsessed with him. I also want to take the opportunity to talk about my dad. I mentioned in the beginning of my story how our relationship was strained and how drug addiction played a part. But I am so beyond blessed because my dad actually encountered Jesus himself. And it's his relationship with the Lord that has honestly given me such a strong connection myself. Because I do believe that when you have a father that is looking to the Father, you have a firm foundation. And so, I just want to give praise for that, and just also give my dad the recognition he deserves because he had to fight a lot of battles and a lot of demons in his lifetime. And for Jesus to have taken over his heart for him to be the man that he is today is something really commendable. And, I am just beyond blessed. I have two wonderful parents, and I have amazing step parents. Not to discount them at all because I truly feel like I just hit the mother load when it comes to parenting. And even though my brother and I, we had our struggles during childhood, it doesn't affect me as much to this day because I did give everything over. To the Lord, and that is what is so supernatural about following Jesus, is you can have, like, the worst of the worst experiences, but when you truly encounter Him, He takes that all away, and gives you a life that is full of joy, a heart that isn't heavy, and just this wonderful outlook on life, honestly. So, I just wanted to tell you guys that part of my story. Obviously, I have more testimony. I have had a lot of encounters with Jesus. So, this won't be my last piece of testimony, but this is the major one. This is how I came to know Christ. Okay, this was a hard story to share, but I know someone out there needed to hear it. If that's you, if you're facing what feels like an impossible situation, if you feel alone, afraid, or like you've messed up too much for God to love you, let me tell you, His grace is bigger. His love is stronger, and He is with you, just like He was with me. Twelve years ago, I was a scared, seventeen year old girl, convinced my life was over. But God had a plan greater than my fear. He took my brokenness and turned it into something beautiful. My son is living proof of God's goodness, and so am I. Maybe you're listening, and you're at a crossroads, wondering if God can really forgive you. Really love you. Really redeem your story. Let me be the one to tell you he can. He already has. All you have to do is turn to him. If this episode spoke to you, I'd love to hear your story. You're not alone and I want you to know that God sees you. If you need prayer or just someone to reach out to, to talk to, we're here. If you know someone who needs to hear this, share this episode with them. You never know how one story, one moment of encouragement can change a life. Thank you for listening to the Good News Gossip. Until next time, remember the best news you'll ever hear is that Jesus loves you, and that's one thing worth sharing. You heard my story this week, but next week you'll be hearing Charity's testimony, so stay tuned, subscribe, download, and share. God's been moving all over town. Good news, gossip, spreading hope and light. Good news, gossip, making dark days bright. Every testimony, every story.